Ari (2:56)

And I'm Ari.

Ang (2:57)

And this is girls Gone Bible. We are a faith based podcast where we talk all things spirituality, mental health, the bible. And today we have such a special guest. There is a massive story behind this meeting, this friendship we have Megan Fate Marshman, our friend, a preacher, a pastor, a disciple. Disciple. We love you, Megan. Thank you for being with us.

Megan Fate Marshman (3:21)

Oh, it's so good to be here.

Ari (3:22)

I thought that your middle name was Fate.

Megan Fate Marshman (3:27)

Sounds fancier.

Ari (3:28)

It's a little French, huh? And I said, I know that this. I. I bet it's fate, but I keep saying fate, so it's fate.

Megan Fate Marshman (3:35)

You could go either way.

Ari (3:36)

Megan Fatate Marshall. That's what I thought. Wow.

Megan Fate Marshman (3:40)

I can't believe it. I actually can't. I'm having a hard time believing it yesterday, but I'm gonna.

Ang (3:46)

We're on the podcast

Ari (3:49)

that was the first Megan Pate. Yeah.

Ang (3:51)

Yeah.

Ari (3:52)

Thank God I didn't introduce her.

Ang (3:58)

Okay. So we have actually this is our second time filming because the first time we filmed things got messed up and we weren't able to finish the episode. So we are doing around 2 today. But since the last time we saw you, something really special has happened.

Megan Fate Marshman (4:12)

Yes.

Ang (4:12)

You're engaged.

Megan Fate Marshman (4:13)

I am engaged.

Ang (4:14)

Congratulations.

Megan Fate Marshman (4:15)

Thank you.

Ang (4:16)

So exciting. It is. Oh, man.

Megan Fate Marshman (4:18)

So interesting because it's. I'm aware of who's listening and there's some people that know the full story that totally hear this and other people who go like, oh. And I'm just. It's so. It's so wild because when we meet people for the first time, whether it's on a podcast or just in life, sometimes we want to give the full context. Right? I want to, I want to give like the full Context. And yet, at the same time, the full context can be draining or full of grief, which mine happens to be. And yet what I've come to find is my willingness to go deeper and expand deeper allows the joys to actually be richer and fuller. So when you say, like, oh, you've got engaged, there's a fullness and a richness, obviously. Hopefully, anyone that's getting engaged, that would be amazing. But the depth of story just makes it feel different.

Ang (5:09)

Wow, you are so special. Okay, we're gonna get into all of that. We have so much to get into, and so much you guys have no idea. Megan is one of the wisest women that I've ever met. Being in your presence is calming. You literally wrote a book called Relaxed Walking with the one who is Worried about nothing. Right?

Megan Fate Marshman (5:27)

Yeah.

Ang (5:28)

You just have such a presence about you. The peace of God follows you into every room that you walk into. So this story is really special. As a lot of you guys know, I am six years sober. I just turned six years sober on Thanksgiving last year, and I'll be coming up on seven years this Thanksgiving. And what is so special about this story, as a lot of you guys know, is I was dating my ex, Jake at the time, and we happened to go to Jake's family's house for Thanksgiving. And there was no alcohol at this Thanksgiving party. So what did I do at the time? I brought a little alcohol in my bag to bring the party with me. Obviously, this is way before I'm saved. And I remember. Remember being at this house, and I had grown up with Jesus, but I had. I hadn't at that point really encountered him since I was probably a kid. And so I remember sitting around this Thanksgiving table, and the family said grace. And I hadn't been around a family saying grace at the dinner table in a long time. And I go home that night. Well, while I'm still at my ex's aunt's house, I. He basically finds me drinking. He finds it in my bag. Was devastated about. About it. I was devastated. We go home that night, and he basically gives me an ultimatum and says, I don't want to be with you if you're going to keep drinking. I'm not going to watch you do this to yourself. And I remember that night. And I've told the story so many times. I received supernatural deliverance from alcohol. And whenever I tell this story, I say to myself, oh, it was because I was praying with Socrates for six months. And that's what got me free. That's what led to that one moment of freedom.

Megan Fate Marshman (7:08)

And.

Ang (7:09)

And while that's the truth, I forgot one key part. Because, Megan, you preached at my pastor Darren's church garden and I was on tour. This was last year. I was on tour. It was a Sunday morning, and I was watching church online in my hotel room. You came on the screen and I'm literally watching you preach. And then I remember, oh, my gosh, Megan Fate Marshman, that's Jake's cousin. And then I go, oh, my gosh. I was at Megan. I was with Megan Fate Marshman and their Christian family on Thanksgiving. Oh, my gosh. I was in a spirit filled home the day I got sober. Could it be I literally. All of this was happening all at the same time. And I go, lord, could it be that, yes, those six months of prayer led to that moment of breakthrough, but I was in a spirit filled environment. Go home and literally break free from alcoholism in one moment.

Megan Fate Marshman (8:07)

She then reaches out to me and everything clicks for me too.

Ang (8:13)

Yes, let's hear your say.

Megan Fate Marshman (8:14)

Because my cousin Jake, before you reached out to me, had told me, hey, you remember that girlfriend of mine that I brought to Thanksgiving? And I'm like, yeah, because I can actually remember you. Thanksgiving. She started like a Christian podcast. Like, she went Christian. And I was like, really? And he goes, yeah. And I think it's like doing really well. And I'm like. And in my mind, I'll be honest.

Ang (8:41)

Yeah, please be honest.

