We're Back Baby | Girls Gone Bible

Summary

Girls Gone Bible – "We're Back Baby | Girls Gone Bible"

Podcast Hosts: Angela Halili and Arielle Reitsma
Date: March 13, 2026
Episode Summary:
Angela and Ari are back from their first extended break in three years. This episode blends lighthearted nostalgia with deep reflections on suffering, grief, and healing through faith in Jesus. The hosts candidly share personal struggles, the evolution of their friendship, insights into Christian discipline, and encourage listeners to remain anchored in faith and community even in the hardest seasons.

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Episode Theme: Return, Realness, and the Journey Through Suffering

The main theme is the girls' return after a month-long hiatus—an honest conversation about where they’ve been, the personal and spiritual challenges they've faced, and how Jesus remains central to healing. They discuss friendship, changes in seasons, and letting go of the pressure to perform during hardship, hoping to encourage others going through similar valleys.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nostalgia Kick-Off & Friendship Banter

• Childhood Memories:
  • Reliving 2000s moments (Pop-Tarts, MTV Jams, brown sugar eyeliner, sidekicks, and mall trips).
  • Arielle: “Those were the days. If I could go back to high school…I would enjoy those moments so much more.” (01:41)
  • Fun chat about makeup routines, morning rituals, and high school days.
• Lightheartedness & Laughter:
  • Candid stories about skipping classes and the old-school gadgets.
  • "I was a bad boy." — Angela joking about her rebel student phase (04:29)
• Transition: The warmth of nostalgia sets up a contrast for deeper conversations.

2. Life Updates – Grief and Growing Through Hardship

• Angela’s Breakup and Healing:
  • Shares how a recent breakup led her into a vulnerable place of grief and transformation.
  • Chose not to reveal all details earlier—felt God's covering:
    • “You don’t need to expose this right now. I want to cover you as you heal.” (16:56)
  • The loss has “changed the way that I approach mental health and faith forever.” (16:59)
• Raw Honesty About Suffering:
  • “Having a brain that actively has been working against everything I know about faith has been really confusing.” — Angela (18:01)
  • Discussing the illusion that, after an initial radical encounter with Jesus, you're "good forever."
  • Suffering as a Christian:
    • “The invitation in being a Christian is not come, have a good life. It’s come and die. And there is always resurrection on the other side.” (21:16)
    • Quotes Kathryn Kuhlman: “Every day I die a thousand deaths.” (21:54)
• Spiritual Practice in Grief:
  • “Showing up every day is what changes everything...even when it’s painful, even when it’s hard, eventually the clouds do part.” (19:09)
  • Arielle identifies with Angela’s journey, relating it to her own experience with heartbreak and growing closer to Jesus through pain.

3. Spiritual Discipline: Childlike Dependence and Communion

• Job and the Bible as a Guide:
  • Arielle: “True faith is you never stop having those conversations...Even if it’s crawling on your hands and knees.” (27:24)
• Angela’s Communion Routine:
  • Takes holy communion almost daily:
    • “Communion is like the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is within that communion.” (29:00)
    • Reflects on the symbolism and power in the broken body and spilled blood of Jesus, which brings real spiritual healing:
      • “I'll never forget this time in my life because it's opened me up to the depths of the heart of Jesus and the reality of the cross in a way that I could have never experienced.” (31:18)
• Practical Encouragements:
  • “All you did was bring your numbness and your nervous system...to Jesus, you did enough.” — Ari (35:14)
  • “It gets better...The clouds will part, the sun will come out.” — Angela (36:12)

4. Community, Friendship, and the Evolution of Relationships

• Importance of Friendship:
  • Both acknowledge how crucial community and godly friendships are in the healing process.
  • Arielle reflects on isolation during hardship and how hard it can be to step out again:
    • “No one talks about how hard it is...to put makeup on your face and get out there again.” (38:00)
• Addressing Listener Speculation:
  • Discuss public concern over their friendship during the hiatus:
    • “Our friendship has evolved and changed and shifted, and we’ve walked through a lot. Just like every friendship and every relationship ever has and ever will.” — Angela (41:05)
    • They live further apart, don’t see each other as frequently; assure listeners that this is normal.
    • “This was really built on our friendship and Jesus.” — Ari (43:35)

5. Spiritual Takeaways on Suffering & Faith

• Suffering is Not Sent to Kill You:
  • Angela recounts a sermon interpretation of Job: God allows suffering but not more than His children can bear. (39:14)
  • “Who you are in the suffering…You can have moments throughout healing or pain or suffering. You just can’t stay there.” (39:37)
• How to Move Forward:
  • “Only focus on today…All I need to get through is this moment.” — Angela (37:13)
  • Consistent encouragement to stay close to Jesus and immerse in scripture, no matter how imperfectly.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Having a brain that actively has been working against everything I know about faith has been really confusing.” — Angela (18:01)
• “The invitation in being a Christian is not come, have a good life. It’s come and die.” — Angela (21:16)
• “True faith is you never stop having those conversations...Even if it’s crawling on your hands and knees.” — Ari (27:24)
• “Communion is like the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is within that communion.” — Angela (29:00)
• “Only focus on today…All I need to get through is this moment.” — Angela (37:13)
• “Who you are in the suffering…You can have moments throughout healing or pain or suffering. You just can’t stay there.” — Angela (39:37)
• “This was really built on our friendship and Jesus.” — Ari (43:35)
• “We love you, and everything’s going to be good. Go read the Bible. Go spend time with Jesus. Get back to the basics. You know what to do.” — Angela (44:28)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Nostalgia and High School Memories: 01:29 – 09:00
• Catching Up: Sickness, Pills, and Cooking: 10:05 – 13:09
• Angela’s Breakup and Grief: 15:30 – 26:19
• Spiritual Discipline, Job, and Communion: 26:19 – 32:25
• Support, Rest, and Practical Healing: 32:25 – 37:49
• On Friendship and Public Rumors: 41:05 – 44:28
• Closing Blessings and Encouragement: 44:28 – end

