THE WEDDING RECAP feat. Ashley's Husband

Summary

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Girls Gotta Eat: "THE WEDDING RECAP feat. Ashley's Husband"

Podcast: Girls Gotta Eat (Dear Media)
Air Date: November 17, 2025
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine, Rayna Greenberg
Special Guest: Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine (Ashley’s Husband)

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Overview

This special episode of Girls Gotta Eat is a hilarious, heartfelt, and deeply detailed recap of Ashley’s wedding, with co-host Rayna and, for the first time on camera, Ashley’s new husband, Shashank (“Chunky/Shonky”) Greenberg Hasseltine. Listeners are treated to the behind-the-scenes stories, planning insights, cultural moments, emotional highs (and post-wedding lows), and all the memorable mishaps from a truly unique four-day celebration. Whether you're planning a wedding, fantasizing about one, or just love good storytelling, this is a joyously candid journey with the Girls Gotta Eat crew.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Big News: “She’s a Wife!”

• Ashley and Rayna joke about Ashley’s new “wife” status and social media reactions.
• “Marriage looks good on you. Like, it’s just funny.” (Ashley, 00:42)
• Discussion of a Vogue article declaring “having a boyfriend is embarrassing”—the hosts riff on changing relationship labels.

2. Introducing Ashley’s Husband

• Shashank (“Chunky”/“Shonky”) joins the show on camera for the first time. The couple and Rayna settle on playful nicknames for him.
• Rayna: “I think people are gonna be really into his voice. He’s a great radio voice.” (Reyna, 02:11)

3. Wedding Planning: Vision & Key Players

• Shout-out to wedding planner Jacqueline, “She ran that four-event wedding like the Navy.” (Ashley, 06:51)
• Advice for listeners: “Sit down and think about your personality and what you do want. Because the formality and traditional wedding vibe was what I wanted to be so far from.” (Ashley, 10:43)
• The couple did most of the wedding their way, with minimal parental interference, and encouraged others to do the same.

4. The Four-Day Wedding Experience

Day 1: Courthouse & Family Meet-Up

• Marriage certificate obtained at L.A. courthouse with an LA-ballot & palm trees moment.
• Nail salon run-in: Ashley sits next to Sean William Scott (“Stifler” from American Pie) and his daughter—a delightfully surreal pre-wedding bonus. (12:14)
• Families meet at Ashley and Shashank’s house—gifts and emotional exchanges.

Day 2: Haldi Ceremony & Halloween Party

• Haldi: Pre-wedding Indian blessing ritual with turmeric paste and marigolds.
  “His mom gave me the bangles she wore on her wedding day.” (Ashley, 94:34)
• The cultural blending of Ashley and Shashank’s backgrounds is front and center.
• Rayna’s gig holding the tapestry over the couple’s head—she needed backup due to lack of height! (21:47)
• Halloween party at Gold Diggers, a boutique L.A. spot with recording studio roots.
  Costumes: “Corey and Ham…dressed up as Hulk Hogan and Macho Man!” (25:41)
  Everyone—from newlyweds to parents—dressed up and partied hard.

Day 3: Main Event – Wedding Day

• Prep: Room service, family and friends bonding, chaotic but loving glamour sessions.
• No first look: The couple wanted the aisle moment to be fresh.
• The venue (W Hollywood): Rooftop city views, stunning décor, and personalized touches. The significance of W Hotels (first night together was at W Boston).
• Ceremony: Rayna officiates; light roast, lots of heart, and some sex-toy jokes. (Cue much laughter and some “cuck” confusion among older relatives.) (69:56)
• The Haldi ceremony, family involvement, and emotional vows (many tears held back, or not!). “It was perfect from start to finish. I mean, you hit all the…marks.” (Shashank, 70:17)
• Reception:
  • Party energy: Drumline by BD Entertainment, non-stop dancing, champagne tower, churro bar, bottle service parade.
  • “The way people committed to the costumes…it just warmed my heart.” (Ashley, 89:41)
  • Tables arranged for maximum mingling, not tradition-bound seating.
  • Unscripted transitions—“the doors open and everybody just walked in and we just started dancing.” (Rayna, 38:31)
  • “The last song of the night, it was always gonna be We Found Love by Rihanna. It just…felt like the club.” (Ashley, 46:54)
  • Speech highlight: Ashley’s dad drops “the hottest line I’ve ever heard in any speech of all time. The entire room got up standing, screaming, crazy.” (Rayna, 47:37)
  • Iconic lounge seating for the couple: “I’ve never seen that at a wedding…we sat like right on the dance floor.” (Ashley, 48:46)

Day 4: Aftermath

• Informal Sunday hang with friends and family—grieving the end of such a loving, high-energy event.

5. The Egg Carton Saga

• A running gag: the couple’s engagement story features a humble egg carton, which ends up as the wedding ring box.
• “She had Jay bring up the egg carton. And it…everyone’s like, what the fuck is that?” (Ashley, 83:45)
• Egg carton even joins the couple on their mini-moon in Napa.

6. Honest Talk: The Post-Wedding Crash

• Both hosts and Shashank detail the overwhelming sense of sadness and emptiness following the conclusion of the wedding.
• “The post wedding crash is like childbirth. No one is talking about it and everyone is experiencing it.” (Ashley, 108:08)
• “It’s such a void. I have not felt a void like this in a while…all the people you love the most, and then it just ends.” (Ashley, 110:16)
• Multiple friends report similar depression and lethargy.

7. Family & Cultural Reflections

• Ashley and Shashank share heartfelt reflections on family values, cultural blending, and the acceptance and support felt from both sides.
• “Your mom has four sisters…you hear this like the aunties are going to be judging you…and they just weren't. They were gifts.” (Ashley, 93:58)
• Emotional exchange between their dads, both stoic, non-mushy types, touched the whole family.

8. Practical Wedding Advice

• Be intentional: Don’t lose your own vision to others’ expectations.
• Details matter: Write a shot list for your photographer; you won’t remember everything in the moment.
• Being present is a challenge—find ways not to get “pulled in 100 different directions.”
• Give yourself more time than you think you’ll need; the day moves fast.
• New traditions: Ashley skipped cake for a champagne tower and a churro bar, focused on the dance floor, and made every element reflect their personality as a couple.
• Let guests mix and mingle: Non-traditional seating, no forced transitions, and maximum fun over rigid formality.

9. Relationship Q&A (with Shashank)

• On planning: “Probably less than 20%. Being totally upfront. Like, in terms of vision…” (Shashank, 61:37)
• The two “collaborated” on essentials (guest lists, invitations), but Ashley led the aesthetic.
• “Every time we conquered something…a seating chart, we felt like we did this together.” (Ashley, 62:43)
• Music preferences did spark some lighthearted conflict: “You just wanted everything to be Beyonce from start to finish, and I wanted everything to be Drake…” (Shashank, 63:13)
• First time having sex used a condom—prompted eye-rolling from Ashley, and playful retelling.
• New post-marriage habits, including Shashank peeing in front of Ashley: “It’s not for me…but, you know…” (Ashley, 115:53)

10. All the People That Make a Wedding

• Emphasis on including longtime friends as emcee, videographer, etc., for deeper meaning.
• “It means more to have him there. And, like, you could have hired any emcee, but it means more to have Bobby there. Like, it was just nice to have these additional touches…” (Rayna, 37:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Marriage Looks Good On You:
  “She’s a wife. Can you believe it? How chewy is that?” (Ashley, 00:33)

• Best Wedding Advice:
  “This is your dream…there’s no other time in your life that I know of where you truly will have all these people…Closest to you…all there to support you and celebrate your love…Sit down and think about your personality and what you do want.” (Ashley, 09:54)

• Cultural Blending (Haldi):
  “Our florist…got all the marigolds in LA. I guess they’re kind of out of season. He found a farm. He was like, give me all of them. He went all the way off.” (Ashley, 20:39)

• Unscripted Joy:
  “No one got their seating assignments. Like, the doors opened and everybody just walked in and we just started dancing.” (Rayna, 38:31)

• Dad Speech Drop:
  “Your dad dropped the hottest line I’ve ever heard in any speech of all time. The entire room got up standing, screaming, crazy.” (Rayna, 47:37)

• On the Post-Wedding Crash:
  “It is such a real thing...no one has mentioned this…It feels really different. And I really feel for people who the planning has taken over their life, and then you have this wonderful experience, and then it is abrupt.” (Ashley, 108:38, 112:32)

• Advice for Grooms:
  “Be mindful… when it’s your wedding, you’re getting pulled in 100 different directions and by the time you finally…find yourself on the dance floor…you’re nearing the end of it.” (Shashank, 97:19)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Ashley and Rayna Joke About “Wife” Status: 00:32–01:16
• Introducing Shashank (Ashley’s Husband): 03:35–03:59 / 57:14
• Shout-out to Wedding Planner Jacqueline: 05:35–06:51
• Nail Salon with Sean William Scott “Stifler”: 12:14
• Haldi Ceremony, Indian Cultural Ritual Explained: 20:39–21:43
• Grand Entrance at Welcome Drinks: 19:52–20:16
• Halloween Party at Gold Diggers: 23:05–26:10
• Drumline & Reception Dance Floor Debut: 32:15–38:58
• Dad’s Epic Speech Moment: 47:37–48:44
• Photo Booth and Churro Bar Fun: 43:12–44:18
• Everyone Gets Horny at the Wedding: 44:33–45:33
• Iconic Egg Carton Moment: 82:37–84:17
• Family Meetings—East meets West: 92:24–95:05
• Post-Wedding Crash: 108:08–112:32
• Shashank on Collaborating & Music Fight: 63:13–63:34
• Ashley’s Sneaker (Sambas) Wedding Tip: 56:29

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Closing Thoughts

This Girls Gotta Eat wedding special is more than a recap—it’s an insider’s, comedic masterclass in how to make your wedding personal, communal, and unforgettable, while keeping it real about the tough emotional fallout on the other side. The episode blends practical advice, relatable chaos, and hard-won wisdom, all delivered in the hilarious, open, and supportive tone listeners know and love.

For future brides, grooms, and wedding obsessives, this is essential listening—plus, where else will you get egg carton lore, Beyoncé vs. Drake wars, and a sneak peek into the actual Girls Gotta Eat family?

Transcript

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I was like, where the fuck is Ashley? And I'm, like, walking up the stairs with a bunch of stuff in my arms, and she's, like, hunched over the island.

[Ashley Hess]

Sabi, this podcast is a Dear Media production.

[Reina Arena]

Hi, guys.

[Ashley Hess]

Hi, guys.

[Reina Arena]

Welcome back to another episode of Girls.

[Ashley Hess]

Gotta Eat special recap episode.

[Reina Arena]

Yes, we're married.

[Ashley Hess]

She's a wife. Can you believe it? How chewy is that?

[Reina Arena]

No, I like it. I could believe it.

[Ashley Hess]

People just the whole, like, oh, my God, like, you're a wife. Marriage looks good on you. Like, it's just funny. And like, then there's one person in my comments, like, start having babies now. It's like, you're new here. Welcome. Let's not say that to anybody, but especially not to me.

[Reina Arena]

Well, I think you got in right under the gun because Vote Vogue has announced that having a boyfriend is embarrassing, so you can't have one of those anymore. And we are going to do, like, a full episode about this. And it's so big on. On TikTok right now. But Vogue really ran a big article being like, you can't do this no more.

[Ashley Hess]

I know. And it's just. Had it said, like, having a husband is embarrassing. I would be like, shots fired. Cancel the wedding. What's acceptable? Fiance.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Being engaged is, like, kind of chic.

[Reina Arena]

It's chic because it's temporary. You know, it's. It's a.

[Ashley Hess]

You know, it's a phase for some people.

[Reina Arena]

For some people.

[Ashley Hess]

No. So, yeah, I have a husb. He is coming on today. Yes, he is. Big reveal.

[Reina Arena]

Second time ever, but first time on.

[Ashley Hess]

Camera, because I've never seen him. We say his name.

[Reina Arena]

I tagged him before you did. I didn't realize it.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, it's fine. It's fine. It's just kind of like, you know, I don't think he should get a name till we're legally bound.

[Reina Arena]

No, I agree.

[Ashley Hess]

You know, like, I think we did this right.

[Reina Arena]

I think he should be unsure if you're gonna stick around.

[Ashley Hess]

Exactly.

[Reina Arena]

Announce names on the show until the.

[Ashley Hess]

County clerk receives that marriage license back. It's not official. And you don't get a name on this podcast now you get a name. It's just. It's a nickname.

[Reina Arena]

Do you think people are gonna be really into his voice? He's a great radio voice.

[Ashley Hess]

He has a great voice.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, that's the thing. Like, the second I heard his voice at the show in 2021 and, like, couldn't really make him out in the crowd. I heard the voice first. And I was like, oh, wow, okay, he's a great voice. I mean, you know how big that is for me. I feel like I led the charge years ago with how important voices are. Not a hot take, but I went out with that guy, the voice of Michael Jackson. It was such a shock. And then right after that, Hinge started doing voice memos. So it's so important, I don't know, that I could get past a bad voice.

[Reina Arena]

I'm just trying to think if I dated anybody that had a bad voice before, nobody comes to mind.

[Ashley Hess]

It's. It's just so important, but also what we do for a living, so. But yeah, you guys will hear his voice soon, but let's thank our partners, and we'll get to it. All right.

[Reina Arena]

Thanks to Squarespace. Get a free [e-mail] GGE and use code GGE for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And BetterHelp get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com GGE and Skims shop.

[Ashley Hess]

Our favorite pajamas at skims.com and thank you to ZBiotics. Get 15% off your first order at ZBiotics.com DGE with code GGE and thank you to Storyworth. Ooh, it's that time of year again. Get $10 off or more at story storyworth.com GGE and thank you to Saks Fifth Avenue. Head to Saks Fifth Avenue or Saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style. Also, I wanted to say. So he. He brought his iPad. When he. When he comes in, he has his iPad. And we never addressed it, but it was, like, kind of a bit.

[Reina Arena]

I thought it was so cute and professional. Like, he, like, need it. Yeah, I know he brought it.

[Ashley Hess]

And he was going to make jokes about the charging whole situation that I've talked about on the show. And so when you just see it, just know that he was mocking us.

[Reina Arena]

I thought he was trying to be, like, professional and prepared. No, I was like, that's so cute.

[Ashley Hess]

No, but, like, I. We talked about the things we were going to ask him because I wanted him to be prepared. And, you know, an hour before we were getting ready to leave, I was like, do you feel good? You nervous? You want to prep? He was just laying on the couch with his ul. He was like, I'm fine. I was like, okay.

[Reina Arena]

He's like, you guys will handle this.

[Ashley Hess]

If he is nervous about something, I can. I can never tell. He stays very composed. Like, I'm a neurotic. Crazy person. And he is just always like, he can say like I was so nervous and he, you'd never know it. It's a nice quality.

[Reina Arena]

We talk about it in the episode later on, but like how nervous all three of us were during the ceremony. And I really, I thought he was gonna be a wreck and just. Cause you and I speak for a living. He doesn't and couldn't tell.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. I mean it's a male trait too where if I'm the slightest bit nervous, anxious, panicked, I tell everybody.

[Reina Arena]

I have to tell everybody.

[Ashley Hess]

I announced it. I mean I announced it in the bridal suite. I'm crashing out a little in the elevator. Hey guys, I'm panicking.

[Reina Arena]

I don't even have like that block where like this should be some self talk. I have to say it right now. And I have and I just like five minutes later I'm like, why did I terrorize everybody around me? But like I can't stop.

[Ashley Hess]

I think it's nice. I think you always know where you, you stand with us. Like you don't even have to like dig for it. You don't have to pick up on the signs. I'm telling you exactly how I'm feeling at all times. Absolutely.

[Reina Arena]

I've never had a thought or a feeling I didn't need to tell somebody. Like what are those people? Like, I can't even imagine what it is like to like think a thing and your brain says don't say it out loud.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

Can you imagine?

[Ashley Hess]

No.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

No.

[Ashley Hess]

Can't relate. So we are recapping the wedding today. We had on my wedding planner, Jacqueline a few weeks ago with the wedding plan and company. You guys loved that episode. It was so special. And we didn't really share a lot of the details of the wedding of course. So we're gonna share some of those today. And I just wanna start by thanking her and again hyping her up and you know, she's gotten some inquiries from our listeners and we love to hear it. And she was just the best and she really helped my dreams come true in terms of having this wedding. That was everything I wanted.

[Reina Arena]

She is just. I woke up the day after your wedding and I, I texted her thank you.

[Ashley Hess]

She's still getting all these messages. She was like, your brother messaged me. My mother in law messaged her. I was wondering like, dude, I mean.

