Are Men Becoming More Accountable? with Dale Moss

Summary

Girls Gotta Eat: "Are Men Becoming More Accountable?" (with Dale Moss)

Release Date: August 3, 2026
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine & Raina Greenberg
Guest: Dale Moss

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Episode Overview

This episode balances trademark Girls Gotta Eat humor with authentic conversation about modern relationships, emotional intelligence, and shifting gender dynamics. Ashley and Raina welcome back Dale Moss (former NFL player, “Bachelorette” winner, entrepreneur) for a candid exploration into whether men are truly becoming more accountable in relationships, what drives real connection, male vulnerability, breakups, and their own adventures in friendship, dating, and travel.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Summer Adventures & Female Friendship

(00:26–15:49)

• Hosts recap July: Dewey Beach girls’ trip and honoring alternative life paths as women in their late 30s/early 40s.
• Friendship and fulfillment: Both Ashley and Raina reflect on how their adulthood has diverged from traditional expectations (marriage/kids), sharing gratitude for a full, joyous life built on chosen family.
• Quote:
  • Ashley: “My life feels so full, and I’ve taken a different route than other people have… but it’s better.” (04:00)
  • Raina: “All my friends are single, 43 years old, and are just happy and hot and crushing it.” (04:31)
• Dewey Beach moments: Running into fans, pontoon flip cup championship (Raina again!), and a hilarious viral encounter with a stranger's "I love mentally unstable women" shirt.

Notable Moment:

• Shashank (Raina’s husband) fits seamlessly into the girl group, becoming beloved for his laid-back energy—“Let this be an example to all men… just happy to let you shine.” (07:21)

2. Summer Concerts, Chicago The Musical & Lost Toenails

(15:49–22:12)

• Recaps: Post Malone & Jelly Roll concert in Edmonton, Alberta (“so talented, no shoes, drinking from his hat” — 16:04), eating Alberta beef, and seeing Mateo Lane in “Chicago.”
• Raina’s “runner’s toe” saga, vulnerability/humor in body mishaps.
• Mateo Lane praised as “brilliant, incredible talent.” (20:25)

3. Welcoming Dale Moss Back

(27:50–28:53)

• Introduced as a “full circle moment”—an early guest now returning, known from “The Bachelorette” (2020) and current entrepreneur/partner in the wellness-focused dating app, A Team.

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Main Interview: Relationships, Accountability, & Modern Masculinity

4. Building a Wellness-Based Dating App

(28:53–32:13)

• A Team is for people focused on health/wellness values.
• Dale:
  • “People underestimate the value that our relationships have on our overall health and well being… Dating apps have desensitized us to human connection.” (29:39)
  • App emphasizes shared routines and intentional connection, not just sobriety or exclusivity.
  • “Our whole thing is to get people together in real life.” (31:43)
• 12,000 people on waitlist; 4,000 onboarded.

5. Dale’s Current Relationship Status & Public Dating Lessons

(32:44–37:54)

• Viral reel about being single, honest about yearning for connection.
• What he seeks: “A woman that’s career-driven, goes after what she’s passionate about… someone I can build a home with.” (34:25)
• Public relationships: Both the stressors and how he’s learned to protect his partner amid scrutiny.
• “The show creates... you go through ups and downs, everyone in your life has to go on the ride with you whether you like it or not.” (36:26)
• Public breakups: Now strives to set boundaries and communicate openly with partners.

Memorable Quote:

• Raina: “Every man that comes on the show ends up just an avalanche of pussy.” (35:56)

6. Insights from “The Bachelorette” & Transformative Relationships

(37:54–43:05)

• Dale’s “Bachelorette” season: wild, transformative, led to new views on love and setting boundaries.
• “Sometimes people just aren’t the right fit or there are life situations that make it tough... I learned a lot from that, it shaped the way I look at relationships.” (39:33)
• Importance of not trying to save or “make it work” with the wrong fit:
  • “Your identity is built on your success when the reality is, most don’t even know how to express themselves emotionally.” (39:39)

7. Modern Masculinity and Emotional Intelligence

(43:05–47:39)

• Emergence of “softer,” emotionally intelligent masculinity in pop culture (“Off Campus”) and real life.
• Dale describes circles of men invested in vulnerability: “A lot of my close friends… have seen me bawl my eyes out. But they’re there for me.” (46:07)
• Not all athletes/men embody stoicism; “I just feel like I’m geared a little bit different.”

8. Accountability Among Men—The End of “Bro Code”?

(47:39–51:22)

• Ashley & Raina reflect on pop culture examples (e.g., Summer House reunion) where men call each other out for betrayal, dishonesty, or cheated partners.
• Dale:
  • “I think that’s something that’s a lot more common. I’ve seen people check the other person, even without their significant other knowing… You gotta clean your shit up.” (48:52)
  • “No one wants to be around chaos, especially people doing it consistently.” (50:40)
• Hosts: Noticeable shift—men “holding men accountable” rather than brushing off bad behavior.

9. Real Talk about Breakups: Male Vulnerability & Growth

(61:17–68:04)

• Dale’s hardest breakup: “We really loved each other… we both cared enough to say, like, hey, we gotta pause this because this is not who we are.” (61:34)
• Difference between “clear” breakups and the “slow drip”:
  • Ashley: “The worst breakups… you do love this person, they’re a good person.” (62:50)
• Dale emphasizes feeling pain and growing:
  • “You have two options. Either you grow from it, or… you just keep going down the road.” (40:50)
  • “People saw me in a state they’d never seen me before, but… I let them be there for me, which typically I’d never do.” (63:17)
  • “You gotta feel it, for sure.” (65:12)
• Raina: “That worst, terrible breakup, you will never go through that again… You do it once, you know you have the strength.” (65:12)
• Male community and support: Dale credits deep male friendships and therapists for his healthy growth post-breakup.

10. How Women’s Standards Are Changing Dating

(68:20–71:27)

• “Women have raised their standards – it’s changed dynamics with relationships in general.”
• Dale: “Men have always banked on cars, credit cards, success as value. But women are making more, have education, provide for themselves. So what are you bringing to the table?” (68:57)
• Ashley: “All you can bring to the table is your personality now. So, what do you got?” (69:01)
• Emotional intelligence, partnership, and support are what matter.
• Ashley: “If it costs me my peace, it’s too expensive.” (70:41)
• Dale: “I want to be able to support [my partner]… Just to go on that ride and be there with them. That’s not intimidating to me.” (74:18)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Women’s fulfillment: “You can choose a really, quote unquote, ‘alternative’ path…and still have a special, amazing life.” – Ashley (05:47)
• On the end of “bro code”: “Women hold men accountable, but men have to hold men accountable. Your peers have to hold you accountable.” – Ashley (49:17)
• Dating app humor:
  • Raina: “Field is like, are you into cucking or choking? Dale’s app is like, do you like peloton or running?” (31:17)
  • Ashley: “Do you wanna be a third in someone’s couple? Fuck, yeah!” (31:31)
• On small things in relationships: “I’m like, acts of service is my thing. I like doing the small things. They’re the most important.” – Dale (74:18)

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Other Memorable Exchanges & Lighthearted Moments

• Raina’s lost toenail story (17:41), recounting communication barriers at the nail salon.
• The mythos of the “backpack date”—fans now drop backpack emojis on Ashley & Dale’s posts (72:33).
• Audience-favorite callback: Dale’s old modeling photos in a taco costume from Party City become a source of inside jokes (80:49).
• Discussion of communication styles: Dale is a phone-call guy; hosts bemoan the “FaceTime without warning” generation (77:19–78:48).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Summer reflections & Dewey trip: 00:26–12:56
• Concerts, Chicago, and body humor: 12:56–22:12
• Dale Moss’ return & life update: 27:50–29:32
• A Team dating app: 29:32–32:13
• Dale’s relationship status & public love: 32:44–37:54
• Bachelorette stories & emotional growth: 37:54–43:05
• Modern masculinity debate: 43:05–47:39
• Men holding men accountable: 47:39–51:22
• Breakups & male vulnerability: 61:17–68:04
• Women’s standards & partnership shifts: 68:20–74:18
• The “backpack date” convo: 71:27–73:03

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Final Thoughts

This episode delivers the signature blend of Girls Gotta Eat: witty storytelling, self-aware humor, and real talk about how relationships and gender expectations are evolving. Dale Moss brings refreshing candor around masculinity, dating, and emotional growth, confirming that yes—men can become more accountable, but it’s an ongoing journey for everyone.

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Share-worthy Quotes:

• “If it costs me my peace, it’s too expensive.” – Ashley (70:41)
• “How you do one thing is how you do everything. Character matters.” – Raina (48:55)
• “You gotta feel it. Otherwise, you’re not getting through it.” – Dale (63:54)

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For more info:

• Dale Moss: @dalemoss13 (Instagram); check out @ateamco
• Girls Gotta Eat Podcast: Official Site | Spotify | YouTube

End of summary.

Transcript

[Ashley Hess]

Sometimes you leave a date and you're like, were they funny or was I just funny?

[Raina Greenberg]

Or was that the martinis?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I think. I think you were funny.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, okay, Dale. This podcast is a Dear Media production.

[Ashley Hess]

Hi, guys.

[Raina Greenberg]

Hi, guys.

[Ashley Hess]

Welcome back to another episode of girls. Gotta eat.

[Raina Greenberg]

August 3rd, July is over. We had a legendary run.

[Ashley Hess]

It's my favorite month of my life. It's my favorite month. I just. I can't believe it.

[Raina Greenberg]

We did a lot. We were recapping the month. We were like. We did the most. Never had a July like that. But we have Dale Moss today. Raina's new man. No, we will.

[Ashley Hess]

Reyna.

[Raina Greenberg]

All right, Reyna. You guys had a moment.

[Ashley Hess]

I don't know.

[Raina Greenberg]

And it was very funny.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm still rooting for you guys. He could be the third in your couple.

[Raina Greenberg]

Insane thing to say. Insanely disrespectful thing to say.

[Ashley Hess]

I think him and Shashank could have a great time together.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, my God. Anyway, we are glad to have him back for you guys. You've been requesting it for years. So we have Dale.

[Ashley Hess]

Today we answer the burning question of was it a date? Shashank, I love you so much.

[Raina Greenberg]

Disrespect.

[Ashley Hess]

I actually said to you the other day, I have something so nice to say about Shashank. People are going to be like, right? It needs to calm down.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, I'm sad. Girly pop. Say it.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm just saying we talk about Dewey. All right? Or think of her.

[Raina Greenberg]

We'll get right into it.

[Ashley Hess]

Thank you to better help see reviews and decide if it's right for [e-mail] GGE and Article get 50 off your first purchase of 100 or [e-mail] GGE

[Raina Greenberg]

and thank you to ButcherBox. Get 20 off your first box and free shipping. Plus your choice of ground beef, chicken, or sirloins in every [e-mail] GGE and thank you to Zenni. Get 15 [e-mail] podcast with code podcast15 and quince get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quints.com GGE and app exclusive offers when you download the app. Ooh.

[Ashley Hess]

So, yes, as August starts, I look back on the best month of my life, July, which I just. We went to Dewey Beach. We took our annual trip this very early in the year for us. We typically go, like, late August, and I didn't really have any plans for July as of early June. We. I think we planned our trips like, mid June.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, I think early days, we would go to Dewey in July, but then I really just started to prefer August. And it's always great. You know, I love a September. I love a June. I was there for Memorial Day weekend, but this was, like, was a little early for us. And I think even some people in the town were surprised.

[Ashley Hess]

We surprised the town.

