Girls Gone Bible – Dating Do’s & Dont’s | September 27, 2025

Episode Overview

Angela Halili and Arielle Reitsma open up a candid, faith-centered discussion about Christian dating, sharing practical do’s and don’ts for both men and women. Drawing from personal experience, listener polls, and conversations with friends, they explore green flags, red flags, common struggles, and the importance of self-worth and spiritual growth while single. The episode aims to encourage listeners to approach dating intentionally, rooted in their identity in Jesus rather than cultural expectations or self-doubt.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Value of Practical Dating Advice

• Angela and Arielle acknowledge the need for clear, practical guidance, especially in the Christian community where dating can be confusing.
  • “We don’t know this stuff. Like, it’s so nice to hear that a guy actually took the advice.” — Angela (00:19)
  • “It’s not about judging. It’s simply about talking about genuinely the weaknesses of people in Christian dating." — Arielle (01:16)

2. Singleness: A Time for Preparation

• Singleness is described as a crucial season for personal and spiritual growth, not something to rush past.
  • “That’s why singleness is so, so important. It only happens in your singleness.” — Angela (02:54)
  • “Please don’t stress out. This is such a good time to learn, to spend time with Jesus, to get close to Jesus…” — Arielle (03:05)

3. Essential Green Flags in Christian Dating

• Praying for and over each other is highlighted as a top “green flag.”

  • “A man that prays over you when you’re struggling… That’s so crucial.” — Angela (03:28)
  • “Knowing that a guy is praying for you will build so much intimacy...it will make you fall in love like nothing else.” — Arielle (04:28)
  • Importance of not crossing spiritual boundaries too quickly (not praying/reading the Bible together like you are married early on).

• Generosity (time, energy, finances) and responsibility are repeatedly named as key traits.

  • “Generosity is probably the top of the top.” — Angela (24:38)
  • “I love a man...who feels called to generosity, who wants to give, who sees somebody in need and wants to give.” — Arielle (23:11)

• Pursuing with courage and clarity, rather than being ambiguous or noncommittal.

4. The Problem with Over-Spiritualizing & Fantasizing

• Over-spiritualizing (waiting for “the one”) is countered with a more balanced view:

  • “I don’t think that’s true. I think the only ‘one’ is the one you enter into covenant with.” — Arielle (08:13)
  • “Don’t waste your time, but God also might have lessons for you to learn within a relationship that doesn’t end up being your spouse.” — Arielle (09:34)

• Warning against creating narratives in your head too soon (fantasizing):

  • “Fantasizing can be really detrimental...you create narratives around people that don’t exist yet.” — Arielle (16:30)
  • “Do not put them on a pedestal. Do not make idols out of them.” — Angela (20:01)

5. Compatibility, Self-worth, and Identity in Jesus

• Compatibility is highlighted as crucial—and the lack of it is NOT a reflection of personal worth.

  • “You can have the best personality, whatever...and just not be compatible.” — Angela (21:04)
  • “Just don’t let your self-worth get brought into the mix of dating...being firm in your identity in Jesus is everything.” — Arielle (21:35)

• Actively seeking Jesus is the daily solution for low self-worth.

  • “The number one way to grow and fix and increase your self-worth is to focus on the one who is worthy.” — Arielle (66:35)

6. Do’s and Don’ts for Men: Pursuing Well

Don’ts:

• Don’t leave plans vague.
  • “Do not leave her wondering what you’re doing, what time you’re doing it, at what day you’re hanging out…be assertive. Be a leader.” — Arielle (40:58)
• Don’t ask her to pay 50/50 on early dates.
  • “I do not believe in 50/50. I think as a strong man...a man is a provider.” — Angela (38:46)
• Don’t ask for casual or inappropriate first dates ("don’t ask her to go for a drink at a bar," "don’t ask her to smoke weed"). (43:04)
• Don’t string girls along as "friends" while maintaining ambiguity:
  • “If you call yourself a Christian, that ends today. You have to stop doing that. You treat every woman...like she is a daughter and a princess of God.” — Arielle (52:10)

Do’s:

• Take initiative and plan intentionally.
  • “It is so attractive when the man picks the girl up—not ‘meet me there’ but ‘I’ll pick you up at this time.’” — Angela (40:16)
• Pursue with clarity and courage.
  • “You guys don’t know how far that takes you—actually planning the dates, pick you up at this time, making the reservation...” — Angela (40:08)
• Be upfront if your intentions are platonic. Don’t maintain close pseudo-romantic friendships with unclear motives. (50:19)
• Demonstrate generosity and a willingness to serve, both materially and spiritually.