Megan Fate Marshman (8:42)

I was like, I bet she started a cute little podcast that is doing really well and her aunt and mom all watch weekly. I bet it's going so well. And I have no idea until. Until you send a voice memo to me after that garden message. And how cool my mind right now is jumping to a story through a Streams video. There's an organization called Streams that puts out videos. And there's this one story of a guy who goes to a barber shop and starts just a normal conversation with his barber. And long story short, by the end of it, the barber goes, dude, what you don't know is I was about to take my life after work today, but then you sat in my chair. And the way the guy's talking about the encounter, he goes, I didn't even bring up the name of Jesus. I was just getting my hair cut. I think the reason I bring that up is it reminds me of, we have no idea who it is that we bring as a Christ follower, whether it was me, a culmination of my family. Just, we have no idea what we bring into an environment. We Bring the presence of God, like we. And so anyone listening in who's forgotten, I want to remind you, of course. Do we want to be intentional? Of course. Have I been trying to talk with Jake about the things of Jesus for our entire lives that I've known him? Yes. And I remember you sitting there. I remember you not being fully present. And yet parts of what people love about you were there. And I now love getting to witness you full of the spirit, full of the presence of God. Because how God crafted you before you acknowledged him by name or not was there. You were so cute and just. You were open, then you were willing, then you were curious, then you were drunk.

Ang (10:48)

You.

Megan Fate Marshman (10:50)

You couldn't hide it. I didn't. I thought I was.

Ang (10:54)

I really thought. I thought it was so interesting.

Megan Fate Marshman (10:57)

Like, I think I remember another story. My sister once got robbed the week of Christmas. Oh my gosh. Terrible. I know, look at me just jumping all around. But it'll make sense. About two minutes. And I remember all of her Christian friends, well intended, like, even myself included, like, texted, I'm so sorry when we found out. But her non Christian neighbors, like, showed up with gifts and. Well, not all of us Christian friends failed. There was a moment I'm sitting with my brother and I'm like, look at the non Christian neighbors showing up. And he goes, oh, they bear the image of God whether they acknowledge it or not. Wow. And I'm like, wow. So the source, the foundation of your life shifted. It's evident your presence shifted. Its evidence bearing the image of God hasn't. It's just because you always did. It's just profound to watch what happens when you, and this is what I know about you, you continue to open every area of your life. You're never content just being as you are. Which is fun because whether I see you five months ago or six years ago, we are constantly and especially with the Spirit in you. I think of Romans 8. 29 that says, for those God foreknew, he also predestined not to get tripped up there. That's a long story, but basically that whole chapter is about the Spirit and the Spirit versus the flesh that's within us. But for you, the Holy Spirit is clearly and evidently in you. Which means Romans 8:29, those God foreknew, he also predestined. So the Spirit in you predestined you to be conformed to the image of his son. So it's a thrill getting to see you and also know the sovereignty of God that he'll use all things.

Ang (12:36)

Yeah, he does.

Megan Fate Marshman (12:37)

Even a mistake to bring you. Like, that's profound to me that he's so good. He doesn't just use like the moment we turn. He actually can use what you used to define yourself by. He actually can use a mistake. He can use. This is profound to me. He can use your literal hiding, thank you, Jesus. Right. Like we're all hiding in some way, shape or form. We're not much different than Adam and Eve. Right. Hiding and wanting to present the best version of ourselves. And you wanted to be free. Right. And so you chose one way and now you've found a different way. And the freedom looks good on you. Thanks, Megan.

Ang (13:17)

My gosh.

Megan Fate Marshman (13:18)

Oh.

Ang (13:18)

Just even being in conversation. Okay, I have to say this because I know someone listening needs to hear it. There are seasons where opening your Bible feels so easy, and then there are seasons where takes a little more intention. And lately we've just been so mindful about staying consistent and actually sitting with the word, not just rushing through it. And honestly, Hosanna Revival has been part of our lives for a while now. We've had their Bibles for over two years and we still find ourselves always going back to them. And not just because they're beautiful, because they are beautiful, but because they feel like an invitation to slow down and really engage. Like, when something is created with intention, it pulls you in differently. And honestly, can we just say that they are so beautiful, their whole heart is that the word of God is already beautiful. And sometimes having a Bible that reflects that just helps you stay connected to it in a deeper way. They just dropped their new spring collection and it honestly feels like a fresh layer to our time with God. So if you've been wanting to be more consistent or go a little deeper in your time in the Word, this is such a simple but meaningful step. Use code GGB for 15 off. Girls Gone Bible is proud to be sponsored by Grand Canyon University, an affordable, private, non profit Christian university based in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. They say higher education is outdated and irrelevant. GCU doesn't settle for the status quo, they shatter it. Grand Canyon University is one of the largest universities in the country. At gcu, academically rigorous, industry driven programs are built to move at the speed of relevance with practical skills, career readiness and opportunity for every learner. As of December 2025, GCU offered 380 programs overall, including 153 degree programs, 180 emphasis and 56 certificate programs. 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Go to H I Y-A H-E-A-L-T-.com GGB to get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults with you just ministers to our hearts immediately. Yeah, I remember so specifically I don't remember much clearly but I wasn't like wasted but it was not great. Just that whole time in my life was such a blur. And I remember though, because I had been talking to the man who discipled me, Socrates for six months but I still wasn't like getting it like I. And it's I didn't even necessarily know if I wanted it at that point. And I remember when I was in that relationship specifically When I look back, I remember for the. I always identified as a Christian or a Catholic, but I remembered for the first time, it was kind of like during 2020, it. During COVID when all that stuff was happening and the world was weird and I was heavily influenced by Hollywood and social media and just whatever was going on in the world at that time. I remember for the first time, I go, I don't really know if I believe in all that Jesus stuff. Like, there's science. I remember distinctly, like, I had started saying stuff like that, which I had never said in my life. And then I remember when we were sitting around at Thanksgiving at your table, you were leading us in prayer. You specifically, you were leading us in prayer. We're saying grace. I think you had us all go around the table and say what we were thankful for. And I remember whoever I was sitting next to, I turned to them and I go, I was just so excited that someone was talking about Jesus. And I remember turning and going, yeah, I'm a Christian. It was like, one of the first times in a long time that I had, like, identified and even spoke like, I'm a Christian. So it's just such an insane story. I can't believe you're so divinely connected to all of this. Like, literally, I. I do. I just put. I talked to Darren about it so much, where I'm just. Like, that moment is so significant in my life, which means it's significant to our lives and to ggb. So thank you. Thank you for your life. Seriously. You have an amazing story, and you've been through so much, and you carry so much joy. And, Megan, if you could just tell us, you know, give us a little bit of backstory. So many people who watch us have gone through tremendous, profound loss, and Ari's been through a lot of loss. I've been through a little bit of loss, but I don't think either of us have experienced close to what you have. Can you just talk to us a little bit about your life, your ministry, your late husband Randy, who I had the pleasure and honor of meeting. He was such a sweet, sweet man. Can you just get into it a little bit?