[Raina Greenberg]

This is the most when we see listeners of the show, and it's so special to us. We love you guys all over, but it's just so fun to run into the girls gotta eat community in Dewey for eight years running now. And it's just so fun. And, I mean, I saw a girl on the street and she was like, you guys usually come in August. Like, it was very funny. People know that we're not usually there. So we surprised everybody. We were there for my brother's birthday, and just that was the time that worked best for us to go. And it really was such a special trip.

[Ashley Hess]

I was having a lot of feelings about it. So we invited some new people on the trip. First of all, Shashank came. He was the only guy on the trip. He was the honorary girl on the girls trip. And we brought Megan, who was new. And some people who usually do come, didn't come. And I don't know, I was driving down with Megan to meet you guys, and I was just thinking about, like, you know, what? We have sold women about their lives if they don't have children by a certain age or they don't get married by a certain age. And I feel that you and I speak about this a lot, but this was really representative of that to me, where I just thought, like, here is me and one of my closest friends driving down to meet up with my best friend, and we're all going to, like, share this condo. And my life is so full, and I didn't need a ton of money to do this trip. I don't need a partner to do this trip. Just, like, this is the thing that matters to me the most in life. And I never thought I'd be, like, 40, sharing this, like, condo with, like, my best friend and her husband. And two of my other girlfriends are single and I don't have kids. And, like, my life feels so full and I've taken a different route than other people have taken or that society tells women to take. And it just. I had a real moment of, like, just gratitude for being able to do that and having life not have turned out the way you thought it would when you were young, but it's, like, better.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, my Gosh, yeah. And I mean, yeah, I'm married, whatever, but, like, all my friends are single, four, three years old. And, like, I've taken all these trips with all these single girls. Like, I. It's. It's crazy, and it feels so inspiring at this age. And, you know, I'm a couple years older usually, but everybody is still late 30s, early 40s. And the France trip, the Dewey trip. We went to this concert, which we'll talk about. Like, it's me and a bunch of, like, hot single ladies. And I'm just like, this, the married woman. And I'm like, this is pretty dope, you know? And I say to Shashank, where I'm like, he's younger than me and all his friends, most of his friends are married and having kids. And I'm out here with, like, all my friends are single. I mean, we're always, like, running around New York. And, of course, these are women that I've chosen to surround myself with in recent years, Women that want to live life in a certain type of way. And, of course, I have tons of friends who are married with kids, too. But it has become, like, more apparent that I'm doing really fun, amazing things with women who are not tied down in any way and who are all living their best lives. Lives and are just, like, happy and hot and crushing it.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, all of our friends are single, and our other two friends that we were with, our friend Laura threw a pool party, and our friend Lee came down. Neither of them were with their husbands. I mean, one of their husbands was back at their house. The other one was upstairs in the house. But, like, it was just us and all these girls, and, like, no kids or your nephews came over, which was very cute. But I don't know. I just. We say it all the time. You can just choose a really, I guess, you know, quote unquote, alternative path in life than the norm. And still this, like, really full, special, amazing life. And I'm never lonely for one minute. I'm not wanting for anything. I'm just. I felt really grateful and happy.

[Raina Greenberg]

But, you know, like, the first friend that gets married in, like, your 20s, and she's like, I'm the first one. And then everybody's single and running around.

[Ashley Hess]

Why?

[Raina Greenberg]

How is that me at 43?

[Ashley Hess]

I don't know literally, how. How. I. I don't know how this happened. I mean, honestly, my friends have really all done me a solid. None of them are married. None of them have kids. I mean, and you married somebody who, like, he is part of the curl group. I mean, most of our friends, almost all of them are with people that I really like.

[Raina Greenberg]

We tolerate. No, I'm getting. We do like, most of them, but.

[Ashley Hess]

But like, I wouldn't invite them on a girls trip. Like, I think there's this wide range of, like, partners. You have, like, of male partners. You have the male partners that just kind of sit there and say nothing. And they're just a piece of furniture in the room. And I don't. I don't hate it, but I don't need it. And then you have, like, male partners that just need, like, so much attention. And I definitely don't want that. That's gross. Why? You're in a girl.

[Raina Greenberg]

You get no too much mansplain. Get it? Like, speak out a turn now.

[Ashley Hess]

No, I don't. I just. I don't want that. I just. I don't need, like, an extra piece of furniture in the room, and I don't need somebody that wants a lot of attention. He's just like, right up the middle. He, like, speaks with spoken to. He says something funny and goes back to his phone. Like, he's just happy to let you shine. I mean, let. Let this be an example to all men. That's really the only person I want around me in a group that somebody's husband. That's true.

[Raina Greenberg]

And you guys are like, dead ass. When you're like, should Shashank come? I'm like, what? Like, you and Megan will be like, well, like, it'll be the three of us. And someone will be like, I wish Shashank was here. I'm like, y' all okay? I mean, it's so flattering. And he's just so chill and easy. He's the easiest person to be around. And when he obviously contributes something to a conversation, it's valuable. And he just kind of chills and he gets along with everybody, but he does have a Dewey personality that comes out. And Dewey Shashank really came out on this trip. And we were at the starboard one night, and this singer and band I love, her name's Kristen and the band is Kristen and the Noise. But she didn't have her whole band with her, and she just had two members of the band. And this is someone I've been seeing and looking up to since I was 19 years old. I mean, younger probably. She's been playing in and around Delaware and Dewey beach for so long, and she just has the best voice. She's just such an icon. And she has become a fan of our show. So the first time time I realized, like, she knew who we were. It was at this, I think it was a starboard staff party. I was tagging along with Matt and I'm like, I can't believe a Kristen is like, a fan of mine. Like, I'm a fan of yours. Like, it just is one of those crazy full circle moments. And so she's playing at the starboard Sunday night. We go in and she's just like, girls gotta eat in the house. And she's just being so funny. And then she came over and talked. She met Shashank, and he was giving her requests and she was playing them. And at one point she was singing Alanis Morris that you ought to know. And we were all like, right up front and singing along. Shashank hands her his phone. What are you doing? That is the Kristen and the noise. What are you doing? She grabs it and then she, like, turns it around and is filming herself. We'll put this on the screen. It's also on my Instagram and is like filming herself with all of us. Like, she understood the assignment immediately. When I saw him hand Kristen his phone, I was like, sir. And he knew. They had, like, a moment.

[Ashley Hess]

I just. I felt like I watched it in slow motion. I was like, everything I thought about you was wrong. Every single thing. I thought you were so cold and gassing you up and you. You deign to hand your phone to Kristen in the middle of this. Like, what is about to happen? This is so crazy.

[Raina Greenberg]

He knew and she knew. And we got this really fun video out of it. Of course. Like, it's, you know, it's. It's a casual, chill vibe. It's like some concert and you're just like bothering the performer, you know, like, it really went off and we were talking to her and stuff like that. But people like, he has, like, when he gets some drinks in him, he really does kind of become more outgoing and he'll, like, be dancing and, like, you know, rocking out. And it just was very fun. I feel like everyone's like, I really love Dewey Shashank. I'm like, yeah. I mean, it's. We've had one. We've had one night where he did pass out. It was the night we got engaged and he did have to go home early and pass out with his shoes on. But that was the only time that Dewey really defeated him. It was pretty good.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, it's the most defeated I've had been on a trip too. But it was just so special. And I Feel like I owe you guys an explanation if you're crazy. We do down there, so. So we were at the first night. We always go to the Jam, which is live music. It's really fun. It's our first stop. If you want to, you know, you can figure out where it is if you guys want to come stalk us. But we're there, and Meghan, our friend, sees this guy with a shirt that says, I love mentally unstable women. And she's like, you got to get a photo with this gu. And so he doesn't even turn around. I'm just like, I'm gonna take a photo with you. I take a photo of, like, my face with just his back, and then he walks off, never to be seen again. And I'm kind of drunk. And we're all just like, we should be posted. Right? Hard lunch. Obviously, that's not my boyfriend. Obviously. It's just a funny joke. And I posted it, and all of you guys commented, and I feel like I got some of you guys excited, and I'm so sorry. I love you guys so much. I love that you're excited for me. That is not my man. He did, however, I will tell you guys. Find me. He found me. He slid into my day at dms. He said, hey, that's me. He sent me a photo of himself wearing the shirt. He was like, when can I see you again?

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean, they always find you. They will. There is always a way. I'm sure someone sent it to him.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes. I know that we have a large fan base in, like, the Philly, Delaware, D.C. area. So somebody just. He was wearing an auburn hat, right?

[Raina Greenberg]

Auburn.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So somebody definitely just, like, sent it to him, but he was in my DMs quick. And listen, you guys, I did try to meet up with him, and then he said he had to go back to work. And then if this guy is a girlfriend.

[Dale Moss]

Oh.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, God. Listen, anyone can have that shirt. It's just. They sell it on the Internet.

[Ashley Hess]

I just thought you guys would obviously know it was a joke that I'm standing next to a sign that says, I love mentally unstable women, which I am. But it made me laugh really hard. I'm so sorry to break your heart, guys.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, so we just wanted to set the record straight on that. Um, but it really was such a great trip. I just something about it this time around. We just had such a good time. Everyone was like, this has, like, just been the best. And everyone just felt really grateful. And we did this big boat trip with all our Friends and family and Matt's friends for his birthday. And the. My nephews were on it, and it was just. It was just wonderful. So I just. I was just feeling really a lot of gratitude on this last trip.

[Ashley Hess]

I just. I really felt it. I just. I felt really, like, emotional about it. That, like, this is the thing I value the most. More than Santa Tropez, like, more than these other things. And it's just. I'm. I'm just glad it turned out this way. And I just would like to say that for the second year running, I am the pontoon boat flip cup champion. No one can beat me. I. I am a frat guy at heart, and no one can beat me.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, I mean, I can't argue with that. Rayna. We play musical flip cup. It's so fun. We did it last year on my Bachelorette on the same boat. We did it again this year and it. Raina won again. I think you are the right height. Yeah. You don't have to bend over as much. Like, you're eye to eye with that solo cup.

[Ashley Hess]

I know.

[Raina Greenberg]

You just flip it.

[Ashley Hess]

And your nephew Aaron was like, holding my hand, dancing with me, walking around.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's so cute. So, like, the music starts, you walk around, dance around the table. It stops. You take your drink, you flip the cup. That's musical. Flip cup, obviously. But Raina was kind of in charge of Aaron. I had, like, showed him how to flip the cup when it was empty, and we had a fun time with it. That's on my Instagram as well. Ash Hass. But then Reina was like, walking around around with him, and I was like, he's gonna get some alcohol. Like, I was like, I feel like,

[Ashley Hess]

no, I. I hope.

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't know how much you were really paying attention. I was like, there's no way Aaron doesn't get some high noon on this.

[Ashley Hess]

But I paid attention. I mean, I just, you know, I'm. I'm scared of your sister in law. I feel like she's the kindest person in the world, but I don't want to get her. Her done drunk.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm kidding. But there was a point where we were like, joking. We were like, is this safe to do?

