57. Giving you life updates, announcements, and gender reveals

Summary

Podcast Summary: Give It To Me Straight - Episode 57: "Giving You Life Updates, Announcements, and Gender Reveals"

Release Date: June 24, 2025
Hosts: Alex and John (Dear Media)
Description: Follow along as this husband and wife duo give you unfiltered advice from two different perspectives. No topic goes unspoken, from sex, money, relationships, the good the bad, and the ugly. Alex and Jon will give it to you straight.

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1. Welcome Back and Reflecting on the Hiatus (00:00 - 05:36)

Alex and John kick off the episode by addressing their listeners after a year-long break. They share the reasons behind their hiatus, highlighting that unforeseen life events necessitated their time away from the podcast.

John (00:05): "I want all the tea. You know, I want all the tea."
Alex (00:22): "We didn't anticipate taking a break, but life happened."

2. Coping with Loss and Grief (05:36 - 13:21)

The hosts poignantly discuss the tragic loss of their son, Leo, delving into the profound impact it had on their lives and their relationship. They explore their individual coping mechanisms, emphasizing the importance of therapy and open communication.

Alex (04:03): "We ended up losing our son Leo. It was the darkest time of our life... It was life-altering."
John (05:58): "I compartmentalize things. But every time we talk about it, it feels like we're reopening a wound."

3. Announcing a New Pregnancy and Navigating Fear (10:34 - 19:59)

With mixed emotions, Alex and John announce that they are expecting a baby girl. They candidly discuss the challenges of becoming pregnant again after experiencing loss, balancing hope with lingering fears.

Alex (10:34): "We are pregnant again. We're having a little girl."
John (10:42): "We're on an emotional roller coaster right now, my love."
Alex (11:04): "Pregnancy after loss is another challenge in itself."

4. Listener Questions: Navigating Pregnancy Announcements and Family Dynamics (39:03 - 58:35)

The episode transitions to addressing audience questions sourced from Reddit and other platforms. Topics include:

• Managing Early Pregnancy Announcements: A listener seeks advice on when and how to inform extended family about her pregnancy without others prematurely sharing the news.

  John (40:14): "Tell your extended family first. Do it all in the same day."
  Alex (41:12): "For us, we told everyone by week five or six. Immediate family knows early on."

• Social Media Announcements: Another listener wonders if sharing ultrasound pictures on social media is cringe-worthy.

  Alex (42:25): "Do what feels best for you. Unapologetically, I don't think it's cringe."
  John (43:15): "If you're not excited, then don't do it. No one's got a gun to your head."

• Handling Friends’ Pregnancy Decisions: A listener is conflicted about supporting a best friend who becomes pregnant after a short relationship.

  John (53:39): "You just want to stir the pot."
  Alex (54:07): "Let her live her life. If it doesn't bother her, it shouldn't bother you."

5. Reflecting on Their Year of Travel and Personal Experiences (23:32 - 38:35)

Alex and John recount their extensive travels during the past year, sharing memorable experiences from destinations like Dubai, Italy, and Switzerland. They illustrate how travel served as both a coping mechanism and a means to create new memories.

John (23:50): "We just went to a bunch of different places. I can't even remember all the trips."
Alex (24:33): "Being in Italy, pretending to be a gladiator was one of the coolest experiences."

6. Personal Stories: Adventures with Their Dog, Kobe (59:38 - 68:23)

The duo introduces stories about their dog, Kobe, highlighting humorous and challenging moments that add a light-hearted touch to the episode.

Alex (60:22): "Kobe throws up in six different areas in an hour. It's not normal."
John (62:25): "He's getting better. He's alive and fine."

7. Recommendations and Future Plans (65:19 - 69:34)

Wrapping up, Alex and John share weekly recommendations and discuss their plans for future episodes, including special guests and themed content.

Alex (65:33): "My recommendation is a book called The Housemaid by Frida McFadden. It's a great thriller."
John (67:12): "We're planning to have some special guests this season. Let us know who you'd like to hear from."

8. Closing Remarks and Emotional Moments (68:30 - End)

The episode concludes with heartfelt exchanges between Alex and John, reflecting on their journey together and the support they've received from their community.

John (69:22): "We're making our comeback, guys. Let's get this season going."
Alex (69:34): "Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Alex (04:03): "We ended up losing our son Leo. It was the darkest time of our life... It was life-altering."
• John (10:42): "We're on an emotional roller coaster right now, my love." [10:42]
• Alex (12:57): "Everything's gonna work out." [15:21]
• John (37:21): "Look, I like, damn. I felt like we were traveling almost like every week." [36:51]
• Alex (17:48): "But embrace your story. It's who we are now, and it's great." [09:58]

Key Topics Covered:

• Personal Loss and Grief: The profound impact of losing their son, Leo, and the ensuing grief journey.
• Announcing a New Pregnancy: Balancing hope and fear while expecting a second child after loss.
• Listener Engagement: Addressing audience questions about pregnancy announcements, social media sharing, and supporting friends.
• Travel Experiences: How extensive travel served as a therapeutic escape and opportunity for new experiences.
• Humorous Personal Stories: Light-hearted anecdotes about their dog, Kobe, providing relief from heavier topics.
• Future Directions: Plans for upcoming episodes, special guests, and content focus areas.

Conclusion:

In Episode 57 of Give It To Me Straight, Alex and John offer an intimate look into their personal lives, navigating the complexities of loss, healing, and the excitement of expanding their family. Through heartfelt discussions, listener interactions, and personal anecdotes, they provide a relatable and unfiltered perspective on life's ups and downs. This episode not only serves as a life update but also reinforces their commitment to offering honest advice and support to their listeners.

Transcript

[Alex]

The following podcast is a dear media production.

[John]

I want all the tea. You know, I want all the tea.

[Alex]

You just want to stir the pot.

[John]

You're like, stir the pot.

[Alex]

I want to say something.

[John]

People say, does it make you feel better? I feel great. I'm like, oh, I'm so glad I got that off my chest.

[Alex]

Because on average, like, you're stewing throughout the day just like, just hypotheticals in my head today. And I'm like, please don't be me. Please don't.

[John]

Oh, stop. I never fight you. And welcome back to Give it to Me Straight. I'm Alex and I am John.

[Alex]

And we are gracious, gracious, gracious, gracious host. We're Rusty.

[John]

Rusty.

[Alex]

This is going to be rough. It's been a minute. How you doing?

[John]

How you doing?

[Alex]

Did you miss me? No. Cuz I've seen you for all the.

[John]

Time we've been gone.

[Alex]

How's everybody else been?

[John]

You're going to ask them a question. Like they're going to answer.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Good.

[Alex]

Cause I'm curious.

[John]

How have you been for being. For not doing this for a year? You think, well, you're probably more prepared. Like, nothing has changed. For me, I'm like going right into the next. Start this again for the fourth fucking time and thinking the same.

[Alex]

Well, we didn't. Number one, we didn't anticipate on taking a break, but life happened.

[John]

Shit happens.

[Alex]

Shit happens. And then we continued to take that break for a year, so we figured it's been a year too long.

[John]

It's been great, though.

[Alex]

It's been great.

[John]

It's been awesome. A little bored, but it's. You know, podcast is a lot.

[Alex]

You know, we had two very different experiences then between that break. If you think that your break was awesome.

[John]

I didn't say awesome. I said it was kind of.

[Alex]

It was awesome. Roll the tape. It was awesome.

[John]

I was awesome. Not having to record is what I'm saying. Like, you know, we had a little more work, life, balance. It was nice. That part of it. Not everything has to be storm clouds in rain, you know, look at this come from me.

[Alex]

Coming from you.

[John]

A little positive. Not.

[Alex]

I'm not saying moving on, be a.

[John]

Little positive, you know, what have you.

[Alex]

Been up to, John?

[John]

You know, bring this mic out again. You're seeing the movie the Patriot.

