The Millennial Midlife Crisis

Summary

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Girls Gotta Eat (Dear Media)

Episode: The Millennial Midlife Crisis (June 8, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt, funny, and timely episode, hosts Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg dive deep into the millennial midlife crisis. They explore personal transitions, the broader economic and social pressures facing their generation, and the quest for meaning, community, and joy in midlife. Against the backdrop of big moves (including Rayna’s decision to return to New York), evolving friendships, and an uncertain world, they offer validation, insight, and encouragement for listeners navigating similar crossroads.

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Key Topics and Takeaways

Catching Up, Content Creation, and Social Media Couples

[00:28 – 06:15]

• Ashley and Rayna start by sharing their exhaustion and the realities of prepping for recording (Rayna: “My office hours are over at 4.” [00:37])
• Ashley plugs the “Kitchen Sink” recipe app by her husband, Shashank, highlighting its practical value for busy people and its new availability on Android.
  • “It generates recipes, so you just put in what you have or don’t have… and it will generate ingredient lists and recipes in three forms: basic, classic, and creative.” – Ashley [02:24]
• They discuss filming cooking content as a couple, shout out influencer couples like John & Alex, and debate whether that life is for them.
  • “Some couples do that all the time and I respect it. …But I don’t know if I could live that life… your relationship is your business.” – Ashley [04:16]
  • Rayna says she loves unplugged vacations and not setting up cameras on trips; social media couples who find it second nature are “living their dream” [05:00]
• TikTok trends: The hosts talk about a viral trend of saying the same line (“you shaved your bush”) in different tones (supportive, disappointed, sarcastic, flirty), highlighting how pop culture stuff inspires their own relationship videos. [06:06]

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Celebrity Sightings: LA Stories

[08:24 – 15:48]

• Rayna shares an "insane" Margot Robbie sighting at Crudo e Nudo in LA—a starstruck, voyeuristic lunch (her friend Melanie is too busy eavesdropping to talk to Rayna).
  • “Sitting next to Margot Robbie… like, that’s a level of star power where I don’t know how to function.” – Rayna [11:14]
  • “Why were you trying to talk when you could be eavesdropping on Margot Robbie?” – Ashley [11:48]
• The conversation drifts through their other celeb sightings (Goldie Hawn, Lori Loughlin, Elijah Wood, Jonah Hill).
• Both discuss the awkwardness and etiquette of being in close proximity to celebrities—Ashley admits she’s poor at spotting them, but reflects on the oddity, and privilege, of the LA lifestyle.

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Photo Etiquette & Millennial Friendship Dynamics

[16:15 – 21:32]

• Ashley tells a hilarious story about being asked to take a photo for strangers at Yamashiro, only to have the server redo it in front of her—unpacking the weird etiquette around asking for and giving feedback on others’ photo-taking ability.
  • “If I had asked someone to get up and take a photo of us, and then it wasn’t good enough…and then I’d ask the server, I would say something.” – Ashley [19:08]
• Rayna reflects on always being surrounded by couples, missing one-on-one time with girlfriends, and how unattached social connection is harder to come by as you get older.
• The importance of friend-group dynamics, and the challenges when your social circle shifts toward couples, especially in LA.

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Major News: Rayna Moves Back to New York

[24:27 – 30:55]

• Announcement: Rayna is moving back to NYC after three and a half years in LA!
  • “At the beginning of the year … my only goals for the year were to do this tour and to move back to New York. And … they coincided, which was crazy.” – Rayna [24:36]
• She discusses her complicated feelings: nostalgia for LA, love for the city, but feeling her social/family ties and single life possibilities are stronger in New York.
  • “LA can be really lonely and really isolating… most of my social circle is me and a bunch of couples.” – Rayna [25:19]
• Ashley’s reaction: Happy for Rayna, but admits the move is “destabilizing”—but both agree the priority is for each to live fully and not be tethered by the podcast.
  • “If someone wants to make a change, they can do that… we can’t be tethered to somewhere where someone isn’t 100% happy.” – Ashley [28:05]
• Logistics for the podcast: Reassurances that the show and their bond aren’t going anywhere (“We were apart for three months in 2020. We know what we’re doing, with way less tech!” – Ashley [49:18])

Notable Quote

“You’re the thing that anchors me here. You’re my family. You’re the closest relationship in my life.” – Rayna [26:57]

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Reflections on Life Phase and the Millennial Experience

[30:55 – 43:08]

• Both hosts unpack how their definition of happiness, identity, and fulfillment has shifted.
  • Rayna emphasizes wanting to be “in the mix, in the scene” in New York; Ashley values LA’s beauty, calm, and partnership-focused lifestyle, but realizes she craves the energy and challenge of New York, especially for her career.
  • “It’s like a different woman… in New York, I’m working all day, out every night, inspired.” – Ashley [31:19]
• They discuss their unique friendship (Ashley: “There’s nobody I’ll ever know better than you in my entire life.” [29:33]), the rarity of having such a close partnership, and balancing that against other priorities.
• Both reject the idea of having to fit a preset social mold (Ashley: “I think a lot of people at 42 would like my life...but I want more…I’m not done with my career.” [38:48])
• The cost and flexibility of bicoastal living, pros/cons of each, and how not having kids gives them freedom to pivot.

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The Millennial Midlife Crisis: Broader Themes & Listener Validation

[56:15 – 85:41]

Defining the Millennial Crisis

• The hosts reference recent articles (The Cut, NPR, Vox, NYT) exploring the “millennial midlife crisis” – the widespread feeling among people approaching 40 (and beyond) of disillusionment with career outcomes, homeownership, relationships, and societal expectations.
  • “I think a lot of people…are saying to themselves, ‘Is this it? The job, the partner, the city…is this what I planned for?’” – Rayna [56:48]
  • “The American dream…is really hard to achieve…being able to afford a home and two kids and in-state tuition to college is gone.” – Ashley [59:28]

Economic & Societal Pressures

• They explicitly discuss economic precarity, the impact of AI, wage stagnation, the caregiving “sandwich generation,” and political regression—especially for women.
  • “We were brought up in this hustle culture, conditioning, just work hard, head down and you will thrive. And now we have AI taking all these jobs.” – Ashley [59:26]
  • “Women being pushed out of the workforce…misogyny in this administration became mainstream.” – Ashley [61:54]
  • Quote from The Cut: “Time and time again, we’ve been locked out of basic capitalist promises like job security, home ownership, and any kind of comfortable retirement plan.” – [60:58]

The Illusion of a “Perfect Life”

• They highlight the dangers of comparison, question the definition of “having it all,” and stress that every life path has pitfalls.
  • “What’s a perfect life anyway? It’s an illusion.” – Ashley [65:29]
  • “There is no finish line. The goalpost is always moving.” – Rayna [67:51]
• They discuss friends and listeners who wanted marriage or children but found joy in other pursuits; they acknowledge both the reality of grief and the possibility of new dreams.

Validation for Listeners

• Noting that many listeners wrote in about not having money, career progress, or relationships they’d envisioned, the hosts stress that everyone feels “behind” sometimes.
  • “There’s no easy, wrap-it-up-in-a-bow answer to any of this. It’s important to acknowledge that other people feel like this.” – Rayna [69:30]
• They encourage embracing the unpredictability of life, taking risks when at rock bottom, and rejecting social expectations:
  • “If you are really at rock bottom, you really feel like you have nothing to lose. No better time to take a big swing. No better time to pivot. Fuck it.” – Ashley [69:56]
• On social pressure: “The beauty of this is that you do not have to give a shit about societal and cultural norms. They’re just out the window.” – Ashley [71:04]

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Coping Mechanisms and Everyday Joy

[76:16 – 83:23]

• The hosts and their listeners share how they’re channeling “midlife crisis” energy into hobbies and self-investment:
  • Sober curiosity & wellness (Peloton, Barry’s, running, strength training)
  • Book clubs, comedy, gardening, birdwatching, mahjong, fostering dogs, and DIY community events
  • “Get into stand-up comedy.” – Ashley [80:19]
  • “Wherever you can find joy. Honestly, I will make fun of it, but…go for it.” – Rayna [80:34]
• They joke about becoming wellness girlies and the epidemic of millennials searching for stimulation and meaning post-pandemic:
  • “I read 35 books last year. It was a cry for help.” – Rayna [46:16]
  • “If you really feel like this is a real rock bottom, there’s only one way to go, which is up. And fuck it, literally, fuck it.” – Ashley [85:41]

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Closing Thoughts & Encouragement

• The hosts circle back to community and friendship as the real anchors in uncertain times.
  • “I just think it’s important to validate how people are feeling and like, encouraging you to, like, find the joy in the community and the things, things that fill you up where you can. And I just hope… the pendulum is going to swing the other way.” – Ashley [83:24]
• Even as they share their own anxieties and fears for the future, they return again and again to mutual support, humor, hope, flexibility, and the power of choosing your own path—even if that means “crying more and giving fewer fucks.”
• “Life is really long. It’s constantly changing. And… you can always pivot and try something different… find the people that validate that.” – Rayna [84:51]

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “If you are really at a rock bottom, you really feel like you have nothing to lose. No better time to take a big swing. No better time to pivot. Fuck it.” – Ashley [00:00] & [69:56]
• “You’re the thing that anchors me here. You’re my family. You’re the closest relationship in my life.” – Rayna [26:57]
• “LA can be really lonely and really isolating…most of my social circle is me and a bunch of couples.” – Rayna [25:19]
• “It’s like a different woman…in New York, I’m working all day, out every night, inspired.” – Ashley [31:19]
• “At the beginning of the year…my only goals for the year were…to move back to New York.” – Rayna [24:36]
• “We were brought up in this hustle culture…now we have AI taking all these jobs.” – Ashley [59:26]
• “There’s no finish line. The goalpost is always moving.” – Rayna [67:51]
• “The beauty of this is that you do not have to give a shit about societal and cultural norms. They’re just out the window.” – Ashley [71:04]
• “If you really feel like this is a real rock bottom, there’s only one way to go…fuck it.” – Ashley [85:41]
• “I read 35 books last year. It was a cry for help.” – Rayna [46:16]

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Segment Timestamps At a Glance

• 00:28 – Host check-in & Kitchen Sink app discussion
• 06:06 – TikTok trends & influencer couples
• 08:24 – Celebrity sightings, LA life
• 16:15 – Photo etiquette, couples culture, friendship
• 24:27 – Major announcement: Rayna’s move
• 30:55 – Reflections on identity, fulfillment, friendship, bicoastal living
• 56:15 – Millennial midlife crisis: themes, economics, pressures
• 69:56 – Embracing risk, defying norms
• 76:16 – Hobbies, wellness, finding joy in midlife
• 83:24 – Closing encouragement, validation

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Final Takeaway

This episode offers a candid, comedic, and deeply human look at the millennial midlife crisis. Ashley and Rayna validate listeners’ anxieties and disappointments, while also celebrating the possibilities of new chapters, self-reinvention, and prioritizing joy and community on your own terms—whatever that may look like for you.

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Share this episode with a millennial friend who may need it!

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Transcript

[Ashley Hess]

If you are really at a rock bottom, you really feel like you have nothing to lose. No better time to take a big swing. No better time to pivot. Fuck it. This podcast is a Dear Media production.

[Raina Greenberg]

Hi guys.

[Ashley Hess]

Hi, guys.

[Raina Greenberg]

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta E. Welcome back.

[Ashley Hess]

How we feeling?

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm so tired. I'm so sleepy.

[Ashley Hess]

Don't start.

[Raina Greenberg]

Don't start on this because it gets contagious. No, you know, it can't be. I don't. My office hours are over at 4.

[Ashley Hess]

We always say you're sundowning. And I feel like this is like we need to treat this topic with care and respect today.

[Raina Greenberg]

I respect it, but it's 3:34 and my time to. My. My time to be done is 4.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, you guys, you got 20 in the morning.

[Raina Greenberg]

I tried to start work last night at 9:30 and I was like, oh, no, I don't have the energy.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, I caught something that needed to

[Raina Greenberg]

be restructured and I was like, I will do this at. In the morning. The text kept coming and I was like, I know, she's right. And I have to go to sleep. Like, you know, I'm always like, she's. She's working, so I should be working. But more importantly, I would like to be asleep.