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Tone & Style

Angela and Ari keep it raw, heartfelt, and sometimes hilarious—balancing serious faith-filled wisdom with lighthearted sisterly energy. Theirs is a tone of vulnerability, encouragement, and genuine love for their listeners and each other.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a compassionate walk through the reality of Christian suffering, the quiet heroism of just getting through daily grief, and the beauty of faith and supportive friendships. Angela and Ari remind listeners that everyone’s journey is unique but anchored in Jesus, and every season—even the hardest—is an invitation to deeper union with Him.

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Call to Action from the Hosts:

• Spend time with Jesus, stay in community, and don’t shy away from being honest in your pain.
• “Go read the Bible. Go spend time with Jesus. Get back to the basics. You know what to do.” (44:28)
• Share how you’ve been doing and what episodes you want in the comments.

Blessing:
“May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Shalom.” — Angela and Ari (45:16–45:28)

Transcript

[Angela]

Foreign.

[Narrator]

Have you ever been in a relationship and kept having unwanted doubts like do I love them enough? Am I really happy? What if God has someone better for me? And those questions felt impossible to ignore. And suddenly you're repeatedly praying for certainty or signs, constantly comparing your relationship to others, asking friends what they think over and over. But you can't find peace no matter what you try. Unwanted relationship doubts can feel so, so real and scary. But here's what's important to know. Thoughts like these can be a sign of relationship ocd. Unlike the stereotypes about being organized, real OCD is a serious condition that can latch onto anything we care about. Relationship OCD creates this never ending loop of doubt anxiety followed by behaviors you

[Angela]

do to try to feel better.

[Narrator]

But the relief never lasts. But OCD doesn't have to take over your relationships because it's highly treatable with

[Angela]

a type of specialized therapy called Exposure

[Narrator]

Exposure and Response Prevention or erp. And that's why we're so excited to tell you about nocd. NOCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed Therapists specialize in ERP therapy with no CD is 100 virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes on support between sessions. Their therapists are extensively trained, deeply understanding and ready to help you reclaim your relationships. If any of this sounds like you or someone you care about, visit nocd.com and book a free 15 minute call to learn more about how NOCD can help. That's nd.com what is going on?

[Ari]

No, I saved this tik tok. It says, it says it's 2007 6:45am you just had your brown sugar cinnamon pop tart for breakfast and MTV Jams is on before school.

[Angela]

Those were the days. You know this was like we did not appreciate those days enough. No, I if I could go back. If I could go back to high school I like barely went to school but if I could go back to high school I would enjoy those moments so much more. Like watching MTV before school, getting up

[Ari]

at 6am having the iron ready to iron my hair to do the zigzag part, gelled the hair.

[Angela]

I would wear eyeliner so dark a full face of foundation full in 9th

[Ari]

grade they used to make fun of me cause of how much makeup. Some of these haven't changed because they still do on GGB for us.

[Angela]

Hey guys, come on. I think we've definitely lightened it up on the makeup.

[Ari]

Would you say we have? Huh?

[Angela]

Maybe not actually.

[Ari]

Well no because on camera, you have to wear more.

[Angela]

True. Thank you for saying that. I know people love when we talk about makeup.

[Ari]

Okay, what was like, if you could go back to one thing back then, what would it be like? What was like a core nostalgic memory.

[Angela]

Okay. I don't know if I have a cornisalgic memory again. I didn't really go to high school. I. I mean, I went. Guys, I would. I don't know if ever to hold this, but.

[Ari]

Did you drop out?

[Angela]

No, I didn't drop out. I graduated. I have dreams still all the time that I don't. That I didn't graduate high school. Because in real life, I was in 12th grade and I was passing all my classes. I was getting good grades. But first period was economics, and you had one credit of economics. That. Is it economics? No, not economics. What is the class about? Money.

[Ari]

I didn't. We didn't have that. Weymouth High. They didn't do that.

[Angela]

Okay. Okay.

[Ari]

That's pretty cool that that's what they should be saying.

[Angela]

Well, yeah, I think it was economics. Guys, tell me, is that the class that's about money? It was the one. You only have one credit of economics, and you have to pass it to graduate high school.

[Ari]

Did you go to some private school or something? They didn't do this in public schools.

[Angela]

I went to two different public schools. I was bouncing around. I was like. But it was first period in 12th grade, and I missed first period every single day, obviously, because I had things to do. Like, what was. I wasn't waking up early. I needed to get a coffee. I needed to take my time. I usually would get to school at around third period every day. Yeah, I don't know how.