[Ashley Hess]

He's my low good luck charm. I love him so much.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. He was such a sweetie. So it was really nice. And then after that, we. We. I came back to New York and I was there for a minute, and then we went to this concert. If you guys spotted us in Edmonton, Canada, which. Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which is A place I had never been. And we went to the Post Malone and Jelly Roll concert and Carter Faith was also on the bill and this was a tour that they have been on. Post Malone is touring all over and Jelly Rol this North American run with him. So this was like close to the end. Like we were like the third to last show and we had a blast. I mean they're both so talented. We just love them and had the best time. And a lot of people, like I posted some on my Instagram, like some photos and people were like, what the fuck were you guys doing in Edmonton? Why didn't you tell us that you were there? So sorry, we'll give you a heads up next time. And it's just, it's nice to see a place that we haven't been and we know we have lots of listeners in Canada, so maybe we'll come to a show there some days. Shashanka's family there, you know, he was very. He's been a number of times, but we had never been. And it was just, it was great. The concert was incredible. Can't recommend it enough. It's. It's over now that, that, that bill like Jelly Roll and, and Post Malone. But we're glad we got to see it.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, it was amazing, honestly. Well, we, you and I performed with Jelly Roll on stage at the goddamn Comedy Jam in la. So we actually have performed with him. But I've never seen, I've never seen Post Malone live.

[Raina Greenberg]

It was.

[Ashley Hess]

He performs with no shoes. I was like, that is brave.

[Raina Greenberg]

He. Yeah, he is shoeless. And yeah, Jelly Roll is so kind and wonderful and they're just both so talented. But Post Malone is up there. No shoes. He. At one point he poured a beer into his hat and drank it. And then it. I think he was even like, that didn't go as well as I thought it was gonna go.

[Ashley Hess]

He was smoking a cigarette. How do you sing and smoke cigs? I mean, I love cigs, but I couldn't do it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I think he's so talented. He can do whatever. He can be drinking, he can be drunk, he can be no shoes. He can be smoking a cig. And he's still performing in such a way like he can just pull it off. I mean, they both are. And Carter, Faith is incredible too, and so sweet and she has an amazing voice. And it was just an amazing concert. And you know, we had a great time in Edmonton. We had steaks both nights we were there. That Alberta beef. Thank God I ordered the same steak both Nights, I was like, I need that steak.

[Ashley Hess]

I love.

[Raina Greenberg]

There's something about it.

[Ashley Hess]

It was better the second night, too. Also, we learned how young Post Malone is, and I did not realize. Did you know he was that young? I think he's 31.

[Raina Greenberg]

I guess I. When he first. He's. Yeah, he's 31. So he started his career 10 years, not 11 years ago. Like, I didn't realize he was a child star when he first came out. But it was great. We loved it.

[Ashley Hess]

It was. It was really fun. Again, I have never spent so much time with you in my whole life.

[Raina Greenberg]

It has been a lot. It has been a lot. Well, I also had one more thing I wanted to announce. I know you guys always love to know what's going on with my body. I lost a toenail and I.

[Ashley Hess]

It's rough.

[Raina Greenberg]

Realize this toenail was coming loose, like, a couple weeks ago. And it's like, from running, which is like, how fucked up is that? You're trying to do something good for your body. I know. Be fit, be healthy. And you lose a toenail. It's like runner's toe or whatever. I had noticed that it was coming loose, and it was at the point where I was like, it's about to fall off and I don't want to, like, rip it off, whatever. So I went to my nail salon in New York. It's called Golden Tree. That's where I've always gone. I was excited to go back there and visit my own stomping grounds. And I go in there and I'm like, going to get a pedicure. This is like, before we left for Dewey. And I'm trying to talk to the nail tech about what we can do about the toenail. And it is tough to have that type of conversation with a language barrier. Like, what are we going to do about this thing on my body? Like, what type of surgery are we gonna perform on an appendage when we really are not able to communicate?

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, I think that they see this stuff every day. This has happened to me.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. So I was like, I'm gonna just trust her. Sometimes you can communicate better than this. Was not really one of those times. I was like, I feel like we're not. She was saying glue and powder. And I'm like, sounds great. And then so I'm like, I guess we're gonna do it. Cause she was trying to take it off. I was like, don't take it off. And I think she knew what was best. And so she. I was like, let's leave it. Let's just, like, patch it up. I was just being a pussy about it. So she mentions glue, she mentions powder. She goes to town, she does a powder dip. Whatever. She glues it back on. It looks perfect, right? I mean, you guys saw it. It was the best of all. Ten of them was the fake toenail or whatever the fuck she did. So I'm like. She crushed it. Like, we go. We went that night. Oh, I forgot to. We need to talk about Chicago. I want to mention Chicago. We went out to Chicago that night and the musical. And I'm like, this was perfectly done, you know, no notes. And what? A week later, I went for a run in Dewey. I ran to yoga. And the second I got to the yoga studio and took off my sneakers, the toenail was loose again. Lost the toenail. Lost my toenail implant. So anyone can, like, feel my pain on this. It is so brutal. So then I just had to, like, take it off myself. It's regrowing.

[Ashley Hess]

You gotta start painting the skin. You can try to put a tip on it. I have. The first time I put an acrylic nail on my toe, it was a real, like, reckoning moment for myself.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's a humbling experience, losing a toenail. Yeah, it's starting to grow back. I'm not gonna paint my toe. It's just what it is. I'm just gonna embrace it. And so the middle toe on my left foot, it's just. It's there and it's bare and it's

[Ashley Hess]

there and it's fair.

[Raina Greenberg]

But anyway, so I just wanted to throw this in that night, jog my memory. We saw Mateo Lane in Chicago the Musical. He plays Billy Flynn. It was incredible. He is such a brilliant, incredible talent. And so we just wanted to mention that. But is he in it anymore? No. I love this.

[Ashley Hess]

I love the theme of this intro. We're just telling you guys about stuff you can't do anymore, and that's okay, but you can't.

[Raina Greenberg]

But you can't lose a toenail.

[Ashley Hess]

He's such an amazing talent. I just. Chicago is my favorite musical. I don't really actually care about musical theater that much, to be honest. If you guys do great, it's not typically what I spend my money on. He was so phenomenal. He did a short run, I think six weeks maybe. And, I mean, we've just. We've known him for so long. We've watched him just ascend to a level of fame and greatness that's just been so phenomenal. I'm so proud of him. I just felt like I was gonna cry when I saw him come out and he was saying how wonderful the crew was to work with. And if you guys have the opportunity to see Chicag, I mean, they're an interesting musical because they typically have. I forgot what he said.

[Raina Greenberg]

Stunt.

[Ashley Hess]

Stunt casting, where they have, like, a famous person, like, you know, Maddox. Yeah. He just was so phenomenal.

[Raina Greenberg]

So that was my first time seeing Chicago. People have seen it multiple times. I understand why. I really loved it. I didn't know too much about it. Like, you've seen the movie? I haven't seen the movie. I didn't know that. It was just really all song and dance and a really minimal set. And the focus. Focus is on the choreography and the singing. And so, anyway, just congrats to him and sorry, you can't see him anymore. But again, like, it's one of those musicals that they'll be. Someone you were really interested in seeing, will probably star in it in your lifetime. That's how they do it.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, he said he wants to do it again. And I also. I came home and watched Chicago because I love the movie. I'm obsessed.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, well, we are just going to talk about our partners, and then we will get into a Dale Moss. I am telling you guys about Zenny. So we love this. I wear glasses. Raina sort of does. I never know what you're doing.

[Ashley Hess]

I wore them the other night to watch tv, and I was like, oh, that's what stuff's supposed to look like. This improves my life a lot.

[Raina Greenberg]

So if you wear glasses or sunglasses, you might know how it is. You don't want to replace them until you absolutely have to, because they can be really, really expensive. But Zenny is changing that. They are an online eyewear shop with stylish prescription glasses, sunglasses, and customizable lens options at prices that make it easy to own more than one pair, starting at under $30. So you're just going to go to Zenni.com, pick a frame, enter your prescription, customize your lenses, and they ship right to your door. No store visit, no pressure. And we just love the styles. I mean, with this, you can get multiple pairs. You can get a pair for work, get a fun pair. I just think there are so many cute looks. Like, I see people, like, doing a certain look. I'm like, can I pull that off?

[Ashley Hess]

You know?

[Raina Greenberg]

And I just. I never know. I always gravitate towards the same style, but I really want to get more like like wire rimmed pair. There are over 150,000 five star reviews. And if you've never bought glasses online, Zenni has a virtual try on. So I love this. I mean there's so much tech that can really show you exactly how you're going to look in these frames before you order them. I love these gold square glasses. Again they start at just 30.95 so it is kind of like a trendy look. But you can just get them and see how you feel about them. And so that's the pair that I am really into at the moment. So you guys can can check them out. That scratched up pair has done its job upgrade today with Zenni. Go to zenni.com podcast and use code podcast15 for 15 off your first order plus free shipping on all US orders over 65. The styles sell out so don't sit on it. That's Z-E-N-N-I.com podcast promo code podcast15.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. And you guys know I just moved. It was so important to me to like decorate my space and make it beautiful. Obviously in New York you don't have that much space to work with so you gotta utilize it well. And I loved using articles. So article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long lasting home at an unbeatable price. When you go on their site they have such a large range. So like in Venice when I lived at the beach, I gravitated more to like a coastal look. But in New York maybe a little more mid century modern. They have scandi inspired pieces and then if you go on their site or their Instagram, they'll show you how to pair everything together and curate a room. If you're like I just don't know how to decorate anything. They take great care in curating the collections and focusing solely on like high quality, meaningful pieces. The packaging is meticulous, the weight and feel of the product is great. It comes mostly assembled and the delivery and support is just like truly second to none. So it's fast and affordable shipping and assembly. It's such a great delivery experience for everything. And if you have questions or you need anything, their support is also phenomenal. So they're available seven days a week. But maybe it's summertime and you want to decorate outdoor space too and you don't want to buy like a whole outdoor set. I love even just accent pieces like chairs or tables. I really love this airy aeri outdoor lounge chair, this slate gray. I mean they have so much to choose from. It's so cute. So check it out. They do have a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you guys need anything, you can shop with confidence knowing that if you're not completely in love with your furniture, you can easily return it. So Article is offering our listeners 50 off your first purchase of 100 or more. To claim, visit article.com GGE and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.comGGE for 50 off your first purchase of 100 or more.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, and I am so excited to talk to you guys about ButcherBox. We just got our butcher box. We have been having dinners with the meats in the butcher box like every night. Like we did steaks last night, we did salmon the night before. We have made burgers. I mean it's such a good quality and we are just obsessed with it. If you guys know, we cook a lot around my house and so we have just had so much fun with it and it makes easy, like healthy, like eat healthier with these quality ingredients. And so you can just like stop overthinking dinner and focus on making something that you're gonna love.

[Ashley Hess]

Love.

[Raina Greenberg]

ButcherBox is 100 grass fed beef, organic chicken, wild caught seafood and more, all sourced to standards they can actually tell you about. They've already done the research and made the tough sourcing decision. So all you have to do is decide what's for dinner. So we just love this. I mean you, I'm sure you got yours too and you've just been like enjoying it. It's just so nice of like a freezer and a fridge stocked. Oh, we got the bacon too. We had the bacon in our burrito and Shashank made BLTs. And what have you been making?

[Ashley Hess]

It's just nice to have like a freezer stocked with everything. I came back, I have like ground beef, I have top sirloins, I have chicken, I have scallops. So I just have all these proteins that are really great in the freezer that I can grab, which I love.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, we did a chicken parm. The chicken was so, you know, chicken can be a little weird and so I just really trust the quality standards that they have in place. And if you guys want to go look on the kitchen sinks, Instagram, we did like a chicken parm. Shashank made it like all table side and that was with the butcher box chicken. And so we are really just, just so obsessed with it. So I just think this is like the way to go. If you what, no matter what you have going on, if you live alone, you live with a partner, a family. This is just great. If you are looking for an easier way to get great meals on the table, give butcherbox a try. Go to ButcherBox.com GGE to get $20 off your first box. Plus your choice of free ground beef for life or free chicken thighs or top sirloins in every box for a year with free shipping always. That's an insane deal. So that is butcherbox.com GGE again butcherbox.com GGE for those items of your choice, be sure to use our link so they know we sent you. And let's get into it.