Notable Moment:

• Arielle describes how John “laid it out” the third day they met: “He said to me, ‘I just want you to know I like you and I want to pursue you and I’m going to continue pursuing you...’ And he wasn’t weird, he wasn’t desperate…” (47:14)

7. Realistic Timeline & Chemistry

• Chemistry can develop over multiple dates.
  • “Chemistry...you might not even know until four or five dates in if you actually like somebody.” — Arielle (44:40)
  • “My older sister and her husband...they hated each other at first. It took them, like, five times...” — Angela (45:47)

8. Avoiding the Pitfalls of Modern Dating Culture

• Concerns about passivity and lack of boldness among men.
  • “We need more boldness, we need more confidence, and we need more just good, respectable men that say, you know what? I’m gonna approach her.’” — Angela (48:15)
• The dangers of “toxic independence,” over-focus on career, and digital isolation.
  • “Men...become so independent that it’s a bother for them to let somebody into their life, because it does disrupt your life.” — Arielle (58:41)

9. How to Grow: Honest Self-Reflection and Community

• Constantly ask Jesus to “search my heart” and reveal what needs changing.
  • “We need God to show us what we’re even doing wrong, because we don’t even know half the time.” — Arielle (64:44)
• Surround yourself with people who model integrity and Christlike love.
  • “Being around good godly people is so crucial...when you surround yourself with that...you have to start being honest.” — Angela (62:14)

10. Purpose, Prayer, and Final Encouragement

• Encouragement to root all worth, purpose, and identity in Jesus, and to pray for and with others boldly.
  • “Identity, self-worth, self-confidence, joy, peace—all of these things begin when you give your life to Jesus.” — Arielle (66:35)
• They conclude with a prayer of salvation and blessing for listeners. (66:35–72:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• "It's not about judging...it's genuinely to be like, hey, this doesn't work. And this does work." — Arielle (01:16)
• "Become the person you want to be with, rather than even looking for the person you want to be with." — Arielle (02:27)
• “Start praying for [your future spouse] as if they already exist...your heart is going to start responding and your mind is going to start becoming encouraged.” — Arielle (07:23)
• "Do not put them on a pedestal. Do not make idols out of them...are they good enough for you?" — Angela (20:01)
• “Compatibility is everything.” — Arielle and Angela (21:18)
• "God calls us to be wildly generous...my dream is to be in a marriage...where we’re, like, plotting who we’re going to give money to..." — Arielle (23:11)
• “When you’re dating, remember that you’re not just waiting to be picked...let’s see if you like them.” — Arielle (18:19)
• "You guys don’t know how far that takes you—actually planning the dates, pick you up at this time, making the reservation..." — Angela (40:08)
• “Girls, you have all the power...You can end it and say, 'I’m not going to be...'' — Arielle (54:25)
• “If someone is interested in you, you will know.” — Angela (56:25)
• “How would a devil destroy a man in this century? Isolation through technology...replace real relationships with shallow online connections...” — Angela (57:27)
• "There is no selfishness in a thriving covenant, godly marriage. You can't be selfish, because you have to prefer the other person." — Arielle (59:13)
• “The number one way to grow and fix and increase your self worth is to focus on the one who is worthy—to focus on Jesus.” — Arielle (66:35)

Important Timestamps

• Practical advice and poll intro: (00:04–01:16)
• Singleness and preparation: (02:54–03:05)
• Green flag: Praying for your partner: (03:28–04:28)
• Discussion on "the one" myth: (08:13–09:34)
• The problem with over-spiritualizing: (13:32–14:27)
• Self-worth and compatibility: (20:01–22:07)
• Generosity and financial responsibility: (22:30–24:44)
• Planning and leading dates: (40:08–42:27)
• Chemistry building: (44:40–47:14)
• Ambiguous "friend zones" in Christian dating: (49:28–55:53)
• Self-reflection and spiritual growth: (62:14–66:33)
• Prayer and closing benediction: (66:35–72:11)

Final Thoughts

This episode of Girls Gone Bible provides a heartfelt, scripture-rooted, and practical guide on dating for Christians, emphasizing self-worth, intentionality, generosity, clarity, and the centrality of a relationship with Jesus. Angela and Arielle create a space that's honest about challenges in modern dating but hopeful about God’s design for relationships.

Memorable Takeaway:
"The number one way to grow and fix and increase your self-worth is to focus on the one who is worthy—to focus on Jesus." — Arielle (66:35)