How to Understand Men Better…Through Their D*cks with Author Kristina Denton

Summary

Girls Gotta Eat: "How to Understand Men Better…Through Their D*cks"

Guest: Kristina Denton (Author, Actor, Screenwriter, Producer)
Episode Date: June 22, 2026
Main Theme:
A candid, comedic, and eye-opening deep dive into men’s emotional worlds—specifically as revealed through their relationship to their penises—featuring insights from Kristina Denton’s year treating hundreds of men for erectile dysfunction. The episode explores vulnerability, shame, relationship shifts, sexual dynamics, gender stereotypes, and how we support (or stigmatize) men and each other in dating, sex, and life.

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Episode Overview

Ashley and Raina welcome Kristina Denton, memoirist and former erectile dysfunction clinic technician, to discuss her new book You Don’t Know Dick, which draws on her unique, up-close experience with hundreds of male patients. Through humor and empathy, the trio explore why men’s anxieties about their masculinity often come out through their genitals, what women can learn from that, and how both sexes can better communicate around one of our most taboo topics. From shocking therapy machines to shocking revelations, this episode is about breaking shame—one dick at a time.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origins & Purpose of Kristina’s Book

• Kristina’s Background: Grew up in rural CA, always wanted to perform and tell stories (28:01). Her acting career led her into odd jobs, including working at a wellness spa, which pivoted to an ED (erectile dysfunction) clinic after hearing about shockwave therapy on a Joe Rogan podcast (32:23).
• Why Write About Dicks?: Initially drawn by the absurdity, but realized she had a “front row seat to male shame, to the thing they are the most terrified of—the definition of what makes them a man is broken.” (00:00, 40:55)
• Notable quote: “Men came to me looking for physical solutions to emotional wounds.” – Kristina (41:06)

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2. The Job: Treating ED and Dealing With Men’s Vulnerability

• The Clinic Experience: Kristina was the only technician, treating up to 10 men a day, 5 days a week, during a year when ED clinics were brand new in LA (62:50). She estimates over 400 men came through her hands (pun intended) (65:13).
• The Procedure: Shockwave therapy—noninvasive soundwaves delivered via a hand-held device to the shaft, groin, taint, and perineum. Six sessions per patient, with penis pumps as “homework” (44:59).
• Notable quote: “We were one of the first clinics, if not the first, in LA. People were flying in from other states... It was the wild west of dick fixing.” – Kristina (62:50)
• Awkward Moments: Men often got erections unintentionally due to lack of sensation from numbing cream; one memorable session involved a fly landing and sticking to a patient’s gelled penis (54:47).
• Clients’ Reactions: Most were humbled by the experience, some tried bravado or deflection (“so what does your boyfriend think of this?”). Kristina leveraged humor and empathy to put them at ease, noting, “I held all the power in the room, but I had to check my own ego, too.” (66:54–67:30)

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3. What Women Can Learn About (and From) Men

• How Men Experience Shame: Kristina realized that, “They are just as emotional and vulnerable and screwed up as we are as women. They just can’t talk about it.” (40:55)
• Cultural Taboos: Most men don’t talk about ED with partners, friends, or even some doctors—some are prescribed a pill without any exploration of psychological or lifestyle factors (57:28).
• “Big Dick Energy” & Stereotypes: There was no direct correlation between a man’s penis size and his confidence or “energy.” Some small men had huge dicks, some tall men did not; most size fears are psychological (71:16).
  • “Some of the smallest, littlest men have the giantest sausages.” – Kristina (71:16)

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4. Relationship and Gender Reflections

• How Relationship Dynamics Affect Sex: Many male patients had ED tied to emotional issues: grief, fear of aging, emasculation in their relationships, or literal trauma. Kristina notes, “Often, ED is a precursor for heart disease—your dick is trying to save your life.” (50:19)
• Women as Both Source of Healing and Hurt: She describes moments of seeing men deeply hurt by indifferent or infidelitous partners, challenging her own bias that only men can cause harm in relationships (74:29).
• Notable quote: “I learned that men could hurt the same way that we do, and women can hurt men with the same precision.” – Kristina (74:10)
• Living in the Messy Middle: Kristina learned to hold “two truths”—not every relationship is black-and-white and both partners can be at fault or victims (79:41).

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5. Navigating Personal Boundaries & Growth

• Hosts’ Reflection on Oversharing: Ashley and Raina address listener feedback about the show being more private now than in the past. They speak honestly about the evolution from “wild dating” to more privacy as they enter new life stages (10:03–18:34).
• Notable quote: “We can’t please everyone... There will always be people that have a problem with what you do.” – Raina (20:42)
• Notable quote: “People critique a show for evolving over 8.5 years. I’m so proud of it. I could not be more proud of the evolution…” – Raina (11:50)

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6. Practical Advice for Listeners

• If Your Partner Has ED: “Don’t make it about you. Create safety for them to talk about it. Focus on solutions—lifestyle, exercise, penis pumps—not just medication. Work as a team.” – Kristina (60:53–62:21)
• Sexless Relationships: Kristina shares candidly about a long relationship where lack of sex was a dealbreaker, even as she was “fixing dicks” for a living. It was less about ED and more about emotional barriers, stress, and mismatched needs (81:00).
• Notable quote: “I didn’t want a puppy dog—I wanted the man who will throw me up against the wall and fuck my brains out, but then also cuddle with me after. That’s what I wanted.” – Kristina (85:06)

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7. Kristina’s Life After the Clinic

• Marriage & Masculinity: Now married, Kristina’s husband is a retired Army Ranger facing his own identity crisis after leaving the military, and Kristina applies the very compassion she developed in the clinic to help him (85:24–86:34).
• “If I didn’t learn how to have grace for men’s suffering, I didn’t learn anything from this book.” – Kristina (86:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Part of me was like, is this just gonna be like, men have feelings too? But you made it funny, deep, and real.” – Raina (30:05)
• “I started feeling this conviction to normalize the conversation... The taboo around sexual dysfunction and shame—it needs to end.” – Kristina (52:00)
• “Big trucks, small dicks—yes, sometimes. The Venn diagram... and those cybertrucks especially!” – Ashley, joking (69:31)
• “Would you say I have that kind of power? At any moment, I could shock your balls.” – Kristina, on men’s bravado (67:30)
• “Women can be villains too—like, that was the first time where I was like, oh, my God.” – Kristina (76:24)
• “Most men just want to feel normal. They don’t know this is so common.” – Kristina (57:20)
• “I had to get closure and deal with the issues of my father post mortem. You really learn a lot about men when you’re fixing their dicks.” – Kristina (39:26)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Male shame & masculinity intro: [00:00]
• Bird hands/viral TikTok “icks” chat: [02:24–08:13] (lighthearted opener)
• Addressing audience criticism/show evolution: [10:03–18:34]
• Kristina’s background/clinic job origin: [27:37–33:40]
• Shockwave ED treatments explained: [41:45–44:59]
• Penis pump/penis boot camp advice: [44:59–50:18]
• Diversity of ED stories (age, trauma): [50:59–52:00]
• Men’s bravado, attitudes, and power dynamics: [65:13–67:30]
• Men’s shame, normalization, and empathy: [40:55–41:06], [57:20]
• Discussion of women hurting men, “two truths”: [74:29–80:02]
• Kristina’s personal relationships & masculinity: [81:00–86:34]

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Where to Find Kristina Denton

• Instagram: @Kristina7Denton (with a K!)
• Book: You Don’t Know Dick, out June 30, available for pre-order everywhere.

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Final Thoughts

This episode blends the hilarious with the heartfelt, offering rare firsthand insight into male vulnerability, what really drives men’s fears and behaviors in the bedroom, and how women—and all partners—can create more trust and compassion. For anyone looking to understand men, sex, or just themselves a little better (plus, the wildest clinic stories you’ve ever heard), it’s a must-listen.

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Share this one with a friend or a man in need of hearing it. And remember: "You don’t know dick… until you do."

Transcript

[Christina Denton]

I was like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. I have a front row seat to male shame. To the thing that they are the most terrified of, which is this, like, definition of what makes them a man is broken.

[Ashley]

This podcast is a Dear Media production.

[Raina]

Hi, guys.

[Christina Denton]

Hi, guys.

[Raina]

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta eat.

[Ashley]

Welcome back and happy cancer season. Every year I forget, I think I skipped a year.

[Raina]

The 22nd.

[Ashley]

It starts. I mean, this week.

[Raina]

All right, it's this week.

[Ashley]

What other week would it be?

[Raina]

The 23rd.

[Ashley]

I always think it's the 22nd, but, you know, there's mixed reviews.

[Raina]

So enjoy the last day of Gemini season, you guys. You chaotic June 21.

[Ashley]

Most people say, wow, I didn't know it would be tough to be on June 21st. You're like, what am I? What was I made for?

[Raina]

Is that every sign, though?

[Ashley]

It just depends because I feel like Shashank, who was October 21, he's a clear libra. No one's ever said he's like, up for debate to be a Scorpio.

[Raina]

I'm not up for debate.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Raina]

At all.

[Ashley]

Well, happy cancer season, you guys.

[Raina]

All right, now we can thank our partners. Okay, thanks to bio optimizers. Sleep great and get 15% off at bioptimizers.com GGE with code GGE and Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item in every box for [e-mail] GGE with code GG and SKIMS. Shop everyday cotton plus our favorite bras

[Ashley]

and [e-mail] and thank you to im8. Get a free welcome kit, five travel sachets and $10 off your order at im8health.com GGE and use code GGE and thank you to resort pass. The day is yours. Get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more at resortpass.com GGE and quints get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next [e-mail] GGE so. So I saw this thing on TikTok and I wanted to see what you thought of this and if you had seen it. So I saw some thing that was viral. This is probably weeks ago at this point. Cause, you know, TikTok. TikTok served me something from March, you

[Raina]

know, like, that's what happened to me lately.

[Christina Denton]

I mean, it's kind of March.

[Ashley]

Yeah, just it's whatever. But I'm like, I have seen this sometimes. Like, you guys gotta figure out your algo more. I'll still be. I'll Be getting comments on my val video till 2027.

[Raina]

I hope so.

[Ashley]

It's like it never stops, so it's still being served to people is my point. You know, so this woman had asked for men's icks, you know, in the nicest way. And they were pretty nice.

[Raina]

Like I got served one of these like a couple days ago also.

[Ashley]

Yeah. So this, there's a few out there, but this is one of the most popular ones. And this was still in May, so it's not that old. But it says since girls always talk about their icks about guys, I want to hear guys icks about girls. Oh, and they weren't that, you know, I was like, oh, what's this comment section going to be? Just a bunch of misogynist men. But they weren't too bad. I mean I think that someone wrote, I'm personally not a big fan of cheating. Like just a man. Yeah, like unable to say sorry, not saying please and thank you. These are turn offs doing everything for. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's the thing, like men don't really have icks. But the one that I saw and I saw this in a couple different comment sections is they said bird hands.

[Raina]

Let me try to figure out what that means.

[Ashley]

Okay, we'll take a guess. Cuz I didn't know it and then it was like linked on TikTok. Like you could go see a bunch more content on bird hands.

[Raina]

Bird hands.

[Ashley]

Yeah. Let me know what you think.

[Raina]

I mean, my only thought is it's just like a really slight hand because like I'm thinking about like a pigeon's. Yeah.

[Ashley]

But really think about that. Why would a man care if your hands are small?

[Raina]

Right. I have a bird hand. I'm just, I think birds are so disgusting. I'm just grossed out thinking about it. Can you show me?

[Ashley]

Okay, this. So when you, a lot of like you see people talk like this.

[Raina]

Oh man. It's a mannerism.

[Ashley]

It's more of a mannerism.

[Raina]

So

[Ashley]

I don't, I don't really do this, but if that's how you talk. I talk with my hands. I'm not criticizing it, but you know what I'm talking about. And you can kind of see it. So sometimes. First of all, this is Italian. Hold it. Doing this gesture is like, that's not. But when the, the Italian hand is flipped, you do see more women doing like this is kind of how they hold their hands when they talk. And then you see sometime they clamp where that's really trying to drive a point home.

[Raina]

I'm trying.

[Christina Denton]

Do I do this?

[Ashley]

I don't think you do it. And I think of. I can think of one friend who does it. But other than that, I think maybe it's a little younger mannerism.

[Raina]

I'm trying. I mean, I talk on my hands a lot. I watch my own Instagram stories and I'm very. As I'm talking, you don't express. I mean, you watch. You watch me on this podcast every single week.

[Christina Denton]

You don't do it.

[Raina]

I don't you. And I don't do that. I'm trying to think why I would unless I was like in your face, like, trying to like, yap, yap, yap, like, and try to really piss somebody off.

[Ashley]

Well, so that's the thing. And like, I saw one TikTok that said hot take. Men say they hate bird hands, but women use bird hands when they're emphasizing their words. And I think what men really hate is when women are trying to make a point. Because then they actually have to listen to them. And obviously that's what they actually hate. Of course, not only men don't want to listen to women, you know, but that could be that men have. They that don't like it have had an experience where a woman is bird handing in their face. But just this in general, I picture the women that do this and it's a vibe.

