Location Sharing and Big D*ck Problems with Anna Roisman

Summary

Girls Gotta Eat: "Location Sharing and Big D*ck Problems" with Anna Roisman

Release Date: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine (A), Rayna Greenberg (C)
Guest: Anna Roisman (B)

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into modern relationship dynamics with Girls Gotta Eat’s signature humor—unpacking everything from uncomfortable wardrobe choices and location sharing to unforgettable stories about sex, dating, and awkward family encounters. Special guest Anna Roisman, comedian and impressionist, joins with hilarious insights, tales from her long-term relationship, and a Kris Jenner impression that steals the show. The team also tackles listener questions about hygiene dealbreakers, insecurity-induced icks, and—yes—what to do about a boyfriend with a penis that’s just too big.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bodysuit Trauma and Dressing Discomfort

[00:24–02:22]

• Rayna and Ashley share stories about bodysuits, thongs, and labia discomfort.
• Discussion on why women accept discomfort for fashion and evolving personal standards.
• Ashley references a White Lotus quote:

  "I'm just not meant to live an uncomfortable life. And I think about it every time I put a thong in my labia." ([01:19], Ashley)

• Laughter about the humiliating logistics of undressing and bodysuit snaps.

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2. Regional Slang & Lexicon

[04:01–06:03]

• Fun chat about regional terms like "kick off," meaning to start drama, and "bagging up" for laughing a lot.
• Ashley's Delaware and Philly ties highlighted; explains Delco = Delaware County.

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3. Travel, Family Visits & the Humbling Experience of Staying with Parents

[07:45–11:52]

• Rayna recounts travels between London, Soho Farmhouse, and Pittsburgh, citing exhaustion and the awkwardness of being a guest as an adult.
• Ashley observes:

  "Nothing humbles you and makes you feel like you shouldn’t be allowed to be a grownup in this world than, like, staying at your parents' house." ([08:15])

• Both discuss the merits of only staying in hotels nicer than your own home.

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4. Hotel Room Stories: Nudes, Fart Walks, and Adult Sleepovers

[12:21–16:53]

• Rayna describes bonding with a friend by unapologetically taking nudes in their shared hotel room.
• Ashley hilariously describes her husband, Shashank, taking a "fart walk" down the hotel hallway to spare her, but the fart is still audibly epic.

  "He was like, I was all the way at the elevators." ([15:13], Ashley)

• Amusing debate on privacy, comfort, and relationship milestones.

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5. Family & Sibling Dynamics

[16:55–18:24]

• Ashley celebrates time with her nephews and describes distinct personalities, projecting on their future.
• Rayna reflects on family holiday traditions.

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6. Plane Etiquette: Worst Behaviors

[18:24–20:54]

• Rayna’s horror story about a plane neighbor: man-spreading, turning on overhead lights, rolling pants up, taking shoes off—but shockingly, watching softcore (Netflix’s "Hunting Wives") in full view.

  "He is just bricked up next to me on this flight, this man watching Hunting Wives." ([19:24], Rayna)

• Both ponder the etiquette around watching explicit content publicly.

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7. Unexpected Encounters: Funeral Fiasco & "Big Dick Guy’s Mom"

[21:01–25:48]

• Rayna shares a mortifying funeral moment: a woman recognizes her and says, in front of her dad and aunt, “You hooked up with my son”—referring to a legendary hand job at summer camp.

  "You hooked up with my son. She said it with her whole chest." ([23:31], Rayna)

• Reflections on adolescent sexual milestones and hilarious speculation about the "hand job to end all hand jobs."

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8. Introducing Anna Roisman

[29:38–34:05]

• Anna recaps her career as comedian, host, HQ Trivia anchor, and viral impressionist.
• Famous for impressions of Kris Jenner, Steve (from SATC), Hilaria Baldwin (including a viral TikTok).
• Anecdote: Anna’s Hilaria impression caught Melissa Rivers' attention, resulting in a three-hour dinner:

  "To have her blessing … that is the biggest compliment." ([32:51], Anna)

• Anna collaborated briefly with Hilaria Baldwin for a video—details on internet backlash.

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9. Life as an Impressionist & Content Creator

[34:43–38:40]

• Anna grew up impersonating people, mastered her craft through UCB and pandemic lockdown content.
• (Steve impression originated in lockdown: "My boyfriend was like, this must be so funny if he’s laughing." [37:16])
• Dream job: Hosting late-night, sketch-heavy, Jimmy Kimmel-style show.

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10. Anna’s Long-Term Relationship:

[38:47–41:24]

• Together with Jared for 9 years, met at UCB.

  "I was in my sluttiest phase ever ... and left to hook up with a drummer." ([39:46], Anna)

• Met again at a small birthday dinner ("on amoxicillin and Jell-O shots")—Anna mooning on first date led to their WiFi password: RipSenorFrogs.

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11. Dating, Marriage & Kids – To Wed or Not to Wed?

[52:03–56:39]

• When did people stop asking Anna about marriage? “After year six, they stopped.” ([52:30], Anna)
• Anna is candid: “I never cared about a dream wedding. I only cared about my career.” ([53:03])
• Wedding planning horror stories—her mother nearly ruined her sister’s wedding and soured Anna on the whole process.
• Kids? A clear “No,” decided on day one of their relationship.

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12. Living with a Partner in NYC

[58:52–61:04]

• Anna and Jared’s one-bedroom apartment trials after living in LA with more space—confessed they need breathing room but are now “super codependent.”

• "We live in the best area, great building, but yeah, we need our fucking space." ([59:07], Anna)

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13. Location Sharing: Do or Don’t?

[61:07–65:14]

• Anna doesn’t share locations with Jared, but both can see “Andy,” a friend, and laugh about it.
• Hilarious reveal: Rayna admits to secretly tracking Ashley’s location for a month through a group chat mishap.

  "This went on for a month ... every time I wanted to know where you were." ([62:55], Rayna)

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14. Anna as Dating Guru & Matchmaker

[65:35–66:44]

• Friends approach Anna for blunt dating advice ("I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This person doesn't care about you.").
• Her track record: "Everyone I've set up has hooked up ... but they don’t date." ([66:07], Anna)

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Listener Q&A / Relationship Problem Solving

[70:00–76:19] Listener Email 1: Hygiene Dealbreaker

• Listener’s partner has poor hygiene, showers rarely, and is grossing her out.
• Advice: Direct, compassionate honesty is crucial—frame improvements as leading to more intimacy.

  "I would love to suck your dick more. Here’s how you can help yourself: please take a shower." ([71:08], Rayna)

• Anna’s wisdom:

  "If this person’s not going to shower and gets in your bed every night, that’s disgusting." ([72:05], Anna)

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[76:19–82:53] Listener Email 2: Insecure Boyfriend—"The Ick"

• Boyfriend, recently cheated on by a fiancée, is now suspicious over minor things (wallpaper, old Facebook pics).
• Hosts’ consensus: Validate feelings, have the conversation, but be cautious—early relational insecurity often signals bigger issues.

  "If you have to write, 'Should I ride it out?' and it’s only been since May, that’s rough." ([78:54], Anna)

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[84:36–93:14] Listener Email 3: “Too Well-Endowed” Boyfriend

• Listener feels ridiculous but says her boyfriend’s penis is so large sex is painful and daunting.
• Anna delivers a legendary Kris Jenner impression, sharing wisdom as if talking about Corey Gamble:

  "You gotta look in the mirror and say to your vagina: You're doing amazing, sweetie." ([87:19], Anna/Kris)

• Real Talk: Use lots of lube, communicate, try gradual adaptation, but know when to accept physical limits. Painful sex can be a dealbreaker, and it’s not uncommon for things just to be, well, too big.

  "You have to work a little harder for it, but if you want this person, try your best." ([91:45], Anna)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "We are really excited for this. It’s our biggest show of the year. Wildest. Tons of entertainment. It’s gonna be so fun. It’s gonna be wild night Saturday night. Come get lit, get loose." ([07:04], Rayna)
• "There’s nothing that humbles you, makes you feel so like I shouldn't be allowed to be a grownup in this world than, like, staying at your parents' house." ([08:15], Ashley)
• "He was like, 'I was all the way at the elevators.' I was like, you went all the way down the hall? How did I hear that? We’re about to get a noise complaint." ([15:02], Ashley)
• On plane porn:
  "He is just bricked up next to me on this flight, this man watching Hunting Wives." ([19:24], Rayna)
• "You hooked up with my son. She said it with her old chest." ([23:31], Rayna)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:24–02:22: Bodysuit & Fashion Discomfort
• 04:01–05:31: Slang Revelations
• 07:45–11:52: Family Visiting, Humility, and Hotel Life
• 12:21–16:53: Nude Photos & Fart Walks
• 18:24–20:54: Plane Behavior Horror Story
• 21:01–25:48: Funeral Hook-Up Reveal & “Big Dick Guy” Story
• 29:38–34:05: Anna Roisman Career & Impressions
• 38:47–41:24: Anna’s Relationship Beginnings
• 52:03–56:39: Marriage, Adulting, No Kids
• 61:07–65:14: Location Sharing Revelations
• 70:00–76:19: Hygiene Q&A
• 76:19–82:53: Insecure Boyfriend Q&A
• 84:36–93:14: Too Well-Endowed Q&A & Kris Jenner Impression

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Comedic, raw, and open – The hosts and guest don't shy away from taboo or awkward details.
• Real-life modern dating dilemmas are presented both empathetically and hilariously.
• The vibe is "brunch with your most honest, funny friends."

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Where to Find More

• Anna Roisman: @AnnaRoisman on Instagram; upcoming one-woman show "Triple Threat" at Joe’s Pub, January 7.
• Girls Gotta Eat: Official Website, Instagram, YouTube.

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Share this episode with a friend—especially one who needs laugh-out-loud dating advice, a Kris Jenner impression, or reassurance that big dick and hygiene problems are, in fact, very real!

Transcript

[A]

I remember watching that sex tape, and I could not believe it.

[B]

Why do you think I put it out there? I knew a star when I saw.

[A]

This. Podcast is a Dear Media production.

[C]

Hi, guys.

[A]

Hi, guys.

[C]

Welcome back to another episode. Up, girls. Gotta eat.

[A]

Welcome back. I'm so uncomfortable.

[C]

Is your body suit.

[A]

I have just a thong in my labia.

[C]

Okay. Does somebody ever say something to you and, like, you're not aware of it, and then you be, okay, so let me, like, okay, you started talking about your labia, and I'm not wearing a bodysuit. I don't really wear bodysuits that much anymore. And. But, like, then you started talking about how your shirt's up inside your vagina, and I was like, now I feel that my thong is up inside it, and I wasn't aware of my labia previously.

[A]

Sympathy pains. I mean, I think about it all the time. Where you retired from bodysuits before me.

[C]

You think about that a lot.

[A]

Yes, every time. Because when you said you were doing it, I was like, I would never. And I was still deep in my bodysuit era.

[C]

You're sure I was still deep in your poison?

[A]

Yes. And now I'm like, is my vagina getting bigger?

[C]

No. You've complained for years about bodysuits. I'm just. I can't believe that I got to this quicker than you, but I just dealt with it.

[A]

I think a lot about the Victoria Ratliff quote from White Lotus. I'm just not meant to live an uncomfortable life. And I think about it every time I put a thong in my labia.

[C]

I just. I don't think I even thought about being uncomfortable. It's just like being a woman's uncomfortable. Everything you do is uncomfy.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm just like. You were like, I'm done living that life. And I was like, raina, grow up. Everybody wants this life.

And I still think of all the live shows I wore them for, and I was just so uncomfortable. And I was like, well, this is life. And now it's like, I can't get through the day.

[C]

Okay. I was thinking yesterday, they're like a man undressing you, and he takes your pants off and, like, your shirt is in your butthole. Like, that's sexy. We're running around like toddlers in a. In a leotard.

[A]

Nothing more embarrassing than buttoning your bodysuit in front of your man.

[C]

I don't do that.

[A]

Just.

[C]

No, I don't do reach. Or you give yourself a reach around. You hold it up. You can't quite get the snap in the other snap.

[A]

Like I used to be like, he can never see this. And now I'm like, just look away. Just look away.

We're married now, so you have to deal with this.

[C]

I do a couple of like corset bodysuits and that's it. I don't really wear a lot of. I like. I like crop tops now. I'm a crop topper.

[A]

Yeah, I've always been both. But yeah, it's rarely that I'm in a bodysuit. So anyway, if I seem a little chippy today, this is the second time.

[C]

You said chippy to me today and I've heard you say it zero times in the.

[A]

It's a new one for me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I've been looking for this word for years and like I make it up. No, it just means, you know, snippy short.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

I saw it in a video with Drake and Bobby Altoff. Okay. I went deep on like what's been going on with her?

[C]

What is going on with her?

[A]

Well, she has a new man and people are pissed about it. This could probably be like a snack topic. And people say that are saying the meanest stuff to her about it. And she was like crying on Tick tock. She's removed the. I think she took down the crying. Tick tock.

[C]

Have some like + plastic surgery issue too.

[A]

She's had like botox issues like in her jaw and stuff like that. But people are really mean to her. And she was like crying on TikTok like over Thanksgiving and I think she took it down. But then I cut. I kind of forgotten about her. So then I went deep and then I. There was a clip about her and Drake and their fight and they did the YouTube video and then it got taken down and they really got in a fight and Drake was like, I was being a little chippy and I was like, that's the word I've been looking for for years.

[C]

Like, like chip on your shoulder.

[A]

No, just Reina.

[C]

That's what.

[A]

How are you interrogating me? Okay. I'm just kidding.

[C]

You're upset because your shirt's in your butthole. Don't get mad at me. Decided to shove a shirt off your hoo.

[A]

Ha. It's the word Q4 word. Chippy. Okay. Yeah.

[C]

Chip on your shoulder.

[A]

I think it just a little snippy. Actually. I think it's more intense than I thought. I think it's like aggressive. Feel a little aggressively belligerent. I thought it was just being like a little. A little Snarky. Okay.

