How to Let Go of Regret

Summary

---

Girls Gotta Eat: “How to Let Go of Regret”

Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine & Rayna Greenberg
Release Date: December 22, 2025
Podcast Network: Dear Media

---

Episode Overview

In their final episode of 2025, Ashley and Rayna close out the year by diving deep into personal growth, regrets, and accomplishments. Blending their characteristic humor, candid self-reflection, and vulnerability, they address the universal feelings of regret that arise at year’s end—how to process and let go of those regrets, why changing your mind is healthy, and what it means to celebrate both wins and losses. The episode is full of real-life stories, listener submissions, and memorable lines—all delivered with the warmth and wit of two best friends who’ve hosted Girls Gotta Eat together for eight years.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reflecting on the Year & Podcast Milestone

• Ashley and Rayna kick off by acknowledging the challenges of 2025 with their signature comedic banter.
• Celebrating eight years of the podcast, marveling at their longevity and partnership.
  • “We love to wrap up the year with you guys like this and just thank you for, you know, eight years together and can’t believe we still have stuff to talk about.” – Ashley (01:00)

2. Aging, Self-Acceptance, and Body Image

• The hosts joke about millennial aging and their fluctuating sense of self-image.
• Discussion of embracing imperfections and sharing insecurities about bodies getting older and resisting over-editing on social media.
  • “I think I’m done doing that. Like, I don’t really do it too much anyway. But I think those problem areas, I’m just gonna embrace them.” – Rayna (05:39)

3. Holiday Show Recap & Behind-the-Scenes

• Ashley and Rayna recount highlights from their eighth Girls Gotta Eat Holiday Spectacular.
  • Appreciation for the theater, their audience, and the teams (BD Entertainment’s drumline, Philly strippers, show volunteers).
• Reveal of favorite show segment: bringing audience members (often men) on stage to perform with strippers in costume—now a tradition.
  • “It has never not been my fave thing we’ve done in eight years. Cause you don’t see it coming.” – Ashley (08:24)

4. Tour Announcements, Small Embarrassing Moments, and Navigating Public Life

• Announcement of Rayna’s first solo comedy tour across 20 cities.
• Ashley discusses the intensity of managing large-scale shows and balancing professional/personal life.
• Stories of small social missteps, like wishing “Happy New Year” on December 14, and how harmless moments can haunt us with regret.

5. Work-Life, Success, and Post-Event “Crash”

• Ashley reflects on the emotional aftermath of achieving multiple major life milestones in one year (tour, wedding, special).
  • “If I can really do it all, I will be so proud of myself and realize just what I’m capable of. And I think that’s really what I learned this year about myself.” (26:00)
• Honest discussion about the “identity crash” after reaching big goals, how overwhelming it felt, and how she found herself again.
• Acknowledgement of living in a “double life” of personal happiness and broader societal/political distress in 2025.

6. Generosity, Community Support, and Social Responsibility

• Ashley shares her experience with Instagram outreach—offering direct financial help to followers in need, and being inundated by the volume and pain of responses.
• Both hosts emphasize the importance of giving back, citing the kindness seen during crises (e.g., LA fires) and the responsibility to help those less fortunate.
  • “If you can help, just do it... Give back where you can and help your neighbors.” – Ashley (30:57)

7. Rayna’s Year: Slowing Down, Self-Discovery, and Letting Go

• Rayna discusses her first year in a while not on tour, using the time for reflection, writing, exploring new hobbies, and re-evaluating where she wants to live.
• Honest talk about comparing herself to her co-host’s achievements and wrestling with “micro” and major regrets—like feeling slow to start stand-up or therapy classes not being fulfilling.
• Reframing regret: “Starting now is still starting.” (34:24)

8. Lessons on Regret and Personal Growth

• Regret is normal and sometimes necessary for personal growth: “Regret is really human and it’s not like personal failure.” – Rayna (34:37)
• How to process regret:
  • Ashley’s Three-Step Program for Micro-Regret:
    1. Reframe: Did it happen for a reason? Can it be for the best?
    2. Correct: Is there something actionable? Do it if you can.
    3. Move On: Accept humanity and vow to do better next time.
    • “Talk it out. You have to get it out of your body to really let it go.” (41:30)
• Notable quote:
  • “You can’t apply today’s literacy to yesterday’s version of yourself.” – Rayna (40:23)

9. Listener Regrets & Overarching Themes

• Audience-submitted regrets largely center on staying too long in jobs or relationships, ignoring red flags, moving too late, not putting themselves out there more.
  • “Our relationship timelines...all played into the timeline that got you where you are today.” – Ashley (52:45)
• The hosts urge compassion for one’s past self, noting that circumstances and knowledge at the time dictated decisions.

10. Jobs, Relationships, & Changing Your Mind

• Both share candid stories of regretting or questioning big life choices (buying a house, moving cities, career changes), and the value in learning from “mistakes.”
• Encouragement that career and relationships naturally ebb and flow, and nothing is wasted—even if you feel you “should have known better.”

11. Letting Go, Forgiveness, and Being Gentle with Yourself

• The hosts emphasize the importance of expressing and processing regrets, not bottling them up.
  • Ashley shares an emotional conversation with her mom about missing a wedding photo, illustrating the power of simply naming and sharing regret (44:00).
• “Every year is a new year. Every day is a new day.” – Rayna (76:27)

12. Audience Accomplishments: Inspiring Submissions

• Celebration of community wins: becoming debt free, overcoming loss, finishing school, starting businesses, surviving hardships, big health milestones, and personal growth.
  • “When you’re thinking something 100 times a day and you finally think about it 98 times a day, what an accomplishment.” – Rayna (71:24)
• Reflection on resilience, and affirmation that everyone’s journey, pace, and growth are valid.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ashley on Pride and Achievement:

  • “I think that’s really what I learned this year about myself, is just what truly I am capable of.” (26:00)

• Rayna on Regret as a Sign of Growth:

  • “If you’re carrying regret into the new year, like, I hope you pause and notice…what it really means is that you’ve grown and you got new information and none of this was like a mistake.” (35:06)

• On Editing Ourselves in Photos:

  • “We do ourselves a disservice by doing that sometimes, because you look back at photos of yourself from two years ago or something and you’re like…I was so this. It’s like, you weren’t. You edited that too.” – Ashley (05:53)

• Ashley’s Three Steps for Micro-Regret:

  • “My first course of action is reframing…If I can’t get there, I move to step two, is there something I can correct?...And if there’s not, you have to just move on. You are human. You will do better next time.” (40:54)

• On Not Living in Regret & Changing Your Mind:

  • “We love to change our mind and it’s just human.” – Ashley (66:46)
  • “You can be exactly where you’re supposed to be right now.” – Rayna (35:45)

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00 – 01:30: Opening banter, year-in-review vibes
• 03:50 – 06:55: Outfit fails, aging, reflections on self-image
• 06:55 – 10:54: Holiday Spectacular recap & tour talk
• 13:07 – 14:46: Regretful moments, social faux-pas and how they linger
• 21:05 – 27:00: “Lessons learned,” post-wedding/tour come down, duality of joy and world events
• 31:37 – 34:24: Helping audience in need, reflecting on hardship and generosity
• 34:24 – 39:04: Rayna’s year, embracing a slower pace and self-discovery
• 40:54 – 42:55: Ashley’s 3 Step Micro-Regret Program
• 51:05 – 56:15: Listener regrets: relationships, jobs, personal decisions
• 61:10 – 69:14: Changing minds, moving, the butterfly effect
• 71:09 – 74:19: Audience accomplishments and collective resilience

---

Takeaways & Closing Thoughts

• Regret is Universal: Everyone deals with regret—small blunders and big choices alike—but it’s not a sign of failure. Rather, it often signals learning and growth.
• Be Kind to Your Past Self: Knowing what you did with the information you had is enough; there’s no sense in beating yourself up with hindsight.
• Start Now: “Starting now is still starting.” Beginning at any age or stage is valuable and worthy.
• Celebrate Progress: Audience accomplishments, big and small, matter. Every struggle survived and every step forward counts.
• Change is Human: It’s okay to change your mind—even on big things—and it doesn’t diminish your reliability or worth.

---

Shareable Moments

• [41:30] Ashley’s three-step micro-regret program
• [35:06] Rayna reframes regret as a sign of personal growth
• [72:14] Audience accomplishment submissions that highlight resilience and hope
• [40:23] “You can’t apply today’s literacy to yesterday’s version of yourself.” – Rayna

---

Girls Gotta Eat wishes all listeners a gentle, reflective, and joyful end to the year—reminding everyone that we’re all works in progress, and there’s no deadline on growth, healing, or happiness.

---

Transcript

[A]

As the year comes to a close, I think that, like, a lot of us need to hear stuff like this. That like, you're not the only one like replaying these moments in your head.

[B]

This podcast is a dear media production.

[A]

Hi, guys.

[B]

Hi, guys.

[A]

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta eat.

[B]

Last week. Episode of the year.

[A]

We did it. 2025.

[B]

We survived 2025.

[A]

Is this the most suppressed you started a year?

[B]

You don't know. There's still some couple days left.

[A]

Something bad could happen.

[B]

They died doing what they love, talking shit on the year. Yeah. It was the roughest start. That's how you want to kick this off?

[A]

Yeah. How bad it was?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, we're going to start, I'm gonna take you guys low and then I'm gonna bring you back up.

[B]

We have a lot to say, but.

[A]

We are really excited to get into this episode and just it's really like a reflective episode about mistakes and accomplishments and we love to wrap up the year with you guys like this and just thank you for, you know, eight years together and can't believe we still have stuff to talk about.

[B]

We really do. Yes. February will be February. February, February. February will be our eight year anniversary. I can't believe you think we're gonna make it to 10.

[A]

Yeah, we're gonna make this to 20.

[B]

Are you kidding me? 20?

[A]

I'm gonna do this until I die.

[B]

Hospice.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

Where.

[A]

Where are you going?

[B]

That's going to be a bummer because like when we have this podcast when we're 80, 90, it's going to be iconic and we're going to be making all this money for what? No possibly, right?

[A]

You know, driving.