[Raina]

It's a vibe.

[Ashley]

I'm not being critical.

[Raina]

I'm not that vibe. I just, I. I will find other ways. I do this a lot. I like roll my wrist a lot when I talk.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And of course, like, I'm sure everybody has mannerisms that someone might not like or that would be an ick. But that specific thing I think is interesting. And then I saw one woman be like, I'm gonna do bird hands all day. Cause I wanna show off my nails. I get them done every week. She had this great nail art and she was like, I wanna click them together. And that's almost like why you're doing it too. And it's like a showing off type thing.

[Raina]

I do feel that I do that in Instagram stories. Cause my nails always look great. You. And I just get regular manicures. And I want people to know that I've put time and energy into this that could have gone into something else. And yeah, I talk a lot with my hand, but same no bird hands.

[Ashley]

I do not.

[Raina]

I do not identify with this.

[Ashley]

And then I did see someone take the. You're just. You just hate Italians. And that's not it. This is not a bird hand. This is upside down bird hand Italian.

[Raina]

What would have to happen to me in order for me to start talking like this?

[Ashley]

I mean, if I do this hand gesture, like I'm kind of being funny, but I don't peck with my hands like that.

[Raina]

Fuck no. Something bad would have had to happen in order for this.

[Ashley]

I know, like, who hurt you? Men that even clock this and don't like it.

[Raina]

Like, I can't be in the middle of an argument, arguing like this. I'm not comfy. I gotta be as comfy as possible to like win this argument.

[Ashley]

But I guess I can picture a really loud, outgoing woman like us, that's not a dig.

[Raina]

Who's really bird.

[Ashley]

Handing in a guy's face on a date and he doesn't like it.

[Raina]

I wouldn't like it. I would not like it. I wouldn't like if. No, I understand. It's like, it's a vibe. You can see the whole relationship through that hand. That hand is a portal to what the next five years are gonna be like of your.

[Ashley]

Maybe. Or sometimes that's just how women want to do this and like, make a point. I don't know. So it's just funny. I wonder if. If any of you guys are like, listening, watching this conversation. You are doing this. Not even clamping them together, but when your thumb is touching the rest of your fingers. And this bird, this is a bird. This is the bird, right? The shape.

[Raina]

Uh huh.

[Ashley]

If you're doing this and you're pecking when you're talking, like, why? And just let us know. It's no shade.

[Raina]

I mean, I support anything women want to do. It's just, it hurts my wrist.

[Ashley]

But can you imagine a guy, he's like, dude, I like her, but she's bird hands. Like, can you imagine? This is a man.

[Raina]

A man saying that to his friend and his friends. Like, how big are. How big are her boobs?

[Ashley]

Be honest, right?

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

No, he's like, hey, man, how was the day? Like, what do you think? Like, she's such a cool chick. She looks so hot. And he's like, dude, she's like everything. But I just can't get past the.

[Raina]

Do you think men know what bird hands are? They're the ones saying all other men

[Ashley]

are like, no, no, no, no. Like Shashank didn't know, but then I did it. And he goes, no, I don't like that.

[Raina]

I think you get a real feeling when you see somebody doing it.

[Ashley]

Yeah. So he was like, oh, I Mean, it wouldn't have turned me off of you, probably, but I understand some people

[Raina]

being like, it makes my dick go soft. Was there anything else crazy in there?

[Ashley]

Nothing. Again, the ones that I saw were. Maybe they don't like a Vocal Fry or documenting everything for TikTok.

[Raina]

I guess everybody. I mean, if people have a pulse, they'll come up with something.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And if you want to do everything for social media and you're dating somebody and he doesn't like it and you want to keep doing it, that's not your person.

[Raina]

No, that's the real.

[Ashley]

And if you want to talk with Vocal Fry, you'll find someone that also is fine with that. The Kardashians talk with Vocal Fry. They're some of the, you know, most desired women in the world.

[Raina]

I mean, Kendall Jenner. If I could pick any of their dating histories, it might be. I think it's Kendall Jenner. I think it's Bad Bunny and Jacob Elordi. Like, I would die.

[Ashley]

That's. Well, who else would even be. Is there anyone else's exes that you even care about?

[Raina]

That's true. I mean, all Chloe's just seemed like they treated her terrible, so that's out. Scott Disick.

[Ashley]

No, Like, I'm not attracted to Scott Disick or Lamar or Kanye Tyga or Chris Humphries.

[Raina]

Travis Scott is Travis Scott. That's that Travis Scott.

[Ashley]

But also Kendall Jenner. There's other people on the roster. I mean, she's got the best dating history that I would choose.

[Raina]

Who else does she have with Devin?

[Ashley]

Whatever. No.

[Raina]

Oh, Devin Booker.

[Ashley]

Yeah. I just.

[Raina]

I've been, like, getting served more videos of her. Like, obviously, like, she's the one that's crazy.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Raina]

Okay.

[Ashley]

Okay. Well, anyway, you guys let us know about your bird hands in the comments. So something else we want to talk about. And we received this listener of the show who emailed and posted publicly on Instagram stories and tagged us. I'm like, oh, you're gonna tag us? You want us. You want us to see this? I don't care what people say about us behind our backs on the Internet. I never, never have. That's not our business.

[Raina]

We've just never been like that.

[Ashley]

But when you wanted to, you want to email and you want to bring it to us, then I'm happy to address it.

[Raina]

Not. You know, so she wanted some attention.

[Ashley]

Yeah. So she just kind of complained about the show now and took a bunch of shots. Like, was this the first good episode in a while? Like, basically, like hey guys, am I right or does girls gotta suck these days? Which is you took a shot at us. Like, I'm happy to shoot you. Don't start no shit. Won't be no shit. As always. And I don't need to go through her whole post and redline it because a lot of it I just didn't really feel like was valid or accurate. She kind of complained about us talking about pop culture, which was interesting because we've always talked about pop culture since 2020, really in depth. And then we removed it from the Monday episodes to focus on dating and relationships and made a whole other episode about it. So you actually can consume it or not. But again, I don't need to go down everything that she said. She's welcome to her opinion. And this may be opinion other people share. I mean, this is someone that probably talks about our show to her friends and has been a longtime listener and anyone who has been around from the start. We appreciate you being here. I don't consider you a fan when you're posting, does this show suck now? I think you're an op, but if you want to still consider yourself a fan, we're happy to have you. And we're happy to address criticism because I actually find this interesting on a bigger level and like an overarching theme. And that's why we wanted to talk about it. It wasn't just like, someone criticizes and we're going to defend ourselves. It's more just like I do find this fascinating when people critique something like a show, a podcast for evolving over an eight and a half year time period.

[Raina]

Listen, everybody is allowed to have whatever opinion they want of us. And Ashley and I check in with our friends and our families and people we love and people whose opinions we value. And I am not impervious to feedback. I like feedback. It's important.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Raina]

If you're gonna tag me in something shitty on an Instagram story, that's not the type of feedback I'm gonna digest through a positive lens. But I just think in general, the comment of like, this used to be different and now I don't like it anymore. Yeah. Is really interesting. And I think anybody that's had a business for this long in media, I mean, to have you guys stick around for nearly a decade is like really an honor. I can't even really like compute in my brain that anybody would stick around that long and watch the extreme evolution. I think how different we are and how much we've evolved and I'm so proud of it. Like, I could not be more proud of the evolution of the show and the knowledge that you and I have gotten and the lens through which you guys have allowed us to see the world and see other people. And I think it's made you and I kinder, more patient, more understanding, and also a little more private as we've gotten older.

[Ashley]

Well, so that was me, and I'm gonna go. Go back. She was listening. She'd be like, my main gripe was that you guys are, like, gatekeeping and not sharing as much. And I actually don't totally agree, but I see. I see the point. Only because I guess you're just used to, like, us being single, sharing about our dates and our sexual escapades, and that's not our life now. Like, I have. I feel like I've been really open about my marriage and the evolution of that. And I'm never gonna come in here and tell you about, like, a. A fight we had or something that's. That Shashank wouldn't want me to. I don't know. Like, my relationship, I share as much as I feel comfortable. And if people want more and more, I mean, his comfort level and the privacy that we want to maintain, like, does come first, you know? Like, I think it would have been really hard if he was like, you can't talk about me at all. And that would have been a bridge we would have had to cross. Cause the show was very important, too, and I would have hated to have to make that decision. But I think you see this a lot. You see it with most podcasts, Call Her Daddy Being one, where these two single women shared all these sexual escapades about people they weren't in relationships with. And you got a lot of information. And then. I mean, that is a different show now, but. And I don't listen to it regularly, so I can't really speak. But I'm sure Alex shares a lot less. And there's so many other examples, us being that that's the biggest one. And so in terms of the privacy, I don't know. That's subjective. I really think that we are still very open, and we aren't ever trying to withhold things. And these are conversations that Rain and I have privately, what we're willing to share. And, like, I have them with Shashank, too. And Rain and I talk about guys she's dated and what she wants to share and what she doesn't. And it is part of just getting older and growing up, too.

[Raina]

I think about Alex Cooper is the perfect Example, she grew up, she fell in love with somebody. The stakes were higher. That's a private relationship that she holds sacred. And I think that most people, as they get a little more famous. Taylor Tomlinson used to have that podcast, and she would talk about her life all the time. And I think as she blew up a little more, it became less comfortable. I'm completely hypothesizing, and I don't know her personally, but I think, you know, as more people find you, more people have opinions about you, and your life becomes more public. And I've just gotten more private as I've grown up. I want to have solid romantic relationships with people that, like, when they ask me, are you gonna talk about me on the podcast? I want the. I want the answer to be no. I'm not gonna reveal all this stuff about our lives that are really personal. Yeah, I'm gonna talk about it. As much as I'm comfortable. If I'm really dating somebody, you guys will know about it.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Raina]

And if I have a crazy experience, you guys will know about it. And maybe for the last few minutes, people feel like I haven't been talking about dating. Cause I haven't been dating well. Right. I've also just been on tour. Like, I saw a friend recently, and she was like, so are you dating? And I was like, no. And she was like, nobody. And I was like, nobody. And she was like, come on. And I was like, I just went to, like, 26 cities in three months. I don't have time. Who could I prioritize?

[Ashley]

But you are sharing everything that you're feeling on your tour, which is your life right now. And, you know, the move, for example, like, we put it all out on the table a couple weeks ago about the move. We were sharing as much as we

[Raina]

knew on this podcast. Like, I think.

[Ashley]

I wonder if people ever thought that. Like, it felt gatekeepy. And I'm like, if you think it's gatekeepy, our friends do too. Because if they're asking constantly around the clock, and I'm out here, like, I don't know. And that's the honest to God truth. And big moments. You and I have never actually really been ones to share exactly what's happening, like, in the moment. Like, no one knew Dewey was in sick until he died. And that was a decision I made. And I don't even know if I'd make the same decision now. Maybe I would have been a little more open. I had my own reasons and not really wanting feedback. And I didn't Share about my rhinoplasties for a while after it happened, and I actually don't think I would have done that today. I think I would have been more open about it then. Like, we're all. You're all making these decisions, and, like, it almost all comes out. It's just at our own discretion, and we want to figure out how to talk about it. And I really love that about us, that it's not just like.

[Raina]

No.

[Ashley]

I mean, I think we do a good job of not coming in here and being like. And then we have to change our minds or run it back or. And retract anything. And so, I don't know. That's just kind of how we. We operate. And again, people that listen to show are welcome to think whatever they want. That's their opinion. It's just interesting. Like, all shows will evolve over that. That amount of time. Like, in 2018, when we started this, I would have known that eight years later, it wouldn't have been the same.

[Christina Denton]

Mm.

[Ashley]

And I wouldn't have wanted it to be.

[Raina]

I think it's nice to grow up, and I think that there's so much content in the world to fill the holes. You know, I think that, like, if you want late 20s, early 30s, I'm running around, I'm dating, I'm having all these crazy sex stories. There's tons of content that exists for that, and we are no longer probably gonna provide that a ton. But I do it on my tour. I talk about all these crazy, wild sex stories. I mean, it's nothing but that. And everything can exist in one person. But I think that I have become a little more private as I've gotten older. And there's things that I don't talk about on this podcast. I mean, I allude to the fact that I don't really have much of a relationship with one of my parents. I. Someday we'll talk about it a little more. I don't need to right now. That's probably the only thing I'm ever really gatekeepy about. But that's really private.

[Ashley]

Absolutely.

[Raina]

And I just. I think, to this girl's point, I think in general, it's interesting what we ask of people in media and people that hold a microphone. People talk every single week. And what we expect them to share with us, not share with us. There's tons of people that share everything, and there's plenty of content you can find that are like that. But, I mean, there's plenty of shows also where you don't know anything about the hosts. And they don't talk about their private lives and their families and their relationships. And there's reasons for it. And they don't want to put those people on the chopping block and they don't want to make those people public because they didn't sign up for that kind of stuff. And I think we try to sort of strike the balance between, like, at least I hope we do, of like giving enough information, but not all of it. There are some things I'm going to keep sacred.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And I think there are people, public figures who shared everything and then stopped completely.