[Alex]

Tell me, I don't know, like 100 years ago when it came out.

[John]

Awesome, Badass movie.

[Alex]

Is it? Because probably not.

[John]

What's his name? Oh, my God, I'm drawing a blank. He's from Lethal Weapon, Mel Gibson. So in the movie, and I'm making a point, in the movie, you know, he put his. He put his weapons away. He's never fighting again. The British kill son. And he's like, you know what I'm bringing, You know, he takes. He's like, that's it. I've had enough. And he takes his box from underneath his bed or wherever the it was, opens up the box. He's got all his weapons in there. And that's what I feel like with.

[Alex]

This podcast, Mike, that you're dusting off your weapon.

[John]

Dusting off my weapon. And I'm ready to seize the fucking day.

[Alex]

That's great. What's your motivation for dusting off your. Your dusty weapon?

[John]

What?

[Alex]

You're like, what do you want to talk about?

[John]

What you're, you're. You're spearheading this. You got the questions. What do I want to talk about? It's been so long. I don't know, so many things have happened. You tell us. What do we do? What do we do?

[Alex]

I don't know. Well, you don't want to talk about the storm cloud, so I'll start, I'll start.

[John]

Because apparently we need to talk about. No, no, the depressing. No, let's. This is real. Let's talk about the depressing part in our life first. I really didn't want to talk about it. I want to keep it light but like, for. To make us feel better and to get it out and it's good to clear the air, I guess, you know? Yeah, we stopped the podcast. We went through something very traumatic and rightfully so. You know, we needed time. We needed time to, to process it and. And, you know, get joy back in our life.

[Alex]

Yeah, I think when we ended last season, we had a lot of unknowns on the journey ahead of us. Like we just weren't sure what we were in for. And then as you guys saw or know, we ended up losing our son Leo. And it was the. It was the darkest time of our life. I don't think that you could compare anything that we can personally compare anything that we've gone through to that experience. It was life altering. Heart wrenching just changed us as humans as a couple. It brought us closer together, but we did have to take that time away. And I think this year off was great because we learned so much and we were able to experience so much again as a couple together. That brought us together closer, but it was a transformative period of time in our lives that I would never want anyone else to experience. But, you know, again, as we stated earlier, that's just life. Like, you don't get to choose the hand that you're dealt. Nobody is immune to tragedy happening to them at any time, and that's just how things happen. But we. I think we'll talk about, like, how our experience was with grief and how we kind of leaned on each other in future episodes, but we don't want to make this entire episode just focused on the. The loss and what that time was like for us. We really want to focus on the updates of, like, the positive things that we experience throughout.

[John]

Well, now I want to talk about it, since you just brought it up.

[Alex]

Okay, well, what do you want to say? You could. We.

[John]

We definitely cope with it differently, you and I. You know, I even, like, right now, I'm like. I'm such a person that, like, wants to, like, move on. I'm not saying that's right. And, like, compartmentalize. Compartmentalize.

[Alex]

Compartmentalize.

[John]

Compartmentalize. Like, things. And, like, I am. Oh, I say, like, I am. Okay. Like, I say that, and then I just feel like every time we talk about. It's like, re. Retearing a wound. I'm like, is that good or is that bad? I don't know. And I know you are doing therapy and, like, whatever that thing you're doing.

[Alex]

And it's like, emdr, shout out.

[John]

The more you. The more you tear, the easier you're gonna be able to cope with it, I guess.

[Alex]

Yeah. I mean, EMDR is a type of therapy where you reprocess your trauma. And it's not for everyone, but it was something that I had to do personally or that I had heard of from, like, friends who have done it, and my personal therapist recommended it. Where you reprocess these memories so that. Not that you forget them, you absolutely don't, but it just doesn't feel as painful. And it's so that you can function essentially, and get through life without holding so much weight on your shoulders about this traumatic event that happened. And what we went through really was trauma. And I think that you are on your own journey of healing. You know, therapy was not something that you wanted to do. You're very open in talking to me about things that you've experienced or your feelings. And I don't know. I don't wanna be like, men and women are different, because that's not a generalization. But I. I'm a talker, and I'm like, I need to get my emotions out. And having A non biased source. My therapist was healing for me and then again making our content, writing Shower. So if you guys don't know, we created a short film called Shower, which is, you know, loosely based off of our experience as well, what we went through. You could find that on our YouTube channel. But I think for you, that was a sense of healing. But I don't know. I don't know if it's. Will take you a little bit longer or what. What are your reservations?

[John]

I'm not gonna pretend like I dealt with the same exact thing you dealt with. I'm never gonna. I did not carry him, you know.

[Alex]

But you experienced trauma in a different way.

[John]

Sure. I experienced in a way where it's like, I just. Let's just be fully transparent about it because I'm not gonna, like, pretend I obviously I didn't have the connection with. With Leo like you did because you were carrying him. My connection was to you. And seeing you and what you had to deal with was brutal. Was brutal for me, but. And I feel like now that you're in a better place makes me in a better place, you know, so that's why I'm like, in my. Where I'm like, okay, I'm. I'm okay. I almost feel more guilty that, like, I don't feel that I wasn't as affected as much as you were by it.

[Alex]

I think that's normal, though. I think in situations of stillbirth where you didn't actually have a relationship with him like I did you again, I think that even happens when women have living children. Men don't necessarily connect with babies until they're there or even until they're a few months old, so. So I wouldn't carry guilt around. I think that you just process it differently. Like, I would say even after, you know, when we had taken a break from the podcast and we finally were, like, getting out and about and like, I was able to come up for air again, that's when you really started to take the time to grieve. But again, like, we don't. We don't have to talk about this. I know that you're not. Like, we don't have to. This isn't the episode that we want.

[John]

I don't know. I was like, you just open. I was like, well, now I could talk about, I guess.

[Alex]

Well, I mean, we ended our last season on a question mark, not sure where our family was growing or what. What path we were really going down. And so I think it would just be odd to come back and just not address the elephant in the room. But, yeah, we're gonna talk.

[John]

Yeah. Let's kick off this season with depressed depression.

[Alex]

Depressed.

[John]

But I like what you're saying. Like, we will. Let's talk more about this down the road.

[Alex]

I think it's also woven into the fabric of who we are now. So I think as we answer questions, as we talk about growing our family, it's just a part of our story. And so I don't think it's something to just shove under the rug or be embarrassed or, like, we can't discuss. It's just, like, now it's our story, and it's who we are, and it's great.

[John]

Am I crying? Am I tearing up? Yeah, it's the lights. The lights are in my eyeball.

[Alex]

But it was tough. And so I think we're excited to be back. And on a more positive note, we. We are pregnant again.

[John]

I'm on a emotional roller coaster right now, my love.

[Alex]

And you're like, therapy's not for me.

[John]

No. I'm happy. I'm. We're so lucky.

[Alex]

Yeah. But pregnancy after loss is another.

[John]

Are you, like, trying?

[Alex]

I can't. I can't look at your eyeballs and not tear eye.

[John]

We have talked about this enough. We're like, oh, well, we're on camera now, and we're just falling apart.

[Alex]

You know what? Why? Because there's no. There's no distractions when we're here.

[John]

We're like, we got to focus on each other, focus on what we're saying.

[Alex]

Pregnancy after loss is another challenge in itself. And so an another topic in which we will discuss in depth.

[John]

Alex is pregnant.

[Alex]

Yay. Did we say what the gender is? Did we reveal?

[John]

Yeah, we're having a little girl.

[Alex]

A little squirrely girly. Yeah. Which is crazy. It's crazy. I mean, you're gonna be. I'm pumped girl dad now, but I think this time around, it's just been so different. I'm in the third trimester now, and I can't say that this has been fun for me or easy especially. Oh, my God, John, don't look at me now I'm gonna cry. Especially after experiencing loss. It's been really tough.

