53. Giving you coworker fantasies, engagement rings, and space

Summary

Podcast Summary: Give It To Me Straight – Episode 53: Giving You Coworker Fantasies, Engagement Rings, and Space

Release Date: May 21, 2024

Hosts: Alex and John from Dear Media

In Episode 53 of Give It To Me Straight, hosts Alex and John delve into a myriad of relationship topics, blending personal anecdotes with candid listener questions. This episode covers everything from navigating family dynamics during pregnancy to handling partner's lack of ambition and the intricacies of engagement ring choices. True to their name, Alex and John provide unfiltered, honest advice from their distinct perspectives, ensuring listeners gain valuable insights into maintaining healthy relationships.

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1. Personal Anecdotes and Early Banter

The episode kicks off with the hosts engaging in playful banter about mispronouncing "charcuterie boards" as "coochie boards," setting a lighthearted tone (00:00). This humorous exchange showcases their comfortable dynamic and sets the stage for the open and relatable discussions to follow.

2. Travel Troubles and Family Dynamics

Flight Experience: Alex and John recount their challenging flight experience, highlighting turbulence and the exhaustion that followed. They commend Southwest Airlines for their professionalism and discuss the frustrations of delayed flights and limited flight options (02:00).

Disney Trip with Extended Family: The duo shares their recent trip to Disney World with their niece and nephew, accompanied by other family members. Alex emphasizes the overwhelming nature of taking young children to Disney, noting the difficulty in managing their energy and the constant need for attention (04:08). John echoes these sentiments, reflecting on the exhaustion of being surrounded by excited kids and the logistical challenges it presents (06:12).

Alex: "Anyone who has brought their kids to Disney, ages 3, 4, and below. Are you having fun? How are you being productive?" (04:35)

John: "I just love Florida. I talk about moving to Florida all the time." (06:37)

3. Listener Questions and Relationship Advice

The core of the episode revolves around listener-submitted questions, with Alex and John offering their takes on various relationship dilemmas.

a. Fantasizing About a Coworker

Question: Alex confides in John about catching him masturbating to a photo of his female colleague, seeking validation on whether it's normal for men to sexualize coworkers and advice on handling such situations (18:04).

Advice:

• John: Suggests that fantasizing can occur but emphasizes the importance of boundaries and the complications of such behavior within the workplace.
• Alex: Expresses her discomfort and considers it a deal-breaker, highlighting the emotional impact it would have on her trust and attraction (24:06).

Alex: "I really think I would break up with you. It would hurt my feelings all the time." (24:06)

b. Partner Attending Uninvited Weddings

Question: A listener asks if she's in the wrong for being upset that her boyfriend is attending a wedding she wasn't invited to, despite their long-term commitment (24:57).

Advice:

• Alex: Affirms that her feelings are justified, criticizing the lack of communication and perceived inconsiderateness of both the wedding invite and the boyfriend's decision to attend (28:09).
• John: Agrees, emphasizing the importance of communication and mutual respect in relationships.

Alex: "You're not the asshole." (28:31)

c. Discomfort with Belly Touches During Pregnancy

Question: Alex, currently 24 weeks pregnant, shares her discomfort with unwanted belly touches from her mother-in-law, seeking strategies to assert her boundaries without causing familial tension (29:41).

Advice:

• John: Recommends setting firm boundaries and involving her husband to reinforce her stance.
• Alex: Discusses the importance of personal comfort and the different ways people react to pregnancy, advocating for clear communication (32:33).

John: "She's the one you'll be dealing with forever. Pick and choose your battles." (31:24)

d. Partner Content with Lack of Ambition

Question: A female listener expresses concern over her boyfriend's contentment with a low-paying job and lack of ambition, fearing it might lead to future relationship issues (37:17).

Advice:

• John: Warns that sustained lack of ambition can lead to resentment and urges the listener to recognize that change must come from the individual, not through constant nagging (38:21).
• Alex: Suggests evaluating the long-term compatibility and considering whether both partners' goals align (39:11).

John: "You can't change someone. It's not going to work and then you're going to resent that person." (38:21)

e. Husband's Weight Gain and Sexual Attraction

Question: A listener discusses her husband's significant weight gain, his preference for tight-fitting shirts, and the ensuing impact on their sex life, questioning if she is being ungrateful or the asshole for feeling unattracted (41:57).

Advice:

• John: Emphasizes the importance of addressing the underlying issues beyond physical appearance, such as self-discipline and emotional connection, and suggests having open, empathetic conversations (44:51).
• Alex: Recommends a balanced approach, encouraging honesty while considering his mental well-being and the relationship's overall health (46:05).

Alex: "You're allowed to feel unattracted to your partner, but it's emotional." (47:03)

f. Engagement Ring Discrepancy

Question: A listener shares her frustration over receiving an engagement ring that doesn't match her specified preferences, despite having discussed styles extensively with her fiancé (51:57).

Advice:

• Alex: Advises exchanging the ring if it's not what she wanted, suggesting clear communication about her discomfort and ensuring her preferences are respected moving forward (53:25).
• John: Encourages her to prioritize her happiness and maintain open dialogue to prevent future misunderstandings (53:51).

Alex: "If it's not your style, it's not your style. And you should enjoy what you have on your hand." (57:44)

g. Ex-Girlfriend Requesting Favorable Reference

Question: A former girlfriend contacts a listener, requesting him to provide a favorable reference for her police academy application while withholding negative aspects of their abusive relationship (60:38).

Advice:

• John: Initially suggests giving a positive review but shifts stance upon learning about the abuse, advocating for honesty while maintaining anonymity to protect against retaliation.
• Alex: Recommends protecting one's integrity by refusing to provide a biased reference, emphasizing the importance of truthful assessments for positions of power (61:02).

Alex: "Put your daughter on a leash. Don't be like, you don't." (67:34)

h. Husband Leaving Daughter Unattended

Question: A listener describes an incident where her husband left their 5-year-old daughter unattended at a crowded park while he played pickleball, seeking advice on holding him accountable (64:53).

Advice:

• Alex: Strongly condemns the husband's actions, labeling them irresponsible and prioritizing the child's safety over leisure activities. She advises immediate action, such as considering separation, to ensure the child's well-being (67:17).
• John: Echoes the severity of the situation, emphasizing the child's safety as paramount and criticizing the husband's prioritization (68:37).

Alex: "Just get rid of your husband at this point. He's obviously trash." (68:01)

4. Humorous Interludes and Final Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Alex and John intersperse their advice with humor and personal stories, keeping the conversation engaging and relatable. They end the episode by sharing a funny anecdote about Alex using a litter box to conceal a bathroom mishap at a party, reinforcing their authentic and unfiltered approach (71:02).

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Notable Quotes

• Alex on Fantasizing About Coworkers: "I really think I would break up with you. It would hurt my feelings all the time." (24:06)

• John on Partner's Lack of Ambition: "You can't change someone. It's not going to work and then you're going to resent that person." (38:21)

• Alex on Engagement Rings: "If it's not your style, it's not your style. And you should enjoy what you have on your hand." (57:44)

• Alex on Husband Leaving Daughter Unattended: "Just get rid of your husband at this point. He's obviously trash." (68:01)

• Alex's Humorous Confession: "I had just peed and saw a litter box. And I shit in the litter box and covered it with more litter." (71:25)

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Conclusion

In this episode, Alex and John tackle complex and sensitive relationship issues with their trademark honesty and no-holds-barred advice. Whether addressing infidelity, boundary-setting during pregnancy, or disengagement in long-term relationships, they provide listeners with practical solutions and relatable insights. Their blend of humor and sincerity ensures that listeners not only gain valuable perspectives but also enjoy the conversation from start to finish.

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Note: For more episodes and to submit your questions, visit Give It To Me Straight Podcast or find them on all major social media platforms under the handle K23 Podcast.

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Timestamp References:

• 00:00 - Episode starts with banter about charcuterie boards
• 02:00 - Discussing flight experience
• 04:08 - Disney trip with family
• 18:04 - Listener question on coworker fantasies
• 24:06 - Alex discusses potential breakup over coworker fantasies
• 24:57 - Listener question on attending uninvited weddings
• 29:41 - Question on discomfort with belly touches during pregnancy
• 37:17 - Question on partner's lack of ambition
• 41:57 - Question on husband's weight gain affecting attraction
• 51:57 - Question on engagement ring discrepancies
• 60:38 - Question on ex-girlfriend requesting favorable reference
• 64:53 - Question on husband leaving daughter unattended
• 71:02 - Alex shares a humorous party anecdote

Transcript

[John]

In college you made charcuterie boards.

[Alex]

100%. You're not even saying it correctly.

[John]

Charcuchie boards?

[Alex]

Yeah, it's a coochie board.

[John]

You made coochie boards in college.

[Alex]

I was doing coochie shit all the time, John.

[John]

I was doing coochie shit on the reg. And welcome back to Give it to Me Straight.

[Alex]

I'm Alex.

[John]

And I'm John. And we're your gracious grand, gracious, gracious host. I know I'm tired because that just seemed too loud to me, you know?

[Alex]

I know I'm tired because you just woke me up from a nap.

[John]

I know. I was like. I literally thought you were like, okay, I'm going to get back. She'll be done working out. We're going to be ready to go.

[Alex]

I didn't do his workout.

[John]

I get back, she was asleep. Which, you know what? I don't blame you. I get it. You need, you need to sleep.

[Alex]

Sorry that it just hit. Hits me.

[John]

I'm not blaming you. I, I agree.

[Alex]

You walk.