[Christina Denton]

And.

[Ashley]

And that is your decision to stop supporting them, stop following, consuming their content. That's a decision you have to make. Like they're within their right to do that. I don't always agree with the decision. I think sometimes people share a bunch, benefit from it, take your money and then stop. And it's like, what do you owe people? You kind of do owe them more. You, you benefited from sharing, but it's still your decision and it's still your life. That's the consumer, the followers decision to stop supporting. And we know that we can't please everybody. Like, I've never really been big on the feedback loop. You know, there's people out there like, I don't care and I don't read comments. I don't take feedback. I'll take it from the type people, my circle, my team, you know, like, there's a healthy balance there too because everyone has to know. That's like the advice I would give to anybody starting. You will not be able to please everybody. And even on the highest level, like, some people just listen to the snack every week. Some people just want solos from us. Some people would hate it if we stopped having guests. Like, we learned that early on. We're doing our best and trying to really stay true to our roots and do what we feel proud of. Like, if someone came in and they're like, girls, here's what you really gotta do. We did surveys, we ran the test and we didn't like it. We wouldn't do it. You know, we want to feel proud of what we're putting out there. And I think every week reading comments, it's like, we know that some people prefer a solo versus a guest versus sack versus this. And that's when you have to do what you want and feel proud of because you cannot please everybody. And this is advice I give no matter what you're doing.

[Raina]

Well, like two things to what you said, you and I also Check each other all the time. I mean, all the time. Like, we are at home an hour or two after recording, and one of us will voice out the other person, like, ah, I don't know if I liked how this sounded. Like, let's kind of digest this through a different lens. Like, we check each other all the time. Our editors are wonderful, and they also, like, listen to the show and give us feedback. And just on, like, a broader sense, like, it's just a good reminder that, like, whatever you do in the world, if you're putting out content, there will be people that don't like it, and there will always be people on both sides of the coin. And I think if this was slut story, Slut story, slut story every week, there would be plenty of people that were like, you ladies are in your 40s.

[Ashley]

You haven't changed. You haven't grown. You haven't grown up. Yes.

[Raina]

And it's always the same fucking people

[Ashley]

that are gonna hate you no matter what you do.

[Raina]

And, like, our audience has grown up with us. And it's such an honor that, like, there's people in their 50s, now, 40s that have children listen to our show, too, in college. And, like, I think those women want us to be role models for their daughters. And, like, I'm proud that this has evolved. And there will always be people that have a problem what you do. And so, like, you just have to, like, trust your gut and the people that you love and the people around you to, like, give you good advice. Our friends are always giving us feedback and advice. It's always really positive and nice, honestly. But, I mean, I think they can check us too. And that's who I want to listen to and take feedback from. And you guys are usually really wonderful. I'll take a private email or DM here.

[Ashley]

Yeah, but it just. You can't take all that in. It's you.

[Raina]

You can't. No one for it.

[Ashley]

And I. I think it's interesting with this is nobody in particular when people really think that you should. People really think their singular opinion. You should change your show for it. We've been getting emails like that for years. This isn't about that girl. This is about the entitlement that some people have. Like, I don't like this. Stop doing it or do it differently. It's wild to me.

[Raina]

Well, those of you who do still like the show. Everybody else, we love you guys.

[Ashley]

Yeah. We have the best audience in the world. We say it all the time. And we're so honored to have moms and their daughters both listen. And I say that in a like, age range. And also literally that that happens and we know that happens. And then that they've come to the show. And so it's been an honor to have you guys, like, along on the ride. And we love that we still have you young sluts listening and women going through menopause listening, you know, it's an honor. It is. Yeah. Well, let's talk about our partners and then we will get into this episode. Today we just recorded with Christina and this is incredible. We cannot wait for you guys to hear this interview. Whatever you think it is, you may or may not be right because it really takes so many different turns. It's wonderful. Yeah. Whatever you think it is, it's going to blow your mind. So I'm just going to tell you about Resort Pass. I am so excited. They are a partner of ours. I've known about this company for years. When they started, I was like, this is the most genius thing. Yeah, it really, really is.

[Raina]

So I just think all the time, like, I'm in LA and we have these like amazing hotels and I don't want to check into a hotel, but I would like to go to them,

[Ashley]

go to the pool, go to the spa. So the concept is Resort Pass gives you access to luxury hotel pools, spas and cabanas for the day. No overnight stay, no membership. You just book it. Passes start at $25 and then your poolside for the day. That's it. So this is how to take a break and really enjoy your summer. If you're just having the summer where you're staying, where you're staycationing, or you're just not, even if you're on a budget, just whatever you got going on, who wouldn't want to just go lay by the pool? Unless you live at these hotels, you don't have this experience. So go use the spa, go use the pool with girls day, Family day. It's such a good thing for like a birthday party day, you know, I remember a friend of ours, she wanted to book this and she was like, I booked this cabana for us for the day and we went up there and joined her for her birthday. Takes no more than five minutes to book. They even have same day booking. They work directly with over 2500 hotels and resorts to provide you with the same luxury hospitality that you would experience as an overnight guest. And again, it's just super easy. You don't need to plan this a bunch of time in advance over 100,000 five star reviews. They make rest, celebration and taking time for yourself easier than ever. And again, resorts are across US, Caribbean and Mexico. Six million guests who have already taken a resort pass daycation. So we have a deal for you guys. Visit resortpass.com GGE to get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. That's R E S O R T p a s s.com GGE for $20 off Resort Pass, the day is yours.

[Raina]

Okay. And skims truly the only bras in a door that I wear. I mean I'm not wearing a bra today, but if I was, it would be skims. That's all I. That's all I wear pretty much. Thank you so much. Thank you to Dr. Barrett. But my every single day bra is the everyday cotton T shirt bra. And it just goes under everything. It's so smooth. It's so comfortable. I moved yesterday and I wore it the whole day to move boxes and pack stuff and it just was so comfy for the whole day. It goes under everything. It feels so nice. And I always say I sleep in these as well and they're just really comfortable to sleep in. They come with a ton of sizes and a colors, so really you can match like a beige, black, white, tan color to like anything you're wearing. And they have the everyday cotton ultimate bra as well. And it's the same roundness and like iconic lift that you're used to, but now it comes in everyday cotton. I mean, I love what skims does. I sleep in their pajamas. I like their body shapewear. I've been wearing this like tank over theirs.

[Ashley]

The cotton is great. I love the rib tank. It's the best rib tank I've ever had. I have it in multiple colors and I just really love that. I think I'm the biggest fan of their cotton. Cotton.

[Raina]

Yes, absolutely. So you guys can shop everyday cotton and all of my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show on the drop down menu that follows.

[Ashley]

Okay, I am eight. So if you guys are feeling like you're not at 100, low energy digestion focus, that is why you're going to want to look into I am eight's daily ultimate essentials. I was really sluggish this weekend. I think I just did a lot last week. I went out more nights than I usually do. I drank more. It was so much. And then like Went to this golf tournament, we walked all day but I had like already worked out in the morning. I was like I'm going to die. But I just felt like really sluggish, like I needed something. And I really love IMA and I just love the packaging. It's so gorgeous. I'm just even just such a big fan of that but Image Daily Ultimate Essentials can be your go to for getting the benefits of 16 different supplements in one tasty drink. This is co founded by David Beckham and crafted with insight from experts at the Mayo Clinic, Cedars Sinai and a former NASA chief scientist. It simplifies my wellness routine and makes it easier to support my health. So 92 nutrient rich ingredients. Vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, Pre, pro and postbiotics is designed to help you feel good from the inside out. So they come in these little packets and you're just gonna throw it in a glass of water. I love to have it ice cold, stir it up and just drink it. Super easy clean. Ingredients Vegan, gluten free, non gmo, NSF certified which means all the ingredients are third party tested for purity. That's really important. You can feel confident about what you're putting into your body. Making a solid choice if you are focused on your health. And again it's going to help your energy digestion. You just feel like you can do more, less bloating, all the things so you can feel your best self every day. With imate go to imate health.com GG and use code GGE for a free welcome kit. Five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's I am number eight health H E A L T H.com/GGE code GGE for a free welcome Kit Five free travel sachets plus ten percent off your order imate health.com GGE code GGE these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. And let's get into it with Christina.

[Raina]

Okay guys. We are very excited to welcome our guest today. She is an actor, an author, a screenwriter and a producer. She spent a year working hands on in an erectile dysfunction clinic in LA treating hundreds, hundreds of men at their most vulnerable. Which resulted in her debut memoir, you don't know Dick. Please welcome to the show Christina Denton.

[Christina Denton]

Thank you guys so much. I cannot wait to chat with you. This is so exciting.

[Ashley]

I know, we're so excited. I don't even know where to start but we'll get into your whole story, but just a little bit about you. So you live here?

[Christina Denton]

I've been in LA almost 20 years. I come from a very small town in rural California.

[Raina]

Rural?

[Christina Denton]

Who says rural? The country.

[Raina]

Rural is a hard word.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, it is.

[Raina]

For, like, how many vowels?

[Ashley]

When is the appropriate word?

[Christina Denton]

My mom, as a speech therapist, would be very proud of me for pronouncing that correctly. You did. But, yeah. I'm from literally a place that couldn't be more different than la, even though it is California. Most people don't realize how rural California actually is unless you've traveled outside of la. Yeah. So, yeah. I always wanted to be an actor since I was 2 years old. I have no idea why I knew what that meant at 2 years old, but I told my mom. So I think there was just a performer, a storyteller that was always in me. And it took different films forms over my life. I started doing poetry from a young age. Short stories, dancing, singing, acting. Yeah. And it just kind of all made sense. And eventually I was like, I guess I'm gonna be an author now, apparently.

[Raina]

Okay, well, I read your book yesterday, cover to cover. I just wanna gas you up. Like, I love this book so much. You are a really fun writer. And, like, we got this pitch to have you on the show, and I was looking at it, I was like, hush. It's about dicks. Okay. It's gonna be like, just like a male apologist book or something. It's so much deeper than that. It's so interesting and funny and light and then serious. And I felt myself, like feeling a lot of emotions. I mean, you just. I really want to gas you up. You've done a great job with this book. It's really different.

[Christina Denton]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Ashley]

So how long did the book take to write in total?

[Christina Denton]

Actual writing time was. It was six months off and on. But actual writing time was probably less than two months. Because I write really, really fast, but this story's been in me for.

[Ashley]

Exactly. So it just pours out of you and then. Did you find it really therapeutic writing it? Like, did you have moments where, I mean, you write about your dad a lot and you guys.

[Christina Denton]

Okay, do you remember that movie with Diane Keaton, Nancy Meyer's movie? Something's Got to Give. Do you remember the scene where she's, like, the playwright and she's crying and she's trying to get picturing? That was literally me the whole time. I was, like, muscling my way through.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

Finishing this thing. Thank God I had a Deadline. Because otherwise, that's why I was like, I had to get a publishing deal before I wrote it, or else I would not have actually forced you.

[Ashley]

Seriously, who's holding you accountable?

[Raina]

No, seriously. But, like, I did not expect so much emotion from this book about, like,

[Christina Denton]

penises can be very emotional.

[Raina]

Part of me was like, is this just gonna be like, man, I have feelings, too.

[Christina Denton]

You're like, oh, here we go.

[Raina]

Okay. We got it. So right. And connected to the stories about your father and your relationship. And we will get into it. But when you were working at the dick clinic, which we should get into, how you got a job there and became like, the dick whisperer. But were you writing all the stories down as you went?

[Christina Denton]

Okay. In fairness, because I was already a screenwriter. I was already a comedian. My lens on this whole world already was funny.

[Ashley]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

Going in, I was like, this is insane. I am doing. I'm a dick fixer.

[Ashley]

Dream job for someone like you.

[Christina Denton]

For sure. Absolutely. For somebody who already was, like, into dicks and drawing dicks as a kid, like, for sure.

[Ashley]

A horny.

[Christina Denton]

But I was like, yeah. I would take notes in my notes app. I would be like, okay, that was the craziest shit that ever happened. I'm gonna make sure I remember that. You know what I mean? Like, I had to. I just had to. Because I was like, something crazy is happening to my life and I'm going to talk about this and I don't

[Ashley]

be crazy not to. Yes. I just want to, like, wrap up a little bit about you.

[Raina]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

So you are sober, married.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And you're our age. Do you say your age or.

[Christina Denton]

I just turned 44.

[Raina]

I know, it's.

[Christina Denton]

But thank you for thinking.

[Ashley]

I'm okay.

[Raina]

I know.

[Ashley]

I'm upset.

[Raina]

This is what living in LA does to you, though.

[Ashley]

That's right.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah. There's expectations.

[Ashley]

Wow.

[Christina Denton]

Get it together. And I said a lot of healing. A lot of healing.

