Girls Gotta Eat "The Snack" - September 11, 2025

Episode: Phillies Karen, VMAs, and Unknown Number

Overview

In this lively "Snack" edition, Ashley Hesseltine and Raina Greenberg serve up a comedic, rapid-fire rundown of the week in sports, pop culture, viral memes, and streaming TV. They dissect Philly sports chaos (including the viral "Spitgate" and "Home Run Karen" moments), share sharp takes on the 2025 VMAs’ generational oddities, and break down the jaw-dropping Netflix doc "Unknown Number." The episode also touches on wild internet moments (like Luigi Mangione’s Shein ad and Trump’s Epstein card), the ever-evolving celebrity relationship web, and more—all with trademark GGE irreverence and wit.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Great Philly Spitgate (00:59–09:26)

• Eagles Season Opener: The much-anticipated NFL kickoff between Philly and Dallas erupts when Jalen Carter is ejected before the game even starts after spitting on Dak Prescott.
  • "Six seconds into the game." — Raina (03:36)
  • "This is unprecedented in sports...both really famous, seasoned, long time professional players." — Raina (04:20)
  • There’s confusion, then video evidence emerges that Prescott "spit first."
  • Rapid meme response: Philly fans shift from embarrassment to righteous defense—"He Dax'ed first."
  • "Jaylen Carter spitting on Dak Prescott is so comparable to Will Smith slapping Chris Rock where you're stunned." — Ashley (07:56)
  • Jason Kelce’s viral tweet: "Everyone knows you don’t spit, you swallow. Obvi." (08:21)
• Meta Commentary: The co-hosts riff on sports' repressed sexuality, Philly pride, and viral meme culture in the wake of the incident.

2. Philly’s Home Run 'Karen' at Marlins Game (09:50–15:38)

• Karen Attacks for a Baseball: A Phillies-Marlins game becomes a spectacle when a Cruella De Vil–haired woman aggressively takes a home run ball from a father and son.
  • The stadium boos, social media excoriates her, and memes abound.
  • The kid eventually "makes out" better: gifted by the Marlins, Harrison Bader, and a camper company.
  • The co-hosts debate the ethics of ball-chasing and parental entitlement, landing on "never take it from a kid."
  • "Punishment fits the crime": Her public shaming is bad enough—calls not to dox or over-punish.
  • "[People] take it too far…this is why we can't have nice things." — Ashley (14:08)
  • Hilarity over her haircut and the inevitable Spirit Halloween costume meme.

3. Flag-Crawling Mystery Man at Steelers Game (16:00–17:44)

• At MetLife Stadium, crowds watch confused as a man must crawl the length of a giant flag during the national anthem.
  • "He looks so...It’s so Pittsburgh." — Raina (16:39)
  • Is it an alien? No one knows who he is or how he got there—perfect viral fodder.

4. 2025 VMAs: A Generational Mashup (22:08–31:29)

• Host and Performers: LL Cool J hosted (the crowd was confused), with throwbacks like Ricky Martin and Lady Gaga mixed with Gen Z stars.
  • "This was a year of, like, some extreme nostalgia..." — Raina (22:37)
  • The struggle to “reach everyone,” with presenters and artists spanning decades.
• Performance Highlights:
  • Gaga’s art-school horror show ("terrifying...I was triggered as someone who saw the Thriller video too young") (24:47)
  • Sabrina Carpenter and Tate McRae praised for sexy, bold performances—much sand and speculation about sand in uncomfortable places.
  • Mariah Carey’s legendary “give us nothing” performance, slow-walking the stage and bantering with the crowd:
    • "She was the epitome of yes, girl, give us nothing." — Ashley (27:23)
    • "She shaded it too a little bit—like, what took you so long, MTV?" — Ashley (27:40)
    • Iconic new catchphrase: "Would you ever go to space?" — "I've done enough." — Mariah Carey (30:19)
• On the fading shock value of VMAs: "We come from an era of just like...no surprises." — Ashley & Raina (31:19)

5. Who’s Hosting the Emmys? (31:30–34:27)

• Comedy guessing game reveals Nate Bargatze as upcoming Emmys host—co-hosts are surprised but ultimately approve.
  • "He is one of my favorite comedians ever....but I did not see that coming." — Raina (34:20)
  • As an aside, discusses how hosts should span generations (and why it shouldn't always be Nikki).