[Ashley Hess]

So it was to prepare for an episode last night that I didn't really want to do last night on a Sunday night. But I had to wake up this morning as a Monday morning as we record and take Azul to the vet at 9am he's fine. He has this thing on his ear which he had to get like little needle prick and send it off. And he has to get meds.

[Raina Greenberg]

We all need a little prick sometimes.

[Ashley Hess]

So I had to. Yeah, exactly. And I just didn't have the morning to prep. So last night, like, Shashank was like, do you want to. What do you want to watch? Should we cook dinner? And I was like, I have to like do this shit and like prep for an episode.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's crazy. You don't look at your husband and just think playtime. I was like, she three years in.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, no, like, of course you mean like time to fucking.

[Raina Greenberg]

Just time to hang. I was like, she's working.

[Ashley Hess]

We hung all weekend.

[Raina Greenberg]

You did have a long hang weekend.

[Ashley Hess]

This did a lot. We didn't hang out with anybody but each other this weekend.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, that's how my life is all

[Ashley Hess]

the time, just by myself, just right as of anything going on, you guys. And if you could tell, she's just alone at home. Here in L. A All the time. You're like, literally never here. I have a friendship.

[Raina Greenberg]

I've never. I haven't had a minute to myself since I got back. Finally, everyone's out of my house.

[Ashley Hess]

But we did film some content yesterday and we had fun with it. But I'll just take a minute while we're here. So Shashank created an app called Kitchen Sink. It's so incredible. It's such a game changer. It generates recipes, so you just put in what you have or don't have in your kitchen and it will generate ingredient lists and recipes and three different recipes. Basic, classic and creative. And there's so many features in the premium. And any single recipe you find online, Instagram, blog, Facebook, TikTok, you can import it directly into the app. It's just so much fun. And we've talked about this before, but you guys are new around here. Kitchen Sink Recipe builder, you can find the app Store. And now on Android, that's what I wanted to plug. Cause people were like, where is it on Android? And it's available now. There's voice commands. Like, he has built so many cool things in this app. So check it out, you guys. And I help with some parts of it. And I see some of the Instagram messages and people just saying, like, I'm a busy mom and this has helped me so much. And, like, I have anxiety about what to cook for dinner and this has helped and everything.

[Raina Greenberg]

Now they get to watch videos of Shashank making it.

[Ashley Hess]

But so the stuff that performs the best on the social is him cooking. And he has done some without me. But when I'm involved, I'm. I like, direct and I work on the lighting and the sound and everything.

[Raina Greenberg]

Are you in any of the videos to blow in?

[Ashley Hess]

So yesterday was my first appearance.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

So he basically was going to make these things. This, like, rice paper, bacon, egg and cheese and. And he was like, an Ashley's gonna help. And you guys go watch it. It's on Kitchensyn app is the Instagram. And then it pans to me and. Did you not watch it?

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. You guys are an influencer couple.

[Ashley Hess]

But it's. It was very funny. I'm like in my red light scrolling.

[Raina Greenberg]

But is this the only time I

[Ashley Hess]

haven't been in his cooking video? I didn't think so. I'm letting him cook. Literally letting him cook, literally.

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean, I think it's just so nice. He wants to be on the videos too. That's not for everybody. He doesn't want to he actually doesn't. He just spins his wedding ring and he was like, hi.

[Ashley Hess]

But he's really eloquent and well spoken and he looks great on camera, but he hates to do it. Just want to tell you guys, we were at no risk of him becoming an influencer, but it was fun to spend a few hours doing that. But it really made me think that some couples do that all the time and I respect it. I mean, we had John and Alex on a few years ago. They're full time influencer couple. Kate and Chad do a lot together and I love their content, but I don't know if I could live that life. I think about it sometimes, like, could you live that life where your relationship is your business and you get to do whatever you want, you get to travel the world, but you have to like work together and create content. And I. It's just not for everybody and for the people that it works for, I think it's really wonderful.

[Raina Greenberg]

I guess I have no judgment about it at all. I think if that's how you like make your bag and people love to see you guys together on the Internet, then like, you should do that. Like, totally. I. In my dream world, when I'm on vacation with my partner, I'm not setting up a camera to make content and film these special moments. Like, that is truly my time off. And you and I are on camera all week, every week also. So, like when we're away, like, that's nice for me to not have to do that, but if that's what's fun for you guys and it's easy and it's second nature and you just bang it out. I mean, Kate Steinberg and her fiance were on our show a few months ago and like, I think it's so second nature for them to do that now. It doesn't. It would take me all day.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. But also if you're on a free trip, like our trip to Singapore, like if you're on a brand trip that you wouldn't go on otherwise, you're like, I'll figure out how to make it work.

[Raina Greenberg]

Also, I film everything I do anyways.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's just about editing the editing a real deal.

[Ashley Hess]

I know, but I was thinking yesterday I was like, I could do this with him once a week. I don't know about every day.

[Raina Greenberg]

A three hour cooking video.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, we had fun.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

And he edits and I get in there and I tweak and we like collaborate on it. But like, I don't know, it's like still fun.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's not.

[Ashley Hess]

This is our job.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's not your job.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, yeah. But what we want to do right now. Have you seen these, These TikTok trends where you say something in four different tones? No. Have you not seen it?

[Raina Greenberg]

No.

[Ashley Hess]

Enthusiastic, sarcastic. Am I missing flirty or supportive or something?

[Raina Greenberg]

And people, one sentence.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So the first one I saw said sit down and it was white mom, black mom, Indian mom, Hispanic mom. How much that was. These three black women that did it was like. So people have taken that. And the latest one, which I also saw Lena Dunham do, which I think Shashanka and I are going to do, is you shaved your bush and you say it. Supportive.

[Raina Greenberg]

Sarcastic.

[Ashley Hess]

Supportive. Disappointed. Sarcastic. Flirty. You haven't seen these. We don't do one.

[Raina Greenberg]

God damn it. I always sad when I don't see a TikTok trend. It's so sad for me when I try to explain to you a TikTok trend. You haven't seen it. Last summer my sister in law didn't know I'm a mommy and I was like, are you on the Internet?

[Ashley Hess]

That is so wild. So I just want to circle back. It started with wow, okay, so wow, okay. Supportive, disappointed, Sarcastic, Flirty.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's so funny.

[Ashley Hess]

And then I saw this couple do get the fuck out in all the different.

[Raina Greenberg]

How would you say flirty?

[Ashley Hess]

The fuck out.

[Raina Greenberg]

I used to touch her hair. Okay. No, I'm just like body language. Yeah, get the fuck out of here.

[Ashley Hess]

Like you can imagine saying that to someone.

[Raina Greenberg]

Get the fuck out.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, get the fuck out. And you watch like these three people or two people do it. However many. I've seen like three max. I don't think I've seen four people do it. You watch them like there's an actor in the group and like those three moms that did.

[Raina Greenberg]

You think it's going to be more talented between you two?

[Ashley Hess]

I think Shashank's going to come out swinging and like surprise everybody. Really?

[Raina Greenberg]

You don't think it's going to be you? I just think girls, you know, I

[Ashley Hess]

think I'm going to overthink it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I. I believe in you anyway.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, well, I'm going to show you some of my faves and you can.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm excited to see it.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, well, let's just thank our partners and we will get into it.

[Raina Greenberg]

All right. Thanks to Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order at Liquid Icon with code GGE and Aura Frames. Get $35 off select frames at or frames.com with code G and FP Movement. Go to fpmovement.com to shop their full line of activewear and workout gear.

[Ashley Hess]

And thank you to whatnot, download the app and score amazing deals, plus free shipping on your first order. And thank you to NOCD. If you're struggling with OCD, book a free 15 minute call at learn.nocd.com GGE

[Raina Greenberg]

I should tell you something funny.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. I had. What? You just farted and sneezed at the same time.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, that's never happened to me. And

[Ashley Hess]

you just. It just happened.

[Raina Greenberg]

You can't prove it.

[Ashley Hess]

I bet we have one of the cameras running. I'm gonna find the. I'm gonna find the receipt that. Raina just. Raina, that was a jump scare.

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't want you on blast for how gross you are.

[Ashley Hess]

No, because, like, I think that was

[Raina Greenberg]

brave that I told you that.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay? You didn't hear it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I've never.

[Ashley Hess]

I didn't hear it. You didn't have to tell me.

[Raina Greenberg]

You didn't have to tell everybody.

[Ashley Hess]

Listen, I want to talk about this because I really like when we never heard me fart. Never. Yeah, but people are in this. Like, why? It's just a bodily function camp. And I'm like, yeah. Do you fart in front of your friends? Be honest.

[Raina Greenberg]

I never. I don't do that. That was an extreme scenario. I sneezed at the same time.

[Ashley Hess]

Look, it's allergy season, okay? What are you going to tell me?

[Raina Greenberg]

I had a crazy celebrity sighting yesterday. Like, insane.

[Ashley Hess]

What.

[Raina Greenberg]

What's like, one of the craziest celebs you think you could see. It's a woman, and she's like a real A lister. Nicole, that level.

[Ashley Hess]

Ann.

[Raina Greenberg]

No. I'll give you one more gas than. I'll just tell you.

[Ashley Hess]

Actor.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's hard to narrow it down. I know, but it is. It's an actress. Not Goldie Hawn.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I.

[Raina Greenberg]

No.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. I saw her one time. Kate Hudson.

[Raina Greenberg]

Goldie's daughter, Kate Blonde.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, one more. One more. Connie Britton. I'm kidding. Imagine. We've seen her.

[Raina Greenberg]

We've seen her all the time.

[Ashley Hess]

Blonde. Meryl Streep.

[Raina Greenberg]

Younger.

[Ashley Hess]

I thought I had it.

[Raina Greenberg]

She's around our age. She's a little bit younger than us.

[Ashley Hess]

A Fanning.

[Raina Greenberg]

Older than a Fanning.

[Ashley Hess]

Older than a Fanning. If not Kate, who else is there? Give me a clue. I like this.

[Raina Greenberg]

She's in some of my. Actually, two of my favorite movies. She was cast as the most beautiful woman that there is. Hi, Barbie.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, Margot Robbie.

[Raina Greenberg]

I was sitting at what did Crudo e Nudo yesterday?

[Ashley Hess]

One of the best restaurants in la.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's on the street, and it's a dog town or dog town street. I mean, unbelievable.

[Ashley Hess]

One of my favorite meals I've had here.

[Raina Greenberg]

Me too. And they don't really have a menu. They just had a chalkboard. They're like, this is the fish we do today. And natty wine. Just. I'll be there. We sat outside and we were like a two top. And Melanie, there's a girl sitting next to us in all black. Like a black sundress, a black bucket hat. This guy comes up to the table and sits down with them. And the waitress, like, bypasses us and just goes right up to that guy. And she's like, what can I get you to? And I was like, these fucking people. Why do they get waited on before us? And Melanie goes, oh, my God, that's Margot Robbie. And she's sitting at the table, like, next to us. And I'm like, oh, my. I don't. I'm so uncomfortable. Like, that's like a level of Star Wuthering Heights, the Wolf of Wall Street Barbie. Like, these are my favorite movies.

[Ashley Hess]

No, that's huge.

[Raina Greenberg]

She's there with her husband and her child. They're sitting next to us just on the street on a Sunday afternoon. And I'm trying to have a normal experience. Like, I don't know how to have a normal experience. Sitting next to her. Margot Robbie's voice. She's coming out of Margot Robbie's voice. So beautiful. Yes. And Melanie's. I hear her. She's talking about movies and everything she's doing. And, like, Melanie cannot make eye contact with me. She is just staring at Margot Robbie. I'm like, can you please stop this? I'm trying to just talk to her like a normal person. She will not talk back to me. She's like. She's talking about movies she's gonna be in. I was like, she's looking at you in the face like she can hear you.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, Sabrina, first of all, why were you trying to talk when you could be eavesdropping on Margot Robbie? This is on you.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, this is. Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

Can you imagine being an earshot of someone like that? I'm. You better not fucking speak to me, Reina. You're being so annoying.

[Raina Greenberg]

She was just looking directly at Margot Robbie's face, being like. She's talking about movies right now. And I was.

[Ashley Hess]

I' Very quietly. And I'm listening. I'm sorry.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm with you. It's just. It was. She was so close to me. It was so uncomfortable. I mean, these tables are inches apart from the floor.

[Ashley Hess]

This is crazy. You were trying to have a normal conversation.

[Raina Greenberg]

I was.