[John]

I barely have my. I barely have my eyes open right now.

[Alex]

Walk in the room and you go, what the. That's what you said.

[John]

No, I didn't.

[Alex]

Yeah, you go, yeah, you loved.

[John]

You just want to have people be like, whoa, is Alex.

[Alex]

No, no, no.

[John]

I walked in the room, I said, I go, how long have you been asleep?

[Alex]

No, no, no. But that's exactly what I said was, what the.

[John]

No, you did say that. I know I didn't say that. Also, you were asleep.

[Alex]

Kobe, he was on the bed.

[John]

Okay, okay.

[Alex]

And I was like, oh my God. I know he's not talking about me.

[John]

Alex is trying to get everyone on the hey, John train. That's not what I said. Even if I said that, whatever my first sentence was, you never woke up to it. The only time you woke up was when I was like, hey, how long have you been sleeping?

[Alex]

It was when you said, what the.

[John]

I didn't say that. But anyways. So we got in at 3:30 this morning. We, by the way, no flack to Southwest. We made it very specific that we told the flight attendants. They're like, oh, yeah.

[Alex]

They were like, are you gonna make a tick tock out of this or make content out of this? And we were like, no, no, no, no.

[John]

We can't blame them.

[Alex]

We love. They were great.

[John]

However, I'd rather have a plane that has all of its schematics and stuff working.

[Alex]

Well, I'm not gonna be any, like, I'm not gonna say what brand of A plane. It was, but it's the one that has recently been having all the issues. I don't want to get offed by being, you know, a whistleblower, because I'm not. But it was that specific plane that has all those problems. Whatever. We got home safely. That's all that matters. Whether it was seven hours later, oh my God.

[John]

We were like, all right, we're gonna go home a day early. Just so. Because we have so much work to do. We're like, we'll go home a day early just to get done. Got to the airport at 6 yesterday, didn't fly out till midnight. I'm just glad we even got back because there's no other planes. I mean, what we're going to do.

[Alex]

They were worried that the, the small airport that we were flying into had curfew issues. And they were like, we might not be able.

[John]

I've never even heard that.

[Alex]

Like, because people at the airport, especially if it's a small airport, they want to go home. They're not staying up till 3am to help deboard the plane. You know, they gotta lock the doors, clean the bathrooms. Things gotta get done for the next day, right? Because I guess bigger airports are like 24 hour. I don't, I don't know.

[John]

But anyway, so Alex was asleep the whole plane ride. I was wide awake. And also there was turbulence. I'm like, I'm gonna fucking die on this thing. And we were like, just pounding through the storm.

[Alex]

And Alex is just like, well, let's get to that. Because then we could talk about like what our journey was like even after we landed. Because that in itself was interesting. Because when I landed. We'll, we'll talk about it. The bathroom.

[John]

Let's talk about it now.

[Alex]

No, let's talk about from the beginning to Florida. We brought our niece and nephew to Disney. And I mean, we, my brother and sister in law came as well. And my grandparents were like, well, we're not gonna miss, you know, our niece and nephews.

[John]

Not your, your parents. They're not your grandparents. Well, Graham, you go, you go. My grandparents? Yeah. I don't know your parents, your brother, his wife, their kids, they didn't want to do it. I think you said the most complicated way possible.

[Alex]

The whole fucking family went, except my sister. She stayed back and watched the dogs. We all went to Disney. And I will say, bringing your kids to Disney and these aren't our kids is not for the faint of heart. I want to know truly anyone who has brought their kids to Disney, ages 3, 4, and below. Are you having fun? How are you being productive? What are you doing?

[John]

Are you okay?

[Alex]

Are you paying for Lightning Lanes for every rides? Because it's like you got maybe a 10 to 15 minute window before they're like, ready to get off that line.

[John]

Oh, the kids?

[Alex]

Yeah, the kids.

[John]

I think it depends. Our niece and nephew have never been like, outside of like, where they live before.

[Alex]

But I think that it, Disney in itself is an exhausting thing for kids. Like, they want to, you know, they're like, they don't want to be in their stroller even though you bring it until they're super exhausted. And then they have, you know, their body just makes them go in the stroller. But it's like, it's so hot. There's so much walking for their little legs. It's like, I can understand why they get cranky. I was cranky too. So hot and humid, but so much screaming.

[John]

So many meltdowns everywhere. Not just from, not just from our niece and nephew, but from other kids. I'm like, oh, my God, these poor parents. I'm like, what do you do? And then I was even thinking on the plane last night when we got delayed, I'm like, fuck, imagine if we had a kid here and we're just trapped in the airport.

[Alex]

But that's my question is we looked around and I didn't see one kid, like in that age range smiling or having a good time. The most fun that our niece had was when it started downpouring and she was just ecstatic that she was able to jump in puddles and dance in the rain. She was having the time of her life. I was like, we should have just stayed at the hotel and she could play and splash in the pool.

[John]

Give a kid a cardboard box. They would love it. They don't need all this bougie.

[Alex]

Anyway, so we decided that we're not going to Disney until our kid is 25, can pay for himself.

[John]

We can go on the rides. Not for the faint of heart. Good time though it go Disney.

[Alex]

There was good moments seeing them, you know, play with their bubbles. But it's a completely different experience going with kids. People who are like, oh, just wait until you have kids to go. No, I would argue you have to go before.

[John]

I'm just so glad I got my face painted in 95 degree weather.

[Alex]

You love Florida. You talk about moving to Florida all the time. I was just wet the. The whole time, just sweating and not wet in the good.

[John]

I mean, it depends on where you. Jesus, just Depends on where you go. Like, Tampa's cool. Like some other cool places. I just. Like, you're. If you're at a beach, we're in a amusement park with thousands of other people. Yeah, it's a little different.

[Alex]

It was just too hot. I can't. You. Your ass chase already. Think about how much your ash ass would chase.

[John]

I can't even ask. Would chase how much we're running off, like five hours of sleep anyways. Yeah, you're.

[Alex]

You would be the face of that aspirate powder.

[John]

Lucha derm.

[Alex]

Yeah. Is that how you pronounce it for.

[John]

Your butt and for your jock itch?

[Alex]

Okay.

[John]

I don't know what else. Anything else. Yeah, we're done. We're done, like, going places. We have too much shit to do even in our own house.

[Alex]

Because I'm high risk Next week, I'm literally not allowed to leave the fucking house.

[John]

You gotta stay. Yes. You're unlocked.

[Alex]

You can go wherever you want. And I just have to close your eyes.

[John]

You guys heard it here. I can go wherever I want.

[Alex]

I don't care. Please, please go. We've had this discussion already. Do your own thing, John. Go off, be free.

[John]

I don't know how to do my own thing.

[Alex]

Is that the issue in itself? It's like, you're like, I want to go.

[John]

If you were like, go do what you want to be like, what is that?

[Alex]

What plans do I make? No, but I do wanna talk about when we landed. So we landed at 3am and was it last week that we talked about you peeing on your friend's shoe?

[John]

I think so.

[Alex]

Or the week before. Either way, go back. Listen to either last week or the week before, John talked about this story where he peed on his friend's foot. So I land, it's three o' clock. Go straight to the bathroom. Cause I have to pee every five fucking seconds. I. I get in the stall and I hear splashing happening in the stall next to me. But I'm like, that is not splashing into the toilet. That's splashing onto the floor. So I see next to me a puddle of pee forming and creeping into my stall. And then because there's so much overflow, the splashes start to splash onto my ankles. And I'm like, what the fuck is happening? So I'm moving. I'm moving my feet to the side. And I'm like, I'm in the splash zone here. So I get out, I'm like, ugh. And this lady had just completely missed the toilet. And I guess maybe she was asleep because it was 3am I just wonder.

[John]

Like, how do you.

[Alex]

How do you.

[John]

Because you're sitting when you pee.

[Alex]

Like, I'm squatting. I'm not on a public toilet.

[John]

How do you fuck that up much longer?

[Alex]

That's I'm going to be able to drive.

[John]

Like, she wasn't even close to the toilet. Like it was straight. It wasn't like ricocheting down. It was just straight down into the floor.

[Alex]

I mean, I wasn't under her stall. I was just seeing the pee come. So I'm just assuming the flow was not a direct stream.

[John]

Oh boy. Just ask your night. And then, then we got.

[Alex]

I didn't want to be her friend after that either, John, just so you.

[John]

Know, I don't blame you. I don't blame you. But then it was raining. Then we got an Uber. You know, I'm going to kind of have to shit on this Uber a little bit. We. The guy you're picking us up from the airport. And like he was totally shocked that we had luggage. He literally, he was, he goes, oh.

[Alex]

Granted it was a 3:30am Uber, but you don't from an airport. He looked at us and he's like, oh, you have bags. And I'm like, yeah, he had no room in his trunk. No room in his.

[John]

All in his trunk.

[Alex]

Yeah. And so he's, he's moving things around. John is like, I will put the bags where you need them. And he's like, no, no, I got it, I got it. It was just. And then, and then whatever. He shoves the bags into the front seat.

[John]

There was what looked like a massive diarrhea stain on my seat that I'm going to sit. I'm like, what is happening? I don't even care though. I was like, if there was actual shit sitting on the seat, I would have sat. I'm like, just get me the fuck home.

[Alex]

Get me home. But then we get in there into his car and whatever. I'm like, it's 3:30am you clearly just picked us up. We said we had a long day. He starts having conversation with us. I'm fine. If Ubers. Uber drivers want to have a little chit chat in the beginning, like warm up, but make sure that you're paying attention. This dude is just so into this conversation, we're not even answering him back. And John goes, hey, you got to turn right here. You got to turn.