[B]

Kids make it more funny than ever.

[A]

I did the other day I was talking to my brother about my will and I was like, I guess I'll leave my money to, like, your kids.

[B]

Yeah. And nephews. And the rest of the family.

[A]

Who else?

[B]

I support the family.

[A]

You okay? Not me. My brother makes no. I'm going to leave it to his kids and charity. I guess that's it.

[B]

Yeah. Azul know he'll be long gone. All right.

[A]

Anyway, guys, let's thank our partners. Thank you. To Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item in every box for [e-mail] GGE with code GGE and quints get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quint.com GGE.

[B]

And thank you to Nutrafol. Get $10 off your first month subscription plus free shipping at nutrafool.com with code GGE10. So if you guys are looking at my nails, you're probably like, oh, you didn't get them changed. But I did. But you're not gonna be able to tell on camera. And it makes me feel like a little bit of a psycho. I noticed they were different, that I've went and got my chrome gold nails redone, just with a clear base.

[A]

No, I think that they're. Oh, you did clear, not white. What is clear?

[B]

Clear gives them even more of, like, a less ostentatious gold. Little more of that, like, antique gold. I don't know if I recommend it. I don't even know if Julieta recommends it. It's tough. It's tough for her to do because she can't see it. And you have to smudge on the chrome powder. So I do think white is the way to go. I just actually don't think I'm a chrome girly.

[A]

Listen, it's just. It's bold, and I don't want it more than a couple days because I saw that, and I was like, maybe I'll do silver chrome. And I knew I wouldn't want it. And I stuck with red.

[B]

And then for the holiday show, I did all silver diamond rhinestone accessories and was like, I feel like a fucking clown. Like, I did gold to like, match this look, and I'm doing silver boots and silver jewelry and gold nails. I literally was clown emoji.

[A]

Oh, you.

[B]

As I got ready for the holiday, also.

[A]

You looked great. I loved your outfit.

[B]

Thank you so much. You're welcome. I loved your outfit.

[A]

I actually, like. I asked you if you were wearing red, and you were like, kind of. And now I.

[B]

Red.

[A]

Would have looked crazy with red if.

[B]

You would have worn red. Yeah, well, you stuffed yourself into that gold jumpsuit. It was a sausage casing. It looked incredible. I didn't even know you got it zipped. You kind of were in the room with a team of people, and all of a sudden it was like, it's been zipped.

[A]

Not comfortably. I put. I didn't try it on. I was like, I'm so small. I can wear an extra small of anything. And then I put one leg into it. I was like, oh, no.

[B]

There was no give.

[A]

I am, like, petite, but I have, like, a butt and boobs and thighs. Like, I got some.

[B]

I'm thinking the right places. Stop bragging.

[A]

I'm sick in all the right places.

[B]

I'm so skinny, but I just still have, like, tits and ass. It's such a plight. I just don't know what to do with my perfect little body.

[A]

Well, at 40, it's nice to finally like myself.

[B]

Did you see that article that how millennials are aging so well, but we're gonna fall off a cliff at 44? Ashley.

[A]

I saw that and I shuddered. I was like, that's all I have left.

[B]

No, I know it. I know it to be true. Listen, get married whenever you want, but try to do it before 44.

[A]

No, I saw that article and I was like, I need to catch.

[B]

Now you do.

[A]

And like, thank God I'm going on a 20 city tour. Like, somewhere in this country, I have to find somebody that will date me.

[B]

I feel it, I see it. I saw this. No, for me, I saw this new wrinkle today, and I was like, 44 is coming up quick. And I remember being at this wedding and a friend of mine who is gorgeous, and she was talking out of her ass, whatever, but she was like, I think I was 34. And she was like, 36, bitch. Just wait. Everything's gonna go south and this and that and your body and your face and your hair and all that stuff. And here I am, still feeling good, but I actually do think the clip is 40.

[A]

That article sent a chill down my spine. I already have wrinkly knees. I had to edit my knees out of something the other day. There's no good way to edit your knees. Also, it always looks over smooth.

[B]

I think I'm done doing that. Like, I don't really do it too much anyway. But I think those problem areas, I'm like, I'm just gonna embrace them. And I talk about in this podcast. And you guys know that my hands are 70 years old and, you know, has rain, has wrinkly knees. And it's just like, it's what it is, you know, I think we do.

[A]

Ourselves a disservice by doing that sometimes because, like, you look back at photos of yourself from two years ago or something and you're like, I was so this. It's like, you weren't. You edited that too.

[B]

Exactly. Yeah. So I don't. Yeah, I don't do much. Like, I throw a Paris on there, but we talked about. We mentioned what we wore to the show. So we want to just thank you guys for coming. We had our 8th annual Girls Got to Eat Holiday spectacular at Bam Theater in Brooklyn, which was a fave. Love it. Like, almost sad we never did it before. Me too.

[A]

Really, really beautiful theater.

[B]

Incredible theater. And just wanted to throw out a few. Thanks. So we opened it with our GGE drumline, which was created by BD Entertainment, who did the drum line for my wedding. So of course we just want to shout them out again. Easy to remember BDE for short. And BD Entertainment is their website, and that's how you can book your own drum line in any major city. And they just brought the energy and started the show on such a fun high energy note. And they were incredible. And the music medley was great. A little Auld lang Syne rain. I was off the side singing, and I do not know the words that.

[A]

No one knows, you know, what is it Latin? What is the words to that song? The fuck is auld lang Syne?

[B]

And I. I was belting it out, but I was like, those aren't even wor. What am I. What's coming out of my mouth?

[A]

This is like when I sing all Bad Bunny songs. I don't know what I'm saying.

[B]

That was the energy.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

For all acquaintance.

[A]

Also for all acquaintance. We forgot. What does that even mean?

[B]

I don't know. It sounds a little shady.

[A]

It's in English.

[B]

It sounds like a. All y'. All. It's a new year, new me. It's like, bye for all.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. It is like, see you never.

[B]

Yeah. And our Philly strippers, we had them and they're incredible. They've been with us for a lot of years. Leon, Arrow, Joe and Mario. And they were there and they did this thing. And I. I'm ready to break our silence on the segment that we do because we don't talk about it because we wanted people to be surprised. And what we have done, we did it. We started it in Philly last year, and then we did it for the holiday shows last year, and then we did it this year is we have guys from the audience, people's boyfriends, fiance's husbands, come up at a point in the show after the strippers have performed, and then we send them back with the strippers to get trained to come out and perform and strip in costume. And it's one of my favorite things we've done in eight years. Yeah, For Philly, we did mascots. So last year we did Rocky and an eagle and gritty. And we did, like, Philly songs. And then for the holiday shows, we do Elf, like Will Ferrell Elf, Frosty the Snowman and the Grinch. And we do. It starts out this, like the Frosty song or the Grinch song or the elf music. And then it goes into like pony or candy shop. And the audience goes absolutely crazy. I'm gonna maybe put some footage up on the screen if you guys are watching on YouTube. But I'm just excited to talk about it because we've never talked about it because we want people to be surprised. And it has never not been my like. Cause you don't see it coming.

[A]

The elf got so nasty with this one. People went crazy for him. It was unanimous. Unbelievable.

[B]

But the Grinch last year, he had this, like, the sign. And what did it say? Who's been naughty or something? Yeah, the Grinch hands. And this has just been such a fun thing we've done over the last few years is figure out which costumes we're gonna do and get these guys to come. And then they win vibes. Only vibrators for their partner. So we don't want to, you know, we don't want to give prizes out to guys.

[A]

You have to come with a girlfriend.

[B]

Or a wife, so you have to.

[A]

Have a handler at the show and perform for.

[B]

So that was just such a fun thing. And it was wonderful as always. And we had Anna Roisman come, who was a recent guest, and she did her Kris Jenner impersonation and judged a Christmas karaoke as Kris.

[A]

I was pretty drunk when that happened.

[B]

You were.

[A]

I, like, realized after the fact. Like, I was pretty buzzed up by the time that happened. I. I don't know my own strength when I start drinking tequila and I have no strength.

[B]

I could tell you were. Cause your mic wasn't working. You were tapping it, and I was like, oh, fuck's sake. I had to, like, take it and go switch it out. Like, you were like this. Like, what is. Why is my mic not working? I was like, I don't know, but we need to fix this. So I guess I'm gonna take control. And we had Alex with us, who's one of our tour managers, and she was incredible, and she met us. And then my husband ran the show for us flawlessly.

[A]

I truly couldn't.

[B]

I couldn't believe it. We put him to work.

[A]

It's not that I think he's, like, stupid or incompetent. It's just like, it's a lot of moving pieces for one person to day one in a 2,000 person theater.

[B]

Yeah. And we trained him up a little bit with how to work it, and he had some help with the. The staff was wonderful at bam, but he was in charge of the music cues and really keeping the show running, and he really did wonderfully. But there Were a few times where I had to run over there and be like, play this thing. Like he.

[A]

Oh, you did.

[B]

He had it ready. He didn't do anything wrong. It was just like, I needed to think. No, impromptu. I did. I had him play wap because we had the dance off between two of the finalists in this strip off. And I was like, play wap. And like, there's no way to be like, babe, I love you. Like, I have to bark orders. And he's so wonderful and he's so chill. But at the end of the show, I was like, sorry, I just have to be like, I just have to say the thing.

[A]

Now he knows what it's like to work.

[B]

I can't be gentle. Yeah. In that, in that type of setting.

[A]

I can't be gentle. Ashley has a ton of work. I think that you have gotten much more gentle over the years.

[B]

But in that setting, I can't say, like, hey, can you please?

[A]

Well, it's instantaneous, play wise.

[B]

Yeah. It has to. It's a quick movie. He was great. He was very chill, like rehearsing and stuff. He was like, I got it. I was like, but he was a.

[A]

Little too fucking chill.

[B]

Alex is chill too, and she never misses. And they're both like, I got it.

[A]

Okay. But we've been burned by. I got it before. We've been burned by, like, I do this every day. And especially men that are like, I do this all the time. And we're like, we know you don't got this. Yeah, we know you're gonna mess this up.

[B]

You never know with people like that. Cause it could be too cocky. They don't got it. Or it could be confident. Of course I got it.