[Ashley Hess]

I went, team Melanie.

[Raina Greenberg]

I didn't know what to do, so then I started taking photos. Melanie's like, you're being so awkward. You're making this so weird. I'm like, oh, I'm making this weird.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, you guys, it's just like daytime hours.

[Raina Greenberg]

Daytime. Just middle of the day. Well, I guess it's light out until, like, 30 now.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

She's so beautiful. She was so lovely to staff. And her husband. So her husband's hot. Her kids, cute.

[Ashley Hess]

Who's her husband?

[Raina Greenberg]

I think he's just a director.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't think I've ever sat next to somebody with that level of star power.

[Ashley Hess]

No, no, no, no. I just certainly haven't. We had a star sighting recently that was so random. We had Kelly Rizzo on the podcast.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

A couple weeks ago. A month, probably go at this point, May just flew by.

[Raina Greenberg]

Weird.

[Ashley Hess]

I knew that was gonna happen May 1st. I was like, May? It's gonna be June 1st tomorrow.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, but every May we are. I did 15 live shows in May.

[Ashley Hess]

We're never here in May. It just. It flew by. The next night, we went to the Benjamin, and did you treat us so well? It's our favorite place. Whatever. And as soon as we walked in, Shashank clocked Lori Laughlin at the bar.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, you did tell me this.

[Ashley Hess]

He's really good. I just don't. I've never had a sense for it. That night, we ate across from Goldie Hawn. What is it? The really romantic place in Santa Monica.

[Raina Greenberg]

Not Giorgio Baldi. Muse.

[Ashley Hess]

Muse, yes. Like, the table next to us is like, that's Goldie Hunt. Like, I'm just so bad about it. It's not on my radar. I can't believe we live in LA and celebrities just aren't.

[Raina Greenberg]

It was not on my radar at all.

[Ashley Hess]

But Lori Loughlin. I mean, so stunning. Unbelievably beautiful. And, like, where I sat, I got to have a direct line of vision. And everybody was being so cool. It was very obvious who she was. And when she got up to leave, people were all like, you know, said little, little things. And it was just so funny that we just recorded Kelly Rizzo. And then a week or two later, it was Bob Saget's birthday, and Kelly was with her, and I was like, I just saw her. And you know who we never Talked about huge celebrity was when we got burritos and Elijah. Elijah Wood. That's major.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay. I like a celebrity sighting.

[Ashley Hess]

They're near us.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, Elijah Wood was with his kids and his wife, and they were in line to sit next to Margot Robbie was, like, physically uncomfortable. I was just like, the star power is so big. I'm such a huge fan.

[Ashley Hess]

I can't believe she was, like, one of our favorite, like, local restaurants. That's one of. That's in our neighborhood.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yes. Just there, just being so beautiful. And you're like. I mean, her work is my. Some of my favorite movies of all time. Like, do you say it to them?

[Ashley Hess]

Like, I. I was just like, who

[Raina Greenberg]

gets to have a normal conversation next to her?

[Ashley Hess]

It's so crazy. The Elijah Wood thing was wild because he had to wait in that taco line like everybody else. He was. He. He rolled up in a pretty normal car. That's why we didn't really think it was him, because the car.

[Raina Greenberg]

The smoking gun was the car.

[Ashley Hess]

And then he just waited in line with his family, and we had to Google his wife to confirm it was him. And there he was. Wait in line. Wait only for 20 minutes for tacos. It's like a normal person, just like everybody else.

[Raina Greenberg]

What was that taco place called?

[Ashley Hess]

Sonora. Oh, Sonora Town.

[Raina Greenberg]

Unbelievable. Here in la.

[Ashley Hess]

I feel like you're unlocking a memory where I sat next to someone famous. I would have told you about it.

[Raina Greenberg]

You told me about Lori Laughlin. The only other really famous person I've ever sat next to was Jonah Hill at a restaurant. He was, like, really rude to me. Like, I said hi to him and he just started mocking me. It was crazy. Oh, this is like 15 years ago.

[Ashley Hess]

I once was at a bar with him. We played ping pong.

[Raina Greenberg]

He was really great.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, that balances it out.

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't know.

[Ashley Hess]

I just.

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't. I don't think I want to be that close to a celebrity. I don't think I'm, like, capable of functioning. Like, I'm fine if they're in the room, kind of. But, like, that level, I don't. It makes me unable to function because, like, to your point, how am I supposed to have a normal conversation around her? Yeah, I'm just supposed to talk about what? All the bags I just took to Goodwill. Like, I.

[Ashley Hess]

You're not. You guys just listen. But that patio was silent.

[Raina Greenberg]

It was.

[Ashley Hess]

Was it like people, like, trying to just respect you?

[Raina Greenberg]

Just don't. I mean, that street is just like bar after bar after Restaurant. There was a million people on the street. Like, you don't see a lot of big celebrities over there ever, because it's

[Ashley Hess]

just too many people, right? It's like, by Jameson, like, that's just. She's eating on the street, Margaret. You guys, she's eating like it's Covid. On the street.

[Raina Greenberg]

On the street. Just her baby and her husband out in the world.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, let me tell you what happened to us the other night at Din. We went to Yamashiro, which is, like, a famous place. Do you know about it?

[Raina Greenberg]

You sound like you're just short circuited.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, I said. I kept saying Yashimiro. And Shashank was like, it's Yamashiro. I got him, like, inverted. It's, like, so stunning. It's up in the hills. It's. Oh, do you not know it? It's. It's great. I mean, the food's overpriced. The food was great, but it is overpriced. You're paying for this view. It's an insane place. Like, you go up the hill, you're overlooking, you see the Hollywood sign, You're overlooking all of la. It's like an institution. It's been around forever, and it's like, a thing. It's really hard to get a res. I had the res for, like, three weeks now at this point. And so we went a whole operation. Touristy valet is kind of a nightmare. Like, you have to valet. It's up in the hills, but it's, like, really worth it for the view. And there's, like, a ledge that you're seated on that is, like, insane to sit there. Like, I requested it. And then we were able to sit, like, outside, but not on the ledge. Like, they were like, people are waiting hours for these tables. I was like, fine. All right. So we sat outside, right feet away. But the couple sitting by the ledge, across, like, the little walkway from us, I mean, the moon was between the two of them. It was insane. Like, their view was absolutely insane. So they wanted pictures, obviously. They're taking so many pictures, they, like, couldn't stop. So then they come over to me. Shashank was at the bathroom, and they were like, do you mind taking a photo for me? And I was like, oh, my God, I would love to she an Android. They take better photos. I love it. I love taking a photo on an Android. They've had better photo capabilities for years now anyway, so take the photo. I'm like, nailed it. Nailed it. Gave three options. Gave it back to them. Shoshan comes back in the bathroom. I was like, I took pictures for that couple. Like, they were just, like, so nice. Whatever. The server comes by and the server is taking photos of them. They had to do a redo in front of your face. I know. In front of your front of my face. The server is backing up to our table. Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you mind? The server is basically sitting on Shashank's lap to take a photo of this couple.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay. I am going to say I. I really, like, do not understand this because no one can take my photos besides you. I will have, like, a meltdown on vacation if I hand somebody my phone and there is 15ft of ground. Like, we have had. We've been on other trips where, like, I've asked actual influencers to take photos of me, and they'll take 30 photos, and they're all bad. And I'm like, I'd have to say to their face, I'm just gonna have Ashley take this.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, yes. And Raina, trust. The framing was perfect. I'm gonna give this woman the benefit of the doubt that she didn't like the way she looks.

[Raina Greenberg]

You know, I'm gonna victim blame on this one. This was her face and not your photo. Taking a Billy. I've literally just hit a picture. People's to their faces. I. I hate what you do.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm amazing. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's been a whole journey of our friendship where I have to step in and people feel bad and I'm like, rainus, do I maintenance? I'm like, no, you're just not as good as me.

[Raina Greenberg]

You're just bad.

[Ashley Hess]

And I'm here on site. Or they wanted to do it a little later in the phase of the moon, whatever the. But I was like, I ran. I'm sorry. If I had asked someone to get up and take a photo of us, and then it wasn't good enough for whatever reason. And then I asked the server. I would say something.

[Raina Greenberg]

I would say, I'm so sorry.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm so sorry I look so bad. I look so ugly.

[Raina Greenberg]

I would totally acknowledge it because she's five feet away. Some people in LA don't really have a sense of humor, and they won't say stuff like that to you.

[Ashley Hess]

Very few locals up in there. It felt so touristy. But anyway, still recommend, But I just thought that was a funny thing that happened. And then we just had to sit there.

[Raina Greenberg]

Right? You just have to sit there knowing that they're at. That they hate your work, that they don't like the art.

[Ashley Hess]

I could not help myself. I would be the most awkward person on the planet being, like, yelling across. I'm so sorry. It has nothing to do with you. I just, like, hated the way I looked. I didn't want to bother you again.

[Raina Greenberg]

Also, I probably would just sit there and pout and not. I would have either waited for you guys to leave or I just would have, like, dealt with the consequences of my actions. Like, I don't know if I had the balls to do something like that.

[Ashley Hess]

And you know what else? Whenever I take photos of people, friends,

[Raina Greenberg]

or strangers, say, check if you like it.

[Ashley Hess]

Check if you like it. Because I'm up. My man's in the bathroom.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm up. You've already disturbed me.

[Ashley Hess]

No, servers are trying to get through at the moment.

[Raina Greenberg]

I have time.

[Ashley Hess]

I love to do it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Totally these people up.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Also a bunch of times at this wedding we were at, somebody else took the photo. A couple photos of me solo, multiple times. Right before we went out to dinner the first night, right after the wedding ceremony, I was like, don't even. Don't intervene here. Ashley will do this. It's just crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, we've talked to this before.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, people will zoom in. They'll zoom out with a zoom in portrait on. I didn't ask you to do that.

[Ashley Hess]

It's crazy.

[Raina Greenberg]

Just use the camera the way I've handed it to you.

[Ashley Hess]

Why is the bottom third the ground?

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't understand.

[Ashley Hess]

What do you. What? Like, I don't understand. Do you have eyes?

[Raina Greenberg]

But that's at least something that's stupid at, like, framing. It's like, you don't need to change the camera settings. I got this. When somebody puts me on point five and I have not asked them to. Why do I look like this?

[Ashley Hess]

I look ridiculous. Really. So crazy.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm not small enough. I think you just could you call me fat? It was so funny.

[Ashley Hess]

We were in Dewey a couple of weeks ago, me and, like, my girlfriends and Matt was trying to get a photo of us, and he could not. He's too tall. It looks like it's an up angle like you used to do in, like, what to skinny angle in, like, the early 2000s. Like, it's like a millennial angle, honestly.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like a bobblehead.

[Ashley Hess]

And so he kept trying. I was like, matt, hold it at your chest. Like, hold it at six feet. Not six, seven. Six, seven. Like, just crazy. And like, finally the hostess came over, was like, do you want me to do this? Poor Matt. He wasn't doing Anything wrong? It just. He couldn't get the angle right. Being that tall.

[Raina Greenberg]

Have you ever seen Jeremy take a photo of me? He like. He like, hunches down. It looks crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

Jeremy's laying on the ground.

[Raina Greenberg]

He can't take a photo of me from a normal angle. He's 6 4.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I know. It's tough. It's so tough to be a tall man.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, my gosh. So awful.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, we're just gonna take a quick break and then we have some big news for you guys. But I am gonna tell you about no cd. So everyone has doubts or anxieties. We're gonna talk about doubts and anxieties today. But everyone has doubts or anxieties about their relationship from time to time. But for some people, those thoughts and anxieties feel all consuming and impossible to move on from. And these symptoms can look like creating mental lists of your partner's pros and cons while panicking about whether you made the wrong choice. Constantly researching signs you're with the right person online. Having a random dream about spending your life with another person and feeling guilty and terrified about what that might mean. And asking your partner over and over again if they're really happy with you, even though they already said yes many times. So just kind of obsessing over those answers and that type of validation. So this can be relationship ocd, and they can seem like overthinking or just commitment issues, but they actually can be signs of relationship ocd. And it is a serious condition where these intrusive thoughts get stuck on repeat. But it is really treatable. It is the most treatable mental health condition when you get the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs ERP therapy, which is exposure and response prevention, which is proven to be the most effective treatment. Regular talk therapy is not recommended. It can actually make OCD worse. So that is why we recommend nocd. NOCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed therapists specialize in erp, which is that exposure and response prevention. So you can get 100% virtual therapy covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. If any of this sounds like you or someone you care about, visit nocd.com and book a free 15 minute call with their team to learn more about how NOCD can help. That's N O c d Com and

[Raina Greenberg]

telling you guys about FP movement. So this is a brand that came out of free people and I love Free people so much. And it's like, no shock that their activewear brand is unbelievable. So FP movement, you know, I think a lot about how to look put together in the summer because you're just kind of sweatier and there's like, just. You want to wear less clothing, so there's like, less things to put on to look really, like, coordinated and like, FP movement. Like, I just, I love their sets. And you always look cute, like at an airport or running errands or just walking around the city. And Ashley and I are obsessed with the hotshot crossover set. And I've bought so many of their sets, and when I find one that I love, I buy it in every color too. They also have great. These coastline hiking shorts, these carpe EDM shorts. I mean, if you just want, like, really cute, stylish of the season essentials, they have all of that. And the. The material is great. It's high end. There's so much to choose from.