[Ari]

And then at, like, noon.

[Angela]

Yeah, I would. I would. And then my. I was in, like, three theater classes, and my teacher would get so mad at me and be like, angela, you. You can't skip every class but just come to theater classes. And I'm like, I don't want to go to school.

[Ari]

Did you always get the role?

[Angela]

No, I never got a role. She never gave me a role because I couldn't sing. And I just think I was like, not.

[Ari]

You were a bad boy.

[Angela]

I was. I was a bad boy.

[Ari]

You were bad, bad, bad boy.

[Angela]

But economics, I don't know how I pass because I never went. I actually think my teacher let me pass because he liked me and we were kind of homies. No, not in a weird way.

[Ari]

He was just my friend getting weirder and weirder. Was he involved In Epstein.

[Angela]

What?

[Ari]

I don't even remember. I had some diddlers at my school, though.

[Angela]

You had some diddlers at your high

[Ari]

school, so, yeah, some diddle. Some diddle bum teachers.

[Angela]

Ariel, we have to get it together. No, we. We got to take him down.

[Ari]

I know.

[Angela]

I don't.

[Ari]

He was a creep. He was a real creep, man.

[Angela]

What is going on?

[Ari]

He was so creepy, man.

[Angela]

Creepy man.

[Ari]

He was a creepy man. I should find out if he still works at that school. Yeah, like crazy. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna be with my kids. I'm not letting my kids sleep at anyone's houses.

[Angela]

I'm never letting my kids sleep at other people's houses.

[Ari]

Yeah, anyways. So go ahead.

[Angela]

Anyways, so I was in my cap and gown at graduation. I'm putting my leg up. My leggings are backwards, and that's where we're at today. Like, my leggings, I put them on backwards and I saw it and I didn't care, and I left the house. So I'm in my cap and gown at graduation. My whole family is there. I'm waiting in line going, I don't know if they're going to call my name. I don't know if I'm graduating because I know I failed economics. I know that I didn't go to that class. I did not take. I, like, took two tests and failed them both because I didn't know what was on the test. Anyways, I am not advocating for not going to school. School is so important. The reason I say this, two things, I constantly have dreams that I'm in my cap and gown with my family there, and I'm not graduating. It's torturous. And then the other thing I was going to say, to answer your question, if I could go back to high school, for one thing, it would be to go to my history classes and actually learn. Because now I care so much about history. I care so much about the state of the world and war and, you

[Ari]

know, you can watch. Watch a little news. We don't. We don't be put in the. Ari.

[Angela]

Every week goes. You get a kick every week. And she, like, calls me so mad at me, going, angela, we have to watch the news.

[Ari]

And I'm like, okay, put on the news, baby. We don't need. No, you want to learn about, like, George Washington.

[Angela]

George. Like, I don't know why I can

[Ari]

like him in the morning time.

[Angela]

Me too.

[Ari]

Like, really? That's why I could never live in the South. It's just like an absolute no go. Oh, and what?

[Angela]

You have never. Hang on. You have never. Oh, and me. What did I say?

[Ari]

My one moment to be smart. Wait, you know that they don't have beaches in the south though, like Florida? Well, no. Well, yes. Actually, I just found out that Florida is considered the south. I thought it was the east coast because it's only.

[Angela]

I would call it the. I call. I would just say Florida's more the east coast.

[Ari]

I'm talking about like Austin and Nashville.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Ari]

We can't be doing that because we're not living on a lake.

[Angela]

No. What are you. Are you guys beach people or lake people? What's more important to you?

[Ari]

Oh, I'm just like, I need the ocean. It's all healing,

[Angela]

so healing. Healing.

[Ari]

Okay. Can you ask me.

[Angela]

Oh, I'm so sorry. What is your core memory? I'm sorry, R. What's your core memory?

[Ari]

Okay, here's mine. I have a couple. But the first thing that comes to my mind is remember those little. What is it called? The. Oh, hold on.

[Angela]

I need you to explain it first before you ask me what it's called.

[Ari]

I know. I always do this. Huh? What is the word? The. The phones that.

[Angela]

The sidekick.

[Ari]

The sidekick.

[Angela]

Sidekicks.

[Ari]

The Sidekicks. And the. And so every time you would call me, it would be like Gucci mang or like Usher. It would be like a song. And you'd be like, I can't come to the phone right now, you know, and I miss the sidekicks. And then the Nokias with the beep beep. And so you'd have like a little walkie talkie and you'd be like, what's up? You don't remember that?

[Angela]

No.

[Ari]

It's not in your era. You don't remember the Nokias? Do you remember the Nokias?

[Angela]

I don't.

[Ari]

I just miss like going to the movie like every weekend. It would be like the movies of the mall.

[Angela]

Movies of the mall?

[Ari]

Your little Abercrombie low rise jeans. I couldn't afford Abercrombie, so I'd get the. The Abercrombie at Marshalls.

[Angela]

Love.

[Ari]

Yeah, You.

[Angela]

We love a good Marshalls.

[Ari]

I still go to Marshalls. It's like my place.

[Angela]

Marshalls is amazing. Home goods is so expensive. Why not just go to Marshalls?

[Ari]

Home goods. Home goods sells furniture. No. Yes.