[A]

You never know what you're gonna get.

[B]

And you announced your tour at the show, which you've already announced it on this podcast, but people just went crazy for it. It was really special moment.

[A]

It was a really special moment. Jeremy like filmed it for me and sent me the video and I was just like crying watching it. And this is so I announced. I posted this morning. It went on sale on Friday. Hopefully every single tour stop sold out. It's 20 cities. If I didn't get to your city. It's a first time tour. I don't know who launches with more cities than 20.

[B]

I do have one.

[A]

Okay, tell me. I'm keeping a list. I am gonna add.

[B]

Why did you add Salt Lake?

[A]

Did not add Salt Lake. Why didn't you do Salt Lake? So I was like, 20 cities is a lot. I Actually was gonna start with like 12, and then I was like, okay, I gotta do like 14. Like, this is true little things. I kept adding, like, I was like, well, I'm already in Texas, so I should add Houston to Dallas and Austin. Like, I like. I would have liked to add more cities, but 20. I was like, see how that goes?

[B]

Of course, it's more than I would have expected. Yeah. Like, the first time I did a tour, it was like eight cities.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I guess that's just a city I love so much. Everybody loves. Everybody loves wise guys. It was one of my favorite cities of my tour. I love those anti Mormons so much. And ex Mormons and I just love my Mormon jokes so much. My soaking jokes.

[A]

No, you're right. I know. Listen, I hear you guys about Salt Lake and Atlanta and Charlotte and Nashville and Pittsburgh and London. I hear you guys. And I will work on it. I promise. I'll go visit my brother in London at some point this year.

[B]

I'll be in London, you guys.

[A]

Don't worry.

[B]

I'll come to that one.

[A]

Okay. I will add these shows. I promise I will work on it. But if you guys bought tickets. Thank you. I'm sure I've added a couple second shows in a lot of these markets by now. Rainagrieber.com I can't wait to see you next year. And I've been running around doing shows. It's been really fun. I said this thing last night. Oh, my God, Ashley. It's been haunting me. I was on stage last night, and before I hopped off, I started asking people how their year has been and things like that. And when I got off the stage, I was like, okay, guys, Happy New Year. And. But last night was December 14th.

[B]

Well, that's a weird choice over Happy holidays or Merry Christmas.

[A]

I know. And as soon as it came out of my mouth, I was thinking, happy New Year.

[B]

I said, happy New Year the 14th.

[A]

And it is akin to, like, when you get out of an Uber at the airport and they say, have a good flight. And you say, you too. This has haunted me for a full 24 hours.

[B]

I don't know. The energy is. I'm ready to be done. Fuck the holidays. I'm ready for the new year. Just let that be your brand. Keep laughing. Keep doing it for. How could I see, like, a thread about you on the Internet? Rana shows this week and she said, happy New Year. And it is mid December, you guys. What kind of drugs is she on?

[A]

Okay, when do you. Happy New Year to me is like, Two days before New Year and four days after New Year. It can't be before Christmas.

[B]

Yeah. And while this was a carb episode of how long you can say it into the new year, I think one week. It's one week max.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are we doing?

[A]

Even January 7th, it's starting to get a little.

[B]

Once people start to really get back to work. Let's stop this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So anyway, that's upsetting to me. Okay, well, we're talking about regret today, so I have a three step program to help you get past that. Thank you so much. But after the show, did you. You didn't go out, did you? I did go out. You went out.

[A]

I went out.

[B]

No, you didn't. Shashak and I were like, there's no way she's out. Cause I had texted you something. I was like, she's long asleep.

[A]

It was like blizzard snowing also and raining. Yes. Well, I went back into the city. Yes. With Melanie and Emily and Jeremy and they were just gonna drop me off and they were like, just come get a drink. And we went to Rinton next door to Mother's Ruin and we ordered soup and tequilas and there was like one table sitting there. You know, I'm not a go out after the show. I don't want to do that ever in the weather. The weather was unbelievable. It was like raining snow.

[B]

Well, good for you.

[A]

I didn't want to.

[B]

We got back and we were starving. We ordered Shake Shack. It didn't arrive till 1:06.

[A]

I didn't even know. Wait, the one that's right next to.

[B]

No, no. We thought it was gonna come from that one near the hotel. So we're like, it'll be here in 15min. It did not. It came from, I don't even know Times Square. So we waited till one o' clock in the morning. So we didn't get to bed till after 2. And then we woke up at 7am to go to the Eagles game. And it had started lightly snowing again that night. But I woke up and opened the blinds and it was a blizzard. And I was like, oh, we're going to a football game. We are going to be outdoors all day. I was like, are we really doing this? And we did it. And it was the. One of the best days of the year. Honestly, it was so incredible. I mean, if you guys are keeping track, it was my second Eagles game in the week. No big deal.

[A]

But you also went to the Eagles game the day after last year.

[B]

Yeah. At last. At last year. After the show, it's kind of like the tradition. I went last year after our holiday show, we drove down to Philly and it was just such a core memory. I mean, we made the best of the weather. We got there. It was me, Chunky, our friend Megan, and then two new friends, Lauren and Meg. They're a couple and Eagles fans. And we got there and my brother had the tailgate set up and he made sure all his friends did it right. There was a tent. Like, at one point, Reina, we were like eating Italian wedding soup over a heater in a tent. I was like, this is the life.

[A]

That sounds fun. I love wedding soup so much.

[B]

And I got tickets for Matt and Steph and Shashank as Christmas gifts. And the Eagles gave me field passes. So Matt and I left the tailgate a little bit early. We went down to the field while they were warming up, and that was such an incredible experience. So then we went into the fucking tunnel. Shout out to my new friend Kelsey, that's my new co host of the podcast Kelsey from the equals. I'm gonna have another wedding just so she can come and be my favorite.

[A]

I would love you to have another wedding.

[B]

Shout out to her. So we're going in the tunnel. I'm like, what is about to happen? We see Swoop, the mascot. We get a picture with him. We're like, jay, my nephew is gonna freak out. Matt and I got a picture with Swoop and we go into the tunnel and we're waiting there. I'm like, we're gonna see the fucking players come out. It was like so iconic. And so all the players walked through and Jalen Hurts, like, walked right by me, came out of a little a. Like all the players come through and Jordan Mailotto was like the first one to walk out. It was just like so hype, you know? And then I felt I could feel him, right? I could feel Jalen Hurts behind me. I could feel him and I could feel his energy. And he came right here. I mean, I could smell him like he was right here. And then we went up to the game and the game was a blowout. The Raiders didn't score at all.

[A]

Did you say the whole time?

[B]

Yeah, it was quick. It was sub three hours.

[A]

No, I watched it. I turned it on. I was like, oh, this game's over.

[B]

Yeah. So we. We would have left a little early, but it was fine. And we got out of the city really early. And it. It was really just one of my favorite days. Was such an amazing experience with our friends. And also for me to do for Matt. It was like the best Christmas gift I could have given him. And then as all that was happening, Chiefs got knocked out of the playoffs. First time in 10 years.

[A]

11 years.

[B]

Turns. Really? Yeah. Turns me on to even say it. They're not even it.

[A]

Who are the Eels and I'll play the Super Bowl.

[B]

I. I don't know. Shashanka saying the Patriots are gonna be the Super Bowl.

[A]

Okay, listen, I think that'll be fun. Is he, like, a really big Patriots fan?

[B]

Not anymore.

[A]

He doesn't care.

[B]

He's. I mean, he loves the Eagles, but.

[A]

He doesn't care about the Patriots. Like, he's not. Like.

[B]

He does care about the Patriots. Yeah. I mean, he's New England. Raised his whole life. I gotta say, House divided. It is funny to be. We've talked about this before. It's fine to be with someone, typically a man who has money on the game and specific things. And we always joke about this, like the way that men get so invested about these games and they're going crazy if it's going well or it's going poorly. And it's like their fudgeing mortgage is riding on it.

[A]

Sometimes I do forget that because I'm always like, you don't play for this team. And it's like, you're going to be.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

You are playing this.

[B]

They're trying to pay their bills. So we came down. We were like, went to this little lounge for halftime, and we came down, and as we're walking back down to our seats, A.J. brown scored a touchdown and Shashank went fudgeing crazy. And I'm like, how much you have on that? He was like, $500. I was like, exactly. I'm happy that's paid for your Christmas gift. So it was just really great. And you were supposed to come, but.

[A]

You know, I can't handle it.

[B]

You knew you didn't. It wasn't going to be for you.

[A]

Jeremy texted me, thank God you didn't go to that game. And I was like, why? As I Woke up at 11. And I was like, why? And he goes, look outside. And I was like, oh, I couldn't handle this.

[B]

They cleared up and there was no snow in the field, but it was freezing and the seats had snow on them. I think most people just stayed standing the whole game, but it really, like, the sun came out and it was just a wonderful day. And I just thank you to the Eagles for really making this the best end of the year for me. I'm really loving being in with them, obviously. And it's just the best team, and I'm so happy to be a part of it. And, you know, we're back on top. Let's hope so. Go Birds. Yeah, go Birds. And one correction the other week, because we mentioned these lifelong teams, and Raina mentioned the LA Lakers, and someone corrected us in the comments and said that they used to be the Minneapolis Lakers. So sorry.

[A]

Oh, I also got a. You need a. Check your facts. DM the other day about love is blind, and they told me, lots of people have gotten divorced besides Milton and Cynthia. We just want to talk about Milton.

[B]

Y' all shut up.

[A]

Wait. Oh, wait.

[B]

I have to tell you, when I was at the Eagles game, obviously having the best day of my life, people were DMing me. Don't oversell it. You better not oversell it.

[A]

Don't you oversell it.

[B]

Someone from Wisconsin might get pissed. Okay, so should we pivot to our lessons learned this year?

[A]

Oh, our personal lessons we learned this year?

[B]

What do you think?

[A]

Yeah, I didn't prep for lessons I learned this year.

[B]

We're not gonna recap our year.

[A]

I'm gonna recap my year. But I didn't write, like, a list of lessons. Oh, I thought I wrote a list of regrets.