Megan Fate Marshman (19:19)

Well, I'll start with what a lot of people do when it comes to loss, which is naturally just. You just did it. And I. I used to do it a lot, but I think it's really profound that we've all been through the hardest thing we've ever been through. So whether it's a little loss, a lot of loss, a lot, like, whatever degree Even anyone listening in. Everyone has the hardest thing they've ever been through. Now, this would be. Mine would be. So we met in 2020.

Ang (19:52)

Oh, no, 2019.

Megan Fate Marshman (19:53)

19. And it would be about a little over a year later that my husband went to heaven unexpectedly with a heart attack in the middle of the night. And I, we have two little boys at the time five and still in a crib, had just turned two and life flipped. And so again, even back to the intro of this whole session, it's, wow, so much has changed since I saw you last because you're engaged. I just made brief mention of it, but there's just something in me that the bottom of my life dropped out. And what I didn't know was what also dropped was my heart's capacity to, of course, experience pain and loss, but also to look to people and have the ability. I always put it this way, like grief, you have this weird superpower that you would give back willingly. I think anyone that's been through it, you go, I just give back the superpower if I could. But since we can't, the superpower is this. That suddenly in loss, you stop caring about things that don't matter anymore, and you start caring a whole heck of a lot about the things that do matter. So having conversations, it's so funny. All the stuff that I could have in the past been fearful of, like bringing up or jumping into things like eternity or heaven or pain or sadness or trauma or grief or anxiety or any other thing that we all go through in the human experience. I have this super. I have a superpower. Thank you. Thank you. No, I just really care about people finding God there. I care about them searching their heart to the depth of wherever their life has dropped to and finding God there because he promises to be found. One of my favorite promises in scripture is Jeremiah 29:13, which is two verses after the God speaking. I know the plans I have for you to the people who are in the middle of suffering, which is a few verses after he tells them, stay in the hard. And then that plan that he has, that's good, and all that is going to be seven years later, which makes me laugh when we put that on graduation cards. But the promise is in 13, which says this. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. And since losing Randy, I have accessed portions of my heart that I never knew were there. And I feel a great privilege to be someone, whether it's vocationally, but hopefully just in life that helps people access their heart too. Because what we find is, if you seek God there, you'll find him in some of the most surprising places, you'll find him in your grief. If you seek him there, he promises to be found by you. In fact, he says it again in verse 4:14 of Jeremiah 29, which always makes me laugh, like he says it twice, which means, I wonder if, by the way, that is the plan in 2911 that we all talk about. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord's plans, prosper you have to harm you, and plans to give you hope in a future. I wonder if all of that is just found and founding him there. And so suddenly just shifts a little bit of what we seek. And I'd say it ought to, or it can shift what we seek everywhere. It shifts what we seek in our quiet times. Suddenly it's no longer like, inspire me or make me feel better or even give me peace. Peace is amazing, but it's a. It's an amazing byproduct, not the goal. If you seek peace, you might be. You might critique every single thing in your life that doesn't give you peace. If you seek happiness, you will critique everyone and everything based on how happy it makes you. But the promise is, if you seek to find God, you'll find what you're looking for. And this, this changes even the immediate conversation when you walk out of church from what you think. In other words, would you like. Would you not like? Like, that's just, you know, which song did you like? Which we naturally jump into that. But the problem is it. It makes our seeking like our appetite is based on what we like or what makes us feel challenged or comfortable or versus just how'd you find God today? How'd you find God this morning? And then it suddenly shifts. Something that is findable and that's important for anyone whose life has bottomed out, or it's important for anyone whose heart they don't understand. And it all starts with an opening of the heart, which is kind of cool because I know we had an interaction or like first times we crossed paths was when I really started to begin to study the heart and why it matters for us to. To search it. Because I like the way Proverbs 4 says it says, above all else, guard it, guard your heart, because everything you do flows from it. In other words, if you want to change your life, what you do actually have to access the heart. You don't change your life by trying to change your life. I relied so much on motivation and now I'm realizing, oh, searching my heart with God, acknowledging the grief, not ignoring it.

Ang (25:08)

Wow.

Megan Fate Marshman (25:09)

Acknowledging the insecurity, acknowledging. Then I'm kind of bored in my quiet time, like, acknowledging the truth, because that's the only place God's going to meet you.

Ang (25:21)

Okay. I am.

Megan Fate Marshman (25:24)

Wow.

Ang (25:25)

First, I want to go to. Because I want to talk about how to truly search your heart, what you're talking about, how to acknowledge it. But first, can we go back to you mentioned? And when your life bottoms out, seeking Jesus, not peace, seeking Jesus, not happiness, you open, like, can you just teach us how to do that? People want a practical way to have quiet time. How do you.

Megan Fate Marshman (25:48)

Yeah, I'll give. In that season of my life, I went back to school and I had a really neat homework assignment. And I'll get real practical because I think we need that. I needed that. And so I know what I want. Like, I want to seek the Lord, but I also know that I might not.

Ang (26:08)

Yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (26:08)

So what do you do? I know that I want to wake up and pray in solitude and silence for 45 minutes. I would love to do that, but sometimes I press snooze, and I don't want to do that.