[Angela]

No, Home goods sells, like home decor.

[Ari]

Right.

[Angela]

And Marshall sells home decor.

[Ari]

Oh, I'm talking about clothing.

[Angela]

Sorry. I'm so sorry.

[Ari]

Anyways, so. Yeah. Miss all that.

[Angela]

Well, we can recreate it now the two.

[Ari]

The old music.

[Angela]

The old music.

[Ari]

The jams. Ashanti.

[Angela]

Ashanti.

[Ari]

How do you sing? Foolish. See my days ago without you But I'm learning how to deal you and

[Angela]

in my heart can take no more

[Ari]

I can't keep running back to you Anyways.

[Angela]

Anyways, that was fun.

[Ari]

That was fun, guys.

[Angela]

I just want everyone to know. I'm so sick again. I'm so mad. Who got me sick?

[Ari]

What. What is it now? Like, what is it?

[Angela]

I just have a cold.

[Ari]

I just.

[Angela]

A little.

[Ari]

I was telling Ange I don't swallow pills. So it's like. I just, like, have been avoiding vitamins for years. Finally, I learned how to take a pill. Which you learned. You just bend over like this. You put it in your mouth. It goes right down. I've always needed, like, a friend to be in the room when I have to swallow a pill.

[Angela]

It's something I've never seen in my life. Like, she convulses as she has to take a pills.

[Ari]

I'm stuck right here. I'm like. I can't breathe. Anyways, finally learned how to swallow pills. I'm on day three of taking. I take, like, eight vitamins a day.

[Angela]

Wow.

[Ari]

And I don't know if it's, like, psychological all in my head, but I'm feeling like my brain's more clear.

[Angela]

Love.

[Ari]

I'm feeling good. Feel good.

[Angela]

I love that.

[Ari]

But it's so important to take vitamins. I can't believe I'm just now taking them. Yeah, you've been taking them.

[Angela]

I feel like I take vitamins on and off. Like, I always have them right there. But then I forget for three weeks, and then I'll take them again. But I take, like, an omega, a multivitamin. I take some stuff from my brain.

[Ari]

That's probably why my pills.

[Angela]

See, I love. I love. I love, like, brain pills. They're so good for you.

[Ari]

Yeah. I should have been taking them with all the brain fog I cultivated through what I went through.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

I'm telling you, when you go through something so traumatizing. Yeah. And so on, your nervous system, you. You have, like, such brain fog. It's so detrimental to your brain.

[Angela]

It's so true.

[Ari]

Another thing that's happened in my life lately, I've taken on cooking.

[Angela]

No.

[Ari]

Yes.

[Angela]

No.

[Ari]

Listen to me, Linda. Listen, Linda. What does linden mean again?

[Angela]

Nothing. Well, I mean, it means pretty in Spanish, but.

[Ari]

Oh, listen, Linda.

[Angela]

Listen, Linda. Listen. It's a video.

[Ari]

I. So during our time off, I really just started to cook meals.

[Angela]

Good for you.

[Ari]

And I am obsessed. It is my new thing. It's my passion. Never been a cooker. I have, it has become so therapeutic. So I know I talk about this a lot, but I have pcos and it's probably, I probably don't take care of it the best of my ability. So I love sweets and I love to go to dinners, but even at nice restaurants, we don't know really what they're cooking with. So I started, during our time off, I would just make like, I would look up recipes and I started making them and I actually love that. I got so good at it and now it's just become like my little therapy. And every day I'll look up a new recipe on Pinterest. And I started baking and I feel so good.

[Angela]

That's so fun.

[Ari]

I'm making smoothies in the morning. I mean, I used to wake up every day, go get a smoothie, get lunch, and it's like. And I think it's good to like, to even a girlfriend told me, she was like, before I became a wife, I started to prepare to be a wife. And so I would start like looking up recipes and cook by myself and with my mom. And I was like, that is so good. Like, that's such a good insight. Because I'm like, yeah, because when I get married, I want to know how to cook meals and like be able to do that. And so why not do it now before I'm married?

[Angela]

Dude, that is so Proverbs 31, it's insane.

[Ari]

I'm like a little Proverbs 31, preparing, not feeding the goats in the morning.

[Angela]

But anyways. Hi guys, I'm Ang. And I'm Ari and this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith based this podcast where we talk all things spirituality, mental health, the Bible. But everything we talk about is rooted in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are a Christian podcast where we are on a journey with you guys. Going through life, moving through joy and pain and suffering and the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Coming back to one thing, all of us, we all are living our very own lives, going through our own situations. All of our journeys are so unique, but we all are anchored in the very same thing and that is the death, the burial and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I think that's so important to say. We have a lot to talk about today, you guys. We've been gone for a little while and you guys want to know what's up and we're gonna tell you what's up. And we just want you to know we're so happy to be with you guys. We missed you. We missed filming. We missed feeling connected to you. I think it definitely shows us when we take time off, like, how deeply connected we are to all of you. Even though taking time off was the best thing we could have done for ourselves, like, we truly missed you guys so, so, so much.

[Ari]

Yeah, I think that's. I said that too early. I was like, I know this is our purpose. Because even though it was so nice to rest, all I could think about was just being back here with you and, like, with them. And it's just. I've missed it so much. And it's so good to be back here. It's so good to be back. I can't believe we took one month off.