[B]

Okay, well, I'll start. You can noodle on it. No, we always talk about Raina keeps forgetting what we do on this podcast. Raina was like, so for Monday's. For this episode that we're recording right now, she's like, we'll do, like, our pop culture roundup. And I'm like, raina, we have, you know, we have a pop culture episode.

[A]

And I was like, but this is the last episode of the year.

[B]

I was like, yeah, but, you know, we started the snacks so we would do pop culture.

[A]

You can't remind me about stuff that happened more than a week ago. You know, I don't remember. And also, I'm really, like, a positive person. But, yeah, I only wrote a list.

[B]

Of her for this year, but I'm.

[A]

Going to wrap them in positivity.

[B]

Okay, can I talk about my year? Everyone's like, we're sick of hearing about your year. It's Raina's year now.

[A]

No, 2026. I'm going to waterboard you with me.

[B]

Eight days left of Ashley's year, so.

[A]

Thank God we didn't get enough.

[B]

I comment on Raina's tour post.

[A]

You guys actually got married?

[B]

Yeah. Did you guys know I got married? Oh, you sound like haters in my comments.

[A]

Now people that write that publicly, I'm like, how mad are you about your life? Like to see that and write it publicly. Yeah, but I'm allowed to. That is crazy. The people in the camp of like, I didn't know you got married. Anybody that says that to anybody else, I'm like, how bitter are you?

[B]

Yes. Your jealousy is like seeping out of your pores. You know what I thought, which I've done a couple times and I want to talk to you about this. Removing followers. I think that is so insulting because I'm not blocking you. You haven't bothered me that much. But I don't want you here. And if you want to be involved in my life, you have to follow me again. Like, I don't do it a lot. And you know what, you know what the message it sends is I want followers. Of course I do this for a living. You know, we are technically influencers with everything else that we do. Like, we need followers. We want followers. But I don't need you.

[A]

But I love this idea.

[B]

Remove follower.

[A]

Bye bye.

[B]

Why are you here in the first place? You don't get to be here.

[A]

Well, I just, I think for a little while, you know, it was fun to abuse influencers and say stuff and people just had to like take it. Not fun for me. But now I think that like people have really taken that back more and you don't get to come into my house and say things to me about my job, my looks, how I live my life that is negative or miserable. You don't need to be be here. You could unfollow me and I would cease to exist. So I don't have to be abused in my comments.

[B]

Exactly. And for something that's just celebratory, like your tour or my wedding, like, are.

[A]

People talking to my tour?

[B]

No, no, no, no. I didn't see any.

[A]

Only one person was like, I didn't know you did stand up. And I was like, take this energy somewhere else.

[B]

Yeah, get out of here. Remove follower. No, like if I. If you post something that's meant to stir something up or be controversial or even like an opinion, pop culture related and people want to debate it, whatever. There's a line certainly. But when you are just celebrating and haters come out, you are the worst. Get the fuck out of here.

[A]

I think people, if you're celebrating something you're proud of, listen, it might be. Not you.

[B]

I.

[A]

There's somebody that I'm thinking of that has posted like 40 times about her wedding. Her. They both Have. And I was like, it's a lot.

[B]

But you know what?

[A]

Let her cook. Let her cook. But people spent a lot of money on this unfollow.

[B]

I know an influencer to someone that I love. And I was like, this is. It's so much wedding content. I might have muted her for a little bit. And it's someone that I, that I like and it's someone that I went back and looked at her content for, for inspo on something like, it's not that. It's just there are other ways to go about this than being a hater.

[A]

Talk shit on me behind my back like everybody else.

[B]

So anyway, got married this year and no, I. I've never accomplished more in a year. There was a point in 2025, which we're. We're still in, where I was like, if I really pull this off successfully, if I really do the whole tour, shoot the special, have the wedding of my dreams, on top of running two companies, doing two episodes a week, all the other work stuff we have to do and having a personal life, being able to travel a little bit. We took a trip and being a good friend, partner, daughter, sister, mother to Azul, like, if I can really do it all, I will be so proud of myself and realize just what I'm capable of. And I think that's really what I learned this year about myself, is just what truly I am capable of. And after it was over, after the tour and the special and the wedding were over, I mean, I had this crash that I kind of thought, but I didn't totally expect the magnitude of it. And I would say it was about a month till I felt really back to normal. And we talked about the post wedding crash, but it was more than that. It was felt like a loss of identity because all I did for an entire year was plan the tour and shoot the special and plan the wedding. That was, those were my priorities and my focus and took up all my time and energy. And then they both ended what felt like abruptly. And I had this like, who am I? And I feel back to normal now. But that was my primary motion was just pride and feeling accomplished and just feeling so much love and support and grateful for the friends and the family and the support system I have and this audience. And we talk about this all the time and obviously we've always felt that for years. And you'll feel it even more as you're on tour solo and coming out to the shows and leaving the supportive comments like, again, I hate to talk about the Negative without the positive, because it's overwhelmingly positive. And people just want to see us happy. Most people again and want to see us succeed. And whatever it is, whatever, it's a comment on Instagram or it's buying a ticket to my show or Raina's show or the Girls Gotta Eat show and just listening, leaving a nice comment on Spotify or YouTube. And we just. We rarely feel that hater energy. It's mostly love. And I'm so grateful.

[A]

Well, I knew what you were capable of. Just so you know, I never for one second doubted you. And it's funny that you said, like, you didn't know, like, what you were capable of. Cause, like, I have some friends that would tell me they were gonna go on a tour and shoot a special and do their wedding, and I'd be like, um, maybe pick one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, I mean, the rest of our job can't, like, take a back seat. I mean, we have a team of people that are responsible to us for vibes only. We do two episodes a week, 90 episodes a year. Like, we don't have a job that you can also not do. Yeah. And I really would have had. If I had a different business partner, I would have really paused and thought, like, can I trust her to be present for this? Can I trust her to, like, show up every week, twice a week, two episodes, edit the stuff, post everything? Like, it just. It never even crossed my mind.

[B]

Wow. Well, thanks. I mean, and you. We've talked about this before. We don't need to be repetitive, but you picked up a lot of the slack, and I feel so lucky to have you as a partner for eight. Eight years at this point where I can have those conversations with you. And just, like, I need your help, and that's what we do for each other. And, you know, I'll do it for you next year. And I know we feel the same, like, when we're really happy. And I feel like this year it was these highs and lows, and I felt so happy in these certain areas of my life. But it was such a horrific year, and we don't need to rehash it all, but just the atrocities committed by the president and the administration, and all the pain and suffering and loss and families ripped apart and just the greed and the corruption of it all, and this dismantling of our democracy, it has been like a waking nightmare that we're still in. And so there was that this year of living this double life where you're doing all this stuff and you'll feel like this, where you're like, I'm feeling so happy. But there's this feeling in the back of my mind that things are bad and there's rage and heartbreak over what's happening. And we've discussed various ways to manage that. I think that just stay vigilant and speak out and be generous when you can, and take care of each other. And let's look forward to the midterms in 2026. And I just think that so many people are hurting and suffering and struggling. And I did this thing that I have done in the past. I feel weird talking about it because it's like I'm kind of. I can't. I don't much have much more capacity to do it. So if someone's listening, they're like, well, I want to be a part of that. But I posted on my Instagram the other night, like, if you're struggling and I can help you and give you some money, let me know and I'll venmo you. I want people to get, you know, cash immediately if they really, really need it and just message me. And I had it up for an hour and I had like over a hundred messages. And so I took it down because I was like, I can't even get to all these. And I don't want people to pour their heart out and then expect something like, I just, it's. I just have to limit what I. What I can handle. And I wish I could. Could handle more, but it's just to read these stories, like, I. I couldn't go to bed till like three in the morning. It's just, it's. It's overwhelming. Like, the people that are hurting, like, young people our age, younger parents, grandparents, people who are taking care of sick family members, people who are working two jobs, like single moms. I mean, people have graduate degrees, they can't pay their bills. It' just, I'm so sick over it. People that we're the only country in the world where people can't afford their medical care and their one medical emergency away from being completely broke or on the streets. And the way that the cost of living has 10x'd over the last decade, but people's salaries haven't, and the greed from this administration and are these people in power and how they don't care and the wealth hoarding and the disparity. And like, people are working hard and they're just trying to get by and they can't. And it's. It's tough. And I feel so angry at the state of the world and that we're the only advanced country that has to live like this when it comes to health care. And the people at the top are just getting, like, wealthier and wealthier. And I just say, like, if you can help, just do it. You know, if you have, if you are you. If you're secure yourself financially and you have something to give, of course you have to put your oxygen mask on before you help others. Just, just try and, you know, give back where you can and help your neighbors. And, you know, so many people in my DMs also submitted other people. And I think that was the comment that I was seeing, that they were like, all the GoFundMes that I posted were from other people. Like, I want, can you help this family or help my friend or people were sending in, like, can you. Not for me, I'm fine, but can you. This is this other person that needs it. And I got messages like that, like, the. Are you realizing that people want to help other people?

[A]

I think we saw that so much with the LA fires and how devastating it was. And the entire city showed up to donate. And not just donate, but organize the donations and make sure that people were housed and people's children were taken care of and buying out people's whole Amazon wish list. And we adopted a family and like, just what it meant to them, just for that family. And they just, they thanked us over and over and over again. And that's just like, one small person's life that we touched. And the amount of, like, GoFundMe that were fulfilled, it just, it reminded me about the beauty in the world and how kind people can be.

[B]

You know, I don't want to bring the mood down, but it's just if you're doing all right, just, like, know that so many people aren't. And, you know, anytime you can give back, I just encourage it. And like, that that's what we can do for each other. And we shouldn't live in a fucking country where we have to help each other with our medical bills, but here we are. And again, there is so much beauty and generosity in the world. And, you know, I just encourage you to be a part of it.

[A]

I don't know how to pivot to me. I'm gonna talk about me now.

[B]

Let's go. Let's talk about your regrets.

[A]

No, I had a really reflective year. I had a different kind of year this year. You know, you really, like, accomplished so much. And I started off the year saying, like, my goal is Just to have fun. And I did do enjoy your shit. I enjoyed my shit. I really did. I really enjoyed a lot of things.