[Reina Arena]

I guess wedding planners get a lot of messages the next day, but like from somebody like me who's not she. That's not my wedding. Like I woke up and I was like, that's the first person I have to text and just like, it's not like a hot take, but like, I needed an Advil. And she was like, I will have a bottle of Advil in front of you in five minutes. Like, I needed to know when to be in hair, when to be in makeup. She just had an answer for everything I said to her. Like the outfit I was going to marry you guys in. This belt wasn't like, fitting. She was like, I'm going to sew it on to you. Just give me a second. Like, she is unreal. And it wasn't my wedding.

[Ashley Hess]

She ran that four event wedding like the Navy. And there was this one point where I just wanted a straw all night. Like, I wanted a straw in my drink. And, you know, I wanted to drink out of a straw. Whatever I was drinking and want to mess up my lipstick. And I was on the dance floor. Louisa's ponytail whipped my straw out of my drink.

[Reina Arena]

She was dancing the hardest.

[Ashley Hess]

But she posted it and she is our friend who has gone through chemo and she was able to keep her hair and her hair looks better than ever. And it's just like I could cry just thinking about it. But she posted this Instagram story and like, she was like, look how thick this ponytail is. It was whipping around on the dance floor so much that it took the straw out of the bride's drink. And something, something she wrote, let me cook. I laughed out loud. Did you see it?

[Reina Arena]

You love let me cook. Nothing makes you laugh harder than let.

[Ashley Hess]

Me say let me cook. But her ponytail whipped. Took my straw out of my drink in second. Why was Jacqueline right there? Straw in the drink?

[Reina Arena]

That's insane.

[Ashley Hess]

Just. She had a straw on her.

[Reina Arena]

She just probably has one of those, like belts with like everything. There's like safety pins, there's straws, like, there's deodorant. I like that you thanked her before.

[Ashley Hess]

Your, your husband, he, he's like, he has the floor today. No, it, you know, the wedding itself was just my dream come true. I mean, I had all these ideas and wanted to make it feel like a party and this whole vision and didn't want to feel like a stuffy wedding and having this Haldi by day and there' Halloween party at night and the welcome drinks and just all the vibes and with the help of her and her team, obviously. It, she had two other planners there on the, on the day of. And throughout the weekend. Gabby was there, who was wonderful throughout the weekend too. It just really all came together. And, you know, we're gonna share a lot of the details today. We think you guys want to know that. And some of our favorite moments and things that went down and some tea. But I guess my advice to anybody to kick it off is to think about what you want for your wedding and the vibes and the look and the feel and just try your hardest to make it happen. Like, I know that it can be tough when your parents are paying for it, but it should be what you want. There is no other time in your life that I know of where you truly will have all these people, all the people closest to you. If you choose to do a large ish wedding and not elope or have a tiny little wedding that are all there to support you and celebrate your love. And if your dream wedding is to get married outside in the elements with 15 bridesmaids and have a reception in a rustic barn with a three course seated dinner and dance to Sweet Caroline, you do you. If that is your dream, which is.

[Reina Arena]

A lot of people, that sounds kind of nice.

[Ashley Hess]

I've been to that wedding.

[Reina Arena]

I don't want to be outside ever.

[Ashley Hess]

I've been to the wedding in the barn with Sweet Caroline and, you know, and it couldn't be me. And that's what a lot of people want. But if you don't want that and you want something different, just really try to. I just kept thinking that, like, this is my dream. Like, this is what I wanted. Obviously my husband and I planned it together, but there were no parents weighing in. And we wanted to do things our parents would appreciate and things like that. But that's just my advice. Like, you should have what you want and pay for it. I mean, you got to pay for it. But I don't know. Like, I think my parents and his parents too, if they were paying for it, they still would be. Let us do what we wanted, but they would certainly have more of a right to weigh in. So that's just really overall, like, I think people look back and maybe they're like, I let the wedding get away from me and planned and it's not what I would have wanted. And I just think you have to sit down and think about your personality and what you do want. Because the formality and traditional wedding vibe was what I wanted to be. So far from. You did it. Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

I like that you spread it out over four days. And I know that everybody can't do that. Not everybody, like, gets married in the town that they live in. But, like, I like that it was so spread out and a lot of people do the last, like a third day on Sunday and people are hungover. Yeah, I mean, if you could do a Thursday night.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, yeah, I guess, like, that's why we didn't plan anything for Sunday. And we did all end up Sunday in the courtyard with some family and whoever was out there. And it really was nice. It felt like a nice send off brunch, but it wasn't an official event. I think you have to consider, like, what you're asking of people too. But also, like, come or don't. But I have never really loved the Sunday send off vibes. I would so much rather be in for a Thursday welcome drinks. But also plenty of people can't come Thursday. But we say four official events, but over three days. But four days for, like, close friends and family. So it all started on Wednesday, which was such a fun day. We went to the courthouse, we got our marriage certificate, which is just so quick and easy. I just. Everything in la, I just feel like it's always so easy. It was so nice, so beautiful. Palm trees. I walked across the street and voted for Prop 50, which passed like. I was like, what a glorious day. Then you and I got pedicures. I sat next to Stifler, which was crazy. Raina was at the nail salon and she was like, I have a special guest for you to sit next to. I thought it was our friend Jackie. I go, jackie? Let me guess. And she were like, someone marginally more famous. And I go into the salon and they sit me next to Sean William Scott from American Pie.

[Reina Arena]

My girl Jessica, she was like, we have a special chair for Ashley when she gets here. And I was like, what? He was so hot.

[Ashley Hess]

So he was there with his daughter.

[Reina Arena]

Oh, they were so cute.

[Ashley Hess]

They were so cute. She was getting her pedicure and her nails done. She was in the chair, and he was just sitting next to her. It was the cutest thing.

[Reina Arena]

It was so cute.

[Ashley Hess]

So anyway, that happened that night. We had people over at our house and our families met, and we'll talk about that more when he comes around and you were there when he spins the block. And that was just really nice. But we do talk about it more when he's there. And then Thursday we got up. My best friend Corey and her husband got in town Wednesday night, and so they stayed the night and we got up and just. I don't know, they, like, we made breakfast. He made burritos for them. And it was just this, like, lovely moment. And then we had to pack the car. And I will say, I do not know how people do destination weddings because we could barely fit everything in our car. And I know you have shipped things. And you, you also get married somewhere where they're doing a lot of the stuff, you know, like, we were bringing some stuff for the weekend. Like, not all the stuff. We'd already dropped the gift bags off, but we had a car full. And I guess, like, my Indian outfit did take up most of the car.

[Reina Arena]

Mine too.

[Ashley Hess]

Right? But, like, my wedding dress. Like, I have so much respect for people that put their wedding dress on a plane.

[Reina Arena]

I don't know how people do it. I don't know.

[Ashley Hess]

Destination weddings just couldn't be for me. You come to us, like, that's the vibe. Like, I can't imagine packing for my wedding. I gotta get on a plane for my wedding.

[Reina Arena]

Thank God Jackie was at my house when I was packing and, like, taking the Uber to the hotel to be with you guys, because I, I, I had too much stuff.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes. Like, Raina, I. Like, we could barely shut the car. I was always in here. He was like, please help me. He was, like, surrounded by stuff. So I was just like, how are people doing this?

[Reina Arena]

Don't people buy an extra seat on the plane for their wedding dress? Isn't that, like, a thing?

[Ashley Hess]

I don't know.

[Reina Arena]

That seems like a lot of money to spend.

[Ashley Hess]

You sometimes see people and they. They can hang it in the little closet that the flight attendants have, but only, like, one. So you got to, like, reserve that shit.

[Reina Arena]

You have to ask ahead of time.

[Ashley Hess]

I don't know. It's just a matter of, like, if.

[Reina Arena]

It'S available or what if you have, like. Okay, so my Indian outfit had, like, that hula skirt.

[Ashley Hess]

The can.

[Reina Arena]

Can underneath, like, that wouldn't have fit in the closet. Like. And a lot of wedding dresses have that.

[Ashley Hess]

I think that obviously things can be shift ship a wedding dress. Well, my wedding dress got shipped from London to here, but it didn't have that.

[Reina Arena]

Like, most. Like, a lot of wedding dresses have that thing under it that make them puffy, but that can be shipped. Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, every time you order them, they gotta be. Everything's shipped from somewhere. Not everything is made down your home to order.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So I guess you just ship a lot of stuff. But it was a journey, like, getting there, and we got there, and most everything, with the exception of the Halloween party, which we'll talk about, took place at the W in Hollywood. And if you've been listening, you know that our Journey started in the W in Boston. And I talked about it a few weeks ago when I ended my tour and W Boston did all these things. And I kind of say the wedding venue then, but now I can talk about the significance of this hotel brand for us and that the first night we spent together was in the W in Boston, and they've been so wonderful. When we were there recently, they did the room number and all the things and that we were able to get married at the W in Hollywood. And it wasn't like we sought that out. I told Jacqueline what I wanted early on. I wanted this kind of city vibe with, like, city views. And I didn't want, like a carpeted ballroom. And I wanted floor to ceiling windows and, like a rooftop energy. And this was the most perfect option. And they just stepped up and, like, did everything. Like, it couldn't have been more perfect. I mean, the colors. They just did a renovation, like, years ago. It's the most beautiful, stunning, chic hotel. Like the lobby where we had the welcome drinks, there's like all this green velvet, this staircase that we took photos on. And the outside patio is where we did the holiday ceremony. And the colors were so right. The chairs were yellow and the greenery. And then to have the ceremony and reception on. And they call it the loft on the rooftop. And basically we like, flipped the room. So during the ceremony, it was this very white flowers, ethereal, dreamlike vibe that I wanted. And then they flipped it in under an hour completely. Like, these vendors went all the way off. And then you came in and it was a darker, moodier, sexier vibe. But I just wanted to thank them and their team and go there and get married and tell them, you want the copy paste Ashley special. Ask for Akash and he will hook you up. They just did everything. The food was incredible. Everything was amazing. So I really just. I liked that everything was there.

[Reina Arena]

There was parties every night.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And then you're down in the lobby every night.

[Reina Arena]

Every night there was just a party in the lobby. And we just got to, like, take over the lobby every night. I didn't have to go anywhere. When I was ready to go to sleep, I was horizontal in 30 seconds. Like, man, it felt like a destination wedding. I mean, it is far from Venice. It is like an hour and a half from Venice.

[Ashley Hess]

Our friends that came from the west side in traffic.

[Reina Arena]

I was like, sit over three days.

[Ashley Hess]

I live.

[Reina Arena]

I was like, I live 10 miles from here. I stayed over three days. I mean, it just was like, it's really far from my house. It just was, like, so nice to be on one property. Those are always my favorite weddings. Always, hands down, like, even locations I've, like, complained about having to go to, like, the middle of nowhere in New Jersey or Pennsylvania, I always kind of bitch about it. But then, like, you're there, and you're like, I just get to be with somebody all day, every day. Every time I checked in, there was a million people. Everybody lobby. Like, it just. You were never, like, not with people.

[Ashley Hess]

That's the thing. And I talk about a little bit more in the second half of the episode. Just why you crash from that so hard because you're just surrounded by all the people you love most in the world for days on end. And, yeah, every time you look, there are your friends and family or at the bar, and then people are meeting from both of our sides, but also from different times in our life, and everybody's becoming friends, and it's just so special. And I had had this vision, I will say, to do the welcome drinks in the lobby. There's these gorgeous green velvet couches. Like, it's stunning. It's just so beautiful. And initially they were like, we can't, like, reserve the couches, right? Like, you can't reserve the lobby. And Jacqueline was like, okay, watch us. So she got them to agree to reserve, like, an area. And the way we took over the entire lobby because so many more people came than we expected, which we will talk about later. Like, we had the whole lobby. It was so beautiful and special.

[Reina Arena]

I didn't realize that you reserved part of the lobby. What were they going to do? People were there paying money. I moved there.

[Ashley Hess]

It all worked out. But I think they soon realized they have the whole lobby, and that's fine. And they had servers for us. And before we came down for the welcome drinks, he was like, I have a gift for you. And he brought me into the, like, dining area of the suite, and there was this Cartier box on the table, and I just, like, burst into tears immediately. He had known that I wanted a Cartier tank watch, like, for years. Like, just so thoughtful. So nice. It was such a, like, special way to start the weekend. I did not expect that. And then, of course, we went down. We had this entrance coming down the stairs that wasn't even planned. Like, we just stayed on the second floor. The suite was on the second floor. It's called the Vista Suite, if you guys want to check it out.

[Reina Arena]

That wasn't planned that you guys did that?

[Ashley Hess]

No, we. Our suite was on the second floor. And so I'm like, all we have to do is go downstairs. Let's take the stairs. I shudder to think if we would have been on a high floor and just took the elevator down to the lobby and just walked in from the reception desk.

[Reina Arena]

So, you know, I missed it, and I'm really upset about it. It's one of my greatest regrets in life. I. Cause I told you, it's the only event that I was late for. I was 15 minutes late. Yeah, you came to rehearsal dress. I didn't. I missed it by a couple minutes. And then I saw these videos of it and I was like, God damn it.

[Ashley Hess]

We'll post a video if you guys are watching on YouTube. So we just had the idea last minute. I'm like, all we have to do is walk down. We look out, there's 70, 80 people there. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I see Caleb, who is my best guy friend from high school, who came from Prague. I see my mom. I'm like, oh, my God, everyone's here for us. And so we, like, come down. Everyone starts clapping and cheering like, Bobby. Bobby got a video of it. I was like, what an entrance to the weekend that was unplanned.

[Reina Arena]

It's a grand wrap around the whole lobby staircase.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, it is such an unbelievable yes.

[Reina Arena]

Oh, I really know. I saw videos of it. I was so upset because I didn't. If I knew you were gonna do some big entrance, I would sit down on the floor just, like, cheering about it. Didn't know it's the only thing I was late for. Everything else, I was on time. We'll talk about it later. But, like, people just really, every minute of it soaked it up.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And the next day we did a holiday ceremony, which we'll talk about a little bit later, too. But if you guys don't know, this is a pre wedding ritual in Indian weddings where you have this paste, it's made of turmeric, it's yellow, and you apply it to the bride and the groom to bless them and purify them. And so we did that and we got all dressed up, and his mom spoke about the significance of the haldi. And it was just gorgeous. Our florist, Patrick from Once Upon a Florist, got all the marigolds in la. I guess they're like, sort of out of season. He found a farm. He was like, give me all of them. He went all the way off. The marigolds looked insane. And it was just really stunning. And you guys all came up and did the turmeric paste, and towards the end, people put it on his face and stuff like that.

[Reina Arena]

But so your husband's mom, she introduced what the ceremony was, and she was like. And basically, like, we have people that are special in their lives. Hold up this. I don't know, you call it like. It's like sort of like a chuppah in Jewish weddings. It's just like this. This, like, I don't call like a sheet. It was like a beautiful draping. A tapestry above your head.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. She's like, since given it to me. It's really special. We'll put this up.

[Reina Arena]

But she's like, where's Raina? And she calls these people up. And I'm too short to hold something above your head. And it was so embarrassing. And I'm standing there with it like, my arms outstretched. I'm like, how long do I have to stand here? There's 150 people here. How long do I have to stand here?

[Ashley Hess]

I think traditionally it stays up the whole time. And I was like, there's people or poles. I don't know for sure. Maybe I should have looked this up. But they were like saying, like, traditionally, yes, somewhat people would hold this the whole time. I'm like, literally, who. Like, my arm gets tired if I scroll movies on the plane for too long. Who has like, I can't have that kind of strength. So. But Raina just couldn't. The height was not there. So we called my sister in law, Steph, to hold it up. And four people are holding the corners of this over us, and it looked really incredible, and we got the vibes. But then it was human poles. We were able to put it away. You know, we did the significance of it, but I was like, there's no way these people are gonna stand here for the next hour. I would feel bad.

[Reina Arena]

I didn't know what I was gonna do when she called me up there.

[Ashley Hess]

I was like, oh, no.

[Reina Arena]

Oh, no.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So it was really nice, and that was just really special. And then we had a Halloween party that night, which is just a wild day to go from a haldi to this Halloween party.

[Reina Arena]

I was. The holiday was wrapping up, and my makeup artist for the evening texted me, I'm in the lobby. And I was like, oh, no, you.

[Ashley Hess]

Didn'T get any break.