Ari (26:18)

Yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (26:18)

But, you know, so then I started to realize, like, what am I going to do no matter what? And I feel like, trigger, the term trigger gets this kind of funny rap because of course, it, like, typically triggers us to pain or trauma or whatever. I was like, how can I use that even differently? So I was thinking about it, and then I got this homework assignment, which basically was to create rhythms and practices in my life. And so one thing I did is I went, you know what? I might forget to pray, but I definitely am not going to forget coffee. So as practical as this is, anytime I pressed my coffee button, it was a trigger. It's like redeeming the word. It was a trigger reminding me to pray. And then I'll. Another thing I learned from Dr. John Koh, one of my professors. Professors, was one part of my prayer that I did that I found to be so helpful was this. Do you ever have those moments in prayer when you, like, unintentionally, like, start performing and you're not meaning to? Especially if, like, it's been a while since you've prayed, you're not sure how to enter back in. So you're God. Dear God, thank you for this day, of course. And thine is the kingdom and the glory. You know, you just don't know where to go foreign.

Ang (27:24)

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Megan Fate Marshman (29:33)

can resonate with this. You have that moment when suddenly your mind just is somewhere else. Like, is it wandering over there? And then you're there for like a minute and a half thinking about. And then there's that moment when you, like, realize, I'm no longer praying. So then what do you do then? Because typically what I used to do forever was, would be wandering, I'm hungry, or, oh, that friend's mad at me. And what I would do in that moment when I realized it was, I would pause the prayer, shame myself back to the performance prayer that I thought he was proud of, and I'd start again. And so the question you asked was, how do you get to the heart? Here's the. The big surprise. My professor said, a wandering mind in prayer is a gift.

Ang (30:16)

Wow.

Megan Fate Marshman (30:17)

I was like, how so? And he goes, because where's your mind wandering to? Jesus put it this way. He said, where your treasure is, there your heart is.

Ang (30:28)

So.

Megan Fate Marshman (30:29)

And where did your. Where's your mind? Isn't it wild that I'm assuming people listening in, some have, like, trusted the Lord Jesus for eternal salvation from forgiveness of all sins. And yet the fact that they think that their friend is mad at them, they feel like they have to do that one all by themselves or their taxes, or like, whatever consumes the mind, whatever gives the mind, whatever our mind jumps to, wherever our mind wanders to, is communicating something to us. And so here's my encouragement when your mind begins to wander. And this was part of my spiritual discipline for a season, was this, let it go. And then talk to him about that. And I would just wait there. And then I would just let. The best part about the whole, like, how do you see God with all your heart? That surprise in the whole thing is that he's been seeking you the whole time. My friend Alan gave this illustration. He said, you know, my little daughter and I would walk down this busy street, we'd hold hands, and he goes. And I'd always tell her, hold my hand tight. Hold my hand tight. Grab my hand, hold my hand tight. And she would. And I'd remind her, and then she'd forget. Then I'd remind her, and then she forget. And then I'd remind her. And he goes, but the best part of all for my little girl is that even when she forgets, I never stop holding hers. How cool is that? So whether you reach out with your coffee pot tomorrow or not, he's Pursuing you. And then it suddenly just shifts. Like what quiet time is suddenly. It's not like trying to strive. It's like I'm just gonna open to the pursuit. I'm gonna open to the love that I believe but have forgotten to receive in a very long time. And the only way I'm gonna receive it is by looking at the things in me honestly. Honestly, that probably don't feel lovable. In fact, so interesting. John Calvin says this phrase like he talks about this thing called double knowledge that you can't know God without knowing yourself. And I was like, I feel like we're kind of self obsessed. Why would we, why would we need to know our heart and know ourselves? Like, why? Until I recognized, wait a second, I've known my whole life God is love. But when I look at myself, or let's say look at my jealousy or my judgment or my fill in the blank. And now I consider that God is love. Suddenly his love for me expands because his love for me is no longer dependent upon my good behavior. So my awareness of his love expands as I know myself and voice that to the one who loves you the most. So tangibly. How do you access your heart? Two things. I do one coffee pot prayer, let my mind wander. And the second part of the prayer, and then we can go wherever else is another part of that prayer that I do because I am in Christ. I didn't even know what that phrase meant. It sounded great. I knew I had an identity in Christ. I did not know what it meant. I have a discipline of reminding myself of what it means at my coffee pot. And it's this. I imagine myself as an onion. So imagine that being your whole heart, your personality, your everything. Body, mind, spirit, everything. And what I do after I do the wandering mind moment is I just allow each layer to open up to them. And I start by going, oh God, I am, I'm a mom. That's what's on my. A role responsibility I hold. I at the time, especially in that deep season of grief, it was, I'm a widow. And I'd sit in the, with the suckiness of that in my 30s. And then I would get to. And I'd start with like my roles, my jobs, even I'm a pastor. And I just kind of open up all these pieces. And I'd also say this added part of like, I am these things, but I'm not primarily these things. I'm a woman. I'm sensitive, I am outgoing, I am funny, sad. Thank you. I am very funny. And then I get to, like, personality, and then I get to how I'm feeling, and then I get to how my body feels. And then I. And then I get to the core, core, core, core, core. I am in you, and you're in me. Me. Yeah. And then I linger there before putting all that stuff on, asking, like, what does it mean to have the spirit as a mom? What does it mean? As I put back my personality, I'm outgoing, but, like, I have this spirit that. That's different than just being outgoing. That suddenly is like, whoa, there's something here. God's gonna give me energy from other people. That's. I mean, and then I just kind of, like, put on all the layers. Like, well, I'm not primarily those things. I still am those things. And suddenly those are something to steward our finances, to steward our personality, to steward our neighbors, to steward our story, which you guys have done very faithfully to steward. And the best part is, is we do. We're not doing it alone.