[B]

But.

[A]

But it was a really reflective year because the first time in seven years I wasn't on tour. I didn't have this tour schedule, and I thought, like, well, what does that mean for my free time? And we had this giant community of friends in la and a lot of people moved away, and I thought, like, do I even like living here anymore? And I bought a house here, and what am I doing, like, in this city? Do I want to be in this city? My family's so far away from me. And I saw you go out and accomplish all these things, and I kept thinking, like, well, what am I also accomplishing? And I thought that I would do these, like, therapy classes, and I just turned out to not really enjoy them. It just, like, wasn't what I enjoyed as much as I thought I would. And you start. I mean, I wonder if other people have this experience that other people don't work with another person as close as I do with you. I guess it's like having a sister that gets married and you're single and you're, like, looking at this other person who's the closest person in the world to you, succeeding and accomplishing all these things, and you think, like, well, what am I going to do to add creatively? And I don't think I've really ever had a year like that in my life. And I used the time to just travel and explore my hobbies and write. And I was just like, what? What's next? And, you know, the culmination of all that is being able to, like, date so much and then write this comedy hour and birth it out and started at the exact time it was supposed to. And I guess I beat myself up of, like, well, why didn't you try doing comedy sooner? Why didn't you try to get on stage before this? And. And I asked myself, like, why? Why, why? Or, you know, why did you commit to these therapy classes and you spent all this money on this? You know, and I think we just have to, like, be kind to ourselves and say, like, starting now is still starting. And, like, as the year comes to a close, I think that, like, a lot of us need to hear stuff like this. That, like, you're not the only one, like, replaying these moments in your head, and you're not the only one wishing you'd, like, started sooner or left earlier or spoken up or saved more money or chosen differently. And I Think regret is really human and it's not like personal failure. And a lot of these decisions came at a time where you were just tired or hopeful or scared and you used the information that you had at the time to make those decisions. And I bought a house in la. I don't know that I really want to live in LA anymore, but I thought at the time that's really what I wanted to do. And now I'm trying to sort of figure out how to move forward with that.

[B]

But.

[A]

But I think that, like, if you're carrying regret into the new year, like, I hope you pause and notice, like, what it really means. And I think what it means is that you've grown and you got new information and none of this was like a mistake. We just. We use the information we have right now to make decisions and we learn new things and we move forward. And I am so proud at the culmination of this year and I'm able to reframe it and think, like, look at all these things I got to be a part of. Being a part of your tour was like so special to me. Being part of your wedding and your bachelorette parties and being inspired by you and by the people around me and by this audience. And I'm gonna like, take all that into next year. Yeah. And I'm not like starting so late in life. I just feel like I'm like where I'm supposed to be right now.

[B]

Totally. And you just had to figure out what you wanted to do. And I feel like I see people have really great quotes that I can't recall one right now. Cause I'm a little brain dead, but about careers like ebbing and flowing and you can't just be go, go, go all the time. And you do need to recharge your battery and figure it out. And I think that is something I've had to learn. And I have watched people's careers go up and down and them, you know, someone, you might feel like they aren't in the spotlight anymore and then they come back and it's really inspiring to see. And I think when I first started doing things creatively, when it was like blogging, influencing, and then starting the podcast and things like that, I was just like, you have to stay on this upward trajectory the whole time or you'll just completely fall off. And that's not true. And I. It's just not true at all, you know, and so I, you know, we just have so many more years of doing this and doing new, different things and Pivoting. And it's just a lesson that I'm always learning in those moments, too. And that everybody needs to take time off to recharge and figure out what they want to do.

[A]

And I also had to remind myself, I also didn't take time off. You know, like, I took time off a tour, and we still ran two companies.

[B]

But totally.

[A]

Like, this whole hour that I wrote is just about dating this year and the experiences I had and the things I learned. And I wouldn't have had the capacity to do that had you and I been on the type of tour schedule that we're normally on.

[B]

Right, Exactly.

[A]

I really fill my cup with being on tour. I love it. You and I have so much fun. We have a great team. We could be in front of our audience. It lifts me up in a way that, like, I don't necessarily feel like I get home and I wanna go meet a stranger at a bar, but I had the time to do that this year.

[B]

Exactly. Yeah.

[A]

And I got all these crazy stories, and I learned a lot of lessons. And I don't know, I think I changed my mind about some things. And that's okay. And I'm not gonna carry this regret or punish myself. It's like, I'm excited that all these things happen. Cause it put me here right now.

[B]

That's so true. And that's the thing with comedy, is you have to live life to write the jokes and create the material. And yes, some comics never take a break. They go, go, go forever. But some comics also are like, I need to live life. I need to not feel like I need to write jokes every day. I want to go out and have the experiences to make the jokes.

[A]

People that do. I was on the show last night with this guy, and he was on his way to go to the Cellar to do six more shows. And I was like, how do you sleep?

[B]

Yeah. And I not. I'm not doing comedy right now. I don't. I'm. I'm coming up with some new stuff as it comes to me, but I don't feel pressured. And I like that feeling when I have jokes that I've written. Feel excited about performing. I'll get up and do them. But I am on a little bit of a hiatus, and I don't want to force it because I think that's what some people feel the need to do. I gotta. What's funny? What? Like, they're just. It could feel force, and you feel pressure. And I'm just like, you gotta live your life. So that's what you did.

[A]

I did live my life. And I just. I feel like I come out of it now more aware with all these experiences and things I'm excited to take into the new year. And I just, I can't dwell on the things that, like, didn't go right. Cause I wouldn't be exactly here right now.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't live my life with a lot of regret about the big stuff. I trust the timing of my life. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and it works out how it's supposed to. But I am plagued by what I would call micro regret. And this is the little stuff from I should have said this thing in our episode, or I should have made this joke on stage, or little things that went wrong. I say this in quotes at my wedding that no one else knew about. Literally, there was not one thing that a guest would have thought went wrong. These are just things that I know and I beat myself up and they sit with me for so long and ruminate and just really be hard on myself. And I. I noticed it a lot more this year because I had so much going on and the stakes were so high with the wedding and the tour. And, you know, I am a perfectionist. But on top of it, I'm also really sentimental. So if something I feel like I didn't have, picture I didn't get, or moment I didn't have at a wedding, for example, or a show, a big girl's gotta eat show, like, I'm like, I'll never get that again. And this stuff really gets to me. And I have really tried to work on it because I feel like it was taking up space in my brain on our little honeymoon, you know, like time. I'm just like, I'm wasting time thinking about this stuff that I can't change.

[A]

I think when you're somebody who identifies as being very high functioning, you and I don't make a lot of mistakes. You know, I think you and I are juggling like a thousand balls at all times. I'm really proud to say we don't really drop them that often. Like, even when something goes wrong, I'm like, I'm 90% sure it's not my fault. And I read this quote, it's just said, like, you can't apply today's literacy to yesterday's version of yourself. And like, yeah, you might have like made quote unquote mistakes at your wedding, but like, you hadn't had the wedding already, like, you wouldn't have made those mistakes. Had you already been an expert at having your own wedding?

[B]

Yeah. And I mean, mistakes. Sometimes I feel like there are mistakes. Sometimes I just am like, why didn't I think of that? You know? And I am working on it because it's no way to live. And I was making some notes this morning and I put together a three step program of self talk. So this is my three step program for managing your micro regret. So my first course of action is reframing. And this is what I want to do. This is always the goal is to say this happened for a reason and it's for the best. So I forgot this thing or I didn't do this thing or whatever it is, but it worked out how it's supposed to. So it's good that I made the mistake and you can reframe that and move on. This is what I try to do. But if I can't get there, I move on to step two, which is the obvious. Is there something I can correct? Is there anything I can do about this? And if there is, I do it. If there's not, then there's step three. And that is just, you have to move on. You are human. You will do better next time. And that's the thing, like, we're not perfect. We, like you said, learn new information every day. And so I really just have to stop beating myself up. And you know, it's. I feel like I'm trying to snap the rubber band. Like, stop it, stop it, stop, stop thinking like this. Like, snap out of it. And I think that talking this stuff out is really great too. You have to get it out of your body. Like, you have to let this leave your body. So if I can tell you or tell Shashank, like, I'm having regret about this thing and I'm beating myself up over it. And you know, I think that really, really helps too. And I just think, just try to be gentle on yourself and tell yourself everything is a learning experience. And, and no one is perfect. And these mistakes or these regrets that we have is how we learn and understand ourselves and do better.

[A]

I think, I think it's great, great three step program.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

I hate when people say, just get over it. I think it's really reductive. I think it's like, yeah, I thought of that. I thought of just getting over it. And I would have gotten over it if that was an option right there this second, but I can't. I think it's okay to marinate on a mistake every once in a while and say Like, I can get better at this. I can learn from this. You know, I think it's good to have like a healthy relationship to marinating on something you would do better next time. And I have learned a lot by making mistakes. I have made all the mistakes. You know, you and I are really good at what we do today because we've made mistakes. And I have a support system that will allow me to talk about those things and that know that I'm not doing anything maliciously or on purpose. You know, if I, if there was an oversight, it's cause I was juggling 15 other things. Like I hope the people around me are kind and understand that. Cause I'm gonna be kind to them. And I, I guess that's all I have to say about it. I just, you know, this happens to everybody. Everybody's human. And I dwell on things like I should have said on the podcast. I should have framed this a different way. Like in an eight year period, I've pissed some people off in my life about things I've said and I wished I could have gone back. And why didn't we just edit this out of the episode? Me personally, like, why didn't I say, let's take this out? And I've just learned to be better, kinder, softer. It's. Maybe every one of those mistakes has made me like a much more understanding, kind, soft human.