[Ashley]

Listen, I aspire to look like you in 10 years. I'm kidding.

[Christina Denton]

I know. I'm like, you guys are doing great. You're doing justice.

[Raina]

We're almost there. Okay, so wait, my last question.

[Ashley]

Is that your hand on the book?

[Christina Denton]

No. But it looks just like that.

[Raina]

It does. There's a picture. It says, you don't know dick. And of the eye of the dick. It's a hand wrapped around a.

[Ashley]

That's so funny. The eye of the dick. It was the tip of the penis. 100%. The letter I.

[Christina Denton]

The letter I. Yeah. It's grabbing the eye and it's A great book and making a little bulge.

[Raina]

It looks a little bit like a butt plug.

[Christina Denton]

You're right. I agree.

[Ashley]

And it's bulge. Okay, so how did that decision get made? Like, you were like, I want to be the hand model. And they were like, sorry, no, you're not qualified.

[Christina Denton]

No. My cover designer and I were talking at length, obviously, about what the heck the COVID is going to be. I always wanted it to be this very aggressive, like, bold, in your face. You're walking by at a bookstore going, okay, whoa, that thing just screamed at me. I clearly need to look at it.

[Raina]

I read it in my living room.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

And like, like, my original idea was to turn the eye into, like an exclamation mark or have it be, like, sad or, you know what I mean? Something. But then I was like, you know what? I think we just need to grab it. I don't know. And he was like, let me show you. And he made this. And I was like, done. And the publishers were like, we love it. I was like, okay, we're doing it.

[Raina]

I love it. I love the colors.

[Christina Denton]

It's unapologetic.

[Raina]

No, it is. And it's like, listen, you should read it in public, you guys.

[Ashley]

You should get it.

[Raina]

Read it on a plane.

[Ashley]

But it's horny, too. The grab, like, it's kind of. It's bold and it's.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, we're fixing dicks one grab at a time. Listen. I don't know. Grab them by the dick. Right? We're gonna change the narrative. I don't know.

[Ashley]

Maybe that's all of that.

[Christina Denton]

All of it.

[Raina]

Okay, I want to talk about how you got into this job because you were an actress and you did not say, like, I'm gonna go into the medical, like, med spa profession. So, like, how did this happen?

[Christina Denton]

No. So if anybody has ever tried to pursue a dream of acting. I was working multiple day jobs. Always. Right. Like, just plenty of things. Friends of mine were like, we're opening a wellness spa and it's close to your house. And before, I was commuting like, an hour to the day job every day. I was like, yes, great, perfect. I'll be your office manager. Fantastic. Three months in, they're like, we're never going to make money. We're never going to. Like, there's a million of these wellness centers. Every strip mall has an anti aging clinic.

[Raina]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

And so the husband of the duo was like, heard this Joe Rogan podcast.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

As he. Of course, because he's that guy. And they were talking about this Biohacker Ben Greenfield went on the podcast talking about this service, this non invasive solution to erectile dysfunction. No pills, no this, no surgery, this not okay. And so he's like, we're going to bring this on. We're going to do it. And you're our only employee, so you're going to get certified.

[Raina]

So crazy. And I was like, go ahead.

[Ashley]

Yeah, but it's so smart.

[Christina Denton]

It is very smart. It's a very good business decision.

[Raina]

But like, it's funny to look at the, like the, the receptionist, the office manager and be like, you'll do it.

[Christina Denton]

Well, he knew. Yeah, he's like, you, you clearly can like talk to anybody. Right? And my background was though. Yes, I did have a background in physical therapy though. So I had my, my degree in college is kinesiology, exercise science, nutrition. So I had worked in spaces that were similar, like adjacent. Right. Obviously I was not touching dicks, but I was handling people's bodies in certain ways. And so I think there was just this natural, like, you're going to be able to handle this. And I was like, you're asking me to do something extremely vulnerable, very mature. You're going to have to pay me more money. I'm not going to make 25 an hour, like fixing dicks. Like, there's no way.

[Ashley]

That's the most money I think you could ask for, like in anything. Yeah, touching dick.

[Raina]

I got to touch strangers dicks.

[Christina Denton]

10 dicks a day, professional. And be very kind and like be

[Ashley]

paid per dick also bonus.

[Christina Denton]

And I was like, give me. So we did. We worked out a deal who was going to pay me X amount of money additional per dick. Fantastic, right? And so next thing I know, I'm on a flight to Tucson, Arizona to train. Never been to Tucson. Was in a clinic with all these urologists from all around the country. And I'm like, okay, wait, I'm clearly the only actor slash comedian slash non medical professional here. And they're taking it so seriously. And I'm like, there's a whole industry for like fixing dicks. Like, this is like, they're paying their mortgages from doing this. And I'm like over here, like giggling like a schoolgirl at what we're talking about. And we had to do a hands on portion.

[Raina]

Did that surprise you when the model walked out and they were like, here's the dick on the stage. Yes.

[Christina Denton]

I was like, of course. I was like, oh, wait, this is real happening. Like, this is gonna be now. It's like confronting. You're like, you have to do this because you have to practice in order to get certified.

[Raina]

And you crazy.

[Christina Denton]

Can you imagine? By the way, let's like not forget this is. This machine is called shockwave therapy.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

Shock wave on a p. Like that is not words you would put together.

[Ashley]

Right? Like, I wouldn't.

[Raina]

You couldn't shock wave my cloth.

[Ashley]

I'm sorry, I don't care.

[Raina]

But she also give you vaginas.

[Christina Denton]

I did. And I had my own vagina.

[Raina]

Shocked.

[Ashley]

So offended by this conversation. Okay, can I ask you one question and before we continue, were you like a dick enthusiast?

[Christina Denton]

Is that a thing? I probably.

[Ashley]

Yeah, right. It is. I would say.

[Christina Denton]

I love that.

[Raina]

I mean enthusiast like, and you not a dick enthusiast. Because I like dick pics so much

[Ashley]

and all the things. You love dick pics. You love a jerk off video. You like to watch people jerk off. You like to talk and look at penises. Like, I'm a little more like, ooh, a dick.

[Raina]

Like, oh, yeah, I do love it.

[Ashley]

I mean, I love my husband's dick and I don't know. I'm not anti dick, but I. Between the two of us, I think.

[Raina]

Okay, no, no, that's fair. You're not like, I don't want to look at a dick. You just don't want to look at everyone's dick. And I. You do.

[Christina Denton]

Okay. I would especially unsolicited dick.

[Ashley]

So where do you fall between the rain and Ashley?

[Raina]

I would specifically solicit them.

[Christina Denton]

I love that. I'm probably somewhere in the middle.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Christina Denton]

Like, I think it's people. Yeah. Like, if it's like there's a dick, I'm now, now after having this job, I'm like, yeah, great, there's a dick. Of course there's a dick as well. You're looking at them Almost medically, yes. 100.

[Ashley]

It's just a body part.

[Christina Denton]

Nothing shocks me anymore after that job. Like, literally when it comes to dicks. Before that, I would say I always love sex. I've always like been like pro dick. Like two dicks in a room. I'm always like, that's a lot to figure out. But like, you know, it's fun. Yeah. Like, we'll figure it out.

[Raina]

No, I really do want to have a threesome with two guys. I'm really.

[Christina Denton]

I've never done that because I always figured, like, I don't know how to pay attention. Who weighs my problem?

[Raina]

I actually know. I used to think that too. Like, there's so many body parts flying. That's not my problem.

[Ashley]

Problem.

[Raina]

I'M here for my enjoyment, and you guys can figure it out.

[Ashley]

But that's why it's better, because you don't care about them.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Like, if there was a woman in the room, I'd be like, I would be worried about her.

[Raina]

So true.

[Ashley]

But with men, who cares what they think?

[Raina]

Someone I respect was in the room. I would care about it. If it's two guys, I don't give a shit.

[Christina Denton]

Like, figure it out. Sword fight. Let's go. Yeah.

[Raina]

Just Eiffel Tower me. Let's get. Let's get.

[Ashley]

Any woman in an MMF ever been, like. I was just really concerned if they were feeling included.

[Christina Denton]

Do you feel. Do you feel seen? Are you sure?

[Ashley]

No, we don't care. Let's make it hot.

[Raina]

You guys kiss. Okay.

[Christina Denton]

Progressive. Like threesomes. They're like, everyone does everyone else just feel safe?

[Raina]

Yeah, that's so true. My one threesome, I was, like, really concerned with her feelings included. And I could not care less if men feel included.

[Christina Denton]

I forgot, like, I said, my head. I forgot he was there. I was like, oh, yeah. He's.

[Ashley]

Oh.

[Christina Denton]

Like, the novelty is me and the girl. I. I've done this.

[Ashley]

I can do this any night.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah. You're like, okay, Stay over in your corner, please. Yeah.

[Raina]

Okay. So you go to the conference.

[Christina Denton]

You go to the conference, come back,

[Raina]

and you're like, certified job now.

[Christina Denton]

This is my job now. And then my dad dies, and it takes a whole other turn, which I didn't want to. We don't have to talk about that yet. But come back two weeks later, have my first client.

[Raina]

Well, I think it matters is I think that you healed your relationship.

[Christina Denton]

You mentioned, like, that's the title. Yeah, yeah. It's the whole thrust of the book, in a lot of ways, is about your dick.

[Ashley]

Puns are off to the charts. I don't know if you're trying to.

[Raina]

You're reserved, though.

[Ashley]

You have.

[Raina]

You know, I think that you do it well. You don't take advantage, but I don't

[Ashley]

know if you're meaning to. Do you say thrust normally?

[Christina Denton]

I don't. It comes out when we're in this, like, literally, I'll be talking. I'm like, ugh. And I catch myself, and I'm like, shit. I'm like, everything is a dick. Double entire. What do they call it? Yeah.

[Ashley]

And you had a strained relationship with your father, and he passed. And you obviously talk about that in the book. Did he know you got this job?

[Christina Denton]

No, because he was kind of fading out before I got It. Yeah, right.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Christina Denton]

So, yeah, no, so that's not. Unless my mom told him and I didn't know. Yeah, he did not know.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Christina Denton]

He was not aware. Okay.

[Raina]

You're like, you raised me so poor.

[Christina Denton]

I'm like, by the way, dad, before you die, dick fixing.

[Ashley]

I mean, whenever we want to talk about it, where it goes in the story, you're welcome to bring it up. You really had to get closure and deal with the issues of their father post mortem.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, I did. I really did. And it didn't occur to me how much I was learning about him until kind of the job was over, like, with these men. Just to give you kind of like the timeline, I go into the job dealing, you know, fresh off the heels of daddy dying, right? And I'm like, I can't handle the grief. I'm going to go to the funny. Literally. He taught me that. He taught me how to deal with hard moments.

[Raina]

You're a comedian.

[Christina Denton]

Find the funny. I'm a comedian. Like, comedy comes from pain, right? It's this coping mechanism for pain. So as I go into the job, all I'm looking at are the stories I'm getting or the things I'm experiencing with these men that are funny. I can't hold any shame. I'm not looking for it, I'm not seeing it. And a few months in, I'm like, oh, shit, something is definitely happening here where I'm witnessing men at their lowest. Like, it didn't even occur to me, like, erectile dysfunction. Because when I first heard about guys wanting to get their dicks fixed or preserve their dick life, my immediate thought was like, of course they do. Pervs, right? It was like, gross. Like, old dudes want to still fuck. Of course they do. Like, that was the perspective I had walking into this. So that's kind of all I was seeing. And then it started, like, again, I started seeing the pattern in all these different stories. And, you know, he was. You know what I mean? Their wife had died and they're trying to get back out there. They don't know how to deal with that. Their wife thinks that they're cheating because their penis doesn't work. And they're trying to prove to her, like, and they don't want her to know that they're here. And, like, I was like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. I have a front row seat. Seat to male shame, to the thing that they are the most terrified of, which is this, like, you know, definition of what makes them a man is broken. And I'm like, oh. And so then all of a sudden, I started being able to look at them through a different lens and go, oh, wow. They are just as, like, emotional and vulnerable and screwed up as we are as women. They just can't talk about it.

[Raina]

You wrote this line down in the book. Men came to me looking for physical solutions to emotional wounds. And I would have the first thought starter that you did, which is like, of course they want bigger dicks and harder dicks. And I mean, you tell story after story in the book of people whose, like, partners are being not faithful to them or partners who died and things like that. Yes, a couple people wanted bigger dicks, but let's, like, talk about it a little more.

[Christina Denton]

So. So here's the thing. This service, because it helps blood flow, no matter how big, it's not gonna make your dick bigger, but it will make you look fuller or more engorged. Right. So you have this feeling of like, oh, I'm at, like, max capacity now.

[Ashley]

Okay, I just want to clarify. You guys weren't doing penis implants?

[Christina Denton]

Not penis enlargement, not penis implant, no.

[Ashley]

And then can you kind of just explain the machine?