Ang (35:08)

I don't. I don't know what to say. I am getting rocked. I think something that you said that resonated with me so much is, like, I love. I feel so freed by you simply saying, when your mind wanders, let it go there. It's going there for a reason. That's clearly what your heart wants to talk about. And, like, literally today and every day when that happens, I'll be like, holy Spirit, Like, I'm doing all my spiritual stuff, and then my mind begins to wander. And then I come back, and I'm like, you alone are worthy, Lord. Why can I make it this intense thing? And I shame myself so much because I'm like, no, no, no. And it's like, my biggest prayer is that God would just, like, tear down every idol to break every bit of idolatry. And then I shame myself so hard when I see that something is rising above Jesus, or I see that, like, my anxiety or my worry is clearly more important than just, like, looking at Jesus's face that day. And I have had Ari goes to through this as well. I think we both experience God at times as a. Like, an angry God or a disappointed dad or this, like, perpetual feeling that God is mad at us. And so I'm just so grateful. And, like, maybe you can speak to that, because you don't seem like you have that, and it's amazing.

Megan Fate Marshman (36:25)

Well, I. I just think the spirit is more involved in everything than we realize. Like, that's why we don't have to pause the prayer.

Ang (36:31)

Yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (36:32)

And we can talk to him about that. I just gave a message two weeks ago, and it was actually a gnarly passage. And it speaks to what you're just talking about. It was this one, Matthew 7. So in the end of the Sermon of the Mount, things. End of the Sermon on the Mount, it says this Jesus speaking. Not everyone who says to me, lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven. Yeah. But only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles? Then I will tell them plainly, I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers. Here's the surprise. He does not say, you didn't know me. Jesus says, you didn't let me know you.

Ang (37:20)

Wow.

Megan Fate Marshman (37:21)

Like, I care about all the things. I meant all the things. And you brought up the angry God. It's so interesting. When I used to be terrified of this passage, I imagine, like, that the whole Sermon on the Mount was him, like, don't do this. Yeah, for sure. Don't do that. Like, for sure. Not that you know better than that. Especially you over there. I felt that, like, tone. But I forgot that the entire Sermon on the Mount begins with what Beatitudes, which are what? Blessed are the. So he's literally begins the whole thing with blessing. But what kind of blessing? The surprising kind. That's like, guess why are you blessed when you're teary eyed?

Ari (37:57)

That's so good.

Megan Fate Marshman (37:58)

Guess when you're blessed when you're at the end of yourself.

Ang (38:01)

So good.

Megan Fate Marshman (38:02)

So guess what? He wants to hear about all of that. And he wants to know you. He wants to know you and be with you in all of it. And this is the. I just think that the spirit is. I just. I hope I'm learning about him the rest of my life. I'm planning to keep me accountable. Like you're a no sugar diet. Yeah. Is. I think the spirit is involved in a lot more than we are. Realize, for instance, insecurity. I used to think that was just like a moment of weakness. And be confident, Megan. You know, if you feel insecure when you walk into just anything. Right. I mean, think of anywhere you walk in where you feel insecure. Here's. What if it's the spirit going, I'm not gonna let you find security there. Well, like, what if insecurity is a gift? I know that sounds nuts, but what if he's like, perspective. Yeah. I'M not gonna let you find security in how you look. That's not gonna be all that secure. I'm not gonna let you find security in your weight. It's not gonna be all that secure.

Ang (39:05)

Wow.

Megan Fate Marshman (39:05)

I'm not gonna let you find security in your job because it's not gonna sustain you. Like, so I think he communicates through surprising ways like that, but I think he also communicates in surprising ways through our body.

Ang (39:16)

Wow.

Megan Fate Marshman (39:17)

I need.

Ari (39:17)

What do you mean by that?

Megan Fate Marshman (39:18)

Yeah, I've been studying the body lately because I'm like, he gave us a body, and. And new heavens, new Earth, we will have bodies. I somehow just. No one gave that sermon when I was little or they did, and I was drawing. So I've been thinking about the body, and I'm like, well, there's obvious signs, like when my kid throws up, what's his body communicating? Yeah, he's sick. He's sick, right? When I do that, I'm emotional, or maybe I'm a little sick. Like, our bodies are constantly communicating, but also our anxieties. I think rather than just shaming ourselves and our anxieties is going like, whoa. My body's trying to communicate that I'm not at peace. What a gift. Because how kind is the Lord? And I think about. Even his kindness is what leads us to repentance. How kind of the Lord to bring up stuff because he doesn't want us to live like that anymore. And he's so gentle and he's so kind. So if the voice you're hearing is not gentle and kind, I don't think it's the Lord.

Ang (40:10)

Definitely not.

Megan Fate Marshman (40:11)

But I do think there's truth that's trying to be communicated. I just think that we've limited the Holy Spirit quite a bit, and we could get on that conversation for a while. But what if he's really, as Romans 8 says, dwelling within longing, longing with us. He longs for every part of our heart to be his home. And so in his perfect time, I think it's really profound that he lets us see ourselves. Even the stuff that's not great. Like, with the perspective of the spirit wanting what's best and interceding on our behalf, it's interesting to go. So if in kindness, he lets me see something or pain or trigger, that brings me back to somewhere really hard, I know he's with me, and I know we could do something together there that's really powerful. But if I try to just not be affected, yeah, I feel like I'm not going on that journey. And I think, I think he's kind and gentle and he is, as Romans 8:28 going to use watch this all things for the good good of those who love him. And thanks be to God that all things that God uses to form us more into the likeness of Jesus. All things includes all things. If someone listening to this podcast would sit there on their drive or their run, proud of you, by the way, if you're running or wherever you're sitting from and just be there with him and wherever your mind goes to that thing for good. And then defines it again in Romans 8:29, when he says, for those of you who also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son, God's definition of