[C]

Can I tell you a word that my brother said? A couple of phrase a couple of times. And I was like, I don't know that I hear a lot of people say this, and I'm going to start incorporating it. He was referring to my nephew, but he was like, right before he started crying, like a big cry, he was like, he's about to kick off. And then he was talking about somebody in our family like that, like, likes to fight with people. And he was like, she thinks she's so tough because she loves to kick off with everyone. And I was like, I like that phrase.

[A]

You do like it?

[C]

I like it. Kick off.

[A]

I've never heard that.

[C]

Pop off, go off.

[A]

Down.

Bust down. Tatiana.

[C]

Kickoff is fun.

[A]

Kick off.

[C]

Like I kick off.

[A]

I kind of, like, pop off, still go off.

[C]

I mean, kick off.

[A]

Go for it. Use it. Thank you.

[C]

I'm gonna kick off.

[A]

Yeah. It is funny. Like regional slang and lexicon. Can I tell you one? We said. And my brother and I will. Will, like, bring it back, but we will not say it to other people because this feels very like Smyrna, Delaware.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I feel like this is not gonna hit for any of the listeners, but when we would. In high school, middle school in. If you were laughing really hard, you would say, bagging up.

[C]

What does that mean?

[A]

We were bagging up.

[C]

It feels nice to say it. It means nothing. Doesn't make sense.

[A]

You have me bagging up.

[C]

What the. Like, I don't know if it means I like it. It doesn't make any sense. It's like, okay. You know in New York City, when people say, it's cold, people say, it's brick.

[A]

Brick. Yeah.

[C]

And I had. I. That phrase, like, blew me to smithereens. I was just like, what does this mean?

[A]

I know.

[C]

What does it have to do with being brick? But I like it.

[A]

I've never understood it. Bag up isn't even on. Yes. It means to laugh. Okay, so. To laugh heartily. I was bagging up. Laughing so hard. Okay, let me know if you. Maybe this is like a Delco thing. I feel like most of the stuff that came down to Smyrna, Delaware was Philly Delco.

[C]

You know what I wanted to ask you?

[A]

Okay.

[C]

What's the co. What's Delco?

[A]

Delaware County.

[C]

Oh, it means county.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For years, I've wanted that. It's like that time I wanted to know what you do with a washcloth and then shower.

[A]

All right, well, I'm bringing. I'm bringing back Bagging up.

[C]

Kick it off.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Let's thank our partners and thank our partners.

[C]

All right. Thanks to Ora Frame. Get $35 off the bestselling Carver Mat Frame at Ora Frames.com with code GGE and Squarespace. Get a free trial at Squarespace.com GGE and use code GGE for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[A]

And thank you to Bol and Branch. Get 25% off site wide and free shipping at bolan branch.com GGE with code GGE and thank you to Quince. Get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quints.com GGE this is it.

[C]

We're a few days away from the holiday show.

[A]

It's really happening.

[C]

December 13th. Saturday night. Bam. Theater. It's going to be so much fun, you guys. We cannot wait to see you all there. And we've told you, really, just, like, bring your friends, bring your mom, bring your grandma. If the whole family's in town, please bring your grandma.

[B]

Bring her fam.

[C]

Like, bring your kids, whatever. You want to come solo. You'll make friends. But we are really excited for this. These are. It's our biggest show of the year. Wildest. Tons of entertainment. It's gonna be so fun. It's gonna be wild night Saturday night. Come get lit, get loose.

[A]

There's gonna be a lot of things incorporated from, like, the year.

[C]

Like your husband, he'll be there, but.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, maybe we might do something we did at my bachelorette, or maybe something we did at your bachelorette, which was my Bachelorette in Vegas. You know, like, little things like that. We've incorporated the ds, dancers and music and all the things so.

[C]

So you guys can get tickets at Girls Gotta Eat dot com. We cannot wait to see you guys there.

[A]

See you guys there. Okay. Where do you want to start?

[C]

So much has happened.

[A]

So much is happening.

[C]

I just, like, didn't see you for, like, ten days. Oh, my God. This is, like, the longest trip. I went to London. I saw my nephew, and then I went to Soho Farmhouse upstate with our friend Megan.

[A]

Upstate.

[C]

She's in the country. And then back to London and then back to Pittsburgh to see my family. I've been staying with people every day for, like, 11 days. This is how I think. I know I'm not meant to be married. I don't really want to be with people this much. I don't really want. I saw this Marc Maron clip, and he was like, I Don't wanna stay at people's houses. And I was like, I think that's me.

[A]

Yeah. I mean it does feel start to feel weird when you're like, I am in my 40s. For me I'm like, I am a married woman. I'm 42 years old. Why am I in my parents bonus room on like the pull out couch? I have a husband, I run two companies, I'm a grownup. What am I doing? Like there's nothing that humbles you, makes you feel so like I shouldn't be allowed to be a grownup in this world than like staying at your parents house, like staying at other people's parents house.

[C]

I don't want to have to like fumble around, ask how the coffee maker works and inevitably I break it. And like I don't want somebody waiting up for me. I don't want it. And like that sounds crazy. I try to not stay with my dad. I actively try to stay down the road, there's a couple hotels and he gets like really upset.

[A]

I mean, I still do like it. I still like, I like being taken care of. I like watching TV with my mom. I obviously love to wake up there on Christmas morning, but I just don't feel like a grown up. And I'm like, who let me get married? How am I someone's boss?

[C]

I don't get it. Because you do. You, you revert to a 10 year old inevitably. I just, I think I don't want it. I think I want to show up ready to do stuff, ready to kick off. I want to show up looking nice. I, I don't want to wake up in the morning and talk to somebody about how I slept. I don't want to, I don't want to do it. I don't. My PJs. I know, listen, it's just, it's not for me. I don't want to do it.

[A]

I think about this a lot. Like, I just don't know how people marry annoying people because you were with them all the time. Like sometimes I'll say to Shashank, I'm like, we really are just together all the time. Thank God we don't want to know each other because you really just have to be with them all the time.

[C]

Do you know couples that like really? I don't, I'm trying to think, do I know couples that really annoy each other?

[A]

I think you see it all the.

[C]

Time that don't like each other.

[A]

Yeah, they're just annoyed with each other. They'd rather Be alone.

[C]

I think that's, that's you.

I just, I really like being single and just floating through life and doing what I want.

[A]

I don't know. I feel like we, our tolerance levels have shifted over the years. I do feel like I'm a little more tolerant. Like I like to stay at Matt and Steph's house. Those boys are up at 7:30. Stampede. So loud. Slamming doors, hollering. And I'm like the kids are going to be kids.

[C]

Why is my dad using the microwave? It's 6:30 in the morning. I don't understand it. Like my room is right off of the kitchen. It's 6:30 in the morning. He has to microwave something right now.

[A]

What is he Microw microwaving at 6am?

[C]

I don't know. He is cute though. He uses his girls gotta eat mug for coffee.

[A]

I love that.

[C]

It's really cute in the microwave.

[A]

Yeah, we need to get him like a heated mug.

[C]

I he also goes through like a case of water bottles a day and I was like you gotta stop this. This is really bad for the environment. He was like I'm 78, get off me.

[A]

I saw someone say I'm not staying anywhere that's not nicer than my house.

[C]

Where am I gonna stay? I can't stay anywhere a nice hotel.

[A]

That's her point was kind of like I am only staying in a hotel that's nicer than my house. I'm not staying in an Airbnb which granted we've stayed in luxurious Airbnb. I think her point was just like I'm not staying somewhere if it's not nicer than my house. But I think her point was I'm not paying to stay somewhere that's not nicer than my house. Which I co sign that fully. Like that is crazy. Why am I what I. Why would I pay to stay somewhere that's a downgrade?

[C]

I don't know what I'm paying for this. What's the only option?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying if you have a choice.

[C]

Also you see how I abuse a room and I need to be able to do that freely in a hotel. I no one is more type A anal retentive about their home being clean and the most type B crazy person.

[A]

I mean when you get to a hotel.

[C]

Yeah, I don't even let you come into my hotel rooms.

[A]

I am also like really tidy home. I like my house is cleaned every two weeks. I everything is tidy. Like again if I come downstairs and the blankets are not folded something Went down the night before. But I keep it tight in a hotel room too.

[C]

I will only go to your hotel room. I don't want you.

[A]

My hotel room is. You know what it is when I look around and if it's been an explosion, I think about having to pack that shit up. I like to keep it right, keep it tight. I will unpack, I will hang stuff.

[C]

I know, I know. And I. So Megan and I stayed in this hotel room together for two nights. And like she's an unpacker and she's like neat. And listen, I love her, she's my very close friend, but she's not like a long time friend like you. Like, I can act a little crazier around you with her. I gotta like keep it in the box. I am a weirdo.

[A]

When I walk into a hotel room, I start rearranging furniture. I need to. I just start making space. Like, I'm like, I need to move this around. I need to really have it feel right and like maximize.

[C]

Sometimes I do move furniture.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, if there's like a chair in a weird place and I'm like, why are we here? I did get a little too comfy with her though. One of the hotel.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

What?

[C]

So this room we were staying in, the bathroom was sort of in the middle of the room. Like the sinks were like in the middle. It was just a giant space and the sinks were in the middle of the room. There wasn't really anywhere to go for privacy and I had to take a nude. So I just did it in the middle of the room with her just like working on her computer. And I was like, this is just girlhood. This is like, how cute is this? Yeah, just like taking nudes. And then I got in the bed to like, she was doing some more work. And then I had to take a nude from the back. Like I sent a front facing nude. And then I need to take a butt nude.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I was just laying in the bed next door. Just like camera over my butt, no secrets. It was really nice.

[A]

You know, I'm taking nudes. You could be in the room. Well, let me tell you what happened in the hotel room with us in Boston. So we're going to do an episode next week about like family and splitting up the holidays. And we have a lot. We did polls. We're so excited. So I'll talk a little bit more about how we did it and what we plan on doing for Christmas and stuff like that next week. But when we spent the Weekend in Boston. I went there the day after Thanksgiving. We did like a day, late Thanksgiving with his family and stuff like that. And we just stayed in. In a hotel in Seaport. That's the experience we wanted to have. And, you know, like, we. We're welcome to stay with his parents, but they live a little farther out in the suburbs. We just wanted to, like, you know, do that.

[C]

You don't want to stay with people.

[A]

Say, well, I mean, it just, it. It depends. I mean. So we went out. We actually went out and like, we, like, were partying pretty hard. Like, he had some friends that were out for like a little high school reunion type thing. So we went out when we got back to the hotel and he was.

[B]

Like, I'm going to.

[A]

He was like, I'm going to go into the. To the hallway. And I was like, what?

[C]

Took a fart walk?

[A]

He was like, I'm going to go in the hallway to fart. And he just did the, like, deadbolt to like, keep. Crack the door. You heard it, heard it. Dead ass.

[C]

Heard it down the hall.

[A]

Reina.

[C]

He said he was all the way.

[A]

At the elevator bank. And I yell out, ew.

1 o' clock in the morning, he's farting in the hallway. I hear it. I screamed, ew.

And then I hear him laughing. And I can tell he's so far away. I'm like, how loud was that fart? He was like, I was all the way at the elevators.

[C]

I was like, you went all the.

[A]

Way down the hall? How did I hear that? We're about to get a noise complain.

[C]

People are like, it's a fire alarm.

Someone came out of that room.

[A]

We have never.

[C]

Yeah, we have never laughed so hard. Have you ever heard him fart like that?

[A]

I've never heard him fart ever.

So that was my entree through the cracked hotel door.

[C]

We had different hotel experiences this week. That is a cr. I feel like you guys got married and things changed.

Like a week out, he's just farting that long and loud.

[A]

Well, but he went to go take.

[C]

His normal fart walk.

[A]

Yeah, like, if the, if the door would have been shut, like, shut the door, I'll open it back up.

[C]

My dad farted next to me on a walk, just so loud. I was like, can you take care of yourself? Like, what is wrong with you?

[B]

He can't.

[A]

I've heard your dad fart way too many times.

[C]

I've heard he doesn't care.

[A]

I've probably heard your dad fart five times, and that is five Times too many.

[C]

Like, what is wrong with him?

[A]

He's an old man.

[C]

He just doesn't care.

[B]

Ew.

[C]

I hate a dad fart.

[A]

Ew. Ew, Ew.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

Because I've heard my dad fart. I want to kill myself.

Your dad, Mom. I just look at her different, okay?

[C]

She tries to blame it on the dogs, you know?

[B]

She does.

[A]

So that happened. He also brought the egg carton, if you guys were wondering. We were getting ready to go out the next night, have a little date night. It was like, sitting by the door. The door of shame. So that was our trip.

[C]

That's beautiful. Beautiful story.

[A]

I could not wait to tell you. And I had a really nice time with my nephews. They had a joint birthday party, I think I mentioned, and it was just state of bounce house. They were so cute. And I feel like I really bonded with Aaron on this trip. I mean, he and I are, like, similar. We're the same person. He is never. Not without a slice of pizza in his hand. Love him, and he's just such a vibe. He really loves me. He's, like, always wants to be on me. We have the same initials. We just really are buddied up. And he has such a personality. Now he's talking. He says, ashley.

[C]

Like, I just feel like Jay is going to be, like, a Fortune 500 CEO and, like, Aaron is going to be a comedian. Like, I just. You can already tell.

[A]

I know. I really. Yeah. Like, Jay is, like. I just can picture them in high school. Like, Jay is, like, valedictorian, and maybe he can be a little uptight, a little rigid.

[C]

Yes, a little rigid.

[A]

But he's still, like, big man on campus. Everybody loves him. He's still super lovable. But then Aaron is just, like, lighten up, man. And Aaron's like, a C student, and he's, like, the football captain, but he's barely making the team.

[C]

Friends with everybody. Everyone's friends with Aaron, like, crushing beer.

[A]

Cans on his head.

[C]

Chris Farley.

[A]

Yeah, that's his exact energy. He doesn't know what his body is doing ever.

[C]

He doesn't leave food on his face. He doesn't care.

[A]

So that was really such a highlight. And of course, Jay, too, not being with both of them. But I just feel like Aaron's really coming into his own, and we are, like, very simpatico. So that was good. We had a great Thanksgiving, and I'm glad I got to be with Shashank's family. And that was really nice to spend time with him. We put up there his Parents tree. And it was nice.