[Ashley Hess]

All right, guys. We are very excited to welcome back our guest today. He is a model, a television personality, a former pro athlete, a partner in a team, a private members only dating platform. He gets gained Widespread fame in 2020 as a contestant on season 16 of ABC's The Bachelorette where he won the final rose. Please log into the show. Back to the show. Dale Moss.

[Dale Moss]

This is a full circle moment so I appreciate y' all having me on.

[Raina Greenberg]

He gained popularity on 2018 when he gave my girls gonna eat for real.

[Dale Moss]

Like, it's crazy to think like back, like just, you know, early stages and it's been awesome just to see the growth and everything that y' all have done. So I'm so proud of y'.

[Ashley Hess]

All.

[Dale Moss]

And yeah, it's full circle moment. Let's go.

[Raina Greenberg]

Welcome.

[Ashley Hess]

You were one of our first guests. We met you at a party and we were like, he could come on.

[Raina Greenberg]

We did. We met you at a party at math media. Spring place.

[Dale Moss]

Spring place.

[Ashley Hess]

Y We was friends with the math media people.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. That was a long time ago.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. And I was like, let's have him on. Here we are.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

I was like, he's hot. Let's have him high.

[Dale Moss]

Let's go. I. I was here for it. It was fun though. I. I remember that episode like, very, very clearly. So.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

So what's happened in eight.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, eight years?

[Dale Moss]

I mean, a lot of life has happened. There's so many transitions that we go through. Right. Like, you know, there's the show and then there's business, there's relationships. But life is really good right now. I'm really focused outside of the stuff, front facing, really building business behind the scenes. We've got a team. I'm a partner at a team which simply put, if you think of like araya, but with a health and wellness pillar, we love it. We're launching in the city. It's going crazy right now. So that's been really fun. And, you know, I'm just really investing into things I'm passionate about and the ones that I'm able to, you know, have ownership and really be able to scale these businesses.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, there's a lot of dating apps out there. What was. We love something that doesn't focus on drinking. So what was, like, the idea behind this app?

[Dale Moss]

You know, I think one of the biggest things is people underestimate the value that our relationships have on our overall health and well being. And like, like dating apps have desensitized us to human connection. Like, it's swipe culture and there's so many options, but that's not like really building a relationship. So we launched a team with the idea that if you can create a space with people with shared values, shared mindsets around their health and their well being, that you're getting them one step closer to alignment. And like, we say we're like the official dating app of wellness, but wellness is just the common ground. And then when you actually get into the product, it's human connection. So that's really the basis of it. You know, it's been like an awesome ride so far. We're early stages, but we've got a lot of traction and it's been fun. I've grown a lot from the process.

[Raina Greenberg]

Is it available or not? No.

[Dale Moss]

So we're taking applications. We've got about 12,000 people on the wait list.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay. So people aren't using this app quite yet.

[Dale Moss]

So we built this in a very intentional way where you have to be accepted on the platform.

[Raina Greenberg]

Totally.

[Dale Moss]

So we're doing onboarding now. I think we've onboarded 4,000 people. We've got about 12,000 people in queue. Yeah, we're fully launching with our live events. The app's gonna be fully open here in roughly, we hope, like a month.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, my gosh. So can you tell us a little bit about how we just jumped right in, but how it works? Like, how do you connect in the app?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. So, I mean, if you think about, like a traditional app, a lot of baseline features are very similar. Right. It's what people are used to. The onboarding phase is a lot different. It's really asking a lot more about what's your day to day, like, your health, wellness routines, fitness. I would never use this app.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, it's very funny because I think about, like, field, which is like, are you into, like, cucking or choking? And then this is more just like, do you like, peloton or running I

[Dale Moss]

was actually gonna get on that app.

[Ashley Hess]

I love field.

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean, but it is like a

[Dale Moss]

full day on field.

[Ashley Hess]

Do you like being put in a cage? You want to get peed on? Do you wanna. You wanna have a threesome? Do you wanna be a third in someone's couple? And I'm like, like, fuck, yeah, that's fucking.

[Raina Greenberg]

And Dale's app is like, do you watch yoga flow? Do you like, do you like to

[Ashley Hess]

run on the west side Highway?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. But this is the thing though. Like, it's not like people that don't drink. Like, I love a good cocktail. I go out and I turn up. But I. I do know that like, where I ground myself is like doing the hard things, like, you know, putting an effort at the gym. And it's. It's really all about alignment because I think like, in having an identity. Most of these apps don't have an identity. You know, Raya's like, value proposition is exclusivity. These niche ones that actually catch on are, you know, doing really well. And our whole thing is to get people together in real, like, real life.

[Ashley Hess]

Uh huh.

[Raina Greenberg]

I love that.

[Ashley Hess]

We just think that so many of our friends are sober and they don't drink. And it's like they have to introduce the idea that they're sober rather than meeting through some other type of activity. And I mean, I drink on a first date. I always do, because I think it just lowers my anxiety. But it's crazy that you walk into meeting a stranger, you immediately impair your judgment. You're like, I want to actually lower my inhibition to remember things. See this clearly decide if I want to sleep with this person, see this person again. Sometimes you leave a date and you're like, were they funny or was I just funny?

[Raina Greenberg]

Or was that the martinis?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I think. I think you were funny.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, okay, Dale.

[Dale Moss]

But in the most in. In the best way.

[Raina Greenberg]

You guys, first of all, we need to talk about your relationship status. Dale. So someone sent me a reel.

[Dale Moss]

Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

Did someone make a reel of you being single?

[Dale Moss]

Oh, Liv. Yeah. So Liv's my girl.

[Raina Greenberg]

Made me want you to. We've always wanted to have you. We've been asking for years to come back on. And there was like some points where we always had you on and then you, like, couldn't come on and talk about your relationship because the bachelor, like, we were. So you had to cancel on us, whatever. So we've been wanting to have you back on for years. Claire was like, no, no.

[Ashley Hess]

But Claire was like, we've acted Too crazy.

[Raina Greenberg]

Someone sent me this reel of, like, dale is single and looking. And she was like, you guys should have him back on. And I was like, you right?

[Dale Moss]

So, yeah, yeah. I've gotten so many messages from that. Yeah. Well, it's interesting because, like, you. You look at, you know, the real. And there's comments and stuff, but then actually, like, the DMs and everything, like, that looks like a great trend.

[Ashley Hess]

I've been seeing a lot of this lately. Like, man on the street, just going up to people, like, working out, typically working out and saying, like, are you single? How old are you? What are you looking for? And I love it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, so this was your friend that just was like, yeah, it was a fun thing.

[Dale Moss]

She. She'd wanted me to do it for a while, and I've always been a little bit reluctant. But, you know, the fact of the matter is, you know, like. Like, you know, I am single. I think anything is going to, like, kind of naturally happen in due time. But I was like, this, you know, this could be fun. Let's put it out there. And honestly, the response has been great. I've like, I'm not going on. I haven't gone on any dates or anything from it. But people truly like. You see how much people are, like, yearning for connection, putting themselves out there.

[Raina Greenberg]

You see the yearning. So what are you looking for?

[Dale Moss]

I feel with a relationship, obviously, we have to be, like, very aligned. I love a woman that's career driven, that really goes after what she's passionate about. I think that is a level of understanding that someone can relate with me because sometimes I don't know when to turn it off. And I've also realized proximity, for me is a big thing. I've done distance relationships for a long time. I travel. I travel a lot. I move around a lot. And really just like, looking for someone that I can build a home with. Right. I'm 37 years old. I'm pretty clear on what I want as far as a future. And it always goes, like, to my partner first. You know, kids and all that stuff can come after the fact. I think I'm also just in a place where I feel very comfortable and secure, opening up and, like, experiencing, like, new people and, like, just put myself out there. So we'll see what happens.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, so you've had some public relationships.

[Ashley Hess]

That be my question.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, okay. So in terms of a public relationship, you've had these past public relationships. Like, even your relationships that weren't from the reality TV or from the Bachelor were still Public?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. Yeah, without a doubt.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. So people know who you're dating. Like, I am curious your thoughts on that or is that okay? Would you rather have it differently the

[Ashley Hess]

next time or is it easier to be with somebody that understands that that is also the nature of what you do? And then.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I think. I think it's really like a, you know, case by case situation. It's. It's funny because one of my relationships literally came from the podcast. From the show.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, we're aware.

[Ashley Hess]

It's every man that comes on the show ends up just an avalanche of pussy.

[Raina Greenberg]

But so we talked about this was your ex. The breakup was public.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

And so we mentioned it briefly on the podcast and she sent us a nice message and she was like, I don't know if you knew that. I messaged Dale. Did she slide in your DMs when she heard you on our show?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, from the 2018 show.

[Raina Greenberg]

Crazy. Like, she's an. Oh.

[Dale Moss]

She listened to, like, way, way later and then went back and listened to every episode once she found the podcast.

[Raina Greenberg]

Shout out to her.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Moss]

But, you know, I think the public side and everyone handles it, you know, a lot differently. The show creates. And I think a lot of people in reality are dealing with this. Right. When you go through ups and downs, like, everyone in your life has to go on the ride with you whether you like it or not. I think in a lot of situations, people are focused more on regulation than the actual relationship because of the stresses that go on around it. Me personally, back in 2020, that was like, you know, an eye opening thing. But I've had a full career, like, whether it was sports, I've been, you know, in front of the camera, been in a lot of unique circles. So I had a life in this New York scene well before. So the public aspect was never really too difficult for me to handle. But I think you just really have to understand how you're gonna protect and preserve, like, the relationship, because, like, not everyone, Everything is for everybody. And I think also, like, some people handle it really well. You know, previous relationship, you know, it was definitely public, but we never had any issues. You know, we communicated about everything. We always came to each other first. We had each other's backs. Now sometimes stress, anxiety, it can build and uncharacteristic things happen just because of the pressure and stuff. So I've definitely accepted that my relationships are probably gonna be public in some aspect. But that's also why I'm very conscious of, like, trying to protect the other person. So we can build without them feeling pressure, especially if they're not in, like, the public eye or anything like that.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, you trained for this. I mean, you were objectively on the craziest season of the Bachelorette that's ever existed. I mean, Dale is insane. You guys didn't see it this in 2020. They left the show to you. I mean, Claire was, like, on dates with other guys just to talk about Dale. It was Chris. She was like, so what was Dale up to today?

[Raina Greenberg]

She was like, sniffing your boxers. And then they were like, dale, you have to propose. And you were like, wait, what? We just had a guest before this. We were talking about it with her because we said, we have Dale Voss after this. She was like, wait, what? What? She's an incredible, like, author, and she's like, I also love reality tv. And I'm like, wasn't that the best season, the best six episodes of the Bachelor ever?

[Dale Moss]

Well, I mean, it was wild. Like, when I look back at it.

[Raina Greenberg]

It.

[Dale Moss]

It now.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. What do you feel like looking back at it?