[Reina Arena]

And then all those girls came up to my room. I was in the room with like six girls, but I mean, that is relaxing for me to just be able to like, sit, put a robe on. But I was like, oh, no.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, my gosh. We went up to the room and like, like, were able to lay down a little bit and eat some pizza and get ready for the night. And so we had a Halloween party. He and I dressed as Batman and Catwoman. It was the hottest I've ever felt, wedding included. I was like, I'm wearing this tomorrow. He looked so hot. I just felt that was my favorite costume I think I've ever done.

[Reina Arena]

Absolutely.

[Ashley Hess]

That we pulled together in a week. Thank God.

[Reina Arena]

Thank God we did this. Listen, your other one would have been cute, but this was like.

[Ashley Hess]

No, it was like, so special.

[Reina Arena]

And it was special. Cause, like, it was a black costume, it was a red room. It just like, looked really, like, spicy.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So we did it at this place called Gold Diggers, which I was thinking, like, okay, I want to do a Halloween party. I want to do it off site, but in the area, like Hollywood, East Hollywood, West Hollywood. And there's just a cute origin story. I mean, Gold Diggers is a boutique hotel and bar, speakeasy vibes, and a recording studio. And you and I recorded there when they were pretty new in 2021. And we recorded some episodes there. And I know one of the owners, I know I'm from Atlanta, randomly. And so I remember when we went there, they showed us the bar and gave us a little tour. And I was like, that place is so cool. And it really just fit the vibe. I want this, like, kind of. It did feel old school Hollywood, like glam. Like it was dark and there was chandeliers, but not in like a overly pretentious way. I mean, it's still kind of like a speakeasy ish vibe. And there's a stage.

[Reina Arena]

There's a stage.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, there's a stage. So we just did it there. They were so wonderful. And you guys should, like, check them out. They do like a bunch of fun stuff. Just like check out their Instagram, check out their website. They do events, like, all the time. It's just like a great spot. And we had this DJ named Teddy Rockspin, who was just incredible and played like a lot of old school stuff. He just absolutely crushed it. And we a costume contest and the way people committed to the costumes, I mean, that they traveled with them like Corey and Ham. This is my best friend and her husband. They showed up to the house with a huge suitcase. I was like, what is in that? So they dressed up as Hulk Hogan and Macho Man, Randy Savage. I, I the like, details and the accuracy. We had Fresh Prince Of Bel Air. Whole cast, group costume, Jersey Shore costume, Power Rangers. Power Rangers. Kate and Chad did Power Rangers Coldplay. Kiss Cam two people did that costume.

[Reina Arena]

Our friend Taylor and Blake were. Yes.

[Ashley Hess]

From White Lotus. And he had a blender all night.

[Reina Arena]

He was drinking out of the blender. He just kept filling it up with beer. It was really committed.

[Ashley Hess]

I know. And like, they. Everybody just really did that. Like, I thought some people were going to be like, all right, there's a. I gotta. Brought a lot of stuff. I'm just gonna throw on a cat ears or something. And people went all out. And we just had the most fun. We were on the dance floor like, how are we gonna do this again tomorrow? My whole body hurt from dancing.

[Reina Arena]

And then we went to a party after. We went to the lobby of the W, and they were also having a Halloween party. We just stayed there and partied. Like, I don't know how we stayed out so late.

[Ashley Hess]

So we got in the lobby and we realized the W was having a party in my lobby. Couldn't believe it. I was like, I thought this was my hotel, but I guess you guys are gonna do other stuff here. So anyway, so my, you know, fiance at the time was like, I want to go. And. And I was like, I don't want to go. I'm so tired. Like, I don't want to. I just want to go to bed. Like, we're getting married tomorrow. We've been out all night. And he was like, well, I just kind of want to have, like, a beer with my friends. I'm like, yeah, sure, you should go. I'm getting ready to go up upstairs. And then, like, so many of my friends were like, we're going to the bar. I was like, okay, I'll go to the bar. She was like, oh, now that Taylor.

[Reina Arena]

And Blake are here.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, he really was like, you were not trying to do this. And I stayed out for one. Another two hours.

[Reina Arena]

It was so fun.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

It just. I couldn't go to sleep. I don't know how much you drank. I really tried to keep it in check and, like, force myself to not have. I think I had three drinks total from the beginning of the Halloween party. What, at seven? Until we probably went to bed at, like, one.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

And one of them was beer.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

Drink a lot of beer that weekend.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. I don't know. I did just, like, keep it in check too. Like, I had a high noon at the. At the after party. I probably had two tequila drinks at the Halloween party. I mean, I just didn't need alcohol. Like, I wanted to have a drink in my hand, but I never need it. And I had so much adrenaline, and I didn't want to ever feel hungover at all. At all. I just.

[Reina Arena]

I have had events in my life I spent a lot of money on, and I've drank, and I don't really remember them. And those are some of my biggest regrets in the world that, like, I spent all this time and money and, like, I remember every minute of your wedding. Like, I just never was really drunk.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So that was that. And we wake up the next morning, and we talk about a little bit with him, but he and I were just able to relax in the morning, order room service, and finish the Love is Blind reunion. And then I just start getting ready. And you came in, and my mom was there, and she got hair and makeup, and Stephanie came in, and we had an amazing glam team. Mego Hair did my makeup, and Valerie from Bobby Pins and Blush. Those are the women that did it. I have a wedding highlight on my Instagram. I tagged everybody. I want to, like, make sure everybody gets, like, thanked, and if you guys are curious on who to use for these types of things. And they were just incredible. And everybody looks so great. And it just started to get a little stressful. It just felt like all of a sudden, it was like, go time. And it took longer to get me into my dress than I anticipated. It was tight. It took three people to get in. Jacqueline had to be in there. She was like, I've never lost a battle with the dress that I'm not going to start today. Okay, it fit, but it's the buttons. There's so many buttons down the whole back, and they don't have any elastic. So it just has to be everyone that's gotten me into it. Whether it's tight or not, it's tough to button all those buttons, and you just need an extra hand. And so they were in there. And we did a first look with my dad and my brother, which was really cute. And the boys, my nephews, were in there.

[Reina Arena]

Wait, I have to show you this photo. I want to put it up on the screen. But we initially redid the first look with your dad outside. And next to the hotel, there's this giant, like, poster, like a movie poster of somebody, like, smoking a cig. And it's this, like, beautiful moment of you, but from my angle, this. This giant movie poster behind you. But it's just like, I'll send you. I'll send you the film.

[Ashley Hess]

It could Be worse. It could be like a maga billboard. Literally. It could be Kristi Noem. No, like in the airport vibes.

[Reina Arena]

You had great videographers, photographers all weekend. And they took. They did it from a different angle, but we were on the. Like, on a roof, essentially. So the angle I was at was very funny.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And to your point, like, Ryan, who has done all of our girls gotta eat shows and was there the day we all met. Me, you, my husband, and Ryan were all there in the same room the night that we all met in Boston. So he's just been a part of the story the whole time, and he shot the whole entire weekend, and he was there, and that was really wonderful. Just have him there. Like, those are the people that are with you the most, like, intimately. It's like your video and photographer team, if they're there from the start. And I had this wonderful photographer named Jess McDowell. You guys can see her photos, obviously on Raina's Instagram. On my Instagram. She's just like, incredible. She really captured every moment. And her photos look insane. And I'm gonna have them all back next week. This week at this point. And then we went into the ceremony. We talk about it a little bit more later. And Rayna crushed it. It was like, so funny. There was just some things I did not expect you to say about Ryan, about your own family. I just was, like, up there, like, laughing, laughing.

[Reina Arena]

Thank you. I wanted it to be fun, but I didn't want to, like, take it too far with, like, the. I didn't make fun of anybody, you know, it was just. I really wanted to be funny and not just, like, sweet. And I knew that your guys vows would be really heartfelt and sweet and meaningful, so wanted to add a little comedy and obviously bring up my longtime love for Ryan.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, my God.

[Reina Arena]

I also brought his girlfriend up.

[Ashley Hess]

She's listening. My. His vowels had some light humor, but mine had punchlines. And both of ours were obviously so heartfelt, but he had some light humor in his too. He brought up a Boy Meets World reference, which was, like, really cute and special. So it was just. It was. The ceremony was great. And we did our photos. We didn't. We missed the cocktail hour, which is just sad. Like, I'm sure it was so fun. It looked so nice. And we just didn't. We didn't do it. We. He didn't want to do a first look. He wanted to see me coming down the aisle for the first time. And I was like, great. I don't really care. Either way, I'm down for either. But I also liked us having a grand entrance at the wedding. And I did a little bit of a look change. I brought my hair down, and I took the little sleeve things off my dress, and so I had that. And I liked having the entrance, but I still miss the cocktail hour.

[Reina Arena]

I mean, I don't want to be like. I don't want to tell you it was the worst part of the weekend, and so you didn't miss anything. I mean, it just.

[Ashley Hess]

Just.

[Reina Arena]

It was really beautiful. It was out of the pool on their roof deck, and, like, the views are just like 360 views of Hollywood. But listen, if you skip a thing, that's the thing to skip.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. You know? Yeah, it was really.

[Reina Arena]

It was really nice.

[Ashley Hess]

It just looked like it was. The sun was setting, and it's just, like, stunning. And I chose the food, and I'm like, I want one of those sliders. Like, I chose that sliders for mini quesadilla.

[Reina Arena]

Even, like, the mini pretzel sticks were pretty good. It's just good.

[Ashley Hess]

And then we did our entrance, and we wanted it to be really fun. So Bobby Westside, who is a close friend of ours who was there the whole entire weekend, and he just creates such incredible content. And he's such a great emcee. He's emceed so many Girls Gotta Eat shows. He was the emcee, the master of ceremonies for the evening, and he absolutely crushed it. So he announced us, and we walked in and we walked into Nice for what by Drake and had a whole drum line. And I feel like I'd been teasing the drumline throughout the day, the wedding planning process. And I really did it, and it added such a special, fun thing. I think people were, like, blown away. You don't see that every day. So the drumline. I just wanted to talk about them because I've gotten a lot of questions, like, I want a drumline or for some event, you know? And this is the company that we have used for all of our shows that we've had drum lines since the start. So they're called BD Entertainment, and they work with a lot of professional sports teams. So the Golden State warriors, the 49ers, the Giants. So every time we have the Giants Giants drumline at our New York show, like, they are in charge of that, but they also can create a drum line in any city. So they have performers in every major market in the US there's no, like, fly. You got to fly people out and pay for Their travel and things like that, which is can be the case with certain types of entertainers. And they really just played such a role in making this so high energy and unforgettable. Like the drummers came out first, they did like cadences, they played this song and then we came out and then they had these LED light up drums. Their LED panel drums are the most advanced in the industry. I mean, the lights were going crazy. It's such a fun element. And we have loved working with them and I just really wanted to plug them because they've been doing our show since 2023 and they really bring such this energy to any event. And like anybody can have a drum line. So we don't want to gatekeep the drumlines anymore.

[Reina Arena]

They were so fun. Yeah, they really were.

[Ashley Hess]

They really were. And then a couple of the drummers stayed around and came out later in the night and they were giving us the drumsticks. Like this picture of Chad where he is like about to hit the drum. It's just, there's a lot of fun action shots like with the drummers too. So just wanted to let you guys know and you can connect with them. Their website is BD Entertainment, which BDE is their brand. Easy to remember you guys. So BD Entertainment.com and their Instagram is we are BDE underscore. And so that's how we've been doing it all, all these years. That that's now.

[Reina Arena]

You know, Bobby's so interesting to me because like most people in the world would be like, these are my best friends. I'm not trying to work at this wedding. I want to be a guest. Like I. We've known Bobby almost 10 years. Like most people would be like, I'm not trying to be at work at this wedding. Bobby just shines.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, he wants to do it.

[Reina Arena]

Yes, he wants to do it. Like he feels the opposite. Some people be like, I'm best friends with these people for 10 years. Bobby's like, of course I'm gonna work this wedding.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. I mean he. His reels are second to none and they just keep getting better. So if you guys want to go watch the reel that he made for the Halloween party, I asked him to do that and was like, you don't have to to do it. I just know he want.

[Reina Arena]

He's gonna do it anyway.

[Ashley Hess]

So I was like, I want to get this up the next day. Can you put it together? And I don't know if I told you this at the end of the night, I was standing There with him and Ryan. And Ryan was like, ash, I just want you know that, like, I really want to get you a video from tonight, like, for you to post tomorrow.

[Reina Arena]

Because I know it's like, oh, sweetie.

[Ashley Hess]

And Bobby goes, nah, that's my job. We had a little bit of a moment where, like, they were funny. They're friends.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Literally. Bobby was like, bro, I've been doing this real. Like, I'm on.

[Reina Arena]

I'm.

[Ashley Hess]

I was hired tonight to do it. Like, they had this moment. I was like, ryan, no, you're off the hook. I. Like, I didn't even tell you to do this. Like, I. I'm having Bobby do it because I wanted to post it the.

[Reina Arena]

Next day because we actually wanted to get it on time.

[Ashley Hess]

Stop. Ryan's been great. I have the whole ceremony in my Dropbox. But, yeah, I don't want someone to feel like that. I don't want someone to feel any sort of responsibility at something like this or even nerves. I felt bad asking my brother to do a speech, because I know he'll be nervous all day about it. But too bad. You got to do a speech. Everybody wants to see it. And so Bobby's like, I would love to work. I'm born to do it.

[Reina Arena]

He would have been insulted if he didn't work that wedding. He would have been.

[Ashley Hess]

He. He just, like, he emceed the wedding. Like, a girl's gotta eat show, which is what I wanted. Like, the energy, the tone, the volume, the hype man of it all. It lends itself to be the energy. Like, they. They set the tone.

[Reina Arena]

I just like that all these people were involved in it that are just like our longtime friends. I mean, Ryan also is not a wedding videographer. He, like, for weeks, was like, I have all these checklists. I'm renting equipment. Like, I'm making sure. He had a friend who's a wedding wedding videographer. He got all this advice from her. Like, it was important to him that, like, he do. He's a concert videographer. But it means more to have him there. And, like, you could have hired any emcee, but it, like, means more to have Bobby there. Like, it was just nice to have these additional touches of, like, not random vendors, but, like, people that mean so much to you.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, my. I know. That totally, like, that was such a part of it. Well, I don't know if you'd hire. I don't think you'd hire an emcee. I think the DJ usually does it.

[Reina Arena]

Bar mitzvah's hire oh, they hire. You get, like a hype man all the time.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. I just think usually wedding, it's the dj. So we will talk about the DJ and hype him plenty in the second half. But I did ask him. Our first call, I was like, is it going to step on your toes to have you not emcee this wedding? He was like, no, I don't need to emcee your wedding. Like, I.

[Reina Arena]

Different skill sets to me.

[Ashley Hess]

And he's. He's not on the mic. Like, Michael Leary is the goat. And he was. Every time he got on the mic, you. You were there for it. But he didn't emcee, nor did he want to. Different skill sets. Yeah, so that. That was great. I mean, we'll talk about it a little bit more, but just. It was everything I would have wanted. Like, dancing all night. Like, I wanted people dancing before they ate. Like, really, like, come in hot. My vision was that people are already on the dance floor before we walk in. Well, people.

[Reina Arena]

No one announced it. Like, do you. Like, they opened up the doors and everybody just walked in and we just started dancing.

[Ashley Hess]

Are you serious?

[Reina Arena]

Like, there wasn't like a. Let's find out. Is that really what happened?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Stop.

[Ashley Hess]

That was my dream.

[Reina Arena]

No one got their seating assignments. Like, the doors open and everybody got on the dance floor. It wasn't like, let me see about the food. And also, like, there was, like, a natural progression. People just started to get dinner at some point, and they went back to the dance floor. There wasn't like an announcement of, like, time to sit down, everybody. Time to dance, everybody. It's just like, doors open, dancing.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, that's exactly what I wanted. And you can't force people to act like that. And luckily I was like, I know how cool these guests are. I know our friends and family, but you. The vibe has to be right, and you can't force it. And so I was like, the vision is that the doors open from cocktail hour reception. He and I aren't there yet. We're going to do our grand entrance, 15, 20 minutes. I want people fucking lighting up the dance.

[Reina Arena]

Immediate dance.

[Ashley Hess]

Can't force them to do it. And so I told Mike, here's the songs I want you to play. I'm so devastated that I missed him because I'm sure there were some bangers. And that's what happened. And when we came back up to do our entrance, someone said to me, like, everyone's on the dance floor. And I was like, really? That's, like, all I wanted.

[Reina Arena]

Immediate Dancing. Just. No one even, like, thought twice about it. Just straight in.

[Ashley Hess]

And we did our first dance to Blossom by Dermot Kennedy, big Dermot Kennedy couple. So we did that, and I wanted to keep it shorter. I find the whole dancing with everyone watching just not. Not my vibe.