[John]

But I mean, even us, like, saying right here, like, we're pregnant, it's almost like it was forced. And we're just like, I just want to get to the finish line. I don't.

[Alex]

It's like, I don't think once you've experienced a loss or a late term loss or, you know, that you really can take a breath of fresh air or really just breathe a sigh of relief until the end. And so I think us powering through it scared is all that we can do. But I've gotten to the place too where I don't want to look back and regret not being excited because there's the part of me that it's. That is excited to be pregnant, to be growing our family to hold onto the hope that like she might actually arrive. But then there's the other part of me that you know is like, maybe not. There's still the chance isn't zero. Or like, you know, the risk of something happening isn't zero. So it's a whole back and forth. But we've been navigating this for the past seven and a half, eight months. And so, or however, six and a half, seven months. It's, it's been a journey, it really has. But we're trying our best. We're doing what we can.

[John]

I mean, you're at a point in your pregnancy now where we're further along than we were.

[Alex]

Yeah. And we had.

[John]

And I try to like, tell Alex to. Every time we say something good, Alex follows it up with a negative. And I'm like, we gotta be more positive.

[Alex]

Well, I know this might come as a shock to you guys, but throughout this process in pregnancy, John has actually been the optimistic and the positive one and I've been the negative Nancy. So yeah, you've been. One of us has to so positive in helping me look at the bright side and not, you know, not walking around with such a dark cloud over my head because I think it is so easy to just taint every experience, every milestone and just wait for the.

[John]

Shoe to drop, which I'm putting my like, nuts. I still had healthcare, right. Like, I still have my whatever, but I'd be a terrible thera therapist now. I have like a healthcare blinders on right now. I'm going exactly off of what the doctors are saying. No news is good news, it's boring. Everything is good. And that's what you want during a pregnancy. Every. Everything we've heard is she's so healthy, no problems. And like that's what I'm focusing on. And that's kind of what I keep trying to reiterate to you, like just go with the facts right now.

[Alex]

And I think based off of our last experience, like, although it was a high risk pregnancy early on, no matter what, it's all out of your control. Whether it's a healthy pregnancy, until the end, and you don't know how your delivery is gonna go. You know, again, for me, my biggest fear is having a healthy pregnancy and having a stillbirth, because that's being part of a lot of loss groups. That's still what happens to a lot of women carrying babies and, you know, or children who are born and then get sick. Like, you can worry about everything. And so it's. It's tough because it feels like you're getting back into the driver's seat of a horrible car crash that you just experienced, and you now have all this PTSD and trauma, but you just have to work through it and know that you. Not everyone gets struck by lightning twice. It's rare that that happens, and it's rare to get struck by lightning once. So you just cross your fingers and hope for the best. And again, at the end of the day, we're fine.

[John]

Everything's gonna work out.

[Alex]

When she's here, we'll still be nervous about things, so. Topics that we will continue to discuss on this show moving forward, if John.

[John]

One thing, and I don't want to. I'm not going to say the name of the person who's pregnant, but close to us. Like, I guess that's another issue that I probably need to work on, too. Almost like not trying to sabotage their pregnancy, but they're early on, and it makes me nervous for them where they're so excited and they're talking about the future, and I'm not trying to take that away, but I want them to. I just want them to, like. And they're close. Like, that's why I'm comfortable, like, saying something. But I want them to just be cautiously optimistic, I guess.

[Alex]

I think, though, on the other side, those are inside thoughts, because you can't project your fears onto other people's experiences. It's like, just because your husband cheated on you does not mean that my husband will cheat on me. You know, like, everybody's experience. Experience is so different because I've caught myself in very similar situations when people are giving me updates on their pregnancy. And I think, too, that's the really tough thing is after losing a child, my nephew and Leo were supposed to be one week apart. And so seeing him be born was another challenge. Hearing about close family members and friends getting pregnant after that, another challenge in itself, but. But kind of keeping your cards close and not projecting your fears onto them was something that I had to learn how to do because it. It's not fair to them.

[John]

I know. I know. It's not Fair. And I wouldn't just say that to anyone, but I'm very close to this person and I. I want to protect them, I guess. And I know that's not right, and it's a delicate way of saying it, but I just don't want them to just. I don't know. You know, I don't. I just don't want them to get hurt, that's all.

[Alex]

Well, what I've learned from my therapist, which is why we made the decision to announce, because the story that I was telling myself was, if we announce that we're pregnant and expecting and I lose her, it will hurt so much more. Having put out this excitement. And my therapist was like, but will it hurt more or will you just be hurting alone? You know, like, you just have this fear. And so it's all.

[John]

It's a really good point.

[Alex]

I don't think it would make it hurt any less, you know, just because you get excited and you envision this.

[John]

Future and while you're pregnant. I think it does help because now, instead of trying to, like, hide this and, like, hide your happiness now, anxious, whatever, but, like, you're still. We're still so excited. Like, now we can be comfortable talking about it being out in public, not. You're not trying to, like, hide your stomach. And I just think it'll be better for your mental health.

[Alex]

I didn't want to. I didn't want to announce for a long time. And not everybody has to announce. And that's like, you know, a lot of what we'll focus on today is just pregnancy announcements across the board, because I think that they're so. We have such a different perspective on people announcing their pregnancies after experiencing loss. But I just didn't want to talk about it. I just felt like getting pregnant after loss was something that I wanted to keep close between you and I, because I was fucking terrified. I was, like, sad something might go wrong. And I don't want to tell anyone. I didn't even want people to ask me how I was feeling, you know, what my thoughts were on it, give their opinions on if they thought it was too soon or not soon enough. You know, we got clearance, like, two weeks after losing Leo, and they were like, try again. And I'm like, I am unwell. Absolutely not. But then it's all consuming, and that's all that you fucking think about. And so for us, it was just a constant conversation. But getting pregnant again, I just was caught off guard in a way that I didn't anticipate how I was going to feel. And so we just had it. We were, it was truly taking it day by day. And so we still are. We're still taking it day by day.

[John]

But I think also we should just acknowledge like the amount of support and the outreach that we got from family, friends, fans, so much. And then, and like you talked about Shower when, when this happened to us, there was, there was nothing out there. There was, there was no real support that I found or saw. I mean, it didn't look like really hard, but I don't know, it just. When people reached out to us, it meant a lot. I mean, the people that people, you know, you, that are so close to you, that never bring stuff up, my parents, friends and neighbors and came up to him, they're like, I never knew.

[Alex]

You know, it just experiences taboo.

[John]

You don't. They don't talk about it.

[Alex]

Yeah. Like people coming out of the woodworks and it's. I will say it still wasn't people. Like, there was no one in our immediate community that we knew who had experienced what we've experienced again, because it's very rare to go through a late term loss. But hearing after we had shared the people who were friends of friends or sisters of friends who had come to join this community or welcome us into their community. The lost community is the club that you don't want to be a part of, but it is the most warm and welcoming and understanding community that there is. Because you don't get it unless you get it, you know. But it was crazy. I think after releasing Shower, like we shot it, had it through the film festival circuit and we just released it, what, like the weekend of Mother's Day. And seeing the impact that it had and hearing the stories from so many other people, I'm like, holy shit. Like, this is it. It so far reaching. But I hate, I hate that so many people can relate to it, you know?

[John]

Oh, that's. I don't know. That's why we did it, right? To, to bring awareness and to help people and.

[Alex]

Yeah. Well, again, I think that we will continue this conversation and I do want to do an episode on how to show up for people who are grieving. You know, I think before losing Leo, I don't know that I necessarily would have said the right things to someone who had experienced what I went through. And now being on the other side of it, we could tell you what to say, what not to say, and just how to show up as a good friend, a good loved one while someone is experiencing A dark time in their life.

[John]

And I almost feel like we have two different opinions on that.

[Alex]

Really?