[B]

Yeah. And we get to talk about things like that, which is the best part about having a business partner. And we do the same thing and we go through a lot of the same problems and issues and we can talk about them with each other. And that's my biggest thing is just get it, get it out of your body. I mean this, this is not, it's not important. It's not like I'm gatekeeping, but I just had a regret about my wedding with my mom and something that we didn't really do. Photograph and I could not let it go. And I just finally like, I texted her, like, I'm just kind of having regret about this. And she was like, you know, I am too, but it's fine. And then I was like, I'm not, it's not out of me yet. And I called her. I was sobbing and I was just like literally like sobbing like someone died. I just had to like let this go. And I, afterwards, I felt so much better. She was like, it's okay, sweetie's fine. It's. You're feeling, you're overreacting a little bit. But I just had to like like, get it. It felt overreactive to a smallest thing, but I just needed to release it.

[A]

But you're talking about a moment you'll never get back. Those things are really hard to negotiate with. I think those are some of the. I can move past shame. I think I can, I can move past like bad habits. Even like, you know, then I. Then I compare myself to other people. It accelerates the regret. But like a moment I can't get back is always really tough to wrestle with. And I think a lot of people have that with their weddings and especially with photos specifically. I mean, that's the most. I think I heard my brother and my sister in law talk about the wedding afterwards was like, we didn't get this photo.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And we'll never get it again. Yeah. So you guys submitted your biggest regrets and I think we should go through some of them and reframe them. But let's talk about our partners first.

[A]

Okay. So as people who are on tour and we're busy podcasters, it is a game changer to have our weekly food shopping taken care of with hungryroot. And hungryroot plans meals for the whole week. It shops for you, it delivers everything. It'll fit into your health goals, dietary preferences and budget. So it's really highly personalized. When you go on the hungry root website, you'll see they're gonna help you like eat well and reach all your goals. So if you're gluten free, you're dairy free, high protein, if you have kids at home, if you're focused on gut health, you're gonna take this quiz and they have this smart card technology and it'll recommend recipes and ingredients tailored to your tastes and needs. And I love this so much cause I think that like our bodies change over time, our health changes over time, even with the weather. Like I just need different things in the summer than I need in the winter. And it'll help recommend all those things. There's tons of variety. So unlike other food companies, they have over 50,000 chef crafted recipes to choose from each week. And they're gonna compile that and give you the ingredients for everything. The quality is fantastic. They screen out over 200 additives and there are just so many preservatives and corn syrup and artificial sweeteners and so many products and they screen for all that. And now that it's just like the holiday season, a busy time of year, you have less time and just available brain power in general for grocery shopping and meal planning. So hungry not only Saves up money for gifts by cutting down on food waste, but it also can save you a trip to the store in the cold.

[B]

I love it. I love the meals that I've gotten from them. I know. I love everything they do. I'm really picky about proteins and the proteins are all really quality and fresh. The vegetables I've made incredible tacos, pastas like a chicken with sides like a nice healthy meal. I mean, if eating healthier is on your New Year's resolutions, like, this is the best way to start. And again, I cannot hype the time saving enough from not going to the grocery store in the cold.

[A]

We've been in New York. I really am struggling. Okay, well, you guys can take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time. Get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for Life. Go to hungryroot.com GGE and use the code GGE that's hungryroot.com GGE code GGE to get 40 off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

[B]

And Nutrafol. Okay, if you are dealing with any sort of hair issues or someone you know, this can make a great gift or just again, something that you might want to do in the new year is really take back control of your hair. If you're dealing with thinning, shedding, hair health, Nutrafol has a proactive approach to target the root causes so you can see improved hair growth, decreased shedding, visible thickness while taking Nutrafol. I've been taking this for years. I take the women's form, four capsules daily. I never go on a trip without it. I have my pill case and I do my four capsules. I never skip a day. It is so, so important to me and I really have seen such an improvement. Neutrophil is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people. You can see thicker, stronger, faster, growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months this holiday season. Neutrophil is the perfect gift for anyone on your list. Your mom or your aunt going through menopause, a friend who just had a baby and is experiencing postpartum hair shedding, your husband or father who relies on his baseball hat to cover up yourself, or anyone looking to support their overall hair health. So, you know, we still have some some days left to give a gift if you guys are looking for that. But again, just for yourself, this is something we really recommend trying in the new year and just improving the overall look and feel of your hair. So you can give the gift of confidence this holiday season with Nutrafol. Whether you're treating yourself or someone on your list visibly healthier, thicker hair is the gift that keeps on giving. Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription, plus free shipping. When you go to nutrafold.com and use promo code GG10. That's nutraful.com promo code GG10 for $10 off.

[A]

Okay, and Quince? I mean, what can't Quince do? Their website is amazing. If you want to do gifting for literally anyone in your life, your parents, your spouse, friends, yourself, they pretty much have the whole list covered in terms of gift giving. So they have luggage, which I really love. They have these Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at $50 that you'd normally pay more than 200 for. Ashlyn, I have tons of them. I have it as a cardigan. I have it as a turtleneck. I have these jeans that I just got. Ooh, they're the Bella Stretch relaxed straight jeans. They come in like five colors. I linked it on my Instagram. It's the most clicks I've ever gotten on any piece of clothing ever. And I think that they were like, originally $230. Quint has them for $50. The prices are unbelievable on Quint's for the quality that you get. Like, I can't believe it.

[B]

That travel outfit is the most clicks I've ever gotten, too. It's the fleece, like, wide leg pant with the crew neck sweatshirt. It's gray and I travel in it every time. So I need to get it in black because I'm just wearing it out. It still just feels like it's brand new because their quality is that good. But it is. It's so comfy. Like, it's a perfect travel outfit.

[A]

Yes. So that's actually. I love that. As a gift for somebody.

[B]

Yes. 100.

[A]

And it's just like anything comfy, cozy. They also have coats and they work with trusted factories that maintain high standards. And they're able to sort of cut out the middle band and all these markups. So prices are unbelievable. You guys can find goods so good, you'll want to keep them at quince. Go to quince.comgge for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e quince.comGGE to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comGGE okay, so our audience submitted some.

[B]

Of their regrets from the year on Instagram.

[A]

And we'll lap up with accomplishments at the end. Yeah, but I just want to say, like, as I was scrolling through these regrets, quote unquote from our audience, that I just saw the same things, like, we saw the same things come up over and over and over again. And I hope you guys find comfort in that, that we're all going through this stuff. And whether it's money or relationships or jobs, I mean, this just came up over and over and over again. We'll break down each one individually, but so many people are exactly where you are today. And then I read the list of accomplishments, and I was like, wow, how many people, like, pushed through these exact issues, regrets, problems, and, like, had a totally different year the following year. And I was really inspired by it.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And I just. I find a lot of comfort that so many people are in the same place, feeling the same way. And, like, we're all. We're all similar.

[B]

Yeah. And we just change so much. I mean, we've always said when people say you've changed, it's like, that's the point. That's the growth we're talking about. But. But I used to feel it like, you know, year over year. Five years ago. Yeah. I was a different person, you know, at my core. And my values and stuff have stayed the same. But things I may have, like, said or done, I wouldn't do today, or I've just changed my mind on things. And like, now it's. I mean, it can be week to week. I can't believe I thought that last week, you know, like, we just change. And so a lot of it was, like, staying in a relationship or a job that you didn't want to stay in. And our relationship timelines, I. I think we should trust them and that we will get to where we want to be and we'll find the person. And so when you find that person, if that's what you want, you may not, which is fine, but if you want that and you find them, you'll look back and know that everything made sense. And the years you spent with this person or months or whatever it was that you regret all played into the timeline that got you where you are today. I mean, if you were with somebody you knew was wrong for a decade. All right, I'll give you that. I'll give you that regret, because you should. When you know something's not right, you should get out of it. And we tell you to trust your gut. But if you were in it, in the moment, and you only knew what you knew, and you look back and you're beating yourself up, what's the point of that? Like, we've all been through, why was.

[A]

I with that guy?

[B]

How could I have wasted my time? And I understand beating yourself up if you knew it was wrong and you stayed. So that's the whole thing. Like, first, like, look for the signs and use our podcasts and the advice and guidance that we've given. And trust yourself, of course. But you were in it, and that's what you wanted at the time. So you can't look back with regret.

[A]

I can't beat myself up for the relationships I had that ended. Cause I have to reframe it as, like, look at all the stuff I got from this. And whether you met new friends or you learned something about yourself, or maybe you just became more patient, became more kind. Maybe you learned that you have harder boundaries than you're feeling what you don't want.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I look back at one relationship in particular and him blaming me so much in the end, and I actually think if I could go back and do it again, I would be worse and I would have harder, stricter boundaries. And, you know, maybe you made friends through this or learned something. Maybe you just had a couple years of really great sex. Like, whatever it was, I try to just be grateful for that moment in time. I had what I needed at the time. And we can outgrow those things. It's fine that you aren't exactly who you were five years ago. None of us are. If you're still with the person you were with 20 years ago, that's amazing. You guys grew together. But I don't know. That's everybody's story. And it's okay to change your mind. So. I try to not beat myself up.

[B]

About relationships and jobs, too. I mean, you were asking me was I ever in a job I regretted. I mean, I've had a different type of career. It's been, you know, weirdly makes sense, but kind of also looks a little chaotic. And I think about this one time I was in a toxic relationship, which I felt like was causing me to lose a little bit of my confidence and security and not trusting myself. And I took on this. It was freelance. I mean, I was working for myself, but I should have stuck with what I was doing and really doubled down on it. But I. I think due to the relationship, was just having doubts about everything and didn't think I Could and didn't think it was going to be successful. And so I did this other thing which took a lot of my time and energy and focus and I didn't like it. And I did that for six months and I would say that was one of the unhappiest periods of my life because of my off and on relationship because of that. And I was like why'd I do that? Like I could have used those six months to build the other thing I was working on that was doing great. Like, I don't know, I was operating from that scarcity mindset and just having a lot of self doubt and, and that is a reason why I think never be in that type of relationship. They change who we are and they really cause us to lose that, lose our sense of self and our confidence. But I, I, I regret it for a while cause I was like I really could have done a lot more with that six months but it's what it is, it's, I made a choice and I got out when I needed to. And I mean I think people stay at jobs for years and I don't know where are you now? Are you happy where you are now? Maybe not also, but then figure out how to get out of that then like the regret is not productive. And this is the self talk I'm having myself too.