[John]

You're going to look at the gps.

[Alex]

He misses the turn lane and then just has to Turn straight in the intersection. I'm like, oh, my God, just please get us home.

[John]

Was not the fucked up. Thing is you still gave him five stars.

[Alex]

No, I didn't give any review. And I told you that I'm not gonna give someone a bad review. Like, I'd rather just not give a review similar to our pasta lady. I just said, instead of a bad review, I just won't give you a review. She didn't deserve a bad one. I just.

[John]

It's not in this case, saying nothing is better than saying something.

[Alex]

Yeah, I just don't. Like, you know, you did bad. I hope so. You don't need me to remind you, but there are people in the world who, you know, speak up and they make change. I'm not one of those people.

[John]

We're making change through the podcast. We're making people, you know, better.

[Alex]

I'm more about, like, positive reinforcement, you know, like when you do good. Like, I tell you all the time.

[John]

Like, you're so good first off. You can end the sentence there. You tell me all the time.

[Alex]

Nothing all the time that you do good.

[John]

Okay.

[Alex]

You do so good.

[John]

Oh.

[Alex]

I know. You're, like, looking at the door like you're trying to leave.

[John]

I know. I was like, how much time are we at? 14. What else?

[Alex]

Already over it. Over this.

[John]

You know, you just need like a. I hate having, like, schedule with this, you know, like, I want to do it when we want to do it. Like, last week we were on. We were on. And now I'm like, john, remember when.

[Alex]

I told you that, like, creativity sparks at certain times of the day is.

[John]

Your sparking right now?

[Alex]

No.

[John]

Okay.

[Alex]

I was going to say maybe if we. We're never in tune.

[John]

We're not. I'm in the morning. I am good to go.

[Alex]

Do you know what time we got home this morning? 3:30. Do you know time we woke up?

[John]

I woke up earlier than you did.

[Alex]

30 minutes earlier than me.

[John]

Okay, well, I immediately started, you know, whatever. Anyways, I don't think there's really any other updates. Nothing crazy.

[Alex]

I'm sure there are. I'm just. My brain is so fried. All I kept thinking was, I. My ankles got peed on by a stranger. That's all I kept thinking about. It just hits me at random times. I'm like, I've never had that happen before. But you know what? Maybe it's training to get used to the amount of pee and poop that we're getting. Future.

[John]

I have something.

[Alex]

I lost something once.

[John]

I have to on Florida, for one thing. Your coffee blows.

[Alex]

Maybe it was.

[John]

Your coffee sucks. It tastes like complete dog.

[Alex]

I feel like you're gonna get some hate for this.

[John]

It's. I'm just talking about your coffee. I like the state. I'm like the co. It tasted like the most diluted water, brown water I've ever had.

[Alex]

We didn't find a good coffee spot.

[John]

I wanna. I wonder if it's the water.

[Alex]

And also, who's drinking hot coffee in Florida? It's so hot there, and it was never hot enough.

[John]

I want it like boiling when I drink it.

[Alex]

I just think, of course it's not.

[John]

Gonna be good because, no, we didn't go to start.

[Alex]

It's like getting sweet tea in New York.

[John]

You know, every state has things that they're good at and not good at. Like Florida, I know, has good. Like gator.

[Alex]

What?

[John]

Like cooked gator. You ever see those, like, tick tocks, like, eating like gator and. And snakes.

[Alex]

You. You wouldn't last one week living in Florida because of the gators alone. You get annoyed.

[John]

I'm not gonna go. The flies seek out a. A crocodile.

[Alex]

I think that they just, like, decide where. Whose lawn they're gonna go into. He's just gonna pop up. And then you. You hated the kai.

[John]

Everyone in Florida just automatically, like, takes care of their own gator problem. No, they call someone. What are you talking about?

[Alex]

I'm just saying you would want out a meaning immediately because of the gators. Like, the coyotes spooked you in California.

[John]

You know, I noticed that you're saying it spooked me, but I was the only one out every night with Kobe, making sure he didn't get taken by.

[Alex]

A. I. I would watch him and.

[John]

I heard or coyote.

[Alex]

Kobe, don't go hang out with your cousins. I said, come back.

[John]

Alex, the other day was. We're. It was the day I. My pants. Alex had Kobe and she's like, oh, look, a fox. And was like, trying to bring Kobe over to this wild animal. I'm like, what are you doing?

[Alex]

They're friends.

[John]

I saw this coyote that had, like, rabies or something attack this woman. It was wild.

[Alex]

In a video or in real life.

[John]

She was, like, walking and he, like, attacked her and she, like, kicked it and kept coming back and attacking her. It was crazy.

[Alex]

That's annoying.

[John]

Just stay away from the wild animals.

[Alex]

The fox is cute, though.

[John]

Like the deer in our yard.

[Alex]

They're cute too.

[John]

Eating all of our bushes and stuff.

[Alex]

My toxic trait is that I just want to be. I want them all to be my babies. Come, let me feed you.

[John]

Okay. We're gonna dive in, I guess. Let's dive in.

[Alex]

I know. Last week, strong intro. Today we're sleeping. You guys never know what you're gonna get.

[John]

Okay, that's natural.

[Alex]

That's. That's life.

[John]

You can't be on all the time.

[Alex]

I know.

[John]

You know. Okay, go. What are you staring at me for? Question number one.

[Alex]

All right, let's dive in. Not because you told me to, but because I want to. Oh, are you familiar now, Alex, you haven't said that in a while. I'm going to do it because I want to.

[John]

I don't want to get yelled at.

[Alex]

That's also. It was your birthday. I know. Last week it was your birthday the day the episode came out. But we didn't talk about celebrating your birthday.

[John]

Because we didn't. Because we didn't celebrate my birthday.

[Alex]

But we're going to. I'm just. I'm waiting for a few things first. Okay, get ready.

[John]

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[Alex]

Let's dive in. I caught my husband pleasuring himself to a photo of his female colleague.

[John]

Let's start in.

[Alex]

Works with hard and sees every day. In the office, it was a normal photo of her just chilling on a beach. When confronted, he said it was just a momentary thing, and he just did it for that immediate visual stimulation. It still disgusts me because it's weird to fantasize about people who you see almost every day. I want to know from John, is this normal for guys to sexualize or Fantasize about someone they see often. And Alex, what would you do in this situation?

[John]

Fudgeing, probably. I don't know. The only person I see is you all day long.

[Alex]

My question is, when you.

[John]

So, no, not really. Because I'm not. I'm not like, let me take a photo of Alex.

[Alex]

Who else do you see on a regular basis that you would potentially.

[John]

Your mom.

[Alex]

My mom in a bikini. If I walked in and saw you. But that's my question is, how does one catch someone else jerking off? Was it. Where did you. Do you walk? Oh, that's what I mean.

[John]

Like, because what was his excuse? He must have racked his brain so.

[Alex]

Hard or walked in on you doing anything.

[John]

I'm fudgeing. I'm a commando.

[Alex]

But you know, never know. Okay. Either Alex is out. She's not home for you. How do you get. Yeah, like, how. How do you get to the scenario to the point where you're walking in and how do you see what it was like? Was it open on his phone, his laptop? How did you know? That's the details that I want in this question. It's like, tell me how you caught him.

[John]

Did he, right in the moment, give you the excuse? Was he like, oh, sorry, I was just watching something. What did he. What was it? What was the excuse?

[Alex]

Photo of his colleague.

[John]

No, what was his excuse? I just caught up in the moment.

[Alex]

It was just a momentary thing for immediate visual stimul stimulation. What?

[John]

He racked his brain hard for that excuse.

[Alex]

Immediate stimulation would be. You Google something like pornhub.com. you don't go to your coworkers, tell.

[John]

Them some of your favorites.

[Alex]

Al, you don't go to your co workers, Instagram, find a photo. Save it. That doesn't sound immediate. That sounds like work.

[John]

I'll tell you.

[Alex]

You've done it before.

[John]

I'll tell you how I would feel about it in this situation. I feel very uncomfortable. I'd be like, you're not going back to work?

[Alex]

No. Okay, but is it normal when you used to work at the nursing home?

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Is there anyone that you used to. Barbara, Dawn. You did have, like, an ex named Barbara.

[John]

I did have an ex named Barbara. No.

[Alex]

Now we're in a fight.

[John]

She didn't work as a nurse. I was just thinking of, like, old lady names.

[Alex]

All right, Cheryl.

[John]

Totally forgot. I dated a Barbara.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I'm going way back.

[Alex]

You could stop thinking about her now. Just kidding. Think about her all year.

[John]

What's like, the most geriatric name of.

[Alex]

A person you've dated the most geriatric.

[John]

Name of a person I've like an old name. Like a Richard.

[Alex]

Well, define dated.

[John]

Oh God. You know what? I don't want to know.

[Alex]

I don't know, I can't. I think they were all. There's so many basic names like John's and Matt's, like that are just so common that I feel like those are the people. Like no one.

[John]

I don't think Matt's like an old name.

[Alex]

No, that's what I'm saying. Just like.

[John]

Well, maybe. Is Matthew biblical?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

So I don't know, you look like you dated a. Like a Jacob or.

[Alex]

I don't think I have a Jacob on the rack.

[John]

Judist or something.

[Alex]

Judist?

[John]

Yeah. Is that not a name?

[Alex]

Jude.

[John]

Jude, Jude.

[Alex]

Is it a boy's name or a girl's name?

[John]

I don't know.