[Christina Denton]

Yeah. So it's literally like a futuristic looking gun. And it sends. So there's this piston inside the chamber, and it goes back and forth and it slaps this metal tip that you put on the tissue. So. And by the way, it's touching the penis, the shaft, it's down the groin, under the balls, on the taint, all the way up the other side. So every single area that services blood flow to the penis to enlarge, to engorge it was needing to help. We were trying to remove the plaque. So the idea of this called angiogenesis, right, it causes these little micro traumas from the sound wave, just shocking like, boom. And then the body's like, oh, no, there's trauma. Let me go send, like healing tissue or healing properties to go fix it. And so it would. It would kind of clean it up, almost like clearing debris out of a river of the blood vessels so they have more blood flow. What I was taught is 80 to 90% of ED is a blood flow issue, Right. The rest is, like, psychological or. And then sometimes when the physical problem is there, then you stop trusting your dick and then it's. You know what I mean?

[Raina]

So there's this feedback. So is it similar to it, like a mic, like micro needling where you're physically touching it with the wand?

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, it's just not actually going inside the body in any way. That's the complete. Completely. That's why I was able to get certified without being medical professional.

[Raina]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

If you're gonna do any kind of injection or anything, you need a medical license or degree. So I was able to get certified without that because it's non invasive and

[Raina]

people have to come several times.

[Christina Denton]

So the protocol at the time was six sessions. The device then took about 45 minutes to an hour per session. So very involved, very intimate. We're spending lots of time together. I would have to put ultrasound gel on the penis tube, conduct the signal, which is basically putting lube on a dick that is not for pleasure. That's a whole story I tell is like, how do you know I want

[Raina]

to talk about it? Because you are, I mean, you're a beautiful woman. You, you come in the room, I wonder if those guys were like, fuck yes or fuck no.

[Christina Denton]

It was, it was the bliss.

[Ashley]

Now they're like, oh, this is so weird. My dick works now.

[Christina Denton]

Many men were hard the moment I would pull the sheet down. And because we would have them wear numbing cream in order to help like, reduce the skin snap of the like machine, they would wear it for an hour before. So like, you know how like for. Oh my God, like, you're like, I can't feel my face.

[Raina]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

Same thing. So there's a lot of desensitization already happening. So a lot of them didn't even know they were hard. And they're laying down on a treatment table, clearly not making eye contact with me or their dick.

[Raina]

Sure.

[Christina Denton]

They don't know they're hard. And so some, like, sometimes I'd get guys who would be like, complaining, like, I don't know if this is working. And I'm literally holding their eg dick and I'm kind of like.

[Ashley]

And they. Oh, oh, I guess, I guess it is good because.

[Christina Denton]

Yes.

[Ashley]

They're like, wait, do I even need to be here? Okay, so six treatments and then is that the long term supposed to be forever or you come back in like a it depends on hair removal thing?

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, no such a question. It depends on their health, like in general. Like if they have high cholesterol, if they have diabetes, they have pre existing conditions that are impacting their blood flow. Yeah, they're going to have to come back more often. So they would tell us like, this treatment will last about 18 months and then you might start seeing differences.

[Ashley]

Got it.

[Christina Denton]

But we would send them home with homework, like a penis pump to use regularly. I always tell people, penis pump is like cardio for Your dick. It forces blood flow into the penis to help clear the debris. Every man, especially if you're over 40. I'm just gonna say it. What needs a penis pump?

[Ashley]

What?

[Christina Denton]

And should be using it regularly.

[Ashley]

I just, I thought it was an aesthetic thing. It's really helpful.

[Christina Denton]

It's like functional. It's preventative care. Oh my God.

[Ashley]

I'm gonna order one.

[Christina Denton]

Yes.

[Ashley]

Not that Shashank has any issues.

[Christina Denton]

No, but you listen.

[Raina]

It's like, it's like preventative Botox. I started Botox at 28.

[Christina Denton]

I did not need it 100%.

[Raina]

And now I don't have wrinkles. I know you guys are looking at my face now, like you can move your face. And tomorrow we're going to get Botox. Okay, we're going to take a quick break and we'll get right back into it with Christina. So I'm telling you guys about bio optimizers. I first discovered this company right after I got surgery a couple years ago. And I was just like waking up in the middle of the night, I was super uncomfortable. Like my heart was racing, my mind was racing. I just couldn't get back to sleep. And the doctor suggested this just, just for like a better sleep calmer without like waking up feeling like exhausted and wrung out. Cause sometimes those sleep aids can make you feel like that. And bioptimizers, the magnesium breakthrough that they do is really what helped me and just calm me down, help me to sleep a little better. You guys know that sleep is like the most important thing. I think it's why I look young. And it just like keeps me so healthy and just like energized. And magnesium breakthrough BiOptimizers, it's PhD formulated, it's back by 20 years of research and over 15,000 lab tests. So the same this has been heavily researched. And it's not just one type of magnesium. So it's an all in one magnesium complex. There's seven different forms working together to support sleep, stress, energy and recovery. So it's just something good you can do for your body. You guys, if you're ready to finally sleep great and feel like yourself Again, head to bioptimizers.com GGE and use our exclusive code GGE to get 15% off any order. You'll get great discounts, free gifts, and the peace of mind of never running out. And Bioptimizer backs it with a 365 day, no questions asked, money back guarantee, a full year, zero risk. Because at the end of the day, Bioptimizer's mission is to empower everyone to live a stronger, longer, better life. And this is one of the best tools I found to actually do that. So again, that is 15% [e-mail] GGE and use our code GGE, make this the year you finally get your sleep, your energy and yourself back.

[Ashley]

Okay, Quince, for summer. What do you guys have going on this summer? Summer, you need swim. You need light, breathable fabrics, washable silk skirts.

[Raina]

No, Reina, their silk skirts for summer are unbelievable.

[Ashley]

Here's what I'm obsessed with. I feel like we've never talked about with them dresses to wear to weddings. Look at these. Could you die? Look at these right there. $80. That blue.

[Raina]

Why is that blue dress like the exact dress but better than I was?

[Ashley]

Yes. So the Bianca stretch satin dress in this beautiful blue $80. The Catalina stretch satin dress also $80. Like a butter yellow. Their butter yellow is perfect.

[Raina]

Oh, it's gorgeous.

[Ashley]

Are you guys hearing me?

[Raina]

That light blue, I've never gotten more compliments on that. I know.

[Ashley]

And butter yellow. These are like blind spots. I think people talk like dresses to wear to other people's weddings. It could be like so annoying, so frustrating. Like, where do you get them from? So Quince has got everything. I mean, we love their cashmere and their silk, of course, and their cotton and their linen and all those beautiful everyday pieces. Start at $32. Everything at quints price 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And they just have everything. They have stuff for home, kitchen, bedding and beyond. I saw this really cute polka dot swimsuit. You're really into polka dots right now. If you're taking like a European vacation, that's the look you want or whatever. Staycation. Just polka dots are so in. So they really have everything. They're just such a go to. I have this dress I wear all the time. It's got the shorts underneath, kind of like an exercise dress. These could play tennis or pickleball in, but I just wear it out. I just am obsessed. And so you really can elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com GG for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C.com GGE for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com GGE all right, well, I travel a lot.

[Raina]

I really never know what to do about groceries because I end up buying a lot of stuff and then like, I'm just like, I don't know, know what recipes to make with this. And then I just have too much. So I find myself just spending like too much time figuring out what to eat. And Hungry Root is like the perfect solution to that. So it makes my life so much easier. It helps me like plan my meals for the week, fill my cart, delivers everything that I need right to my door to eat like healthy and have great meals and recipes for myself. So when you go onto hungryroot.com, you will take this quiz and it'll ask you all things about like your health goals, dietary preferences, budget to curate for you. And like, are you cooking for kids? Are you vegetarian? You trying to eat low fat? Are you trying to eat high fat? Trying to get more protein?

[Ashley]

Whatever you're trying to do, you're on

[Raina]

that high fat diet trying to be less healthy. Go to hunger. No, I'm just kidding, you guys.

[Ashley]

No, not at all.

[Raina]

Not at all. Hungry takes into account your health goals and everything. They'll learn your taste and dietary needs. And they offer over 50,000 chef crafted recipes that can be ready in 15 minutes or less. So they're basically going to like stock your cart with everything to make these recipes. And all the food is high standards. They screen out over 200 additives, including high fructose corns, syrup. It's only high quality ingredients. Plus there's organic produce and non GMO options. I mean, it just couldn't be better to just keep you like feeling good, stocked, ready to eat. You're going to love hungryroot as much as we do. For a limited time, get 40% off your first order, plus get a free item in every box for Life. Go to hungryroot.com GGE and use the code GGE. That's hungryroot.com GGE code GGE to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Okay, so, okay, you suggested a penis pump and then just more like another medical question. Like did you have like a spiel that you went through, like change your diet? Here's things that can help you basically, like foods, less alcohol, more sleep, like what was the other spiel?

[Christina Denton]

I called it penis boot camp.

[Raina]

Okay.

[Christina Denton]

I put my clients through what I call because I used to be a personal trainer and my background with all this health stuff, I'm like, all right, look, if this is like a blood flow issue, if this is high cholesterol. You've got to clean up your lifestyle. Like it's only going to benefit your circulation in your whole body, especially there. And what I was taught is that oftentimes ED is a precursor for heart disease because the blood vessels are so much smaller so they start to fill up with plaque first. And usually within. I think it was, the stat was like in. Within three years you're going to have a heart attack or heart problem if you don't change your lifestyle. So it's like a warning sign. Like I have this thing in there. It's like your dick is trying to save your life. Like pay attention. Like, come on. You know. So yeah.

[Raina]

And what was like the age range of people that came in?

[Christina Denton]

Oh my gosh. Honestly, I had clients young as 18 and as old as 80. And the average of course was in 50s and 60s. But there were like a lot of other reasons. Guys like motorcycle accidents, sex accidents. Which I had a lot of questions

[Raina]

about that one of our first episodes.

[Christina Denton]

Tell me more.

[Raina]

Exactly.

[Christina Denton]

It happens. And people don't realize that unless they've been through it. Right?

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

A lot of my clients, there's. If they had scar tissue on one side because of an injury, because something else they'd have Pey's disease.

[Ashley]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

Where like it bends one way or the other. It's actually pretty common.

[Ashley]

Doesn't that feel kind of good?

[Christina Denton]

I mean, don't you have experience with. It depends on how. Okay. So it depends on how you're shaped. Cuz a lot of us are crooked too.

[Raina]

We have like.

[Christina Denton]

Like, oh, I'm crooked.

[Raina]

So it feels like hooked towards his stomach. When it was inside of me, it felt nice.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Raina]

I can probably hook different.

[Christina Denton]

Exactly. You can bend different ways 100%. Yeah. I've seen it all.

[Ashley]

So when someone would come in, do you always talk with them at length? Or is it. Or do people come in and they don't want to talk? Just fix me like. Or is it there? You've seen it all.

[Christina Denton]

I've seen it all. I credit my acting background to teaching me how to sort of adjust my energy and personality for different people in front of me. Playing moments off of them. Often if they were really rigid and kind of like uptight at first, we would crack at some point. Right? They would crack because I make them feel safe. And like for me, I don't want to feel awkward in the room. Yeah. So I'm like trying to find my way in. Like what do they need from me so that they can feel as Safe as possible so that I can like help them the best way. And what typically was that humor disarms people, right? Asking them about them being super curious. I would do a lot of self deprecating humor of like, oh my God, so many guys like, oh, we see making them just feel like this is normal as normal. And it is. I remember feeling like halfway through the job I started getting so frustrated that nobody understood about sexual dysfunction and the taboo topic, the shame around it. And I started feeling this conviction to normalize the conversation, which here we are with a book. And like that's, that's my M.O. because I'm like, I know for me, if I feel like something's wrong with me that's like so shameful and nobody's talking about it. Like, I don't want to feel that. How do I normalize what I'm going through? And it's like you look at other people, they're like. I remember watching when I first started seeing like Brene Brown, like, and she was so just like, guys, I'm human and I'm such a mess. And I'm like, she has a microphone and a platform and she's talking about how messy she is. So I was like, why aren't we all doing that? You know what I mean? It just being honest about. And a lot of my book is about the messy middle. We are human. We are so flawed. And like, let's just embrace that, right? So I tried to do that with them in the room so that they could feel safe to open up and it would work. And it was amazing. I mean, I've meet men that like, culturally had like a lot of blocks with speaking to a woman. Like, I had this, one of my very most funny stories as a guy from Pakistan. And I was like, okay. He's like, my wife cannot know that I ever came to see you. And I'm like, okay, totally fair. Why would I ever tell her? I never even meet these wives. Most of the time, legally I can't tell your wife.