[Reina Arena]

I liked it.

[Ashley Hess]

We did.

[Reina Arena]

You did one slow song?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And then we brought the families out, and then everybody came out. We did a whole thing.

[Reina Arena]

So I danced with our agent.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

No.

[Ashley Hess]

Can I tell you, I kind of sprung this slow dance moment on everybody. I was like, grab whoever.

[Reina Arena]

I didn't know if you were gonna do any slow songs. And there is always that moment. I mean, I will say about your wedding, we didn't really talk about this. I think that at the age of 40, it is a lot of people's nightmare to be single and go to a wedding. And you had so many girlfriends there in just, like, different phases of life. Like, there were so many girlfriends that were single at that wedding and so many guy friends that were single. And, like, I think that's a moment when I've been single that I have dreaded the most. The moment where everybody goes in slow dances and you're just, like, the odd man out. And, like, that just wasn't your wedding at all. Like, everybody was on the dance floor. But I was wondering if you were gonna do one slow song.

[Ashley Hess]

That was the one slow song. And it was impromptu. I'm not gonna get into it. There was a little bit of a snafu, and I got the mic and said, everyone, slow dance. Basically, I feel like. Like, this sounds crazy, but that's what happened. It just. The flow was so perfect, and we had place seatings, but again, it was not a seated dinner. There was these stations, if you guys are curious. I never tasted the food, by the way, at all.

[Reina Arena]

You never ate it?

[Ashley Hess]

I never tasted it prior, but there.

[Reina Arena]

Was these, like, stations set out all over the room. There was just sort of, like, a natural progression to People, like, started to kind of wait in line and grab the food. But, like, I like that there wasn't this moment of, like, everybody has to sit down now and everybody has to get served. And, like, I sat at, like, four different things. Tables.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes.

[Reina Arena]

I got up and bounced around the tables, and, like, that was really fun. And I don't know how you did it, because it wasn't this, like, this is what we're gonna do now. Really rigid thing. But it, like, everybody just kind of naturally did those things.

[Ashley Hess]

It's exactly what I wanted. And Jacqueline helped me create That. I mean, and that's what we did with the table. So we had some 10 tops. We had some four tops, like, with some high tops, like, and then we had the lounge seating, which I'll talk about. But, like, we set it up to. To feel like this. I mean, this is why there is, like, a floor plan. And you really do do it differently than a bunch of, like, formal tables. And the food. I mean, we did exactly what you'd expect from me. We did a taco bar. We did a pasta bar. We did a salad bar. Like, chopped salads. And then for desserts, I did a champagne tower in lieu of a cake. I was like, the moment I want is the giant champagne tower. It was incredible. They're called bottles and blooms. Like, seven, eight tier. Like, that was the moment we had. I sabered. I poured it from the top. I had to stand on a ladder. Like, that was my cake. But I was like, I do think people will want something sweet. Jacqueline. I saw in the W's, like, 10 page PDF of food options, a churro bar. I was like, let's do a churro bar. Reena. People never eat dessert at weddings. And the churros are, like, every photo.

[Reina Arena]

Piles of churros. All these men are just, like, feeding each other churros of, like, sexy churro photos. People were bringing it over to the photo booth.

[Ashley Hess]

Can I just talk about the photo booth? They're called Coastal Cam photo booth, and we'll tag everybody and all this stuff again. Just look at my wedding highlight. So the owner is a woman named Brittany, and she was a fan of the show. She's a longtime listener. And when we did Jacqueline's episode, she, like, tagged us in a story or something like that. And that's how it all came together. And I got to see her for a moment and talk about, like, how much the show has meant to her and stuff like that. But the photo booth was so perfect. And a lot of times the photo booth gets ignored at weddings. Like, a. The placement of it was great, but there was this. The way it looked was so good. The printouts looked so good. We were able to do our little crest on it. Okay.

[Reina Arena]

You know what I really hate is when you go to a photo booth and they'll only print out one. They printed out as many photos as everybody wanted, and then you text yourself the photos. I was in a photo with, like, 10 people. They did 10 printouts.

[Ashley Hess]

People wanted to do it. Sometimes it came in the middle of the room.

[Reina Arena]

Like, some people put it off to the side in like another room. Like it was just in between the churro bar and the taco bar.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yes.

[Ashley Hess]

It was like very visible. But also my whole dream of wedding was one big room. I don't want you going anywhere else. Like, I've been to weddings where there's little off places. People are like doing their own thing. I want everyone together and I want everyone like on the dance floor. But I just, I loved it. The photos were gorgeous. She sent some like templates for how we wanted things to look. And the backdrop, like, I just think photo booths can feel cheesy. Like the sign. So they did like signs instead of like a bunch of. Of silly props. Yeah. Like there you could hold a sign up that said different things. That was like fun. Like, I just feel like it's this element of weddings that A can be ignored or B can just be kind of like a corny afterthought. And this was perfect. So I can't recommend them enough.

[Reina Arena]

I just, I feel like you people ignore them because they're not in the room with you and you gotta go somewhere else for them.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I think you're right. It was like the most words just is right there. Get your churros. So all the guys took a picture with like the churros. Like they were cigars. I was like, oh my God, I saw them. I was like, babe, you gotta get over there and get in this churro pit. He was front and center.

[Reina Arena]

They were feeding each other churros. It was a whole thing. People were horny.

[Ashley Hess]

It was sexual. So we've been talking about this. Like a lot of people who were like married or in relationships were horny for other people. Like, I have different thoughts on. I don't need a deep dive on why. I just think certain people are maybe like exposed to another kind of person they don't really see on their day to day. Like, I don't know. I don't. It just.

[Reina Arena]

It was a horny wedding.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

People that you did not expect were acting very horny for other. Other people.

[Ashley Hess]

People who were not available. Like, not in a trying to cheat way. Well, maybe one person cheated, but like, not like not on their spouse. Just, you know, some shit went down.

[Reina Arena]

At one point I was sitting the chorus, like me and Ryan and two of our girlfriends. And we're watching at the bar, two of our friends, one is married and another friend, he is running game on her for an hour. And I'm just laughing the whole time because, like, nothing's gonna happen. She's Gonna go back upstairs. Her husband happen. But like, I was like, he is sinking so much time and energy. No.

[Ashley Hess]

And I don't want to make it seem like we had a bunch of people at the wedding that like, wanted to cheat on their spouse. I mean, I think no one did. That was not the vibe. It was just like, people were like, who is that? And I'm like, our friends are just so hot. That's what it is. That's what it boils down to. My mom at the welcome drinks was like, your friends are so gorgeous. Like, I. It's. It's like, hard to comprehend all these gorgeous women around. Like, that's how we do it. So the reception was just everything I would have wanted. Like, the bottle boys and the champagne moment really turned it into a club. So my goal was like, what moments can we do that aren't traditional, that aren't a cake cutting, that aren't a garter, bouquet toss or whatever the fuck. So I was like, I want to have this champagne tower. And I did the saber and did the whole thing. But before that, I was like, I want bottle boys, like bottle girls at the club, and I want them to be the biggest men in the room and I want them to have sparkling champagne bottles. So I was like, I want to put sparklers on the top. Jacqueline was like, you can't have sparklers. You'll set the fire alarm off and they'll clear the room and they won't let you back in. I was like, noted. She was like, get flasher strobe light things from Amazon. I ordered them, we put them on the bottles, and the guys came out. I was like, play bottoms up. Immediately they come out in that moment, I was like, it feels like the club. The last song of the night, it was always gonna be We Found Love by Rihanna. It's just my favorite hype song. And so I was like, last song of the night is gonna be We Found Love in full. Ashley.

[Reina Arena]

I thought we were gonna to break the floor.

[Ashley Hess]

The floor was shaking.

[Reina Arena]

I mean, shaking. I was like, I don't know if it's safe, but if we die, we all die.

[Ashley Hess]

Literally. Jack. The next morning, Jacqueline sent a video of the champagne bottle, like, next to the tower. The tower was shaking. The floor was shaking.

[Reina Arena]

I thought we were going to collapse the floor. I just. We were dancing so hard. It was rocking the building.

[Ashley Hess]

It was crazy. Concrete floors.

[Reina Arena]

It was crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. It just. Everyone felt like really present. And we did speeches and my. My brother, my sister in law, my new sister in Law and my parents spoke and we don't have enough time here today, but it was unbelievably iconic.

[Reina Arena]

Your dad dropped the hottest line I've ever heard in any speech of all time. The entire room got up standing, screaming crazy. Our agent looks at me and goes, I'm about to book him a tour.

[Ashley Hess]

I literally get on the mic, I'm like, where's his Netflix special?

[Reina Arena]

I got up and ran across the room.

[Ashley Hess]

Unbelievable. It was unbelievable. And this will be promo for my special. We will clip it. You guys will see it. But my brother, I mean, hilarious. Like, people were like, oh, I get it. You come from this family. My mom, like, and my mom started out and place, like, both of my parents just roasted me. And then after my dad brought the house down, my mom had to be like, let me end this speech with, like, some nice stuff. And my sister in law, like, her speech just brought us all to tears. I mean, and we'll talk about it more in the second half, but. But during the speeches is when he and I sat on this, like, lounge area. And I've never seen that at a wedding. Like, A, we were never gonna do a sweetheart table, but B, even at our own table, like, turned around. Like, he and I got to sit. Like, the two lounge seatings were right on the dance floor. And that's where we sat. And it was like, I couldn't believe it. I was like, jacqueline, God, you are just a genius.

[Reina Arena]

Like, for photos. I liked it too.

[Ashley Hess]

How much better? The photos are insane. Like, he and I die and laughing, and then everyone behind us, us, like, applauding or laughing or smiling, and we're just on this, like, green velvet banquette. Like, I. Everyone should do this. Like, things like that. Set the vibe. I know.

[Reina Arena]

Damn, Jacqueline.

[Ashley Hess]

So this has been a lot, but if there's anything you guys want to know, just.

[Reina Arena]

Just listen to the second half of this episode.

[Ashley Hess]

Ask me anything. Yeah, we talk about a lot in the.

[Reina Arena]

It really, it was just. It was the best four days. It was so much fun. It was so much love. It was so many, like, young people. Everybody just, like, traveled and got into it. And it was like, like so sad the next day that people were leaving that I was like, come over. Like, you all came over and, like, hung out. We watched football. Like, Rob, Bobby and Andrew and Brenna, Megan, Jackie, you. It was just, like, nice to have a few people around because, like, it is. We'll talk about it later. But it is crazy to be with that many people and then be alone.

[Ashley Hess]

And Then be alone. Yeah. And like walk into an empty house and just completely just break down. Which we will talk about.

[Reina Arena]

I walked into my house and Andrew Collins said, I broke your blinds. No, they just broke the. I don't know how to fix them. So now I have to fix that.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, my God. I used to break Rob's blinds all the time when I. That's probably. You should tell them about that. It was just incredible. I obviously love that you were there for every moment of it. You know, such important part that you played in it. And just everybody. I mean, I have never felt so loved and so grateful. And I hope I got all my thank yous out today and we'll continue to do it. I mentioned a prenup. I'll talk about next week. I'm gonna do a whole thing. I have a lot of feelings about it too. Positive. So that was just like another element that we'll discuss at a later date. But. But it was perfect. It's been sad that it's over and I. I will like elaborate on it more, but it just feels like. So this whole year went into planning this and we really did it. And we got in under the gun before really all of this. Airport flight shutdown happened. I mean, this was a fear, you know, even at the beginning of the year. Like, shit was like on fire, quite literally in la. But like the world was just on. I'm like, how bad is it going to be? Like, are we going to be able to have a wedding in November? Like, is this crazy? Like, is it crazy that we're even gonna be celebrating in 10 months from now in the state of the world? Like, all the planes were crashing. Like, that was such a crazy time. And I was like, what is this gonna be like? And everyone made it. I don't. I think some people canceled a couple weeks prior, but no one, like, didn't make it. No one felt disengaged or like they didn't wanna show up for every single thing that they were in town for. I mean, it's just overwhelming in the best way.

[Reina Arena]

The timing is crazy. Cause I went to New York the day after your wedding and within, what, five days, all the air were shutting down and there was like pandemonium and it was hard for me to get back and my plane kept changing and it really. I mean, one week later, it would have been a real problem.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So hope you guys enjoyed and we brought you along on the ride. And we will continue to talk about it with our guests today. But we're just Gonna talk about a couple of our partners.

[Reina Arena]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I mean, Ashley and I have used Squarespace for our website since the beginning of the podcast. It is my favorite platform to build a website on. It is an all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and exceed online. So if you're starting out, you wanna manage a growing brand and you wanna create a beautiful website and just engage your audience, it is the best place to do that. And there's all of these great design intelligence tools. I mean, that to me is probably people's number one reason why they don't start a website is they don't even know like where they're gonna start. But they have design intelligence where AI technology will help you do like the strongest creative potential for the website. They're gonna help you with fonts and layout. It just looks so beautiful. There's so many options. You can do Squarespace payments with it. So they're going to help you to integrate all these different things. And I mean, you go to Ashley and my website, we have every episode that we've ever done, there's a link for merch, there's live shows, there is everything about the podcast and all the press we've done. I mean, it is just so versatile. So if you guys are thinking of starting a website, definitely check out Squarespace. You can sell content, there's tons of SEO tools, all kinds of design tools and more.

[Ashley Hess]

Make it so easy, simple for you guys.

[Reina Arena]

So you can head to squarespace.com GGE for free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use GGE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. And we are coming up on gift giving season. If there is someone in your life, a parent, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, that is really hard to shop for, this is the most perfect gift. So Storyworth Memoirs are going to be the most incredible gift for your loved ones this holiday season. It might sound a little bit intimidating, but it's so easy. They're gonna love it. And it's just a gift that they won't see coming. And it's just something that the whole family can appreciate. We have done this for my mom, my dad, my cousins have done it for my aunts and uncles. And the way that it works is you will make your purchase and then each week Storyworth is gonna email a loved one a memory provoking question that you get to choose so they can pick them for you or you can get in there and obviously customize it yourself. But it might be questions like, what were your favorite toys as a child? What are you most proud of? What was your first job? You know, a lesson you learned at a certain time in your life. And all they need to do is respond to that email with a story. Super easy. Rain and I have like looked in. Our dads are like typing away doing their little story worth. It's very cute. They can write a story over email or they can record it over the phone for storyworth to transcribe. No, I don't even write it out. Yeah, so that is a great feature. It's so easy. There's no apps or passwords, passwords required. It's perfect for even your least tech savvy relatives. So there's no excuses for them. And then after a year, they're going to compile your loved ones, stories and photos into a beautiful keepsake hardcover book. The photos are printed in vibrant color. The book is beautiful. It doesn't feel like a, I don't even want to say. It wouldn't feel like a cheap photo book. It's just so far from that vibe. It's just such a keepsake and you guys can share and revisit it for generations. This year they added a bunch of new features to make the storytelling even easier. Personalized questions and a magic editor. Their magic layout and their new book designs make finished books and especially photos look even more beautiful. They've also rolled out Spanish language support. So we're just obsessed with it. We love these new features. We've been talking about them for years. We both used it. They have printed over a million books. They preserved 35 million family stories since their founding 13 years ago. They have over 48,000 five star reviews on Trustpilot. And we just love it and we truly think it is the perfect gift. So give your loved ones a unique keepsake you'll all cherish for years. Storyworth Memoirs right now, save $10 or more during their holiday sale when you go to to storyworth.com GGE that's storyworth.com GGE to save $10 or more on your order.

[Reina Arena]

Okay. And I'm telling you guys about skims pajamas. I mean I truly have their soft lounge set in every single color. I sleep in them. I wear them all day. It's very important to me to like have pajamas that are comfy. And I really just slept naked most of my life. And I've really started to enjoy sleeping in pajamas because of this lounge set. It is so soft. It looks so Nice. It comes in a bunch of colors. I just like the way it feels on my, my body and it really. Because, like, holidays are coming up. It is the perfect gift for anybody. So women, men, kids, they have stuff for pets even. But really nice pajama sets. I just, they're really important to me. I like having them. Yeah, they're super important in my life. I just, I like to have like an around the house look. And these just fit so nice. They look really classy. They're lightweight, they're soft. I really can't recommend them enough in any color. And skims has tons of gifts, gifts for everybody for the holiday season. So I love their bras, I love their panties, but the PJs really go off and there's always new stuff. So you can shop our favorite [e-mail] and after you place your order, let them know that we sent you. You can select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the skims holiday shop is now [e-mail].

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, and I did just want to mention I didn't mention this before. These are the shoes I changed into at my reception. Did you notice?