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

About, like, how to show up for.

[John]

Someone who's grieving or bringing it up or talking about it. Yeah.

[Alex]

What do you think that we have differing opinions on?

[John]

Do you. When people come up, do you want to talk about it? You know, because for me, I'm like, I don't want to talk about it. So, like, even people coming up quick, like something quick interest.

[Alex]

Well, no. So I think that there's different tiers. There's, like, your close immediate circle, then there's acquaintances, and then for us, it's a different layer because we have strangers. So my expectations of these tiers are different, but for a person who's not a public figure, they're most likely dealing with your close immediate circle and then your acquaintances, like work people or just like, friends or neighbors that you run into. But again, I think that you don't want to talk about it from a nest, like, necessarily a stranger. But if your parents never brought it.

[John]

Up to you, I'd be pissed.

[Alex]

Exactly.

[John]

So I think I don't need to talk about it again or, you know.

[Alex]

Right. But I'm. I'm talking about, like, immediately after ways of showing up for someone. But we can. We can disagree in the next episode about what. What our opinions are on showing up for grief.

[John]

Okay.

[Alex]

So, yeah, we ended up having a pretty busy year. Lost our son, had to heal from that. So we traveled a lot. Some of the best advice that we got was, if you're gonna be sad, be sad with a view. So we just spent the entire year traveling. I think we were.

[John]

That was the most traveling I think we've ever done.

[Alex]

Yeah. And I have no regrets. It was exhausting. But it was some of the most like.

[John]

But it wasn't even like we were going on vacation. It was like, one vacation. But we, like, went for work. We just got lucky with, like, work ops to go places. And it could have been better timing.

[Alex]

Yeah, well, I think that we put it out there that we were like, we want to get out. And so we manifested a lot of, like, work opportunities, thankfully. And we're were really blessed to be able to get out of the country and even travel in state. But, yeah, so we did what were. What were some of the big ones?

[John]

Dubai.

[Alex]

Dubai.

[John]

We just went to a bunch of different places. I can't even, like, remember. We did so much in a year. I honestly don't remember. I don't know. You went through your phone, and I.

[Alex]

Know, I was like, damn. I felt like we were traveling almost like every week. The first one was the Doctor, which was just. We did nothing except hang out with each other, drink some beers and cry. And then Kat was such a great friend to us. Like, we would go to Florida, visit her. She would keep us laughing, like, have a packed itinerary. She would come here. We went to LA a few times. We're spending time with our team and our friends over there. We ended up doing Dubai, Italy. You were a gladiator in Italy?

[John]

Yeah, I got fucking sick in Italy.

[Alex]

That was fun.

[John]

Yeah. Let's talk about Gladiator. That was sick. Even though it was definitely frowned upon, I was the one who put it together. It was awesome.

[Alex]

The company that we partnered with got. Ex. Got. What's the word that I'm looking for?

[John]

Let's. We'll tell what we did, but just don't come at us, because I. We weren't the ones.

[Alex]

No, no, that's what I'm saying. They got permission from the government.

[John]

They got permission from.

[Alex]

To do this.

[John]

Not Italy. Rome's. Rome's government.

[Alex]

Whatever. Does Rome have its own government? You know what? Don't.

[John]

I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Like their own little mayor. I don't fucking know. I'm assuming, so. So I got to pretend to be a gladiator in the Roman Coliseum, and probably one of the. Probably the coolest experience, you know.

[Alex]

Okay. So it was beautiful. I was like, europe just doesn't.

[John]

This was to promote Gladiator 2, by the way. It wasn't just randomly.

[Alex]

I was going there dressing as a gladiator. But, like, we get there, we're like, you know, let's get some, like, wine. Well, everybody gives you snacks where you go. You just get a drink, and they're like, here's some snacks. We need to start adopting that in the US I want to go just grab a glass of wine or the coffee. In a few months, they give you the. And. And get. Yeah, some. Some crispy crunchies, some little nuts, olives, a mini coochie board. Thank you.

[John]

I will say, going to our homeland, Alex. Italy. Where the fuck's the protein?

[Alex]

That's true.

[John]

Where's the protein?

[Alex]

All the carbs.

[John]

Yeah, I can't. I can't eat pasta.

[Alex]

They're not bodybuilders out. Not everybody is a bodybuilder out there. You know, it's more like, I'm lean. I'm a walking machine. They're just, like, getting their steps in so they don't need to be lifting.

[John]

Rome was cool though. It was a cool place.

[Alex]

Okay, but wait, so we go to do this gladiator experience and. And it was to promote the movie. So John was gonna dress up in like full gladiator here, training as a gladiator at midnight. So they like shut down to all the tourists. That's like the best time to go is, you know, when no one is there at midnight. So they shut it down and you have this experience. They have it set up with like these tents, like, you know, tents, lights.

[John]

Lights, the food that you would have.

[Alex]

At like a festival spread of like a festival feast, whatever. So they're handing John and all of these guys their gladiator outfits.

[John]

Just so you know, everyone. We didn't know what we were walking into.

[Alex]

No.

[John]

At all. I was like, oh, we're probably gonna just like wear something and like take some photos. That's as much as we knew.

[Alex]

Right. And so I had Con, like written out a script where I was gonna be like a spectator watching my husband be this gladiator because were script based comedy. So I was like, okay, cool. They. We get down there and they're like, and ladies, here are your outfits as well. It is just like straight bra top, thong. I'm like, I did not prepare my pubes for this. Like, unless you want an authentic gladiator experience right now for a viewing party, I have to decline. And they were like, are you sure? I'm like, positive.

[John]

I was like, do it. No, I was actually like, don't fucking ruin this for me.

[Alex]

I mean, it was. I wouldn't have been able to get the shots of you.

[John]

Thank God. Like, thank God you. Yeah, because we needed that.

[Alex]

Yeah. So.

[John]

So I go in there. I'm in the. As soon as I saw the gladiator helmet, the Spartan helmet, I go, I'm in the zone. I am locked in. I'm like, I am. This is. This is for me.

[Alex]

You were gladiator John.

[John]

I put the helmet on. Alex is getting cool shots of me. I thought it was like the coolest person on the planet. Got my shield, whatever. And they made me take it off because they said that wasn't mine. Got my little thong thing on. Now we're out in the fucking pit. We're in the pit. They have four trained gladiators. They only speak Italian. Dudes are jacked. They were circling around them. They start fighting. They are hitting each other in the face. This is. The weapons are like metal tridents, swords.

[Alex]

Thing is, I thought what I think everyone thought it was going to be a choreographed experience.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

No, they're going straight 1. Giving 100% effort into getting the shit out of each other.

[John]

Me and the other guys look at each other like, what the fuck? What do we walk into?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Then they're like the gladiator guys. Like, all right, pair up. Okay. So, like, me and this guy and we're kind of playing around. Like, no, swing hard. Okay.

[Alex]

They were literally like, you're being a pussy.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Try harder.

[John]

Yeah. And so then we did some moves and they're like, you. You were nominated. I got nominated to go in the pit in front of everyone and, like, do this. Choreographed. Well, we choreographed it.

[Alex]

Didn't everybody do that? I think everyone.

[John]

But we were the. You were. Chose to go first, right?

[Alex]

You're the chosen one.

[John]

I was. I was the chosen one. And we fought and it was cool. And I died. And.

[Alex]

Yeah, you did lose. I did lose, but that was a crazy experience. I mean, to actually also be in the Coliseum where so much history has happened. So I understand why.

[John]

I'm sure it looked like I insulted.

[Alex]

Yeah, offense.

[John]

Look at me.

[Alex]

But.

[John]

So sorry.

[Alex]

But, yeah, hindsight, Like, I'm like, man, was that an out of touch thing? But again, when you get permission from the government and the locals themselves are part of it, you kind of just assume that it's.