[Raina]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

And I was just like, you know, and then it was like he didn't want to tell me. And all of a sudden, a couple sessions in, he's like, well, we're having a really hard time having. And I started to learn like, oh, she was very domineering. And he's like a submissive man and he doesn't really speak up for himself. And I'm like, well, no wonder your penis doesn't work. Like, you don't. You're emasculated. In this marriage. And like, I don't know why that's happening, but. And I was like, well, you know, kind of what a strong woman really likes, right? Like, she wants you to, like, make the decisions, take that off her plate. Like, I just started, like, saying weird therapy shit that I didn't know what the hell I was saying, but it felt right. And he tried it and he came back and he's like, it worked. And we had sex. I go, what? And your penis worked? She's like, yeah. And I go, uh huh. And I'm like. So he's telling me this one story, you guys, and then one of the craziest shit that ever happened in my time. And so imagine this, man, he's coming off this victory, he's so excited. I'm so excited. I feel like a winner. I'm like, this is my greatest success. Like, I got him to have sex with his wife. This is fantastic. And then a little fly starts buzzing around his penis in the middle of the session.

[Ashley]

Wait, serious, this isn't a metaphor.

[Christina Denton]

This is a real fly. Decided to join us. And it's like I'm holding his penis, right? And he's just like talking happily about his success.

[Raina]

And the gel's on his penis.

[Christina Denton]

The gel is super sticky. And I'm have this machine, it's doing this and I'm like, oh, you. Don't you dare land on his dick. Don't you do this to him. I can't have this right now. And of course it does. And it lands.

[Ashley]

No, it doesn't.

[Christina Denton]

Yes, it does.

[Ashley]

This is like that debate with Mike Pence and the fly, and you were watching it and you're like, if that fly lands on Mike Pence's head when he.

[Christina Denton]

It's over.

[Ashley]

Remember? That was like the most famous.

[Christina Denton]

Yes, yes, exactly. It lands and then halfway, half of its body is like stuck in the gel and it's trying to get away and it's doing this. And I'm like, huh? What do I do? What do I do? I kill it on the dick. Do I smash it? Do I zap it? Like, I don't know what to do, right? And I'm like, oh, my God. But I gotta, like, the fly is miserable. He's. I. And I'm.

[Raina]

Are people laid down?

[Christina Denton]

They're laying on a medical table, like, flat on their back, okay? Looking up at the sky, trying not to ever make eye contact with me, right?

[Ashley]

And then the machine would have zapped the fly like one of those fly swatters.

[Christina Denton]

Totally. It totally Would rockets electrocuted? I don't even know. Yes, exactly. Those are like, oh, my God, I love those.

[Ashley]

Yes.

[Christina Denton]

And so I was like, all right, Christina. Just. Just like, whatever. So I try to, like, kind of like. But I don't want him to feel me. Like, it was a very complicated situation. What are you doing? And looking. And then he's like, there's a fly on my dick. I can't have that. It'll go right back down to the shame world. And I was like, we're not doing this. So I. I like, lightly smash it, and it rolls down onto his ball. And I'm like.

[Ashley]

And I'm like, I.

[Christina Denton]

He doesn't have numbing cream on his balls. Now what do I do? And I'm like, okay, I'm going to try to, like, flick it. Like, it was. I was. I was treatment. How do you flick a fly but not hit the ball? Like, that is skill. Like that is skill. And I was like, I somehow did that. I was like. And like, maybe they'll make a noise. It was.

[Ashley]

You coughed.

[Christina Denton]

We saved the day. He did not. He was never aware that there was a fly on his dick just at all.

[Ashley]

Gel covered fly on his ball.

[Christina Denton]

The stickiest, grossest. It was so. It was amazing.

[Ashley]

This poor man.

[Christina Denton]

This poor man. You'll never know.

[Ashley]

I love what you said about normalizing. That's what anybody wants. I mean, that's why it's really. Women. When we go to the gynecologist, something's off. You want to know that this is so normal. Everyone has hpv, you know, like little things like that.

[Christina Denton]

Everyone.

[Ashley]

I think that is everyone's biggest fear is to feel like something is abnormal with their body and of course, in their sex life, their desires, all of that too. But just, like, something's wrong with me. And so probably once you tell men that so many people are coming in and out like you're. You're. This is nothing. I see this all day, every day. They're probably immediately disarmed.

[Christina Denton]

Exactly. And that. And that's the thing that you. You know again, because men don't talk to each other about these things, right? Let alone their wives or girlfriends.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

They go to the doctor. Their doctor's like, mom, here's a pill. I was talking to this woman the other day. She's like, like, well, my husband has ED and he went to the doctor and he just said, well, you probably have it because you're married. And I was like, boredom. What?

[Raina]

Yeah, like, the doctor diagnosed him with boredom.

[Christina Denton]

The Doctor's like, you're probably just bored of in your marriage. And I was like, that is so this is like the perfect example of, of the problem when men go to seek help from this and they go to the urologist, the doctor, a lot of urologists. I'm not saying all of them have antiquated information. They literally just prescribe medicine and tell them to go about their day. They're not fixing. Addressing the source of the problem. They're not addressing the psychology. They're. It's just, get out of my office.

[Ashley]

That might be true, but there's so much more nuance. It's so much more nuanced information. But when you deliver it is like, this is the problem with no solution

[Christina Denton]

or context and no business jumping into

[Raina]

that supposed to be you're gonna leave your wife. Right?

[Christina Denton]

Right. Mistress.

[Raina]

And so much of men's identity and self worth comes from their penis. But I do like, I understand it because like my whole life I had these like giant tits and they were amazing. And I. It was my whole person.

[Christina Denton]

It was raptor. Andrea did it. Yeah.

[Raina]

And I got a breast reduction. They were too big. I got a second one and he botched the second boob job. And I had like a botched left breast. Like, it just. It was like flat on the side. The scar like healed really badly. And I just was like, it never even occurred to me, like, talk to anybody about this. Like a doctor. I was just like, this is embarrassing. This is just kind of how I'm

[Christina Denton]

gonna look for the rest of my life.

[Raina]

And it wasn't until like an. Another nurse heard me talking about it with Ashley that she was like, oh, this happens. And I know what this is called. But like, I was so embarrassed with how my body looked, of course. And this is a thing I took a lot of self worth from, was like my sexuality, how I look naked. And I'm so proud of it. And I was just like, this has changed my identity, how I look naked now. And like, it was so embarrassing to talk about and I never would have talked about it. And that's crazy. Cause we do a whole show about your body and how you feel in your body. And so I'm sure these men, even more so because I'm a woman, it's easy for me to talk about it.

[Christina Denton]

Sure.

[Raina]

These men are like, I don't tell about this.

[Christina Denton]

Who am I going to tell exactly?

[Ashley]

And just in general, like the most vulnerable you are is when you're naked with somebody and, and the performance.

[Christina Denton]

Right. Men are Expected like we, you can't really. It's like, okay, we get wet or we don't, whatever. But it's like we're there. It's like there's no outward expression of whether or not we're going to function for sex. You know what I'm saying? They are like, it's like, oh, if you don't get hard, we don't have sex.

[Ashley]

I like, I imagine it. I feel for men on this.

[Christina Denton]

I know.

[Ashley]

Because if I am not as lubricated as I typically start to be, I know I'm in my head. And that's so fixable.

[Christina Denton]

This isn't like me. I never need lube. What's happening?

[Ashley]

Yeah, but it's an easy fix.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

We sell great lubes, you guys.

[Christina Denton]

That's right.

[Ashley]

Only but with a guy, that's it. If he can't perform, he actually is in charge of how this is going to go.

[Christina Denton]

Yep.

[Ashley]

So we'd love to talk to you even about that today.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

We had a urologist on years ago.

[Raina]

Reena Malik.

[Ashley]

Rena Malik. And ED is on the rise in general. And you already discussed that it's blood flow or psychological or both. And it's cyclical. Yeah. And I think a lot of women don't know what to do in these situations. And we've hammered this home as much as we can. We've even had men on to discuss this. That it has nothing to do to do with how hot you are for the mostly, you know, especially if this, this is your somebody you've already had sex with, you're in a relationship with, whatever like kind of one night stands excluded. But women take it personally and it's not always about that. And so do you have tips for even just handling that with a partner in the bedroom and what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, I mean I think it's, it's so much of it is again, it's like starts with a conversation. Right. It's like how do we make them feel safe enough to actually talk about this with us? Like rather than internalizing it and making it like blaming ourselves. Right. It's like where can we find the middle ground of going like, hey, how can I help you? Is there something I can do to help you rather than like, oh my God, like am I like you're not attracted? Like I went through that before. Don't get me wrong. Like during this job we all have when we were younger too.

[Raina]

Especially you.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Raina]

Personalize it. Totally. Not in the moment.

[Christina Denton]

I know. And there's a whole systemic thing about women. Like, you know, it's like always our fault.

[Ashley]

Right, Right.

[Christina Denton]

We're not pretty enough, young enough, you know, all the couple things. But. And I don't know how like your, your average age of your audience, but a lot of women haven't had to come up against this yet in. In. Right. And like, once you get to that place, it's like, oh, I didn't think this was gonna happen.

[Raina]

To me, it is really a lot more prevalent, actually.

[Ashley]

No, we're seeing it younger and younger, especially because anxiety generation drug use, like,

[Christina Denton]

not in pharmaceutical drug use. Right. There's so many things that can be caught, that can be just growing up with desensitized dopamine problems from screen time, all the things. Right. There's so many reasons. And so I think again, like, it starts with the conversation of, like, how do we create a safe space where we can actually talk about this? There are so many different things you can do before medication, depending on what's going on. There's also, like I said, you know, the penis boot camps, like lifestyle, like getting, you know, a penis pump, making sure you're working out, making sure you have circulation in your body happening in general.

[Ashley]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

So it's not to say it's all on the guy. I think if you're in a relationship, it's both people. It's like, how do we both support each other through this? Right. And instead of focusing on the shame of it, focus on the solution. I like to be a solution oriented person. I want to focus on how do we fix this. Not like what both of us wallow in all the sadness about it. So again, I'm not a medical expert. I always tell everybody I'm not a medical professional. I just know what I saw and I just know what I witnessed so

[Raina]

that people understand, like the volume. You were seeing 10 dicks a day, five days a week for a year.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah. What at the. Look, here's the thing. And a day, dude, it was exhausting. The thing is, so we were one of the first clinics, if not the first clinic in la, to do this service. And I'm talking, like in all of, like Southern California. Like, it was very new. We were, I called the wild west of dick fixing because we were still figuring out what we were doing in general in our clinic, let alone like, no people were flying in from other states to see, See Me Fun time. They were driving down from other counties like it was crazy. And. And so at the peak I was working 50 hours a week on dicks. When I tell you my neck. My, my. Because it's like literal construction. It's like manual labor. This thing sounds like a jackhammer. It's so aggressive. They're probably.

[Raina]

She was the office manager.

[Christina Denton]

I was answering.

[Ashley]

She's trying to be an actor.

[Christina Denton]

How did we get here?

[Raina]

She was like, I am an actress. I will answer phone phones here. For. For a couple of months, I would

[Christina Denton]

go home every night and be like, what am I doing with my life?

[Raina]

By the way, we will. If people are wondering, we will get to your relationship at the time.

[Christina Denton]

Oh, yeah.

[Raina]

And, like, how that affects you.

[Ashley]

Oh, my God. We have so much more to cover. Yeah.

[Raina]

I wanted to just qualify for people that they understand the volume of dicks you were seeing.

[Christina Denton]

There weren't many clinics doing it outside of the headquarters in Florida.

[Raina]

Right.

[Ashley]

That.

[Christina Denton]

That sort of trained us on this protocol. Right. Of course. It was Florida. All the retirees. Let's go. So we were, like, learning every day how to do this. And we had an incredible marketing team. Like, the guy's background was marketing the owner of the clinic. So if nothing else, we were great at getting people to the clinic. And then I had to sort of as the only technician once we got so, so busy. I mean, my neck and my arm, like, everything was in pain all the time, all of it. I was hurting all the time. And I was like, what am I doing here? But we started trying to train people, and it was really tough to get another person who could handle this. Even nurses who you're like, oh, you're a nurse. Like, you're trained to see crazy shit. No. They were like, I don't think I can do this. And they would bail. And so it was like. And I felt very protective over my clients at a certain point where I was like, okay, not just anyone's gonna walk in here and do this. You need to have a certain personality. You need to, like. I've, like, kind of set this bar of how you're gonna behave, what you're gonna talk about. And if you can't, like, do that, you're not gonna work here. You know what I mean? So it was insane how much I was. And so by the time I left, I looked at, like, my client roster, and I remember clocking the number, and I was like, I worked on over 400 dudes, like, in a year. Like, that's so many different tics attached to so many different problems and stories and shame. And it was crazy.

[Raina]

I mean, the amount of people just walk in every single day, like, with their baggage. Like, yes.

[Christina Denton]

Like, and I'm like, huh? Like, just, like, I had to get, like, things accomplished and hold their stories and remember. And, like, it was so incredible. It changed my life, but it was also extremely exhausting. I was tired all the time.

[Raina]

I want to ask you about people that, like, walked in. You talk a lot about people that walk in with, like, a real sense of, like, bravado. Like, oh, chest puffing. Like, can you. Can you talk about that a little bit and how you kind of got.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Raina]

What was going on?