[Angela]

That's the first time in three years that we've taken that much time off.

[Ari]

We took Christmas, but that was the first time.

[Angela]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys, we're just gonna get into it. We're just gonna talk to you like BFFs. We have so much to talk about. Where do we start? Ari and I have been walking really interesting journeys, both of us individually at times, together. The first thing that we want to let you guys know about is something that I've been walking through recently. I've been through a. And this is something that I would have loved to keep private because it is such, like, a private situation. However, because you guys are people, and I've let you guys in on that quite a bit, I'll just say this about the situation. We loved each other very much, and we tried so hard to make our relationship work, and it just ultimately didn't work, and that sucks. And it's been a really interesting journey that I've had to go on. Something that I will be letting you guys in on as time goes on is just the process of grief and what that's like. And as I come on here today, I have to say, like, I don't have some big, beautiful message on grief and loss and how to walk through that, because I'm just. Just stumbling through it as I go. Ari and I filmed kind of early on into the process, and I, like, mentioned it, and I. As I was editing that episode on a Thursday before releasing it the next day, I just felt the Lord be like, you don't need to expose this right now. Like, I want to cover you as you heal. And I felt this, like, really intense covering of Jesus, like, just being like, you don't need to do this. In front of people. This doesn't need to be exposed. Exposed. This is just for you. Vulnerability is amazing, but, like, you don't need to exploit yourself and. And your process. And I was like, absolutely. And so it's been a journey, you guys. And what I'll say about it is something that I'm so grateful for is the fact that this situation has changed the way that I approach mental health and faith forever.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

I've been reflecting so much on the past few years of the podcast and the ways in which we've approached mental health, and not saying that I go back on it. I just have new perspective that I'm really grateful for. Because, you know, my journey with Jesus was I was in a really bad place, really bad mental health, and literally supernaturally, Jesus began to heal me from the inside out. Scripture renewed my mind. I had, like, the most beautiful romance with Jesus where, like, he swooped in, rescued me. And I think that's a lot of people's story when they first meet Jesus. It's this, like, radical, incredible. You've never experienced anything like this before. And so as I've gone throughout my journey following Jesus, I've experienced periods of suffering, and I remember being saved and what that was like. And I think this has been an interesting process because I'm like. I'm like a warrior in the spirit. Like, I'm strong. I don't. And it's. It's been interesting to find myself in the pit. Healing is insane. Having a brain that actively has been working against everything I know about faith has been really confusing.

[Ari]

What does that look like again?

[Angela]

I think we have such an emphasis on, like, the radical of healing of Jesus when he first finds you, and it's this, like, incredible honeymoon thing, and you think you're gonna be good forever. And, like, I was healed from anxiety. I was healed from panic attacks. I was healed from ocd. I'm battling lots of ocd. I will say that showing up every day is what changes everything. Showing up, spending time with Jesus, even when it's painful, even when it's hard, eventually the clouds do part. That's what I've learned, that you might not notice immediately what's happening, but eventually it feels like I showed up every single day in that morning, taking communion, doing the things that I knew I was supposed to do, even though I didn't want to do them. And it's like all of a sudden, you show up one day and you can see Jesus face again. And I'm continuing to heal. My mind is Healing. I thank you, Jesus. I've turned a corner a while ago, and it's been a lot different than it was. But I have to totally admit that it was not good and pretty scary. And the heart, one of the hardest things I've ever been through. And, yeah, I think I've had moments with Jesus where I've been really mad.

[Ari]

Talk about that.

[Angela]

I think I probably had a sort of arrogance to, like, I talk about suffering so much. I have a theology around suffering. It's like the one thing that I encourage people with. It's the one thing that I actually am like, no, no, suffering is good. Suffering is good. That's where Jesus is formed within you, is through the suffering and through the fire. But I realized through the situation, I probably had a little bit of an arrogance of, like, I've paid my dues with suffering. You know, I've been through enough.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And so that's been confusing. And the truth is, in really intense situations like that and anybody else who's gone through anything, loss, tragedy, whatever it might be, what I've realized more than anything is that, like, picking up your cross, denying yourself, following Jesus. The invitation in being a Christian is not come, have a good life. It's come and die. And there is always resurrection on the other side. And this isn't like some cheesy. Like, this is genuinely, this is life. Like, this is life as a Christian. It is constant deaths. Kathryn Kuhlman says every day. Says. She said, every day I die a thousand deaths. And there's a version of Ange in the. In the situation that died. And since then, I've been dying a thousand deaths every single day. And I hope that this situation breaks every bit of idolatry that anybody could have about me or Ari, about our lives. I mean, we tell you guys every day that we are just like you. And that's absolutely the truth. And any leader, pastor, preacher, speaker, any famous, like, everybody walks through the same sort of thing. Everybody has to go on their own journey. Everybody has to continuously face situations that force them to die. And that sounds scary, but it is a good thing. It really is. And it never feels like it in the moment. So, yeah, the last month specifically has been my most glorious time with Jesus. I mean, I've been spending. Praise God, for the last month that we had off, I've been spending days, like, when I say days with Jesus, I mean, like, days where I'm like, I'm not doing anything except laying on the floor and you're gonna love me, and we're just gonna sit to get, like, days.