[C]

It is nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I had this funny experience I wanted to tell you about on the plane. So, like, on the way, this guy sat next to me, and he, like, every, like, bad plane behavior that I hate. He was just, like, really fidgety. Up and down, up and down. He just, like, needed a lot of stuff. He rolled his pants legs up to his knees, took his shoes off. I don't know why people are taking their shoes off on planes. It really grosses me.

[A]

How long was the flight?

[C]

It was long. It was seven hours.

[B]

Socks on.

[C]

Socks on.

[A]

I'll allow it.

[C]

I just. It makes me uncomfortable. He was like, man spreading. He took up all the space. Both of the armrests. Yeah, he just, like, wouldn't stop moving and fidgeting and, like, moving the seat. He turned the overhead light on, and he was reading this book. And every time he moved the book, it, like, shined the light back in my face, just blowing out my retinas. But none of this compares to what he was watching. So I saw maybe. Maybe the craziest thing I've ever seen somebody watch on a flight. Like, I've never seen anybody watch porn, but, like, you know, I've watched a Nora on a plane.

[A]

Like, we've watched Billy Eichner.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Bros. Bros. Yeah, the gay orgy.

[C]

I looked over at his iPad. It was fully set up. He's watching. He was watching Hunting Wives. Oh, Malin Ackroy. He was watching these women finger each other. Malin tits out. He is just bricked up next to me on this flight, this man watching Hunting Wives.

[A]

I mean, you guys know Raina thinks Hunting Wives is the most explicit thing.

[C]

That'S ever existed on Netflix. It's a crazy thing on Netflix. It was supposed to be on stars last minute, ended up on Netflix. It is a highly explicit show.

[A]

Yeah. It's wild.

[C]

And there is just.

[A]

Yeah, there's an Eating pussy there. Shouldn't be eating pussy on a plane.

[B]

No.

[A]

You know, like, even the orgy and bros, it's not, like, full close up. Prv.

[C]

She's on her knees blowing that kid in high school. I was like, how much longer? Like, hasn't he finished yet? No, literally, it was a no. That's what I mean. Like, are you done? Are you just hard next to me? You're already taking up all this space.

[A]

I don't like it.

[C]

It's a weird thing to watch on a plane.

[A]

No. The fidgeting the shoes off. And now you're watching softcore porn on this Plane, like, straight to jail.

[C]

And he never went to the bathroom. He never got up and just finished himself off. I went to the bathroom like, three times. He never went to the bathroom.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I mean, Shashank watched that show. He didn't have to jerk off after. I think a lot of men can just. I don't think they're in middle school.

[C]

I jerked off to that show.

[A]

I know, but I think people can, like, watch sex scenes.

[C]

Not me.

[A]

We're not going through puberty. Not you. Okay. You're just projecting.

[C]

Masturbated, like, once an episode.

[A]

I get. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You revisited your lesbian porn days.

Okay, what else? You said you have all these things to tell me.

[C]

So I had this crazy thing happen. So I flew back through Pittsburgh to go to Pittsburgh for a couple nights to see my dad. And listen, I thought I was gonna have this great weekend. I thought I was gonna go to the Steelers game. And then someone died, and it was a family friend, and that's very sad. We had to go to the funeral. So I. Saturday night, went out First I went to my cousin Casey's. We drank a lot. Then I went over to Uncle John and Aunt Sherry's. That's their daughter, and we drank also a lot. I was very hungover. The next day it was like. And then we'd be this funeral at 10am So I was hungover.

[A]

Funeral is tough.

[C]

Sunday morning. I thought I was going to, like, get drunk, go to Steelers game. No. I try to, like, look nice, look decent, talk to people. I didn't know anybody there. I had to, like, be, like, cognizant, whatever. Yeah. So I'm, like, very hungover. I'm out of it. I go to the funeral with my dad and my Aunt Sherry, and we're staying in, like, the pews or whatever. And this.

This woman scoots into, like, the pew right behind us.

[A]

Is this another fart story?

[C]

It's worse. So it's so bad. So I started talking to her, and I realized that she looks familiar to me. I sort of think I know who she is. She's an older woman. She's maybe, like, 75. And I go to introduce. I introduce myself. I say my name, and she goes, oh, I know you. She says this in front of my dad. My Aunt Sherry had a dead body. She's like, I know you. You hooked up with my son.

[A]

No.

Ma'. Am.

[C]

Ashley. It took the breath out of my lungs. No one has rendered me speechless.

[A]

This is church hours, and there's a corpse here.

[C]

There's a dead body. And I all, like. So I realize who she is in the moment. And you know who she is, too. Her son.

[A]

Big dick guy.

[C]

I gave him a hand job when I was at summer camp, and I was, like, 12 years old.

He's been on this podcast.

[A]

Does he have a boxing gym?

Is there a boxing gym franchise he might own?

[C]

And I look at her and all these. I'm going like, he told her this. Like, I was, like, 12, and all I could muster in front of my dad and Sherry was. Yeah, it was like, kind of when we were, like, pretty young, and we're just all, like, white knuckling it. Like, I don't know what to say.

[B]

How does she know?

[A]

That's so weird. Like, you hooked up with my son.

[C]

You hooked up with my son. She said with her old chest, you.

[A]

Hooked up with my son means I walked in on you blowing him in our finished basement in high school years. You jerked him off when you were 12. Why does she know that?

Did she listen to the podcast?

[C]

I. It took, like.

[A]

I think it did come up.

[C]

No, it definitely did. At some point. It rendered me speechless. Nothing has ever rendered me speechless.

[A]

What if you were supposed to give the eulogy after that?

[C]

You wouldn't. I couldn't. She got up to go to the bathroom, and I look at my dad, my Aunt Sherry, and I'm like, that was crazy. And all three of us burst out laughing at this funeral. It was. It was insane. I would tell him, but I don't think he'll think it's funny.

[A]

You. I'll tell him. Let me get in there. I'd love to break this to him.

[C]

And it wasn't like, a cutesy to be like, oh, I remember you. It was, like, so deadpan. You hooked up, right?

[A]

Like, you gave my son his first hand job. Like, you were my son's sexual awakening. It was all downhill after you, ma'. Am. I think he'd had a hand job before. One or two and a couple sins.

[C]

Like, I don't think I'm like, the hand job to end all hand jobs.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

That really was crazy.

[A]

He's just been blaming you for his. What? Because remember, he's. He had that whole story. Like, I used to be living in my parents. Like, whatever. Like, if. What if his origin story. Yes, you're the villain. Like, he was like, it was all downhill when Raina Greenberg jerked me off at summer camp. I just never really got my life back on track.

[C]

It's Hard to come back after me.

[B]

Oh my God.

[C]

I really, honestly, like most, I've left a wake of destruction in my path. Like most people don't date someone great after me. I really, I can't cite it. Yeah, I can't cite anybody that's done better than me after me.

[A]

I think he did okay.

[C]

I think he did all right financially. Yes.

[A]

He's dated strictly models his entire adult life. Right. It's like people just don't bounce back. Once they hook up with me in middle school, they never really recover. He's with like Gigi Hadid.

[C]

It's Tyler Cameron. People really listen. No one, they don't level up after me. I'm sticking with it.

[A]

Okay, well, let's talk about our partners and we will get into it with Anna. Yes.

[C]

So speaking of family, I'm so excited.

[A]

To talk about this because I, I saw them all week long. My parents have one, Matt and Steph have one.

[C]

We're talking about aura frames.

[A]

We're talking about aura frames.

[C]

So we gifted them again. I didn't do it. My sister in law, my brother did. So it's a digital frame and you can upload unlimited photos and videos. You can preload photos before you ship it to them and like really personalize this gift. But my brother and sister in law gifted this to my dad and like most of their family and we all share this app and we can all upload photos and videos and videos.

[A]

I love when I look over and it's like a video of the boys or like something funny and it's like.

[C]

It'S such a fun surprise, like when I'll see new photos into it and it's just, it's the best gift. I mean really, especially if like you don't live in the same city as your family. You can really like share the videos and photos effortlessly. And you can comment on the photos, which I think is really cool. Me, I, my dad's just always like.

[A]

Look at my little man.

[C]

It's like very cute. So it's just the most thoughtful, perfect gift. And the actual physical frame itself, they have a couple different colors. They're really beautiful. They look really nice. Like sitting out in your living room. You can choose from like different ones that you like. So if you are thinking of a gift to give anybody in your life, truly, this is the best. And it's really like a project you can all do together. And like I said, you can preload all these photos. Like when you gift it to somebody, they just really open up the frame Plug it in and it'll just start working.

[A]

I really think if you have a situation like a wedding for example, like I'm you know doing a lot of photo related gifts for everybody and it's like a people don't have wall space for a million frame photos. Not everyone's a photo book. Like this is the the thing to do. Like if you had a family event this year, I think this is like the most perfect gift. Family vacation, a like baby being born. It's just. It's truly like the best gift. So it is.

[C]

So for a limited time save on the perfect gift by visiting ORA frames.com and get $35 off Aura's bestselling Carver Mat frames named number one by wire cutter by using the promo code GGE at checkout. That's AA frames.com promo code GGE. This deal is excellent. Exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now. To get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[A]

Okay. And Quint truly incredible clothing and accessories and all the things they sell. So much for you or someone on your list. My favorite travel outfit. I I flew both ways. Five six hour flights in my like set that I'm obsessed with. I wore the cashmere sweater on Thanksgiving day. I have a pair of their leggings that I wore with it. I really it they have it all. They again the cashmere cashmere Items start at 24.90 so you can shop that. I think this is a great way to level up your man's wardrobe too.

[C]

It's great gift for somebody.

[A]

Yeah but the gifts are great. They have gift guides and stuff on their site but like your mom. But again like I just I always think of like this is such a great way to start if you or someone you really just want to have them have more elevated pieces at such great prices. They have silk cashmere like we mentioned and great stuff for everyday work. Play all the things. Wool coats are incredible. They work directly with ethical top tier factories. So they skip the middleman and offer prices 50% less than similar brands. The prices are truly second to none. So we just love it. I mean we just again love the cashmere and I love the stuff for travel. I give their bralettes. I just really have it all at this point. Such great gifts so you can step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last from Quince perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to Quince.com GGE for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q U-I-N C E.com GGE to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com GGE okay, let's get into it.

[C]

Okay, guys, we have a very talented guest here with us and a friend of ours. She is a comedian, a host, a writer, an actress, a content creator. She was the host of HQ Trivia. She hosts a woman show at Joe's Pub. She is a master impersonator. Unbelievable. We are so lucky to have her here with us today. Please welcome to the show Anna Roisman.

[B]

Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I'm going to just replay that intro four times for my mom later. Be like, look, Mom, I did something.

[C]

Okay? So I told you, we started recording. I've written every guest intro for eight years, Ashley, and I have never seen somebody with a bio. As long as you're you. You're so impressive. Thanks so much.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

So you're laughing.

[B]

I'd be richer right now. Huh?

[A]

What's your net worth?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do it in Kris Jenner voice.

[B]

$1,000 billion. But you have.

[A]

You. Do you have a little bit of her laugh? Are you morphing into her?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know how to. I don't have a laugh anymore. I've done Chris so much, and her laugh is so specific that when I laugh, like, my friends will be like, oh, my God, that's the Chris laugh.

[A]

And I was like, you just did it.

[B]

We don't have to do it.

[A]

I just heard it. That's why I brought it up. And I just had a feeling. You're just turning.

[B]

Turning into Chris Jenner.

[A]

No, but the laugh, the Chris laugh. I've never seen anyone do Kris Jenner ever. Maybe. Or, like, especially not like, I think.

[B]

Like, they did it on SNL at some point. You know?

[A]

Way better. Yeah.

[B]

Thanks.

[C]

You're so good. You do so many impressions, and we're gonna have to do some today. But the first video I think I ever got served of yours was was when Hilaria Baldwin was outed for just what? She's from Boston.

[B]

Yeah. And she's outed for being from Spain.

[C]

Yes, yes. But that was like a huge video of yours, unfortunately.

[B]

It was a mistake. Yeah, it was. I did it. I did a video as her in my pajamas, no makeup, on my couch. It's 11 seconds. And I was like, I, too, went to La Universada de Boston. Like, and that's all I said. I think next thing I know, the LA Times was like, Tiktoker, Anna Royce, Men. And I was like, oh, my God, my life has changed.

[C]

So that was the first big thing.

[B]

That popped off for, like, TikTok.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, kind of. Yeah. That and my Steve, that. Those were, like, the two things that helped me in the.

[A]

I think we met you in person maybe last year. Taylor Strecker's podcast, I think. But we followed each other.

[B]

I think we had done some stand up shows together too.

[A]

Yes. After that. Yes. Like at the stand and.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think Steve was probably like, what got me. But. So who are your top five?

[C]

Let's just.

[A]

Are you. So you hate this?

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Okay. This is your legacy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So we have Chris, Steve, Hilaria. Are those your top three that I do?

[B]

Yeah, I guess those are the top three. I love doing Bethenny Frankel online. And I do, like, all her, like, eating, screaming, sick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sick. Insane. And I love doing. I do Joan Rivers for years for every award show. She's like my favorite to do because I write the jokes for her, you know, like, I have to.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You were just saying you do. You were doing something with Melissa Rivers.

[B]

Yeah, I just did her podcast. Yeah. She found me because she liked my impression of her mom. And I was like, to have her blessing.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That could go the other way. You know, she's like, I've seen a bunch of them. They're all kind of like, bad, like, drag performances of her. Like, you really got her essence. And I was like, well, I am a Jewish woman who carries a Gucci bag.

[A]

I can imagine that. What? That is the biggest compliment. It was scary.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Joan river is such a legend. Her daughter's like, I like your impression of my dead mom.

[B]

And we had a three hour dinner in la. And like, she was the fudgeing. She's the coolest.

[C]

Okay, then that brings me to my next question. Have. Have any other of these celebrities reached. What's Hilaria Baldwin think of this? The stuff you do of her is so insulting, but it's like, that's what she's like.

[A]

But you guys collab.

[B]

We collabed. We can't get into it. We collabed.

[A]

It was.

[B]

It was a moment. It was a 20 minute experience.

[A]

Oh, it was a good show.