[Ashley Hess]

The best bike shorts or workout shorts, like tight spandex shorts, whatever you guys want to call them. I'm obsessed. They make the best I've ever found. I've worn, like, every single brand. I just love a short like that. And we love their bags that just this comfy. I bought it as a carry on recently when I traveled. And again, it's just, like, fun with these tanks. The T shirts. Just love the whole look.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. So this activewear brand, I mean, we just absolutely love it. We love it for summer, we love it for every season, but really for summer. And you can shop the full line of activewear workout [e-mail] GGE okay, so

[Ashley Hess]

let's talk about something major.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, I'm excited to announce I am moving back to New York. I have teased this a lot.

[Ashley Hess]

Shocker. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean, I've basically been, like, pretty as much bicoastal as anybody can be since, like, August. I've run off there anytime I. Anytime I can. And so I signed a lease. I signed a lease. Actually, this really, like, crazy moment in my life because at the beginning of the year when we do our New Year's episode, I said my only goals for the year were to do this tour and to move back to New York. And the morning of my last show of the first leg of this tour in Pittsburgh, I signed my lease. And so they coincided, which was crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

Wow, that's really so, so special.

[Raina Greenberg]

And I am just. I'm so proud of the tour. And so I'll be moving back to New York, and I lived there for 15 years and I lived in LA for three and a half years. And isn't that crazy that we've lived here for so long?

[Ashley Hess]

It feels crazy to me. Like, I can't believe we've been here three and a half years.

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't. Where's the time?

[Ashley Hess]

It's supposed to be three months.

[Raina Greenberg]

Where did the time go? Yeah, and L A served a really special place in my life. And I'm not leaving L A because I don't love L A, I love so much about L A, and especially now that I'm leaving, I feel even more nostalgic about it. Like, I spent all weekend being like, the weather and the air and the flowers and the people and the food and like, I love this city so much. And it's not a rejection of this city, it's just that, like, my best friends in the world, my community, my family, besides you and Shashank are there and you and I had this really big community of friends in LA for a long time and a lot of people just started to leave and move and, you know, there's a lot of reasons why I want to move back. You and I are just from the East Coast. I really miss it. My family's on the east coast and I don't really want to date in LA and I'm single and I think about being like 40 and single and what city can you live in where there's a large community of people that are 40 and single? And LA is. It can be really lonely and really isolating. And I do feel that most of my social circle is me and a bunch of couples. I'm always out with a bunch of couples and I love our friends, partners, but I don't really want to socialize like that all the time. I don't want to feel like I never have like a one on one interaction with a girlfriend. And that is, I think in New York there's a lot of people in their 40s that are single and I want that, I want to be around them.

[Ashley Hess]

50 is single. Like, it just doesn't. You never lose. I don't think you ever can't find that community.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, and there's a lot of giving up. Listen, I love the space here and I love the weather and I love the ease of life. And I bought this house and it's the thing I've been so proud of in my life and I put all this money into renovating it and I don't know, I don't want to say I made a mistake because I made a decision that. That honored where I was at my time in my life then. But I just. I feel like every fiber of my being, like, called back to New York.

[Ashley Hess]

Totally.

[Raina Greenberg]

And, you know, I think people are just like, well, what does that mean for your friendship? And what does that mean for the podcast? And, I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would have moved a year ago. Like, you're the thing that anchors me here. You're my family. You're the closest relationship in my life. So it's a hard decision without you, you know, and you can't stay in one place for one person forever. And you and I are always back and forth to New York, and it just. It feels like my home. And that's where I feel, like, really called to be right now. And so that's it. I mean, that's. Those are all my thoughts and feelings about it. I never thought I'd move back there necessarily. When we moved here, I was like,

[Ashley Hess]

oh, my God, you really rejected it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I was like, I don't want to be in New York. I mean, I needed, like, I really needed a break. I feel like you and I were touring so much, and it made me feel so happy to land here. And New York's a hard life. It's bad weather. It's a harder life all around. And it is so expensive. It's unfathomable. The spaces are small. It's cold. It's hard to do everything. It's more expensive. The Ubers are more expensive, you know, and. I don't know, I could always change my mind in a year and a half.

[Ashley Hess]

I hope I don't.

[Raina Greenberg]

But this is where I feel that I want to be in my life right now. And you're the hardest thing. You're the only thing that's hard to leave. But I'm really excited.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I'm excited for you. The place is gorgeous, and, you know, it's a neighborhood you want to be in. And, you know, we have made these decisions together over the past eight plus years. So, like, I don't know, like, I don't. I didn't know how I was going to, like, react talking about this on the podcast. Like, it has been, like, a little destabilizing, like, for, like, Raina to move away and, like, to have to figure out what the podcast looks like. And we have said, not that it's going anywhere, you guys, like, literally what it looks like. Literally. If it's in person, virtual, it's Never. That nothing's gonna change in terms of the set might change or whatever. A few episodes here and there might be virtual. Whatever. Like, we want to do this the best we can. It, like, really is our priority. It's our. It's our career. But we kind of decided. I don't know. I don't know the first time we had this conversation that, like, if someone wanted to move or be somewhere else, that they could do that. And, like, we really probably wouldn't have said that to each other. Year three, year four, year five. I mean, you know, we want to be together. We're not just business partners, but we're best friends, and we're like family. And of course we want to be in the same city for so many reasons. For all the reasons. But if someone wants to make a change, like, they can do that. You know, it was never really that I was going to go live in Boston, but, like, if I decided I wanted to, Raina would have understood, and we would have figured it out. And I think we just hit this point where, like, we've been doing this so long, we can't be tethered to somewhere where someone isn't 100% happy because of a podcast that we can do from afar.

[Raina Greenberg]

You know, I've had friends that have said to me, like, you can't stay somewhere just for a job. And it's like, this is not a job. This is the most important thing in my life. This is our company. This audience is the most important thing. It's the thing I'll be the most proud of in my entire life. And there's nobody I'll ever know better than you and my entire entire life. And I. I would never make decisions without you. You have another person to think about also, you know, I can't make decisions for Shashank, and vice versa. I don't know. It's been. It's been really hard, and I. If I didn't feel so lonely, if I didn't feel just lonely all the time, it would be different.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, I hate to hear you say that. I hope people don't interpret that as, like, you and I don't, like, spend time together and do stuff, but, I mean, I want to validate your experience. Experience. And Rayna and I, of course, do. We hang out almost every day. Like, we do plenty of things, like, solo, but, like, the group stuff is. Is, like, mostly all couples. And when she has said, I don't have one single friend left, like, one single girlfriend, she's not exaggerating. You know, it really turned. It. It really turned into that. And, like, when. And Britney wasn't single, but, like, she was long distance. You know, she was here and available to hang. And then when she left, it was like the final nail in the coffin. Like, we truly have, like, no one left. And we can, of course you can always make new friends. But we have a million friends. Like, I can barely keep up with all my friends. They just stopped being here.

[Raina Greenberg]

Wait, let me rewind something. I don't feel lonely because of you. That's not. I know you can't make one person your whole life, and you can't. And I would love to show up at your house all the time. And, like, you and Shashank have never made me feel like a third wheel in ever in my life. Like, I think about Shashank. That's my friend. I love him. Like, I was thinking about, like, doing a going away party with, like, the girls, and I was like, there's nothing in the world I would ever do without including him. You can't have, like, one person.

[Ashley Hess]

Of course. Of course. And, like, you know, that's the beauty of being, like, adults in our 40s and being evolved. And, like, I, you know, I'm trying to decide if it's, like, triggering anything in me to feel like you're, like, leaving me. But, like, I. It changed our life too, you know, Like, I got married, we moved here, and we were, like, single, and we had all these friends, and, like, our life just kind of changed. And you were nothing but, like, supportive and accepting of the changes in my life. And I can't deny that you are happier in New York. I mean, it would be crazy for me to pressure or guilt you in any way. And, like, you know, we've had this last few months of, like, Reina really knowing that she wants to move. I mean, she said it early in the year, and I think the writing was clearly on the wall last year, too, but especially recently, where it's like, it's happening. Little intel. She did send Elise before that. She said, I changed my mind. She changed her mind. It's just been these conversations. I think we mentioned this before in the podcast that, like, everyone asking, like, breathing down our neck just in that they want to know and they're our friends and we don't have answers. And, like, the answers are still a little unclear, but, like, all I've known is that, like, I have to let this happen, even if it is gonna be painful or even if it's gonna affect some of our job in some way. And so it's just, like, there was no other solution is to, like, obviously be 100% on board with you moving away. And I love it here. I, like, love the nature and the beauty. And I feel like Krista Williams said something on our podcast when she. They came on about how much she values beauty. And I'm, like, I'm the same way. Like, my surroundings, not in a person, you know, but, like, I love that. We took a walk this weekend in Santa Monica in the neighborhood we live in. That felt like paradise. Like, it feels like you're in Portugal or, like, the south of France. I mean, you're an hour away. You're like, how is this America? Like, California is a dream. Louisiana Is a dream. I sleep better here. Azul's happier here. Not right now, but, like, I. And more relaxed. I, like, have a better quality of life. It's undeniable. I love the food. I think it's the best in the country. Like, I can go read a book on the beach anytime I want. Like, things are easier. Life is easier, and it is really beautiful. And I have friends here, of course, still. They're all couples, like we said. And I have social activities that fulfill me, but they're really getting, like, fewer, fewer and farther between. And I am an extrovert, like, through and through. Like, I want to feel like I'm in the mix. I'm in the scene. Like, it's really insane how different my life is in New York than here. They're different lives. It's like a different woman. It's like someone that is working all day out every night just inspired the energy. I'm sharper there. I don't even sleep as much. And I still somehow, like, my brain works differently. And I come here, and we're just, like, chilling. And, like, I love my life here with Shashank. Like, I think it is a really special place to be if you're in a partnership. Like, just the weekend trips we take and the restaurants we try, and you're. You're in the car a lot more, but you're with somebody, and traffic doesn't bother you as much when you're, like, you know, listen to music with your partner. And I have loved being here with him and getting married here and, like, all the adventures that we've taken. But I think I have decided that, like, this is the place I, like, want to escape to and, like, not live in anymore. And I do feel like we will probably move back in. Like, I will probably miss LA more than I ever miss New York in these last three and a half years. I've said that since day one. If I move away from here, I will miss it so much. Like all the things you mentioned when New York is so hard, I will just be like, oh my God, the dream that we lived in la, I will miss it so much. But I just think I want to escape here and visit here and live in New York where I'm stimulated and fulfilled and my family is closer and the family. The final thing that I'll say is like when I really think about my life and like what matters to me and what I value at this age and in this stage is rain and rain only. But I always say I want to be in New York during the week and LA on the weekends. And I say that because I want to go, go, go and be working and motivated and out during the week in New York. And then on the weekends I would love to take a hike and be in a place that I'm in awe of with my friends or my husband or my dog. And you know, I think that giving that up will be the hardest part. And I think we'll spend more time upstate New York or in the Hamptons or in Delaware with my family. I mean being close to my family is like gonna be such a game changer and having the holiday season and Shashanka and I not having to navigate our families and like we can be in Boston and in Delaware in the same day.

[Raina Greenberg]

I just, I really did think about like driving outta your parents house for Christmas. Like getting there from LA has been awful the last year.