[Ari]

Walk us through that, what that looks like, because I'm sure so many people that are going through broken hearts. Yeah, it's like, it looks different. Your intimacy. Right.

[Angela]

Oh, my gosh. It's just like, you have to give yourself grace. This is what I've learned. I don't want to give myself grace. I want to overcome immediately what this situation has taught me the most. Like, I have spent so much time being a strong version. Like, any bit of false confidence, freaking arrogance, performance is dead. Specifically, the last month, I have never felt more like a daughter who didn't need to be anything, you know, or perform. I felt the Lord literally the whole month being like, it's just been amazing to go into the secret place and not ask him for anything that I can go and offer to, like. It's just been so good for me to be like, I'm not here for anything else except for me and you. And so there's just. In this season, there's just no performance. I don't want to be anything. I don't want to be anybody. I'm showing up as I am, which is messy. As he double hockey sticks. Can I say that?

[Ari]

H e double hockey sticks. Am I, like. Am I, like, brain dead? What does that mean?

[Angela]

As hell.

[Ari]

Oh, my God. H e double.

[Angela]

H e double hockey. Yeah.

[Ari]

Okay.

[Angela]

Oh, great. My makeup. No. H e double hockey sticks. No, seriously, guys. Grief is a. It's also a word.

[Ari]

I can't say

[Angela]

it's insane, but there's so, like, this is life. This is life, and it's so messy, and it's so hard. And as I go along this journey, I'm learning so much about myself and so much about Jesus. I'm looking at things I never would have looked at before, and these are the most humbling times of your life. You have to look at suffering as means to be truly humbled. And that's what I feel in the season. So anyways, I say all that to say it's been he double hockey sticks, and we've turned a corner, praise God. And it's gonna be a journey and a process, and I'll let you guys into as much as I feel led to, which will probably be everything.

[Ari]

But I know we talk about spiritual discipline so much, but I always say, like, the real spiritual discipline is when you can become, like, a little child and fall into the arms of God. That's why, like, when I was going through my breakup, I was obsessed with Job, and I cling to it so much.

[Angela]

Oh, I read through Job in this during this time. Yeah.

[Ari]

Oh, it's like you cling to it.

[Angela]

Because I couldn't wait to get to the end where God just gave him 42 chapters. I'm like, lord, why?

[Ari]

But if you, like, read through it, you see that he wasn't pretty in it. He kept fighting and saying, just, like, put me in the grave. I'm ready for death. And he would just fight and weep. And he went through so much, but he never stopped crying out to God. He never stopped having conversations with God. And I think that's what true faith is, right? It's like. It's messy. It's numbness. It's saying, I can't do it another day. It's like, getting out of bed and, like, barely being able to walk. And crawling. Like, Job, literally, it's accusing. It's getting mad. Like, you said it. God, like, I was mad at him. And it's like. And even as you were saying that, I was like. I remember my first episode when I shared my testimony, and you asked me that question because I was deep in my. In my suffering, and I said I hated him. And I remember as I went on my journey with Jesus, I dwelled a lot about what I said about him when I said in that first episode. And then as I kept on my journey, I realized that, like, that was nothing that God couldn't handle. And that's what Job did. He was angry. He hated, like, he went through so much. But true faith is you never stop having those conversations. You never stop being vulnerable. And that intimacy with Jesus, you can be mad, you can fight, but you keep doing it exactly. Even if it's crawling on your hands and knees.

[Angela]

I love that. I love that. I love that you bring up Job, too, because it's such a good. It's just such a good picture of the wrestle.

[Ari]

The wrestle.

[Angela]

Something that I've been doing every day. Communion is like. Communion is everything. Holy communion. I have communion cups. Maybe there's controversy around that, but I have a big bowl of communion that's in my living room, and I take communion almost every single day. And there is true healing within the body and blood of Jesus Christ. It's not just symbolism. Communion is like the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is within that communion. And when you take communion, you are entering into union with him. Oneness. And it is literally. I just think it's important because this has been so crucial for me the last few months is when I feel nothing or I feel too much or I. All the things like, this has been such a grounding, healing thing for me. And I know that it's not just symbolically healing me. It is truly spiritually. Something is taking place. I take communion, and I hold the body, and I just want to walk you guys through what my journey is like with that, because it is. Everything that we walk through comes back to what Jesus did. Jesus's body, I always look at it, and I always think about the fact that his body was broken and bruised and torn apart. So much so that Scripture says that he wouldn't have even been recognizable as a person. That body that was broken, everything that is broken me or that is broken within me, Jesus broke on his own body.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And I break that bread as, like, a testament to, like, whatever's in me that's broken me is broken on the cross. Like, Jesus already took it. And I take communion, and then I look at the blood, and I'm like, this is such a huge deal. And I think what's been so crucial for me the last few months is looking at that blood and knowing that every drop was not in vain. And I tell that to Jesus, that what I'm going through right now and what everybody in the world is facing and going through, this is the reason why your blood was spilled. And I tell him over and over again that it was not in vain, you know, and it's been. Sorry to cry about that, guys. It's just so tender to me, because it's like. It's literally why he died, because he knew. He knew that his body was our only means for healing. And I'll never forget this time in my life because it's opened me up to the depths of the heart of Jesus and the reality of the cross in a way that I could have never experienced. So I say all that to say, take communion every day and, like, declare that you are entering into oneness with Jesus. And it's been the most healing thing. And I love Jesus. And then also know there's, like, a really messy, dark, ugly part of everything that I'm going through. And that is like. Like, I've asked for. Like, I've needed help at times, and I've asked for it, and there's no shame in that whatsoever. It'll be a continual process of healing that I'll let you guys in on at times, and prayers would be so appreciated. And we're all walking through this together. And there's beauty from ashes. There really, really, really is. And praise God for Friends, it's pretty

[Ari]

cool to hear Friends, it's pretty cool to hear these little stories that you tell me. It's, like, so crazy because I just. It's like, I go. It's like I was there. Like, I go back into.