[B]

I brought a bodyguard because I was like, I could get poisoned. Like, this is how I got shot. Because I didn't think she liked it. No, no. I never, ever Went there with it. Because I was like, that's sad. That's unfortunate.

[C]

No, you're watching this video stretching by the pool and, like, your buttholes just in the air. It's. I can't get over it. It's so funny. You guys have to go to her Instagram.

[B]

Oh, my God. Thank you. No, I didn't think she liked it, but then she was like, I can't be funny. And I was like, great, let's do a video together. Like, let's break the Internet. And then we did this video. We didn't speak in it.

What? We look alike. So we, like, did a little twin moment.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. And then all of the people who hate her came to my Instagram and were like, you've crossed over to the dark side.

[C]

I'm like, what?

[B]

I just met her for five minutes.

[A]

Oh, like.

[B]

Like, now I'm in with her.

[C]

Now we're best friends.

[A]

She's not Donald Trump. Like, if she's just a celebrity, you can like or not. Like, she. She shouldn't be so polarized.

[B]

And she was like, very nice. We had a very fine time. Like, there's no. Like, do people still have an issue that she. Like, she does have an accent.

[C]

It's the call. I think people have a problem with the cultural appropriation. Right. That's the main issue with her.

[A]

Wait, I always forget.

[C]

She's forgotten. I see the word onion in English. She's great.

[A]

She is Spanish or she's not. No, no.

[B]

Family went to Mallorca a lot one time.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

She's from, like, Tampa, and she went to college in Boston.

[B]

She's from Boston. She went to nyu.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Right, okay. The appropriation. But I get it.

[C]

All of her kids are named, like, Hispanic names. And she's like, my little bantitos. And, like, she pretends to be Hispanic.

[B]

That was my bit. I used to always do the names. So I'd be like, Carmen, Rafa, Tapatio. Like, I just start listing, like.

[A]

But if she is an advocate for the Latin community, she could turn this around for her.

[C]

Is she an advocate or something? Just like a cultural program appropriation.

[A]

I'm saying she could be. This is the people's issue. The Gwen Stefani. They were like, you need to be an advocate for Asian culture if you.

[C]

Were going to appropriate.

[A]

All these years, people said that.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And when it was like, Asians were, like, being targeted, it was like, where's Gwen? Because you profited off this culture.

[C]

Where was she? Yeah, she was with Blake Shelton.

[B]

She's on The Voice at church.

[A]

She's on voice.

Okay. So how. When did you start doing impressions? I'm fascinated by people who do impressions. Like, are you in your room alone? Like, do you film them? Are you in the mirror? I just am. Really.

[B]

I started a long time ago. I did, like, UCB stuff when I first moved to New York.

[A]

But, like, as a kid.

[B]

As a kid, always, I would impersonate people. I would prank call my grandma all the time and pretend to be like her friends from high school until she believed me. Like, she was from, like, Queens and I was.

[C]

She'd call your mom. Like, can you get Anna off the phone?

[A]

Wait, did she even know you?

[B]

Probably not, right?

[C]

I, like, went off.

[A]

You committed.

[B]

I had so much fun. I'm so good at prank calls. Like, still to this day. But that was back in the day. But, yeah, I would always, like, you know, I'd be like the Spice Girls or I'd do like, a full Britney concert. Like, I always wanted to be like, I could do these people's voices. I was like, wow, Mom, I sound like Celine Dion. She's probably like, you don't. But okay, keep trying. Yeah, so I love doing it. But then when I got to New York, I, like. I don't know, I took UCB classes. I was like, wait, I can. Like. People used to say I looked like Sarah Silverman. Because, you know, if you're a Jewish brunette who does comedy, immediately. Yeah, I know it. I know you are. And I love her. So I started doing her. She was, like, one of my first. Because I was like, wait, if you do people you look like, then it, like, totally more.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good gateway.

[B]

Yeah. And then I gave up on it for a while. Not gave up, but I just, like. I don't know. I didn't, like, stick with it. I started doing standup, and I was, like, into that for a long time and, like, hosting. And then in the Pandemic, when we were in lockdown, I was like, Steve, this TikTok thing, I could maybe, like, put on a wig, you know, and, like, just let loose. We were all losing our fucking minds.

[A]

I think Steve is one of my faves because it's a gender swap and you nail it still.

[B]

Thank you. It's so random. I would do that around the apartment in the. In lockdown, and my boyfriend would laugh and he's seen all my tricks, and I was like, this must be so funny if Jared's laughing like he's over it. You know, he's seen anything I can do. And I'd walk in the room of the bathroom and be like, Mariana.

[A]

But, like, do. I'm trying to think of, like, the male impressionists who are hot right now. Do they ever do women? You can't come across insulting. But I'm saying, like, for a woman to do a man and really nail it is impressive. And I don't, like, Myers was, like.

[B]

Good at women, but, like, yeah, who would he do? Like, Linda Richmond. And he did like, all those, like, female characters. Okay. I guess they're not as much as impressions.

[C]

But you have like, my dream. Dream would be, is it SNL or is it just like, you. You do so much stuff. It's just like, I'm gonna keep doing. I'm. I'm gonna keep doing all this stuff. I don't have to pick a thing.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, my dream was to be Jimmy Kimmel. Like, this sounds bad. You know, like, where I could do sketches and I could do, like Fallon. Like a late night show where I can host, I can interview people.

Finally, that was my in. Yeah.

[C]

A couple days later, you're like, God damn it.

[B]

You know, when he goes away for the summer and they have all the guest hosts, like, whenever it's a woman, they're like, finally a woman. And it's like the joke every woman makes because they're like, I've got two days on this show.

[A]

Right. Here we go.

[B]

Yeah, that would be like my dream, I think, to have my own show.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I love snl, but, like, I kind of. I don't know. That was a dream, like 15 years ago.

[C]

It's an antiquated dream, you know that.

[B]

I'm like, if that popped up, I have auditioned in the last few years and I was kind of like, really? You're going to pick me? But. Okay. You always audition.

[C]

So you mentioned your boyfriend. You guys were there for 10 years.

[B]

Nine.

[C]

Nine.

[A]

Yeah. And his name is Jared.

[C]

Is Jared.

[A]

Okay, Jared. Sorry.

[B]

We love Jared. You can say it.

[C]

Where are you guys both from?

[B]

I'm from Philly.

[C]

Oh, okay. You are?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, go Birds. Philly.

[B]

Go Birds. I'm from Laura Marion, so I'm right outside of Philly.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Where are you from?

[A]

I'm from Delaware. Okay, so suburban Philly.

[B]

Yeah, suburban. And Jared's from Allentown, so.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Love this.

[B]

Yeah, we're Pennsylvania.

[A]

Okay. Identify as Pen.

[C]

How'd you guys meet?

[B]

We met at ucb. At a Show World, too, a little bit. He's a producer. He does documentaries. But back in the day, he was Doing more. Like, he did, like, sketch comedy. And we met at UCB at the bar, like, the UCB East Village. Do you remember that?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, the best theater. And we did this show where I was, like, the stand up who had to judge some, like, improv competition. And he was an improviser.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm like, I wish I could just be, like, hinged.

[A]

And it was immediate chemistry.

[C]

No, that's so much better story.

[B]

It was media chemistry. No, I had a friend who was like. She's like, anna, meet Jared. Jared, me, Anna. You guys should, like, hang out. Like, maybe I'll put us all in a group text. We should all, like, go to a bar. I was like, what is she doing? Like, I have a rotation right now. I was in my sluttiest phase ever. I was, like, enjoying life. I was like, sorry, guys, I have to leave this comedy theater because I'm hooking up with a drummer and he has a show tonight, like, in the East Village. I was like, bye.

[A]

Sorry, nerds. I'm dating a musician.

[B]

Yeah, you fucking losers. You improvise.

[A]

Yeah, have fun with the little comedy sketches.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

I'm off to fuck this drummer.

[B]

I remind him every day. I'm like, remember the night Met and I left to go hook up with the drummer?

[C]

Did it take him a while to, like, wear you down? Like, you stop all these drummers?

[B]

I.

[C]

It took, like, two weeks.

[A]

Oh, you were into it.

[B]

Okay, I was into it. Well, yeah. My friend brought him to a birthday party, a birthday dinner, and I was like, katie, no one's. I was like, no one's bringing friends. There's 12 people going to this dinner. No one's bringing friends. She's like, oh, I asked if I could bring a plus one. I go, what, for me? And she saw it.

[A]

For you.

[B]

She saw it and we got super drunk. And I was like. You know when you're, like, on amoxicillin?

You're like, no, but tell me about it. Maybe I will be. I had, like, strep throat.

[A]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

And I'm at the end, I'm like.

[A]

Especially with the uti.

[B]

Yeah, I was like, better, but, like, still on the meds. So we go out and I had, like, jello shots. I don't know what we did that night. And we were, like, making out in a cab. And I was like, I guess that.

[C]

Was fun because you're my boyfriend now.

[A]

I haven't had a jello shot on amoxicillin since 05.

[C]

And what a good. Just bring me Right back. It's nice on your throat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I got kicked off a dance floor for mooning. I pulled my dress up and I was like, take a photo of me.

[C]

That was your first date.

[B]

That was literally our first date. It was a crazy. That's why. Yeah. When you come to our apartment and people ask for our WI FI password, it's Rip senor frogs. Because that's where it all happens in.

[A]

Your frogs in New York.

[B]

Yeah. My friend had a joke dinner in Times Square.

[C]

I. You found love at senior frog.

[B]

I did.

[A]

New goal unlocked.

I've always wanted to do those things in New York. I always want to go to Olive Garden for New Year's Eve and see the ball drop.

[C]

Isn't it like a thousand dollars for.

[A]

Dinner and Olive Garden?

[C]

Yeah. Now we can finally afford to go to Olive Garden.

[A]

They sell that experience. Yeah.

Like a Margaritaville. Senior frogs in Manhattan.

[B]

So funny to me.

[C]

Have you gone in, like, Cancun? I have.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe like spring break and college.

[C]

Spring break.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. Can I. We also talk about your camel toe shoes.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

I was like, you're. Wow. I really want the jugular.

[B]

Which camel toe.

[A]

They're just so fun. Is that like.

[B]

Are they supposed to be. Yeah, they're fake of the, like. What are they? The tabbies?

[A]

Yeah. Actually has, like, a long history with camel camel toe. Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever done the shoe?

[A]

No. I feel like it's really uncorned and just the big faux patois long. Concerning vagina. I got a DM once. It was like, the length of your vagina is concerning.

[C]

Well, I'm thinking about, like, the second episode. Episode of the podcast and that homeless guy yelled, whoa, camel toe at you.

[A]

Yeah. And I went on a tour called the camel toe Tour. Yeah. This was like early days in the podcast and I was walking home from a workout class at these bright blue pants on and just feeling myself. I just done Pilates or whatever, and this homeless man got right in my face and was like, whoa, camel toe. I was shocked. It really.

[B]

Here we are.

[A]

I couldn't believe it.

[C]

Square park, right?

[A]

I was in Union Square.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. I love that you were like, you know what? I'm gonna turn into a brand new.

[C]

And we're gonna go.

[A]

I did. And I would. I extended the bit out and said I went home and took him off and brought him back to him.

[C]

And then she launched a comedy stand up tour.

[B]

There you go about it.

[A]

Yeah. So we have a long history with the camel toe. But anyway, love.

[B]

Are these bringing Back trauma or.

[A]

No, I'm just.

[C]

No, success was. It was a huge success.

[A]

Okay, so we have like, dating stuff we want to talk to you about today. And I love it. But I do want to talk a little bit more about your career and like, putting yourself out there on the Internet and everybody has hesitation or doubt with putting themselves out there. Do you feel that? Or you just like, send it? Like, I don't care.

[B]

It's funny. I have like maybe 20 videos I've never put out. Like, I'm hard on myself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I also don't give a shit. Like, I'm like, if I think it's funny, I'm putting it out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Sometimes I'll have these ideas and it'll take me a while. And I know that's when you're like, no, stop. Like, just put it out.

[C]

You.

[B]

You wanted to do that and some fail and you kind of have to like, just throw shit against the wall, I think, right?

[A]

Like, yeah, totally. I mean, that's with anybody who is doing anything comedy related impression sketches. Just. I think it takes guts to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because yes, of course. You're like, I think this is funny, obviously. Right. But how do I know? And are people gonna say things?

[B]

And I think what's hard is, like, people are used to certain things. So I know, like, if I put out a Kris Jenner, those do really well. But if I want to put out like a clip from my standup show last week, it's not gonna do as well. Cause people don't. That won't be pushed around. Like. But I'm also like, you know what? Who cares? Like, just. That's what I have to force myself to do is like, no, if that's something you do and you want people to know you do, like, just put it out.

[C]

I wonder if, like, you probably didn't even think of this when you started doing the Steve impression. But like, you were on the what? The red carpets for the. In just like that premiere this year. Like, when you put that out to begin with, did you think such a thing would ever happen?

[B]

No, not even five minutes before I got there, I was like, wait, he could be here. I haven't mentally prepared for this moment.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

And you were just on the red carpet for BravoCon.

[B]

Yeah. That was so fun. I did Luann with Luann. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

And she's so fun.

[B]

The best. She was the fucking coolest.

[A]

But I like that also. Everybody says, like, you. You start to be in this one category and people want More of it. You have to stay in this box. And I just don't think you can do that forever. And Kate Steinberg is a perfect example. She's like, I'm have this millennial content. And I get so anxious about putting out anything other than that. But you, you just have to, you have to let people know you have a range. Yeah. Rain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like you're a person with.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But not just you have other interests.

[B]

Yeah, totally. I. It's funny.

[A]

I've been.

[B]

I love soup.

As a food.

[C]

I try to not talk about it that much because it was my whole personality.

[A]

It was, was it? She dressed up a soup for a Halloween show. Oh, my God. Of Campbell's.

[B]

Wait, I, I. So I did 15 episodes of me making soups in the pandemic.

[C]

I did too.

[B]

Are you serious?

[C]

I just would bang them out all the time. I would just do like 15 stories.

[B]

I would call it Queen. And I was like, every episode had like a genre of music and I'd wear some weird ass outfit and I loved it. And then, like, I just like, didn't do that. I did like a partnership with, like, Campbell's. I was like, wait, this is it. But I'm.