[Ashley Hess]

It's been tough.

[Raina Greenberg]

I wouldn't give it up for the world, but it's really hard.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I mean I'll miss those Philly American flight attendants every day because we won't be flying that as much.

[Raina Greenberg]

We can stop at the airport if you miss them.

[Ashley Hess]

But I just, I feel like I had this epiphany this weekend where we did all these like beautiful things like in the span of five hours. I feel like just like the way we were living, we're in this hotel, felt like we were in France. We went and walked along the water, we went and had like dinner up on that hillside. I'm just like not seeing stimulated enough.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, that's how I feel. I mean I thought for many years I always said to myself, where do we want to live and where do we want a vacation? And I've thought for so long I want to live in la. I want to be. I want to, you know, vacation in New York and run around. And to your point, I'm a very different person in New York. I just run around all day long. I have an endless capacity to go on other people's podcasts and record our podcast and go to a meeting and then I come home and I shower and I go out to dinner with our friends. And it's not that I don't meet really interesting people in la. I just don't do that much stuff in la. And so when I go out in New York, I'm always around people that I'm amazed by what they're creating and doing and it's easier to get to those things. I walk to places. I walk seven, eight miles a day. I don't think about it, Like, I'm always just like, doing a lot. And I think at this age that's what I want to be doing. And I can always move back here. And I also don't have a partner. I wish things were different. Like, I wish I had this partner and a big social group, like, of friends here. And I would probably enjoy being here a little bit more. I just. At 4 o', clock, my day ends sometimes and I'm just like, well, I guess that's it. Like, there's so much more I would do here, but like to get in the car and drive for an hour and a half to an event because you need to be there at 7:30pm

[Ashley Hess]

Like, I don't want to.

[Raina Greenberg]

That makes me miserable. And I want to run around on foot or by subway. And I just feel like. I feel like my community is in New York. And it's interesting, I was thinking about you versus everybody else because I was like, besides you, everybody else that I think of as family, my best friends in the world are all in New York.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

But I think about it as like an electoral college. Like you're Texas or California. Like, you get the most votes.

[Ashley Hess]

That's so funny. I was thinking I carry the most weight.

[Raina Greenberg]

You do. Like, I was thinking, like, I just, every time I leave New York, especially the last few months, I, like, I miss it in my body. I feel sick leaving. I don't want to. I, like, run around with all these people that I love so much. But, like, then there's you. And like, you're the anchor to this. But, like, you should be. And you have more votes than everybody else. And our business is more important to me than most other things. And I feel like I fought this for a whole year and I Don't want to feel like this, but, like, you know, I hope you will come and I hope you will be there. And there's nothing more important to me than me. I don't feel flippantly about not being with you. Like, this is a really hard decision for me to come to.

[Ashley Hess]

This is a real picture of also just how we're all built so different. Because I think a lot of people at 42 would really like my life, that it is in LA or wherever it may be where you're married, you cook dinner every night. You kind of chill. Like, things are happy and easy and it is enough for me. It's not that, but it's just like, I want more. Like, I'm not done with my career. I want to do so much more. And so that's, like, a large part of it. I think a lot of people want to slow down at this age and chill, and they should, of course. And we'll talk about that today.

[Raina Greenberg]

I just think these, you and I are. Aren't there. And I do think we miss out on media opportunities sometimes just because everything's just more accessible to us in New York. And I had the most perfect day yesterday. Like, Melanie was staying with me. We woke up in the morning. It was beautiful. It was Sunny. It was 75 degrees. I walked to a coffee shop.

[Ashley Hess]

We walked a great white.

[Raina Greenberg]

We walked along the beach. I got in my car and ran errands. And, like, my life was really easy because the weather was nice. I could take my car to do it. And then we, like, walked around. We saw Margot Robbie. We had, like, a great, like, late lunch. And I felt healthy and good, and the waiters were nice to me, and the food was good and it was easy to get into places. And I will miss all of those things.

[Ashley Hess]

I can't think about being in New York in February and thinking about what life would be like here. It's really hard to think about. Like, I don't want to do that, you know? And, like, I don't want to come across. Like, I have unlimited funds, and we can just be bop back and forth. And Shashank has a different type of job. He doesn't have that kind of flexibility. Like, people, like, be bi. Coastal, you know? And, like, my dream life is to live in la. January through April. I don't really know what it's gonna be like to be there in the middle of winter with a partner in a small and a dog in a smaller space. This past winter was hell on earth in the Northeast Yeah, it was pretty bad. And like, we will have to navigate that, all of us as a family, because it really. The thought of it, like, sends a chill down my spine.

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean, that's the nice thing that you and I have not and will not, I'm sure. I don't think I will at this point have children. And, you know, we are a little more flexible and fluid. And if we decide that we want to go be in LA for a little bit in the winter, then we can decide that, like, that is the nice thing about not having kids. I don't have to think about somebody. I can be as selfish as I want.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And it's so much less expensive to visit LA than New York. Like, it all comes out in the wash. Cause you're paying more to live in New York, but you're paying less to visit la. Where? La. If you really want to be going back and forth, you're paying less to live here. It depends on what you got going on. And then paying more to visit New York, I mean, New York is really difficult to visit. Like, the Airbnbs, I don't even understand if they're legal or not. Whatever, they're few and far between. That's not really an option. Hotels are so astronomical. They're just getting worse. Like, it's really difficult to go there. And the hotel rooms are small at that. You know, la, you really can come out here and spend a week or a month in an Airbnb at, like, a rate that you could never even dream of in New York. And so that's played into it too. Of like, it is, this is the cheaper place to visit. And if we spend a winter here or whatever it may be. But, you know, I want to be, like, aware of, like, I don't want to come across. Like, I just can Jetson around. And it's just. I'm just talking through it and, like, the way I want my life to look. And, you know, we have been able to build a life where we have flexibility in that way. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

So I. I'm really excited. I was hoping that you would say that you want to move, and I've been, like, very hands off with you about it. And I've never wanted to pressure you to make a decision. I, like, I honor the fact that you have another person to think about also. It's not just, like, me and us and our business. And so I've just been like, whatever you decide, we will figure it out for the business. And I feel really excited for this next chapter. And, like, I hope you're going to come. And I'm just excited to be back in New York. I want to do comedy in New York. I just want to, like, run around and do more. And I just, I feel really at home there and I'm excited to go back. And I don't know, I never thought that, like, I would change my mind again in three and a half years and go move all these across country moves. Like, it's, it's exhausting. It's a lot. I'll figure out what to do with my house. But I am really excited and hopeful and I hope you guys come.

[Ashley Hess]

So funny the way you say it. I hope you guys come.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, you and I like to change our minds.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

So we'll see.

[Ashley Hess]

I don't know. I mean, it's, it's really the weather, thinking about the winter and, like, how much more difficult some things are, is. It's stressing me out. So we will figure it out.

[Raina Greenberg]

So I hold space energetically for you to change your mind. I like to change our mind.

[Ashley Hess]

But I don't think. I really feel like this past weekend I just had this, like, epiphany of.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's so interesting. I thought you were going to say the opposite, that you were like, I had such a beautiful weekend and I could never possibly leave this.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, that's weird how that works. You know, I think that's part of it. It's like to have that beautiful of a weekend. Truly, all the things, like, Saturday was like, out of a movie. We start every Saturday with our farmer's market. I will, like, miss that. I'll probably wake up every Saturday morning and cry. We'll move back to New York. Truly. I will, I will do it. No, we'll go to the one in Brooklyn. But just like, to have that kind of weekend and still feel like it's not fulfilling and it's not, like, stimulating. Like, I do have to tell myself, like, in three and a half years, we've done a lot. We've seen soaked up a lot of the beauty. And I don't need to go to the beach like I used to. I should be staying out of the sun for my skin at this age. You know, we all should be, you know, wearing sunscreen, doing all the things. So it's like I'm trying to do the most that I can. And I, I. We've talked about if, when we move back, we will do a road trip up to San Francisco and come back down and do Carmel by the Sea and Big sur and, like, really check that box. And just knowing that, like, we can always come back here. And the beauty of L. A. Is that, like, all of our friends have spare bedrooms. Like, I will come back and, like, stay with Taylor, like, because it's just, like, that's the luxury that you have in L. A. As opposed to when all the friends in New York that, like, stay in my spare bedroom.

[Raina Greenberg]

I can't wait for no one to stay with me ever again.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, so true. Excited. When we moved here, I always said I didn't know anyone who moved from New York to L. A and went back. I was like, it doesn't happen because your quality of life improves so drastically. You can never go back. And then it started to fucking happen.

[Raina Greenberg]

We have so many friends moving back there, it's insane.

[Ashley Hess]

I can't. And, like, bath or there to begin with or, like, it's wild. Like, yes. Some people who have lived there prior and Amy Chan for an example, and then other people.

[Raina Greenberg]

Bristow. Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Kaitlyn Bristow just moved there.

[Raina Greenberg]

Brittany. Like, we have so many girlfriends that are moving.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So I. I just, like, can't deny anymore that, like, what fills my cup as a true extrovert and a true, like, social boss babe, is I need to be there.

[Raina Greenberg]

I knew you would come around midnight. I just. I knew you would, like, run around so much and be like, I'm back. It's just we are really different people when we're there. I mean, I just. I love taking my walk at the end of the day here. I go to the beach like, three times a week. I love walking around Abbot Kinney. I love going to Erewhon. I'll lose my mind the first day I wake up hungry. And I can't go to Erewhon. We went to Erewhon twice. I've been to Erewhon two times a day the last three days. Like, I. There's a lot that I love about this slow life, but I am bored to fucking tears. I can't do it anymore.

[Ashley Hess]

I always hesitate to use the word bored.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm bored.

[Ashley Hess]

I always say only boring people get bored. Because you can always be doing something. You can read. I've done all the things, but, like, I feel unstimulated is the word I've been using because, like, I'll dabble with bored. But I really, you know, I'm so strong on this. Like, you're not bored. Read a book, you know?

[Raina Greenberg]

But I read 35 books last year. It was a cry for help. Ashley. I'VE watched every show I've taken every. You remember me last summer, do you? Many trips I booked last summer. I was going to Calamigo's Ranch and Ojai and Santa Barbara, and then I went down to Catalina. And you were like, are you good? Like, I'm not. I've done all the things. I got nothing left.

[Ashley Hess]

But you were saying, like, you probably wouldn't have gotten to this point where you wrote this comedy and never. I don't know. I don't really know. I wish if I could go back, I just think you wouldn't have done it. I just think. I don't know if you ever would have gotten this urge to just start doing comedy in New York. Like, I think you would have been stimulated enough with other stuff. Like, you really had to hit this point of, like, what am I doing? What's next? And I think that was the best thing to come out of it of, like, the. The darker days of you living here. Like, you know, we didn't feel like this in 2023 or really even 2024. We felt like we had a lot going on. We had a lot of friends. And for you, you know, it was like, the busiest year of my life in 2025. And you felt like you didn't have as much going on, and that's what was the catalyst for the. For doing standup. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

And I think you should be grateful for things that made you happy. I'm very grateful for my time here. And, yes, I never would have been bored enough, but I just. I wouldn't have had the time in New York to do this. I wouldn't have thought to do it. I would have, like, drank it out or fucked it out or whatever. Like, I would have just done a lot more running around. I wouldn't have been like, okay, I have three days to be totally alone. And I can write and I can practice this and I can plan this and travel and tour. Like, we didn't really have anything going on this winter, so I was like, great, I'll spend four months going to all these cities. And it's. I mean, besides girls Getty, it's the greatest accomplishment of my life to wake up at 40 and decide that you're gonna, like, tackle this thing all on your own. And, like, I have never in eight and a half years, said, like, me, mine, my thing, my travel. I've had nothing that's just specifically mine. And I love doing stuff together, but

[Ashley Hess]

professionally, everybody should have their own. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

And I have been fine existing like, that. I feel like I've never understood how you did so much. Like, we ran the sex toy company and we were on tour. We do girls gotta eat twice a week. I've never had the real desire to go do another job. I've never understood how you did it, but to finally, for the first time in, like, almost a decade, to be able to say, like, my thing, my tour, my schedule, like, it's been really fulfilling and gratifying, and I never would have had the impetus to do that. So, yeah, those good things that came from it.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's what we're doing.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, so, you know, we know you guys are interested in, like, the minutia and the logistics. Like, we're shutting this studio down over the next few weeks as we figure out Raina's move. And so take it, take it in. There will be a few more episodes here, and, you know, I think it's fun to see where we're gonna be over the next couple months.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's fun for us, too.