[Dale Moss]

You know, I. I. Going into it, like, everyone's like, oh, is this stage? No. Like, there was nothing staged there. Right. And we also had a lot of time to, like. Because they shut down the filming and they. We had a lot of time to, like, get to try to understand someone and, like, you know, see the things that we like. Because on social, even if you weren't talking, you could see it. And honestly, this is actually interesting how it compares to, like, dating apps. So you form and you see these things. But the reality is, like, I. I also had an insecurity that you could make it work with anyone if you tried hard enough. And that, like, I wanted to be the best possible partner for someone, but sometimes people just aren't the right fit or there's life situations that are going on that make it, like, really tough. Like, we were in the pandemic. We were, you know, a lot of things, but I learned, like, a lot from that season. But it was crazy, but it shaped the way, and I'm, you know, grateful for it. It changed the way I look at relationships as a whole, and I think it helped me, you know, show up in a different way and also, like, put more boundaries.

[Raina Greenberg]

Cause you feel like previously you felt

[Ashley Hess]

like, I can make it work with anybody.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. Like, hone it on this.

[Ashley Hess]

Kind of changed your idea of that.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I think, you know, I've always had this, like, I've always been a provider. You know, I have all sisters. My dad Was not in the picture a lot when I was growing up. You know, struggled with some addictions and things like that. So I've been paying bills at my house since I was in eighth grade, you know, and, like, I always wanted to be that and do that and make sure. And I had that. This belief that if I, like, didn't execute, my family would fall apart. And I think that's something I had to grow out of. And I think it's also, like, that kind of mindset in a lot of ways. There's a lot of things that men are struggling with today. Your identity is built on your success when the reality is most don't even know how to express themselves emotionally. And I was very fortunate to have women in my life. And I have women in business that are, like, my partners, my agents, like, my team. And that was, like, a big gift for me. But even with that, like, the pressures of, like, wanting to provide it took a long time, and I'm stubborn as hell to, like, actually let go and say, hey, like, I don't have to be all these things, or I don't have to have everything figured out. So, again, when you get everything stripped away after a relationship, you. You have two options. Either you grow from it, or, like, I don't know, you just keep going down the road.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, you spiral. So I. I am interested in that, though. Like, are you a person who previously has felt like love is enough, like, I will make it work no matter what? And has that ever caused you to stay in a relationship kind of past its expiration point?

[Dale Moss]

Oh, without. Without question.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay.

[Dale Moss]

Cause my parents were together for 45 years, and there were times I prayed my mom would just, you know, separate, just because it was chaotic at times. But I also saw them stick together. Cause they were friends and they really loved each other. But, like, I never, like, believed in divorce. I never wanted to get divorced. It was just one of those things my dad would always, like, say, like, he didn't believe in divorce.

[Raina Greenberg]

Got it. Yep.

[Dale Moss]

But, yeah, I've definitely stayed in some, you know, some on the public side, trying to weather the storm and, like, see if there was a way, like, you know, you could figure it out. But the reality is, like, sometimes it's just not a match. But I've definitely gotten to the point where if I'm not feeling it, you know, I'll let someone know quickly. I move through things pretty quickly. You know, I've had to learn to not just, like, go into the shell and just isolate and just completely cut out, like, everybody as well, you know,

[Ashley Hess]

why would you cut out everybody post breakup or in the relationship?

[Dale Moss]

Not in the relationship, but I think the in between. Right. You know, I've never been a, like, big dater, but I also, I feel like we're in a world where people won't commit. Like, they're very fickle when shit hits the fan. Like, you know, they blame other people. So I think that was just like. And that's just from some of the experiences I've had throughout life. And again, those are like, protective barriers that, like, I had to just grow through and realized, like, I had to also make better decisions on who or what I was, like, drawn to. You know, it's like a woman, like, they don't want a man to try to, like, save them, right? It's like, how can you add to their life and how does it make sense naturally? And for me, like, you know, I had to learn that, like, I don't. I don't need to solve every single problem, especially in a relationship.

[Ashley Hess]

If anything, I think a lot of women are like, I just want to hear like, man, that sucks, instead of like, here's the solution. Solution to this.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

You see a lot of people in that push and pull. Because I think a lot of men, they're like, the value I can bring is explaining to you how to fix things.

[Raina Greenberg]

And you're like, but I'll save you.

[Ashley Hess]

Which is valuable in a lot of situations. But I think a lot of women are like, no, I need emotional intelligence. I need somebody to say, like, that sucks and I'm so sorry, you know.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, well, let's talk about this and this emotional intelligence and this modern masculinity. And I, I love hearing from you because you have sisters and like you said, women on your team, very jalen hurts of you to have an all female team or mostly female team, whatever.

[Dale Moss]

Ye say that.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. But we want to talk about this, and we were just talking with you. You're watching off campus right now. And I think that has really brought this version of masculinity that women are craving right now, where you can have a strong, athletic, masculine dude. You don't need this Timothy Chalamet looking dude, but he can still, like, this guy can still have feelings and emotions.

[Dale Moss]

Chalamet is wild.

[Ashley Hess]

You still look like Jacob.

[Raina Greenberg]

You can have both. And I think that you've probably embodied that for a long. You've probably. You've embodied that for a long time. But, like, are you seeing more of it? Like, we just want to hear your take on this.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I. So I. I'm not all the way through the season, but I've gotten up to episode six. But it was really eye opening because it shows like, what healthy relationships could look like. But also like the men in that, I think they're patient. There's times where they can. Could get angry or, you know, pop off on someone and they don't. It's like, what's the best interest and how do we figure this out together? And they're like, really respectful in it. And I think like, I do see that with men a lot nowadays. I think a lot of men, or maybe it's just the circles I run and like, it's hard for me to also at the same time be around a lot of men because I just feel like I'm geared a little bit different.

[Ashley Hess]

It's funny that you feel like that. Cause you were a pro athlete, so you grew up on teams with men.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. And I. Which is great, but it's just like there's certain things that we're like, I'm not out, like trying to chase anything. If things happen naturally, like, it is what it is. And I've also been like, around like so many women. We're building like this dating app and I've had so many conversations. But it's really interesting because I think a lot of men just don't know how to express and how to communicate. And I think there's a lot of confusion on like, what they can and can't do. I've heard more in the workplace. Right. Even complimenting someone and like some fear around it. But overall, like what the writers and the directors are doing on off campus is really like saying like, this is how like a relationship could or should be and from a woman's perspective is saying like, this is what I'm looking for. And I think it's like, it's a great blueprint because, you know, it's. It's truly like that's something that I would hope that I would have in a relationship. That patience, that communication. Yeah, I just think it's, it's. It's sending a pretty clear message if anyone's actually going to like, pay attention to it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Do you feel like you men in your circle are like trying, like, are you seeing a shift?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I mean like the ones like probably too many softies. No, but like, they won't ever admit that, but like they want more out of a relationship. If they're in a tough situation, they're scared on like how do I navigate this? Do I push through? Do I exit? Do I leave a lot of, like, my close friends? Because I'm. I'm an open book. Like, you know, when I've gone through breakups, I communicate about it. You know, I've had friends see me just bawl my eyes out who've never seen me cry in my life.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, male fear friends. Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Moss]

But also in those states, like, they're there for me. They talk through things, they share perspective, they check up. So those things definitely do happen. And like, I've been pretty fortunate with that in my life. But that's also what I look for in friendships and relationships. Like, you know, we've only got so much time and it's like, I can only fuck with like so many people. But if it's like, if you're not checking some of those boxes, we're not on the same page.

[Ashley Hess]

I think, you know, pop culture gives people permission to be a certain way. So if you see these examples, examples of men, it allows people to, like, be more like that. Yeah, I don't know, I hate to say, like, men are getting better because I never want to say that, but. And I don't know that I believe

[Raina Greenberg]

that's getting better and worse. I think we have a, like, disparity.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. But I've noticed this, like, trend in a couple things and we were talking about it earlier, but I wanted to hear your thoughts. We wanted to hear your thoughts on it. And it first occurred to me on the Summer House reunion when I was watching Jesse and Jesse Solomon and KJ really turn their backs on West. And west hadn't really done anything directly to either of them, but they were like. Like, you have no integrity and so I can't with you anymore. Like, you have hurt people around you. You're a liar. You don't seem to like, copped anything. So, like, I can't with you. It's not like, obviously Carl was going to take Kyle's side, but like these other men that really were west friends sat on stage and were like, I don't with you anymore. And then Ashley and I saw this example kind of recently in a breakup where this couple we know broke up. And I think we didn't really know whose side everybody was going to take, hers or his. And his behavior was deplorable. His male friends were like, I cannot not support this or with this at all. I don't hate you forever. But like, I am not gonna. I'm not on your side for this.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I Just can't have it. I think that's a common thing. Like you're seeing it more. Oh, without a doubt is over. I think like, so like bro code code.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, let's talk about.

[Dale Moss]

Because like, I, you know, dealt with bro code. I think some people just don't want to get involved in other people's in their relationship. So I don't think it's sometimes bro code. I think it's more like you're an adult, handle your business, handle your. And also in like a day to day relationship, like you're not in someone's house and all this shit all the time. Right. But I do think, like the conversations I've had many friends that have distanced from some of their other friends because they're like, I don't get down like that. Like, that's, that's grimy. I can't trust you if you're doing this or like you're married and this happens. Like, I can't be a part of it. So I think that's really a thing. And on the summer house side, those are relationships that have been built for a long time. And you're also like messing around, like on the inner workings. Like that's a, that's, that's a tough thing to accept. So I think that's something that's a lot more common. I've seen people check the other person, even if without their significant other knowing and saying, yo, you got to clean your shit up. You got to like figure this out. Because like, one, she doesn't deserve that. Two, I can't be a part of it if they're married and like they're running in the same circles. It's like, we can't, like, don't involve me in this. Yeah. This is just, it's, it's just messy.

[Raina Greenberg]

Or like, it's integrity and it's character.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

How you do one thing is how you do everything. Like, I don't know, can you have, have a, a guy friend that's fully cheating on his wife and he's still going to be an honest, good friend to you? Maybe. But I think people are like, this is who you are as a person.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

And so I can't, like, I can't trust you.

[Ashley Hess]

But I think a lot of people have always been like, a lot of men have been like, boys will be boys. I'm not getting involved. That's my bro.

[Raina Greenberg]

Not my business.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Not my business. He's a good friend to me. And I am seeing that less and less. I Think that, like, women hold men accountable, but, like, men have to hold men accountable. Your peers have to hold you accountable. It's fine all day long. I can say, men are fucking trash. That's important also. But I think your friends, your male friends need to say, like, even I can't watch this and support this.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean, Rain and I had a friend that did some stuff that we just, like, could not look at her the same after. And it was tough. It was like, she hasn't done anything to us personally. But I. I can't fuck with this. Like, we can be cordial, but, like, I like, character matters.

[Dale Moss]

Well, I think it's a real thing. And I think, like, those conversations do happen all the time, though. It's like, hey, you gotta address this. You gotta, you know, get your shit figured out. And I think if there's like, the gray area or the confusing point, it's like, at what point do you interject? And, like, what role does that play on the relationship? Like, you know, is it your place to tell John's wife that, hey, this is going on? Or is it. Do you press John and say, you gotta get this cleared up. We're gonna distance ourself? Like, this is your responsibility. Cause I think that's his responsibility. Right? Yeah, but it's like, the dynamics. Like, no one wants to be around chaos, and no one wants to be around that type of behavior, especially, like, people doing it consistently.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. I don't. I mean, I don't know that I'd be the person to tell somebody's partner. I just. I don't want to be involved in that type of drama. But. But I. I can't be friends with

[Dale Moss]

you if you're doing that. I can't be involved in that.

[Raina Greenberg]

I know we've talked about that. Like, what if I was cheating on my husband? Actually, I can't.