[A]

Oh, you like, reach the top level.

[B]

I, well, I would say the money wasn't top level, but it was like, you know, I was like, this is so fun and I haven't done it in a long time and I miss the soups. And so I've been like, slowly putting them out. They get no hits, but I'm like.

[A]

They'Re like, make the soup as Kris Jenner or else.

[B]

Yeah, no, people are like, you know, do that. And I'm like, maybe I'll like, incorporate a line or two. But like, no. Like, I also am Anna who fudgeing, loves soups. I make a good ass soup and you're gonna enjoy it. So the OG fans like it.

[A]

I'm dynamic.

[C]

People used to make messaged me like, where did the soups go?

[B]

Give me that recipe. Get back on the soup. We've got a whole network waiting for us.

[C]

We should collab on soup.

[B]

I would love to.

I have like three that I haven't edited yet that I'm like, gotta get that beef vegetable out.

[A]

Does your boyfriend do anything with you? Yes, A lot he does. I just haven't seen him. I'm not getting served him. Never.

[C]

Yeah, I'm only getting served you.

[B]

He doesn't post anything.

[C]

Is he still a comedian and improper.

[B]

No, not really.

[A]

He's adjacent.

[B]

He works in documentary he produces documentaries and. Yeah, I mean, he'll do stuff with me. Like, you know, he's played roles in my stuff or shoots my stuff. He's still my bitch. You know, he's my assistant slash producer slash director. We made a lot of content in the Pandemic together. We would do these, like, recreations of movies he's acted before. He has this, like, cult horror movie, which every. Every so often on my comments, they'll be like, is that Tony from Hell House?

No, this movie was 10 years ago.

[A]

No, but, like, it's one of those things. Yes.

[B]

And like, last year at the Alamo, he had a screening and did a Q and A. And all these fans are like, I've been.

[C]

I've been waiting for.

[B]

I'm like, wait, they still. This movie came out 10 years ago.

[A]

Was he a big part of Hell House? Okay. Was it indie drama?

[B]

Yeah, it was an indie.

[A]

Okay. Do you know a reference? Johnny Drama.

[C]

Johnny Drama, Entourage. Is that called Fallout?

[A]

That's a great reference.

[C]

Viking Quest.

[A]

Wow, Randy, you really pulled that out.

[B]

That was a good one.

[A]

I would not have gone to my head.

[C]

I don't know how I did that. Honestly, I don't even remember what happened this morning.

[A]

That's so fair. That's such a good comparison.

[C]

So we have questions for you.

[A]

Is it really gory?

[C]

Oh, that's not my. That was my question.

[B]

Yeah, it's kind of gory.

[A]

Is it?

[B]

Okay? It's like a found footage movie, like Blair Witch, where they, like, act like it's, like, them shooting it.

[A]

Okay, just gonna take a quick break. I'm telling you guys about Bolen Branch. These are the sheets that I have a couple exclusively. I have three pairs and two pairs. Sets. Pairs of sheets.

[C]

Set.

[A]

That's the word.

[C]

A pair's not crazy.

[A]

Pairs of. Like, I. I have my three sets. I have white, a cream color, and, like, a beige color.

[C]

Like a stone.

[A]

I'm. Yeah, you have some great colors. And then I have two duvet covers. So I just am always in Bol and branch. I'm obsessed with these sheets, and they are such a great gift for. Again, for anyone on your list. I think this is one of the best gifts you can give. I mean, I don't know. I think everyone could use an extra set of sheets, you know, and just have them in their rotation.

[C]

Bedding is the perfect gift.

[A]

Betting truly is a perfect gift. And this is just something that people might want to upgrade. You know, people want, like, new appliances, luggage, phone, accessories, things like that. But how you Sleep is the most important thing. So I think the bedding is where to start if you're upgrading anyone or yourself. So it is their best sale of the year happening now 25% off site wide. So start with their best selling signature sheets. It's the perfect balance of softness and breathability for your best sleep. The signature sheets get softer with every wash. They're made with the highest quality, 100% organic cotton. All of their bedding, from blankets and throws to pillows and duvets, are made with exceptional quality and durability. And everything is on sale. There's a 30 night guarantee, so you can shop worry free. I mean, the packaging is great too. I love the box that it comes in and it's really just like a nice elevated unboxing experience. And I haven't slept on anything other than these and I don't know, years. And they do really get softer with every wash. I'm just so obsessed. The quality is amazing. They're not baggy, you know, I hate a baggy sheet. They fit the bed perfectly. So I am such a fan of it. Rain is too. You can give yourself and your loved ones the most extraordinary feeling. Sleep with 25 off site wide, plus free shipping and extended returns during bowl and Branch's best sale of the year. Shop [e-mail] GGE with code GGE. That's Boland Branch. B O L L a n d branch.com GGE code GGE for 25% off. Exclusions apply.

[C]

And this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. So this is the website platform that Ashley and I have always used for Girls Gotta Eat. And it does literally everything. So we sell tickets on it, we sell merch on it. We have the whole catalog of all our episodes on it. All of our partners are on there. There's so many ways that this is gonna help you. So if you have like a side hustle and you feel like the only thing standing in your way from growing your business, Squarespace is going to be the first place to go. So they have great design intelligence. They're going to have all these AI features for you guys to build a beautiful website. It's going to look professional, it's going to look amazing. You don't have to have any background in design whatsoever and I think it's a little intimidating. So they're going to help you with that. They have Squarespace payments, so if you want to take payments all in one place, they'll help you connect your social accounts and all these multimedia accounts. You can sell content, there's SEO tools. I mean, it is really a one stop shop and it's really user friendly. So if you've never built a website ever, this is going to make it easy and simple for you. And don't let building a website stand in between you and launching a new business because we really do everything on.

[A]

It and so easy to use. So.

[C]

And I built a new website on it. So, you know, check that out on Monday, a week from today, maybe you'll find some stuff on it. You guys can head to squarespace.com GGE for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use GGE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Okay, I have a question. So you and him have been together for nine years.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

@ what point did people start asking, when are you guys gonna get married? And when do people stop.

[B]

Asking? Oh, I love.

[C]

This. And what is your answer for.

[B]

This? The best question? Okay. I'd say a year or two in. Once we moved in together, they were like, when are you getting married? You guys moved in together? We moved in after a year because we both lived with exes in New York and we were like, why the fuck would we not? Well, we pay two rents for each of us to have our own apartments, right? Yeah. We spent every night.

[A]

Together.

[B]

Yeah. And I'd say they stopped.

A couple years ago. It's like finally like after year six, they're like, oh, I guess that's not.

[A]

Six. Okay, so six.

[C]

Years. Well, what was your.

[A]

Answer? So for five years you have.

[B]

To have the whole I still once in a while interrogation. You know, newbies, new people. They'll be like nine years, you're not there. I love talking about it on stage.

[A]

Too. We ask from just curiosity. Yeah. Out of respect. This is not for everybody, you.

[B]

Know? Yeah. I never like, was one of those people that was like, I need to get married. Like, I have a dream wedding. I never cared about that. I was like, I need to be successful. Like, I only cared about my.

[C]

Career. Game. Recognized game.

[B]

Yeah. You know, and then, you know, and he wasn't really like obsessed with getting married or he was like, whatever you want to do. Like, I don't care if I was tomorrow. If I woke up and I was like, I want to get married, let's get married tomorrow. He'd be like, okay.

[A]

Right? You're like, I just want a really big.

[B]

Closet. Yeah, exactly. That's.

[A]

Me. He's like, should I get you? Right. And you're like, no, get me.

[B]

A really big closet that's literally me every day. I am Carrie Bradshaw. I make him watch it every other week. And I'm like, there's the closet. Get it for.

[C]

Me. That didn't work out. So you don't. You don't care if you get married? That's not a thing. And people just finally.

[B]

Stop. Here's when I want to get married, when I can do it myself. So when we first started dating, my sister was getting married. I did not take Jared to the wedding because I was like, I've been with him like two, three.

[A]

Months. Oh.

[B]

Okay. He's not coming to. She got married in Colorado. I'm not bringing him there to, like, a wedding with.

[C]

Family. I was talking about her wedding. I had people I could have, like, invited as a guest, but I was like, I know everybody in this.

[A]

Room. You're a huge part of it. Like, same like.

[C]

Sisters. It would have been weird to be like, yeah, like, to bring somebody. Like, my sister's wedding who was like.

[B]

A. And you're like, I.

[C]

Don'T. Yeah.

[B]

Bother. There's gonna be so many questions. And, like, you have a big role in the week. I was like, I'm.

[C]

Going. I'm doing a stand up set.

[B]

Here.

[A]

Yeah.

Okay.

[B]

So. So my sister's wedding and watching my mom plan my sister's wedding. I mean, we had. There were months we didn't talk. She was a fucking nightmare. And I'm really close with my mom, but there was just. It was drama from day one. And I was like, I had never let this happen. Like, this will ruin us if she throws a wedding, if she plans a wedding for.

[C]

Me. How old was your sister at the.

[B]

Time? 27.

[C]

26? Because I've said this throughout Ashley's whole wedding planning. I planned a wedding when I was like 28. And every minute of it was, like, being tortured because I wasn't paying for it. It was.

[B]

Constant. Yeah, because it's like we were called her bridezilla. We were like, it's her wedding. Like, she's paying so she can make the.

[A]

Calls. We paid for all of it, right? I paid for most of it. And my parents didn't weigh in at all. And they're just so. My parents are so chill. My mom wouldn't have the first. Like, she wouldn't have cared either way. I think my mom would have been annoyed if she had to plan.

[B]

It. But my mom's like, if wasn't a dentist, I would do this as a.

[C]

Career. And we were like, please do it for someone.

[A]

Else. Torture people. Literally torture your.

[B]

Children. I think she flew to Colorado to do the tasting by herself because my sister was in law school and was like, I don't care what the food.

[A]

Tastes. That is so funny. We didn't even do a tasting. But.

[B]

It'S. We.

[A]

Did. Our wedding recap came out a couple days ago. I.

[B]

Know. I want to listen to it. I've seen the teasing of.

[A]

It. Check it out. Because the first thing I started with was like, you should have your dream wedding. Yeah. Because you really get to have that experience again where you're surrounded by all those.

[C]

People. Have you ever heard somebody say, I don't want to get married because my mom ruined wedding planning for.

[B]

Me? It makes.

[A]

Sense. I mean, I'm thinking I had a friend. It just. I swear. And her family had a lot of money and this was in Atlanta. They were just high society people. So it was going to be this fancy wedding and it had to be done the way the parents would approved it. And I just didn't see her for a year. Like, I don't think we ever hung out every weekend. Had to be something with her parents, like whatever, tasting, shopping trip. Like, I. It took over her life and I don't think she liked that either. But we probably got her.

[B]

Back. Friends to wedding planning. They'll be like, I just have so much to do for the wedding. And you're like, in a. In six.

[A]

Months. Like you. I think it's weird. I. There was a good chunk of time that we didn't have to do much. And that was like the bulk of my tour. Those last few weeks were insane. And the beginning was a little picking a venue and all that stuff. And then it really should not be that intense. But it truly takes people's life over for a.

[B]

Year.

[C]

Yeah. So that will do.

[B]

It. We'll plan it on our own. When I have the money to plan my dream wedding. Yeah, I would absolutely do it. You know, but for now I'm like, Or if we won't. And we'll just like go away or buy a house. I don't know. Like, it's.

[C]

Totally. We'll use our money for other stuff. I think that that's probably what trips a lot of people up is like feeling that their partner won't be on board with marrying them when they want to get married. I think you're so the opposite. You're like, well, do it if we feel like.

[B]

It. Yeah. And people are like, why don't you just go to city hall? I'M like cuz that's not my dream wedding. Like if I get married I'm going to have a big party and like invite people. Like I'm not just I don't need to be.

[A]

Married. Yeah. So do you guys want.

[B]

Kids?

[A]

No. Okay. Never. I mean I kind of figured.

[B]

I said that like day one of day I was like don't want.

[A]

Same.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I was like do you? And he was like no, I've never really wanted kids. But again if I was like I could if I wanted. He would be like, okay, I guess we'll have a kid. Like I'm that I have that much influence over this.

[C]

Man. I actually find. And that's probably cause I'm 40 and men that I'm dating probably would have had children by now if they wanted to. But most men that I go on dates with, I always bring it up first date. And most men that I've dated, my experience has been they've been like if the person I'm dating wanted kids I would and if they didn't, I don't care that much. Like that's been more my. I've only really run into two people in the last couple years that have been like my dream. My non negotiable is children. And both of them are fucking trash. So I feel like I got.

[A]

To keep this bloodline.

[C]

Going.

They're not trash because of that. They're just trash people. But everybody else just had been like if my girl's happy, I'm.

[B]

Happy. We have two dogs and we're.

[A]

Like, we'll have a lot more dogs in our life.

[C]

100%. You know, we had Taylor Strecker on the show last week. This episode will come out. One mom and she's going to be a dad. Taylor Strecker is going to be a.

[B]

Dad. Taylor already has a dad. You know what I.

[A]

Mean? We had a real moment with them. Or wasn't Taylor Donahue like, I mean I would have probably been fine if we didn't have a kid. And Taylor Strucker was like, excuse.

[C]

Me. She's like, you first got me.

[B]

Now. This is the first she told me when I was co hosting and I'll never for. I was like, wait, this is real. You're going to be a parent. I was like wait.

[A]

What? Hold on. She's so open. I mean that's like you're our people. So is she. People that are like open about all the things in their decisions and inside of their.

[C]

Relationship. I just. We've had a Lot of people on this show that we've seen change their minds quite a bit. Like, they're out on it, then they're in, they're out and just. I don't know. I think you change your mind as life goes on. Yeah, I wanted to live in New York, then I want to live in la and I want to live New York. But Allie Colbert also just came on the show, talked about.

[B]

It. Oh, my God. She texted me on my way.

[C]

Here. She's.

[B]

Great. She was like, are you going to this event tonight? I'm like, I'm in.

[C]

La. She's.

[B]

Wonderful.

[A]

Yeah. How do you feel about living with a man in a New York City.

