Girls Gotta Eat – Should You Date Down or Will it Ruin Your Love Life?
Podcast: Girls Gotta Eat
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine & Raina Greenberg
Release Date: October 27, 2025
Producer: Dear Media
Episode Overview
In this lively, comedic, and candid episode, Ashley and Raina dig into the controversial dating trend of "shreking"—dating less conventionally attractive partners (a.k.a. “dating down”) with the hope they’ll treat you better. They offer their signature blend of humor and honesty as they debate whether shreking is a life hack or a disaster, share their poll results (and wild listener opinions), tell personal stories about dating, and reflect on Vegas bachelorette adventures. The episode also includes a thought-provoking listener dilemma: Should bad cooking be a deal breaker? Throughout, the hosts discuss settling, superficial standards, and figuring out what really matters in love.
Highlights & Structure
1. (00:00–14:54) Banter, Vegas Recap & Life Updates
- Vegas Recovery: The episode opens with post-Vegas “flu,” car recall drama, and tales of hosting a packed wedding week with multiple themed outfit requirements.
- Vegas Bachelor(ette) Festivities: The duo shares stories from trips to the Cosmopolitan, Chandelier Bar champagne escapades, Chippendales (including Raina’s raucous on-stage moment), and the Chain Smokers at XS nightclub.
- Quote (10:34, Raina): "I like a packed out itinerary. ...I want a lot of instructions."
- Personal Anecdotes: The hosts riff on buying kids’ gifts, registries, and the perils of group travel organizing.
- Shopping Fiascos: Matching Vegas outfits nearly gone wrong: “I looked like a sausage case.” (32:21, Raina)
2. (14:55–38:31) Bachelorette Party Escapades & Listener Encounters
- Chippendales Details: Raina hilariously recounts being selected to be part of the male revue’s show.
- Quote (17:40, Raina): "There is a legit man taking a shower on the stage."
- Quote (19:37, Raina): "He hit my ass so hard. You see it reverberate like six times."
- Host Dynamics: Differences in comfort zones: "I just don’t want to be like, thrusted into and thrown around, and you do.” (19:41, Ashley)
- Fan Interactions: From airport blunders to fan hellos and “white knuckling” through hangovers.
- Quote (25:39, Ashley): "Is this your phone? Through the entire security line."
3. (38:32–40:40) Episode Topic Introduction: Should You “Shrek” or Date Down?
- Shreking Defined: “Shreking” = dating down in looks, drawn from the Shrek/Princess Fiona trope.
- “The mindset... is that they’ll treat you better because you’re out of their league.” (51:02, Ashley)
- Self-Reflection: Both hosts acknowledge their humble dating beginnings.
- Quote (52:13, Ashley): "As two people that were Shrek... I’m allowed to talk about this."
4. (40:41–50:13) Listener Dilemma: Would You Break Up With a Bad Cook? (39:31-50:13)
Email Summary
A listener’s long-term boyfriend is a “terrible cook,” doesn’t like going out, and treats food as merely functional. She loves food/cooking and wonders if this is grounds for a breakup.
Discussion Points
- Bad Cook = Dealbreaker? Both agree: It’s potentially a dealbreaker, especially when food is central to your lifestyle.
- Quote (41:50, Ashley): "[This] email felt so egregious... this is one strike too many."
- “Food is so much more important to me than I ever realized. ...It’s a huge part of my relationship.” (43:17, Ashley)
- Core Values vs. Skills: If this issue reflects a deeper incompatibility (values, lifestyle, love language) rather than just skills, it might be fundamental.
- Comparisons: The hosts compare it to passions like fitness or the outdoors—aspects you can’t force.
- Listener Advice: If everything else is great, maybe you can compromise by doing food adventures with friends instead.
- Sexual Correlation Joke: “He definitely does not eat pussy. He’s like, you know I hate to eat.” (49:49, Ashley)
5. (50:14–61:33) Deep Dive: The Myth of “Shreking” & Poll Results
Shreking, Dating Down, and Attraction
- Origin: Trend comes from TikTok/NY Post, named after “Shrek”—dating someone less conventionally attractive hoping they’ll treat you better.
- “In this plot line, you’re dating an ogre without the princess treatment.” (Amy Chan quoted, 55:10)
- Critical Analysis: The belief that being less attractive makes someone treat you better is not supported by reality or listener experience.
