Girls Gotta Eat — "Is It Me…or Are My Friends Leaving Me Out?"

Release Date: February 23, 2026
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine (A) & Rayna Greenberg (B)
Podcast Network: Dear Media

Episode Overview

Ashley and Rayna tackle one of the most emotionally complex topics: friendship breakups and the distressing feeling of being left out. Drawing from listener stories, their own experiences, and plenty of humor, the hosts examine why adult friendships can be messier than romantic relationships, when it’s time to let go, and why feeling excluded stings so much. The episode delivers practical advice, explores awkward interpersonal group dynamics, and reminds listeners that friend groups are ever-evolving, sometimes painfully so.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Coffee Habits & Catch-Ups (00:27–04:13)

• The hosts open with a lighthearted chat about knowing each other's everyday quirks and coffee habits as "partners in life."
• Memorable quote:
  Ashley: “I didn’t know if you were like, oh, after 4pm, I can’t. I’ll never go to sleep.”
  (01:26)
• This segues into an anecdote about too many espresso martinis at a Bravo event, setting the comedic and casual tone.

Housekeeping: Live Shows, Kitchen Sink App, Singapore Honeymoon (04:13–13:19)

• Ashley’s live shows in LA, Philly, and Salt Lake City: Updates, ticket info, playful self-promotion.
• Kitchen Sink app: Rayna plugs her husband’s cooking/recipe app, excited about new premium features like social imports, pantry management, and recipe modification.
  • Memorable quote:
    Rayna: "It's gonna change your fucking life!" (07:44)
• Travel Announcement: Rayna and Shashank are going to Singapore for their honeymoon, invited by the Singapore tourism board and mentioning a contest for singles to win a trip (apply at firstdateinsingapore.com).
• Discussion of the vibrant food scene in Singapore and past solo adventures.
  • Memorable quote:
    Ashley: "That's my fucking jam right there is...order and cleanliness." (12:22)

Accidental Facebook Drama & Messages from the Past (13:19–18:27)

• Rayna discovers all her Instagram posts have been shared to her dormant Facebook for years, sparking reconnections with old friends, teachers, and exes via comments and messages.
• Hilarious exchanges about people replying to messages after 15 years.
  • Memorable quote:
    Rayna: “Hey, sorry. Just saw this message 15 years later. Hope it worked out.” (17:08)

Photo Etiquette on Dating Apps (18:32–25:40)

• Discussion about people, especially men, posting photos with kids (their own or relatives) on dating profiles.
• Debate about whether it’s appropriate or odd to post children you don't parent yourself. Ashley and Rayna explore parental discretion.
  • Ashley: “Other people’s kids to me don’t belong on dating apps.” (18:48)
• Funeral Photos on Dating Profiles: Listener submits a profile featuring two funeral pics—one featuring the man carrying a casket!
  • Outrage and disbelief ensue as the hosts speculate about the intent and inappropriateness.
  • Memorable moments:
    Ashley: “He was like, I crushed it at this funeral. I look so good at this funeral!” (20:27)
    Rayna: "Is he sympathy sex shopping?" (24:14)

Main Segment: Friendship Dilemmas & Being Left Out (29:54–78:37)

Why Friendship Breakups Hurt So Much (29:54–34:43)

• Rayna: Friendship breakups often hurt more than romantic ones; they’re often ambiguous with no “official ending.”
• Ashley: “Friendships ebb and flow…life is long and I’ve had plenty of friends I moved away from and came back to.” (31:11)
• Encouragement: New friends at any age are possible and important ("one of my mom’s best friends she made in her 50s!").

Navigating Growing Apart, Conflict, and Outgrowing Friends (34:43–39:04)

• Friendships change due to life phases—marriage, kids, moving.
• The importance of self-reflection, accountability, but also recognizing when a friendship has reached its natural conclusion.

Feeling Left Out & Group Dynamics (39:22–45:05)

• Both hosts validate how painful exclusion can be, especially as adults; it often triggers old insecurities or “inner child” wounds.
  • Ashley: “It takes a lot of vulnerability to say ‘I felt left out.’ You feel kind of pathetic." (39:22)
• Group vs. one-on-one hangouts: Nuances when friends hang out without you; sometimes it’s innocent, sometimes not.
• The awkwardness when friends you introduce become closer with each other.