[Ashley Hess]

It's gonna be a different set, and when it's virtual, it will look and sound as best as possible. We're gonna make sure we improve everything that we can. And it's just. There's really not gonna be any change in the podcast. Right. I think it's funny that people are like, what's gonna happen to the podcast? Like, what do you mean? We were apart for three months in 2020.

[Raina Greenberg]

We know what we're doing with way less tech.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, right.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's good stuff.

[Ashley Hess]

Exactly.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's not that I'm not really excited for you to move there. I just have never wanted to put pressure on you, and I've never wanted you to feel like I am going to guilt you and another person into that decision.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. I mean, again, this is new for me, too, to have to consider Shashank's life, you know, another person's life. Like, you and I have always been on the same page. Like, we haven't really had to negotiate or compromise. I was the one to lead the charge in la, and then you were, like, fully on board. And so it's not that Shashank doesn't want to leave here, but he really likes it here too, and he was very unsure about that at first. Like, I think he moved here in 2025, January, and end of January, and was just like, I don't know. And it's really grown on him, and he has a great quality of life, too, and we're really happy here, but I think we both have known that our hearts are always on the east Coast.

[Raina Greenberg]

He's an east coast guy. We're east coast guys.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

And I just think how excited I am to like hop I can go visit my brother in London. Like I can take a weekend trip to London if I have to. And like, I miss that baby so much and I just like to be a 13 hour flight away from them. It just sucks.

[Ashley Hess]

I know. I mean, we'll talk today about like things that really bring you joy and that are valuable to you and the most important things in your life. And my nephews are at the top of the list and they're just growing up before my eyes and I really want to see them every month.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

If not more. And I can't do that currently. You know, I can, but it's just like it's been not as feasible. So I really am like looking forward to that because that's what really, like that's the happiest. I am like we were in the middle of conversation earlier and they FaceTimed me. I was like, I got to answer. It's like a drug. It's like they really like keep me going. Like they my darkest of days. Like when they FaceTime me, I'm just immediately happy.

[Raina Greenberg]

I know they're the best. I love them. Okay, well, that's the tea you guys, so stay tuned. When is this drop? The seventh Miley starts next week, so.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh my God, that's so crazy. Wow. Okay. All right.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, speaking of family and being away from family, I don't live in the same city as my father, so Father's day is coming up. It's important to me to get him something that is very beautiful and sentimental. And I'm going to recommend something for you guys that we have gotten for our whole family, which is Aura frames. So they're these digital photo frames. My brother and sister in law have gifted them to the whole family. And you can upload photos virtually. There's an app that we all share together so we can all log in and send videos and photos. It updates instantaneously. And like when you just like get that photo, it's just like such a rush for me to like see the photos of my family. And the actual matting on the frame was really beautiful. So you can add as many photos to the warframe or videos as you want. You can, like I said, add it from anywhere from the app. You can add messages to it. The gift packaging is so beautiful. It's like really high end and beautifully done. So if you're gonna gift this especially to your father for Father's Day, you can share the photos and videos effortlessly. So, like, you'll download the Aura frame app and just send everything directly to the frames. We set them up for my brothers in laws and my parents as well. So it was named number one by Wirecarter. You can save now by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $35 off select frames with code GGE. That's a U R A frames.com promo code GGE. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, and I'm telling you guys about a new partner called Whatnot. You guys have got to check this out, okay? For a few reasons. One, it is so fun, such a fun way to shop. And two, this is a great way to be that friend, to be that bitch that always has the cutest outfits. I mean, you know, how many times are you scrolling social media? You're like, why do they just. These girls look so cute. Like they just really like sets. Yeah, exactly. Whatever they have going on. So now you can shop from their closet and you can be one of those girls. So that's what it's like on Whatnot. So it is a live shopping platform where you can buy items across beauty, apparel, bags, jewelry and more. So there's these fast paced auctions, incredible flash sales, live show giveaways, and so much more. And you can search the marketplace to find the exact product you're looking for really close up, like views of what you're going to buy or you're thinking of buying. And there is these incredible deals. So it's a place where you get your favorite items and discover new ones without paying full price. You're never going to pay full price. The largest live shopping marketplace in the country, allowing users to enjoy a trusted shopping experience in a real time format. There are over 10,000 fashion, beauty and bag sellers on Whatnot. So you can always find something that you want. And like I said, you almost never pay full price. You're going to shop these incredible name brands, but without the retail prices. And it's this community driven experience. Experience real time engagement among like minded shoppers. I just think this is so fun. I mean especially if like shopping with your friends is like a pastime. If you're a millennial, it certainly is. It's just kind of like going to the mall, but you're doing it on the app and you can connect with passionate sellers to discover unbeatable deals. So you guys can download Whatnot and again, get in the app and that's where you're gonna find all this happening. Shop those name brands without the retail prices and honestly, like just have fun doing it. So I think you guys are really going to love it. Get these vintage bags. You can get Lululemon leggings for cheap, like whatever you guys want. Full makeup haul. Get all of that again for these incredible prices. So download the whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search w h a t n o t whatnot in the app store and start scoring amazing deals.

[Raina Greenberg]

This show is sponsored by Liquid Ivy. You guys know that Ash and I have been fans of this brand for so long. Ashley put Liquid IV in her wedding gift bags. I would take them on trips with me. It is the best way to just stay hydrated and it's an off campus.

[Ashley Hess]

Did you notice you? Yes.

[Raina Greenberg]

Did you get to that part?

[Ashley Hess]

I did.

[Raina Greenberg]

I was like, they would have you really sponsored this show?

[Ashley Hess]

But it like it made so much sense and then it also was just like it's so of the times that they would have like a brand deal like that. Anyway, so anyway, I just love to see it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I've been meaning to mention that too actually.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes. Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

You just take one stick, you put it in 16 ounces of water and it'll hydrate you faster than water alone. So if you're feeling just like lethargic, low energy, you need a to pick me up in the morning or in the afternoon like I do right now. It is really so perfect. It helps you to retain hydration for four hours. It's science backed. There's eight essential vitamins and nutrients and it's always non gmo. It's vegan, it's gluten free. The taste is fantastic, you guys. And now they have ring Pop Liquid IV's new hydration multiplier, sugar free ring Pop. It's inspired by Ring Pop cherry. So it's this like tart cherry flavor. I mean it's so nostalgic. It's three times the electrolytes of a leading sports drink and made with refreshing on the go hydration. Eight essential vitamins in that. And the sugar free comes in a variety of flavors also. That includes white, peach, rainbow, sherbet, strawberry, watermelon and much more. I mean it just tastes so good. So, you know, get your pick me up.

[Ashley Hess]

Lemon, lime, grapefruit and guava forever. But the Ring Pop, I'm just obsessed. I love their little fun flavors, little seasonal flavors.

[Raina Greenberg]

They do so you can say yes to unforgettable moments with Liquid IV's new hydration multiplier sugar free ring pop tariff Pour Live More. Go to Liquid IV.com and get get 20% off your first purchase with code GGE at checkout. That's 20% off your first purchase with Code [e-mail] okay.

[Ashley Hess]

The millennial midlife crisis. We love a good crash out the millennial crash out because, like, we are midlife. And that's crazy because midlife crisis is someone's dad buying a convertible. Like, that's when we were younger. But like, we are that age where

[Raina Greenberg]

the dads were in our four, in their 40s. That's crazy. They were so old back then.

[Ashley Hess]

I know, like, you picture this like, balding old dad buying a bright red convertible and like leaving his wife.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's us. That's crazy. But this has gotten, like, very hot recently. I mean, I've seen everybody write about at the Cut and NPR and vox, the millennial midlife crisis. I mean, you guys are there and we'll kind of dive into these articles a little bit. But I think a lot of people, as they get around 40, their late 30s, are just kind of saying to themselves, you know, is this it? The job I chose, the partner I chose, the city I chose, you know, is this what I planned for? You know, I, I had these plans to be, whether it's a mother, I had a certain amount of money I thought I'd be making or career success, and did I reach it? It's like, you know, it's when you're just clocking, like, did I hit the goals I wanted to hit? And, like, is this what it looks like for forever? And we asked you guys and you had like a ton of feelings. And I, you know, we just want to validate this sort of everybody's in the same bucket in terms of, like, this is evaluation time. And am I where I want to be?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And every generation has its pitfalls. And I think that millennials and younger Gen X kind of fall into zillennials too, fall into the same bucket. And then you have, you know, boomers who want to be like, well, when I was on, you know, like, they had their crisis too. And, you know, people, especially before that, who grew up in the Great Depression and all the, these recessions and all of these things. And then you have Gen Z, who I feel for more than anyone because of the way that they've grown up, like, they haven't even really experienced the like world we experienced in the early 2000 and tens where it felt like hustling and money and people were doing well. Not me necessarily. I was broke as fuck in 2010. But you know, like, they haven't even gotten to experience that. And then Covid affecting their high school and their college and all these things and like they're the school shooting era. They really grew up differently and I feel for them more than anyone. But we're going to kind of approach this as like the generation that we are and what we can speak on and what our peers are experiencing. And we, we've really discussed this in depth of like how, of the tone of this episode because the state of the world is just really bleak and we want to not address like the elephant in the room of like what's happening in like our world and our economy and AI in the workforce and women being pushed out of the workforce and the rampant misogyny and lack of equality and. But we don't want to be so doomsday and we want to just validate what a lot of people are experiencing and we want to keep it light and fun with how people, people are handling their midlife crisis too. For Reina, she's moving back to New York. Reina started stand up comedy.

[Raina Greenberg]

This is my Ferrari at 40.

[Ashley Hess]

Started stand up comedy at 40. Was a real cry for help. No, I got married. That was my. Can you imagine? No, but there's a few factors. There's really this lack of stability, you know, being priced out of these traditional milestones, like owning a home or having a family, whether you're priced out or not, whether you're aren't with a partner or whether you can't afford a home. Like the American dream is, I don't want to say non existent, but it is really hard to achieve. Like we have this growing wealth disparity, like the middle class and like being able to just have like a decent salary and be able to afford a home and two kids and in state, tuition to college is gone. And there are a lot of resources for this too. Of course we have Mrs. Dow Jones on recently and Tori Dunlap and when you want to talk about the money side of it. But there's this crisis to find our footing and we were brought up in this hustle culture, conditioning. Just work hard, head down, and you will thrive. And now we have AI taking all these jobs. And millennials are also in this. They call it the sandwich generation or the caregiving squeeze, where you're taking care of both aging Parents and young children, sometimes simultaneously, we're facing our own mortality. Our parents are aging again, raising young children. A lot of millennials had children older. You know, it's not like 27 year olds as much with young children, and they have a while ahead of them to care for their aging parents.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, we don't want this to be so bleak, but, you know, we just want to validate that the cost of living has exploded and the, the rate of salaries has not. And so this is harder and harder. And I pulled this quote from an article in the Cut recently called Midlife Crisis in the End Times. And it said we put our heads down, got good grades, went to college, pursued our passions, and then when everything crashed around us, we pivoted, we went back to school for something more practical. Kept at it. Yet time and time again, we've been locked out of basic capitalist promises like job security, home ownership, and any kind of comfortable retirement plan. And I don't know if previous generations have felt like this. And you know, times change and politics change and money changes and we have to like bend with the times and move and be flexible. But I think a lot of people are feeling scared with AI and with job security. And I mean, I just can't say it enough that you're just, you're among a lot of other people that feel like this. I think some people are looking around saying like, my life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to necessarily, but a lot of people are feeling this.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And again, I'm just going to like, say my piece and we'll move on from the political aspect of it all. But like, I know we all know if we would have had a different outcome in 2016, we wouldn't be sitting here feeling like this. Women especially. I just want to speak to women like we had the drastic. And I'm not saying there weren't problems in this country before 2016, capitalism problems, all this stuff, but I feel like the greed and the oligarchs were like, reined in more than they are now and they're running rampant. And like, we've never seen corporate greed like this and we just experienced someone coming into power with the worst of intentions. Like, I feel like when these corporations realize they could go full send on like taking advantage of people and as like the wealth disparity is insane. I feel like we're watching people get richer and richer and richer and poorer and poorer and poorer and also just women getting pushed outta the workforce and the misogyny in this administration became mainstream. There's this article in the Atlantic, and I'm just gonna reference it, and then we can again stop with the bleak outlook. But it's by Helen Lewis. It says the men who want women to be quiet. And it says a virulent form of misogyny has become the single most important force holding together the American right. And I just can't help but think that, like, prior to 2016, that type of misogyny was incel shit. Now those people are influencers. It's mainstream, like, where we are as women because of Donald Trump and his administration. And, like, we had a break in between where Joe Biden was trying to fix the fucking shit sandwich of a pandemic. Like, let's not forget the pandemic a lot when women got pushed out. Workforce too, and disproportionately women of color. Like, it's just so fucked. And I just want to validate that, like, we are really fortunate. And I don't wanna not acknowledge that. But, like, we worry too. Nothing's guaranteed. We don't have fuck you, money forever. You know, like, we're doing great now. I think we've made some smart choices. But, like, I really worry about the future. And I really sit down and I think about my nephews. I wanna cry. And I really, truly believe that the pendulum is gonna swing. And I really feel like we are all fed up and we need to use our collective voice to fight back against this. And I really think we're going to have a brighter future. But it is bleak right now. And I just want to acknowledge how hard it is sometimes to have hope. And one of these articles I read said, like, having hope is so millennial. And, like, I don't know, that's not an insult to us. Like, I think we still have that hope that things will go the other way.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, I mean, what's the. What's the other.