[Angela]

I just.

[Ari]

I understand and I hear you. And it's like these moments where it's so hard to even breathe or grasp the day and. But then you have these nuggets, like Job, where he. At the end, he was like, I saw you with my eyes. Like, I feel like as you were telling me that, like, these moments with God, you're, like, seeing him.

[Angela]

Exactly.

[Ari]

And I just. Like, I remember hearing. When I would hear people, like, oh, my gosh, I'm going through this horrendous breakup. I'm like, oh, no, no. I need to take the pain away from you. But now I'm just like, oh, something amazing is gonna happen. That's why even like, when we get messages from you guys and you're like, I can't take it. Like, I'm going through the first breakup, and I. And it's because of what I went through. I'm like, oh, get excited. Because, yeah, it's like, how were the most brutal days where you truly don't feel like you're going to survive end up being the most monumental moments of your life? And then it's like every day, like, even. I think we talk about it. Like, even if you get up one day and you brush your teeth and you just lay on your floor and you just cry out, like, each day is a step to healing more and more. It says Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed, take my life. I might die. I have had enough, Lord, he said, take my life. Like, when I read that, I was just like, that is so what we go through. Take my life. Like, I'm done. I can't take it anymore, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died. Then he laid down and said, slept under the broom tray. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, get up and eat. He looked around, and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a bar of water. So he ate and drank, and then he went back to bed. Then the angel of the Lord came up again and touched him and said, get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead for you will be too. Will be too much for you. So he got up again. He ate and drank, and the food gave to him Gave him enough strength to travel 40 days sometimes just resting, sleeping, getting up, washing your face, eating, and like. Like that. The story of Elijah shows us that sometimes we need to mourn and rest and cry. That's what we need. Like, we forget that that's what healing is. It's resting, it's getting up, it's eating. And like. Like. But I did nothing today. Well, if all you did was bring your numbness and your. Your. Your nervous system that you can barely even function to Jesus, you did enough.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Ari]

Like, you did enough.

[Angela]

So good.

[Ari]

No, I remember, like, looking on social media when I was in such a bad time and, like, seeing everyone live their life, and I just, like, could barely lift my head off my floor. And, like, when I look back at those times, like, I was healing, and it was like God was, like, strengthening me. And all through all those moments of, like, me on the floor and crying out and praying and, like, staying in when everybody was doing, like, that was me healing. And I look back and I'm like, I'm the woman I am today because of that refinement period. I didn't know that that was refinement at the moment when I was, like, dying on my floor, but it was because I kept crying out, I kept reaching out. I kept, like, reading the psalms. I kept just, like, laying and resting. And that is healing, and that's beautiful. And I'm really proud of you.

[Angela]

I love you. Yeah. And I'll just say to anybody who's going through a hard time, and I want you to truly, truly hear me, it gets better. It gets better. Every single day. You are one step closer. And it doesn't feel that way in the moment. You have to remember that no feeling is finally, the clouds will part, the sun will come out. It. One day it feels like it's all of a sudden, but really it's been happening gradually. You just can't see it yet. So I'm asking you to take heart, to keep strong, keep showing up in the secret place, keep reading the Word, even if you don't want to, keep doing the things that you know you're supposed to be doing. And it simply gets better. It has to. Like, that's literally the truth. It has to get better. And I know that firsthand. It gets better and easier. And your only job is to take things day by day. You don't need. Thank you, Jesus, that he writes. Like, don't worry about the worries of tomorrow. They have trouble of their own. Only focus on today. It is the hardest thing I'VE ever had to do is only focus on today. Because my brain does algebra all day long, figuring things out, worrying about tomorrow and. But it's continually the one thing that I come back to of, like, all I have is today. All I need to get through is this. This moment. Even 10 minutes from now, I don't need to think about. This is the only moment that matters. And that's been crucial for my healing. And I've done a lot of therapy, so. And again, thank God for friends. Friends are everything.

[Ari]

Can we talk about how crucial it is to have our. To be around friends? Yes. And how God really will provide you with friends. Oh, yeah.

[Angela]

And a good support. The best support. Yeah.

[Ari]

I had to re. Like, because there really are some people listening. Because I remember being so isolated when all my friends had moved and I was alone in that little doctor. You guys already know about my little studio apartment that I talk about with the squirrels. So I won't even go back there. But no one talks about how hard it is to, like, fight through and, like, put makeup on your face and, like, get out there again.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

So I just want to let you know, I hear you. It is so hard. I remember was so hard for me to just, like, get out and. And go to church and meet people. But God. God will give you the strength. He, like, it is true. He will give you the strength.