[Reina Arena]

Wait, no, I knew that you did. And I meant to tell you, I went into your room earlier in the day and I didn't know if those are yours or his because I was like, those are so fly. I feel like he would wear those too.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, we both wanted to change into sambas. He actually never did. But I was like, I want to put on sneakers on at a certain point. And like, what better than like a gold sneaker? So anyway, this is a wedding recommendation I have is like, get a sneaker you're excited about.

[Reina Arena]

Totally.

[Ashley Hess]

And that has, you know, the gold or, or silver or something like that. Anyway, so I didn't mention them earlier, but I wanted to shout it out.

[Reina Arena]

I love a sneaker with a gown. Put on my air force ones. I couldn't wait. With like a sequin gown.

[Ashley Hess]

I loved it. Okay, well, let's bring in our guest.

[Reina Arena]

Okay, guys, we have an extra special, maybe the most special guest today. He is the artist formerly known as Ashley's fiance, currently known as Ashley's husband. Please welcome to the show Shashan Greenberg Hasseltine.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Hey, Greenberg Hesseltine.

[Ashley Hess]

I like that for you.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

That's terrific.

[Ashley Hess]

S G. Thank you. Sgh.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yes.

[Ashley Hess]

Let's roll with it. Okay. Formerly known as Sparkle Eyes and Ashley's fiance. Because I refuse to call you my husband over and over and over on the show.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I'm just happy to see sparkle eyes go.

[Reina Arena]

What are we going to call you now? We voted on it as a family.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

We're going to go with Chunky. Shonky. Some iteration of that.

[Reina Arena]

Well, our group name. Our group text name is Shonky Tonk.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

So some version of that that you.

[Ashley Hess]

Do have a lot. You have your name Greenberg. And then there is. I like Shonky. We call you Shonky between us too. And then I think I wrote Chunky and it just. And it. I just didn't fix it. It just autocorrected to Chunky and then we turned into chunky. But someone says chonky, you Chunky, you say sometimes. Okay, so there are. Whatever you guys are feeling.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Whatever.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And let us know where you guys would prefer to have us be sitting for this viewing experience. Because we couldn't decide. We were like, are people gonna be like, oh, my God, Ashley's married now, so she has to sit with her husband and abandon Reyna on one side? Or are people gonna think it's weird that we're not sitting next to each other and so abandoned me? Let us know in the comments what you prefer. Obviously this is what we went with, but we might switch.

[Reina Arena]

Well, Chunky also was like, people see us together enough, meaning the two of them. And I was like, I think people see us together a little bit more.

[Ashley Hess]

More, actually. More Twice since 2018, our whole lives, hundreds of shows.

[Reina Arena]

I think people have seen us sit next to each other a couple times.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I had a bad moment.

[Ashley Hess]

No one's seen you at all.

[Reina Arena]

So you.

[Ashley Hess]

You came on one time and Voice of God, kind of Voice of God.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Just in the background.

[Ashley Hess]

Audio only. Like two years ago, probably exactly November 2023.

[Reina Arena]

Yes. So welcome back. We'll have you on in two years from now when you guys have kids.

[Ashley Hess]

Every time. So first question post wedding, when are you guys having kids?

[Reina Arena]

No, when you put that on the outline, I was like, is there something that I don't know.

[Ashley Hess]

I was doing a bit.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Oh, you don't want to have kids?

[Reina Arena]

This is a weird way to find out.

[Ashley Hess]

We've never talked about this. We talked about it night one. We talked about the very first night, like in the W in Boston after you came in a condom, everybody.

[Reina Arena]

You guys had sex with a condom the first time? I think I did know that.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. Ashley couldn't have rolled her eyes harder.

[Ashley Hess]

I was like, well, you know why?

[Reina Arena]

Because you wanted to use a condom?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I was like, use a co. Just being safe. It's the first time I've met this person.

[Reina Arena]

Why did you roll your eyes?

[Ashley Hess]

I'm just joking.

[Reina Arena]

Okay?

[Ashley Hess]

I rolled my eyes when it was.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

All right, cut that. Whoever that is. Cut it, Clip it, cut it.

[Reina Arena]

We talked about this.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Oh, yeah, that's right. It was not my greatest performance.

[Reina Arena]

It's gotten better.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It was intimidating. I was nervous. I thought you would be, like, listening in, like, the next room, cup on the door.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, Reina was two doors down, crying. So we have talked about the room 1112. Reina was like, 1114.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, we walked by it.

[Reina Arena]

They're always like, do you want to be on the same floor as your friend? I'm always like, I know. Nothing interests me less. I don't need it. That one time in Miami, they put you right next to my room, too, when I was there with my ex.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, my gosh. And every time I walked by and, like, the do not disturb thing was on the door, I was like, ew, stop. And then the other time we were on the same floor in la when we were visiting is when was I. I popped in and you had all the security cams up because you were watching Below Deck. But it is very funny to think that, like, we had sex the first night, and I was like, I don't know. He, like, didn't really make much noise, and it comes out later. He's like, I just thought Rayna would be at the door listening.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

That's what it was. I was even more self conscious about it. I was getting super judged by two of you.

[Reina Arena]

Now you can make as much noise as you want. You're married. What am I gonna do about it?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. Still using condoms.

[Reina Arena]

Well, we're really excited to have you here. To recap, really, what I would say is, like, the best four days of my life.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, we'll see what happens. No, it was the absolute best. I couldn't have imagined a better day. Days.

[Reina Arena]

Now, I do wish you were sitting here because I just want to interview you. How involved? I guess you want to know maybe, like, how involved he was in the planning. You want to start there?

[Ashley Hess]

What a good question. How.

[Reina Arena]

How involved do you feel like you were? Like, how much input?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Probably less than 20%. Being totally upfront, like, in.

[Ashley Hess]

In terms of the vision, I guess.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Which. Yeah, I think people, you can tell this was like my. But I asked Shashank early on, what do you want to incorporate from Indian culture?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

You didn't Just, like, steamroll me. I was like, yeah, we're not doing that. That's crazy. And you were like, okay, well, you know, we found a compromise, and we figured it out. So, like, I'd say I had some involvement in.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. He was like, I want to do this holiday ceremony, and how do we want to do it? And he had input into the florals and things like that. But I led the charge with Jacqueline, obviously. We had a planner and Shashung that we talked about in the podcast. The first time we were on a Zoom call with Jacqueline, we were still long distance.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Ye. I was in Boston. Right.

[Ashley Hess]

So I was like, it was so hot to see him pop up on a Zoom. You know what? And. And then we planned a lot together, like work when it comes to guest list, website invitations, seating charts, all that stuff we did together on the couch. And it was really nice. It felt like doing a project with someone you really care about. It felt really like when we stuffed all the gift bags, which.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

When I stuffed all the gift bags.

[Ashley Hess]

But the gift bags never been a whole thing, but gift bag gate. But we spent a whole Saturday doing gift bags. Like, all the things that we did together, I really enjoyed them. We never had any conflict or disagreement, and it makes you think about couples that are planning a wedding and, like, fighting about stuff, because that just couldn't have been farther from the truth. Every time we conquered something, a seating chart, we felt like we did this together. We nailed it.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

We disagreed on music a little bit. There was a little tension there.

[Ashley Hess]

What?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Cause you just wanted everything to be Beyonce from start to finish, and I wanted everything to be Drake from start to finish, which we found a middle ground. Here we are.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. There was, like, a moment where I was like, what's the song? As soon as Reina announces that we're married and we do the kiss and.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Do the dip, I said Family Ties by Drake, and she said, no, baby, stop.

[Ashley Hess]

Family Matters. What a fan. So I was like, big Drake fan or me, I'm gonna kill myself. So I was like, I want Crazy in Love is obviously the vibe. Obviously. I'm sick of Crazy in Love. I walked out to it every stop of my tour. I'm sick of it too. But it is the perfect song. It hits immediately. It's energy. And I was like, I'll do a different song if you come up with something better.

[Reina Arena]

When I found out what song you were walking out of the aisle to, I only, like, really lost it two times during the whole wedding. It was when I actually not When I locked eyes with you, it was. When I looked at Shashank, I. I just. I saw him in his outfit with Azul, and I just, like, really had a hard time getting through it. And. And when I heard what song you're walking down the aisle to, I was like, I'm not gonna be able to deal with this.

[Ashley Hess]

I could cry right now. I walked down to the instrumental Halo by Beyonce. Shashank walked down to instrumental 2009 by Mac Miller. And we walked into the reception to Nice for what? And we had the drum line and everything like that. And we'll talk about that more on the intro. But, yeah, music was, like, a huge part of it. And the DJ was this really special thing which I've shared who it is. His name is Michael Leary. And one Sunday on the couch, just in, I don't know, March or April or whatever, in the spring, we were just like, let's put on some music. Let's find like a DJ or something to vibe to while we cooked breakfast and hung out and lounged on Sunday. And we found this guy, and he does this thing called Sunday cleaning. And he DJs from different places and a lot around New York, but now he's going everywhere. He's done, like, San Diego and LA and all this stuff. And we just loved him. We were so into him. We just became instant fans. And I put him on my Instagram and tagged him and just wanted to show him some love. He hearted it, whatever. But then. But this girl, like, a girl's gotta eat listener, a follower of mine slid into the DMs. She was like, oh, my God, that's Michael Leary. He's my fiance's friend. He's doing our wedding. And I was like, what?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Now he's doing our wedding?

[Ashley Hess]

He would do a wedding? Because he's not a wedding DJ. He's like a badass. Not that wedding DJs aren't bad, you know? Like, I was just like, sounds like he'll make exceptions vibe. So then we already kind of had a DJ booked, but then it fell through, and I was like, jacqueline, do you care if I just, like, pursue this other thing? And we got in touch with him, they responded, his manager responded, and we, like, worked it out with him. And to have him there, this guy that we're, like, fans of, to talk, be on, you know, calls with him and meetings with him and all figure out together. And when we told him what we were going for, he was so impressed. Like, he was like, oh, my God, you don't understand what a relief this is. A couple that. And, you know, we told him, like, don't play songs for the older people. We don't care.

[Reina Arena]

The whole wedding was like 80%. I say young in quotes because we're.

[Ashley Hess]

All in our 40s, but yeah, there weren't grandparents there. I mean, there's. You had some, like, aunts there and aunts and uncles, but he was just such a big part of it. And obviously the whole night everyone was like this dj.

[Reina Arena]

It was so fun. It was such a party. And like, also all the things you're saying. Like, I think that people are on this timeline to like, get married by the time they're like 27, 28. And, like, I cannot encourage people to get married later in life as much as possible because, like, I think all the time about planning my wedding and how, like, I wasn't allowed to make any decisions because I wasn't paying for it. And, like, 70% of my guest list was my parents friends and his parents friends. And, like, nothing was decisions of my own. I didn't feel like I certainly wouldn't have ended my wedding feeling like I collaborated with my fiance on all these decisions. Like, it's nice to wait a little bit longer. You have to pay for it yourself.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, and just to close the loop on Mike, because I want you guys to hype, like, follow him. And you guys are like, have this. He sent you a voice note the other day. I was like, in tears.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

A real, like, software salt of the earth guy. He's just like, such a nice person. He, like, so well intentioned. Just, like, really wants to make sure everything he's doing is, like, for you. And like, you, you know, you feel like he's doing it right. And like, I don't know. We had a long conversation after when everything was wrapping up. We talked about music. We, like, really got in the weeds about some, like, some music stuff. I have a nice gift for him. I'm gonna send him. So nice, probably make him cry.

[Reina Arena]

You do like sending gifts.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I love sending a gift. But he's.

[Ashley Hess]

He like, said something that a lot of people said. And was that, like, you guys, like, senior love, like, inspired me. And it's like, I don't think he said these exact words, but we heard this throughout the night. Like, you made me believe in love again. Or like, I. I want to find.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

You something like that? Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

It gives me hope, like, meeting people like you. And that's a testament to us as a couple. But everybody around, like, I think he was like, these people in this room, these families, these friends, like, are such good people. They're such. Such, like, good energy and good vibes. And, like, we have a single friend. She left me a voice note. Was like. Saw her ex recently out, and she was like, after being at your wedding, it made me be like, I don't want that. I don't want him being around you guys makes me be like, that's what I want. And that's all I ever wanted. I wanted people to leave the wedding and say, that was the best time of my life, and they're really in love.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Right.

[Ashley Hess]

And that's what you want. Everybody did.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

And I want that for myself. That's what.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Well, let's talk about the officiation, because you guys sat down and talked, like, privately.

[Reina Arena]

So. Yeah, I. I had never initiated a wedding before, and you had asked me to officiate it. I was really excited and nervous, and I purposely decided to not sit with you for too long. Well, at all, really, because I spent every week talking to you about how you feel about him, and I wanted to talk about our relationship and how you speak about him every week, but I wanted to sit down with Shashank, and I recorded you. I remember I accidentally deleted all the. The notes I took so far.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Terrific.

[Reina Arena]

I don't know how I did it.

[Ashley Hess]

Notes. Like, written notes.

[Reina Arena]

I took notes while I was talking to him, and I recorded it so I could gift it to you.

[Ashley Hess]

Aw.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Oh, it's in your trash bin still. Just go in your trash bin.

[Reina Arena]

No, I don't know where it is.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I'll find it.

[Reina Arena]

Anyways, I recorded it.

[Ashley Hess]

I heard you guys up there laughing.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Boy, were we.

[Reina Arena]

But I was asking him how he feels about you and marriage and a lot about his family and his family background. I'd never met Shashank's family previously. I met his sister once. But I know actually your family so well. And your parents have been married. Is it 42 years now?

[Ashley Hess]

That sounds about right.

[Reina Arena]

I'm pretty sure it's 42 years. It might be 43. And you're so close with your sibling. And, like, I just realized in talking to Shashank how similar your families are. And his parents have been married for 39 years. He also has a sibling that's close in age to him that's the opposite sex. And it was so clear to me talking to him, like, why he has very similar values to you. And it was just. It made writing the speech really nice. And you both allowed me to kind of Joke around in the speech. And I had. I had asked Shashan kind of joke around.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

What really ran with that.

[Ashley Hess]

Just. She made a few jokes.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

A couple.

[Reina Arena]

Just a few.

[Ashley Hess]

Just a few little light things to light.

[Reina Arena]

What the.

[Ashley Hess]

That was just like punchline after punchline. It was like. Which went in line with everybody who had a mic. The whole weekend was like a roast vibe.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I will get my joke in. If I have a microphone, I will get it in.

[Reina Arena]

But I wanted to lovingly roast everyone. I think I took everybody on a real wave, a real roller coaster of, like, really, really sweet. Well, you could talk about it if you want.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, I mean, it was perfect from start to finish. I mean, you hit all the. All the marks. You know what I mean? We were able to talk about the story, the. The beginning, everything. In the middle of it, talked about my family and, you know, us moving here from. From India in the early 90s, which is, like, so special. My aunt, who really was a huge part of that, and, you know, everything my parents did to get where they are, my sister and myself, to get where we are, you really just checked all the boxes and, you know, I couldn't have asked for anything better.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, you helped me do it.

[Reina Arena]

It was really nice.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

Thank you. I mean, it was really. I had a lot of fun writing it. And I wouldn't have gone as hard if you had told me your family wouldn't like it. I asked you if I could say.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Vibrator, and that's like another testament.

[Ashley Hess]

But you didn't ask about Cuck.

[Reina Arena]

Cuck just came to me.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

My parents probably.

[Ashley Hess]

They didn't know what it was.

[Reina Arena]

Most people didn't know. A lot of people had to Google cuck. At least 50% of the people there had to go.

[Ashley Hess]

Friends of ours, who actually, I wouldn't.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Have thought crazy after everything. My buddy Matt, who's married to Gina, who started this whole thing and got us here before he said congrats or gave me a handshake or anything. He was like, dude, I had to explain to my parents what a cuck was before anything else.

[Ashley Hess]

They were at the wedding, like, in person.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

They were at the wedding.

[Reina Arena]

Well, we did a rehearsal, which was really nice on Thursday, but I don't. The little platform that we stood on wasn't up there right when we did the rehearsal.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

The rehearsal, it was not there.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, guys, pay attention at your rehearsal. That's all I gotta say. Cause I was. You think you got it.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

And, like, for the most part, you do.

[Reina Arena]

You, Dr. Shankin and my dad didn't shake hands.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, I think you're all nervous, and so anything. Which, of course, you guys would have wanted to do that, but both of you forgot. Like, you don't. You think you know, but you don't know. And I think I was not taking the rehearsal seriously. Sorry, Jacqueline. Like, no one.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I mean, your nephews were running around.

