Podcast Summary: Girls Gotta Eat

Episode: A MasterClass in Sex Appeal with Shan Boodram and Jared Brady

Release Date: March 3, 2025
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine & Raina Greenberg
Guests: Shan Boodram (sex educator, author, MasterClass instructor), Jared Brady (cinematographer, musician, and Shan’s partner)

Episode Overview

This episode is a deep, candid, and often hilarious dive into sex appeal, seduction, and relationship dynamics, with special guests Shan Boodram and her partner Jared Brady. Shan shares insights from her new MasterClass “The Art of Sex Appeal,” covering how sexiness is learnable, real-world flirting tactics, the subtleties of desire, and managing passion through the seasons of a long-term relationship. The group also unpacks funny themes about lies told in dating, the realities of open relationships, and the challenges of keeping intimacy alive—sprinkled with signature GGE humor and lots of memorable one-liners.

Main Segments & Key Themes

1. Life Updates and Catching Up (00:00–13:25)

• Hosts discuss recent trips, plans for South by Southwest, and Raina’s upcoming "RainaPalooza" birthday.

  • Ashley talks about the anxiety of leaving her fiancé and dog for a trip.
  • “I feel like I can trust a man with a dog, not kids.” — Raina (01:27)
  • Discussions about hosting, event planning pressure, and the logistics of friend group invitations.

• The hilarity of trusting men with simple instructions.

  • Raina’s story about leaving Rob at her home and over-instructing him on how to lock up.
  • “He sent me a video of himself locking the front door...then forgot the gate.” — Raina (03:21)

2. The Funniest Lies Men Tell in Dating (13:25–25:50)

• Inspired by an Instagram prompt, the hosts and listeners share wild, cringey, and ridiculous lies men have told.

  • Overstating sexual prowess:

    • “She said she’s gonna be the best fuck of my whole life. And he was like, it was so bad.” — (14:38)
    • “Anyone who talks that big game is going to be mid.” — Ashley (15:24)

  • Alcohol disguised as pre-workout, faked birthdays, fake stories about dead ex-fiancés, or terminal illnesses.

  • “He told me he used to take the hot baking sheet out of the oven without an oven mitt. Let me see your hands. I’ll prove this right now.” — Ashley (18:49)

  • The hosts share their own most memorable dating lies and the satisfaction of “catching a lie,” including stories about Instagram stories gone awry and dramatic excuses to get out of dates.

• Memorable Quote:

  • “I’d live to catch someone in a lie. You can’t date me. I’m an FBI agent.” — Ashley (21:44)

3. Legendary Inside Joke—“All My Money Is in Equities” (22:04–25:44)

• The hosts share a running, years-long joke about a man's bizarre excuse:
  • “It was $400 to change [my flight] to Thursday, and all my money is tied up in equities.” (23:50)
  • This “uncrackable” quote has become a best-friend meme, symbolizing dubious dating excuses.

4. Introducing the Guests & Setting the Theme (28:53–31:36)

• Shan and Jared’s Relationship Origin Story:
  • From “booty call” to partners with two children.
  • “You know, just kind of slid in fboy style and then became a changed man.” — Jared (30:34)
  • The importance of loving your partner the way you wish to love yourself.

5. Open Conversations on Desire, Openness & Flirting (31:46–46:33)

• Discussing sexual fantasies, cultural icons (Gayle King & Oprah), and being flirtatious in public.

• The comfort with openness and non-monogamy—in theory and sometimes practice—amid family and work demands.

  • “We’re open to being open.” — Shan (56:25)
  • They enjoy the “freedom to explore,” but haven’t dove fully into the lifestyle due to time and logistics (especially after having kids).

• Flirting as a Muscle:

  • “Flirt with the TSA guy. You’re never going to see it...makes everyone’s experience better.” — Jared (45:01)
  • Encourage practicing low-stakes flirting to build confidence and presence.

6. MasterClass in Sex Appeal: Science, Practice, and Stripper Tips (38:09–61:32)

Sex Appeal as a Learnable Skill (38:09–39:14)

• Shan emphasizes sexiness isn’t innate—flirting and seduction can be taught and improved with practice.

Eye Contact, “Sexy Eye Triangle,” and Approachable Body Language (39:14–44:19)

• Specific tactics like “the sexy eye triangle”:
  • “Look somebody in the eye, drop your chin down, look at their body, then flick it back up.” — Shan (43:45)
  • Ashley: “You did it. I got turned on.” (42:46)
• Tips on making yourself open and engaging in social spaces.

Off-Kilter Touches & Physical Connection (35:03–36:54)

• Jared explains how “off-kilter”—unexpected or instinctive—touch keeps sex and flirting alive and fresh.