[Alex]

Should we put it on the list?

[John]

Jude.

[Alex]

Baby name.

[John]

Baby Jude, Jude.

[Alex]

How'd you think of it? Well, I was trying to remember the people who I fucked and we came.

[John]

Up with Judas or Jude.

[Alex]

What is this question? Okay, so has. Have you ever fantasized if we were.

[John]

Just offending anyone, by the way?

[Alex]

I don't know. Sorry, my bad. Have you ever fantasized about anyone you've worked with?

[John]

No, because I didn't really have the opportunity to, so I don't know.

[Alex]

Oh, okay. I mean Judith. That's an old lady name.

[John]

Ah, Judith.

[Alex]

Did you ever work with any Judas?

[John]

No.

[Alex]

Okay.

[John]

I don't remember their names.

[Alex]

You don't have to like look offended.

[John]

I feel like I worked with a lot of Barbara's too.

[Alex]

We get it, John.

[John]

You can't stop thinking about Barbara. Barbara's only name I could think of off the top of my head.

[Alex]

I just think it's weird again to look at an image of someone that you know without having any then feelings towards them. Are you able to do that? Jerk off to a picture of someone that you know?

[John]

I'm pretty sure you can jerk off to anything if you're. If you put your mind to it. Like what do prisoners do? Prisoners that don't have any sort of.

[Alex]

They use each other.

[John]

You're in isolation. You're in isolation, four walls, nothing in your room. You're gonna get pretty imaginative.

[Alex]

Imaginative?

[John]

Imaginative.

[Alex]

Yeah, I guess you go back into your spank bank. But it's like not that. It's not like he had sexual relations with this girl. This would annoy me overall. What would I do in this situation?

[John]

I would feel very uncomfortable for sure.

[Alex]

But what would I actually do if I caught you jerking off to a picture of Barbara? I would be like, what? What the Number one. Number two, I don't know. I. I would be. I'm so petty.

[John]

What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I'd be so sad. Yeah. I'd be like, why?

[Alex]

I really think I would break up with you. Like I am. I would always think about that. Because I'd be like, you're with me and you're thinking about her. That would really hurt my feelings all the time. And I wouldn't be able to forgive you.

[John]

Just really unfortunate he got caught.

[Alex]

You know, I mean, to me someone might be like, that's not deal breaker. It is to me. Because I'd never be able to forget.

[John]

Would be hard to forget. I'd be like, are you thinking about me?

[Alex]

Because then any other time it's like, now you're the one. You just caught him in the actual. You're the one telling him he can't. And then I'd be like, but who else is he gonna fantasize about who he up?

[John]

He should have just like, it should have been a stranger. You can't make stuff purse personal.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

You know, when you make it personal, there's attachment to it and it. It affects people. Just stick to pornhub, dude.

[Alex]

Exactly.

[John]

I like how that's where we draw our line. Like randoms.

[Alex]

You don't know who they are.

[John]

Right.

[Alex]

They're actors. They're professionals.

[John]

Plus you work with that person. Like now you're jerking off to the person that you see every day.

[Alex]

That makes it worse. Real. Because again, then when you're hanging, that makes it real.

[John]

There we go.

[Alex]

Okay, next question. Am I the for being upset that my boyfriend of three years is going to a wedding that I was not inviting to because we aren't married. We live together, we have a kid together and even share a bank account together. I communicated when the invitation came that it made me upset. And he said he didn't even think he was going to go. Now it is the day of and he is going to.

[John]

That's. That guy's got some balls on him.

[Alex]

I would be pissed.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Also I would look at the couple and be like, are we even friends? But people have the weird. And we talk about this weirdest, like the weirdest rules, Right. When it comes to weddings where some people will be like, there's a saying called no ring, no.

[John]

This is like a wedding rider.

[Alex]

A wedding what rider?

[John]

Which I just learned about Writers, you know, like, how Beyonce only likes, like, pink strawberry. What?

[Alex]

Starburst is more of, like, what your demands are, I think, when you're it.

[John]

Like, if you're getting paid to go do something, like.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

But Beyonce only likes pink strawberry Starbursts or whatever.

[Alex]

She's saying, I only want green M and Ms. In my trailer. Right. But I don't know why was that.

[John]

So fucking hard for me to get that out of. Like, she wants something in her car, in her limousine only.

[Alex]

But does the definition of a rider cross over to a wedding?

[John]

What?

[Alex]

I don't. I don't know that that's like the same definition of just like, what your wedding rules are versus what, like, you want in your trailer.

[John]

It just seems kind of like. Like you're so specific. Like these specific things that are for just my wedding. I don't know.

[Alex]

I don't know.

[John]

So rules and riders aren't the same. Okay, let me ask you. It made me think of that. But anyways. Yeah, so I just feel like if she's making that a rule, like, only married couples can go.

[Alex]

Writer is a document that addresses additional details, conditions, or terms of a contract. So if you were to send each of your wedding guests contract, your rider would be, if you're not married, you can't come.

[John]

She better be making that for every single guest.

[Alex]

I. I would just question number one. I. Yes, you're justified. I would be mad if you went to a wedding where you and I had been dating for three years. We lived together, we had a kid, we literally were together. Dating in general, you should get a plus one if it's over a certain amount of time.

[John]

I mean, I know budget comes into effect with. With people's weddings, but that's tough to, like, invite. If you're inviting an individual, I think they should always have a plus one because, like, that's just kind of makes it so uncomfortable and awkward for that person going by themselves.

[Alex]

I'm in the boat of if you can't afford to have everyone who's invited to give them a plus one, then just cut down the list. In general, I think it's so inconsiderate to be like, hey, come out to. It's tacky as California. And by yourself, you can't bring anyone. I don't know. I think that's tacky. To each their own. Everyone has their own riders for their weddings. But yeah, I.

[John]

But your boyfriend or what fiance. That's very inconsiderate because again, people have their own rules.

[Alex]

Whatever they want. For their wedding. But it's the fact that your boyfriend went. I would be more annoyed with him.

[John]

Right.

[Alex]

Like, make the statement of being like, we're not going if who you're going.

[John]

To get mad at. Get mad at him first. Yeah, yeah, I agree.

[Alex]

Um, so.

[John]

So no, he shouldn't.

[Alex]

You're not the asshole.

[John]

No, you're not.

[Alex]

And before we continue, this episode is also sponsored by Better Help. Are you considering starting therapy but unsure where to begin? Give Better Help a try. With Better Help Therapy is entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and tailored to your schedule. Simply fill out a brief questionnaire and you'll be matched with a licensed therapist who fits your needs. Plus, you could switch therapists at any time at no additional charge. As everyone knows, I love therapy. It has saved my marriage so that I can. She needs it and John needs it too. So we love it together. It gets us through our highs and our lows. Truly, I started therapy to get me through a tough time. I honestly didn't think that I would be doing it as long as I have been, but I loved it so much and I'm like, I'm gonna use therapy for my good days and my bad days forever. Take the first step towards improving your mental health today. Visit betterhelp.com and start your journey to a happier, healthier. You get it off your chest with better help. Visit betterhelp.com straight today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H E L P dot com straight. Next question.

[John]

Perfect.

[Alex]

I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with me and my husband's first child. I've never liked being touched or hugged by people I'm not 100% confident comfortable with. So this pregnancy could be a bit awkward at times. Recently my mother in law, who I don't exactly get along with or see often came at my belly with both hands. I politely asked her to ask next time as I do not like being touched. Her response was, it's my granddaughter in there. I sternly responded saying that it's still my body. She did not appreciate my answer and continued to give me attitude for the rest of the evening. What are your thoughts? And Alex, what? What is your approach to the random belly touches that people feel as if they are entitled to?

[John]

I don't think anyone has touched your belly. I would slap the fuck out of someone. I mean family members, different, but like a random person, they've lost their mind.

[Alex]

I haven't experienced this yet, but it could be because I'm not Really showing that much. I feel like this past week was the first week that like I had some outfits on where I'm like, oh my gosh, did I pop? Because like, you could see my belly. But I haven't had that situation happen yet. It depends who it is because like, I know that I do that with my friends who have been pregnant in the past or family members. But like, we're very close and comfortable. But if anyone had said, like, I don't, or people who I know who don't like being touched, I wouldn't just touch them. But I think your mom did touch my belly. It's just to your personal preference. Like I wouldn't mind if it's a family member or a friend because it's like good intentions and it's not weird for me. My line would be a stranger or someone who I'm not close with. Don't touch me. Either way, you're allowed to draw that boundary.

[John]

Keep in mind, keep in mind that your mother in law.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

H, now you're just going to be dealing with this though, forever. It's like pick and choose your battles. I. I get it. Your body, all that. I'd be annoyed too. But now it's just going to be this animosity between the two of you.

[Alex]

No, I would like, let her. And also it's on your husband to also step in, like you already said.

[John]

Sure. But I'm assuming that it was just like, it's not like, hey, I'm gonna touch your belly now. I'm sure it happened just like automatically, you know, I don't think the husband had time to react. I mean, maybe he should be saying something afterwards. I mean, he should if it bothers you. But I'm just saying keep in mind you're gonna see her all the time now. It's just gonna be this like, weird situation with her.

[Alex]

I don't know. I just think you're allowed to like put your boundaries in place and not want to be touched because again, you are. This is a new phase. Some people love their pregnant bellies. Some people feel uncomfortable. Some people just don't want people touching them. It is one of those things where you do have to. I think people just automatically assume when you're pregnant, it's like they want to touch, you know?

[John]

Right.