[Ashley Hess]

When you say things like that.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's just a catching.

[Ashley Hess]

No, but I Like, what?

[Raina Greenberg]

And I was like, raina, you got to support me, girl.

[Ashley Hess]

I don't. It would really. It would harm our friendship because I would be like, I'm so Team Shashank on this. He doesn't deserve this.

[Raina Greenberg]

He's such a poor guy, actually. Poor spot. I know.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm just like, don't even suggest it. But no, I mean, if one of my friends was objectively doing something just so immoral, so, like, just devout of any real character, I just would be like, this will materially affect our friendship.

[Dale Moss]

Right.

[Ashley Hess]

You know, also, don't tell me about this. But now we're in a dynamic where I'm like, don't tell me about your life. And people are like, when you're judging me, it's like, well, you're doing something that is worth judging.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. Or like, it's. You're in the middle of it and then it's like, I'm not going to be your, like, sounding pod or whatever for something that, like, I can barely, like, listen to her. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

It was interesting, though, with Summer House. I feel like we saw this reckoning. Like, I feel like Jesse is sobbing on stage. Was this like, men are coming to terms?

[Dale Moss]

I think.

[Raina Greenberg]

I think it's bad male behavior.

[Dale Moss]

Clear as day. Like, I think that is a true, like, authentic representation. And I think it's something that, you know, is common. Like, guys are more in tune. I'm not saying that they. They have it all figured out. And I think, like, a lot want to be, like, even more open, more vulnerable, things like that. But something's got to shift. Like, they talk about, like, loneliness and all that. Like, what's the deal? Like, why is everyone single? I'm single.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, but you have a track record of long term, serious relationships. You're not pathologically single.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, like, I'm not someone who's like, going on a million dates and it's all, like, falling through. If anything, like, I. Especially now, like, I'm looking, if I meet someone, like, are we going to have a potential to really build a life together?

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Moss]

I'm also very secure, like, you know, with myself and where I'm at with my career and the things that I'm focused on. I also know that sometimes I'm not the easiest person to be with just because I'm on a plane, you know, 60 times a year and moving around. But I think, like, a lot of the things that I've done personally and stepped away from certain things in business and even circles is to create more space so I could actually, like, invest in the things that matter a relationship in the way that I would like to. Whereas before, I don't think I always did that.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, just gonna take a quick break. I am telling you guys about quints. We're obsessed. August. Great to start thinking about how you want to look ending the summer and going into the fall. I mean, I am so excited about Quint's cold weather items. The cashmere. I mean, we just love Quint's linen and silk in the summer and cashmere in the winter and then everything else they sell all year round in terms of the accessories like the bags and whatnot. So if you don't know, but we've talked about this for so many years. Quince specializes in effortless, high quality essentials. So like we mentioned the premium Mongolian cashmere sweaters. There's ultra soft organic cotton. Everything is so high quality. I was just, I washed a sweater the other night and I was just like, I can't believe that this isn't pilling. I've had it for years. The washable silk. I'm so sick of wearing silk and having to take it to the dry cleaner. But when it's quints, you don't have to do that. And they have amazing denim as well. Premium stretch denim starting at just $50. Amazing fit. I have this exercise dress I wear all the time. The outfit that we travel in all the time is this fleece sweats and sweatshirt. I have two sets, I just alternate them every single time I get on a plane. We just love it. Again, the prices are 50 to 80% less than similar brands. The prices are just incredible. You won't even believe it. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not the brand markup. And like we mentioned, it's not just apparel. There is also hotel quality bedding and bath items, kitchen staples, essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. Oh, who Brittany. She got her couch on Quint.

[Ashley Hess]

Mm, crazy.

[Raina Greenberg]

One of our friends just moved to New York. She got this amazing couch from Quint. So you guys can upgrade your everyday. Download the Quint app for app exclusive offers or go to quint.com GGE get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. Shout out to Edmonton, that is q-u I n c e.com GGE and definitely download that that app for sure.

[Ashley Hess]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. So you guys know that they've been a partner of the show for years and obviously Ashley and I are huge advocates for therapy and addressing anything that's going on in your life. Whether it's anxiety, whether it's job changes, romantic changes, anything in your life. But I don't think we've ever actually talked about how much other people love this service. So if you're just wanting to know what other people say besides us, you can check it out for [e-mail] reviews to see amazing customer reviews in real time. The reviews are updated every day with hundreds of people saying how much they love the service. And it's been helpful for them. And you can visit betterhelp.com reviews to see for yourself. And they have an average live therapy session rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews and feedback. And they have a therapist match guarantee. So if you are not thrilled with your therapist, they will help you find somebody else no matter what it is you are thinking you'd like to address. But more than 6 million people have used better help globally and their therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours of on hands experience and they make it super easy to get started. So you're going to answer a few questions, get matched with a therapist based on your needs and again, switch any time if it's not the right fit. So Ashley and I always recommend therapy, see the reviews, see what stands out and see if better help is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com GGE that's better. H E E-L-P.com GGE I'm gonna throw

[Raina Greenberg]

you a curveball deal. So you have how many sisters?

[Dale Moss]

Four.

[Raina Greenberg]

Four?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, do we know this?

[Ashley Hess]

No, bro, I knew no brothers.

[Dale Moss]

Three older, one younger.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's a lot of sisters. Like, are you close with all them? For the most part, yeah.

[Dale Moss]

I'm close with my entire family. I'm gonna get in trouble if I rank them.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm just kidding. I know. So three sisters is wild. How involved are they? Are they in your dating life? Do they approve and like women easily? Have they ever really not approved of a relationship? I gotta know the ace now.

[Dale Moss]

My youngest, my young sister is. That's my ace. We communicate about a lot of things. She's definitely got her opinions.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Moss]

Ultimately she just wants me to be happy. But she knows the in and outs. But she'll also check me if I'm wrong. She'll be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get your shit together, stop acting stupid.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Dale Moss]

Yada, yada, yada. But if she's not feeling someone, oh, they're gonna know. Like they could be on FaceTime and I'm be like, you know, FaceTiming someone and I'm like, hey, I'll be right back. And she'll be like, take her with you.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh my God. So she, it's not the older ones as much as the other ones.

[Dale Moss]

No, no. It's my younger one is. But she's just protective. Right. And she knows and she's seen the things I've gone through behind the scenes in relationships or like where, you know, I, I feel like I'VE just taken, like, a high road or not created chaos. She's been with me through. Through everything. So she's just very, very protective. But I love that, you know, she's that involved. But I also at the same time, make my own decisions. You know, I don't. I don't share a lot of my personal stuff with all of my family for a very specific reason.

[Raina Greenberg]

How would you have the time? All these people.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, exactly.

[Raina Greenberg]

A group zoom.

[Dale Moss]

But people want to, like, protect you. Right. So I don't. I don't even talk too deeply with it. I have a select group of friends who I really dive into with it, but because everyone has an opinion, it can sway. And I believe, like, if there's too many cooks in the kitchen, you don't even know what the like.

[Raina Greenberg]

But is it hard to get those sisters approval, or are they pretty open, or do you have to work for it?

[Dale Moss]

I think my family's, like, really accepting for sure. So I think if anyone, if they show up, if they invest time, easy going, like, across the board.

[Ashley Hess]

Are they in South Dakota? Are they all over? Where?

[Dale Moss]

So I've got two down in Georgia, in Atlanta, and the rest are in South Dakota.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Dale Moss]

So. But yeah, they're. They're. I be getting texts and everything. Or if they see something they don't

[Raina Greenberg]

like, well, have they been like, dale, seriously, this. You can't.

[Ashley Hess]

What do they think about the Bachelorette season?

[Dale Moss]

I mean, my sister was really excited, you know, right away, I think. But whenever she also saw, like, all the stuff behind the scenes and, like, some of the stresses that went along with it, and she just. I think that for her, she wished I hadn't gone on the show because, like, everyone goes on the ride with you whether you like it or not, and they don't know all the in and outs. They don't know, like, the time you spend with your partner or whatever that they never see. But I think it was just a lot of stress on her, and it was also really tough for her to see. Like, you know, there's positive comments, but there's also negative.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Dale Moss]

And, like, that's really, really hard for anyone, you know, especially if they're. They're not used to that space. So.

[Ashley Hess]

And it was during COVID I think you had an even more captive audience

[Dale Moss]

than at that time. It was the most viewed season in the history of the show.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, it deserved to be. It was.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's so hot season. I mean, it's. We'll see what happens with Taylor, Frankie,

[Dale Moss]

Paul, but, like, are they going to air it?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. TMZ broke. Well, I'm. By the time this airs, it will have started airing. Maybe.

[Raina Greenberg]

But you're five episodes to. How many. Do you remember how many?

[Dale Moss]

I was. I was. Four.

[Ashley Hess]

Four episodes. Four episodes.

[Raina Greenberg]

You guys went home and they had

[Dale Moss]

to find a new Bachelor. We didn't even do the reunion or they did the reunion. We. We.

[Raina Greenberg]

Four episodes in Bachelor, I couldn't believe

[Ashley Hess]

what we were being served. It was insanity.

[Dale Moss]

But when you're in it, like, I was there, and I was like, I. I feel like I'm just, like, being myself. And sometimes, like, because there's times where people are so polished and put together and whatever, whatever. And I feel like I was just, like, kind of being myself. And maybe I was, like, a little naive to, like, production and cuts and edits, but I was like, they're like,

[Raina Greenberg]

dale, you have to propose now. Okay, So I want to hear your feelings on reality tv. Are you done? Would you do more? I mean, you did Bachelor in Paradise after years, right, of being in the franchise. That was, like, so fun for you to go back.

[Dale Moss]

I made it that decision last minute.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay.

[Dale Moss]

And honestly, and I've said this before, but, like, I was really worried about being, like, emotionally numb after my relationship ended before the show. It took a lot out of me, and I think I was legit concerned. I wasn't dating. I wasn't seeing people like that. And I really wanted to let go of control also, like, just experience something and kind of put myself out there. You know, I have a role within the franchise over the last X amount of years, so. So it was cool to kind of dive in. But also from an insecurity standpoint, I'll go back to that. But truthfully, I was like, oh, I'm gonna stay away from Bachelor this or that. I'm done with that. But it was a fun experience. I have a lot of friendships. Relationships from the show is great. I've really. My time on a dating reality show is definitely probably done. I think I've outfit aged out, aged out, but also, like, I've just moved on from other things.

[Raina Greenberg]

Would you say that breakup was the hardest, toughest breakup you've had? The one with what we talked about that found you from our show, like, yeah, without.

[Dale Moss]

Without question, we.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm interested in how men handle breakups. I think I know how women do, and we've been through that. But, like, how did you work through that? Like, what got you through? Like, what advice do you have?