[Ashley Hess]

And, like, we didn't have the platform. There was a bl. Like, we had to walk around, like a DJ booth. Cause they were having a party that night. Like, it's a whole thing. Like, the rehearsal. We did our best, but looking back, like, I think we could have rehearsed harder.

[Reina Arena]

I just wish we would have the platform, because the three of us were.

[Ashley Hess]

On this little circle platform. It was gorgeous. I love the way it looked.

[Reina Arena]

Stunning.

[Ashley Hess]

Unbelievably grand.

[Reina Arena]

But, like, I was marrying you, and then you guys wrote your own vowels, and I was so close to your bodies while you were doing it, and I didn't know where to look, and I was like, this is this beautiful, intimate moment that, like, should have been photographed without me. Like, I wish I would have, like, gotten off the stage maybe, but then gone where.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm telling you, there's so much awkwardness, and. And I feel like I haven't even figured this out. I've done it three times, and I was trying to coach you on it, and I'm like, you need a third hand. Like, because you have to either use a mic. No one wants to wear a lapel mic. You have to scroll, or you have to flip your papers. Like, you literally. Like, you were saying, like, I want to hold the mic. I'm like, you can't hold the mic. You can't literally. You don't have enough hands.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

You couldn't have been scrolling.

[Reina Arena]

Like, it's tough. So I had this iPad. It would have been too hard to. It's too heavy.

[Ashley Hess]

My.

[Reina Arena]

My wrist would gotten all floppy.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes, your wrist. Your hand would have fallen asleep. You're up there. There's this mic stand. I came up there. I was like, raina, what is it? Mic stands above your head.

[Reina Arena]

It was above my head.

[Ashley Hess]

It was my starting. How do I get up there with a bride? You should post a. Post a video. I'm like, adjust. I'm literally jerking off the mic stand while you were, like, telling people not to use their phones. Like, it was just weird. And then I had to adjust it for you, and I was like, I'm the best mic stand adjuster up here. I know what I'm doing. Just literally the first thing I do when I get on stage was this.

[Reina Arena]

I was like, thank God someone's taking care of this for me. Thank God the stars of this are taking care of this for me.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It wasn't me.

[Ashley Hess]

The way that I got up there. And Rain is a professional who speaks into a mic. And it was up here, I was.

[Reina Arena]

Like, is someone gonna fix this for me? It's not gonna be me. It's gonna be the stars of the show.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Couldn't have been me. My hands were locked behind my back.

[Reina Arena]

I also like, you and I are on stage so much. Until I get back married someday, I.

[Ashley Hess]

Will never be in a room full.

[Reina Arena]

Of more people that I know and love and feel comfortable and supported by. And it's still. It was the most physically uncomfortable, like, nervous I've ever felt on stage. Like, my chest was so tight. It's just any other show, I know I'll have another opportunity to, like, get it, nail it.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, just because the pressure just.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah. It's the only time I've ever been like, you got one shot at this. That's it.

[Ashley Hess]

Would you.

[Reina Arena]

What is it? One shot, one opportunity.

[Ashley Hess]

One shot, one opportunity. Would you.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Tour ends and you forget the whole thing.

[Ashley Hess]

I forget the whole thing?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Incredible.

[Ashley Hess]

Would you.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I don't know.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm not having any moment or let it slip. I can't remember. I can't. I do this whole thing and I've just forgotten it. I just put it to rest.

[Reina Arena]

I feel like I got up there and I got up there with you and everyone was like, tight.

[Ashley Hess]

And like, everyone is tight. You gotta loosen em up somehow, do some crowd work. Unless you don't want that. I think some people want a tight, formal vibe. It couldn't be me. Anytime I've done this, I want to. Hey, guys, let's loosen up.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah. So I was like, guys, let's lighten up. Is anybody hungover from last night Party? Also, I think everybody in the audience doesn't know what the bride and groom want necessarily. So I was like, let's take this as seriously as possible. I just was so nervous.

[Ashley Hess]

I just.

[Reina Arena]

I had to keep, like, reminding myself, like, try to be present and enjoy this.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, that's the biggest challenge. I think with weddings, I mean, what. How did you feel up there?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I was not as sweaty as I thought I would be, but I was pretty nervous. Like, similar to the engagement, you kind of just black out your. That was a lot more pressure. The engagement was so. I don't. I don't remember What I said to.

[Ashley Hess]

You, I don't know what it was to say.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

So sweet, very loving. I don't know. But up there I was. I don't remember you walking into that song. You had made such a, like, fuss about it. You were talking about Halo or like, you were like, oh, babe, you don't know what song I'm walking into. You're gonna lose it.

[Ashley Hess]

I just blacked out.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Blacked out. I.

[Ashley Hess]

Because I was so beautiful. Yes.

[Reina Arena]

Were you trying not to cry?

[Ashley Hess]

I really.

[Reina Arena]

I had a hard time looking at Ashley because I was trying not to lose it.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It's really when they tell you, like, you're gonna cry, like, you're gonna fucking cry. Like, you walked in the door and I was like, oh, God. I was like, buckle. Like, keeping my knees, like, so tight. So I didn't buckle.

[Ashley Hess]

You couldn't tell. Yeah, you seemed. I mean, you looked.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I was pretty poised, I think.

[Ashley Hess]

But, no, you looked like you had, like, tears in your eyes. You looked really, like.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It was crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Then Randy was talking about my aunt. Like, that got me emotional, talking about my family like that. That stuff. I mean, on top of you just.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, really well, I just kept having to tell myself, like, retain what he's saying because I don't remember what you said when you proposed. And I remember it being great. And, like, who's to say what it was? And I literally was like, okay, well, at least we wrote our vows down. I'll get these later. But I was, like, trying to be, like, get in the moment. And it's really difficult. And I think that is the thing overall in a wedding weekend. And I felt like I did a really good job. Like, I was like, be present. Enjoy all these moments. And I really did. And the only time I felt like I was not totally there was the ceremony. I don't know why. It's like, I was. My dress was really tight. It took. It took. It was so such a journey to get into it. And I felt a little physically uncomfortable. I'm wearing these heels like, you're worried you're gonna trip. You have the train behind you. When am I wearing something like that? Like, there's all these factors. And then you stand up on this thing where it's a little. It looks gorgeous, and I'm glad we did it, but it feels a little awkward. The three of us are up there and you like my posture? I was thinking about my posture. Like, there's a lot going through your head. And it was really special. And I really do feel like I was. Was listening. I really remember what Raina said. I remember what you said, but it was like I had to, like, you're.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Like, reminding yourself to focus.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

And, like, pay attention, right? Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

I really.

[Reina Arena]

When you guys were doing your vows too, I had to be like, hey, listen to this.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes.

[Reina Arena]

Like, digest this information. I really wonder what people that don't do this for a living, like, what.

[Ashley Hess]

They feel like we're out here, like, this was hard for us, and, you know, like, there's just little things. I. I wanted to hug my mom, and then that slipped out of my mind, you know? Like, I. In my original dream was to have my mom stand up there when my dad got to the thing. Like, these little things I've had to let go of that weren't, like, perfect. Cause I'm like, you can't go back. These are the things, like, you know, you should practice.

[Reina Arena]

Did you guys practice your vows?

[Ashley Hess]

No. No, no, no.

[Reina Arena]

You just wrote it one time. That was.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I wrote them probably 20 minutes before. Like, like, hand wrote them, like, physically wrote them. I had been, like, writing them for, like, weeks.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Wrote them, I guess, like, one on your laptop or whatever.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

And I wrote mine on my phone.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, transferred that. Like, we wanted them handwritten in those little books.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. We are just gonna take a quick break, and then we will get back into it. We are in the thick of the holiday season, party season, drinking season. You have Thanksgiving, just going out for drinks, more parties, all the things that just comes along with the time of year. And so that is why we are stocked up on Z by pre alcohol. So zebiotics. Pre alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make pre alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly, and you'll feel your best tomorrow. So we just love this. I mean, I think this is the time of the year when I use it most. I. I just throw it back. It comes in a little vial before you go out for the night, and it'll just make you feel better the next day, whatever you have going on the next day, without worry. And, you know, we were skeptical about this at first, but they've been a partner for years and we have really used this and we really stand by it. So whether you are raising a glass on turkey day, catching up with old friends, or just winding down with a glass of wine after a long week, the next morning still matters. Don't forget to drink a pre alcohol. Go to ZBiotics.com GGE to learn more and get get 15% off your first order when you use GGE at checkout. ZBiotics is backed with 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com GGE and use the code GGE at checkout for 15% off.

[Reina Arena]

Okay and this show is sponsored by Better Help. So as seasons change and days grow shorter, it can be a tough time for a lot of people. Obviously holiday season and this November, Better Help is encouraging everyone to reach out, check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones, and remind people in your life that you are there. And that can take a little courage sometimes, but it is worth it. And it's always what leaves people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner? And that is often when we hear about therapy as well. Like why didn't I just try this sooner? And Better Help has tons of tools and resources for you. They have quality therapists that were according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US they have a therapist match commitment. So Better Help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on therapy goals and you can do a short questionnaire to talk about what you want to focus on. And holidays are a big trigger for a lot of people. Families are a big trigger for a lot of people. Not feeling like you're far enough along in life. And it is a really, really wonderful time to talk to somebody and realize that you are not alone. So many people feel like this and over 30,000 therapists are on their platform. So BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms. This month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easy to take the first step. Our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com GGE that's BetterHelp.

[Ashley Hess]

H E-L-P.com GGE okay, and this episode is brought to you by Saks Fifth Avenue. Just such a go to for all of your holiday shopping for outfits that you want to wear to any sort of holiday events or parties or even just lounging. I mean, you know, some people like to look cute on like a Christmas morning. For example, you want to get some festive PJs or loungewear and of course get your sparkly party dresses and all those as well. They have amazing gift guides, guides for the pickiest people on your list. And also you can curate your holiday wish list to forward to whoever is buying gifts for you. We just love it so much. I really have turned to it to look for gifts especially for the men in my life. And everything that they have in these holiday gift guides are just stuff I feel like that these guys would actually want. You can shop by best sellers and just see what everyone is shopping. I mean, these just incredible sparkly party dresses and shoes and bags. I am dying over and rain. And I always say, say you're going to find stuff on Saks.com that you wouldn't find elsewhere. So if you really have a special event, you can really get something and stand out. And they have personal stylist in store or you can use that feature online as well and just see how they styled stuff and how they paired it and really curate the perfect outfit for whatever you have going on. And again, those wish lists are fire. So shopping can be personalized and easy. This holiday season, you guys can head to Saks Fifth Avenue or Saks.com for inspiring ways to to shop for everyone on your list. People really want to know about the egg carton. I think people want to know, did the egg carton make it to the wedding?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Ashley had been like, it's going to be there. And I was like, I don't know what it's going to be or what it's going to do. And then sure enough, one of the nephews walked up with it. And I was like, oh my God.

[Ashley Hess]

Our rings were in it.

[Reina Arena]

They were so cute.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

So cute. And it's really been about who can surprise who the most with the egg carton. And Ashley won that ring.

[Ashley Hess]

I thought you might have an idea because when we told the egg carton story, someone left a comment somewhere that was like, you should put the rings in it for the ceremony. And I was like, stop. Don't give him, don't let him see that. That was my idea.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I didn't see it, but she had like said something about it in passing. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

[Ashley Hess]

So that was my idea. And it was really funny to like my Three college girlfriends came in the room, and I was getting, like, getting ready, and they saw it on the bed, and they were like, ashley, what is this? This? And I was like, I'm gonna put the rings in. And they were like, shut up. No, you're not. And I was like, yes, I am. And we stuffed tissues in it. They were like, you're just putting, like, toilet paper.

[Reina Arena]

It looks really nice.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, it was great.

[Ashley Hess]

Bridget nestled the eggs. Nestled eggs. Nestled the rings in there. And we had Jay bring up the egg carton. And it. You think everyone's gonna laugh, but, like, they don't know the.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, of course.

[Ashley Hess]

Everyone's like, what the is that?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Like, my mom was losing her mind. She's. Because she knows. Her and my dad know the lore. Yeah, they know about it because it came with me to Boston for my bachelor party. So my mom was like, what are you doing? What is that? My dad was like, I don't get it. You're weird. I was like, all right, man.

[Ashley Hess]

And then it made it to the.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Honeymoon, so of course, my mom was losing her mind when it went, you know, of course the boys brought it out. She loved that. And then it came with us in Appa.

[Ashley Hess]

I just pulled back the bed, like, the comforter in the bed, and Napa. And there it was.

[Reina Arena]

Already there.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It was.

[Reina Arena]

What do you mean? You got it there ahead of time?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Ashley Hess]

I was in the bathroom, and he.

[Reina Arena]

Put it in the bed.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I just. I always just, like, tuck it quickly.

[Reina Arena]

I thought you, like, sent it to the hotel overnight.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm like, our honeymoon. No. Did you. I posted it today on Instagram. Every comment is not. Is, like, not the egg carton. It's so crazy. It's.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It's my favorite thing.

[Ashley Hess]

It's really. I also.

[Reina Arena]

Okay, that's the only part of the samurai to trip me up. I actually don't know when you're supposed to, like, take the rings out, what you do with them.

[Ashley Hess]

No one knows about the ring. Literally. I can't seem to nail the rings.

[Reina Arena]

You can't either. So when Jay, like, brought them over to me, I, like, gave him the iPad, like, a serving platter, and had him put the rings on the serving platter. I was. Yeah. I didn't know what to do. And then I'm, like, on hold, holding this carton, and I'm like, I don't know, like, what goes first? Like, what do you do with them?

[Ashley Hess]

The rings are always awkward. I've never really nailed it. When I did Matt And Steph's wedding, I was like, I don't. I get tripped up.

[Reina Arena]

Do you hold them for the vows?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Well, no. We also didn't have, like, a bridal party or anything like that. Usually the person, like, closest to you in your bridal party, like your maid.

[Ashley Hess]

Of honor, and then, like, would hand me mine.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Right.

[Reina Arena]

But people say with this ring, I.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Be wet at some point in the vows, I think.

[Reina Arena]

But we didn't do that a lot. You guys did traditional vows, which I really believe in, and I. I like. But I don't know what people do with the rings. We didn't know either. None of us knew.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Well, here we are.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, what was your favorite parts of the wedding weekend? All the things.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I mean, like, in a really general sense is, like, so many people around you that just, like, that matter and, like, have really made the effort to, like, show up and be there for you is, like, overwhelming. It's, like, so, so special. I could think. I could, like, cry thinking about it. You know what I mean? And I'm no pussy, but do it. It's, like, so emotional to think about it. You know what I mean? People have kids, they've, like, you know, arranged all these sitters, made all these plans, spent all this money to get out there, and it really. You know, I had aunts that came from Canada who, you know, they didn't have to do that. I had some uncles in India trying to get their visas and stuff in time to show up, and, like, they couldn't figure it out, which is fine. But, like, the effort is really what. Like, what really gets you. That was really, really special and probably my, like, most. Most favorite thing.

[Ashley Hess]

Like the broad.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, generally, if you want to break.

[Reina Arena]

It down every day.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, what were some, like, moments?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I mean, the haldi was really, really special. I think getting to see everybody, like, dressed up and sort of not kind of just brushed aside and genuinely get into it and get, like, some good outfits and, you know, really show up. We walked out of our room and kind of peeked over the balcony and saw everyone, and, like, I almost fainted. I was like, everyone looks so, so good. And, like, everyone followed directions, which is crazy. Everyone was so punctual at this wedding, which I also appreciated.

[Reina Arena]

Well, I mean, it was, like, all at this gorgeous venue, and so people just, like. Like, everybody leaned into all the outfits and everything.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

So excited. Right on time.

[Ashley Hess]

It's the biggest compliment that everyone showed up to. Everything was on time, did all the things, like, I don't know. I guess I've Been to weddings where people had like a more apathetic, like, I don't care vibe. I do think, I do think the couple sets the tone. I think people really love us and care about us and want to support us and we're fun and they want to be involved. But there was these little things along the way where I was like, I'm going to book a coach bus to take people from the one off site from the W event, which was at a. At the Gold Diggers. So I. We booked a coach bus. I'm like, I don't know. I just had this feeling like people are going to ride the bus, they're going to want to take an Uber and do their own thing. And that just. I don't know why I got in my head about it. I don't know why I had any sort of negative feeling like that. Because all of our friends and family love us so much. But literally we come down in the lobby, we got that we want to go there early and we didn't want anybody to see our costumes. And everybody was in the lobby early. The bus filled up where they had to do another round, like, and Jacqueline was telling me when I was expressing this to her, she was like, ashley, everyone's gonna get on the bus. Like, why do you think people won't want to be there for you? And like, the welcome drinks. We did not plan for all of our LA friends to come to the welcome drinks. So I'm seeing all of our friends and I was like, I love that you're here, but we didn't plan for.