[John]

I also wasn't like, oh, you better take me. Like, you picked me to go. I didn't even. I didn't ask to go.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

Anyway, so Rome was sick and I got sick violently. So we like. Besides all the trips we went on, we also did during the holidays.

[Alex]

I was like, we're fast forwarding.

[John]

We're only on Christmas now.

[Alex]

Yeah, no, I mean, I'm like, well, we fast forwarded a few months. Kobe, he didn't have his bowel obstruction yet, but Ashley and Raina, another podcast you guys should tune into. Girls.

[John]

So funny.

[Alex]

They're the best. They used to be in New York. They're in LA now, but they invited us to join their holiday show, which where John attempted the worm.

[John]

I was very embarrassed, and then I ended up doing a push up because I couldn't do it, honestly. Probably one of the Bo. Rome. One of the coolest things I ever did going on, Girls, got to eat and embarrassing the fuck out of myself. Probably one of my lowest moments of my life.

[Alex]

It was just highs and lows all day.

[John]

I started doing finger guns to the crowd. I am straight panic mode.

[Alex]

I was like, I'm walking off of stage.

[John]

Push ups in the finger guns. Oh, so uncomfortable.

[Alex]

You were preparing to be a dad. You're like, oh, I was gonna be a dad.

[John]

And now I'm practicing again by giving finger guns.

[Alex]

That's like a dad move, isn't it? I don't, I don't like a loser move.

[John]

So anyways, that show happened. We did that. Cool experience.

[Alex]

And then the holidays. The holidays were tough.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Well, again, we had our fifth anniversary, which was around the time that Leah would been born. But I think that we, you know, we celebrated with each other, did the best that we could, but. Yeah, so we're skipping around here. But yeah, the holidays, I would say, were the hardest part. So we were also like, let's get out, let's travel. We left to Switzerland, which was beautiful, but that was probably the saddest that I ever was. And I don't think I'm like, generally a happy person. Like, I would still say I processed all our loss fairly well given the circumstances, but that was the first time where I was like, I need, I need antidepressants. Like, I am not okay.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I think you, after the holidays, you were traveling a bit and I was gonna be home alone and you had like reached out to my friends to come stay with me, which I didn't know that you did. I was just like, oh my God, kawinky dink. Like, you're in town.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, I was on code red. I was on the. I was doing the wellness checks.

[Alex]

Yeah, it was tough. I think anybody who's. Anybody who has experienced loss, whether it's a family member, an older adult, a grandparent, parent, sibling, whatever, the holidays are just really hard. That's the time that everybody gets together. It's supposed to be joyful. And I think when you think about life of like, what you should have.

[John]

Woulda, coulda had, well, everyone also has. Everyone has one year old babies at this point. I'm like, oh my God, fucking kill me.

[Alex]

So we like politely declined lots of events. And I think that's something that we'll discuss as well. Like, when you're dealing with grief, like, you're in survival mode, do what you have to do. Do not feel obligated to go anywhere or say yes to anything that you just like, do not feel comfortable going to. So we decided to travel and then we came back. I was like, I. I need to talk to my primary care. And that's when I found out that I was pregnant. I was like, got some blood work done. And yeah, they were like, you are expecting child And I was like, wow.

[John]

Powerful seed.

[Alex]

Okay, well, I also peed on a test that morning and, like, freaked my friend out who had stayed over. I was like, there's no way. It was the faintest line. She goes, I think we just need to go to sleep. So she left in the morning. And then I just waited for you to come home. Had a.

[John]

That was cute.

[Alex]

Anxiety attack.

[John]

But, yeah, I took the ferry home when I was in Boston.

[Alex]

I like, okay, so I peed on this stick. Not very light at all. It was like the faintest line ever. So I'm like, I am not prepared for this. I am not ready. Go to sleep. I didn't. My friend went to sleep and I'm awake for like the next four hours. And I'm like, am I? No, there's no way. But I've never seen a false positive. But that wasn't dark enough to be a false positive. So she leaves at like 5am to catch her train. I pee on a digital stick and it is pregnant. And I'm like, oh, here we go. I start spiraling. That's when I get a call from my primary care doctor who was like, your blood work came back. And I'm like, I know. I already peed on a stick. And so I was like, I don't know how I'm going to tell John. The last time I told him we, it was exciting. This time when I saw a positive pregnancy test, I was, I wasn't excited. I saw it and I was like, great, hopefully this one lives.

[John]

Jesus.

[Alex]

I mean, that's the truth. I, I.

[John]

And since then, that's what Alex has been saying. After every single positive statement made.

[Alex]

Whatever let me from our ob, she's.

[John]

Like, she's looking great now. It's like, hopefully she, she lives.

[Alex]

She keeps looking great. Fingers crossed. And so I'm not feeling the best about it. And so this isn't something, you know, as stereotypical influencers, that I would be like, let me film this moment. I was like, absolutely not. Like, this is just something that I want to keep private between John and I because I really don't know how this is going to end, like, and again, early on, it's just so up in the air. But I still, God forbid it was going to work out. Didn't want to not make it a special moment for us.

[John]

Well, so that, that weekend, I was with Jason, I was with my buddy Jason. I was in Boston and I was getting the ferry home from Connecticut to.

[Alex]

Yeah, you were at a football game, right?

[John]

Yeah. And it was snowing.

[Alex]

So it takes a hundred years when you're like, you're waiting to tell your partner that you're pregnant. And so I stopped at the store and I'm like, what can I get that, like, isn't just the positive test? And you call your dad Papa Bear. So I saw this mug that said Papa Bear on it. And I was like, this is perfect.

[John]

And cheese in right now.

[Alex]

And so I picked that up and I'm like, well, this is all I have. Whatever, it's fine. And so I'm. It took you 1 million years. By the time I got to the ferry, I was like, where are you 100 years? So I get out of the car, I have the mug. And when we had gone to Switzerland, I took one of those, like, four film develop cameras. Because I was like, I don't, you know, I don't need. I just want to. I just want to take one photo in each place. Like, I don't want to take a bajillion on my phone. So I was like, I'll take a picture of John a before and after. So I'm holding this mug. I have the test in my pocket. And John loves coffee. Like, he needs coffee every 10 minutes. So he's walking. I take a picture on the film camera before I told him, he's just like walking in the snow with his luggage. And. And then I go, oh, hi, how are you? Misty. Whatever. And I go, I brought you some coffee. And did you know when I handed.

[John]

It to you, for some reason I.

[Alex]

Immediately knew you, like, read the mug and you were like, papa Bear.

[John]

No, I was pumped. Right. For some reason I knew. I don't know. There's something in the air. The snowflakes dropping. Let me set the scene. I'm on the ferry. It's foggy. That. You know what? That's actually why it took so long. The ferry stopped in the middle of the fucking inlet because they couldn't see where they were going anyways. Lights, snowflakes, crisp breeze. And I get off the boat.

[Alex]

I'm pretty sure you say you're not creative.

[John]

Pretty sure I'm the. I'm pretty sure I'm the last one. And I'm walking. See my car, see my lady come around the corner. She's got this mug which, by the way, was empty. There wasn't anything in it.

[Alex]

I know. I didn't.

[John]

That's how I knew. I was like, oh, something's up. Not okay now. Now that I. Yeah, that's why I.

[Alex]

Was like, Mr. Detective John, why is this mug?

[John]

There's no coffee in it. It was very cute. And, you know, we had a moment. Yeah, we had a nice moment.

[Alex]

It was a nice, special, private moment. And then I took another picture with her film camera. Yay. That's it. And then I was scared for the rest of the time.

[John]

That's actually. And with the photo she took, she told how we told my parents.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. Well, because I brought that camera to Switzerland where they traveled with us, I was like, oh, how cute will it be to, like, add this to, like, like, all the photos. They go through the photos and they thought that it was an old set of photos like that. The pregnancy photos from Leo. They're sifting through the photos, past it.