Ang (41:52)

on the days we don't feel our best, it's not always obvious. It's just like we're a little more tired, a little less clear, and a little less present. And it makes me realize how much the physical side of things actually affects everything else. We talk so much about showing up for God, for people, for our purpose, but our bodies are carrying all of that. And if that's off, you feel it. So we've been trying to be more mindful about the small things we do every day just to support our body in a way that actually feels doable. And one of those things for us has been dose. It's just a two ounce shot that you take once a day and it supports your liver, which we didn't even realize is doing so, so much behind the scenes all the time. And we like it because it's simple. It's not another thing you have to think about or keep up with. It literally takes a second and it tastes like orange juice. So it's one of those small habits where we're like, okay, this actually feels sustainable. And we think that's the biggest thing, finding things that help you take care of yourself in a way that you'll actually stick to. Because when you feel better, even just a little, you show up differently. So if you're ready to honor your health and invest in your future self, try dose with code GGB. New customers can can save 35 off your first month of subscription by going to DueDaily Co GGB or entering GGB at checkout. That's D O S E D a I l y.co GGB for 35 off your first month subscription. All right, guys, I feel like discipline is one of those things that we talk so much about, but actually living it out is different because you can Want to take care of your body, you can intend to show up, but if you don't have a plan, it's really easy to fall off. And I've definitely had seasons like that where I'm going to the gym, I'm trying, but I'm just kind of piecing things together. And then you look up and you're like, why do I feel stuck? That's honestly what shifted for us when we started using the ladder app. It gave us so much structure. It's not random workouts. It's an actual strength training plan built by a coach and it builds week after week. So now when we show up, we already know what we're doing. No guessing, no overthinking. We can just be present and actually train. And it really does feel like having a coach in your ear walking you through every single set. And I think that's the difference. When you remove the guesswork, you can actually stay consistent. And consistency is what changes everything. And the fact that it's less than a dollar a day for that level of structure and guidance, it's honestly a no brainer. Remove the guesswork with ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. If you have an iPhone, head to Ladder Fit GGB and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use our link and get a free free 7 day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

Megan Fate Marshman (44:18)

Good is not to make our life more comfortable. Of course, loss does not make my life in any way more comfortable or happy. But you know what it does, man? If I let it, it forms me more into the likeness of Jesus. I've been more of a prayer warrior for my kids than ever in my entire life. And I believe I give that testimony to let someone else know. Like, he'll use your crap for good.

Ang (44:41)

Yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (44:41)

2. You do not have to be alone there.

Ang (44:45)

Oh, Lord, I'm not okay.

Ari (44:48)

The first time I saw Megan, it was at my church and she did a sermon on Psalm 139. And it changed the whole perspective of my prayer time. And I still hear your voice sometimes in my prayer time because you said something like, are you bitter? Tell him. Are you sad? Tell them. And so being able to get to that place of vulnerability with Jesus, that's why he says you must enter as a child. It's like I go back to a child where I can be open and honest and real. And I feel like it's. I've seen the wonders of God in that place. And then I just love how you went through Psalm 139. Because David, how real and honest and raw he was and how God, it's just so beautiful. So, so yeah, you just you. For anyone listening, please watch her sermon on Psalm 139. It literally changed everything. I, I remember sitting there, I listened to it twice. I sat there for the next service and I listened to you twice. Cuz it was that good.

Megan Fate Marshman (45:48)

Psalm 139 has been the passage I've sat in for the past few years. After I wrote Relaxed. I've gone on a little bit of a journey and that passage has really been the guiding place of my prayer life. So I love that that's affected your prayers because it deeply affected mine because it is a prayer. It is this really profound chapter of the Bible that's very famous at women's conferences because it has that one liner. You are fearfully, wonderfully made. Put it on a sweatshirt. And so everyone loves that chapter. Right. And I remember the first time I ever taught it, I taught through it. It's great because it's all about like God's unique distinct omni characteristics, his incommunicable attributes, the attributes that we cannot become. Like some of his attributes like love we can become. But his all knowing probably not gonna get there. He's all knowing, he's all powerful, he's the creator, he is ever present. Like these truths about God that David just seems to be listing out, listing out, listing out, listing out. But I find that psalm interesting in so many ways that we talk about it for hours. The beginning of it starts with Search my heart. The end of it ends with Search my heart. And it talks all about who God is. And then the scripture takes this little turn that the first time I taught it I just skipped because I didn't understand it. Yeah, basically like the, the. It's such a funny. I've got one. It's such a funny passage. In so many ways it reminds me a little bit of John. Remember how John in the book of John refers to himself as the one, you know, whom Jesus loves? Yeah. So it seems so arrogant until you really think about it like. Or is he utterly secure? Like, imagine introducing yourself like, oh, I know who I am. I'm the one who is secure in love. Like that sounds great. I see it in David too, where he's like, you created my inmost being. Psalm 113, I praise you. I'm fearfully, wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. Again, he's talking about himself. Your works, God, they're wonderful. Yeah, yeah. He's like. And then he says this. How interesting. I know that full well. Which makes me wonder, like, do we?

Ang (47:53)

Yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (47:54)

Then it was like my frame was not hidden. You saw my infern body. Precious. Precious to me are your thoughts. God, how vast is the sum of them. Where I count them, they don't number the grains of sand. When I wake, I'm still with you. Then it takes a left turn and it's this really sweet, seems chapter of the bible until verse 19. If only you, God would say, slay the wicked. What? Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty. They. And he kind of just goes off, and it feels random. It feels like it doesn't fit until you recognize this is the heart of David writing this chapter.

Ari (48:31)

Yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (48:31)

Which is what we're getting at this whole time. What. What's at the heart? David's mad. This whole chapter, surprisingly, is what's referred to as an imprecatory psalm. The token women's conference chapter of the Bible is a psalm of judgment and hatred and anger. What? And when you realize that this is what's at his heart, it makes you reread the entire thing again in a very different tone. So if he's angry, which, by the way, is not a topic we talk about a lot, and yet I think it's something we all have to deal with. Otherwise it just continues to explode to other cars on the freeway or the people we love the most. So if you realize at his heart what's coming up is anger, when you start at the beginning, it's like you've searched me and you know me. You. You know when I sit, when I rise, you know what this is doing in me. He's talking all about God, knowing God, you. You know how mad I am, how unfair this is. You. You know to a greater extent than I do. You know how this is affecting me. Then he goes like this. Where can I get away from you? Like, when he feels that utterly exposed, where can I go from. Where can I flee from it? You know, and you're with me. Then he gets to like. And you created me this way. And it's in that context, with a capacity to be mad and to not be okay with the brokenness of the world, that he says, you created me. Fearful and wonderfully made, and you created me like this, with a capacity to not be okay with the world as it is and also to not be okay with what's going on. In me. And this is what this Holy Spirit's doing in Romans 8, when he's like, we're longing for something better. Like that longing within us is not a bad longing. The problem is what we do to cope with it.