[Alex]

They just go in for it. Talk to me in a few weeks when I'm showing more. And if I run into these situations.

[John]

I'll be telling her like, don't touch her.

[Alex]

Don't touch her.

[John]

You touch Her.

[Alex]

Yeah, I want to come. I want to come back to this question because I'm 22 weeks, and so.

[John]

No, I know you'll get annoyed. You. You'd hate it. I. I don't like people in my personal space either. I'm just. I just know when it comes to family, it's so tricky, especially somebody that you're. You see all the time. So that's where you. You pick and choose your battles a little bit, maybe, like. And I want. I want to express my emotion in the moment, too. I feel like there's a better way to go about it, unfortunately. And then your husband should say something afterwards. But also, like, you're going to have to have a conversation with her. You know.

[Alex]

I'm also one of those people that if I went to, like, a family event or something, I'd be like, nobody touched me. Could view from afar. You know, I'm. I'm the terrible person to ask because I don't. I haven't experienced that yet, but I can imagine.

[John]

Bottom line is, yeah, you're justified. You're saying set up boundaries. I'm saying, you. I agree with you, but I think you. Being caught up in the moment, you guys had this interaction with each other, that was not a good one, you know? So I think you just need to have a conversation with her about it and then just leave it at that.

[Alex]

Yeah, But I think again, you could just say, I love you. I hate being touched. You could hold baby when he's here, when she's here. You know.

[John]

I don't know.

[Alex]

Face this a lot, though. I'm like, I. I just.

[John]

It's so funny when you have conversations and, you know, after a conversation like that could have been addressed so much better because I'm. Now I'm just thinking of something that happened in Florida with your mom. I got so annoyed. And she listens, and I want to be like, jma, I'm sorry. You know, I'm sweating. It's hot as. I'm tired. I'm annoyed. And your mom comes up to me. She's like, you need to make sure Alex is drinking water. And for some reason, that just pissed me off so much. I'm like. I go, she's an adult.

[Alex]

You're like, she could fake.

[John]

I go, she'll tell me. She. She'll use her words and tell me she needs water. I was like, I already asked her twice. She doesn't want any water. And your mom's like, sorry. I want. Sorry. I'm being an adult in this moment, I'm like, we're both adults. What are you talking about? And then five minutes later, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.

[Alex]

Right?

[John]

You know, it's just, like, conversations could.

[Alex]

Just be taken out of context or in the moment, just when you're caught.

[John]

Off guard, you just say some shit, you know?

[Alex]

Especially when you're uncomfortable. Not, like meeting with that person, but just in general. In your body, when it's hot, when it's. When you're pregnant, you're like, oh, my God, everyone, leave me the fuck alone.

[John]

Right?

[Alex]

So I get it, because there are certain people who have already, like, gotten too handsy, and I'm like, back. Back up. I don't know you.

[John]

Another thing that happened, now that I'm thinking about it with you, that I got so annoyed. We're at Epcot, and you're like. You're like, let's buy the Lightning Pass, John. You can go on the ride. I was like, if I want to go on the fucking ride, I will go on the ride. I will get the Lightning Pass. Like, you're talking for me. It made me so mad. I'm like, guys, don't worry about me. We're here for the kids.

[Alex]

I know, but we're here for the kids. I know that you would have fun on it. So I'm like, I'm just going to preemptively do this thing for you because you're gonna just say, no, I don't want to.

[John]

It wasn't no. I was like, no, I don't want to go. The last thing I want to do is stand in line, even for 15 minutes. I don't want to stay in the.

[Alex]

No. When it's.

[John]

I want to stand in the shade away from everyone. I don't want to be nuts to butts in line.

[Alex]

But a line. If you pay for the lightning lane.

[John]

Again, I can use my words and let you know what I want to do. It wasn't about either one of us either. It was about the kids. And then. But like I'm saying, caught up in the moment, I was so annoyed. I wanted, like, murder Alex for even.

[Alex]

Suggesting John was the pregnant one in this situation with his just outbursts and emotions anyways.

[John]

So, yeah, communication.

[Alex]

It's hard sometimes, you know, but it's okay.

[John]

Well, we all have to do it.

[Alex]

Yeah, we all have to do is what it is. I don't know. Next question. How do you feel about a partner being content with not growing? I, female, 31, am constantly trying to get better at everything. I do. Whether it be fitness, hobbies, work and E. Etc, I've been on my own. I'm laughing because someone was like, can someone tell Alex she says etc. Etc. And I'm like, pretty sure I do pronounce it etc. But now I don't know. I was questioning myself, et cetera, et.

[John]

Cetera, how you supposed to say it?

[Alex]

Etc.

[John]

Etc. Et Etc.

[Alex]

That's ex.

[John]

Do you know what we're saying? If you know what we're saying, leave me the Leave us alone.

[Alex]

I've been on my own since I was 18 and have worked really hard to be the independent person that I am today. But my boyfriend of two years seems to be content with living at home, working a low paying job, playing video games and looking at memes all day, or just hanging out with friends. He's the sweetest, most loving and caring guy that I've dated, but sometimes I wish he was motivated to do more in life. He's gotten into working out and switched jobs since we started dating, but it's only because I asked him to. I'm not sure if his laid back and content outlook on life will be an issue for us in the future. Future. I feel like I might get bored if he isn't willing to get more ambitious in life, but I'm not sure if I'm overthinking it. Thoughts?

[John]

I guarantee you you'll get bored. This will become a huge issue. Him wanting to be like that is totally fine. You're not going to, don't try to change someone. It's not going to work and then you're going to resent that person. In the end, he's going to have to do it on his own.

[Alex]

I think it's also normal in relationships to outgrow someone and if someone doesn't feel like doing better for themselves or necessarily keeping up with you, you've outgrown that person. You know, you've been together for two years. You don't want to continuously nag them to do things that are going to be better for them. To your point, they have to do it on their own. You're not going to change them. So if it's already bugging you now.

[John]

I know it's tough to. I'm not, I'm not saying break up with this person, but I know how hard it is to make a change when nothing drastic has happened to, you know, like you're going to feel some sort of way if like you ended up moving on because you'd be like, well, he was a Good person. He didn't do anything wrong. But like not doing anything is. Is a problem.

[Alex]

Those are sometimes the hardest breakups.

[John]

No, those are the hardest because I rather something drastic happen. I've. I have had no problem cutting the people out. That something bad has happened and I've never thought about it again. But. But it's like if there wasn't really a problem, it lingers.

[Alex]

But this is a problem that would fester over time. I just think that you're. You. You would end up falling into the role of mom and just trying to make this person be someone who they're not. And that's okay.

[John]

Look at your future. Just think about in your future ten years from now. You're grinding hard, you're successful. Are you going to be okay with taking care of him? Because that's probably what's going to end up happening. Not as a mom role, but like if you're the breadwinner or you're the one working all the time and he's kind of just doing what he's doing now, would you see yourself being okay with that?

[Alex]

Well, and again, his type of personality is not a bad one. It's just not what you are looking for in a partner. So he might be better suited for someone else, just as you will be better suited or might be better suited with someone else. Unless he has vocalized to you that he's going through something and there's reasons why he doesn't feel motivated during this time in his life. Depression, something has happened. You have to just assume that he is who he is and things are not going to change. So.

[John]

And you know what? Things probably will change for him, but it'll take a long time. It just takes a while sometimes for people to like, for it to click. Like, I should get my ass in gear a little bit. Are you going to wait for that though? Because it's not going to be from you telling him. It's going to have to be from him doing it on his own.

[Alex]

Waiting for you to change is like waiting for rain in this desert.

[John]

Dessert.

[Alex]

What's. Why can't. I think. What's the word?

[John]

Is it from the Notebook?

[Alex]

No. What's.

[John]

Is it from Virgin River?

[Alex]

What is it called? Drought. Oh, my God. I was like, what's a. What's a desert weather? Drought? No, it's from Cinderella's story with Hilary Duff, who also, congratulations. She just had a baby.

[John]

Congrats.

[Alex]

We saw her at Trader Joe's once.

[John]

Good for her.

[Alex]

Good for her. I actually saw her at Trader Joe's twice.

[John]

Good for her because she's just, she's just like a boss mom, all the kids.

[Alex]

She is.

[John]

Looks great. Killing it, killing it.

[Alex]

Go Hillary. Next question. My husband gained weight and now it looks like he has a donut ring around his midsection. He also loves wearing tight fitting shirts and it's so unattractive. He wasn't always like this. Just in the last year. He keeps saying, I know I'm a little overweight right now, but I'm working on it. But it's been months and nothing has changed. I see no changes to his diet and he's always talking about working out, but I never see him actually do anything. I'm officially unattracted to him. I've suggested that we go to the gym together, asked him to join me on runs. You name it, I've tried it. It's finally at the point where our sex life is being impacted. To me, it's not necessarily about the weight, more so the lack of self discipline and pride in himself. When we were dating, we would always say that if either of us gained a significant amount of weight, it would impact our attraction due to this very thing. I finally said something. I told him his extra weight is starting to make me feel less interested in him physically since I am a very fit person. And when we were dating he was also. Now he's not speaking to me. He says that I'm his enemy for saying I wasn't attracted to him anymore. I don't know what to do. But we both set these standards for ourselves early on. I am holding him accountable, but somehow I'm the problem. Am I the asshole man?

[John]

This would be a perfect time to do a podcast ad sponsor if it was for like one of these shirts companies like Cuts or Built or one of those.

[Alex]

Why?

[John]

Because there's shirts out there specifically for men who have a gut. It's like tight around the arms, but it's like not form fitting.