[Reina Arena]

You, didn't invite you.

[Ashley Hess]

No, like, everybody was invited to everybody, everything. And we made it super clear that everyone got a full invite to every here. We want you at everything. But we didn't even really count RCPs. We were just like, 50 people will be the welcome drinks. Those are people that are going to be there Thursday. Because even coming Thursday, a lot of people can't do. So when I see like, Sean Kate and Chad Taylor, I'm like, you guys live on the west side.

[Reina Arena]

It took you an hour and a.

[Ashley Hess]

Half to get here. You didn't have to come. Like, everyone just wanted to support us. And like, at the wedding, I just felt like all I ever wanted was was everyone in one place, constantly present, constantly on the dance floor. Like, no one off doing something else or not paying attention. And that was the vibe that everyone was just so present and involved like the whole weekend. And you just don't always see that. And we've. You've been to so many weddings that. That's not the vibe.

[Reina Arena]

I mean, I don't know about Shashank's friends, and you can speak to your friends, but I think that our friends have all become friends with each other. And everybody really wanted to, like, be together. Like, it wasn't this, like, wedding you go to and you just don't know anybody, and you're just like, I'll go to the rehearsal dinner for an hour. You know, like, I'll show my face. Like, everybody really wanted to go to every single event and get like. I was 15 minutes late to the welcome drinks, and I was panicking. Panicking and everything else. I was like, could not be. I was like, at the moment.

[Ashley Hess]

But there was.

[Reina Arena]

Oh. Because we went to the. We went to the rehearsal. That's why. That's why I was a few nights late to the welcome drinks.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, yeah. Everything was a little behind, and so.

[Reina Arena]

I had to run upstairs and change. That was the only event. I even came a few minutes late to every single event.

[Ashley Hess]

Everyone was there.

[Reina Arena]

Everyone was there, and everybody wanted to be together.

[Ashley Hess]

No one left early.

[Reina Arena]

All of us stayed out all three nights. Me, I don't do that.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Like, and the way people committed to the costumes, it was just. I don't know, it just warmed my heart. It was so overwhelming. In the best way.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. I mean, to your point, in the costumes, I've never seen my parents dress up for anything. And my dad was like, what do you think? I was like, all right, man. Nailed it. He was like, I'm proud of you. I was like, this is crazy. Awesome. But, yeah, I mean, everyone just wanted to be there, wanted to be a part of it, and was, like, so ready to not miss a thing, which is, like, so important.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Like, you just. At the end of weddings, you're like, oh, there's way less people here. No, the end.

[Reina Arena]

Want to keep a party every night.

[Ashley Hess]

Everyone was the after party, after party. And the funny part is, like, for after the welcome drinks, they were five to eight. And I was like, I didn't do any invites. I didn't want to exclude anybody. I was like, I can't go to dinner with 50 people. Whatever. So basically, whoever's left, we're going to go to dinner. And I did set it up with this restaurant, Pizzeria Domichelle, which is in Hollywood. And it was your idea to go there after because it was really close to the hotel. And, like, I was like, everyone's going to do their own thing whenever. Like, whoever Left at the end of the night is we're all going to go to dinner. And I talked to one of the managers earlier in the day. He pulled it together last minute and was like, we have place space for you guys. Please come, whatever. And so they were wonderful. But there was so many people. We had another private party.

[Reina Arena]

No, it was crazy. The fact you didn't plan that. That was like 50 people going to dinner. That was.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

My sister came. She's somebody who's like 8:30 in bed, protecting her. Just like, does not want to do anything.

[Ashley Hess]

Like my parents, my aunt, where's the party at? And we went and like, that was an event in and of itself. And everything just went so perfectly. Like, I. I obviously attribute a lot of that to Jacqueline and her team, but four full events, truly. Plus there's a little impromptu afterparty. The pizza place, like four full blown events. And everything felt so smooth.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I know.

[Reina Arena]

God, it was so much fun, you guys.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I know.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I really miss.

[Reina Arena]

What are we gonna do for fun after this?

[Ashley Hess]

Well, I'm gonna do stuff for fun. You guys are gonna come? Yeah, we'll be there.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

We'll be doing fun stuff.

[Ashley Hess]

Do you want to ask about, like, families meetings?

[Reina Arena]

You guys want to sit together for that?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Should we switch?

[Reina Arena]

Oh, should we switch? Yeah, let's switch.

[Ashley Hess]

All right, we're gonna switch. We're gonna switch. Dun, dun, dun.

[Reina Arena]

All right, now we switched. I have some questions for you guys.

[Ashley Hess]

Honest, honestly.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Oh, my God.

[Reina Arena]

I wish I was over. I like this. Now. This is. You are right.

[Ashley Hess]

It's not what you wanted.

[Reina Arena]

I just thought it'd be, like, really cute for me to interview your husband. But this is fun.

[Ashley Hess]

See? Little tension before we hit record.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I almost left.

[Reina Arena]

You were really good at dealing with it.

[Ashley Hess]

I will say.

[Reina Arena]

You were like, you just brought up other stuff. You were like, maybe I don't make eye contact with either one of them and I just bring up late stuff.

[Ashley Hess]

Now, whatever you guys prefer, you get to see both.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah. So, Shashank, you guys are going to hold hands?

[Ashley Hess]

We're going to hold.

[Reina Arena]

Let's talk about. Let's talk about your families meeting each other. Because your family, wow. Your family is just. I could just die. Your mom is so wonderful.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I mean, she's truly one of the best people. She has always been there and really shown up in ways that, like, I never would have imagined because they're, you know, they're traditional in a way, but they're so understanding and, like, willing to compromise and, you know, really, really make sure that they're putting us before themselves and they understand and they adapt, and, you know, they learn to kind of. Kind of go with the flow. And I think people with, like, very traditional parents.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Really struggle with that because they. They're helicopter parents, and they really want you to do X, Y and Z. And my parents could have cared less what we did. You know, I mean, they're just like, we want you to be happy. We want you to be able to take care of yourselves. And, you know, we've done that. I. I have a great job. You know, didn't go to college, all this other stuff. And, you know, we're. We're doing great. And my parents are so happy and proud. And, you know, they. That speaks volumes.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, a lot of people have asked while we've been dating even about our interracial, intercultural relationship and your family, and I just can't. They don't. They have accepted me from the beginning. It's not that sort of judgmental thing, you know. And religiously, your family is Christian, which is another layer of. Obviously, I was brought up Christian, so there's not this, like, religion divide, too. But. But they are just so accepting. And I just kept saying to you, like, all your aunts were there. His mom has four sisters.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, she's the youngest of four.

[Ashley Hess]

They're all there. And, like, you hear this. Like, the aunties are gonna. Like, Even people in my comments, they're like, the aunties are gonna be judging you or, you know, giving you some sort of vibe, and they just weren't. They were gifts and, you know, like, so sweet. And there was nothing but love from everyone in your family. And obviously, I know your parents and your sister and. But it was just really special. And our parents met at our house on Wednesday night. They hadn't met before. We just never really got together. So they all met, and it was so special. Like, we all went down in the basement because your mom brought gifts for everybody, Raina included.

[Reina Arena]

Your parents are unbelievably.

[Ashley Hess]

Watches for my dad and my brother, gifts for us. These are his mom's bangles that she wore on her wedding day. So I wore these to the holiday, and it was these moments. And Pooja, your sister and I were. I overheard my dad saying something to your dad about, like. Like, just there. Thank you for sharing your story with us. And I forget what it was. And her and I locked eyes, and.

[Reina Arena]

We'Re like, I gotta get out of here. We were like.

[Ashley Hess]

I was in tears. Like, our dads.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Right?

[Ashley Hess]

Our dads are both very, like. I don't know how to describe it. They're not really mushy. Yeah, yeah. They're not. They're not mushy guys, right?

[Reina Arena]

I mean, I can only speak to Ashley's dad, but, like, your dad is the best dad in the world. He's not, like, a mushy guy, but, like, nothing means more to him in the world than his children and his wife.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And both our parents are all like that, so that went really well. Like, Raina was there, and obviously Raina's, like, part of the family. And your mom is just obsessed with Reina.

[Reina Arena]

I, like, ran to your mom. I love her.

[Ashley Hess]

She's so hot.

[Reina Arena]

She's so beautiful. I mean, your sister's so beautiful, too. You have a really beautiful family. And your mom was like, I listen to you girls in the car sometimes on my lunch break. It, like, shattered me to pieces how sweet that was.

[Ashley Hess]

I know. I was, like, raining it down here. She has a gift for you, and you're like, one.

[Reina Arena]

She brought me a gift. I mean, it just. It means a lot to me that they would, like, treat me like family.

[Ashley Hess]

It was just really, really nice.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It's been that way from. From the get.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. She sent you that wind chime for your house. You've always been a part of it.

[Ashley Hess]

So I love them. It's just. It's.

[Reina Arena]

I said this in that ceremony. It's just. It's easy to see why you guys relate so much on family values. Because you have, like, the same family, similar family.

[Ashley Hess]

And, like, the older sister and younger brother thing. We always say, like, older sisters work well with younger brothers, guys who have had older sisters. And our siblings gave speeches at the wedding. And there was this real similarity between Pooja's speech and Matt's speech of, like, we didn't get along at first because, like, we didn't like you guys, and we just didn't want someone else in the house. And we liked being only children for the few years we got to do it. Like, her thing was, she started with being like when Shashank was born, and I was not happy. And Matt starts it with, like, Ashley and I did not get along growing up. And then the way they turned it around, they both did these incredible speeches. I mean, speeches were, like, on a different level, but it's just like, there's these similarities there with that too.

[Reina Arena]

I knew Matt has time would be, like, so funny. Your sister, I mean, I was watching her give a speech, and I was like, the poise with which this woman is standing because she was like, I was so nervous. I was like, no one in this room could tell. I mean, she. I wish I could, like, stand with that. Like just posture and dictation.

[Ashley Hess]

Unbelievable.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

She's got some presence.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. She really is the point. Poise.

[Reina Arena]

Wow. I just could stop. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was unbelievable.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, so used to this.

[Reina Arena]

Like, as you. As this has come to an end, what did you learn from the whole experience? What advice would you give to other grooms?

[Ashley Hess]

Right. What advice would you give?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, I mean, having been to so many weddings, like, you, you don't have to get yanked away for photos and things like that. You can kind of just leave the reception or leave the ceremony, go to the drinks, and then go right into the reception. So you're really there for everything from start to finish. But when it's your wedding, you're getting pulled in 100 different directions. And then by the time you finally, you know, find yourself on the dance floor and you're like, loosening up and having drinks, you're nearing the end of it. So I would just. I would say just be mindful of that. And.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, Adam, we didn't do that.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

We got pulled away. And like, I felt like it was kind of short, like when we finally got back because we got pulled away. Family wants to take pictures, right? I was taking pictures of the family. You get yanked in a bunch of different directions and, you know, it goes by quicker than you, you think. I would say try to make sure you're as present as you can be for as much of it as you can be.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, that's the thing. I mean, it's. I had this conversation with Brenna and like, you just can't take pictures with everybody and you just can't have a one on one with everybody. That would be your whole night. And, you know, you want to make around and see the tables. And I feel like I talked to everybody. The thing that I liked about having all these days was that I really feel like I got time with everybody and people who came just Saturday. I mean, there was a few people that did. And one friend who came just Saturday is a close enough friend that she came in the bridal suite during the day. And so I felt like we had a moment. And another friend, I don't feel like I got to see her that much. And it's like, well, you just showed up for this and I'm be on the dance floor and, you know, meet me out there. And we can bond on the dance floor, but you can't. If you literally are like, I have to talk to every single person here at this wedding. That is your whole entire night.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

You'll never enjoy it at all.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, and so there is that. I mean, like, there's these little things like, you know, pay attention to the rehearsal. Actually do it. You know, the photos. I will say, you know, I. I think I made the mistake of not really putting together a shot list, which is kind of crazy for me because you and I do shot lists. And I made shot lists my whole career. And I just loved my photographer, Jess McDowell. She's incredible. The photos are incredible. Like, she really got me. But there are photos that they can't read your mind. And you will not be able to remember these things. Like, your mind is not your own. You are being pulled in a million different directions. It's impossible to remember every single thing you want to do and be present and talk to people. It's. I had this feeling, I was like. Like during the wedding day where I was like, I am out, out of body right now. And so there are a few photos that I have regret that we didn't get. And this has nothing to do with the photographer. She was incredible. And she probably got so many that I don't even know about. And I. I can't wait to see them all. But just a few that, like, I should have made that shot list. Like, you're going to want to do it and send it ahead of time and then it's their job, like any little thing to get ahead of. Just do not trust yourself to remember in. In the moment. You will not. Like, it's just this thing of like, well, I'll remember to have this moment with this person. No, you won't. And then you will regret it. And so put it on someone else to direct you to do and. And like all the things you want to do again, it was the most perfect four days of my life. But any those little things, just put them on, make them someone else's responsibility. I guess I never thought of a shot list.

[Reina Arena]

And you and I have done a million photo shoots. We give them to every photographer for every live show. People that have done a million of our live shows, it never even occurred to me to do it.

[Ashley Hess]

And I think she asked me for. We had a call and I was like, she gets me. I told her the things I don't want. I told her the things I do want. And she reached, really delivered. But there are some things how she never would have known. And I forgot. And I don't need to list them all out, but overall, I'm obviously so happy. And everyone tells you something will go wrong. We had something go wrong with the gift bags. It's fine. But for the most part, everything was wonderful. But if anything that went wrong, it's because I didn't get ahead of it. And then you're in it. And I don't think there's a solution for another thing that I'm gonna say, which is just like. Like really being able to take in all the details of these things that you planned and you conceptualized. And I don't think there's a way that you could. I don't think that in that span of however many hours, four or five, you can be on the dance floor the whole night. Like, I wanted to be. Talk to people, get photos, and then also, like, make the rounds and really take in the centerpieces and, like, really eat all the food.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Like, eating all the food is a bigger deal.

[Ashley Hess]

I ate, but I didn't get to eat all the food, and I. I didn't get to have the churros. And, like, I don't think you can do it. So I don't have advice for it. I guess just do your best.

[Reina Arena]

Well, I don't think we've. What was the final head count at the wedding?

[Ashley Hess]

140.

[Reina Arena]

I mean, that felt like anything more than that would have been like, I. Sometimes I hear 140. I'm like, that's not that many people. But, like, that was so many people. And I actually don't know how people have, like, weddings with 200 people. Like, how could you.

[Ashley Hess]

100, 300, 500. What are you doing?

[Reina Arena]

I don't know how you could up end. I mean, the weekend ended and I was like. There was a giant handful of people that I never interacted with the whole weekend. And you just, like. I don't know, you're trying to, like, be present, but, like, anything bigger than that. I don't know how you talk to anybody.

[Ashley Hess]

I know. And I just. There's just some things I wish I. There's like a moment I wish I would have with my mom. Obviously, my mom was there the whole time. Like, I. You know, I'm so close to my mom, but it's just if there's like these top five people, top 10 people, just make sure you. I don't know how. However you want to do it, make a list of, like, these moments you want to share with them. So Because I'm telling you, you will not remember.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

You got to put it on the photographer. Just.

[Ashley Hess]

And that's photographer's job, your video.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

You have to listen, figure it out.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And just. That's really it. And give yourself enough time. More time than you think. If you think I don't want to start getting ready, then. Because then I'll be sitting around. You won't. You will find something to do. People will come visit you. You'll take pictures. Like, being the same, slightest bit rushed is just. I mean, it's. It's a nightmare. It's like too much, and then everybody starts pouring in and you haven't done. Like, I wanted to go up and see them getting set up, which I'm. I'm glad that I did, but that set me behind a little bit. I had kind of a schedule to get ready, and I was like, I really want to go up and meet the florist and see the room getting set up. It's, like, really important to me. Luckily, we're in the hotel. I could go up there and do that. But then it kind of set me back, and then people are coming in, and I was like, I just had to leave the door open for you. I was like, right now, your hair and makeup's ready. Like, just give yourself more time than you ever think you'll need so you can relax. And, like, if the worst thing that happens is you're, like, a little bored for 20 minutes, better than feeling rushed because there was a really chaotic hour on Saturday, and it just. I have a little regret surrounding, like, just not being able to be a little bit more relaxed because it, like, took longer to do a couple things. It took longer to get me to my dress. And just some things set us back. And then you're rushed, and that's just the worst thing that can happen because you want to enjoy these moments.