[B]

Apartment? I love.

[A]

It. Like, do you guys need to get. I find it so fascinating. I've never done.

[C]

It. I've done it three times and.

[A]

I'm just like, I love you nine years strong. Like, do you ever need your.

[B]

Space? Yeah, well, you know, we moved to LA in 2022. We had a two bed, two.

[C]

Bath. We were like, ugh, you did tell me.

[B]

This. And then we got stuck in New York. We kept our apartment. We had subletted it to a friend. And then we got stuck in New York and we're back in our one bed in New York. Listen, we live in the best area. We have a great building. I love our apartment. But, yeah, we need our fucking space. Now that we're like a year back into it, I'm like, remember when we had, like. Like rooms? We had like, cl. Different closets. Like.

[C]

Yeah. More than just a room. I live in a studio with a.

[B]

Man. Oh, no, that. No, I.

[C]

Lived. I did too, with my room, with a.

[A]

Man. A prison.

[C]

Cell. He cheated on me all the.

[B]

Time. He was like, you're a dude.

[C]

For living in this room with you. Cheat on you all there. He worked at a hotel. He cheated on me. I know. He was that.

[B]

Person. Oh, my God. I lived in a studio with my ex and I always am, like, that was probably the end, you know, Once you get that one room.

Like, too.

[A]

Hot. I can't picture it. It's hard.

[C]

Hard. I think that, like, I moved to New York when I was 22, so, like, I was. It's not like I. Once I could see and now I was.

[A]

Blind.

[C]

Yeah. Or once I was.

[A]

Blind. What's.

[C]

The. Yep. You know what I mean? Like, I never lived in.

[B]

Blind. Now I can.

[A]

See.

[C]

Yeah. I never knew anything.

[A]

Different.

[C]

Yeah. I moved straight there from college, so it wasn't like I had a bunch of space and I Was like, that was taken away from me. Like, it's going to be when I move back. So, like, it's. I never thought about.

[A]

It.

[C]

Totally. I lived in a one bedroom apartment, two different boyfriends, and I mean, it's still small. I mean, you go and cry in the bathroom. I mean, you have to.

[B]

Cry. Yeah, you cry in the bathroom. You have, you know, one's in the living room and one's in the.

[A]

Bedroom. Do you guys have, like, common areas in your building? You can go and, like. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Yeah. Well, we have, like, a full building. You know, we've got.

[A]

Space. I think that's, like, the way to go if you can, you know, afford it and live in a building with, like, some common areas to be like, I just got. I can go. I don't have to leave the premises, but I'm going to just.

[B]

Go. We're also super codependent after being in lockdown together. So I'm like. Even when I leave, I'm like, are you there? And he's like, you were here five minutes ago. Like, that's how we were for a while. It's like psycho.

[A]

Though. No, it's really.

[C]

Cute. I think it's really cute. Do you guys share.

[B]

Locations? No, I've never shared a location with anyone except my friend.

[C]

Andy. We have to talk about this.

[A]

Immediately.

[B]

Okay. I talked about this the other day with.

[A]

Someone. Wait.

[B]

Andy? This is so funny. I don't know. Andy is Jared and my friend, and we love Andy, but for some reason, he's on both of our. We can see Andy's location, and it's like this running joke because we're like, we'll be at dinner and we're like, oh, my God, look, Andy's in the area. Like, he doesn't even live near.

[A]

Us. He lives.

[B]

Like. So he lives in Brooklyn. And we're like, like, huh, There's Andy. And he's the only person on my. I don't know how it happened. I think he did.

[C]

It. He shared it is what happened. Wait, what neighborhood do you live.

[B]

In?

[C]

Williamsburg. Okay, that's what I thought. Williamsburg. Okay, great. I'm gonna guess which building you live in later, but. Okay, I want to talk about location sharing. We haven't really talked.

[A]

About. I know. We were talking about doing a whole episode about.

[B]

It. Oh, my.

[A]

God. So it's just never really come.

[B]

Up? Up. Never come up? Where the hell's J.R. gonna.

[A]

Go? Of course. No, it's not about trust. Like, that's the.

[B]

Thing. Like, but I do think for Some.

[A]

People. For some people. Sorry. That, that's the whole thing. There's just so much nuance and stuff to discuss here. But when we say, like, you know, it has nothing to do with you, don't trust it. Like, I just think, like, he can't see my.

[B]

Location. I'm like, yeah, I'm on the train. I'm like, blow drying my.

[A]

Hair. That's the thing. That's it. You can't.

[C]

Lie. Well, now I have.

[A]

To. That's why brain can have.

[C]

Mine. So I have everyone's location. There's almost no ones I don't have, except for.

[B]

Ashley's. Oh, my.

[C]

God. People that I used to date. I have all of our business.

[B]

Partners. You open it up, you know where everyone.

[C]

Is. All of our friends, all of my. Ashley's the only person I don't share locations with. I share with my family. I share with everybody except for her, because she won't share hers with me. And I did have yours for a little.

[A]

While. I didn't even tell you.

[B]

This. Should we do it.

[C]

Again? Do you know? I didn't tell you. I didn't even tell you this. I hid this for you for a while. This is a big reveal. So one time, you accidentally shared your location on the the group chat with me, Jackie, and Taylor. Like, we all shared our locations for something, and you didn't turn yours off, so it shared it with that group. So every time I wanted to know where you were, I would go out to find that group.

[A]

Chat. Oh. Cause it was in the.

[C]

Chat. This went on for, like, a month. And then you turned it off. You must have accidentally turned it off. And I was like, damn.

[B]

It. I'm so honored to be here for this.

[C]

Moment.

[A]

Wow. I'm trying to remember.

[C]

Why. Because you lie about where you.

[A]

Are. I do. I don't know. I, I, I am working on it. I am.

[C]

Late. Do you share yours with your.

[A]

Family? Yeah, my brother and I have always shared, but it's like, what does it even matter? I mean, sometimes I guess it comes in handy. I like seeing my brothers. Yeah, that's good. My parents.

[C]

Probably. Maybe I turned my.

[A]

Dad. Oh, yeah, we do have my parents. We do have my parents. Because you got to keep track of them and.

[B]

Stuff.

[A]

Yeah. See what they're up.

[B]

To. My parents, my dad, he'll complain if I leave a voicemail. He's like, I don't want to check that. Don't leave it him. I'm like.

[A]

Okay. I love.

[B]

That. He only texts if there's, like, an emergency. We get a text. I'm like, someone died. Like, something's wrong. Why is he contacting me? You know? So, yeah.

[C]

Location. No, I have people that I don't even want them to know I still have.

[A]

It. Yeah, it's crazy that you.

[C]

Do. I only shared it with one person for quite a long time, which was a. Was our video.

[B]

Guy. I'm just picturing you in your apartment with, like, you know, just like, red string. Red string, yeah. Like, okay, he's.

[A]

There. No, she is correctly.

Okay. So it just never came up. Which I respected.

[B]

Yeah. Should I do it tonight? I'd be like, do you want to share?

Well, and I'm just want to share.

[A]

Locations. Nine years. I can be kind of needy. And, like, I will ask Shashank.

[C]

Like, hey, what's near.

[A]

Me? Like, I'll just be. I might need.

[B]

Him. No, that's me. I'll be like, I'm in. I'm in an Uber and I'm starving and I don't know where to.

[A]

Go. Like, literally one time I was like, where's gas? Close by. And he'll, like, help me. Like, he has really handicapped me in that.

[B]

Way.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I just rely on him a.

[C]

Lot. And I like.

[A]

That. Him knowing where I am and what I'm doing and, like, guiding me through life. I'm like an independent woman, but me too.

[B]

Okay. We're very similar. When my ex and I broke up, my parents were literally like, who's going to do the laundry?

I was like, you. I know how to do laundry. They're like, you've never done it. He's always done the.

[A]

Laundry. That is so funny. Your first thing your parents say, not consoling you, they're like, we're going to teach our.

[B]

Laundry. Like, do you know where things.

[C]

Are? I cannot wait till the day that we share location. You know that all of our friends have my.

[B]

Location. I can't wait for the day you share location. I'm gonna share mine with.

[C]

You. We'll start.

[B]

Tonight. That's it. You're gonna have me as your.

[A]

Andy.

[C]

Okay. I love it. Also, it's because, like, every time we go on a trip with somebody, somebody's always just like, where are you? Are you almost here? And I'll just share my location. And then it's rude if they don't share it.

[B]

Back. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Connecticut's. I gotta get them all. So I've just got them all except for.

[A]

Ashley. We'll revisit it tonight at dinner. We've been together all day. We have to go to dinner again.

[C]

Tonight. I'm gonna take a break and get a manicure at some.

[B]

Point. All.

[C]

Right. Some dating.

[A]

Emails. Yeah. So you said that friends come to you because you've been in this long term relationship. Seems really healthy and stable and for dating.

[B]

Advice. Yeah, I love dating.

[A]

Advice. So is this just like, we got to talk to Anna because she gets it, like, does.

[B]

This. I think I'm blunt with.

[A]

People. Okay. I love.

[B]

That. So I think, like, you know, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm gonna be like, this person has. Doesn't care about you. Like, get rid of them. Yeah, I don't know. I set people up before, too. Everyone I've set up has hooked up. So I'm like a. Like, I. I was like, wait, I know how to get people.

[C]

Late. Wait, you should hook me up with.

[B]

Somebody. But they don't. I.

[C]

Will.

[B]

Okay. But they don't date. You know what I.

[A]

Mean? Is Andy.

[C]

Available? No, they don't.

[B]

Date. Apparently Andy had a kid recently. Like.

[A]

He'S. Bummer. Where is he right.

[B]

Now? Hold on, let me.

[C]

Check.

That's a funny niche. You were like, everybody I hook up together just sleeps together, but they don't.

[B]

Date. I used to do this show and it was called the Unemployed show. And it was a live show that I would do every week. And I was like, the matchmaking episodes. And I would pick people that I think would be a good match, and they would come on the show after and report back about the D. And they were always so awkward. And I was like, oh, so you guys fucked? And they were like. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm like, are you dating? And they're like, no, I don't think we'll do it again. And I was like, okay, great. Well, I got.

[A]

Everything. That was really.

[C]

Funny. One fun night. That's.

[A]

You.

[B]

That. That.

[A]

Was. Yeah. You have a sense for people who have sexual.

[B]

Chemistry.

[A]

Yeah. Just. Yes.

[C]

Okay. Well, you could toss that my way.

[B]

Too.

[A]

Okay. I love.

[C]

That. Just throw it my.

[B]

Way. You have to come to New.

[C]

York. I'm there every.

[A]

Week. She's there. Yeah, she's always.

[B]

There. I know. I like, see her get off. I'm like, can we hang out? Where are we eating.

[A]

Tonight? She's like, how's your location.

[C]

In. I'll be there for like two weeks in December. Ashley, be with.

[A]

Me. Yeah, I'll be.

[B]

There. Oh.

[A]

Great. Yeah, we can hang out. You should come to our holiday.

[B]

Show. Oh, my.

[A]

God. Would love. Okay. Perfect. Okay, so we're gonna do some of these emails. They're all kind of in the. Should I break up with them? Great vein. And you can pick what impression you want to answer them. No, I'm just kidding. Can you just go right into an.

[B]

Impression?

[A]

Sure. Okay. Sometimes you don't have.

[B]

To. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But if you feel like.

[B]

Something. My brain was like, should I bring a wig? Because when I do podcasts, a lot of people are like, do your SNL audition for.

[A]

You. Thank you. Thanks.

[B]

Thanks. No, I was like, no, I'm gonna dress cute and have.

[A]

Fun. No, it's really. It's up to you. But. All right. Should we start? Let's just ramp up. So these are real emails that we got from our listeners as opposed to last week's.

[B]

Episode. Was the.

[A]

Fake. The fake ones.

[C]

Yeah. Well, I was writing myself emails from ChatGPT fan.

[A]

Mail.

[B]

Okay. I've had an issue with my phone all day. My friend's like, well, let's ask ChatGPT. And I was like, about my iPhone. Like, he was like, I ask.

[C]

Everything. Just ask.

[B]

Everything. I never do.

[A]

It. I don't do it. I really want to rely on my own brain and my own creativity. But when I do ask his stuff, I have to tell you. The candle from the wedding that I was like, I need a cute. I also don't have it. So my. Make sure do it. I don't have. But I'm like, I'll be like, babe, can you ask ChatGPT? This is my neediness and my, like, codependency. I'm like, babe, can you ask chatgpt what's a cute slogan for a custom candle with our dog for the wedding gift bags? And they wrote out, out. For better or for worse. That wasn't even.

[C]

Me. So I told her, like, I don't. I don't think ChatGPT can write comedy. And I don't think that anybody prize themselves in doing comedy would have them write jokes. But it's great for thought.

[A]

Starters. It's great. Yeah.

[C]

Exactly. Write me a slogan. I used.

[A]

It.

[C]

Yeah. Vibes only website. Like, it's great for.

[A]

That. It really.

[B]

Is. I did ask my mom what should I wear to this event I was going to? And she goes, ask Chachi. Bt I go, I'm sorry.

[C]

What? Your mom. Yeah, Your mom's like, you're.

[A]

So. What the are you.

[B]

Doing? She goes, my tennis friends and I, we ask it all the time. When we have an email, we don't want to write back. We just ask it to do.

[A]

It. And I was like, what percent.

[C]

Yes, I do therapy on.

[B]

It.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. ChatGPT.

[A]

Therapy. Can you talk dirty to.

[C]

It? So there's a couple parameters. It won't be super.

[A]

Sexual. Will it be sort of.

[B]

Sexual? Is it like, I talk dirty to Siri. I, like, test her. You know, we'll be like, hey, Siri. Or like, what are you.

[C]

Wearing? ChatGPT they'll say, this crosses the bounds. Like, sometimes if I use it for vibes only stuff, it will say, this is too far. Also, I tried to get it to change the background on this photo of mine the other day, and it said this, like, materially changes the photo, and we can't alter images and beyond.

[A]

This. But could you say, like, give me a sexy.

[C]

Compliment? Yeah, but it won't be like.

[A]

I want to eat this pussy. Looks.

[C]

Good.