Specific Listener Dilemmas: Advice & Analysis

1. The Friendship Love Triangle (46:09–53:49)

• “Sarah” and “James” (from a trio friend group) hook up, have drama; Sarah expects the third friend to ice out James but things escalate with lies about sleeping together.
• Ashley: “Sarah is an asshole...she didn’t play this right from the start.” (47:48)
• Key advice:
  • You can (and sometimes should) defend your integrity if lies are being spread about you.
  • Address things calmly, directly, and clarify rumors with mutual friends as needed.

2. The Connector Gets Left Out (53:49–61:19)

• Listener introduces two friends; the newer, “clout-chasing” friend gets closer with the longer-term, sincere friend. Now planning a small wedding, she wonders if she should invite the more superficial/newer friend.
• Rayna: “It’s not villain behavior to be like, I have this event in my life...and there’s some clarity in that.” (55:57)
• Advice: Prioritize your own emotional safety; you can let friendships fade that don’t serve you. Talk to trusted inner-circle friends for perspective. Be proactive but diplomatic if necessary.

3. Bridesmaid Box Exclusion (61:19–68:27)

• Listener realizes she wasn’t included as a bridesmaid; feels blindsided after years of assuming mutual commitment.
• Both hosts encourage reaching out—either via text or in person—to get clarity rather than spiraling in uncertainty.
  • Ashley: “You have to ask...unless you literally don’t fucking care. But you do, because you emailed us.” (65:21)
  • Rayna provides a gentle sample message for raising the issue.

4. Losing Mom Friends After Life Transitions (70:21–78:37)

• Young woman excluded after her two close friends both have kids; attempts to maintain the friendship, is repeatedly snubbed, and even targeted by mean, “toxic” behavior.
• Events escalate to husbands dropping out of her wedding last minute and possible infidelity among friends.
• Rayna: “I think healthy friendships don’t require you to like, constantly audit…‘Why am I being left out?’” (75:50)
• Ashley: “Don’t cling to toxic friendships…you have to let them go to make space for healthy friendships.” (74:32)
• Conclusion: Let these unhealthy connections fade and make room for people who genuinely show up.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Ashley: “Friendships ebb and flow…you can drift apart and come back together.” (31:11)
• Rayna: “Sometimes the answer is: you’ve just outgrown this. You’re in different phases of life.” (38:56)
• Ashley: “It takes a lot of vulnerability to say I felt left out. You feel kind of pathetic.” (39:22)
• Rayna: “Don’t cling to toxic friendships...let them go to make space for healthy ones.” (74:32)
• Ashley: “Good times together don’t erase consistent disrespect.” (76:24)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:27–04:13 | Casual banter, coffee and partner quirks
• 04:13–13:19 | Tour updates, Kitchen Sink app, Singapore trip announcement
• 13:19–18:27 | Accidental Facebook cross-posting, messages from the past
• 18:32–25:40 | Dating app photo etiquette: kids and funerals
• 29:54–34:43 | Friendship breakups—why they hurt
• 34:43–39:04 | Outgrowing friends and life transitions
• 39:22–45:05 | Group dynamics, being left out, trios
• 46:09–53:49 | Listener email: Friendship, love triangle, rumors
• 53:49–61:19 | Listener email: Connector left out, wedding guest list
• 61:19–68:27 | Listener email: Bridesmaid box heartbreak
• 70:21–78:37 | Listener email: Mom friends, exclusion, toxicity

Tone & Style

• Warm, humorous, relatable, and candid—typical of "Girls Gotta Eat."
• Hosts validate tough feelings but balance it with pragmatic, sometimes tough-love advice.
• Language is occasionally explicit, maintaining their on-brand irreverence.

Summary

"Is It Me…or Are My Friends Leaving Me Out?" is a raw, honest deep-dive into the pain and awkwardness of modern adult friendships. Ashley and Rayna use their rapport—and listener stories—to explore the growing pains, emotional triggers, and gray areas. They encourage self-reflection but remind listeners: you’re allowed to grow, change, grieve, and make boundaries. As always, they make the hard stuff feel a little lighter—and a lot less lonely.