[A]

Your career and your relationship are probably the two things you define yourself by the most in your life. Most people do. And it's really hard to extricate yourself from those things. And you should be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. Your job gives you stability and money and something to do every day. Your relationship is something you've probably built a lot of community around. Maybe you live with that person, maybe you have a dog with that person. Maybe you're really integrated into their family and their friend group and if, if you took a little longer to weave yourself out of this, that's okay. These are really hard things to leave. And I think so many people are like, I didn't leave my toxic boyfriend for so long. There was probably a lot of good there. I'm sure every single second wasn't terrible. I'm sure you just had a lot of community built in there and jobs too. Like people can't just up and leave their jobs. You need money, you need to pay your bills and maybe you have a non compete. Maybe it's just hard to find something in this job market is really hard. I took a job Amazon and I wanted it so badly and I worked so hard to get it? And the interview process was like, three months long, and I got it. And week one, I was like, oh, no, I have made a huge mistake. But I didn't have money to, like, leave this job. I couldn't just, like, say bye to this. I had to negotiate with myself, like, can I do this for a year? Can I emotionally manage this? Is this gonna be.

[B]

And I did.

[A]

I did it for exactly one year. That's what I could handle.

[B]

But.

[A]

But, yeah, I beat myself up thinking, like, why didn't I really think more deeply about this? Did I want to work at this really hyper corporate company that takes three months to hire somebody? And there's a lot of great things about working at Amazon, and I beat it up a lot. There were great things about it. There were. But it was wrong for me.

[B]

Well, it was that part of it too, where you're like, I should have known myself better. That's where I really beat myself up is like, I consider myself self aware. I have a strong sense of self. I know myself. Why did I do that? This isn't aligned with me. And then you're beating yourself up on a different level. You're like, you don't even know yourself. Like, I really. I'm not in my 20s. I'm not. I should be able to navigate my life better and make better decisions. And so that's another layer of regret.

[A]

But I think you're a lot of times choosing between, like, two things. Like, neither of them are an easy choice. And actually the Amazon thing, I don't even know if I ever told you this, but there was this crazy expose in the New York Times about how negative of a work environment it was. And they interviewed dozens of people that had worked there. And this went on for pages and pages. And it was like right after I had accepted the job, and I was like, I should have heeded these warnings. But I thought, okay, journalism, yes. You're gonna find in a company like Amazon and what hundreds of thousands of employees, you're gonna find disgruntled employees and people that had a bad time. And I thought, like, I should have read. I should have, like, listened to this a little bit more. But I don't know. It's a huge company and a huge salary, and I wanted it and I did it for as long as I could deal with it. And I don't have any regrets. Regrets looking back now, because it put me where I was.

[B]

Exactly. I mean, I do think warning signs are important, but sometimes not. You know, my first New York City Apartment, everybody said, do not live there. Do not live there. The slum lord, he's getting sued for tenant harassment. There's caution tape on every other door on your floor. There's every single permit violation on the front of the building. I was like, I'm going to do.

[A]

It justice for people that just need to figure it out themselves. Okay. You know, I have no regrets. That first apartment, that's where we started the podcast. I mean, I do think that those regrets really haunt you. Not the one of living your apartment. Like, things that, like, everybody around you was like, don't do this.

[B]

But that is true. I think that's an exception to the rule. Why that situation? I'm just kind of like, making a joke. But I saw this on here that says not moving sooner. And I feel that I'm going to guess this person is happy where they're at because they wish they would have moved there sooner. I'm going to just read between the lines. And I felt this. I mean, I lived in Atlanta. I think I stayed way too long. I. I really had a great time there. But I was there for 11 years, and if my life could be exactly the same now, yeah, I would have shaved off a couple years. I'd be a little younger now. I would have moved to New York. I would have met you, but I would not change a thing. Like, I really was like, why did I stay that long? I should have moved to New York City. But I wanted to wait until I had a. The right amount of money to live. To move to New York and live on my own in my 30s. And if anything would have changed, I wouldn't have met you and we wouldn't have. So I have to tell myself that and that that was an easy one. That was my step, one of regret, where it's just like, this worked out the way it was supposed to be. I have to trust this timing. But I thought about that a lot of, like, why did I stay there so long? You know, I was meant to be in New York.

[A]

I mean, you know, I think about. What is it called? Not red string theory, the other one. The chain of events that puts you somewhere.

[B]

Butterfly effect. Butterfly. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I. I think about, like, moving to la and I'm struggling with being there because I really want to be back in New York. And I'm just like, why did I do this? Even though I deeply love la, my decision to not want to live in LA has actually nothing to do with me not loving la.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

I love my house. I Love the weather. I love everything we do there. I love the food. And I've been, like, you know, kind of beating myself up. Like, would our career be different today if we hadn't moved there? And I have to be grateful that, like, this has given me the time to write. And I'm really. I'm bored out of my mind. And so I actually, like, put that towards, like, some creative energy. And, like, I used that time, and I probably wouldn't have had that time in New York because we go out so much, I stay up so late, I drink so much more when I'm here. Like, I became, like, a healthier, more clear version of myself.

[B]

I mean, it's crazy because I love to come back to New York and I feel so energized and inspired and so busy in the best way. But. But I cannot sleep at night. I can't turn my brain off. I. When we moved to la, night one fell right asleep and haven't stopped in three years. Like, I have a different brain. And if we move back here, which, that's a big if, but for me, but I'll work through it. But I don't think I would have met Shashank. I mean, Shashank lived on the East Coast. I'd met him, I'd met him before, but I don't think I would have been with him if I hadn't moved to LA and rewired myself in these certain ways. And I love la. I. I, like, love New York and I love la. I was watching I Love LA last night while I was looking at, like, the Freedom Tower, and I was like, I love both. But it changed me in a way that I think I needed. It really slowed me down and softened me, and I really feel, like, helped me choose this person and be with him. And I get emotional thinking about it because it really. It felt important. And I think I'm thinking about that as I'm trying to sleep at night. Of, like, man, I just. My brain works differently here.

[A]

Yeah, it really allowed me to, like, pause and slow down in a way that I, like, really needed less stress. I think. Like, did I waste the last few years of my 30s in LA? And I could have been here running around more, and I'm a little more tired than I used to be, but it gave me what I needed at the time. And I really was sort of done with New York at that point. I needed to slow down. I wanted to, like, take a break, and I made the decisions that I needed to make for myself at that time, you know.

[B]

Yeah. There are some on here that are just. They're small things. And I think, you know, you guys are funny too. And you've submitted some things that made us laugh, like not being as petty as 50 Cent. There's. I didn't have more threesomes. Slept with a loser who ghosted me. And gossiping with the wrong people. All this stuff is just learning. This is stuff we all do. And you're better for it after you learn the lesson. We have. We've talking to a friend. She's a trustworthy friend. We really love her. But she was like, I want to stop, like, talking about certain things with certain people. You just. You. You learn. You know, we. We love to talk shit, but I catch myself sometimes of like, we've talked too much shit at this dinner. You know, Like, I don't want this to be the defining experience people have with me is gossiping. Yeah. Even though I love to do it. And again, you. You live and learn. And ignoring red flags you clearly saw that's like the. Something like that is just like, you've learned, though. Now you see them.

[A]

Red flags are tough. Cause I think it's hard to. It's hard to move past that. Cause I think most of us feel like I'm too grown. I have too much information. I'm better than this. I've seen this before. Like, why did I. And I'm the first person to say, like, I've. I've had a podcast about dating and relationships for eight years. You and I have had the foremost experts in every corner of the field of dating and relationships. On this podcast. I make. I make mistakes in relationships all the time, and I ignore red flags. And I beat myself up for it. Specifically, like something that happened this year with somebody, and I'm like, I'm. I'm 40 years old. I do this for a living. Like, I have the information and I fuck up, you know?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I hope that makes you guys feel better.

[B]

Yeah. There's a big one on here that you should regret, and that is missed out on Ashley's tour.

[A]

I thought you'd like that one.

[B]

Yeah. So you can watch my special and then go to Raina is not. Should be good enough. Can Venmo me. Just kidding. Venmo someone else in need. I mean. Mean, there's. I feel these, though. Like, not having enough fun being on my phone too much. This is something too that I'm always working on. And just this is the first step is feeling this and being able to make the change and let an ugly guy hit it because that was such a dip in my aura. We all have dips in our aura. Sent a follow up email to a co worker who died two months prior. I don't know where that email went. And then lastly, no regrets. Not even one.

[A]

We got a lot of those. And I really like that. And I, I like that a lot of our audience is like, I don't regret shit.

[B]

Yeah. And before we go into the accomplishments, I just do want to talk about changing your mind. And I think that's been a theme that we've woven throughout this conversation. But we love to change our mind and it's just human. And I think of myself as a reliable, stable person. I really do. But I do be changing my mind. And, you know, when we, we'd been in LA for about a year and we thought we wanted to move back to New York and then we told everybody and we, we told Tessa and Anna and our team and then we changed our mind and it was. We had to go back to everybody and tell them. And I don't know how much we've talked about this deeply, but we were gonna move with Tessa. I mean, we did tell her. I mean, she had told her parents. I mean, it was hard. I mean, we were really distraught over, like, why did we do this to people? And we. Better than just being like, well, we told people, so now we gotta do it. You know, I'm. I really think we wanted to stay in la. And I know maybe you feel differently now, but things like that, I mean, I was like, am I gonna hate my wedding dress in six months? Like, I'd be changing my mind and. Should I marry this person? I'm kidding. No. But I have to.

[A]

You can get out of that.

[B]

Totally. Yeah.

[A]

We're not even married.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're. Honestly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not even in it yet.

[B]

But then I look at the relationships of my life I've had my whole life. We've been in business for eight years. Like, I can trust myself and people can rely on me and I'm stable and secure, but I just. It's okay to change your mind. We are all human. It is okay to make a big decision that you felt totally confident in and change your mind on that.

[A]

Don't buy a house. I think you should be pretty secure that you want to live somewhere for a super long time. I bought that house and I was.

[B]

Like, but it's hard to know that too. Like, I'm out here, 42 years old, still renting like, I don't know where I want to be. Like, I'm ready to settle down, like, and that the house thing is huge. Like, I get it, you want to have roots, you want a forever home, you want to, to stop renting. But it's just like, how do you know? How are we supposed to know?