[Christina Denton]

Which, like, for me, you know, given, like, my dad was very much that guy, right? He was, like, very proud and very, like, arrogant. And so I was trained to deal with men like that from birth, right? I was like, oh, here we are. Here we are again. I wasn't really aware that there was something they were covering until I was in this job, you know, you see, guys, okay, Big, big truck, small dig. Or like, the kind of typical stuff that, like, as women, we would make fun of with men, like, trying to, like, front or whatever. But this was so different, right? So, like, they come in and it's like, like, you. Sometimes they'd see me and they'd be like, her. No, she's not treating me. And I'm like, dude, it's la. I don't know. I'm the only one. Because, yeah, like, I think they were expecting, like, some, like, a grandma that, like, they could feel like they're just being, like, nannied by and they feel

[Raina]

a little less emasculated.

[Christina Denton]

100.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

And so I'd get the, like, uncomfortable questions, like, so where's your boyfriend think of you doing this? Or your husband, like, oh, you've.

[Raina]

I don't know if I could be

[Christina Denton]

with someone who fixes dicks all day. Like, just. Just absolute. Just peacocking, like, deflecting. Trying to put up the front. Like, I know I'm here for my broken dick, but I'm still, like, better than this, you know? Like, they didn't want to allow the reality of what was happening to exist in that room together.

[Raina]

Crazy.

[Ashley]

You were someone they would fuck. So it's like, that's the problem. Like, they wanted some, like, older German lady.

[Christina Denton]

Yes, yes. Like, doesn't speak English so they can have that disconnect.

[Raina]

Not a younger woman who, like, really puts all their problems in front of them. They're like, you are the person I'm getting this fixed for.

[Christina Denton]

Yes, yes. So it took. It took time and it took work for me to also, like, get my ego checked. Because as soon as I would encounter a guy like that, I'm like, that'll be so tough. Like, you're my dad. Like, I'm gonna destroy you. I'm gonna be more powerful or whatever it was, right? Because I didn't want them to be control. In control of me, in control of the conversation.

[Raina]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

And so here I am. Like, at any moment, I could shock your ball and hurt you. Would you say I have that kind of. Kind of brief? No, but I mean, I'm saying, like, I knew internally that, like, I held the power in the room, but how

[Ashley]

did you even deal with those things you were saying, like, that I'm immediately triggered. I don't have the patience or, like, to handle that. Like, I want to clap back, but I was here at work, you know, so.

[Raina]

So how do you, like, deal?

[Ashley]

How did you deal with that?

[Christina Denton]

I think I had to just swallow a lot of, like, words and bite my tongue. I will say, though, in credit to, like, the situation, those behaviors didn't last long. This is, like, so funny. I talk about this in the book, the big reveal moment. So what I would do is I would provide them this medical drape. It was like a big shape sheet, right? And I'd say, okay, like, go and take your pants off, whatever, and, like, lay down. Put the drape over you. Now, the drape is always folded. And so you kind of, like, at the gynecologist, you have to open up the robe and, like, put it on, right? The paper drape. Right. It's so ugly and gross, but we have to do it. And so they would. A lot of times, guys would not open it up, and they would just keep this little square on top of their penis. And they would lay down, and I was like, oh, God. Or they'd open it once every day, and then other guys would get it, and they'd open it, like, put a sheet on. So then there was, like. I talked them through what I was going to do. I was give them, you know, the whole rundown, and then I would do the big reveal of seeing their dick for the first time. They didn't.

[Raina]

The big reveal.

[Christina Denton]

And there's no way. Even though I never said that there's no way. They weren't like, she's seeing my dick. You know what I mean? And I was like, here we go, and I'm going to learn a whole lot about you without ever saying a word, right? Because I'm going to see what your Dick looks like saxophone.

[Ashley]

Start playing louder.

[Christina Denton]

That's right. That's right.

[Raina]

Did you play music in the room?

[Christina Denton]

Oh, yeah.

[Raina]

Okay.

[Christina Denton]

Of course. Like, spa. Like me. No, she.

[Ashley]

Can you imagine? She has sound effects,

[Raina]

and now coming down insane.

[Christina Denton]

Exactly. Hit it. Hit it.

[Raina]

I'm announcing.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah. It's like announcing a boxer's entrance to, like, the ring. Like, I'm just like, yeah, coming out

[Ashley]

of three and a half hard.

[Christina Denton]

Three and a half hard. Yeah.

[Ashley]

The guy that came up in the. In the cyber truck.

[Christina Denton]

That's right.

[Raina]

Music based on how big their dick. That's right.

[Christina Denton]

It's just like, oh, we got to hate Siri. Can you change it to this playlist?

[Raina]

Okay, sure.

[Ashley]

Tell us. Direct correlation between cybertrucks and small dicks. Because I'm sure it's direct. The Venn diagram.

[Christina Denton]

Unfortunately for me, I try really not to think I see it, and I just immediately am like, oh, come on, dude.

[Ashley]

Like, really?

[Christina Denton]

Like, don't advertise.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Raina]

But you do talk about this guy who came in who was particularly unpleasant and not nice, and he had a micro penis.

[Christina Denton]

He was. So that's why we had an inverted penis.

[Raina]

Okay.

[Ashley]

Is big dick energy real in terms of a big, nice cock and a confident. Yeah, normal dude as opposed to the. Also, we're talking about problems with their dick. So size is also involved. Like, a lot of these guys could be insecure about what's actually going on with the dick, but I'm just curious about those guys that act like that. Did it correlate to smaller penises? And we're bigger dick guys. A little cooler.

[Christina Denton]

So here's what I'll say, because I'm meeting them flaccid most of the time,

[Ashley]

which you never know what they're gonna do.

[Christina Denton]

Right. It could be a show or a grower.

[Raina]

We don't know.

[Christina Denton]

We don't know.

[Ashley]

I hooked up with a guy once. I thought it was my first micro penis. The way he got fully hard, I was like, we need more lube. Like, I've never seen it in my life. I did a whole bit about it.

[Christina Denton]

It's crazy, right?

[Raina]

I had the opposite thing happen. I saw one of the biggest dicks I've ever seen in my life. I was like, this is my dream. And I had only ever seen it in, like, videos and photos.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Raina]

When we had sex, and then it went back to normal watching it just

[Christina Denton]

deflated the other way.

[Raina]

I was like, it could get that small. That's crazy.

[Christina Denton]

I know. I can't believe that it's how he functions. So it's just.

[Ashley]

You can, you know, nothing by a glacid penis. Nothing.

[Christina Denton]

Right.

[Ashley]

Unless it's huge. Placid, of course.

[Raina]

No, we. I was, I told. I was like, I can't believe it's still going.

[Christina Denton]

I. It's just shrinking. It's like a slinky.

[Raina]

How did that go to that.

[Christina Denton]

What I will say, because again, I was meeting men with like, mostly flaccid.

[Raina]

Right.

[Christina Denton]

There were some that got erected, of course, but mostly flaccid. I will say I cannot correlate size of dick to size of man. Some of the smallest, littlest men have the giant. This like sausage just.

[Raina]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And a short king with a big

[Christina Denton]

dong and a giant man with like. Where did it go?

[Raina]

When you see a guy that's like 64 and it does not match.

[Christina Denton]

I know, I know the stat.

[Raina]

It is big. It's not big on you.

[Christina Denton]

That's right. That's right.

[Raina]

No, not always.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, it's.

[Ashley]

Listen, sometimes it's just literally not big.

[Raina]

I. I had a 64 guy that he was.

[Ashley]

So wait, tall skinny guys usually are slanging big dicks.

[Christina Denton]

There's a lot of those. I definitely saw a lot of those.

[Raina]

Any other patterns?

[Christina Denton]

The other pattern I saw was body fat and ball size.

[Raina]

Ball bigger and fatter.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah. They're just elegant when you're bigger. Yes.

[Ashley]

Oh, my God.

[Raina]

You know what? I posted dates you like what Ozempic is doing to penises.

[Christina Denton]

Oh, yeah. I wasn't in the clinic when I

[Raina]

worked, so this is, by the way, people don't 2018.

[Christina Denton]

This is 2018. Yeah.

[Raina]

Okay.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah. During the me Too movement.

[Ashley]

What a time.

[Christina Denton]

Which was fascinating to be like, world is bastardizing men. Which I had a lot of my own stories and yet I'm in the witnessing this entirely different side of them. So it was a real mind for me.

[Ashley]

But could you feel men being a hyper aware of not wanting to come off creepy?

[Christina Denton]

I would say that in general because of just what we were doing. There was like. There was only one guy that was super creepy.

[Ashley]

Really?

[Christina Denton]

One dude. And he only had one session and he never came back. He literally leaned up on his elbows the whole time and he's like, you're doing a really good job, like watching me. And I was like, but he shouldn't

[Ashley]

be allowed to come back.

[Christina Denton]

No, he wasn't.

[Ashley]

Did you ever fire anybody?

[Christina Denton]

No, he wasn't allowed to come back. I had moments where I wanted to. It was very rare. I will say, out of the 400, I had maybe two people where I was like, I don't really like working with this guy, but it's. It's just cuz he's weird. But it's not like I feel they were all so humbled by what was going on. There was no way. So it was again, it was another like way for me to be able to be in this situation with men where they didn't have an out to be an asshole. They were. I was like, oh, yeah, your dick is broken in my hand. What are like, what are you gonna do? You know what I mean? So it was such a rare moment for me as a woman to be in that situation and learn what I did.

[Ashley]

Wow.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And then for the most part, did this really work? I mean, did you have guys coming back in their last session and they're so happy and working and things are.

[Christina Denton]

Oh, I got like cards from wives, flowers. Like I met girlfriends that I was not. Like, I've had. I had a couple women watch sessions. I was like, this is. I'm literally working on your partner's penis while you. This is not how I imagined my threesome. Like, you know what I mean? So. Yeah, yeah. Like it was like changing their lives. It was crazy. So I would say the majority of people all. It worked.

[Ashley]

Totally.

[Christina Denton]

It did something for them. You know, it was only people who had like severe health conditions was most of those guys. We didn't even take them as clients because we don't want to waste their money, which wasn't fair. But yeah, it really did work. It was incredible.

[Raina]

You wrote this thing. I want to unpack this like, thought starter with you. You said, I learned that men could hurt the same way that we do and women can hurt men with the same precision. And I think that we just forget sometimes that like men can go through the same stuff that women can go through and they can hurt the way that we can. But I was hoping you could like maybe speak on that a little bit and maybe even like related to like Jack and Veronica.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, yeah, no, I, I'll bring that up. So I, you know, growing up with a complicated, alcoholic, verbally abusive father, I'm just going to throw that all out there in one sentence. Taught me men weren't safe in general. Like, I did not have a good first impression. So I either dated men just like him, like jerks, abusive men, or I went for like the guy who was. Was like the beta doormat guy who was like. I was like, oh, I feel in control of this. He's never going to Hurt me. This is good. And those were the two opinions I had of men. I was like, men fit in two categories. That was it. I was very black and white. I get in this job. I had this client, Jack, comes in all peacocking, totally. Like, my wife and I have an open relationship. Like, you know, And I was like, am I supposed to be turned on by that? Like, I didn't know what he was like, I was like, are you trying to pull me into this? Because I'm not into this. And I call him Jack. And then turns out, a couple of sessions later, he admits to me that his wife's actually just having an affair with a man. That. And he's not doing anything. And he's calling it an open relationship to make himself feel better, but it's really just like, this affair. And I'm like, well, aren't you supposed to be dating, too, if you're. And he's like, I've never hooked up with anybody. And I'm like, now it all makes sense why he was peacocking, why he had to cover. And then I just saw the broken boy. I saw the broken man on my table, right? And so it was. It was so weird for me. And then she came in, right? He was going to stop sessions and go work. I connected him to a sex therapist. He was going to go work on his marriage. She ends up coming in with him one session and is, like, going to get a treatment of her own and wanted to. Like, he wanted her to be in the room with him. They had, like, repaired things, and so she's in the room. She's not allowed.

[Ashley]

You can bring a guest.

[Raina]

Hey, your wife, I guess.

[Christina Denton]

I mean, apparently we were. We were rewriting the rules every day. There was no pamphlet. There was no rule. There was no HR department. There was no hipaa. Like, we didn't know what we were doing. So she was. Was like,

[Raina]

I didn't know what I was doing.

[Ashley]

I'm like, you got to come to this. Get me on Instagram stories. Let's go live.

[Christina Denton]

She's like, oh, my God. Hashtag.

[Raina]

She's like, do you have the right angle? Get it up.

[Christina Denton]

That's right. Yeah, that's right. It was so insane.

[Ashley]

Being shocked.

[Christina Denton]

Yes.

[Raina]

FaceTime.