[Alex]

They look attractive.

[John]

They look attractive. And I don't know the brand, but look well. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. Everyone's a little vain in a little bit. I said this from the beginning. Physical attractions for if I'm going to look at two people in a room, I know nothing about their personalities. I'm going to pick whoever's I'm more attracted to physically.

[Alex]

They're married. I just think too. I'm trying to think like in my brain. Roles reversed. If this was a guy saying this about a girl My response, I think would still be the same where it's like, it's not necessarily about. And this is what she said. It's not necessarily about the physical looks. It's about the lack of motivation in yourself. And so that's where you have to dive in and be like, what is going on? Are you okay? Is like, are you feeling depressed? Why are we feeling unmotivated? You know, and it sounds like you've tried to dive deep, deeper into this and get him to do things, to be active with you, but what is the reason why he's currently unmotivated or these changes? And some people just fluctuate in their weight, like during life. But you know, like, because if you were to say something to me post pregnancy, I.

[John]

That'd be very tone deaf of me. Yeah, I think make sure he's okay mentally. I mean, him saying, you're the enemy. Come on, dude, you can't fault someone for. If I'm a motivated person, I need you to be a motivated person too. And if there's a, an actual reason why, or you're just lazy. If you're just lazy, we have a problem. Like, there's a difference. So you're supposed to push each other in a relationship. And I would expect you to say that to me. Reality check.

[Alex]

Me, I. I don't. And you, I don't want to say you're wrong because you're not wrong for feeling the way that you feel. Like you're attracted to a person for a reason.

[John]

But maybe she shouldn't have said what she said first because, like, if this is the first time you said something to him, I wouldn't have dropped the knowledge so hard as you did. Like, I'm not attracted to you anymore.

[Alex]

I just feel like it comes across a little harsh when to me, completely caught off guard. And I have fluctuated between probably like 10 and 20 pounds throughout our relationship. Right now I'm like, extremely drastic. No, even when we first started dating, it's always been like, you know, you go through different seasons of life, but, and I say this all the time, that I truly am more attracted to your personality than I am to you physically. Like, of course that's a bonus. But again, you're going to get old one day. But I think you really have to hone in on the emotional side of this as opposed to so much the physical, because that's what will help him, what will help you. I don't know that you're the asshole for feeling the way that you feel, but I Do think I might have taken a different approach. And again, I say the same thing if you were a guy. Like, you're allowed to feel unattracted to your partner, but it's emotional.

[John]

Probably checking in with them first is the way you should have went instead of going in as hard as you did with what you said. Now I kind of see. I see it a little differently now. Yeah. Like, if I had no idea, and then out of nowhere, you came up to me and were like, hey, I'm not really attracted to you anymore. Like, fuck, that would. That would suck, right? Yeah.

[Alex]

Be a dagger to the heart.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I also feel like when you are not attracted to someone anymore, like in the past, when I've. When I've not been attracted to my partner, it's because of who they are mentally, like, who they are emotionally, you know, not necessarily physically. So that's what I feel like you should ask yourself too, which you did answer in here. It's the lack of self discipline and pride in himself. But, like, it'd be because I just don't like them as a person anymore. And then I find them unattractive. Like, at one point in a relationship, you used to find your partner the most attractive person. Then when you stop liking them is when you find them unattractive, you start.

[John]

Like, picking them apart.

[Alex]

Yeah. So maybe I would ask yourself, like, is it his weight or is it him? Is it your relationship?

[John]

And you're just trying to find a reason to get out.

[Alex]

Not necessarily find a reason to get.

[John]

Out, but just like, maybe, maybe, maybe subconsciously you're like, how can I.

[Alex]

At something that's more surface level as opposed to.

[John]

Well, you. Maybe you are, like, subconsciously trying to pull away.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

And you're subconsciously finding a reason how to do that, how to execute that.

[Alex]

I'm really trying to also just, like, think like, okay, if this was a guy writing it, because it's like, such a double standard. I think we're so quick to be like, how dare you?

[John]

You're quick. No, I always see both sides. Guy or girl. I'm always gonna say the same thing. Because I don't think that's right. You can't say one thing. Like, if a woman's saying it versus a guy saying. That's such.

[Alex]

No, I know, but that's why I'm trying to think like, okay, if a guy was writing this in too, I would be like, you're probably.

[John]

You'd put a little. You'd be a little bit more. You'd have A little more animosity towards the guy.

[Alex]

It would depend. Yeah, it's not. It's not as black and white, I think.

[John]

I don't know if it was the exact same words and it was a guy.

[Alex]

Because there's so much more pressure on women to hold the standard.

[John]

No, there's not. No, there's not. Because look at the health industry. Look at all of, like, what women have to look at. And look at what guys have to look at. Dudes that are jacked, apex taking testosterone or HGH or whatever the fuck they're doing. Like, the. The bodies that we are looking at that we're supposed to be. I mean, it's a lot too.

[Alex]

No, I'm not saying. I'm not negating that, but I'm just saying in society, there's a lot more pressure for women to maintain a certain beauty standard. Like, the dad bod is praised. It's like, oh, my God, I love guys with dad bods.

[John]

What?

[Alex]

Where it's like, mom bods are not. It's like, when are you bouncing back? There's just. There is a different.

[John]

I don't know. I think you're just biased because you're a female. I'm not biased. And I'm a male. I agree to both. I think it's. I think it's hard on both. I think it's hard on both men being. There's a fat bot thing. I think that's kind of like a parody.

[Alex]

I don't think that's dad bod or fat bod.

[John]

What did I say? I think you said fat bodies, dad pod. I think that's just like. I think it was kind of like a joke. I don't think that was like a serious nationwide thing. But guys, like, are supposed to take care of themselves. Look nice. I mean, you can go down the thing of, like, well, then men have to have all the money, drive the nicest car, have the nicest house. Like, just like the imaging of what men have to do and what women have to do for both of them. It's just. It is a lot for both.

[Alex]

Do what works for you. If he's happy in his new skin, let him. And maybe that's the question that you need to ask him. Are you happy? Is he?

[John]

This question we're. Wait. Yeah, next question.

[Alex]

Because these are. These aren't, like, easy questions when it comes to physical attractiveness in your partner changing over time.

[John]

No, but you. You were right, though. You were right in what you said it. You breaking it down makes more Sense than what I was saying. You really need to check in with them first. Your approach was not the best, but you. I think you are justified in how you feel.

[Alex]

Correct.

[John]

So just go back. You need to have another conversation with them. Again, it's all about communication and how you present your case.

[Alex]

Check in with him emotionally.

[John]

You're gonna have to check in with him because right now he's saying he.

[Alex]

Hates you because you're the enemy.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like in Tinder Swindler, when he talks about his enemies. I don't know why I thought that was the funniest thing. I'm like, who are your enemies?

[John]

I didn't watch that.

[Alex]

You didn't watch that? Okay, next. Next question. My fiance and I have been together for about 10 years. The conversation of getting engaged has been a frequent one for us. In the last five years, we have gone to look at rings together, so that way we both know what each other likes and wants. I've always loved and made it very clear that I love the oval shape, and I'm not really a fan of the other styles. We looked at dozens and dozens of jewelers over the years with my opinion never changing on what I wanted. Fast forward to now. We are engaged, and I have a beautiful ring, although it's the complete opposite of what I wanted. He said that he went in with more of the round style because he did not like the oval, and if he's spending money on it, he has to like the ring for context. My ring is about 15,000, so it's not that money was an issue. I've never felt comfortable saying anything because I never wanted it to be a backhanded compliment or come across as ungrateful. I love my ring, but at the same time, it's just not what I wanted. When we went to pick out this ring together, he didn't want anything to do with the ones that I picked out because he said he didn't like them and weren't his style. So it makes me wonder, am I the asshole for being upset that my ring isn't what I wanted when I always made it super clear what I would want? Am I being selfish or ungrateful?

[John]

Like, why does he give a fuck? It's her ring. She's the one wearing it. Just because you have to look at it.

[Alex]

It sounds like a little controlling that he's like, well, I want you to wear round.

[John]

What a loser.

[Alex]

I. No, I would go and exchange it. I'm not kidding. Like, you knew what I wanted, and if you didn't get me what I wanted, I'd be like, we're going to the gym.

[John]

Why does he give a. It blows my mind. It's like, it's about your fiance, what they want. It's like, the one thing that all women want, and you're getting her something.

[Alex]

She doesn't want to be completely different. If you guys never spoke about your style, you were like, I don't really care. What.

[John]

I mean, it's very specific what you wanted. You told him. Yeah.

[Alex]

If you didn't care. And then, like, he did something very special, you know, because it was the way that he saw you. Because there are situations in which, like, men have no clue. They just go. They're like, I think she would love this. And there is some thought and meaning behind it, but it sounds like he picked it out for his selfish reasons. And so for that reason, go to the jeweler, exchange it for what you.

[John]

Want, and be like, he obviously didn't listen to you. So you do what you want. Yeah, that's going to. I mean, that's going to really make this relationship healthy. In typical John and Alex fashion, we're like, let's dive a little deeper. Sounds controlling. Like you said, sounds selfish. Sounds controlling. Sounds slightly manipulative.

[Alex]

Manipulative.

[John]

Manipulative.

[Alex]

But I. I don't know if it's. I mean, maybe. Yeah, I could fall into the manipulative category, but it just don't go and.

[John]

Exchange it unless, like, you really don't give a. No, no, I'm saying because.

[Alex]

Oh, I would.