[Ashley Hess]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

What's the other solution? And, yeah, you know, I was surprised I didn't know the tone of this article because we posted it to our audience. Like, what does your millennial midlife crisis look like? And so many people just echoed different deficits in their life and how they thought their life would turn out. And, you know, I think that so much of at least the people in our lives, I see that, like, we know a lot of women that talk about having kids. You know, we have so many girlfriends that are turning 40 that, like, thought they'd be mothers today. And, you know, they didn't think that they'd still be single at 40, wouldn't have children. And I'm amazed at the women in our life that have decided to find joy in other ways. I mean, we just have so many girlfriends that have, like, started apps and new businesses and travel around the world and spend more time with their parents and new hobbies and interests, and I think it could be both. I think you can mourn the life that you didn't get to have. That is some people's greatest dream in the entire world. And I hope all of our girlfriends get to have that someday. But in the meantime, like, the women in our life have chosen joy and adventure, and I'm. I'm proud to, like, be their friend. And I'm. I don't know what it feels like to want this thing so badly and to never have it, and there's no substitute for it either. But I'm amazed at the women that we know that have at least chosen to find and find joy.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I know I tread lightly here because of. What I don't want to do is pity my friends and, like, who are just, like, really amazing women who I look up to and I don't. But I feel for them so deeply. Women of a certain age that really wanted to be a mother. And we know women having kids on their own, by the way, of course. And that's always an option. I mean, depending on your health, but whether you can carry them or not, I mean, you have so many different options. But a lot of women are like, I don't want that. I want to have a partner and a family, and I don't have that. And I think that, like you said, they have, like, found happiness and they all should be proud of themselves. And what's a perfect life anyway? It's an illusion. What Bell Burden is the perfect example of that. That's. I think people love strangers so much. The book, the recent, like, bestseller we've talked about is, like, that was a perfect life. That was wealth and a loving marriage and kids and vacation homes, and, like, look what happens. Like, no one's life is perfect. And I talked to a friend recently, and she is someone who is 42. She's my age, and wanted to be a mother and wanted to have a family. She really doesn't want to have a child on her own. And she is caring for aging parents. She just had a loss in her family. She was in a job that robbed her of all her, like, joy for years, and she finally left, and she's just been, like, traveling. She, you know, was Able to save up money. And she went to her 20 year reunion recently and she I think felt some type of way of like so many of these women have families now and they have the kids in the quote unquote perfect life. And people were so jealous of the life she's living, like of the travel she's doing and the meals she's having and the way she's living her life life. And it's all relative. We talked about it with Tunde of her being like, I wanted to have my friend's life who was in Covid with her family and having picnics and with all these people and her friends, like I would die to go to the bathroom alone. You know, like, we have to remember those things. And it's just like so important to find what really does make you happy and brings you joy and like the really valuable things in life. Like when I think about the things that like I haven't achieved or I haven't gotten or I want that other people have, I'm just like, I have to remember what's so important. And it's like family and friendship and connection and relationships and my nephews and like touching grass. You know, people are just like, we say that in this joking way, but it's like really important to like get outside and touch grass.

[Raina Greenberg]

I think it's important to like acknowledge there is no perfect life. There's no finish line. The goalpost is always moving. And I think, you know, women our age were brought up to like find the husband, have the children and also have the career. But like, what happens once you get all of that, like life is you had 50 more years to live, you know, And I think about how many people I know that had these perfect lives, that it was taken away from them. In their early 40s, my parents had a great marriage. They had this, this Jewish community and lots of family and friends. Big family, humongous house and by all intents and purpose, great marriage, two children, all the money they could ever want. It fell apart in my, in their early 40s and their life didn't go the way they thought it would. And they found another way to be happy and they found a new dream and they, you know, and my parents were able to co parent really well together. I would choose that over living in a house with two parents and each other. You know, I think that there is no finish line and things could fall apart tomorrow. And we all have to find ways to find joy outside of that one goal that we think we have to reach.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, and you know, if it's a partner, you can find the love of your life at 60. I mean, it's never too late. Like you said. Like, I really think if you really, again, like, look for those things, those things that bring you joy and happiness in your life and focus on them and work on yourself. Like, I just think you'll find it. I mean, I'm not saying you'll get rich and famous, but you'll, I think you'll find your happiness. But again, it's like, I can't talk about this stuff. Sometimes it feels crazy to talk about this stuff with the state of the world. So I just want to acknowledge that, like when I'm saying this, it, some of it feels not inauthentic but like, I can't believe what's happening outside our door. And we're just like, be happy. You know, I just want to acknowledge it. It feels a little weird to me.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, it sucks. I mean, there's no easy answer to any of this. I mean our audience, we always say this time and I mean, you guys share so much with us. We can't believe what you guys share with us. And so many people said, I don't have any money. I don't have the money I thought that I would have. And I don't have the career I thought I would have or the partner or the children. And there's no easy wrap it up in a bow answer to any of this. I don't have an answer to any of this. It's important to acknowledge that other people feel like this.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And I mean again, like no one wants to hear everything happens for a reason. But I, you, you hear over and over in my life and your life and friends lives a friend really deal a real rock bottom right now. And I think she's starting to come around to like a, this all had to happen for the next phase of my life. And if you are really at the rock bottom, you really feel like you have nothing to lose. No better time to take a big swing. No better time to pivot. Fuck it. No responsibility, just it. What do you want to do? Just try it. Just throw it against the wall. And that's easier said than done for some people who may be like more risk averse. But I have a friend Too that's again 40s. Thought she'd be married with kids by now. She moved back in with her mom and she's saving up because she's going to move to a different place. But I am like, you know, she tells Me about her life with her mom. And I, like, I could cry. It's so beautiful. Like, when else would you have had this time with your mom or your parents? Like, move back in with your friends if you got to cut costs. Like, there's no answer and there's no path anymore and there's no perfect life. And like the beauty of this is that you do not have to give a shit about societal and cultural norms. They're just out the window.

[Raina Greenberg]

They just don't really exist.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So don't let people lie to you that they do. It's projecting, I think.

[Raina Greenberg]

So many people said, like, I'm not in the same phase of life as my friends. I woke up, I don't really have friends I can hang out with anymore. Move to New York, you know, a

[Ashley Hess]

great place to make friends.

[Raina Greenberg]

I just, I really feel people that are like, I, I just day to day, I don't have the community I want around me and I'm not dating the way I want to. And it's certainly not easy to move to another state. This is a whole pain in my ass and I'm a very high functioning person and I have nobody else financially to take care of besides me. So I'm in the best position of anybody to move across the country and it's still going to be a nightmare. So it's not like just move. But I don't know if that's what you're really feeling. Want to take a swing at that? Do what we did. Go live somewhere for three weeks. How long do we live here? Three months.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh yeah, we locked into three months and we just stayed for three years. But yeah, do whatever makes you happy. I mean again, like, we would like to really break down this like quote unquote rejection of girl boss culture and I get almost like overcorrection into trad wifery that you would say. And I said to Ray this morning, like, I just, I started making all these notes. I was like, it's a different conversation and it's heavy and I want someone smarter than us to come in and talk to us about it. I mean, I have my own thoughts on of course. But you know, if you feel like you were promised all this shit and now your job's being replaced, like you should be mad. It sucks. Like it sucks you want to leave the corporate world and become a spiritual life coach, fucking do it. Like, do what makes you happy. Because I just want to validate it and I really hope things change and I really, really believe that they will. But again, it's like, we have an administration doesn't care if we have health care or that we have Social Security. Like, we are not what our parents have in even terms of Social Security and retirement. And there's a lot of resources out there of, like, what to do with your money. And we've had those guests on as well. But, like, I think people are looking down that road, too. And it's like, we have to just hope that things will change and, like, do your part of whatever that may be in your community to try to make that happen.

[Raina Greenberg]

It's tough. We were really raised in the girl brass generation that you said, like, work really hard, girls, because God forbid a man leaves you and you to have to pay for your own stuff and go out and, like, be really successful on your own.

[Ashley Hess]

But we should have been able to, and we did.

[Raina Greenberg]

You and I did. Right?

[Ashley Hess]

But that's just like the being fucking. Bernie Sanders would have won in 2016. We would have this fucking conversation, even Hillary. But you know what? That's neither here nor there. We'll deep dive at a later date. But it's just changed a lot of, like, the world has changed so, so drastically. And I really just. I feel for people who really had that dream of a family. Not even wealthy, just normal, just pay

[Raina Greenberg]

my bills, feel confident.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes.

[Raina Greenberg]

But I think a lot of people reach this age and our listeners sort of echo this, that, you know, I'm constantly comparing myself to everyone else's milestones and success and what am I going to do next with my career or my marriage. And I think so many people just ask themselves these questions, and it's tough with AI today. I think a lot of people are feeling like, you know, I learned all these skills and my skills are obsolete. And we want to validate. It's not just as easy as, like, find your hobbies, you know? Yeah, we don't feel like that.

[Ashley Hess]

And again, I cannot stress you guys enough that I could, like, talk about this for hours. And we. We will deep dive and talk about this, because that was the article that really, if you guys want to read it, it is the revolt against the girl bosses has finally come. And that is in the New York Times. But I don't think we need to be blaming the women who told us to, like, get our bag and lean in, if you want to explain. But it's. This is more about the eye of it all. And, like, I thought the title was a little misleading. Once I got into it, I was like, oh, I. This is echoing the way a lot of people feel and how they're validated and feeling.

[Raina Greenberg]

I think that the people that told us to be go out and be girl bosses really well intentioned. My mom said that to me when I was growing up. If you don't end up with a man that supports you, what are you gonna do? Go make your own money, start your own business, be proud of what you've done. And I think you and I were raised by a generation of women that didn't necessarily get raised to think that way. And so they did their best to make us strong, hardworking women. And, you know, the answer was never no. When I worked at like Amazon and Groupon, like, I stayed super late, I worked on weekends, I worked nights. I mean, I just never. So there's a work life balance. I've never heard that in my entire fucking life that you could lean out, you could unsubscribe from hustle culture that, like, you should protect your peace. I would have been laughed out of the fucking building.

[Ashley Hess]

Right?

[Raina Greenberg]

And that's who raised me. And listen, it made me work really hard and I am who I am and that's what works for me. We are moving back to New York because I do subscribe to House of Culture. But if you've chosen to lean out and you're like, that's my best life. Totally.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, right, Because I think a lot of people are realizing, like, I tried that and that and all I did was like, make money for some big greedy corporation that now I'm getting pushed out of the workforce for what? And that's valid too. Again, guys, we'll do another. We'll do this. Unless you guys think this is too bleak, let us know in the comments. But if you want the deep dive on the other stuff, we'll definitely do that. It's just, it's a time to be an American. And I think, you know, just, we can't just walk around being angry all the time. You know, I think community is so important in doing what you can. And I do really think there's going to be a change and you've got to do it. What makes you happy. And I think that's. When we asked about, what's your midlife crisis? I saw this reel that said, pick your midlife crisis. And it was like a bunch of different things like sourdough gardening, bird watching, mahjong. Mahjong.

