Girls Gotta Eat — "Perks of Sex Toys and Short Guys with Sally Coching" (Sept 8, 2025)

Episode Overview

This episode is an engaging, comedic deep dive into sex toys, dating strategies, self-pleasure, and debunking dating app stereotypes. Co-hosts Ashley Hesseltine and Raina Greenberg are joined by Sally Koching—Head of Product at Vibes Only and longtime friend of the show—to debut new products, answer listener questions about sex toys and relationships, and discuss Sally’s unique, spreadsheet-driven approach to dating, including her relationship with her “short king” partner.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Egg Carton Prank Saga (03:14–13:18)

• Ashley shares an ongoing playful prank with her fiancé: Hiding a tiny two-egg carton in unexpected places (bed, laundry, suitcase, yoga mat). The saga becomes an inside joke with Raina and Sally.
• “This could go on forever. Who’s to say? We could be dying together in hospice and the nurse brings in the egg carton.” — Ashley (13:18)
• Theme: Joy in partnership and the importance of fun, even without kids.

Memorable Quote

"We have to find ways to entertain ourselves. We have to find joy."
— Ashley (13:27)

2. Summer Recap & Personal Reflections (02:45–13:38)

• Raina and Ashley celebrate their best summers ever, travel stories, family time, and upcoming fall/wedding plans.
• Raina’s strong confirmation about not wanting kids, and Ashley’s appreciation of being an aunt.

3. Introducing Sally Koching: Sex Toy Design, Origin Story, and Building Vibes Only (21:35–28:41)

• Sally has worked in the sex toy industry for 7 years and helped pivot brands from “taboo” to “lifestyle.”
• She connected with Ashley by sending her vibrators during the pandemic, leading to their business partnership.
• Sally’s vision: “I wanted sex toys to feel like an extension of your lifestyle, not something you should be ashamed of.” (23:12)

Workflow Details

• Prototyping, rigorous product testing routines, and the team’s hilariously candid feedback sessions (“It could be an inch shorter because my vaginal cavity can’t take it.” — Raina, 28:12).
• Designing for all genders: Recruiting friends (gay men) to help prototype penis toys when single.

4. Dating as a Sex Toy Entrepreneur: Filtering, Transparency, and Short Kings (29:46–63:08)

A. Navigating Dating & Profession

• Sally always discloses her job on dates: “If you get in my car, I have samples in the trunk!” (29:46)
• Mixed reactions: Some men are supportive, others objectify or get intimidated.
• Raina and Ashley discuss the stigma, double-standards, and commercialization of women who work in sexual wellness.

B. Sally's Spreadsheet Dating Experiment (Amy Chan’s "Secretary Problem") (34:42–39:43)

• After a hard breakup, Sally began tracking dating experiences using a spreadsheet—columns for compatibility, pros/cons, etc.
• “Why wouldn’t we put as much care into this as we put into our jobs?” — Ashley (38:01)
• The experiment led her to meet her current partner during the “first 12” phase.

C. Meeting Her Partner & The “Short King” Conversation (43:34–63:08)

• Sally’s boyfriend is 14 years older and much shorter than her previous partners (she’s 5’3”; he’s under 6 ft).
• They met on Raya, began as casual, but reconnected after giving each other space post-grief.
• Empathy & patience were essential due to his bereavement.
• Discussion on height filters: Critique of women filtering men by height on apps; only ~14.5% of American men are over 6 feet (53:11).
  • “Why would I compete with every woman for 14% of men? That sounds really hard.” — Sally (55:11)
  • Focus on personality, emotional compatibility, and kindness over superficial criteria.
• Short kings & empathy: Shorter men may develop more character and empathy due to experiencing less privilege/opportunity.