[John]

Sure. It's just not going to help the situation. What do you. How do you want to start this engagement? You know what I'm saying? Are you. Do you want to make it worse? You. Yeah, you're justified. You're justified doing whatever the fuck you.

[Alex]

Want, but it's like we're not bringing him along. You could say, honey, my love, I know that you had your intentions of why you thought that this was a better option. I'm the one looking at it every day. Join me.

[John]

Like, this is something. I would die on that hill for you. Like, I'm dying on this hill, sir, you want to go this far?

[Alex]

What do you mean?

[John]

Like, for her. Like, this is a battle that, like, I would die on that hill, like, to fight for that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Alex]

Or. Or maybe. Maybe he had a ring. Like it was an heirloom or something, and he didn't actually pay for a.

[John]

New ring, and that's why maybe he was previously engaged. He already had that ring, and then he's like, I'm going to reuse this ring.

[Alex]

There was a TikTok of a girl who found out that her fiance. Her fiance proposed with the ring that he proposed to his ex fiance. Fiance with. She was like, oh, my gosh, I love it. And he was like, oh, so and so liked it too. And she was like, what? And he was like, yeah, that was the ring that I used for.

[John]

He told her yes. I mean, at least he got ahead of it. I mean, at least he.

[Alex]

After he proposed. No. Throw the whole man away. No, I. I say that. You bring it up and you say, this isn't really what I wanted. Can we go exchange?

[John]

We should start a course.

[Alex]

A course on we, John. No one would buy it.

[John]

We should start a course.

[Alex]

This is our course.

[John]

But there's some common sense stuff that apparently people, you know, need a refresher on.

[Alex]

That's what this whole podcast is about.

[John]

Relationship 101 do's and don'ts. Don't reuse a ring.

[Alex]

Oh, well.

[John]

Don't cheat on your partner.

[Alex]

What else?

[John]

Communicate with each other. The rest you have to pay for.

[Alex]

That was just a little sneaky, guys. Just a little.

[John]

I love seeing, like, TikTok videos of these, like, inspirational speakers. And they're like, just saying the most basic obvious. He's like, what you got to do is you got to find something you both have in common with each other and that will grow your relationship to new levels. I'm like, dude, shut the up. How many other. How many other creators have said the same thing? Like, shut up.

[Alex]

You've said that.

[John]

I know. I say it all the time. I probably took it from him.

[Alex]

I was like, you've definitely said that.

[John]

But no, but I'm saying it in, like a. Whatever.

[Alex]

Best piece of advice I've ever heard. You both need something in common.

[John]

I say, like, that. I'm not saying in a way where I have a suit on. Like, I'm Dr. Phil giving the most inspirational, non unoriginal, educational.

[Alex]

I know.

[John]

Stuff.

[Alex]

We give a disclaimer every episode. We suck. We give terrible advice. Listen, anyway, this is for your entertainment, not for you to actually use. Although I do think that you should have that conversation with him about going to exchange your ring and then judge based off of his reaction. I'm also interested. This is the type of person who's going to be very involved in the wedding planning process as well. Like, you did nothing. Which you. I'm not saying you did nothing. You helped when I asked you to, but I'm Saying all the decisions, like, the creative, like, what I wanted. It came down to me. It was like my planning.

[John]

I think it comes down to who. Is it more important to you, the wedding day? I'm like, what is it that you want? I don't know. It's just. Is it common? Isn't it common sense? Like, I know this is something that's really important to you. It's not that important to me. Like, I want you to have the day that you want. Why am I gonna stick my fucking nose in it and make it worse?

[Alex]

Unless you are delegated a specific task to do. But yeah, this just. I. I want an update on this. Like, are you gonna keep this ring or not?

[John]

Send a photo of it.

[Alex]

It's probably beautiful, but if it's not your style, it's not your style. And you should enjoy what you have on your hand.

[John]

Everyone has their own taste. I'm not a fan of oval though, either.

[Alex]

Really? I like ovals.

[John]

What's the one you have?

[Alex]

Pear.

[John]

Pear. That's the one. I like pear.

[Alex]

I was like, you're not a fan of pears. And if you weren't, I wouldn't care because I like it and I'm the one who looks at it.

[John]

Is pear like an old cut? Is that like an old, like.

[Alex]

I would say it's not popular. Like an ovals, probably.

[John]

Is that like teardrop? Isn't called teardrop? Paris tear.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. What were rings back in like the 1950s where that was like a. I.

[Alex]

Mean, I would say, like, my bands are more vintage style, but I don't know what they had then. People got married by trading a potato.

[John]

Was probably like the ring that you actually got on the wedding. Our wedding day. Remember that? The band, it was like this diamond and had like metal rods shooting off it with little.

[Alex]

So bizarre.

[John]

I don't want to like, look like a spider web.

[Alex]

But our rings did not come correct.

[John]

I mean, I'm. I'm gonna bashing because it was completely opposite. I just asked for a basic gold band. I got silver. You got a ring. What is even silver? A basic gold band. You got this silver spider web thing.

[Alex]

Which.

[John]

Did you send it to the wrong.

[Alex]

People the day of your wedding? It's like I could see people losing their minds over that.

[John]

The guy.

[Alex]

Oh, my God.

[John]

The guy delivered it overnight the day before our wedding.

[Alex]

We went.

[John]

He had like months before, seven months to fudgeing. Do it.

[Alex]

That's just like. I'm like, were you just doing other things? Were you.

[John]

I'm sure. You were doing other things with seven months. Fudge, dude.

[Alex]

I know. We got it the day before our wedding. And then they were wrong. Anyways, that was 100 years ago, John. We're over it, right? Next question. I recently received a call from an ex girlfriend of mine who I was in a committed relationship with for about four and a half years. She informed me that she had applied to the police academy and that I was mentioned quite a bit in her background information as a roommate, boyfriend, et cetera. She also informed me that I was put down as a good reference to contact for her. When she called to inform me of this, I was told that I needed to make her look good for the academy and. And that I needed to keep certain things quiet so they wouldn't count it against her. She said they would be calling to discuss our relationship in the coming weeks. I was offended by this and told her that I didn't think it would be a good idea to have me down as a reference for this. Our relationship was great at first. I invested a lot into our relationship. However, towards the end of our relationship, she became abusive both physically and mentally. There were many instances where she had to be restrained by another person due to the fact that she would try to use weapons or other objects. It got worse and worse and eventually I had to get out. I am by no means perfect. However, is it wrong that I feel like I have to be honest with the interviewer? I know it's not my place to ever keep someone from getting a. A good job, but I don't feel right not telling them about the things that happen if those questions arise. Am I the asshole or should I be the bigger person and just let it go?

[John]

I was thinking so many different things to that question. And the first part, I was like, you're just being petty. Just be good, give a good review. And then after you told me the rest, I'm like, no fudgeing. Stick it to her. And then I was also thinking about what you said earlier. You just don't give a review.

[Alex]

And that's what I. That's what my advice was going to say is just don't answer that only thing to be was don't answer no.

[John]

Because people give you shit for saying that, because the reason why is because of what's going on in the world. You being like, don't say anything. But if this person's an abusive person and they're trying to be in a place of power, she's the one who.

[Alex]

Put you into the awkward position of Putting you down as a reference. Who puts an X down as a reference?

[John]

Oh, it was an ex, but I was put down for a reference for Secret Service for one of my fraternity.

[Alex]

Really?

[John]

One of my fraternity brothers.

[Alex]

But did you like them? Like, they probably chose you because they knew that you would give a good review.

[John]

Yeah, I don't really remember, to be honest. But then the other one who I didn't like, put me down for, like, he wanted to be a Mason. You know, those. Like, it's like a secret society or. Not secret. I don't know. Like the Masons. It's like the trade fraternity. Masons, carpenters, all that. I'm probably butchering it. It's got one of those.

[Alex]

I'm trying to follow.

[John]

You know that thing you put on for, like, a map? It's pencils on one end of it. And you do this.

[Alex]

An architect.

[John]

Yeah. What is that thing? Like, you draw a circle so that.

[Alex]

I know exactly what you're talking about. A protractor.

[John]

Yeah, you draw a circle. See, I'm sure you do other stuff with it.

[Alex]

Wait, no, I don't think that's called a protractor. A protractor is like, the tool. Oh, my gosh.

[John]

Pencils in one end and that pointy sharp point on the other so it, like, stays in position. You swirled around.

[Alex]

Yeah, I guess it is a protractor. A protractor compass set. It's a geometry tool.

[John]

Yeah. Hate geometry. Anyway, so it's that and then like an. A symbol or something inside. Anyways, he asked me to do it, and I still gave a good review, even though I hated that kid.

[Alex]

Yeah, it's a pencil compass. I don't. I would never have called it that. Yeah. But I don't know. I just feel like, why.

[John]

But that's not a position of power, I don't think.

[Alex]

No. Yeah. And. And that's. That's the thing here, is she put herself in this position by asking you to be a reference. You could be honest if.

[John]

Oh, wait, no, no. I'm cutting you off. The best thing you could do. Because since she is. Since she does sound crazy, say, yeah, I'll give a review anonymous. And when they call you, be like, I need this to be anonymous. She's batshit crazy. Don't hire her. She's abusive.

[Alex]

Yeah, and I would maintain your anonymity. Is that a word?

[John]

Don't ask me.

[Alex]

And give your honest review as long as it doesn't trace back. Because if she is as crazy or unhinged as you make it sound like she is. You don't want her coming back and retired retaliating towards you. But she dug this grave. She's one who chose you as a.

[John]

Reference of anybody else. Like her mom.