[John]

They're like, oh.

[Alex]

And I'm like, oh, my God, we.

[John]

Didn'T plan that out well enough.

[Alex]

But they're like, I'm gonna go, what was that? Go back to that. And they're like, oh, nothing. Because they just didn't want to, like, re trigger us. But I was like, no, those are new. These are all new photos.

[John]

I feel like everyone. We told the second go around everyone cautiously optimistic. Not like. Not like the first time, which I understand, but not every. Everyone's like, oh, my God, we're so happy.

[Alex]

I don't think we told them with the excitement that it was the first time either. It's different, right? It's just different. But yeah. So speaking of pregnancy announcements, we figured we would answer some Give it to me straight questions about pregnancy announcements that people had.

[John]

And if you're new here, I never know what Alex is reading.

[Alex]

Yes. And if you have any questions, they are all anonymous. You could write in at hello, Give it tome straight podcast dot com. I know you remember. But then we also have a link on our website, which you can find in our show notes. But yeah, since we didn't want to give anything away, which most people, a lot of people were like, this bitch is pregnant. Some people probably didn't know. But anyway, so we didn't want to give any hints, so I didn't put a question link up. So some of these questions are from Reddit, just so you know. But yeah, let's dive in. Are you ready, John? I feel like you got to put on listening.

[John]

I'm having deja vu ready. Okay.

[Alex]

I'm about to be six weeks pregnant. I haven't told my family yet, only my husband, best friend, and a pregnant acquaintance that I know I want to tell my family, but they are terrible at keeping secrets. And act like they can't help it. I. I would really like to be the only one who tells my whole extended family at the end of the first trimester. But if I tell my immediate family before that, then they might just do it for me. Not sure what to do. It's the first grandchild on both sides. I don't love keeping it a secret and I really want their support right now, but I feel like I can't trust them with that info.

[John]

Wow. Here's a thought. Tell your extended family first.

[Alex]

She doesn't want to. She wants to tell them when.

[John]

If she doesn't want to tell her parents because her parents are going to ruin it.

[Alex]

So just. You're saying wait to tell everyone?

[John]

No, same day. Just go tell the extended extended family first. If you're worried that your parents are going to say something like immediately and then go straight to your parents house and tell them and no one's going to actually know who knows who knew first. Like do a quick. Do like a quick. You know what I'm saying? Like do it in the same day.

[Alex]

So you're telling her to wait until she's further along though, because she's saying she wants to wait until after the first trimester to tell her extended family, but she would like the support from her immediately. Here we go with the recaps. If you're new here too, I always have to recap the question for John because he gets a little bit lost.

[John]

Just tell your parents whatever. I mean, again, I think your parents would be pissed if you don't tell them first. What do you, what do you think?

[Alex]

I like to get your opinion first after I explain the question three times.

[John]

Well, because to me it's not really that big of a deal, but to her it's a big deal.

[Alex]

Going through it the second time, I'm very much like, don't just wait until the fucking first scan. But at the same time, it's like I get wanting the support of your family. Like for us, we leaned heavily on each other because we had already gone through loss. But our first pregnancy, I think we told everyone. Week five, week six, immediate family. No one like outside of that. I was telling strangers, like the mailman, he knew my nail girl, she knew.

[John]

But this is our first kid.

[Alex]

Yeah. So she's excited. I think I would tell your immediate family. And then again, it's just you after that, you keep the cards close and if they breach that line of trust, that's a conversation to be had with them.

[John]

After that, what do we always say, just cut them out. Cut everyone off.

[Alex]

You know what I'm saying? Fuck them all. Next question. Are pregnancy announcements and photos on Instagram and Facebook cringe? Now, I haven't announced on social media yet, and I find the thought of posing with the ultrasound picture or something like that kind of forced and awkward. Is that just me? What have other people done to announce?

[John]

Don't let other people steal your thunder. If, like, this is your first time and the same thing, like your first time being pregnant, you're excited. If you are excited. I mean, if you're thinking it's cringe, then don't do it. No one's got a gun to your head. But, I mean, I. I was excited. I wanted to share.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I think the fear of looking cringe holds people back from living their true lives, like, from being their true selves. Who. Who the fuck cares? Someone will always think that you're cringe. Everything that we do, someone says we're cringe. Hence why we made the short film cringe.

[John]

It's on YouTube under Alex John, if.

[Alex]

You want to see it. We are also pitching it as a pilot to be brought up as a series, if anyone is interested. But yeah, I just think that, like, you have to do what feels best for you. Unapologetically, I don't think it's cringe.

[John]

I. I get that. That's easier said than done, though, for people, because you and I do cringy all the time. So, like, I don't care anymore. But, like, something like that, for someone who's private, might. Might be a stress. Like a stress factor. But are you gonna regret it? Right? If you don't, would you regret it?

[Alex]

Yeah. And again, you don't necessarily have to take pictures with the ultrasound. You could do something else. A cake, a onesie, booties, a hat. Like, I've seen people do really cute ones where they have a mom and a dad hat.

[John]

I thought she's talking about her wedding. What? What was her announcement. I thought it was. She was talking about. What? No, read the first sentence.

[Alex]

I. Our pregnancy announcements and our pregnancy announcement photos on Instagram and Facebook cringe now. Are you well.

[John]

And. I don't know. And weddings. I thought she said weddings.

[Alex]

Supposed to have pregnancy brain.

[John]

And you just stopped all my symptoms getting debilitated. And I'm just gonna put me in a home soon. I don't like looking back. I mean, look at my hair now.

[Alex]

I know.

[John]

Look how great is.

[Alex]

I'm so gray too. This is the great John. This is the greatest I've ever been. I've had to color four strands. I wish. 400 strands. It's insane.

[John]

So dramatic.

[Alex]

What stress will do to you. And I can't get Botox. Look at these wrinkles. Moving on. So, yeah. I just think that there's other things that you could do. What?

[John]

Yeah. No, I don't see them.

[Alex]

Okay.

[John]

I'm giving you a compliment. You look nice.

[Alex]

Thanks, John.

[John]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

All right. This is a good one. You're gonna like this one. Am I the asshole for announcing our pregnancy at my brother's wedding? After he proposed at mine, my brother said he was going to propose at my wedding. I. I told him no. That it was a day about myself and my wife and we did not want any distractions. My mom lost her shit. She said that he wanted family he might not see again for a while, to be a part of the proposal. I said I did not give a shit and that if he did it, I would have him kicked out. He did it. And my mom said if I tried kicking him out, she would leave, too. I just remember seething on the inside. My brother got married last weekend. Instead of a welcome to the family toast, I. I used that time to announce that we were expecting our first baby. My mom was so upset with me, but my grandmother told her to sit down and shut up.

[John]

Oh, fuck. Yeah.

[Alex]

We spent most of the reception talking to the family we would not have seen for a while about our upcoming baby or about our coming baby. My mom says I was an asshole for taking attention away from my brother on his wedding day. She got really mad when I reminded her that she threatened to leave my wedding if I kicked him out after he proposed.

[John]

What did her mom say to that? What was. What was the mom's rebuttal?

[Alex]

What about, like.

[John]

Well, if you recall, you said you were going to leave my wedding. I wonder what the mom said to that.

[Alex]

I don't know. There wasn't an update. It was just people being like, grandma's.

[John]

A g. Tit for tat baby. Yeah, everyone, that's like, take the higher road. Shut up.

[Alex]

No, especially in a situation like that where your brother was like, hey, I'm thinking of proposing at your wedding. And you specifically told him no. You have every other opportunity to propose before the wedding, and then you could talk about your engagement.

[John]

Do you find it strange this might be a hot topic? Do you find it strange people. Like how he said, I want other people to be part of my proposal? I find that, sure. I'll. I'll I'll. I'll die on this hill. I find that your proposal should be intimate between you and your partner.