Notable Exchange

“After my breakup, I wasn’t like, ‘Oh, I wish he was shorter or taller.’ That was so not the reason I was heartbroken. It was because of all these other incompatibilities.”
— Sally (56:57)

5. Sex Toys 101: New Products, Myths & Listener Q&A (65:05–90:39)

A. Product Launches (65:21–75:27)

• Farah Finger Vibe: Finger-worn vibrator for solo or partner play; designed for versatility and comfort.
• Glow Below Intimate Moisturizing Oil: Vulva-safe daily moisturizer with skin-friendly ingredients, especially for sensitive skin or menopausal dryness.
• Play Pillow (Sex Wedge): Foam wedge for positioning/support during sex; enhances angles and keeps things comfy and adventurous.
  • “It’s wedge-shaped...meant to go under your buttocks and lift that hole up.” — Raina (73:03)
  • Discreet, high-end design—“No one would know you’re carrying a sex pillow if you took it down the street.” — Sally (75:03)

B. Sex Toy Myths: Vibrator ‘Addiction’ & Mixing it Up (75:36–78:48)

• Is vibrator ‘addiction’ real? Not medically, but “your brain can get used to one style of stimulation.” Vary positions, toys, or try manual play to keep sensation pathways open (75:57).
  • “You really have to think about using a sex toy, any sex toy, as...part of a workout routine. You wouldn’t just do the same five exercises.” — Sally (75:57)
• Encourage using fingers/switching up routine to avoid over-reliance on a single stimulation type.

C. Introducing Toys With Partners (79:27–83:04)

• Don’t position toys as a fix for a partner’s “deficiency.” Instead, frame it as adding fun together.
  • “This is not replacing you, this is in addition to our sex life. It’s your sous chef—why do you hate your sous chef?” — Ashley (81:31)
• Start with easy, non-threatening toys or light bondage (handcuffs, sleep masks) if your partner is hesitant.

D. Cleaning, Safety, & Toy Reuse (84:31–87:39)

• Use dedicated toy cleaners, but team admits to sometimes just rinsing or going “lazy.”
• Clean between partners for hygiene; if a partner is worried, “Just lie. Or send them a link to buy a new one.” — Sally & Ashley (85:24)

E. Tips for Butt Play (87:54–90:25)

• Be turned on, relaxed, and use plenty of lube (not spit).
• Start with external massage and use toys with anchors to prevent accidents.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Sex Toy Testing:
  “By the time I had to use that hard vibrator...in the middle of a call...Ashley’s like, ‘Okay, I’ll be right back.’” — Sally (28:29)
• On Height Filters:
  “I like what I like, but when I really think...what do I love about my previous partners? The way they look is so far down the list.” — Raina (56:39)
• On Short Kings:
  “Let it be known, short kings are not charity work. I said it here today.” — Sally (61:27)
• On Toy Hygiene:
  “How many people have we let finger us, and they have dirty fingernails, by the way?” — Ashley (87:23)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:14 — Egg carton prank saga begins
• 21:35 — Sally Koching introduction & Vibes Only origin
• 34:42 — Sally’s dating spreadsheet experiment
• 43:34 — Meeting her partner & age/height differences
• 53:09 — Debunking the “Six Foot Filter” myth
• 65:05 — New sex toy launches
• 75:36 — Vibrator “addiction” & mixing up routines
• 79:27 — How to introduce toys with a partner
• 84:31 — Toy reuse, cleaning, cleaner discussion
• 87:54 — Tips for butt play

Tone & Style

• Frank, playful, irreverent, embracing sexual topics with humor and candor
• Community- and women-focused: Inclusive, body-positive, holding space for all experiences and preferences
• Actionable advice: Rooted in personal experience, listener questions, and science-backed recommendations

Takeaways for Listeners

• Sex toys should be embraced as lifestyle accessories—not hidden away.
• Don’t over-filter potential partners for superficial traits; openness can yield unexpected happiness.
• Using vibrators isn’t “addictive,” but mixing up your routine is key for continued pleasure.
• Introduce sexual novelties as collaborative fun; don’t make a partner feel inadequate.
• Good sex requires communication, curiosity, and sometimes, a spreadsheet.

Find all new Vibes Only products mentioned at vibesonly.com and keep up with “Girls Gotta Eat” at girlsgottaeat.com or follow them on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.

Memorable close:

“Let it be known, short kings are not charity work. I said it here today.”
— Sally (61:27)