[Dale Moss]

You know, I Think the biggest thing with that. And I like, she's like, we're, we're on great terms. I know she's, you know, fine with me touching base on it. But we like really loved each other. We honestly had a really strong, great relationship. But it was pretty eye opening because we were both going through tough things in our personal lives and life at the same time. Right. And when that happens, sometimes there can be a disconnect or you can develop resentment because you're not able to meet someone else's needs or vice versa. And there was a lot of push, pull. Eventually, like we truly cared about each other enough to say, like, hey, we gotta pause this because this is not who we are. This is not how we show up for each other. And it was tough. And I think the reason, like, it was so tough, you know, looking back at like that time, is because we weren't bad people. We really loved each other. But like the dynamic just wasn't working. It wasn't sustainable. And like, that was really tough. It's like you gotta separate. But this is someone who you, you know, at the time or like you believe you'll spend the rest of your life with. Yeah. That one. Like that frickin rock to me.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, breakups are so hard when it's not like somebody doesn't cheat, they don't betray you in a really terrible way. Your friends don't hate them. You know. Yeah. There's nothing like so tangible. Like there's not an event.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

That you hate a person. Like this like slow drip is really, it's tough. I want to validate it. It's like really the worst breakups. And you're like, I do love this person. They're a good person.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. And you know, I, I think back to like, I'm a master compartmentalizer. I could have the worst thing in the world happen to me. It goes in the back of my brain. It's like nothing ever happened. That's something that I would do a lot of times with like loss and relationship. But like this one, I made it. Like I really let myself feel it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Moss]

And people saw me in a state that they'd never seen me before. But also I saw a side of people that I had never seen any before because I allowed them to actually like be there for me, which is something that typically I never would do.

[Ashley Hess]

Do you feel like as a performer. I feel like she and I. I have to do that. Like if something really bad happens to me, I have to get on stage it doesn't matter. Like, do you feel like as a performer also.

[Dale Moss]

I go on a lot. Like, a lot. Right. So, like in, in my day to day. But I remember, like, there were times, like, I could even control. I was like, I'm done right now. But it was like the best thing for me, like, growth wise to let people support me when they could.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Moss]

And it helped me move through it quickly, like, you know.

[Raina Greenberg]

Totally.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. Understood, like, this had to happen. It's just like the point, point. But I moved through it, like, really quickly rather than something dragging on. And also, like, I know I left nothing on the table and I think we both felt that way, but. Yeah, you got to feel it, otherwise you're. You're not getting through it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, that's what women do. Women feel it and we cry and we get the pain out of our body and we talk about it incessantly with our friends and our family and our therapists, and men bottle it up. And then it comes out in these ways that various ways, you know, years down the road or, you know, everybody knows the story. This guy who got his heart broken when he was 20, early 20s, and he never.

[Dale Moss]

I don't, I don't, I don't understand. I mean, I'm not like, shading anyone there. I just can't.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, it's. What you did is healthy. Yeah, it's just like, that's how you actually get through it. It's. I don't know, it's not with you forever. It's affecting your future relationships.

[Ashley Hess]

Like the male loneliness epidemic. Like, you guys could help yourselves, you know, by talking about your feelings with each other and instead of just like, drink it out. It out.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, that old. What is it? Ghetto. Get. Get under to get over or whatever.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, get over it by getting under it.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. I mean, everyone goes through their things, but, like, yeah, you got to work through your shit. And like, this is coming from someone who would bury stuff for years and years and years. And it affected me in a lot of ways that, you know, I just was causing myself so much more problems and, you know, issues than I needed to. Yeah, you gotta feel it. For sure.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. And then I always feel like that worst, terrible breakup, you will never actually go through that again. I mean, hopefully the next person you find that will be a person forever. But it's just like my breakup like, that I was like, I can get through this if it were to happen again. I, like, know I have the strength of, like, the moments of, like, despair crying on the floor. I feel like I could die. I just think you do it once, that's like.

[Dale Moss]

Like, so spot on. Because I hear a lot of people say, oh, I'm afraid of hurting someone, or I'm afraid of getting hurt. And I'm like, yo, after some of the things I've gone through, whether it was the loss of my mother or, like, some relationships, I was like, I can get through this.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Moss]

One way or another. It doesn't mean it's not gonna hurt. It's not gonna suck. But, like, also, if you're gonna get to the levels you want in anything, you gotta be willing to go through some pain. You gotta be willing for it to, like, crash and burn at some point.

[Raina Greenberg]

Totally.

[Dale Moss]

And then pick yourself up. So I've kind of embraced that. Like, let's go.

[Ashley Hess]

The pain's just not gonna kill you. And I remember my first really bad breakup. The worst of my life. I. I thought I was gonna die from the pain. Like, it was just so bad. Every single day, I just, like. Like, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't shower, couldn't leave the house. I was so depressed. And I pushed through it. Like, eventually, you don't think about it 100 of the time. You think about it 99 of the time. Like, that's a win. And, you know, you'll get better. And if you really have pain like that in your life, you lost a parent. Like, you know that you can face other pain.

[Dale Moss]

Yep.

[Raina Greenberg]

And.

[Ashley Hess]

And overcome that.

[Raina Greenberg]

I know. And people just. They're try. They try to avoid it. And I, like, I can think of a. I don't know, I'm, like, looking at a woman or a man even. And you're, like, 30s, and they're just so scared to go through it. And it's like, it's coming, yo.

[Dale Moss]

You gotta go through it.

[Raina Greenberg]

We will all get fucked up by that.

[Dale Moss]

Oh, yeah. And I'm telling you, it fucked me up. Like, every. You have a bad breakup or whatever. But, like, some of my friends, we'd be in a group there, be like, oh, don't fuck with Dale right now. He's on edge. He's. He's working through his problems right now. But they knew, like, I was like, whatever emotions were coming for. For. For a little while. Like, you know, three, four weeks.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, stay away from Dale.

[Dale Moss]

Oh, it was all over. I was, like, telling people, don't come visit me right now because. Because, like, I don't come here, you're not gonna get the best version of me. Like, I gotta Work through this.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, were you leaning on, like, guy friends?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, it sounds like you have a strong circle of male friends, which is, like, so healthy.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. My friend, like, Duncan, who's a psychologist, but he worked with me through a lot. A lot of things I've worked. You know, we really. I've been very, very fortunate to have, like, very emotionally intelligent men in my life, but also, like, even my father, like, we talk through things, like my closest friends. And it. The funny thing is, like, in the moments where I was not expecting to open up or I was. It was visibly like I was. I was not okay. The amount of people who I didn't even have that relationship with that came and, like, kind of consoled or nurtured or, like, talked through things, and then they opened up about their situation. And, like, our relationships and bonds got a lot tighter through that. But you have to, like, let them help you or be there, or you got to let yourself kind of fall sometimes.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. Be vulnerable.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. So that tightened my bond with a lot of people, but it also let me know that, like, whatever on a relationship, like, if it's the right person, I'm not afraid, like, going all in, cuz worst case scenario, totally I'm going to be all right at the end of the day.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

So we asked you what you wanted to talk about today, and one of the things you had written was that women have raised their standards, and it's just changed dynamics with relationships in general and men and how they have to show up. So let's talk about that a little bit.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I think, like, literally, men, cars, credit cards, like, success, like, I think they've always banked on that as far as, like, almost like, personality trait and value. But, like, women are making more money than ever. A lot, like, mo than most men. Right. Education. You're looking at, like, their position in the corporate world, so you have people who can provide for themselves, like, point blank simple. So what are you bringing to the table?

[Ashley Hess]

The joke is, like, all you can bring to the table is your personality now. So, like, what do you got?

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, I mean, like a supportive partner, an emotionally intelligent partner.

[Ashley Hess]

That's part of the personality.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, yeah. True, true, true.

[Dale Moss]

Oh, but it really is, like, they talk about, like, emotional intelligence and things like that, but I think, like. And in general, too, like, this is not like, a control. Like, I think about back with, like, my grandparents, my grandma never worked, and, you know, my grandpa, like, provided for everything. People were kind of tied to each other because they needed each other to even Survive. Like, that's not the case anymore. And I also think like, this old way of, of like thinking about masculinity, toughness, control, like, you gotta be tough and resilient and everything like that. But you don't have to bury everything. But it's also like a respect thing. Right? Just how would you show up and how, how are you gonna treat people in your day to day? But yeah, I think, you know, there's been a big shift, and I think that's a big reason why women are now, like, not choosing men, where before it's men choosing women.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, what are you bringing to the table?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I mean, the amount, amount of incredible women I know that are single. I mean, there's such a disparity between incredible men that I know that are single and incredible women. I mean, half of my girlfriends, a lot of them, almost all of them in New York, are successful, beautiful, interesting, they work out, they have hobbies, interests, they're talented, they're all single. And that's not the case for the

[Raina Greenberg]

men that I know.

[Ashley Hess]

So women are choosing to just be solo.

[Dale Moss]

I've heard like, so many, like, conversation. They're like, I don't even care if I'm dating right now now because, like, the pool is so bad or like, I'm, I'm good, I'm sufficient by myself. I don't need anyone for any. So, like, unless they're bringing something to the table, it's not worth my time.

[Ashley Hess]

Also, I don't want to be like, a man hater. Like, I think partnership is the most beautiful thing in the world. It enhances your life. It's the best feeling. Romantic love is the best feeling you could ever feel.

[Dale Moss]

Yep.

[Ashley Hess]

But I think that women just have leaned back and they've just said, like, if it cost me my piece, it's too expensive.

[Raina Greenberg]

So you're like a natural provider. You said, like, you kind of alluded earlier that maybe in the past you've maybe had a little bit of like a savior call complex. I'm not accusing you of that, but just in general, you, you know, wanting to, like, provide. And now women don't need as much providing for. So have you thought about that? Like, kind of had to reconcile that because you want a strong, independent woman, but you also want to provide.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I mean, I, I think I look forward to it because I, I like and I know how I. Let's go stop the podcast. Let's get it.

[Raina Greenberg]

You try to say that on.

[Ashley Hess]

I know I, I'm strong and independent, but I could be silenced. And I am ready. I'm ready to be. You can pay my bills. Yeah, I don't need to pay my bills. I'm all set.

[Dale Moss]

Let me adjust how I sit real quick. Maybe you guys should go on a date.

[Raina Greenberg]

Maybe you should bring your backpack. You guys should go on a date.

[Ashley Hess]

Let's talk about that, okay? I don't fucking care about women's standards. Let's talk about if you guys went on a date or not, okay? That was important to me. Eight years ago, you invited Ashley to one by you meet you at an event.

[Raina Greenberg]

It was some premiere. It was a t. Towel.

[Ashley Hess]

And then Ashley came with a backpack.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, that. I. I was just like, hey, like, come. Like, let. Let's hang. I. That's the thing. Like, sometimes I'll be like, I don't even consider. Like, is it a date? I just wanted to kick it, you

[Ashley Hess]

know, Maybe if she shows up with a purse or a backpack, and then I'll know.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, it was weird backpack. I'm like, I hope this is a date, but I'm. My backpack.

[Dale Moss]

Like, I don't know.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, yeah, we met and then we had you on the podcast. Then you invited me to whatever. It was some. It was the movie premiere after party or something, and I'd been out all day. I don't know. I checked the backpack at towel, like, and then I was like, yeah, I don't know. I didn't know what the vibe was, but we're friends. Everything.

[Dale Moss]

Everything worked itself.

[Ashley Hess]

I bought her a backpack for her birthday a couple of years ago, and it was a huge missed opportunity. I mentioned this.

[Raina Greenberg]

We mentioned this in the podcast. It's been like, girls got to eat lore. Like, did Ashley and Dale go on a date? I don't know. You tell us. And then I would see sometimes in comments, like, if I would comment on your post, which, like, your post with your. Your partner at the time, I'm like, you know, hyping you. I'm in support of it. And people would comment back to me. Five backpack emojis.

[Dale Moss]

You know what? I'm gonna a. I need to get a red backpack. Yeah, but I, like, truly. I. I just was like, I just wanted to, like, kick it, like, get together and get to know you. I. I didn't consider it like, a date.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's a friend zone situation. I get it. It's fine. I'm married, so don't even worry about it.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I wasn't. I wasn't dating, like, really anybody, honestly.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Unlike now, where he's gonna pay my bills, and he's just gonna hobble me.