[Alex]

I think to each their own. But I don't think that you hijack someone else's day to make it about yourself at all. Like, I think some people might want other people around. Like they might want their friends, family, everyone around.

[John]

But you don't do it for someone else's day.

[Alex]

Yeah, off of the dollar of someone else, you know how expensive it is if you want to bring everyone into town to celebrate your own fucking proposal, you can pay for a venue.

[John]

I agree.

[Alex]

You could pay for them to all come into town and give them open bar meals and music. Absolutely not. And again, you asked, he said no. He fucking did it anyway. So I think this is the perfect petty response.

[John]

Don't you find him doing that is like, that was the word I'm looking for. Not like a vanity thing. Like, I don't know. That's why I would like. When I think of proposals of it being intimate between you and your partner, the person you're gonna spend your life with. I don't need anyone else.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

You're are officially gonna be my one and only, my family member, my immediate family. I don't care about anyone else. And to make that about something more than that, I find strange.

[Alex]

I don't know, I can't speak on behalf of everyone because some people might want their speak for them.

[John]

Like, if you were gonna counter me in this, right.

[Alex]

I'm thinking of like, if you know, the girl getting engaged or you know, the guy getting engaged, wanted his family there, you would plan like a trip or have a dinner scheduled after or like all get together at the beach. Like, like where the part the proposal was, you know, like everyone comes out afterwards or they're there and it's a surprise moment at a dinner. But like, you just don't do you don't hijack someone else's moment.

[John]

I'm. I'm moving. I agree with that. I'm moving on from that. I just separate. A complete separate.

[Alex]

Yeah, I'm just saying there's people who want to get proposed to a Disneyland. You know what I mean? So like everybody has fucking different preferences.

[John]

What's your thoughts on gender reveals? Oh, over the top, I saw one gender reveal. The guy had four jets to shoot by him, spraying like blue smoke. Badass.

[Alex]

But again, to each their own. Would I do that? No. You and I opened up the fucking email and we said, it's a girl. Similarly with Leo, I Had, like, one eye open. Yeah. I couldn't even see it. You're like, girl. And I'm like, where? Where does it say that? But for us, we didn't care. Even with Leo, it was the same thing. We just, like, opened up paperwork. But I wanted a cake anyway, so we still kind of true.

[John]

I guess each his own. Because we didn't care. Boy or girl?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

For either.

[Alex]

I don't know. I just think, like, I'm not gonna yuck someone's yum. But that's not a gender reveal. I think is just an excuse to have a party. But I love to have a party. But not.

[John]

I guess I would say the same thing about the gender reveal as you said about the proposal. Do the gender reveal, the two of you, your child? I mean, again, anyone do anything. But I. I like more like the two. And then have a party if you want.

[Alex]

Yeah. Again, to each.

[John]

I'm just sparking debate, you know, I just want to get a little. I'm getting. Trying to get back into the groove.

[Alex]

You just try to fight me.

[John]

Next question.

[Alex]

Next question. I'm 11 weeks pregnant, and I just got a new ultrasound picture yesterday. I've told my family and close friends, but I haven't brought it to social media yet because my partner and I are not ready. We feel. Feel like it's too early. I told my mother that she could tell her close friends because she's so excited to be a grandma for the first time today. I opened Facebook to see her announcing it on her page four hours ago, and she already has over 50 comments on it. She did not ask me if it was okay to post, and I'm so upset. I feel like my moment to post my exciting news was stolen from me. And she doesn't see the problem because I told her she could tell her close friends. Friends. 400 Facebook friends are not all close friends. Do I have the right to be upset with her?

[John]

Yeah, but at this point in time, in the age of digital and easy access to people, if you're not prepared for it to be exposed. I don't know, like, the disclaimer of, like, you could. I think you should have been more specific. I mean, you can tell your close friends.

[Alex]

I think the people who we've told, we've told with such ferocity that they know that we would cut them if they, like. I think I spooked my mom into saying anything to anyone that she was.

[John]

Like, well, you made it very clear. I guess for her, I'm like, you know, your mother More than anyone else. Like, you know the type of person she is. Do you feel like how you said you could tell your close friends for the type of personality she is that she has, that that was enough.

[Alex]

So you're saying that you, if you're telling someone who's most likely probably a boomer, you need to say you could tell your close friends, do not post on social media.

[John]

Not even, not even boomer. But like, you know, you know your mom.

[Alex]

I don't. I still think she has a right to be upset with her mom.

[John]

I'm not saying she doesn't, but you might have been better off doing a little more due diligence. You know, your mother. Is your mother a person who is a blabber mouth? I don't know why that's the term I found. But like, if that's the type of person she is, then you, you know that she's not gonna be able to keep a secret.

[Alex]

Yeah, no, of course. Like, there's ways that you could look back and be like, yeah, did I need to communicate that? But close friends, I feel like that's pretty clear that that doesn't mean Instagram or Facebook.

[John]

I agree. Yeah, I agree.

[Alex]

So, yeah, I don't know. I think that you have a right to be upset with her.

[John]

Yeah. But I'm also just saying you probably, maybe you know, your mom, you know that she's a blabber mouth so she would say something.

[Alex]

I don't know. I just like wouldn't assume that you're that dumb to just take that upon yourself.

[John]

Mother dumb? How dare you.

[Alex]

Shallow, dense. I don't know. But I just think that from experiences like this now you know. So it's either you can have this conversation with her, set that boundary because like you're gonna get other updates in your pregnancy and hopefully all great, congratulations. But it's like how much do you share with your mom knowing that she probably, it probably won't just stick with her. Or if you tell her close friends, all of her Facebook friends will know.

[John]

400 she's a G. I know.

[Alex]

Who is that many friends? Next question. I am not happy that my best friend is pregnant. She's always wanted to be a mother, but has never been in a long term relationship. And now she's having a baby with a guy she just met for a months ago. I want to be excited for her, but I don't trust this guy enough to know that he will stick around and be with her by her side when the baby comes. I'm so Upset that she's just going to go through this. She's always been this way. Kind of go with the flow, see where life takes me. So in some ways it makes sense for her. But this kind of life decision isn't, isn't like, let's do it and just see what happens. I wish she had thought this through more. I know this is what she always wanted. But it feels like she is taking the first opportunity she could get. Get. How do I support her when I think that she's making a big mistake?

[John]

Sounds like me. Sounds like you just want to say something, but you know you just can't. It's not your life.

[Alex]

I just. You. It's a canon event, you know, you just gotta watch it happen. Because if you say something, are you jeopardizing your friendship? And I feel like I'm hypocritical in this way. Some situations I'm like ripper to shreds. Take her down. But like this isn't impacting you. It. Are you her caregiver? Are you going to be helping raise a child? No.

[John]

And if it goes to you have a great opportunity to say I told you so.

[Alex]

So you're saying, say something. Cuz why else would she say I told you so, I told you so?

[John]

Well, you could, you could like give a couple like subtle nudges about it. Be like, are you sure? You know, you've only been dating. Just make sure this is.

[Alex]

Well, yeah, I mean you could approach her like an adult and be like, are you sure? But again, people have to learn lessons on their own, you know, Is it.

[John]

Going to make you feel better saying something? Just fudgeing. Say it. You know, some people need a fucking somebody on their shoulder. Like, hey, you're making stupid choices.

[Alex]

I give it once. You know what? Depending on who it is. I've said things to friends several times.

[John]

Friends, family. I said stuff to everyone. I'm getting worse. I. I am getting so much worse as I'm older.

[Alex]

That's why I'm trying to like.

[John]

But it makes you feel good though? It makes you feel good?

[Alex]

No, but it doesn't when they don't listen. And then like the same, the same cycle happens and then. Yeah, you're right. Does that make you feel better?

[John]

This is up. Yes, I feel better cuz I'm like, I know I'm.