[B]

Yeah. Your hair is.

[C]

Shining. Like, you could write saying, like, punch it up more, make it spicier, but there is, like, a.

[A]

Limit. I just want to test the limit. And if it's like, you know, you look really good in that dress, it's like, well, how about my tits? Like, make it try to get it.

[C]

There. They look perky. You'll test it, probably say they look.

[B]

Perky. It's like a PG.

[C]

Version. It's.

[A]

Pretty.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so this email was titled, help. My partner's hygiene is coming between us. Oh. She says, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend, 29, for seven months now, and everything is going wonderfully. I really believe I found my life partner. There's just one thing. His lack of personal hygiene can be a turn off. Can be a turn off. Says he showers a couple times per week, and he has extreme levels of dandruff. It doesn't seem like he cleans his ears and he'll poke around in there where. What is.

[C]

It? I.

[A]

Can'T. And then touch me. His oral health standards are lacking and could stand to wash his hands more regularly, especially after a day out around the city with me. He'll do an activity like rock climbing or biking and then not feel the need to shower.

[C]

After.

Ashley made me keep this in, I was like, this makes me.

[A]

Sick. I thought she was gonna say, and fingers me after, which would be a hard.

[C]

Line. Honestly, it was. That's not as bad as getting in the.

[A]

Bed. Yeah. She says, the last thing I want to do is have this conversation and offend or embarrass him, but I do wish something would change, especially because it's impacting how attracted I am. To him and how physically close I want to be or can stand to be. How do I communicate my feelings compassionately without hurting his feelings? I appreciate any advice you can give.

[C]

Me.

This will get you laid more. That's what you say to him. I would love to suck your dick more. Here's how you can help.

[A]

Yourself. This.

[B]

Really. Please take a.

[A]

Shower. This really is tough. Like, because it's such a lifestyle. Like showers a couple times a week. Like, how do you get someone that does that to shower daily? That seems like a huge.

[C]

Jump. So as someone who doesn't like to shower. Yeah, I would say I shower daily. I don't want to. I hate being wet and I hate being cold, but I do it cause I want the people around me not talk about me. Like, I want people to think that it's nice to have me around, that I smell nice, that I've, like brushed my teeth and cleaned my ears. Like, yeah, I miss Covid all the time. I miss not having to shower or do anything. But I live in society and I have.

[A]

To.

[C]

Yeah. And listen, I'm not trying to make fun of him, but like, this is just like cleanliness standards.

[B]

For. Yeah. Also the way she writes his email is acting like it's like an emotional problem. And it's like, it's not. When you're like, compatible with someone, you want to live with someone. Like, those are important things. If this person's not gonna shower and then get in your bed every night. That's.

[A]

Disgusting.

[B]

Yeah. After a rock climbing, after physical.

[A]

Activity. Like, that's the thing. And you know, I am obviously in a relationship where we would be like, hey, you smell or your ears or your. Your breath or whatever. Like, we're super open and we were pretty early on. I don't know where they're at seven months in. I mean, I don't know what their relationship is like and how open it is, but I would kind of be like, doesn't it feel so good to like, be clean? Or, you know, like, you could drop some things about how you like to be clean. But I would start. I would start with the like, babe, I love you, but when you're outside all day and you're rock climbing and biking, like, it's physical activity. Like, you know, you got a shower 101. I would like, don't make him.

[B]

Feel. If you really think this person is your she said soulmate life partner, like, you should be able to be honest. You could say it in a non mean way, like, hey, I love you so Much. But you.

[A]

Smell.

[B]

Yes. And I want to. Yeah, I want to hook up.

[A]

Dandruff and, and that's so fixable with sels and blue or heads, head and shoulders or just washing your hair at all. Like what does he do when he's just not washing his.

[C]

Hair? This is just a net positive for him in all areas. He would get laid more, she'd be more attracted to him. I mean, professionally, it's better. I don't know what he does for work, but I think that people want to be around people that like smell nice. Who cares how you dress, if you bad teeth or bad haircut. But like people want you to look camp, you.

[B]

Know? Yeah. If you say something, what's he gonna say? Like, no, I'm good. And then you have to make the decision. Like, I guess I can't handle this. I can't live with a person who.

[A]

Does. I'm surprised she's got this.

[C]

Far. I am.

[A]

Too. I mean, it makes me wonder if this is real likely. I know people, this is chatgpt. But does he, who is in his life, does he have a sister? Does he have a friend? Like, how is a girlfriend, like platonic friend? Never brought this.

[B]

Up. No, that would have been three weeks of like being like, wait, he hasn't.

[C]

Showered. I don't like a boss never brought this up. Like, I feel like, yeah, but like, okay, you and I haven't worked in office in a long time. But like I feel like at some point like an office manager will be like, hey.

[A]

Right? People are.

[C]

Talking. People are talking. Like, yeah, does he go home to her parents house for dinner with her? Like, I, this is like a real deal breaker for me. And I don't know how he could respond. I know he could respond negatively because he's insulted, but like, hey, I'd be more attracted to.

[B]

You. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But here's the.

[B]

Thing.

[A]

I. This is to me, stuff like this is not insulting because it's fixable and it's not personal. You always have bad breath, you might have halitosis, that's different. But you smell because you're not showering is quick.

[C]

Fix. You're right. It's not about who you are as a.

[B]

Person. It's not at all. It's like helping you get better hygiene. It's, you.

[A]

Know.

[B]

Yeah. Every girl likes to turn like, hello, I threw my ex boyfriend's shoes out because I didn't like them. And I was like, I don't know, they must have just gone.

[A]

Missing. Yeah, so.

[B]

Weird. I threw Those shoes out. I'm like, yes, we have to go buy your new.

[A]

Sneakers. These were turning me off. I couldn't look at.

[B]

These.

[C]

Yeah. How she lasted this.

[A]

Long. I.

[C]

Know. So fast. I'm curious what he does for work. I'm curious what her hygiene habits are.

[A]

Like.

[C]

Yeah. Because I think a lot of my, like, girlfriends shower twice a day. Like, I can't imagine them being with somebody that showered twice a.

[A]

Week. Well. And he doesn't wash his hands. Is he fingering her? Like, I just can't stop thinking about him. His grubby.

[B]

Hands. She can say, this is, like, something I care.

[A]

About. Yeah.

[B]

Sorry. Do this for me. Make it about you. Like, yeah. You know, I love when people are just.

[A]

Cleaner. Oh, I thought you meant, like, oh.

[B]

Babe.

[A]

Sorry. I'm just a little ocd. I like to shower every day, but it's just my. It's my weird.

[B]

Thing. Maybe she should invite him to.

[C]

Shower. Shower with.

[A]

Her. I also was wondering.

[C]

That. Yes, he should always be. She probably did try this a bunch of times. Like, wouldn't it be so sexy if we showered.

[A]

Together? Well, I would like to know that. That's my big question for her. Have you tried to get it in the shower with you? When he comes home from rock.

[C]

Climbing all day, he just rock climbs and gets in the bed. I won't get off a plane and touch my bed. I won't get off. I don't even like to wear outside clothing, like, in. On my couch. I change when I get.

[A]

Home. Yeah, okay.

[C]

Let'S. All right, well, good luck.

[A]

Sis.

[C]

Let's. Yeah, good.

[A]

Luck. Let us know how it.

[B]

Goes. Be honest with him. It's for his own.

[A]

Good. Totally. And again, this is not. It's personal, but it's not. Because it's so. It's a quick fix. It's just.

[B]

Yeah. You don't have to say, I'm not attracted to you when you do that. You could just say, hey, you know what I would love?

[A]

Love. Yeah. Slip some Q tips. Yeah. In his hand. See how you do with.

[B]

These. So.

[A]

Good. Okay, I'll do the next one. The subject line is, my boyfriend is insecure and it's giving me the ick. So my boyfriend will call him. Mike and I started dating in May 2025. We've known each other for almost 10 years as we went to high school together, but we're always friends. Mike got out of serious relationship in November 2024 after finding out his fiance was cheating on him. Okay, so let's just. He has Some backstory and some trust issues. Fast forward to January. I'm living in Alabama. He's living in Wisconsin. We're both from there. He slides into my DMs. We start chatting. I'm adamant. I don't want a relationship because of distance. We're old friends. Catching up, catching feelings is what did happen. By March, I landed a new job back in Wisconsin. I'm planning on moving back in May. Still not dating at this point. He visits me at the end of April. It's a great weekend. May rolls around, he moves me back and asks me to be his girlfriend. That was a long journey, but whoa. Anyway, if you guys kept up, she.

[C]

Didn'T. You're still.

[B]

Here.

[A]

Yeah. This May. If you made it this far to eat, email.

[B]

Me. During the math, I'm like, I just had a.

[C]

Stroke.

[A]

May. Okay, so all that to say, they're.

[C]

Dating.

I was like, am I blacking out?

[A]

No. And I was like, wisconsin. Oh, my.

[B]

God. Okay, where is that in relation to.

[A]

Alabama? She writes present tense, which is literally all we needed, sis. But anyway, she's not a journalist.

Maybe she is. She's like, you need to know the timeline. She said, I changed my wallpaper from a picture of Mike and I to a picture of me and my sister. Mike saw a Facebook profile picture in his suggestion Friends. That was me and my ex, because my ex apparently never changed it. Now Mike believes I'm cheating on him. So I guess those two things.

[C]

Together. He saw change the wallpaper on.

[A]

Her phone at the same time that he saw, like, her ex.

[C]

Whatever.

[A]

Okay. He said, I don't want to be the guy you give your final rose to. Like, I'm the bachelorette.

[B]

What?

Sorry, insert bachelor.

[A]

Reference. Yeah, we tried talking about it, but he continued to interrupt me and say how he doesn't trust me, have or confidence in our relationship. I've never cheated on Mike. I love him. I thought we were gonna get married. It was a premature thought. I see that now. If I was a cheater, I feel like this is a safe space and I'd share. Not sure if you'll ever see this, but just a girly trying to figure out if I should dump him or ride out the.

[C]

Relationship. Listen, I think we all bring our own insecurities to relationships, and it's okay to start to unpack those things early and say, here's my boundaries. Here's what makes me feel uncomfortable. As long as it's communicated in a respectful way, right? Sure. And if I all of a sudden saw that the Person I was dating had changed their phone wallpaper and. And the person that was allegedly their ex still had them as a photo and of social media platform. I don't know who's going on Facebook, but that's okay. I would have some questions, but, like, those two things, like, on the same day, but I. I wouldn't break up with somebody for it. It's okay to, like, have that conversation. What. What do you.

[B]

Think? I.

[A]

Think. Yeah. What do you.

[B]

Think? If you have to write, should I ride it out? And it's only been since May. That's rough, Early. You're supposed to still be in your, like, honeymoon. Honeymoon phase. You're like. Like, we love each.

[C]

Other. I don't.

[B]

Know. I feel like clearly he has insecurities. He had a fiance cheat on him. Right. But, like, girl, I think.

[C]

It'S. That's a lot of bad. His mind immediately goes to, like, you're cheating on me. Like, I would still be like, you know, you change your photo and someone else still has a photo of you as their background. Like, what's going on here? But immediately jumping to, you're cheating on.

[B]

Me.

[C]

Yeah. That's.

[B]

Hard. I think, like, if you like this guy, like, you know, you don't have to be so serious right now. He clearly just got out the way of. Of a thing like an.

[C]

Engagement. Wait, how old are they? I'm gonna guess.

[A]

They'Re. We've known each other for almost 10 years together as we went to high school together, so probably late 20s.

[C]

Okay. I mean, I think it's fine to validate the feeling. And I would hope somebody would just accept my answer at face.

[A]

Value. Move.

[C]

On. If he presses you and it becomes an issue, and it's like, you're a cheater. Even though I did nothing to prove to you that I'm cheating on.

[A]

You. Yeah. I think if. Is this a conversation? Hey, the wallpaper thing was just purely a coincidence. With this Facebook photo I have no control over. Yeah. And that's it. And did. Is he gonna respond? I'm sorry. You know, what I went through. I'm triggered, and I apologize, and I'll do better to not be so jealous, then just clock it and keep it moving. But this could be a pattern. Yeah. So she can decide that for.

[B]

Herself. It's also. Didn't she move cities to be with this.

[A]

Guy? She got a.

[B]

Job. She's clearly not, you know, with the other person.

[A]

Still. Right.

[B]

So. So she's showing her.

[A]

Commitment.

[B]

Yeah. I don't.

[C]

Know. I can cheat on you. When your picture is my phone background. Still, I didn't need to change my phone.

[A]

Background. Oh, so.

[B]

He'S.

[A]

That. I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking about. Your mind would go.

[C]

There. Like, he wasn't equating the two.

[A]

Together. Got it. Okay. She changed it so she could cheat. Okay. The wallpaper is another interesting conversation. Like, because Shashanka and I have had pictures of each other for a while now, and I don't know, what if someone changed it? It might be like, oh, I wouldn't think anything of it, but I'd be like, well, why'd you do.

[C]

That? Well, so it was your.

[B]

Phone.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Because we.

[B]

Just. Mine's my dog.

[A]

Always. It was my dog. Our dog. I guess now, technically, mine's my dead.

[B]

Dog. Actually, both of ours is our.

[A]

Dead. Was my dead dog. And then it was my alive dog, because I felt weird having him with the.

[B]

Dead. Like, I always have him on my phone. People always like, is that your dog? He's so cute. And I go, my dead.

[A]

Dog. You have your dead dog, and you have two new dogs. Yes. I felt bad for Azul that he'd be like, why is Dewey on the phone screen? And now it's just because I.

[B]

Always say, you're beautiful, but you are not the king. You know, the king gets the.

[C]

Phone ring of my heart. Wait, so was he previously. Her phone wallpaper, and she changed it to.

[A]

The. Yeah. From a picture of Mike and her to a picture of her and her.

[B]

Sister.

[C]

Okay. I would have. I would ask. But I would ask him, like, come.

[A]

On. Maybe he doesn't.

[B]

Shower. No, I.

[A]

Know. Where's the hygiene in all this? Her and her sister is interesting because to me, it's partner or.

[B]

Dog.

[A]

Yeah. My phone background would be me and Rayna. Would yours be you and your sister? No, it's your.