[Christina Denton]

Shock them back to life. So she's in there, and she's literally on her phone the whole time, not even looking up. And he's like, babe, babe. See, like, this is Christina. Like, it's so cool. I'm so happy you're meeting her. See, I told you, babe. Babe, like, this poor guy, he's, like, clearly looking for attention. She's not giving it to him at all. She could give a fuck about him. I could just see it. I'm like, wherever she is is not here. Right? And then it was like, her turn. And so, like, that was the first time where I was like, oh, my God, women can be villains just like men. Like, they can hurt. Like, he was clearly hurting. And it broke my heart. And it made me see my parents in a very different way. And the lack of attention my mom was giving my dad. And now he was trying to, like,

[Ashley]

be like, hey, look at me, look at me.

[Christina Denton]

You know, and we're just. And so it flipped the script for me. And I started going like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on. Like, guys are just little boys. They're trying to just get their right. Get attention the way we are. They just do it in different ways. And it really changes the way I see men completely after that. And there were so many examples like that through the clinic that I saw. It was crazy.

[Ashley]

I mean, we can sympathize and empathize with men all day. Broken men typically cause harm to the world, to their children, to whatever they do. I'm not gonna get too bleak with it. So that's the issue I have. And so, of course. But we need them to work on it so they stop causing so much harm. Like, that's where I think women have a lot of this lack of sympathy.

[Christina Denton]

Cause it's like, when issues don't cause

[Ashley]

harm the way that men do.

[Christina Denton]

Right.

[Ashley]

But I still, like, it's an important discussion to have. We can't just completely invalidate their experiences.

[Christina Denton]

Exactly. And I think. And this is like a bold swing for me to say, but I do think there's still, like, a responsibility on us to make them feel safe to be able to do that. Right. We can't be so, like, anti men and so against them that they're like, yeah, go heal in solidarity. Like, go figure it out by yourselves. Like, we still have to be like, if you do, we're here, right? We're not abandoning you just because we're so. We have a generational, like, multi. Generational anger issue with them. And. And I. Because I get it, I come from that. But now I'm like, now I'm starting to see this from a different light. I'm like, okay, now what is my responsibility as women? Knowing this truth that I've discovered, knowing this information, how do I participate in Their healing, rather than just being like, well, we'll be here when you're ready. Right. It's an interesting take.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And you did a lot of good in the world, you know, like, I

[Christina Denton]

think that's helping people have sex again. Since 2018.

[Ashley]

Lot of men.

[Raina]

I mean, I really initially was like, is this gonna be, like, really a male apologist to you? Like I said. And it's just not. You don't write about it like that. You just are like, they have the same experience as us.

[Christina Denton]

It's a messy middle, to Ashley's point.

[Raina]

You know, a lot of that manifests in a way that, like, people become like your father and that harms the other people in their life. But I think the way you talk about it isn't like we should feel bad for them. It's just like, these stories exist and

[Ashley]

there's hope, and they can. Most hopefully of them can be rehabilitated

[Christina Denton]

if they want to.

[Ashley]

To be.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

So what happened with Jack and Veronica? Or read the book, you guys.

[Christina Denton]

Well, read the book. I did treat her, and I really wanted to, like, not treat her and just. I was, like, so angry with her because I felt protective of him. I had seen the little boy. I had seen the hurting. And in our private sessions, and now I'm, like, witnessing the woman. But I'm like. It made me really go, there's two truths. There's. There's multiple. I don't know her story. I don't know her experience with him at home.

[Ashley]

And you don't know how she. He's treated her.

[Christina Denton]

Exactly.

[Ashley]

Point.

[Christina Denton]

All of that, right? So it's sort of. It just opened my eyes that it's like, there's no way that I can only be all for women all the time. Like, it's. It's situational. There's nuance, right? There has to be nuance these days. We have to bring that back into the conversation. So it just. That was like the first time that I was like, can I hold two truths and live in a messy middle? It's like the only way we can really function. It's.

[Raina]

You're right. There's context, nuance to everything.

[Christina Denton]

And I had this.

[Raina]

I had a friend who would shop this story around a lot, that her ex ghosted her, and she would just really, like, gas everybody up about how terrible he was.

[Christina Denton]

And he.

[Raina]

Can you believe this? He woke up one morning, just fucking left me. The truth of the story, the man is they were in therapy. He was in individual therapy. I know he tried to work on this and talk to her about this half a dozen times. And when the information wouldn't get through, then yes, one day he woke up and said, I'm leaving. But there's so much nuance and context to that. Yeah, it paints him in this horrible light, but it's not the truth of the story.

[Ashley]

And that truth exists too with other relationships.

[Christina Denton]

Right.

[Ashley]

Men do just wake up with no warning and do that shit, you know, and that happened. Women are the victim.

[Christina Denton]

Totally.

[Ashley]

But yeah, let's maybe wrap up with your relationship at the time.

[Raina]

I think a lot of people, I mean, it's the same question Ashley and I get when people are like, what do your partners feel about you guys being comedians? Like, right. So I'm sure you get this question a lot. But you were in a relationship, a long time relationship. What did he think about it? What was that relationship like?

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, so that was, it was a very long relationship. We were in. It was total of seven years. We were all together before the job. He was very supportive of me. Like, he was very secure in a lot of ways. Like he was, thankfully we were talking about earlier, like he was a very secure guy, but we weren't having sex. So I was in a sexless relationship. While I'm talking about dick fixing, sex, positivity, trying to get people to have sex again. And I'm having no sex in my,

[Ashley]

my life just for any specific reason or.

[Christina Denton]

Well, see, I didn't know it had nothing. You would be like, oh, did he have Ed? And it's like, no, he just. I examine this thoroughly in the book because I don't know exactly what started this, but this had already been going on for a while. And I'd be like, are you gay? Like, am I, am I just not attractive anymore? Like, I went through the gamut because sex has always been very important to me.

[Raina]

Number one.

[Christina Denton]

Like, I'm like, it's like, that's how I communicate and have fun. Like, this is like, where how are we not going to have this in a long term relationship? And for him, I think what I witness is a man who was a boy coming into his manhood. We were in our early 30s. But like he, the stresses of life got to him so bad. The responsibility of like paying bills and like, oh my God, I'm in a relationship and we have dogs and one of them has epilepsy. And like, and it's just like, I think it put him so in his head that he couldn't connect to his body. Like he's the kind of guy that would not have a stress outlet would not be sex. That's my stress outlet. We were different, right. In that regard. And so I was just watching this and, like. But it hurt me. Like, it was like something was wrong with me, and it made me feel like such a hypocrite at work all the time, because I'm like, you had sex. I'm so happy for you. You know what I mean? So we went through a lot of different things to try to fix this therapy we did. You know, getting him on hormones. Like, maybe his testosterone's low. Maybe we try to do.

[Ashley]

Talking about it wasn't just, like, it would fit in the room. Okay.

[Christina Denton]

I was like, okay. I did. I did every version of, like, thing you could do to try to fix this. And it just wouldn't give you a straight up answer. Right.

[Raina]

And maybe he didn't have.

[Christina Denton]

I don't think he knew. I truly believe that he didn't know. I think ultimately he didn't know this at the time, and I didn't know this time. I think he felt severely emasculated by me. Sure. I was making so much money. He was not. I was. Have this crazy purpose and this. I was like. Had a big acting job and this career and this. And I think he just felt like he couldn't measure up. And I think it just stunted his ability to feel like he was worthy of me. And he was, like, my safe, beta male guy. Like, he was, like, such a sweet guy when we met. And, like, he didn't even have sex with me for, like, the first, like, three dates. I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? You know? Like, I was like, take your clothes off. I'm done with this shit. You know? And so if I didn't look at that and pay attention from the beginning, he was always this guy, which, like,

[Ashley]

you said, you had to attack one of two types.

[Christina Denton]

Yes.

[Raina]

And did you guys have sex in the beginning and it kind of petered off?

[Christina Denton]

Yeah, like, the first year. But he was also, like, he was getting out of grad school. Like, the world was, like, in front of. Right. It was like, everything was possible. There was no responsibilities. Like, it was just. There was a lot of freedom. And so it was easy relationship. Yes.

[Ashley]

Like, spontaneous desire.

[Christina Denton]

Yep. And real life started sinking in, and it just. That went away. And I was like, wait, what? Like, I didn't sign up for this, you know, but you're integrated in. Your life is. And it. And it happens so slowly and gradually that it isn't like you're trying to hold on to. Like, wait, remember when we were just those people?

[Raina]

Like, right. Like we could get it back.

[Christina Denton]

Yeah.

[Raina]

Did you like, was your self talk at that time, like, I can live without this?

[Christina Denton]

No.

[Raina]

Okay.

[Christina Denton]

Could not.

[Raina]

But was it like I found this nice person? Like, I should try it harder? I mean, you stayed for a long time.

[Christina Denton]

I did, I did. And I, I think I was scared. Right. We had so much good. And a lot of times for me is like, if there's a clear reason to leave somebody, you're like, oh, this is easy. When there's, when there's not something that you can just go, I'm leaving because they cheated. I'm leaving because da da da. I think I was confused in my own development of like, he's a good person, but it doesn't mean he's right for me. And I didn't have that awareness yet. I was like, oh, I'm the bad guy if I leave because there's so much that is working in the day to day life. Yes. And he was so kind and he was such a supporter. He's like my little puppy dog. He was like my fan. Like, And I was like, oh. But I was like, wait, I didn't, I didn't actually want that. I wanted like the man who's gonna throw me up against the wall and fuck my brains out, but then also cuddle with me afterward. Like, that's what I wanted.

[Raina]

It's hard. You're in those relationships and you're like, this is a nice person. And I see all this bad behavior around me and my friends.

[Ashley]

Relationships.

[Christina Denton]

That's right. And I have it, so I should be lucky.

[Raina]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

We'll figure out how to fix this. And then it just kept not getting fixed.

[Ashley]

So now your husband, from what we've heard so far, masculine guy.

[Christina Denton]

He is a ma.

[Ashley]

Like, is he just got a.

[Christina Denton]

No, I think he's a blend. He's like the hybrid of like all of the versions. Like the, the two extremes. Like, he's like the badass army ranger who has been trained, you know, kill people. And that's so hard. So I feel protected. It's so hot. Right? I like, she gets it. Yeah. I'm like, so you know, you're like, oh, I'm always going to be saying, you know, harder.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Christina Denton]

But he's also a sweet guy and he's also just come out of the military. So we're doing dealing with all of those transitions and him coming into civilian life for good. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he retired. Like, he's almost 24 years. He's like, I'm out. And that's been hard. And so it's a whole other layer of, like, our relationship being, like, where it's like, now he's coming into his vulnerability and his, like, identity crisis. And so a lot of the tools that I learned over the years, doing the things that I did in writing this book, I'm applying now to my relationship. I'm like, I learned how to forgive my dad knowing my dad had shame that I didn't know he had. Seeing these men in shame. And I'm like, if a man is hurting me because of his own suffering, I don't learn how to have grace for that. I didn't learn anything from this book.

[Ashley]

Totally.

[Christina Denton]

Does that make sense? So, like, that's kind of where we're in kind of a current, like, crisis stage of like, trying to help him figure out who he is again. And it's hard. It's really complicated.

[Ashley]

I can't imagine that. I can't imagine two decades plus his entire identity. Loss of identity.

[Christina Denton]

And I think that's a whole other book.

[Ashley]

Yes. And I think that, like, impacts men. And I've seen this with my dad, with his health and whatnot. Like men losing their identity because I think women are so we're able to discover new things and pick up new hobbies and friends and new purpose. Exactly. We pivot easier, I think, and can mourn a loss of identity and find the next thing. I think men struggle with that a little bit more.

[Christina Denton]

They really do. I'm watching it happen.

[Raina]

Well, stay tuned for the next book, you guys.

[Christina Denton]

I know. Yeah.

[Raina]

I just. I have to gas you up. Even just this book is fantastic. People will love it. I cannot recommend it enough. It comes out on June 30, so you can pre order it now on Amazon or anywhere that you get books. Right. It's just fantastic. You don't know. Really on such a, like, different interesting project.

[Ashley]

Exactly. There's. There's just a lot of the same out there and so something that really feels unique and different in the perspective and it's emotional ride to too with the humor. It's really beautiful.

[Christina Denton]

So, yeah. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful.

[Raina]

Tell people anywhere else they can find you.

[Christina Denton]

My Instagram's Christina7Denton. With a K, by the way. With a K. And yeah, I'm putting all my book stuff, tour information, things like that up there. So.

[Ashley]

Okay, perfect. Great. Like a little link tree vibe.

[Christina Denton]

Check out Instagram Exactly.

[Raina]

We love a link tree links and bios. There it is.

[Ashley]

And we are girls gotta eat.com girls got eat podcast and Instagram and Tik Tok I I am Ash has some Instagram and Tik tok raina is raina.greenberg raina greenberg.com for her tour tickets in the fall. And you could watch full video. We recommend it for this one. It's really wonderful on Spotify or YouTube. Share this episode with a friend or a man in need and we will see you Thursday.

[Raina]

Have a great week guys. Bye.

[Christina Denton]

Ra.