[A]

I just, now I have to be like, I have to use the resources available to me to deal with this. And, you know, I bought and furnished a three bedroom house at the beach. Now I'm like, I would like to live in a small one bedroom apartment in New York. What do you do? But I will deal with it. I'll deal with it. I dug this grave and I'll deal with it. I mean, there's worse things than owning a home, I guess. You know, I am really proud of it. It's an investment.

[B]

But I think you were upset about a boy and you bought a home.

[A]

I did. I really. I brought a machine gun to a tickle fight. I should have just gotten bangs and.

[B]

Oh, my God, I feel like that's a tag from the special. Yeah, I mean, sorry, that's a tag from the tour.

[A]

Yeah, I wrote that line. But it's so funny. Sometimes I tell people lines. I'm like, I wrote this. Can people tell that I already wrote this?

[B]

I can tell. You can tell. Like, you can tell I'm doing a bit too quick.

[A]

Yeah. A lot of people said I didn't socialize enough. I didn't have sex, I didn't date enough. Life is long.

[B]

Do it, do it again.

[A]

Do it this year, do it tomorrow. Starting tomorrow is still starting, you know, And I've had years where all those things ebbed and flowed. And I've had years where I have social. I always socialize a lot, but I'm not. I don't want to, but I do. But dating sex, like, every year is totally different and ebbs and flows and like, that's the easiest thing to start. Fire up a dating app, go on a date tomorrow. And if you don't feel like it, if you think that other people think you should, if this is a projection, like, if you just enjoyed being at home, at the house, and not having a person in your life, romantically or not socializing, you can also honor that and lean into that.

[B]

Yes. Like, do you feel bad because your friends or your family or society is telling you you should, or did you want to do that at the time?

[A]

Yeah, I like being on the couch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to do anything.

[B]

I Think. Yeah.

[A]

And I've leaned into it.

[B]

Okay, so should we talk about our audience's biggest accomplishments?

[A]

I felt so emotional going through these. Like, I know we thank you guys all the time, but, like, this audience just blows us away by how smart and caring and amazing you are and thoughtful and funny and accomplished. And I felt, like, emotional reading every single one. Like, every engagement, every marriage, every person that got pregnant when they tried to so hard for so long or left a job or started a business. I felt like, like, so proud of our audience.

[B]

We have the best audience in podcasting. We do. Hands down.

[A]

Everybody says, yeah.

[B]

And, like, last week, we were talking about, like, don't judge other people. And there's nuance. No, every other audience is not as good as ours. I will say that with my whole chest. There's no nuance needed. It's ours. Hands down.

[A]

We've never done a show and had, like, performers on the show that every person wasn't like, I can't believe what your audience is like.

[B]

That's why I'm trying to come to Reina Store just to see all y'. All. Yeah, catch me in the crowd. I'm just gonna be sitting in the crowd, distracting.

[A]

One show. You were like, do I have to host this? I was like, nah, just come chill.

[B]

Just come chill. You just did. Tell me. You were like, so, Miami, it's gonna be me, you, and Brittany. I'm like, who's hosting this shit? Yeah, I'm. The fact that I'm gonna be your host, I mean, I will be glad to do it, but that's the lowest rung.

[A]

Just so you guys know, Honestly, it's the highest honor. You could saunter out there with a cocktail and then sit back down.

[B]

Well, the thing with hosting is that you. You are in control. You set the tone, and you're in control. I mean, but that's. This is, like, comedy talk of, like, how important a host is, and, like, people don't want to do it because, like, low level. And it's just like, you set the tone. You are in charge.

[A]

I hosted for you in Phoenix at a great time.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Love the host, but, yes. I just. I was blown away by this audience and how amazing they are. So we'll start it off. Quit my job, and I bought a company.

[B]

What company? I love that.

[A]

I know. Should we invest?

[B]

Let us know. Okay. I am down to the final $1,000 of being completely debt free. Oh, I feel that.

[A]

I know. That must be so nice.

[B]

I know. Like, when you get it down to three digits.

[A]

I mean, some of these were, like, really, like, really got me. A lot of people just said, like, I. I kept going. Like, like, when I. This girl said she, like, survived her first year without her mom, or like, that their life was terrible, or they finally extricated themselves from a marriage. That was terrible, and they survived their first year of being single or without their pet. Those things really hit me in the chest. It's such a huge accomplishment when those thoughts. When you're thinking something 100 times a day and you finally think about it 98 times a day, what an accomplishment. I forgot.

[B]

Really. Oh, I know. I mean, really upset.

[A]

Just happy for you guys, but choked up.

[B]

And every time I read something, like, I kept going. When this tragedy happened and I just push through. I'm like a woman.

[A]

Oh, yeah. None of these are men.

[B]

I mean, our audience is primarily women, but it's such a female trait.

[A]

Anyway, people said, I passed the New York bar. I got my Ph.D. pass the bar.

[B]

Kim could never. Kim Kardashian could never. Did she pass the bar?

[A]

No. I thought there was, like, a little ceremony or something.

[B]

Okay. We have pregnant people stuff.

[A]

We have a lot of pregnant people stuff.

[B]

Growing, birthing, and feeding a baby. While pursuing my PhD in infectious disease research. Only a woman. Only a woman survived my miscarriage. Again, these are these things that really just. You're thinking, like, how am I going to get through this?

[A]

And then you do two and three rounds of ivf. I mean, even one round is really just such an accomplishment.

[B]

Started a whole new career at 27 after my last one sucked the life out of me. That's the time to do it.

[A]

We got a lot of 27, 28 left. My job. That's the time to do it. Somebody said, I returned to work after maternity leave, and I fucking crushed it. That is hard. I can't even imagine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Lost 93 pounds.

[B]

Congrats.

[A]

I mean, people just be on their fitness. And if you're not. If you're excited to gain £90, also proud of you.

[B]

Do your thing. I'm cancer free. We always love to see that. We get that every time we ask something like this. Our really good friend who we've talked about her cancer journey a lot, just every time cancer free, she gets those scans back and she always tells us, and it's just like, I just love it because I'm not checking in. Hey, you cancer free. I like that she sends this.

[A]

Yeah, me too. Me too. Had my first and second threesome.

[B]

Oh, okay. Yeah, she needs to talk to the girl that said her regret was not having enough threesomes. They should connect, trade tips.

[A]

I had sex the first time in three years. That is a hard streak to break.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I think you're like, it's been so long. You know what? It's just like riding a bike. You can take breaks. You will still know how to do it.

[B]

Raina can't ride a bike, so I don't know why she's speaking on this, but she's. It is from. From my experience, I don't know what.

[A]

The analogy would be for other people.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. My partner passed away last year and I finally started dating again. I don't even just know what to say.

[A]

That just.

[B]

That's just like, crushed me. Yeah. So congrats to her for getting back out there after something like that. Quit my job to take an offer that pays less but gets closer to what I want. I mean, I just, I love to hear that, you know, because again, like I was talking about, there's just so much greed. So many people are motivated by only money or only power, just how much money they can make. And it's just, you know, this sounds like something that. That's maybe in the career path that you want, or it's just gonna make you happier, even if it is less money.

[A]

When I was in my early 20s, I was working at a restaurant group. It was fine. And I got this opportunity to work for Danny Meyer, and he owns Shake Shack most famously, but he owns tons of restaurants in New York. And he's really known for being really philanthropic and just top down, just a really great company to work for and a good person, and the people there are just wonderful. And I accepted way less money to go work for him at the time. And it made all the difference. I mean, it taught me. He single handedly taught me how to hire people. And I think it's so important. It has set the path for me in terms of who we've let into the company and how I coach people and how you and I just raise them up. And I learned all my lessons from him in terms of how to manage employees, and I made way less money. And it changed my life.

[B]

But that's the value. Those lessons are valuable. So it's. Sometimes people don't think like that. I mean, again, you need what you need to get by. But I think people really struggle with that. Like maybe. I mean, we have someone who works for us, and she was between working for us and an offer that was with a much larger company and they could offer her the biggest. One of the bigger. One of the bigger ones, one of the big three. And what they. We couldn't offer her what they could offer her on a lot of different levels. I mean, there's no comparison. And she wanted to work for us. We couldn't believe it.

[A]

Really.

[B]

There's no way we're gonna get her. And she wanted to work for a company where she felt like she had an impact, but also a better work life balance and be at home with her son.

[A]

Yeah. It is really an honor. Or chase after that money, you know, whatever you guys want to do.

[B]

Yeah. Well, thank you guys as always for sharing your lives with us, whether it's your regrets or your accomplishments. And we have loved another year with you.

[A]

Yeah. And congratulations for all these huge accomplishments. And if you feel like you've regrets from last year, I hope you're inspired by these people that accomplished all this. And every year is a new year. Every day is a new day. And we just thank you for coming back really week after week and giving up to your ears and your time and your energy and we just love you guys. We're really grateful. Yeah.

[B]

Happy New Year, Raina Greenberg. Actually, Merry Christmas. If you guys celebrate.

[A]

If you guys want to follow along this week, actually on the 24th, we're doing the appetizer competition at Ashley's brother's house. I'm really excited. Your brother really came to win. I actually might be rethinking making my entry. Not too hard. But we do it every year at Ashley's family. They do an appetizer competition. So follow along on the 24th. That'll be really fun. And we'll just be at your parents house doing fun stuff.

[B]

Yeah. So we're excited for Christmas and whatever New Year's is gonna be. I don't know, I might be kind of a bus this year.

[A]

I don't know what we're doing.

[B]

I don't know. Nobody's in town. Whatever. Happy New Year, you guys.

[A]

Honestly, I'm fine to stay inside. I like being in the house.

[B]

And girlsgotteat.com you can head there, but not too much going on over there. So head to renagreenberg.com and check out tickets for Reyna's tour. We are girls gotta eat. Podcast on Instagram and TikTok, of course, YouTube. You can watch every episode in full. Share this episode with a friend and we will see you in 2026.

[A]

Yes. We love you. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy holidays. Thank you for an amazing 2025.