[B]

Dog. Yeah, it's my.

[A]

Dog. Okay. Or.

[C]

Me. You know, I think you can have the conversation. I think it's fine if he dresses it. I think if he presses it any further. I don't know. I don't want to be, like, harassed about what my phone background.

[A]

Is. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's so.

[C]

Petty. I don't know. Has anybody even been on Facebook in the last 10 years? That guy could have just, like, never updated his.

[B]

Photo. That my ex. If you scroll up, like, three times, I'm on there. He's married with two kids, but you can find me before you find his.

[C]

Wife. We know that.

[B]

Too. Yeah. They just don't go.

[C]

On. You don't care I know this guy. His last two girlfriends are still on there. He's married.

[A]

Yeah. A kid on the way.

[C]

Yeah. You don't even have to scroll that far. They're just all.

[B]

There. I never, like, wiped my old Facebook or Instagram. You know, I'm like.

[C]

Whatever. Okay. We're going to end with a really funny.

[A]

One. Okay. Now I'm like, are people going to roast me for my phone screen? Are most people having their partners on there? Yeah, we just have really good professional kids. They have.

[C]

Kids. People.

[A]

Have. You have your.

[B]

Nephew. They have.

[C]

Kids. Stop doing.

[A]

That. It got a little weird. What is it.

[C]

Now? There's just, like, a bald baby on my phone. A little weird.

[B]

Actually. My home screen. You'll love this. That's my dog who passed away. My sweet Bobby Flay, angel of my.

[C]

Life. You called him Bobby.

[B]

Flay? Bobby.

[A]

Flay. He.

[C]

Lives. Do you know Bobby.

[B]

Flay? Do you have a.

[C]

House? He's cooked for.

[B]

Me. We went to the Same vet for 414 years, so we know of each other, and I've met him a couple.

[A]

Times. Does he know you, the dog?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. He does. Oh, my God. Because Nacho would go to the same.

[C]

Vet.

[B]

Yes. My. As my Bobby Flay. And they'd always be like, oh, my God, he just called. Like, they would think I'm his assistant. The best is when I'd call and I'd be like, bobby Flay has the Red Rockets staring at.

[C]

Me. I don't know what to.

[B]

Do. I do this on stage and they'll be like, I'm sorry, what? And I'm like, his boner. What? How do I get rid of.

[A]

Him? Like, so would you call.

[B]

Bobby?

[A]

Bobby? Would you call your dog Bobby.

[B]

Flay or Bobby Always Bobby. Bobby Flay Be Flay. I mean, we call him Bobby sometimes. Oh, my phone background's my dead grandmother. Actually, it's really just a memorial. My phone, dead.

[A]

People. There's a few ashes sprinkled in the back of.

[B]

Real. I probably made this, like, collage of my grandma when she died, and I just never changed.

[C]

It. No, you're like. You could be on my phone screen, but you have to die.

[B]

First. Yeah, I have to. It's a way to.

[C]

Remember. Did you. Okay, you did. Jeremy Jacob. What's his, like, bagel thing that I also.

[A]

Did? I want to do what.

[B]

He'S. Oh, my.

[C]

God. Ask him. He would love to.

[B]

Have. You got to do.

[C]

It. I think you outscored super low. Oh, you. Oh, I outscored you? Okay, great. Did you Guys talk about Bobby.

[B]

Flay. No, we.

[C]

Didn'T. Jeremy worked for Bobby Flay for years. That's how I met Bobby Flay. So I ended up his house for dinner and hung out with the Maine.

[A]

Coons.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Okay. Maine Coons trip me.

[B]

Out. We've never hung out, but we know each other. I used to work in restaurants when I first graduated, like for a bunch of chefs and stuff.

[A]

Stuff. So. Oh, you guys should talk about.

[C]

That. Okay, last email. Okay, I'm scared the title is too well.

[B]

Endowed. Oh, my.

[C]

God. So my boyfriend is amazing. He's all the things you guys always say I should be looking for. He supports me, he adores me. He's truly a king. But he also is extremely, aggressively, unnecessarily, well.

[A]

Endowed. Unnecessarily is a well ended. There are a bunch of women.

[B]

Just being like, well, great, I'm gonna crash my car now that everything's perfect and he has a big dick. Okay, keep going. Like, I feel like I need.

[C]

To. To stretch and hydrate before we hook.

[B]

Up.

[C]

Seriously. It's gotten to the point where I'm nervous to have sex because even with all the foreplay in the world, it is still a whole situation. We tried different positions, we tried going slow, we've tried lube. And I want to have sex with him. I'm super attracted to him, but my body is like, absolutely not. I feel ridiculous even typing this because who complains about this? But I'm genuinely worried. Is it a reason to end an otherwise incredible relationship? If the sexual sex is painful more often than not. And if not, help me, because right now I feel like I'm dating someone whose equipment is.

[A]

Unmanageable. Okay. I wanted you to noodle on who you'd like to answer this.

[C]

As. Oh, it would be fast answer it is.

[B]

Oliver. Kris.

[C]

Jenner. Kris.

[B]

Jenner. So, by the way, I just have my glasses.

[A]

Okay. This just happened with a celebrity who I thought it was Hayley Bailey, who was Little Mermaid, but it's another celebrity named Hayley.

[C]

Bailey. That's her Instagram handle. Her actual name is Hayley Cali, I think is her actual last.

[A]

Name.

[C]

Name. You've seen her, she's like this long red hair. She's super beautiful. She was married to this football.

[B]

Player.

[C]

Okay. She said that they ended up breaking up because he had like, coke can. Like a coke can for a.

[A]

Dick. Yeah, but they got married. Yeah, they got married. Haley Bailey. Yeah, they call her. Oh, that's her handle. Said her ex husband's dick who he's this NFL player was too big. But, I mean, they got married, which is.

[C]

Interesting. Okay, so is it a reason to break up with somebody and then.

[B]

What? First of all, congratulations. I mean, there are people all over the world who would love to have a giant dick inside of them. And you're talking to the right doctor. You know, I've been with Corey now 10 years, and he was a trainer, you know.

So I saw it right through those little mesh shorts, and I thought, doll, I could change your life. I really could. And, you know, when I brought Corey home, Kimberly and Chloe, they were so worried. They said, mom.

Bruce was not, you know, Corey sized.

And I have to say, at first it's.

[A]

Daunting. It.

[B]

Is. You know, but you gotta take it, like a chance. It's like taking a shot. You get better over time. You really, you know, and. And you gotta just say to yourself, look in the mirror every day and stretch it out.

And look down at your vagina and you say, you're doing amazing, sweetie. Oh, my.

[C]

God. That was.

[A]

Insane. You made.

[B]

It. Maybe stick a football in there. You know, give her a little oh, my God.

[A]

Move. Also, the best family, to answer this in general, just took.

[B]

Raging. Yeah. I said, go, Kylie, go. Shove it up.

[A]

There. This family became famous because of the biggest dick I've ever seen. I remember watching that sex tape, and I could not believe it. Both of Kim's hands were on it, and there was space between her hands. And why do you think I'd put it out.

[B]

There? I knew a star when I saw one.

Kim looked great. But you know who the star of that video was?

Oh, my.

[C]

God.

You do it without breaking either. You really just go straight through. I was trying to not, like, look at you. I don't want to make you.

[B]

Laugh. I'll look straight at the camera. Shove a dick inside.

[C]

Doll. I was like, where's the doll football?

It's.

[A]

Sick. Okay, but real.

[B]

Talk. I mean, real talk. Back to being real.

[A]

Girls. There are some things you can.

[B]

Do. But I feel I was gonna say, like, ask like, a doctor or sex therapist even. Like, in this, if you really like the person, like, there's got to.

[C]

Be a way, you know? I wonder what he has done with previous partners because, like, I'm assuming this has been a problem. I dated one person, and it was just so big that, like, it was hard for me to, like, have an orgasm because I was, like, in pain. I definitely. I could, like, pretty much only take it in missionary. Like, even on top. Hurt. Doggy was out of the.

[B]

Question. I love his experience too. And then this guy, I also was like, he's so confident, but he's like, he like to comment. I was like, why is he so cocky? And then I was like, oh yeah, I get.

[A]

It. Like Mr. Cocky on sex and the City. I mean, I love that guy. For Samantha, it was.

[B]

Her. I was like, I can't, I.

[C]

Can'T. I mean, I would have sex in missionary and I would enjoy that. I just couldn't get like really.

[A]

Creative. But I feel for anyone who is dealing with an issue that causes pain during sex. Obviously a huge dick is gonna be painful to any woman who experiences pain for whatever reason. I feel for. Cause you should look forward to it. And there's only so much you can do. I mean, you can train a little bit. I mean, you train your butthole, butthole to have anal. Like you can use bigger dildos. You can really try. But there's a point where it truly is just too big. And I don't have the answers. I mean, are you guys having good foreplay or can you eat pussy? I mean, is there other stuff you can do? And then you can just try to try it. But you don't want to do something against your will either. I mean, Lube is going to be your best friend and just if you really think it's a long term partner, you need to practice with some.

[B]

Dildos. Yeah, I don't want it to end if everything else is.

[C]

Great. I.

[B]

Know. Because that's like someone else would literally be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, get, get it together, you.

[C]

Know? But like if this guy and I could ever be in the same room for three days and not had a fight, I just like, I don't know what I would have done because I was so attracted to him. I like want him, him so badly. But like, it, I couldn't take.

[A]

It. Yeah, I had a lot of guys that I've slept with that had big.

[B]

Dicks. But how.

[A]

Many? But the biggest one I ever saw, he came home, we started hooking up. And when I tell you, like, it tumbled out of his pants and I was like, absolutely not. Like, I don't know how you got through the door with that. Like, it was crazy. And I, we didn't have sex. I never saw a dick like that big. Yeah, I used to joke on stage, it was like a slinky going down the stairs. It just like kept coming. It like unfolded multiple times. I'd never say anything. Like he was our basketball center when I was at Clemson, and I didn't do it. Like, it wasn't worth it. I wasn't. We weren't gonna date. Yeah. I was like, we can just.

[B]

Cuddle. That was kind of the guy when I. I was like, it's so massive, and I didn't like it. And then I, like, got a UTI after soul cycle, and I was like, he's ruining my exercise now. I can't. I can't do this.

[A]

This. Yeah. There was a guy I remember having sex with, like, off. Some guy I met off Tinder one night in Atlanta, and I just. The pain the next day. Like, I don't like that feeling in my. That it's, like.

[C]

Sore. I feel it, like, in my stomach. Like, you're just like. He would, like, look down at me during sex, and I would be like. Like, biting my lip. It was, like, so.

[A]

Bad. So you could talk to your doctor. Foreplay, obviously. It opens up your. Yeah.

[B]

Vagina. You have to try hard. You have to work a little harder for.

[C]

It.

[B]

It. Want to hook up with this and try your best.

[C]

Yeah. Have him go down on you. If you can have an orgasm before sex, it will just, like, open all.

[B]

That.

[C]

Totally. Lots of.

[A]

Lube. That's a good call. I mean, we have babies. We don't. We.

[C]

Don'T. None of us.

[B]

Do. No, we.

[C]

Don'T. But some people seen it, some we know it does.

[B]

Happen. That happens.

[A]

Yeah. But it hurts, apparently. So good luck out.

[B]

There. Oh, just let him finger you and be like, I love.

[A]

You.

Just have him finger you while he jerks off.

[C]

Yeah. And slip him a sleeping.

[B]

Pill. Take a shower together. Maybe try it in the shower.

[C]

Yeah. I actually was, like, watching our friend Julio Galleri. I got. I served this, like, clip of his yesterday, and he's talking about how, like, he doesn't understand how, like, it's. The shower is, like, hot and wet, but it's like sandpaper. Like, I can't have sex in.

[A]

There. Oh, don't do it in the shower, because dicks get bigger in the shower.

[C]

Really? Yeah. You want in the.

[A]

Heat? I mean, I guess if it's hard, whatever. But when Chonky comes out of the shower, I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I'm.

[C]

Never. Yeah. You want cold.

[A]

Dick? Yeah. Right? They should be having sex like. Like.

[B]

Outside.

[A]

Okay. In the.

[B]

Winter. Go find the bleachers at the football field. Just take a little. I don't get high.

[C]

Maybe. Oh.

[A]

Get.

[C]

That's. That's a great.

[B]

Idea. Great.

[C]

Call. I. When I get.

[A]

High. I'm so. Yes. Edibles.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, but. And maybe the pain will be. You know, you feel it as.

[A]

Much. I love this. Take a ski trip with some.

[B]

Edibles. Take a ski trip. Do it on a mountain Stoned out of your mind now how much.

[A]

Can they shrink this dig?

[C]

I.

All right, well, we solved it.

You're.

[B]

Amazing. Oh, my God. I love you guys. Thank you so much for having me. I was like, we're gonna be real friends. They don't know it yet, but we know we.

[C]

Are. And can you tell everybody, like, where to follow you? I knew you have a show coming up at Joe's Pub. Tell people when it is. All the.

[B]

Things. Yeah, you can find me anywhere. Anna Royceman. A N N A R O I S M A N And I'm doing my one woman show. It's called Triple Threat. And it's gonna be January 7th at Joe's.

[C]

Pub. And where can people.

[B]

Get. Their Tickets are on sale. They'll find in my Instagram.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Our. My website.

[C]

Yeah. Also that venue is really.

[B]

Fun. It's the best. I love doing shows.

[A]

There. Yeah.

[C]

Fun. Okay, well, we're gonna be in.

[A]

Town. Yeah. If you guys aren't following her, what are you doing? So get on it. Go to your show. Maybe we'll be there.

[B]

Thanks. I love you guys.

[A]

Okay. Okay. And you guys know where to find us. Girls gotta eat dot com. We will see you at our holiday show in New York. Maybe you can come. That's December 13th, so get tickets. Girls got eat podcast on Instagram and Tick tock. I am Ash has Rain is Rand Greenberg. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend. Pick up our vibes Only toys and help stretch out your vagina if you're dealing with a guy with too.

[C]

Big a dick or a.

[A]

Lube. And we'll see you.

[C]

Thursday. Have a good week.

[A]

Guys.

Sam.