Practical Pickup & Stripper Protocols (50:45–55:59)

• Drawing on strippers’ real-life tactics:
  • Look for signals—are people shifting, primping, or giving inviting body language?
  • “Approach people who want to be approached.” — Shan (50:59)
• Use consent-based touch (“Your pants are cool, can I touch them?”).

Conversation Starters and “NBT: Never Be Typical” (60:38–62:34)

• Strippers’ advice: keep dialogue “dangerous, weird, rich”—talk about fantasies, sex, decadence, rather than routine or facts only.

7. Sexual Icons, Identity, and The Three Rivers Activity (76:09–81:16)

• The guests and hosts share their “sexual icons” (Sabrina Carpenter, Rihanna, Brad Pitt, Halle Berry).
• Shan’s “three rivers” activity:
  • Identify three ways you already embody sex appeal, often inspired by your icon.
  • “Similarity attraction theory says that we’re attracted to people who are just like us...a lot like your sexual icon.” — Shan (78:21)

8. Keeping Sex and Connection Alive for Couples (67:13–72:40)

• Structure and Routine vs. Spontaneity:

  • With kids and work, sex can become more scheduled, but that’s not necessarily negative.

• Dealing with Desire Fluctuations:

  • “Saying no to sex for a period of time...means the sex coming up is about to be really, really fire.” — Shan (70:31)
  • Normalize sexual “seasons” and don’t panic when things cool temporarily.

• Turn-On Triggers & Chore Play:

  • Different things get different people in the mood—direct language, sensuality, chores done, anticipation, playfulness.
  • “For people who are mentally overwhelmed...just took off 10 things off my list, I might have the mental space to consider fucking your ass.” — Shan (74:08)

9. Memorable Moments & Rapid Fire Final Tips (82:14–87:36)

• Shan’s Top Sex Appeal Hack (83:32):

  • “When I see a guy that I’m attracted to, I just look him in the eyes and I picture having sex with him in my head.” — Anna, story relayed by Shan (83:38)
  • The most powerful form of “mind fucking”—quiet, confident, and magnetic.

• Jared’s Unexpected Sexy Signal:

  • “Clothing is a language...it just opens up a conversation.” (85:38)
  • Use community-specific “codes” to attract compatible interests.

• Ashley & Raina’s Observations:

  • Bold style (like bright nails or red lipstick) send subconscious confidence and invite conversation.
  • “If a man compliments me on my nails…I love it. I love when a guy’s like, ‘I love your manicure.’ I’m like, let’s fuck.” — Raina (87:27)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I better be able to leave my man with my kid…” — Ashley (02:00)
• “Own a sex toy company…it immediately makes people think you’re gonna be so freaky.” — Raina (14:52)
• “Under-promise, over-deliver.” — Ashley (15:24)
• “We’re open to being open.” — Shan (56:25)
• “Flirt with people all the time…when it matters, it’s gonna be like riding a bike.” — Jared (44:46)
• “Sexy eye triangle is…look someone in the eye, look at their body, flick back up.” — Shan (43:45)
• “NBT stands for never be typical…keep the conversation weird and sexy.” — Shan (60:44)
• “Similarity attraction theory says…you’re a lot like your sexual icon.” — Shan (78:21)
• “Saying no to sex for a period of time…means the sex coming up is about to be really fire.” — Shan (70:31)
• “Chore play…take something off my plate so I can actually, like, focus and drop into this.” — Shan (75:09)
• “If a man compliments me on my nails…I’m like, let’s fuck.” — Raina (87:27)

Practical, Easily Applied Sex Appeal Tips

• Practice flirting in low-stakes settings (waiters, TSA, grocery store clerks) so it’s easier with high-stakes prospects.
• Use the “sexy eye triangle”—eye contact, quick look down, then back up—for palpable intrigue.
• Lead with consent and playfulness in touch (“Can I feel your jacket?”).
• Conversation: Be vivid, unconventional, and NBT: talk about fantasies, food, and adventures, not just your job or the weather.
• Steal the stripper tip: When you want to be sexy, “picture having sex with the person in your head”—your subconscious will make your body language confident and magnetic.
• Remember: Sexiness isn’t just visual; it’s presence, confidence, and curiosity.

How to Connect With the Guests

• Shan Boodram:
  • MasterClass: The Art of Sex Appeal
  • Instagram: @shanboody
  • Podcast: Lovers by Shan (upcoming!)
• Jared Brady:
  • Producer and co-creator on Lovers by Shan

Listen to the full episode and others:
Girls Gotta Eat website
Instagram: @girlsgottaeatpodcast

Final Takeaway

Sex appeal is for everyone—it’s learnable, it’s about presence, openness, and playful confidence. With humor and warmth, this episode encourages listeners to try, experiment, learn from the pros (even the strippers!), and find their unique formula for connection and desire.

Highly recommended for: Anyone curious about sexiness, dating confidence, navigating long-term passion, or just wanting a fun, frank convo about flirting and sexuality.