Girls Gotta Eat: The Snack — “Louvre Heist, Merkin Thong, and Couples You Love to Hate”
Date: October 23, 2025
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine & Rayna Greenberg
Podcast: Girls Gotta Eat (Dear Media)
Episode Overview
This "Snack" episode serves up a whirlwind of pop culture commentary, from absurd celebrity couple updates and viral internet moments to wild news stories and snarky product launches. Ashley and Rayna break down the spectacle of the Louvre heist, Kim Kardashian’s infamous "merkin thong," and celeb couples that overstay their welcome in the media. As always, the tone is irreverent, witty, and zippy — offering comedic hot takes on headline-grabbing nonsense.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. A Wave Goodbye to Dustin, and a Welcome to Laura
- The hosts kick off in a flurry of banter, expressing excitement to record and noting the bittersweet switch from longtime editor Dustin to new editor Laura.
“It’s so unfrequently that we let a man in here and so that’s how good he was.” — Ashley [01:31]
- Sets tone of camaraderie and inside jokes, with plenty of ribbing about outfits and on-air mishaps.
2. Couples We Wish We Knew Less About [02:49]
A recurring theme: public couples who remain fixtures of debate and meme culture — no matter how much the world tries to look away.
a) Blac Chyna & Rob Kardashian Redux? [03:24]
- Rumors swirl after cryptic social posts and ambiguous interviews.
- Rayna reminds us of “the mess” of their past, including revenge porn and alleged gun threats.
- Ashley:
“You don’t root for the toxicity...you always want parents to be able to work it out for baby Dream, I guess.” [04:31]
- The hosts remain skeptical, calling out the complicated, volatile (and perhaps exploitative) nature of the press coverage.
b) Bill Belichick & Jordan Hudson [05:55]
- A much-discussed, age-gap couple: 73-year-old NFL coach and 21-year-old cheerleader.
- Caught berating each other on hot mic for a now-abandoned reality show.
- “Her confidence is the most white male confidence I’ve ever seen.” — Rayna [07:14]
- Ashley:
“He’s just like, I’m 73, I don’t have anything to prove to anybody at this point. Let her cook. Let this child that I get to have sex with cook.” [07:39]
- Mocking the absurdity, but also noting the comic relief this scenario provides to Belichick’s ex-wife.
c) Kevin Federline’s Tell-All Memoir [08:14]
- K-Fed’s soon-to-be released memoir (launching on Rayna’s wedding day!) draws the hosts’ ire.
- They criticize the exploitation of Britney Spears for profit, particularly troubling details about her struggles:
“This stuff is really, really hard to read, and it feels deeply disgusting to have monetized this for his children, too.” — Ashley [09:24]
- Sternly question his motives, noting Britney’s ongoing troubles and loss of custody.
- “Isn’t it, like, enough?” — Rayna [11:00]
d) Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard — The Anniversary Instagram Cringe [11:20]
- Dissect Kristen’s dark-humored post about Dax being “heavily incentivized to kill her.”
- The caption is widely critiqued for being tone-deaf (especially during Domestic Violence Awareness Month), odd, and unfunny.
“You can joke about anything if you make it funny. It just wasn’t that funny.” — Ashley [17:04]
- Unpack the even weirder anniversary photo, questioning the intention and why such a private pose is made public.
“If he wasn’t consoling her, and that’s just how they hug? Even weirder.” — Rayna [13:55]
3. The Louvre Heist: Art Crime or Movie Plot? [17:40]
- The hosts explosively recap the recent real-life jewel heist at the Louvre, mocking the apparent simplicity of the crime:
“I could have planned this heist. Like, if all I had to do was buy a construction worker costume from Halloween.com...” — Ashley [18:23]
- Details:
- Four thieves in construction gear, truck-mounted basket-lift, in-and-out in 7 minutes, escaping on scooters.
- Guards present, but largely unarmed or uninvolved.
“You and I could have done this. All they had to do was dress up as construction workers.” — Ashley [19:52]
- Speculation of inside job and plenty of memes:
“He robbed the Louv in seven minutes, he could text you back if he wanted to.” — Rayna [22:08]
- Bemoan that stolen items might be lost forever (melted, sold for parts).
4. Kim Kardashian’s Merkin Thong: Is It a Product or a Punchline? [24:01]
- Skims launches a “merkin thong” — essentially a hairy thong.
- The hosts cannot fathom a genuine market for it:
“No one would buy this. Truly. I need to know in the comments if you guys would buy this, if you know anyone who bought it.” — Rayna [24:44]
- Leads to a tangent on “bushes are back,” and a reflection on failed laser hair removal.