[Reina Arena]

But I think you did it. You did the wedding day a little different than you. A lot of brides, they have, like, the whole bridal party, and everybody comes over at 7 in the morning, and you're getting ready for a million. I think you had, like, a real vision. I don't know how you thought you were gonna go to yoga class. That's crazy. But you guys. So you guys stayed together the night before you woke up and decided to, like, have a morning together in bed.

[Ashley Hess]

Till, like, 10:00am yeah, we, like, wanted to order room service and be together or so. That's always what I thought. Yeah. I thought I was gonna do this yoga Class. And I'm so glad everyone, like, everyone had spray tan issues and they couldn't come. And so I canceled it. And when I told Jacqueline I canceled it, she was like, thank fucking God. She was like, ashley, you don't know that. I have texted every single vendor, like, hallelujah. She is not doing this because it really would have set us back, but it was the most perfect weekend. But the few times I felt rushed, I just regretted not giving myself a little extra time. And, like, did we have to, like, lay in bed and have that? You know, like. But I love that, too. I want to just be lazy and enjoy.

[Reina Arena]

I don't know. The first time I ever heard anybody say that was Alex Cooper. I think she was interviewing Vogue for her wedding. And she said that that, like, her and her husband Matt had, like, spent this really wonderful just day together of their wedding. And they stayed in bed and they watched TV and ordered room service. And I was like, I love that sentiment. It's so beautiful. And if you are superstitious and you don't want to stay with your husband the night before, that's fine too. But I really loved the sentiment of, like, we had this really relaxing, beautiful.

[Ashley Hess]

Morning together, and, like, yeah, so. But I will say he and I loved the way that we did our time in, like, our three night nights, three days, like, at the W. And they put us in a suite, and it was incredible. And it's like, when we left, I missed it. I was like, this was our home while we got married and we had these mornings and we were lazy. We watched Love is Blind and we, like, ordered room service. It was everything I ever would have wanted. But you miss out on some moments, like, your friends are having. And, like, I would see, like, everybody with you getting ready or something. And, like, obviously he and I were gonna get ready together for Halloween and all these things. But your friends are hanging out without you.

[Reina Arena]

I felt really bad. It was. It was me, Megan, Lillian, Jackie, Taylor, Brittany, and the makeup artist in your room.

[Ashley Hess]

In my room.

[Reina Arena]

Stop the Halloween party. And I felt really bad you weren't there.

[Ashley Hess]

But, like, your friends were hanging out without you, too.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Everyone was up at the pool drinking beers.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, he wanted to go up at the pool. Like, there was a point where he goes, I'm gonna go up to the pool. And I'm like, shashank, like, no, you're not.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

She's like, do not drink up there.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay?

[Reina Arena]

But during that, you can have a wedding day, too.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm. It was just.

[Reina Arena]

There was, like, this Perfect lobby, patio. And it was just a revolving door of people just like having drinks together, having snacks all day down there.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I had wicked fomo. I was like, I want to be Rob's crushing a bottle of wine. I want to crush a bottle of wine with Rob.

[Ashley Hess]

And I wasn't like, don't go. Well, I will say one of your friends, the Halloween party were all at the bar at the W back afterwards. And one of your. And Andy, I'll just call him out. He was like, so how do you feel about like us drinking beers? I'll do day together tomorrow. And I said, andy, don't play with me.

[Reina Arena]

A bunch of Boston guys. A bunch of Boston can't be trusted.

[Ashley Hess]

And I knew I knew him better, but I got a little worried. And when we. You, I don't know where you were in that moment. When we connected 10, 15 minutes later, I was like, babe, just so we're clear, you're not getting drunk tomorrow.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

No, no, no, no.

[Reina Arena]

And it was never going to be.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

He was pushing your buttons, but I.

[Reina Arena]

Think it's crazy male behavior. Listen, if you are able to like drink all day, fine. I don't know. I don't know your man, but like, it's crazy to me to be drinking for like eight straight hours and then go to your wedding ceremony. What are you doing?

[Ashley Hess]

Well, did you. What did you have, like two beers or something?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I think I only had like a beer.

[Ashley Hess]

I had a moment where I was like, I need alcohol, which is really not me. And I was like, I am really going through it and was just like, I need a glass of alcohol immediately. And it did help.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah, it was just. I was so tight in the chest. I know. Right before we walked out there, I couldn't like de escalate. And I saw Shashank with the zool. And I just was. Was like, yeah, this is gonna fuck me up.

[Ashley Hess]

So Shashank walked Azul down. He's wearing part of his tux right now. He wore like a little tux. And it was.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

He even thought that platform was whack.

[Ashley Hess]

So he wouldn't stand up on the platform. Our vision was that we would all be up there together. But we should have known. He's like, too small.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Too small.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, yeah.

[Reina Arena]

But it looked really beautiful. Okay, so I don't want to be like, be negative about it, but like, I want to talk about the post wedding crash out because this is a phenomenon that we. I had never heard of. And then you. I want you guys to talk about it. And every One of our friends has come out of the woodwork, including a friend of mine that I was talking to last night. One of our really good friends, a man, he said, I was depressed for two weeks.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, so I'll say right to the camera, the post wedding crash is like childbirth. No one is talking about it and everyone is experiencing it and talking to people. My girlfriends, weeks. I had to take a nap every day. I couldn't get out of bed. I had to go to therapy. I was so depressed. And I was like, no one has mentioned this.

[Reina Arena]

Brenna said months. She said two months. Brenna and Andrew Collin, they left their wedding. They went down to Miami with Nikki Glaser. They boxed seats for the ERAS tour with Nikki Glaser. And Brenna was like, whole concert.

[Ashley Hess]

I cried on the way to the winery. I took a selfie, sent it to my mom, crying in the car on the way to this beautiful winery. Like, so this is. It is such a real thing. And I don't want to say I thought I was like, immune to it, but I thought, like, I understand people who have maybe never had moments like these where you're like the main character in the center of attention and all these people are surrounding you and then it's over and you miss that high. And that is not what it is for me. Obviously for me, it was something that I have planned for a year with the tour. So my whole personality and my whole life for one whole year starting in January, was planning these two things in tandem. And so they both ended. And the way when the tour ended and I shot my special was like a relief. It freed up all this brain space. I was like, I accomplished a thing. But this felt really different. And this felt like we were surrounded by all the people we love the most in the world for days starting Wednesday, for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. You. They're just there, they're around you. They're just like supporting you and loving you. And then it just ends. And we walked into our house on Sunday and I. I just burst into tears. And I was like, something about walking into the empty house. I literally was looking around the house like, that's where Corey and him were in the kitchen when. When Shashank was making the burritos. And I just like, thought. Had this thought like, I miss my mom. And I, like, lost it.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

And you were like, we didn't have the easiest exit from the hotel to begin with.

[Ashley Hess]

Some. We had some, like, weird things. But you were saying you thought I wasn't helping you.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Like, I Was like, arms full of stuff, just, like, bringing it out of the car, putting it inside, going back out. Where the fuck is Ashley? And, like, I, like, finished it. And I'm, like, walking up the stairs with a bunch of stuff in my arms. And she's, like, hunched over the island or, like, the counter, sobbing. I was just like, oh, God. She's, like, shaking. She's, like, crying. I was like, what's going on?

[Ashley Hess]

I didn't see it coming. And then I start asking people. Jacqueline is like, oh, girl. It's like, the realest thing. Everyone is depressed after their wedding.

[Reina Arena]

I also did not realize it was instantaneous. Like, Brent again. Brennan was like, we left the wedding and should have had the best night. She was like, I. I was beside myself. Cried the entire time.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I felt a little empty. I was like, similar to you. I was like, this is where everyone was. And now this past week, I've been like, what was I doing last week? Oh, yeah. I was having the best fucking week of my life with a bunch of people I love.

[Ashley Hess]

It's such a void. I have not felt a void like this in a while. And it makes you feel like we wanna be around our families more. And we live so far away from them. And being around all these people, it's so much, much love. And I. Again, I don't think I'm not human. Like, I just felt like we have been surrounded by all of our friends and family. I mean, even my special. How many people were there? 30. My whole family. My parents, Matt, Steph, Lindsay, Buck. All of our friends were there. So I'm like, I've experienced this before.

[Reina Arena]

And will again.

[Ashley Hess]

And will again. And you've done this thing, and you plan this thing, and then it's over. And all these people are celebrating. Like, it didn't ever feel like this. Like, sure, we'd be, like, sad, it's over. But the void, it was really overwhelming and I couldn't really shake it. I would think that's why they tell you to go on a honeymoon. So you just distract yourself from it. Yeah.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Keep it going.

[Ashley Hess]

You're. Maybe you're a little sad on the honeymoon. And then it's even worse when you come back from the honeymoon.

[Reina Arena]

Seriously, every person we know that's gotten married has told us about this, and no one's ever spoken about at the wedding.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Crash. You made it up. I was like, that's not real.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, I just.

[Reina Arena]

I can't stress this enough. Ashley and I have had so many moments where people surround us with love and we've planned it for a long time, and it's this amazing moment, and I don't think about it afterwards.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm just.

[Reina Arena]

I can't wait to see the photos. The next day I post them. It's onto the next thing. Like, it's just so different.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. It feels really different. And I really feel for people who the planning has taken over their life, and then you have this wonderful experience, and then it is abrupt. I know.

[Reina Arena]

So I actually was saying today, I can't believe it's been.

[Ashley Hess]

We're recording.

[Reina Arena]

Recording this on Sunday. It's been, like, one week. I can't believe it.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

That's what I keep thinking of. I played that Bare Naked lady song.

[Ashley Hess]

It's been one week. Like, we woke up yesterday.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I woke up and just put it on. Just woke up and I turned it off after he said, it's been one week.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Married for one week.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

That's the rest of your life.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

Well, maybe we could, like, wrap it up before we let you go with something that you've been working on. Shashank toiling away at.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. So.

[Reina Arena]

Because I think people want to know more about you.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yes. So, obviously, obviously, I've. I've worked in automotive for my entire professional career.

[Ashley Hess]

They don't know that.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Well, now you know, and a good friend of mine, two good friends of mine, we've been working on an app to support EV owners. We're working on a final release. It should be hopefully within a couple months, but that's what I've been doing after my regular 9 to 5 with the help of two of my buddies. And I'm really excited to get it out to people who, you know, who are EV owners. And that's it.

[Ashley Hess]

So I will let you guys know when it launches. But I just want to say I've watched you work on this for three, four months now and really dedicate so much time to it after working all day. And I'm so impressed and inspired. Like, you're kind of downplaying the features and what you guys have built, and it really is, like, the coolest thing. I think there's a real market for it. I. I think anyone who gives a shit about their car and how to get the most out of it, and there's just all these really cool tools, and, you know, you're not gonna say too much, but it looks great. It's so easy to navigate and use, even for someone that doesn't know that much about their vehicle. And I am just so proud of you. And I think it's really gonna take off and I'm excited to like hype it when it's officially launched. And it's just you and you're. The two guys you're doing this with have full time jobs and not everybody. He was on a call today on a Zoom for two hours on a Sunday. You know, like after work. You're working on it. I mean, what. I watched five hours of Selling Sunset last night. You worked the entire time like it. Not everybody has. Has that. I mean, you and I have had those moments where you're have a job and you're doing something on the side and not everybody wants to do that or they start and they give up and it's just. It's a lot and you put a lot into it and you have like very high standards. And you. You guys are really brilliant and what you've done is incredible. So I can't wait to tell you guys when it. When it launches.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. I'm really excited to get it out to you guys.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

Yay. Okay, well, do you feel like you said all the things that you want to say? Any. Any closing words about being married?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It's sick.

[Ashley Hess]

Shonka snoring louder. I feel like the volume is up.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

I'm really pushing my limits.

[Ashley Hess]

Did do something on the honeymoon. The mini moon. We went to Napa for a couple days and you peed when I was in the bathroom?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

Oh, you guys aren't doing that?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

No, we're not doing that.

[Reina Arena]

We.

[Ashley Hess]

It's not for me open about our naked bodies and peeing and stuff like that. But I. He doesn't usually come in and he has his own bathroom in the house usually. So like I was in the mirror and he was just peed and I was like, oh, we've crossed that.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

This is the first backs to each other. It wasn't like I was.

[Reina Arena]

This is the. It was the first time you've done that.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Reina Arena]

I don't know.

[Ashley Hess]

We just like to keep that. No, it's not for.

[Reina Arena]

No, it's not for me. It's crazy that you got married and all of a sudden.

[Ashley Hess]

All of a sudden.

[Reina Arena]

This is the first time.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Here we go.

[Reina Arena]

For years you've been together and you got married and started peeing in front of her.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

It's not going to be such a.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

No, no, no, no. It was just. I had to pee.

[Reina Arena]

It's an interesting thing to start doing all like. I feel like there's couples that are just like. We take chips in front of Each other. And we. What do you mean? We're a couple. Of course. And there's couples that are just like. That's not a thing we do. I've always been a. That's not a thing we do. I. I don't need to go to the bathroom in front of somebody. I don't need you to go to the bathroom. Also, shut the door. That's why God invented doors. Yeah, but really, the day after your.

[Ashley Hess]

Wedding, you started couple days. It's not even. I just saw your dick and another something coming out of it. We just had sex, you know, like, it's not. It's just something's different because I. We just hadn't crossed that boundary yet.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, I don't think it's going to happen again. That was just like a weird.

[Ashley Hess]

It's okay, baby. You don't have to, like.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah, it sounds like it's okay.

[Reina Arena]

No, I mean, you have her now. You could do whatever you.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

You want.

[Ashley Hess]

No, but those are my two things. Like, even night one, I was like. The volume on the snoring was higher, to be fair.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

We were exhausted. It was a lot. And that's why. You know what she does when. When I do snore?

[Reina Arena]

What?

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

She will wake up out of a coma like this and go, babe, turn over.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, if you face the other way, the other way.

[Reina Arena]

I don't know how people stop other people from snoring. I have no idea.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

She doesn't stop me. She just silences me a little bit.

[Ashley Hess]

I do a little, little.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Can you just way less gentle than that. To be clear, a little bit of this.

[Ashley Hess]

Punch you in the face in your sleep. No, you're right. It was the night of the wedding was like, extra loud, but it's been fine.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. Since we're normalizing, I'm getting energy back.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Everybody always asks, like, what's different? Like, literally nothing. Like, living together is the biggest adjustment. Like, whatever. Yeah. I don't even think we're legally married yet. I think the marriage certificate's, like, still in the mail. Mail. Keep it.

[Reina Arena]

So keep it together until that.

[Ashley Hess]

But then do they, like, email us?

[Reina Arena]

You're asking me?

[Ashley Hess]

No.

[Reina Arena]

What kind of email? Like, congrats, you got this.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, they did email and they were like, how did your experience go with the. The court.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah. The city hall, whatever it was.

[Ashley Hess]

Courthouse people, the clerk, marriage people.

[Reina Arena]

I don't know, like, the county.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, LA County. So they do have my info. So I feel like I could be like, buzz, buzz. Did you guys get that thing? It's crazy, crazy to put this. You only have 10 days post in. In California, at least. LA, whatever. You only have 10 days to send it back. What if it was 12? Would they be like, you're not married.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

What.

[Reina Arena]

What happened?

[Ashley Hess]

That's what I'm saying. I've heard of this where people are like, oh, fuck, we are not married.

[Reina Arena]

Then you have to go to Vegas and get married again.

[Ashley Hess]

I think we should have to go to the courthouse. That'd be fun, though.

[Reina Arena]

That would be fun.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

That could be a thing to do.

[Reina Arena]

I think that'd be fun since everyone.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Just keeps saying, let's run it back.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah, I think we go to Vegas.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Okay, let's run it back in Vegas.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, we did it and thanks for everything and it was perfect.

[Reina Arena]

Yeah. Congrats to you guys, husband and wife. How was your first, sort of your first on camera experience on girls gotta eat, hopefully, right.

[Ashley Hess]

Your experience.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

This has been great.

[Reina Arena]

Out of 10.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

This isn't really my cup of tea, but you couldn't tell. You guys make it great. So fun, comfortable, homey.

[Reina Arena]

Comfy.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

Comfy.

[Ashley Hess]

All right, well, thanks for joining us.

[Reina Arena]

Us.

[Ashley Hess]

Take us out and you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat Dot com. Girls Gotta Eat podcast on Instagram and Tik Tok. I am Ash Hess. Reina Arena Greenberg. Subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend and we will see you Thursday.

[Reina Arena]

Have a good week, guys.

[Shashank Greenberg Hasseltine]

It.