- “There’s no correlation between what somebody looks like and how they’re gonna treat you.” (56:30, Raina)
- Personal Stories: Both share stories of dating way out of their league and learning hard lessons.
- Shreking in the South: Commentary on regional dating mismatches, humorously noting, "Try to find a chin on a man in the south." (54:18, Raina)
Audience Polls & Insights (63:47+)
- Can broke boys fuck better? 55% True, 45% False
- Less attractive guys treat you better? 53% True, 47% False
- Listener Comments: Many say their worst treatment came from less attractive or less wealthy partners; “Ugly men get too confident,” “Ugliest man I dated was the only one who cheated,” etc.
Standout Quotes
- “Ugly guys can be perks too.” (66:32, B)
- “There is the uggo ego epidemic, where twos think they deserve tens because their mom said so.” (64:40, A)
- "I want a guy I think is hot and no one else does. And that’s a lie." (68:05, Ashley)
6. (61:34–80:52) Broader Reflections: Settling, Standards, and What Actually Matters
- Superficial vs. Core Values: The hosts urge listeners to distinguish between standards that relate to personality (non-negotiable) and those that are conditional, like height or money.
- “You shouldn’t compromise on the personality traits... but then people bring in looks, height, money, job, age...” (73:23, Ashley)
- “Values vs. Conditions: Money isn’t who someone is at their core.” (74:16, Ashley)
- Why Are We Attracted to Certain Traits? Ask yourself: What trait do you keep prioritizing that never brings you happiness?
- The Myth of Marrying Up: Wealth, looks, and status don’t guarantee happiness or decency; many women invest in a rich, high-status man and are still neglected emotionally.
- “The only common thread is that you can’t let go of this one thing [money/status] that keeps making you unhappy.” (75:49, Raina)
- Agency & Making Your Own Money: Discuss the importance of financial independence for women, referencing Keke Palmer and Tori Dunlap.
7. (80:53–end) Closing Thoughts and Outro
- Spirit of the Episode: "Good people will treat you well. ...Looks are the least important thing." (60:55, Raina)
- Jokes & Reassurance: Lighthearted encouragement to “take a chance on a guy with fucked up teeth. You can always fix teeth.” (81:13, Ashley)
- Tour/Promo Reminders: Ticket info, YouTube, and social.
Notable Quotes & Time Stamps
- 11:27, Ashley: “You’re one man registry.”
- 19:17, Ashley: "They had me sit up there and just kind of danced around me, and it was perfect. ...I just don’t want to be, like, thrusted into and thrown around, and you do."
- 43:17, Ashley: "Food is so much more important to me than I ever realized. ...it's a huge part of my relationship."
- 49:49, Ashley: “He definitely does not eat pussy. He’s like, you know I hate to eat.”
- 61:12, Raina: “The least important thing is how somebody looks. I don’t want to date somebody who how they look is their whole personality, in either direction.”
- 68:05, Ashley: "I want a guy I think is hot and no one else does. And that’s a lie."
- 73:23, Ashley: “You shouldn’t compromise on the personality traits... but then people bring in looks, height, money, job, age...”
- 75:49, Raina: "The only common thread is that you can’t let go of this one thing [money/status] that keeps making you unhappy."
- 81:13, Ashley: “Take a chance on a guy with fucked up teeth like I did with Azul. You can always fix teeth.”
Takeaways
- **“Shreking”—dating down for better treatment—is not a magic fix and often backfires; attraction can grow but mistreatment isn’t dictated by looks or status.
- **Don’t compromise on core values or what fulfills you emotionally and intellectually; be realistic about which traits contribute to lasting happiness.
- **Having fun and being true to yourself is the real key—superficial qualities are fleeting, but compatibility and effort matter most.
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Vegas & Bachelorette Stories: 00:27–14:54, 14:55–38:31
- Chippendales Show Recap: 14:43–19:56
- Listener Email: Bad Cook Dilemma: 39:31–50:13
- Shreking Overview & Polls: 51:01–64:07
- Uggo Ego, Money, and Dating Down: 63:47–72:04
- Settling, Standards, and What Matters: 73:06–80:52
Girls Gotta Eat remains sharply self-aware, a little raunchy, and always rooted in the realities of modern dating—with both hosts reminding listeners to laugh, question assumptions, and eat well (and date well, however you define it).