- Ashley:
“It’s a hairy thong that feels uncomfy to put under a pair of pants. I don’t need extra padding.” [25:52]
- Jokes about care instructions and Kim’s simultaneous viral moment (Trump’s neck + merkin memes).
Kim’s Nude Face Mask Red Carpet Look [28:10]
- Coverage of Kim at the Academy Museum Gala — glam makeup covered by a nude stocking.
“Commit to the bit and don’t speak. This is why mascots don’t talk.” — Rayna [29:26]
5. Love Is Blind: Denver – Finale Predictions [34:51]
- Deep analysis of all remaining couples, predicting no lasting marriages.
- Hot takes on the show’s notorious editing, off-screen producer influence, and mismatched pairings.
- Rayna is sympathetic to Megan’s hesitance with a partner who has a child:
“It’s not about the money. It’s only ... she can’t be tied down with a child at this point.” — Rayna [39:35]
- Acknowledges the show's track record but sees this season as different — no real love matches emerging.
“There wasn’t one couple that I was like, these people should be together.” — Rayna [42:11]
6. Pop Culture Headlines & Quick Hits [48:09]
a) TJ Holmes and Amy Robach Engaged [48:09]
- GMA3 anchors turned tabloid fodder now tie the knot after messy public affair.
“If people are going to burn their whole lives to the ground and end their marriages, you better end up together.” — Ashley [49:35]
b) Tyra Banks’ Hot Ice Cream [49:48]
- Tyra launches “Smize and Dream” hot (melted) ice cream drinks. The hosts are fully baffled.
“If you’re gonna do something hot and sweet with no caffeine, get the fuck out of here.” — Rayna [50:39]
c) No Kings Protest [50:58]
- Shoutout to the millions across the country who protested against the Trump administration’s recent policies and priorities.
“You really feel so connected and inspired to be on the streets. ... There really is power to the people.” — Rayna [51:59]
d) White House Demolition for Trump’s Ballroom [53:12]
- Outrage over the east wing’s demolition for a ballroom amid a government shutdown, layoffs and rising health care costs.
“Like, it is America last at this point. You have to see that, right?” — Rayna [54:02]
e) Billy McFarland’s Next Festival Attempt [54:21]
- The disgraced Fyre Fest creator claims a comeback — the hosts (and everyone) remain unconvinced.
“It’s not even funny anymore. It’s just, you are literally a joke.” — Ashley [54:53]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Everything I’ve learned about these people has been against my will.” — Ashley [03:05]
- “Her confidence is the most white male confidence I’ve ever seen.” — Rayna [07:14]
- “You can joke about anything if you make it funny. It just wasn’t that funny.” — Ashley [17:04]
- “If he wasn’t consoling her, and that’s just how they hug? Even weirder.” — Rayna [13:55]
- “He robbed the Louv in seven minutes, he could text you back if he wanted to.” — Rayna [22:08]
- “Commit to the bit and don’t speak. This is why mascots don’t talk.” — Rayna [29:26]
- “If people are going to burn their whole lives to the ground and end their marriages, you better end up together.” — Ashley [49:35]
- “If you’re gonna do something hot and sweet with no caffeine, get the fuck out of here.” — Rayna [50:39]
- “There wasn’t one couple that I was like, these people should be together.” — Rayna [42:11]
- “Like, it is America last at this point. You have to see that, right?” — Rayna [54:02]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [02:49] Couples We Wish We Knew Less About start
- [05:55] Bill Belichick & Jordan Hudson
- [08:14] Kevin Federline’s Memoir / Britney Spears
- [11:20] Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard Anniversary Post
- [17:40] Louvre Heist
- [24:01] Kim Kardashian’s Merkin Thong & Bushes Are Back
- [28:10] Kim Kardashian’s Red Carpet “Nude Mask”
- [34:51] Love is Blind: Denver finale predictions
- [48:09] Headlines Roundup (GMA affair, Tyra Banks, protests, more)
- [53:12] White House Demolition for Trump Ballroom
- [54:21] Billy McFarland’s New Scam Festival
Final Thoughts
This Snack episode delivers what Girls Gotta Eat does best: sharp pop culture insight, unfiltered takes, and plenty of roast-worthy humor. Whether dishing on the ridiculousness of pop products, the drama of reality TV, or the troubling state of national politics, Ashley and Rayna provide an always-relatable lens for listeners who love a little snark with their news.
Share this episode for laughs, side-eye, and solidarity in a world full of nonsense.