Ang (50:16)

Yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (50:17)

And here's what David models for us. We back to you. You tell him, if you are bored or you feel like an idiot when you read your Bible, tell him he's not going to meet you at a pretend spiritual, more spiritual version of yourself. He's going to only meet you right where you're at. And so if you want to meet with him, if you want to seek him and find him, it starts with honesty about. And I wonder even anyone listening in. There's a. In another chapter in the Psalms, Psalms 4, where he says, get on your bed and rage. Like, rage. We have to have a space for how God created us. And if we don't deal with it, it will harden us or it will leak out. And I think many of us, myself included, which is why I'm so obsessed with this. I need. And I like what anger is. Anger is like this really crazy emotion. It makes you feel powerful when you feel weak and sad. That's why anger just feels more accessible than just sitting sad. Like, it makes sense. And that's. I really want to let people know that anger really. I mean, it exposes what you value. It exposes what feels unsafe. It exposes like, that's not right. And there's so much of our life that is not right. And taking time to tell him, to voice to God, it's not right. And then you'll be pleasantly surprised to find him going, I know I'm doing something about it.

Ari (51:39)

So would that be kind of like when you are in that moment of grief? Because I'm sure there. There's moments where it just hits you so hard. What do you do in that moment? You just tell them, like, what is something, a practical thing that somebody can do when grief hits them so hard?

Megan Fate Marshman (51:55)

Yeah. Grief is being honest. It's like the one thing we can do with loss. I think madly. What I would just tell anyone is to grieve. I know that sounds so obvious. It's to let. This is a key term for me. Let it come. Let God comfort you. Let a friend comfort you. Let. And so here's why I say it feels. It almost feels too simple to say, oh, what are you doing? Grief. Oh, you actually have to grieve.

Ari (52:27)

No, it's true.

Megan Fate Marshman (52:28)

Because if you don't grieve, you'll get stuck. Stuck at whatever stage you tried to get out of the grief at. So you'll remain angry for a very long time. But I think this is the visual I want to give everyone, is to move from hands, fists. And I even wonder if anyone that's not driving would want to take their fists and just like squeeze them and go, like, what would I ask you to do in a moment of rage, sad, whatever negative emotion we termed it, negative emotions is to move from trying to find a way to control or navigate or fix to just open to let. So in grief, it would be whatever this posture feels like to you. Maybe it's fall on the ground and cry, blessed are those who mourn. They will be comforted. Or maybe it's I'm gonna let someone in. Or maybe it's I'm gonna tell God that I'm really not okay. Or it's, I'm gonna open to my friends who have been suggesting a certain therapist. And I just keep hearing the same name over and over.

Ang (53:22)

I don't like.

Megan Fate Marshman (53:23)

I just wonder. And it's hard to prescribe it.

Ari (53:26)

Yeah,

Ang (53:30)

I feel like all of us lately, we've just been trying to make better choices. Like, nothing extreme, just small things that actually make a difference, especially in the morning because mornings are so important and so many of us realize that we wake up and we go straight to coffee, not really eating anything and then wondering why we feel off later. So I think it's time we try to switch it up a little bit. Just starting our day with something that actually feels good. And that's honestly why we love Brodo. This podcast is sponsored by Brodo. Brodo's bone broth is the simplest nutrition upgrade you can make to your daily routine. It's bone broth made from scratch. No weird ingredients, no shortcuts, and it actually tastes really good. Brodo was launched by James Beard award winning chef Marco Canora 11 years ago. He started serving bone broth out of the window of his NYC rest restaurant. Now Brodo ships nationwide, so you don't have to be in New York City to enjoy Chef Marco's masterpiece. Our favorite right now from the sampler pack that Brodo sent us is the chicken bone broth. It's just simple, warm, and it feels like something your body actually wants. And it tastes incredible. And it's so easy, you just heat it up and you're getting about 10 grams of protein plus all these nutrients, all under 50 calories. And Brodo comes in eight delicious flavors, from classic chicken to the spicy Nona to more crazy blends like ginger, turmeric, herb infused or veggie based broths. I recommend trying their sampler pack shop the best broth on the planet with brodo. Head to Brodo.com GGB for 20 off your first subscription order and use code GGB for an additional $10 off. Once again, that's Brodo.com GGB for twenty off your first subscription and an additional ten dollars off if you use our promo code GGB.

Megan Fate Marshman (55:02)

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Ang (55:54)

Oh man, that is so good. I want to ask you. So you, you wrote a book called Relaxed and it is phenomenal. And like I said earlier, you just have a piece about you that is so special. I think sometimes, like the contrast between our energy at times, like, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And you're like, don't care. It's all good. Can you just. In a world where people are so debilitated by anxiety, people are paralyzed. Can you just talk to us about. Because I, I'm pretty sure you've studied anxiety spiritually, physically, psychologically. Can you just talk to us a little bit about anxiety and where you think Jesus meets us?

Megan Fate Marshman (56:37)

Sure. I would. I would just give the invitation. The entire book. Relaxed Walking with the one who's not Worried. It's the opposite of anxiety. Walking with the one who's not worried about a thing. The whole spine of the book is based off of an invitation from scripture that happens to be a lot of people's life verse, which is awesome. I love, love, love, love taking really famous verses and going, there's a reason they got famous. Yeah, let's understand it and let's open ourselves. And the reason I think I like the famous ones is because our pride tells us that we already know it. Yes.

Ang (57:12)

Wow.