[Dale Moss]

That's great.

[Raina Greenberg]

We talk about this because I quote Kiki Palmer all the time with her saying, like, I want partnership, but I don't need a man's money. Yeah, that's not what I need from a man. But I need support and love, and, like, I think of what my husband provides for me, and, like, he doesn't pay my bills, you know, Like, I make more than him. This isn't, like, a secret. It's. That's not our dynamic. But, like, what he does for me is. It's invaluable, like, his support for me. Like, I feel like I'm at the point where I can't. I can get through the day without him, but he just, like, supports me so much. Like, I am fine on my own. I was fine on my own for 40 years. But, like, I do need him, and in a lot of ways, you know, And I would be fine without him, of course.

[Ashley Hess]

And I. I wouldn't. He is the best.

[Raina Greenberg]

He does. He does a lot. He, like, really supports me, and he is, like, emotionally intelligent. He does all the things.

[Dale Moss]

Things.

[Raina Greenberg]

So it's just, like, I think some relationships have had to be shifted with a woman who doesn't need your, like, financial support, but she wants your, like, emotional support. And, you know, you can be there in that way.

[Dale Moss]

So, yeah, I agree entirely. And I'm like, acts of service is my thing. So, like, I like doing the small things. And I think, like, nowadays, the small moments in the small things are so rare because people are moving and all these options, but they're the most important. So I've never had, like, a worry about how I can show up for someone. I look for someone who's driven, successful, who has their thing. I want to be able to support them in that. And not by, like, trying to, like, be involved in every aspect of, like, the business, but just so, like, I can go on that ride and, like, be there with them. So that's not intimidating to me. I think, like, for me, that's kind of, like, the baseline. They don't have to be doing, like, the most elaborate thing. They just have to be, like, really, really passionate about it and work hard on it. So, yeah, I mean, I look for that heavily.

[Ashley Hess]

All right, well, guys, if that. If you felt the bill slide into

[Raina Greenberg]

Dale's DMs, no, I have a question for you. You travel all the time. You're always on the road. You're always in an airport bathroom. Taking a selfie. That's this thing.

[Dale Moss]

It, like, popped off randomly, so I was like, let's just ride it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. And so how do you. You make a partner feel secure in the relationship? Do you have to even think about it, or is it natural to you? Like, do you have to kind of think, like, I need to be consistent and text or whatever it is, because I'm gone all the time.

[Dale Moss]

And I make it a big point that even when I'm not there, like, they're a priority in the relationship. So that could be the text, that could be the, you know, heart here, that could be this or that. Because I think a lot of times when there's separation, it's like, you have your life when you're together. Obviously, there's some shifts when you're not, but, like, as far as, like, insecurities about, like, what they're doing or. I've never really had anyone try to, like, control my movements outside of, like, maybe a few moments.

[Ashley Hess]

I think different rules apply to different partners. And we've said this before. Like, I think if somebody's with you and they feel like you want to be with them and you're intentional and you're trustworthy, then post your airport selfies.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

You know, you just seem. I mean, you know, I've never dated you besides that one month, but, like, you just seem. One night, One month, one night.

[Dale Moss]

It was a glorious night.

[Raina Greenberg]

You seem like a solid partner. Like, is that the feedback you get? Mostly? Like, I don't see you as, like, a woman wondering where she stands in a relationship with you.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. Like, I don't do well with gray area. And I think, like, in some of the relationships, like, if there was gray area, I made it pretty clear that, like, I'm clear on, like, this might not be where it's at, so. And if I'm investing in someone, like, you're gonna know it. And I'm not afraid of, like, doing too much or all this stuff. Like. Like, I'd rather do that than. And let them know where they stand and how I see them.

[Raina Greenberg]

Ladies, he will autom you.

[Dale Moss]

I mean, even, like, picking up the phone and calling to talk to someone. Like, people are like, I. Like, no one ever calls me. I've never experienced this.

[Raina Greenberg]

I wanted to ask you this. I just saw a clip. You did a podcast recently. You said, like, you'd be calling people, and they're like, what's happening?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, it's like that. I like to hear someone's voice and check in and, like, yeah, there's this but like you know, pick up the phone. Like I'm not trying to keep tabs on you. I just want to hear your voice and see how you're doing doing. And that's like such a foreign thing. Like you're texting for like a month at a time and like you barely know the person's voice.

[Ashley Hess]

No, I want to be on the phone every single day only for sleeping together. Like Ashley doesn't call me Ashley.

[Raina Greenberg]

We've probably called each other.

[Ashley Hess]

I don't know. It's an emergency. It's like a really serious.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, we like really need to talk something through.

[Ashley Hess]

Like something's really bad.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. Have you like call. Have you ever called someone and they're like so flustered? Like someone you're newly dating, do you just call? Like just.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I mean I think like there's been times like I literally. I can hear it in their voice when like they're so shocked. Yeah. Like what the going on? Why are you calling?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, if she called me I would be like, what happened?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah. And it's like texting and it's like look like I'm just gonna pick up the phone easier and truly like they're shocked. Multiple people have said I've never had a guy call me in the first like week or two. Like all they do is text and I'm like, just quick check in.

[Ashley Hess]

I want to surprise FaceTime but like only if I'm sleeping with somebody. Everybody else now right at the FaceTime thing with anyone.

[Dale Moss]

Like no one has my location outside of like I think one person.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh really?

[Dale Moss]

It's not even like a hide thing. It's just like because I don't look and see where my friends are. I have their location but I never look at it. And like the random facetimes you don't

[Raina Greenberg]

like a random facetime sometimes.

[Dale Moss]

But as a whole like if it's like all the time, like people randomly

[Raina Greenberg]

facetime the only people with the. With my nephews is the only real.

[Ashley Hess]

My sister in law with my nephew.

[Raina Greenberg]

My brother. Better FaceTime me.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, yeah. My sister, she FaceTimes me like go off and like I mean I. I think it also like if you know I'm in a relationship facetime me like all you want or just you're probably gonna get. Hey, is everything okay? I don't know. I just don't like the random facetimes are just one thing that.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, you're a millennial. Like you're. And in that you had to grow up calling Girls on the landline, you know, and their dad could answer. And I think that's like a very millennial thing, is, like, we do want to talk on the phone, but, like, the FaceTime generation is a little unconscious. How do you talk for hours?

[Dale Moss]

I'm just saying, like, let's tap in. Like, what's that?

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, but we're long distance all the time.

[Ashley Hess]

But like, today, like, like when you're here.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, I do. Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, you guys will.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's. It's like, also, like, reminiscent of our previous long distance relationship. Like, so we.

[Ashley Hess]

So it's like, hard to say.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. Like, are we doing it because it, like, brings us back or we really want to see each other.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Dale Moss]

Oh, like, if you're seeing someone, it's. That's different.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's different.

[Ashley Hess]

That's what I'm saying. Romantic relationships and your nieces and nephews.

[Raina Greenberg]

And that's what I'm. That's. Thank you. Like, I don't really need to FaceTime my friends.

[Ashley Hess]

No. When our friends FaceTime, I don't want that.

[Dale Moss]

Well, yeah, usually, you know, it's some random, like, other person who's on there that I probably don't want to talk to.

[Raina Greenberg]

Right.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, right. Like, oh, I just got with this person.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, you got to meet a fan.

[Dale Moss]

Or like, you know, or. Yeah, sometimes. And I'm like, hey, what's up? But like, can you, like, just never do that again?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Dale Moss]

Or they're out, like, up, and it's like, uhhuh.

[Ashley Hess]

I had a male comedian FaceTime me once, and he was like, I want you to, like, talk to these girls. I was like, you FaceTime me to get pussy.

[Dale Moss]

Don't do that.

[Ashley Hess]

You have to do a meet and can't you just do this on your own?

[Dale Moss]

I've had people where they're like, will you take a picture with my.

[Raina Greenberg]

My wife?

[Dale Moss]

And I'm like, yeah, totally. Like, you know, it's. But it's. It's kind. Right? But then he's like, dude, I'm gonna. I'm so gonna get laid tonight from this.

[Ashley Hess]

That's crazy.

[Dale Moss]

Like, this is weird.

[Ashley Hess]

Exactly.

[Dale Moss]

I swear, that's. I've had that happen, like, multiple times.

[Ashley Hess]

I also forgot that you FaceTimed us during that Boston show. Show.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, when I called in.

[Raina Greenberg]

So that's the night I met my husband, by the way.

[Dale Moss]

Oh, wow.

[Raina Greenberg]

That show is like, lives forever.

[Ashley Hess]

It's a crazy show. That's the night that I met this guy that I wrote a whole comedy hour.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. That was October20, 21. We were all in. I was wearing, like, a taco. Because you have the whole taco. Like.

[Dale Moss]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That goes way back. I. For that. Yeah. So I went in.

[Raina Greenberg]

Are you embarrassed by this deal?

[Dale Moss]

So I went in for something. I thought it was. Was Broadway talk. The modeling industry, right? You could do, like, something great. And then you have like, some random. And I walk in and they have all these costumes. I was like, what the fuck? And my agent's like, dude, just get through it. Like, they're paying you, like, really well. It'll never see the light of day. And I'm like, because. And there's like, multiple. I was like, I'm not doing that. I'm not. They had some weird shit in there. But the taco on.

[Raina Greenberg]

Wait, so what year was this?

[Dale Moss]

20. Whoa. Probably 17.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay. So. Yeah. So if you guys don't know what we're talking about, obviously deals a model and these. Once you kind of got fame on reality tv, people found your old modeling photos from Party City. And you're wearing this taco costume. Which I own.

[Dale Moss]

I own one as well. I'm not going to lie. They sent it because they thought it was going to be funny. And I was going to do this whole thing.

[Raina Greenberg]

And then I was like, so these pictures came out. Whatever. Bottom line is, that's what I dress for that show in Boston. And we called you anyway, you know, you're off to the Bachelor. Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

You clip of it in the episode. We have this great reel of us calling you, and Ashley's in this taco costume, and you pop up on stage and the audience goes bizarre, insane.

[Raina Greenberg]

I remember that answered Shashank's. The audience. Like, I can't. I can't compete with this. I came here to try to meet this girl.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, my God.

[Raina Greenberg]

This time another guy.

[Ashley Hess]

This guy would fall in love with this.

[Raina Greenberg]

Filming it.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, is this really, really crazy?

[Raina Greenberg]

Yes, exactly. It was so funny. Well, Dale, this is so lovely.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, this was amazing.

[Raina Greenberg]

Thanks for coming back on and tell everybody whatever you want to plug. Like, can you direct people to try to get on the app or.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, I mean, you can see things I'm doing on social media, Instagram, a little bit on TikTok. But a team, truly, I think that we're. We're building something that's going to change the way that people connect a team co. You can download it in the app Store and a team code on Instagram. So congratulations. And we're launched here in New York City. It's it's hit right now.

[Raina Greenberg]

Do you know Bobby? You do?

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, Bobby West. Sad.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, well, I just feel like Adonis.

[Dale Moss]

Yeah, Adonis and everything.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, I love this.

[Dale Moss]

We're gonna work on some stuff together here pretty soon.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, great.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, well, you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat dot com. Girls Gotta eat Podcast, Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Raina israina dot greenberg. Raina greenberg dot com. For her tour tickets, you can watch full video on Spotify or YouTube. Watch this one for sure on video. We recommend it. Share with a friend and we will see you guys Thursday.

[Ashley Hess]

Have a good week, guys. Bye.