[Raina Greenberg]

Mahjong.

[Ashley Hess]

Mahjong. Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

These are really niche hobby. I mean, book clubs, multiple book clubs. Padel and pickleball. I feel this is like Covid times. People are like, I will do anything to find joy.

[Ashley Hess]

I think that's how it feels sometimes. It feels like I. Sometimes I'm like, Ashley, what are you doing next? Like my put my comedy special. Like, what are you doing next? I'm like, who fudgeing cares? Like the world is ending. Like I have a depending on the day, a really apocalyptic view. And that is why I am more sober, curious, because that's why you should

[Raina Greenberg]

stop watching the news like me.

[Ashley Hess]

You guys turn off the news and stop drinking. No, sober curious came up a lot. And that's a thing that a lot of people dabble in as they age. And it's just interesting because we're the blackout generation. Like, I love this for us. I love that look, all I used to do is be like, hold on, we can't go out yet. I'm not blacked out. And like I would drink in the

[Raina Greenberg]

shower because God forbid, of course, right, stop. Because I took a minute out of drinking.

[Ashley Hess]

What a rush. A shower. Drink a shower. Beer, shaving your legs in the shower.

[Raina Greenberg]

It was always a beer. Yes, shower beer. Like a Mickey's Ice 40 in the shower. Can't have an open cup.

[Ashley Hess]

You can't have like a cocktail in the shower.

[Raina Greenberg]

You could, you know, in LA houses you can.

[Ashley Hess]

But a lot of people are sober, curious and a lot of people are going harder on drinking and Marlboro Reds and smoking is back. And you know what? Live your truth.

[Raina Greenberg]

It never went away from it. We're all gonna die, so doing matters. So you should get some Marlboro Lights. I actually have not smoked a cigarette in like weeks.

[Ashley Hess]

Someone wrote Marlboro Reds, which is just. I can't recommend so a few other things. I mean, fostering dogs, Listen, I can't recommend it enough like that. Really. If you're into dogs, like, that is so special and like brings you joy. And I'm. I just got Isabel Klee's book about her foster dog journey and I think that's like a really beautiful thing to do. People are saying adrenaline junkie. Like, I love when people die. Pick up.

[Raina Greenberg]

Listen, that's a lot of people's retirement plan die sooner.

[Ashley Hess]

I saw it in the comments. Kms. I love when people pick that up. Like my dad picked up skiing late. He's always been adrenaline junkie, but once he realized he couldn't race cars anymore, he picked up skiing. Like I love a late in life skier.

[Raina Greenberg]

Tons of people said they became wellness girlies. I mean, listen, we're Getting older. So now's the time I'm gonna get back into my peloton. I was gonna sell it, but I'm gonna bring it to New York. I mean, Toon Day inspired me and I just, I remember how much I love it and I. It's important to me to think about bone den osteoporosis.

[Ashley Hess]

And yeah, every time we were in Dr. Barrett's rain area, you'd strength training lies to his face. I'm just sitting there, like sipping my tea.

[Raina Greenberg]

But a lot of people leaning into wellness, I mean, I have and just the smallest, dumbest things, like replacing my plastic water bottles with glass ones. Just like little things to just like feel better. The stuff I put in my body, on my body better.

[Ashley Hess]

I was seeing a lot of running. And running is good when you're angry for sure. Like, I just think like fitness in general, like sweating that shit out. I am into berries now. I mentioned it before. I do it every week and I credit it a lot with like the supplements I've been taking and I posted these recently. I should make a highlight of my wellness stuff, but like, my body feels better than ever. Like when I was doing berries when I first moved to New York, like In my early 30s, it was like a struggle. I would dread it. I wouldn't really be able to do the class. I'm breezing through these classes and it's so funny because I have the strength and stamina, but my body is still 42. So I did pull a muscle last week because I really feel like I be going so hard and my body's like. You thought Reina started sprinting? Pulled something immediate. I'm still dealing with this. Yeah, I like pulled my gluteus medius.

[Raina Greenberg]

Is that a thing?

[Ashley Hess]

Yes. And so it's just funny because I'm like, I have the strength and the stamina, but like my body's still breaking down. But anyway, running and berries is mine. And I just, I really think that is so important. Like something that makes you feel strong and good. And again, if fitness is something that works for your mental health as well, like again, I saw a few responses of this of like, like, I'm picking back up running. Like maybe you ran in your 20s or 30s and you're in your 40s now, you're like, I'll dabble. Just be careful out there, you guys. Stretch and protect your knees.

[Raina Greenberg]

Get in the stand up comedy.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, buy a house, buy a horse. I saw by horse.

[Raina Greenberg]

I don't recommend buying a house.

[Ashley Hess]

Just don't do that. Solid core fitness. Rewatching off campus, getting really into F1, becoming a Disney adult. Whatever floats your boat.

[Raina Greenberg]

Wherever you can find joy. Honestly, I will make fun of it,

[Ashley Hess]

but gardening, finding the will to live, Crocheting and knitting.

[Raina Greenberg]

A lot of that.

[Ashley Hess]

A lot of mah jong.

[Raina Greenberg]

Tons of mah Jongg.

[Ashley Hess]

Did you go in that lady's house? My brother's neighbor. Remember? You guys stayed.

[Raina Greenberg]

I stayed there.

[Ashley Hess]

But were you there on her mahjong day?

[Raina Greenberg]

She set up all those tables, Raina. It was like, yes.

[Ashley Hess]

My brother's neighbor. This one time, Raina and Louisa stayed with her.

[Raina Greenberg]

So crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

Because we didn't have enough place for people to stay during our beach.

[Raina Greenberg]

That was the door. That was hilarious. I didn't even know these people. Millennial midlife crisis. Stay at a stranger's house.

[Ashley Hess]

But remember, Louisa would just be over there chatting.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yes, Louisa. I mean, she's unstop. But that.

[Ashley Hess]

She set up mahjong Mondays and there was tables all over the house. I'm like, this is so fun. Can I tell you what I think when we move back to New York? I saw this in Lena Dunham's book, and she's talking about Jenny Connor, her, like, best friend turned friend, co producer of Girls. And she was saying, like, she every Sunday would, like, just have a bunch of wine and food and that people would come in and out and, like, that's my dream, to have, like, a standing date. I am volunteering your house, just so you know.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, okay. Well, I'm not gonna give you the address, so.

[Ashley Hess]

Don't you think this would be so fun?

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, it's someone else's house.

[Ashley Hess]

I can't do it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yes, you can.

[Ashley Hess]

I don't think people are gonna want to come over to the. To Brooklyn. I just think you're gonna have the space.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, I don't want to.

[Ashley Hess]

Rena, you don't want to have, like, a standing Sunday come by?

[Raina Greenberg]

No, I. I can't wait to move into a smaller space and never have anybody. People aren't staying the night ever again.

[Ashley Hess]

You love to host.

[Raina Greenberg]

Not anymore. I just, you know, I'm gonna lean out. I just. I. I don't think I've really loved it that. That much recently. I've just. Why don't you host?

[Ashley Hess]

We would. I just don't think the location is optimal. But I guess we do have a lot of friends in Brooklyn.

[Raina Greenberg]

You have a lot of friends?

[Ashley Hess]

Like, all those Greenpoint. Okay, we're gonna do it then.

[Raina Greenberg]

Hell, yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Every Sunday. Come on over okay, great. Okay, great. Settle.

[Raina Greenberg]

Got out of it.

[Ashley Hess]

Thought you were gonna love this idea.

[Raina Greenberg]

I have an insane rooftop also that no one really invited to. You know, Jeremy and Alana's building. Great for I'll volunteer their place.

[Ashley Hess]

But I just love this. Like, if you have a community, I think these things really fill your cup. If you have a community every Sunday, you know, we got the wine and the snacks, everybody bringing appetizers. Be every week. People have lives and busy and kids and all that stuff. But, like, I just like the thought of something to look forward to in your week. Like, again, I have a lot less going on here. But like Taylor and I having that standing date at Barry's every week and then we go have wine or coffee after. Like, I really look forward to it. So I think, think those things keep you going is like a thing to look forward to with your friend. Even if it's just a lunch or a coffee. Like, why not put that in your schedule?

[Raina Greenberg]

What you described also, it feels more Brooklyn. It's like a community of people. Manhattan, we're not a community of people. Brooklyn, community of people. You see the same people walking their dog.

[Ashley Hess]

I already said we would do it. You don't have to keep trying to

[Raina Greenberg]

convince me you're gonna back out of something. And I'm just.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, because Shashank loves to cook.

[Raina Greenberg]

Exactly.

[Ashley Hess]

Kitchen sink app.

[Raina Greenberg]

Exactly.

[Ashley Hess]

Check it out, you guys. Again, we just wanted to do this and validate how everyone is feeling. And like, if you are like, I feel scared about the future and like, what's in my bank account. Like, so many other people feel that way and we try to give as many resources as we can on this podcast, but we or anyone else doesn't have like, the magic answer. But I just think it's important to, like, validate how people are feeling and like, encouraging you to, like, find the joy in the community and the things, things that fill you up where you can. And I just hope, like that again, the pendulum is going to swing the other way. And you know, it's not the same. I think things are really dark right now. But one of the quotes I pulled from one of these articles was, most of the cohort, like these millennials entered the workforce in, around, or following the financial collapse of 2008, only to be hit again by Covid 2020 recession. And now join the ranks of the middle aged in whatever kind of economy we're facing in 2025. This article is from 2025. And so it's like, we've been through Some of this, you know, our parents or our grandparents have been through some of this and have come out on the other side. And I know sometimes it can feel hard to think that's going to happen just because the odds are so stacked against us. And like, this corporate greed is so. And this oligarchy is so out of control. But, like, we just obviously have to believe that it will change because we are fed up and everybody is fed up.

[Raina Greenberg]

You and I will probably be in jail for speaking out against the furor in the next year.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. This is the last you're gonna hear from us about this on this topic. Thank you for your attention this matter.

[Raina Greenberg]

But, you know, I think that every generation has had their millennial midlife crisis. And I think that everybody hits an age where they think my life didn't go where I wanted it to go. Career wise, money wise, friendship wise, spouse wise, children wise. And life is really long. It's constantly changing. And, you know, you can always pivot and try something different. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying, like, just make more money or just find a new career, but. But life is really long. And just because you look around and other people seem to have achieved these milestones that you want to ballot, what's up always comes down. But the good news is what's down will go back up also. And if you're feeling really unhappy, life goes on and it's long and you can pivot and hopefully find community. And I think that every generation has felt like this at some point. And it's important to just find people that validate that and to find fun, enjoy it in life and play mahjong or bird watch or get into a

[Ashley Hess]

book club backpack in your 40s. I don't know, you can still travel on the cheap. It might not be the standards you may be used to at this age, but you can always to put on a backpack and go stay in a hostel and see the world. Not you. But I'm saying, like, if you really feel like this is a, like I said, like real rock bottom, there's an only way to go is up and just fuck it. Literally fuck it.

[Raina Greenberg]

It.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, I love that Keltie Knight is coming out with this fuck them theory as kind of an antidote to the let them theory. Just fuck it. That's the energy now. I mean, that's kind of the beauty of where we're at in this climate, because we really didn't feel that energy when we were in the Girl Boss world. You couldn't just say it. You really had to, like, boss it out.

[Raina Greenberg]

Wish I could remember this because, you know, we used to say more, cry less. Somebody wrote something like less Fox last Fox was a part of it. Okay, more or less Fox.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, cry more or less. We're all crying more. Just so. Just so you guys know, I really don't know. All right. It's too late for you. It's 5:11 at this point, you guys. So Reina's. She's sundown for her.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

All right, well, thank you guys for being here as always. If you're still around to the end and you can find this. Here we go. I always lose it at the end, too. Girls Gotta Eat dot com. But again, nothing's really going on over there. But it's always there for your. For your pleasure.

[Raina Greenberg]

The new episodes are there. The partners.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Girls Gotta eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Raina is raina.greenberg raina greenberg.com for her fall tour tickets, full video on Spotify and YouTube. We would love if you would leave a comment on Spotify. So subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a millennial friend who may need it or really anyone, and we will see you Thursday.

[Raina Greenberg]

Have a good week, guys.

[Ashley Hess]

By. Sam.