[Alex]

Like there's so many people. If I'm like put a. If I need to put a reference down for someone, I'm like, who is an amazing liar Because I'm like, who's.

[John]

Your ride or die?

[Alex]

Exactly. To like. If I didn't even tell them that they were down as a reference, would get a call and be like, how's Alex? And they would just go to bat for me, you know, an ex. No way. Never in a million years. So she did this to herself. If she doesn't get the job, it's her fault, it's not yours. But you do also have the option of just not answering a call. But would you just be doing a disservice to the public community again? I just, I think that people are going to make their own bed eventually. Like pe. She will reveal who she is.

[John]

Yeah, but that's. You had the opportunity to make sure she doesn't make somebody, doesn't hire this person and then she kills someone. You know, you don't know. Place of power.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

So anyways, next question.

[Alex]

Recently a distressing incident occurred where my husband left our 5 year old daughter unattended at the park while he engaged in a pickleball game. The facility was very crowded and I'm concerned that she could have gone easily missing. I was at the doctor with our son who has strep. So our agreement was that he would take our daughter and I would take our son to the doctor. There are many issues that I could address about the frustration with my husband, but this was the most intense thing that he has ever done. This one has left me feeling as if he did not care for the well being and safety of our daughter. I'm finding it incredibly challenging to navigate this issue with my husband and I'm deeply worried about the well being and safety of our daughter. I feel like there's a lack of accountability for his actions and it has left me feeling. Feeling helpless and upset. When he got home later that night, I locked all the doors and left him outside for about two and a half hours and then asked him, would you have done this with someone else's 5 year old? One hour later he responded, no, I would not have done that with someone else's kid. When I asked, then why did you do with ours? He had no answer for me. Any advice on how to go about holding him accountable, because at the end of the day, I feel like he just doesn't give a.

[John]

Did he just, like, tell you that he left?

[Alex]

Like, that's what I'm here to. How did you find out that he left your daughter alone unless your daughter.

[John]

Did he, like, rat him himself out? Was he like, oh, yeah, I played pickleball and I lost our kid.

[Alex]

Yeah, I don't know.

[John]

Or was he like, yeah, I played pickleball and she was like, right over there. I could see her.

[Alex]

I will say, after being in Disney with a bunch of children, it's. It's a full time. It's. It's exhausting. This is an excuse, obviously, for your husband. He needs to be on it, but it's like, man, one second, I'm like my 2 year old nephew so fucking fast. I'm like, holy shit, he's. He's gone like crazy. And then if someone just picks them up, they're gone. Gone.

[John]

Scary.

[Alex]

Just don't have kids. I mean, you can't keep up with them. Just get rid of your husband at this point. Like, he's obviously trash.

[John]

I mean, yeah, he's in the wrong for sure. What else are we supposed to say to that?

[Alex]

How. How to make him.

[John]

What's your question? What's her question?

[Alex]

How to make him feel accountable. You leave him. There's no other option here.

[John]

You snooze, you lose, buddy.

[Alex]

Yeah, like, now you go missing.

[John]

I mean, dude, what's your priority? Your kids are playing pickleball like, you're an idiot. Why'd you do that?

[Alex]

If, like, you want to go hang out with your friends and not have response.

[John]

Get a baby sitter.

[Alex]

Put your daughter on a leash.

[John]

Don't be like, like, that's. You can't always get a babysitter. Well, too, then too bad you're not gonna go play pickleball.

[Alex]

Exactly. Like pick and choose. You can't have both.

[John]

If you're somebody who gets on the defensive with that, you're the problem.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

If you have some sort of excuse.

[Alex]

You like, oh, my gosh, it's so. It's, it's, it's a lot. How do we live our lives? Well, you chose to have kids. You don't get. You don't get to live your life.

[John]

Shut up.

[Alex]

I can't. I can't wait for us to just be in this.

[John]

Anyone who's like, woe is me. Shut the up. You chose this.

[Alex]

Like, we had six adults with us on this trip. Two toddlers. And I didn't even feel like that was enough eyes. I'm like, this isn't enough.

[John]

We.

[Alex]

We need all hands on deck here to make sure that these kids are. We're fed, hydrated, taken care of, happy, changed, like, watched. Because again, it takes one second for something to happen. Like, your. Your husband's an idiot. Like, I just. I don't know what else to do except to say, like, I saw so.

[John]

Many different dynamics of parents and their kids at that park. The drunk ones, I saw, like, yeah, drunk parents, I'm like, I saw ones, like, yelling at their kids. Whatever. I mean, that's fine.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

But then I saw one lady. One lady literally was like, well, you didn't do your homework. And, like, screened. I'm like, why are you talking to your daughter like that?

[Alex]

The people watching there is just insane. Just go for the people watching entertainment.

[John]

Don't talk to your kids like that. I had dropping f ponds while I'm saying this, but I'm going to say.

[Alex]

To you like, you don't.

[John]

Yeah, what's the. The matter with you?

[Alex]

When we walked by her, we're like, what the is wrong with her? You don't talk like that to your kid. You.

[John]

I hate them just as much as I hate the people who run up in the. In the aisle at the plane.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Again, we're on the plane, these two ladies, straight, like, just like Long island, you know? And I'm from Long island, so I could say this, but little, like, ankle. Little ankle bracelet stereotypical, like, Long island girly twirlies run from the back of the plane to the front as soon as the plane lands. And the mom is like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I got to get off this plane. I got to get off this plane. And I'm like, you don't think we all want to get off this plane? We're all exhausted to what, wait at baggage claim?

[John]

Seeing older adults, too. Like, the ones that we're supposed to look at. Like, they're. The adults are like big children.

[Alex]

Like, oh, my God. Everyone.

[John]

Them losing their mind. Not like in a different lady losing her mind at the guy who's just, like, relaying he's not the pilot. She's like, what are you gonna do for me? I'm like, sit the down. Sit down.

[Alex]

Tomorrow I have to get home.

[John]

We all have to work. People making about themselves like, no one gives a about you. Shut up.

[Alex]

Everyone needs a nap. Everyone.

[John]

I go, I'm going back to. Everyone needs to get in a fight, be humbled.

[Alex]

No, everyone needs to be punched and just get humbled.

[John]

If you've not been. I could tell the people who have not been beat up before.

[Alex]

I told you, John, I haven't beat up. Can you tell? I haven't been beat up.

[John]

Anyways, best of luck. Okay, Wait.

[Alex]

Secret. I have one good secret. Ready?

[John]

Ready.

[Alex]

When I was younger, I went to a house party and got so drunk I had gone to we love, like, poop talk here. So of course I had. I'd gone to the restroom to pee and poop and someone had yelled through the door that the toilet doesn't work.

[John]

And.

[Alex]

And I just.

[John]

Worse.

[Alex]

Why would you have a party if the toilet doesn't fucking work?

[John]

Everyone does this for the fraternity houses in college didn't have toilets that worked for four years. There was shit piled out of the toilet.

[Alex]

That's a health hazard. Like, I wouldn't have people over if my.

[John]

I don't think you care anyway.

[Alex]

Let me finish.

[John]

Were you making charcuterie boards when you were 19 years old? Having parties?

[Alex]

I came from an Italian family. Of course. I'm always making a charcuterie couterie board.

[John]

In college you made charcuterie boards 100.

[Alex]

You're not even saying it correctly.

[John]

Charcuchie boards.

[Alex]

Yeah, it's a coochie board.

[John]

You made coochie boards in college?

[Alex]

I was doing coochie all the time, John.

[John]

I was doing coochie on the red.

[Alex]

Exactly. Coochie on the left, on Fridays, on the right, up and down coochie.

[John]

It's a body. It's a body.

[Alex]

All right. So someone yelled through the door, the toilet doesn't work. And I had just peed and saw a litter box. And I shit in litter box and covered it with more litter. Yes. I know. Not my proudest moment. So I had fallen asleep at this person's house, and the next morning the guy walks out in the living room and yells, who took a shit in the litter box? I had to act shocked and disgusted, which I was. When I got home, my then boyfriend asked me if it was me and I gaslit him. Now that it's 10 years later, fuck you, Colin. I did shit in the litter box.

[John]

That was very resourceful of her. I would have done. I wouldn't have thought a Z in that. Resourceful.

[Alex]

Resourceful.

[John]

When I'm tired, I just sound drunk.

[Alex]

Yeah, but that was. It's like the perfect. At least there was a little.

[John]

You know what? I wouldn't have thought. I still would.

[Alex]

Have shot in the toilet, but it fished it out.

[John]

No, no. Left it.

[Alex]

Like, that's your problem for not having a working toilet.

[John]

It is. It is your problem. All right. I'm reading a review. I saw a good one. I saw a good one. We Love dark humor. Five stars. Nickname 30188. I'll defend you guys till the day I die. Your humor and sarcasm are everything. Love how real and raw you guys are, and I hope you never change.

[Alex]

Oh, thank you.

[John]

Thank you. Nickname hashtag, cancel John, cancel Alex, Cancel Alex.

[Alex]

No, thank you.

[John]

Anyways, guys, like, I forgot. Is this my part? Like, subscribe, email, comment, do all the email. Did I say email?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Email me. Anyways, we love your reviews. We love you. Thanks for listening.

[Alex]

If you guys have any questions, you could email us at Hello. Give it to me straight. Podcast.com. you could submit your anonymous questions at the link in our show notes or in our bio, and you can find us on all the Socials at K23 podcast. Yay. Love you. See you next week. Bye.

[John]

Ciao. Ciao. Bye.