Megan Fate Marshman (57:13)

So when you hear a verse, you're like, ah, my life verse. Or I love it, and it's great. I think sometimes your pride disables you from actually being able to receive it afresh. Because anytime you receive any gift, it requires humility. Right? So if someone, like, brings you a Christmas gift and you don't have one for them, you have that moment where you're like, yours is in the car, like, you know, like at home, in my garage that I'll get later when I get it. It will be better than yours. But what does it take for you to receive that gift is some level of humility. That's why we don't like not. Not not having something back, because we want it to match. We want to. We don't want to just receive something. And so in anxiety or anything. The simple, profound to me that I wrote an entire book on, not just letting people know this truth, but experience it is the invitation from the Lord, which man is like a full circle of this whole conversation, which is in Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, which says, say it with me. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and think about our conversation. Why with all of our heart? Because he's there and he's interceding on your behalf. And so why do we trust him? And it starts with getting honest. You don't trust him by being somewhere else. You trust him by telling him, I'm distracted. I want to want you more. I want to wake up earlier. I. I want to. And I know that I won't probably, like, help me. And there's a humility that's required in order to receive anything. And so trust the Lord with all your heart. Open yourself to humility. What do you do with anxiety? Again, back to the let. It's like this different posture. It's. I'm gonna let God fill in the blank as I trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean. Not on your own understanding. Which is why so many of us are anxious, is because we can't fully understand anything. Which is why prayer makes sense, because he does.

Ari (59:08)

Yeah, yeah.

Megan Fate Marshman (59:09)

Lean not on your own understanding. I mean, we say, I'm just trying to figure everything out. And it's, like, socially acceptable in Christian circles. And I'm like, I see it. I like a lot. I got you, girl. What if we were to go? What if you didn't just, like, Let the breath happen. Trust the Lord with all your heart. Not lean not on your understanding, in all your ways. Do what, Acknowledge or submit, depending on your translation, to Him. In other words, open it to him, and what will happen. He will direct your path. In that moment of anxiety, we need to let him guide. Of course. Right. By telling him, I'm so anxious. And I. When I turned in that book, I turned it into my editor, and she cut out a few lines that I actually put back in. She. The line was, take the time it literally takes. And I kept saying it, take the time it literally takes. And they're like, it's so redundant. I'm like, I know. But we won't take the time it literally takes to. At the end of this podcast, you have more information. Great. And that's what we want. And I know you have to take the time it literally takes to tell them. God, I'm so anxious. Oh, it's so good about honesty. God's only gonna meet you where you are, not where you're not. So we start there, and we trust him by even telling him, I don't trust you with my future. Because finally you're trusting him with where you're at. I love you.

Ang (60:39)

I think I have to go.

Megan Fate Marshman (60:42)

Where are you gonna go? I don't know.

Ang (60:48)

Yeah, I don't know. So special, and it's so important. Sorry, I'm just very tender right now. It's like the way that you break it down. What I love about you so much is you're never trying to come up with anything. And it is profound, everything that you're saying, but it's so, so simple.

Ari (61:08)

That's what I was just thinking, too.

Megan Fate Marshman (61:10)

It is. It's all the things we already know.

Ari (61:11)

It's just simple, digestible.

Megan Fate Marshman (61:14)

And I want to say another real thing before you go to wherever you're off to, is that this is like. Like this is God's word. It's God speaking. And so I hope by the end of this session, if you've sought to find God and opened your heart in humility to receive a gift that you could never return, which is his loving acceptance of you that's not just reserved for heaven. It's possible now as you expose, allow him to see you, and you trust him there.

Ari (61:48)

So beautiful, Meg.

Ang (61:50)

I feel like just so many people's hearts are so open right now. Would you want to just lead people to the Lord? If that answers anyone.

Megan Fate Marshman (61:56)

Yeah. Here we are, Lord. And I think of our wandering mind and how funny in the middle of the podcast when people might want to skip to the next episode. Lord, I pray that they wouldn't. And right now they would just let their mind wander and talk to you about that. I wonder, Lord, about where people are actually just really sad. Pray they would tell you, or maybe that they're confused or let down or angry. Search us, Lord. Know our heart. Test us. Yes. Know our anxious thoughts, which we know that you do. But like you said at the end of the sermon on the Mount, you want to know us. You want us to let you know where we're at. Lord, I pray even now, just put together a sentence, God, I'm so anxious about, and then tangibly ask for help. I imagine that just delights. I, I, I'm a mom, and I love when my little kid's like, can you help me? Especially with something I'm fully capable of. And friends, as you're going in prayer, God is fully captured, capable of absolutely anything. And, Lord, I pray that you would gift us with faith to believe and trust that your answers for good deform us more into your likeness. Have your way. Amen.

Ang (63:07)

Amen. Thank you, Jesus.

Ari (63:09)

Thank you, Megan, for being such examples.

Ang (63:11)

You are such a gift. We love you so much. Thank you. Thank you for six years ago and thank you for today. What a full circle moment.

Megan Fate Marshman (63:21)

So crazy.

Ang (63:22)

Thank you.

Ari (63:23)

Thank you, Meg. You are such an example for us. We can't thank you enough. This is one of our favorite episodes today.

Ang (63:29)

Oh, please.

Ari (63:30)

I am, like, rocked right now. Thank you. That was from the bottom of our hearts. Just ministered to all of us so much. Thank you.

Megan Fate Marshman (63:40)

It's fun. Last thing I'd say is there's one little accountability I have for myself before I share anything, and it changes how I even receive your feedback right now. I won't share anything that hasn't genuinely changed my life first. And so as you're like, oh, thank you. I'm like, oh, God, you did it again. But it's like, I can take it as like a. Oh, he just started with me. How cool. And so for anyone listening in, like, it's beautiful to let God do things in us because inevitably, it's never going to stop with us. Yeah. What a gift. Great to see it affect someone else.

Ang (64:06)

Thank you. Thank you.

Megan Fate Marshman (64:07)

Thank you.

Ang (64:08)

All right, guys. We love you so much. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face face towards you and give you peace. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom.

Megan Fate Marshman (64:19)

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