6. Netflix Doc "Unknown Number" (34:34–44:05)

• A candid (SPOILER FILLED) breakdown: High school catfishing, small-town chaos, and the disturbing twist that the mystery harasser was the victim’s own mother.
  • "I've never seen spoilers like this for a show in the history of time." — Raina (35:12)
  • Munchausen by proxy, emotional manipulation, and the psychological devastation for the daughter.
  • "It would be more understandable if this mom was bullying other kids...but this is like, you’re a monster." — Ashley (37:22)
  • Police handling and the dad’s understated rage examined.
  • “Trevor Wallace” video parodies instantly referenced and recommended (“This is the most name that I've ever done. Diabolical masterpiece.” — Ashley, 41:54)
  • Reveals mom's dangerous fixation and the perverse twist of her inserting herself as the comforter after being unmasked as the perpetrator.

7. Viral & Celebrity News Quick Hits (44:16–58:58)

• Luigi Mangione, Shein and AI Fakes: A convicted murderer becomes an accidental Shein model—Was someone trolling, was it AI, or just bad QA?
• Trump's Birthday Card to Epstein: Coarse, lewd, and possibly incriminating—plus the outlandish right-wing claim that Trump was at Epstein events as an FBI informant:
  • "You are stupid. And you are in a cult." — Ashley (54:44)
• Celebrity Dating Avalanche: Hot people are dating even hotter people:
  • Olivia Jade double-dipping with Glen Powell and Jacob Elordi
    • "She got that Meghan Markle pussy." — Raina (56:20)
  • Zoe Kravitz and Harry Styles—match made in fashion heaven; Kaia Gerber’s new, less-famous man.
  • Zoe Kravitz’s enviable dating history: "She’s, like, the number one." — Raina (57:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Comment | |-----------|----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 07:56 | Ashley | "Jaylen Carter spitting on Dak Prescott is so comparable to Will Smith slapping Chris Rock where you're stunned." | | 08:21 | Jason Kelsey (quoted by hosts) | "Everyone knows you don’t spit, you swallow. Obvi."| | 14:08 | Ashley | "[People] take it too far…this is why we can't have nice things."| | 22:37 | Raina | "This was a year of, like, some extreme nostalgia..." | | 27:23 | Ashley | "She was the epitome of yes, girl, give us nothing." | | 30:19 | Mariah Carey (relayed by hosts) | "I've done enough." | | 41:54 | Ashley | On the Trevor Wallace parody: "This is the most name that I've ever done. Diabolical masterpiece." | | 54:44 | Ashley | "You are stupid. And you are in a cult." | | 56:20 | Raina | "She got that Meghan Markle pussy." | | 57:11 | Raina | "She’s, like, the number one." |

Additional Highlights by Timestamp

• [03:52] – Why Spitgate “jump scare” compares to Will Smith/Chris Rock.
• [09:26] – Jason Kelsey’s blowjob joke goes viral.
• [15:38] – "Send him to the MLB" on the mythic child baseball catch.
• [27:40] – Mariah Carey shades the VMAs for her belated award.
• [30:19] – Mariah’s "I've done enough" becomes the new GGE mantra.
• [34:34] – Netflix doc “Unknown Number”: the big reveal and psychological aftermath.
• [43:53] – Raina, as "Kendra," jokes about crossing over into catfish villainy.
• [44:16]–[58:58] – Lightning round: Shein, Trump and Epstein, AI models, and A-list dating drama.

Tone & Style

The episode is an irreverent mashup of current events, pop commentary, and R-rated comedy, with the hosts riffing candidly, sometimes crassly, but always sharply. The mood is casual, chaotically funny, sometimes a bit biting, offering both “did you see this?” recaps and deeper, layered discussion—peppered with viral references and inside jokes.

For Listeners Who Missed It

This Snack is a one-stop download of the week’s wildest sports drama, memeable moments, and streaming TV shocks. Come for Philly chaos and VMA nostalgia; stay for blistering one-liners (“He Dax’ed first,” “I’ve done enough”), pop culture whiplash, and can’t-miss true crime documentary talk. Skip the ads, share the memes, and use this summary as your GGE cheat sheet at brunch.