[Angela]

He does give you the strength.

[Ari]

He will. Yeah. Yeah.

[Angela]

And he doesn't send anything to K. The story of Job. Satan. Did you see Philip Anthony Mitchell say there was a video of him? I literally lost my mind. He was talking about the story of Job and how Satan went to God and said, like, basically, I'm going to take Job out and. And God said, you can basically torture him, hurt him, do whatever you want to him. You're just not allowed to kill him. So essentially, God is saying, like, do whatever you want, but I'm not going to give Job more than he can handle. That'll kill him. So everything we go through, sometimes we feel like it's going to kill us. It's not going to kill you.

[Ari]

No.

[Angela]

God will never. His children. He does not allow anything to truly take us out, but he does allow things to happen. And the whole point in Job getting tormented by Satan and God allowing it and essentially, like, encouraging it. Philip Anthony Mitchell was like, God is out here bragging on some people who don't turn against him during suffering.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Be one of the people that God can brag on. And it's so true. It's so, so true. Who you are in the suffering. And it doesn't mean we both have said it. We've blamed God, we've been mad at God, all the things we've doubted. But, like, you just don't stay in that place. And that's what it's all about. You can have moments throughout, like a healing process or pain or suffering. You just can't stay there. You can't land there. It's about where you land. It's okay if the process is messy, but where are you landing?

[Ari]

It's unbelievable what he does. It's like it's not even you fighting. God fights for you, and it hurt. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean that your mind doesn't friggin. Yeah, you know, but so true. You just. You thank him later for this.

[Angela]

He really pain.

[Ari]

You're like, thank you. It hurts so bad in the moment, but thank you for it. I can't believe this person I am today.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

Always.

[Angela]

Always. It's a tale as old as time.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

You just forget it when you're in it.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And then you're out of it and you're like, oh, it all makes sense. You know what I mean? Every time. Every time. So that's that. And now our next topic. All right, sisters and brothers, we had a lot of. What would you call it when we took some time off and we're walking through some things.

[Ari]

Yeah. A lot of speculations and comments and a lot of worries from you guys, which we totally understand. Yeah.

[Angela]

Yeah. I think something that's really important for me and Ari, for you guys to know is that our friendship has evolved and changed and shifted, and we've walked through a lot. Just like every friendship and every relationship ever has and ever will. We're talking about this. We're like, so much has changed. So much has changed. And I think people get really freaked out when they don't see us together or they see us hanging out with other people. And I think to us, it's a little bit like, that's a completely normal life. You know what I mean? And to other people, it can be just, like, really hard to understand. And I think what we want to say is that, like, our friendship has evolved and changed and shifted. And when we first came on the podcast, we literally had sleepovers every single night, every single day. We shared rooms when we were on hotel, like, in hotels. We did everything together. And now we don't even live near each other. We actually live further than People would imagine from each other. And so much has changed and our lives have evolved, and that's a. That's normal, you know, like, that's completely normal. And so we just want to break, like, this thing that people have that get freaked out if they don't see us together. You know what I mean? And it's been a little bit hard. Is like, speculation or rumors or people saying that we're splitting up for money because we took a month off. It's just like, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so crazy.

[Ari]

And, like, I think this is the first time, too, that we've ever. When you go through things, you usually, like, you go through it with your friends. You go. You, like, hash it out. You go through it. Yeah, but this is the first time that if you. If, like, we go through anything, it's like in the public.

[Angela]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Ari]

Yeah, that's pretty. We're in this for money. Yeah.

[Angela]

No, we split up for money.

[Ari]

Oh, gosh.

[Angela]

So sad.

[Ari]

You imagine.

[Angela]

I promise you one thing we won't split up over is money. We're both like, here, have it. Take it. Yeah. Could be a lot of things won't be that.

[Ari]

Yeah. No, listen, me and Ang are both humans that go through things, that are walking through things, just like you and just like you guys.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

And that's it. We're just. We're walking through things. Right. You know, and I think it's. I think something that's really beautiful to read, though, is the way you guys love us and our friendship. I think it's so incredibly special to read that. I think what's so beautiful about Girls gone Bible is that this was really built on our friendship and Jesus. And I think that so many people have been able to cultivate friendships because of the way you and I have loved each other. And it's beautiful. And. Yeah. So I think that's the core of GGB is friendship and love. And so I think it's so sweet how much you care about us and our friendship. But

[Angela]

to all the people that watch us and love us, GGB gang, we love you guys so much. It is so good to be back. It's good to be feeling better. Praise God. Praise God. Thank you, Jesus. We love you guys so much. And it's all good. It's all good. We're all on a journey together, and we love it here, and we love you guys so much, and we thank Jesus for you and everything's going to be good. Go read the Bible. Go spend time with Jesus. Get back to the basics. You know what to do. We love you guys so much.

[Ari]

Love you. And write in the comments what you guys have been going through. How's your heart feeling? Maybe even some episode topics.

[Angela]

Yes. Oh, I would love that.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And if you made it here, write Gigi, begin in the comments.

[Ari]

Gang, gang, gang, gang.

[Angela]

We love you guys so much. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace.

[Ari]

Shalom.

[Angela]

Shalom. I love you.