[Alex]

But then at what point are you.

[John]

I'm such a good judge of character and I'm like, listen, if you're close to me or you're in front of like this is a terrible idea. And then they. It goes the way. Exactly. I thought I was gonna go, I'd be like, I'm. I don't say, like, I told you so. Even though I would, I would want to. But inside I go, I'm. I'm psychic.

[Alex]

Are you psychic or do you just have. What are you just like more self aware? You know? But when you're outside of it, it's so easy to see, like hindsight's 2020 when you're in something like that. You have rose colored glasses and you're like, but, but your friend, if it doesn't bother her, it shouldn't bother you. You know what I just learned recently too, is that when we like started our business, I had friends who were like, oh, no, I think that's too risky. But no one said anything because your.

[John]

Friends who, who did what, did they have their own business? What fucking expertise were they gonna. What knowledge were they gonna give to it?

[Alex]

But that's my point.

[John]

It's like, majority of them are divorced, so gives a shit.

[Alex]

Who's divorced? I don't know, just making up lies. Who's divorced? Your friends are divorced. I don't have.

[John]

When I got married, I think like over 75% of my friends got divorced and were remarried.

[Alex]

You said that to me when we started dating.

[John]

This was. My dad told me.

[Alex]

Yeah, you were like, all my friends are married now. But you watch, they're all going to start to get divorced because you were like, they got married years ago. And then they did one by one, whatever.

[John]

One person gets married, the fucking pressure train comes on and everyone's like, I got to get married now too. I don't know why. People love to like just fall and fall in line with.

[Alex]

I think that's a. I don't know what it is like now. And again, not a generalization of everybody who gets married young, but it's very much a southern thing. Like in the south, you're like, oh, out of college, let's get married.

[John]

I'm just talking from experience. Like all my friends, like, it was almost like a panic mode they went into. Like, I gotta find someone now. I'm like, why?

[Alex]

But okay, so going back to giving someone your unsolicited opinion, do you feel like it strengthens your relationship? Like, are you like, of course it doesn't, right?

[John]

I just think I'm in a weird mood right now where I'm just like, burn the, burn the ship.

[Alex]

It's just been highs and lows, but.

[John]

That'S the Other thing, like, do I want to be friends with someone who makes stupid choices? It bothers me if you're dumb. I have a hard time wanting to hang out with you anyways.

[Alex]

And that's true too. Like, I hate people who are not self aware. But sometimes you. You just have to learn the lesson on your own. You just have to walk.

[John]

Are they normally like a solid friend, solid person, and then like, something happens? Sure.

[Alex]

But like she said, this is her best friend.

[John]

Okay, well, who. How do you know that she doesn't have her own issues? You know what I'm saying? I'm just talking about someone in general that's like, you both are like solid people. Then that one solid person has a hiccup. Like, that's a different story. But someone like that. Four months seems quick. I don't know.

[Alex]

I just think you gotta let her live, you know? If it doesn't bother her, it shouldn't bother you. Does it impact your life again if you were financially responsible for this baby that was coming into her life? Yeah. Like you have. You can obviously give your opinion.

[John]

I want all the tea. You know, I want all the tea.

[Alex]

You just want to stir the pot.

[John]

You're like, stir the pot.

[Alex]

Say something.

[John]

Yeah. People say, does it make you feel better? I feel great.

[Alex]

I don't think you do.

[John]

I do. I feel great.

[Alex]

It's like on, I'm like, oh, I'm.

[John]

So glad I got that off my chest.

[Alex]

Because on average, like you're stewing throughout the day just like, just hypotheticals in my head today. And I'm like, please don't be me. Please don't stop.

[John]

I never fight you.

[Alex]

Your sister.

[John]

I hate how much I love you.

[Alex]

It's your sister visiting weekend. This weekend. We're on a walk and she goes, goes, you're. I just. You are the only person that John likes. And I'm like, I know, I'll fight her. No, she was giving me a compliment.

[John]

Yeah. She's also talking shit. I'll drop her.

[Alex]

Well, about you. Yeah. But she was like, my brother doesn't like anybody. Like, you are truly the only person that he loves and likes and will hang out with. You are his best friend in the whole.

[John]

I see Jen like three times a year and she's like, I fucking know him. Like, I haven't changed at all since we lived together.

[Alex]

Who's your best friend?

[John]

Who's my best friend?

[Alex]

Kobe.

[John]

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. I don't know why I said wow. Wow. He's alive. If everyone's wondering oh, my God.

[Alex]

We didn't even give that update on Kobe. Let's move on from questions.

[John]

Yeah, go give. Give the update on Kobe.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

So also, first off, I love my sister. I. I'll still fight her, though, out of love.

[Alex]

I love her, too, so much. I'm so lucky to have good in laws.

[John]

All right, that's enough. So Kobe. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you talk about Kobe and all the.

[Alex]

Oh, well, it's actually a fight, so. Okay, John, like, you act like this is my fault. Like, I shoved tampons down his throat. So one day, Kobe starts vomiting all over our house, and I'm like, well, this isn't fucking normal. Because normally if he's gonna, like, get a stomach bug, he'll throw up one place. We clean it up, whatever.

[John]

That's what he does.

[Alex]

That was a good.

[John]

Good what? Reenactment.

[Alex]

Reenactment. I couldn't think of the word. Anyways, so anyway, Kobe throws up in, like, six different areas in like, an hour span. And I'm like, it's not normal. And so he's chugging water, throwing that up. He starts shaking. And so our friends are coming into town, and I'm like, okay, John, you pick them up from the airport. I'm going to stay home with Kobe, like, try to get him hydrated. Call the vet. Well, I call my friend first, who is a vet, and every time I go to call her and ask her a question, I'm like, you know, if I'm calling Dana, I should probably just bring Kobe to the vet. And so I call her, I tell her Kobe's symptoms. She's like, absolutely. You need to bring him to the vet. And so John gets back, Kobe is shaking, and he goes, of course.

[John]

Just like every time something happens with Kobe, it's just conveniently a time when Alex is doing something else because our friends were over. So you're like, I'll stay with them. I chose to take Kobe, but, like, I had to take him to the vet. You got to hang out.

[Alex]

I wasn't hanging out. I was like, these are my friends that I'm hosting. So I was cooking for them, making sure that they.

[John]

Oh, they're your friends now?

[Alex]

Well, they. They started as my friends, and now they're your friends, too.

[John]

What are you talking about? You didn't meet him before I did.

[Alex]

Yeah, but you only know him because of Abby. Like, she's my best friend and then started dating. So that's what you got.

[John]

Basically, we're all just friends from Tinder.

[Alex]

Yes.

[John]

Okay.

[Alex]

Abby and I were roommates. We both swiped on our husbands at the same night. We were living together. And we were both like, oh, my God, we're going on dates with Italian John's. There they were. She was on one of the first episodes of our podcast. If you go way back.

[John]

First one or second one.

[Alex]

Gosh.

[John]

All right.

[Alex]

Anyways, continue.

[John]

Anyways, bring Kobe to the vet. He has a bowel obstruction and they're like, we have to open him up, like, immediately. And yeah, our sweet, sweet baby boy had to get tampons. Was like three tampons and a squeaky toy. The squeaker out of. Out of him. Close them up. Anyways, long story short, no.

[Alex]

But also going back the. That was like, yeah, there's these tampons in there. And I'm like, I'm. Nobody knows I'm pregnant, but I'm like eight weeks pregnant. These are not my fucking tampons. Like, where the fuck did he get these? Realized that he ate them at my parents house. Someone had left tampons. My mom had already gone through.

[John]

Someone.

[Alex]

Someone. Someone left them. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? But it's fine. Whatever. Kobe's a dog. He's eaten them in the past. He's passed them before. He's passed everything before. He see my socks, he see balloons, whatever.

[John]

Anyway, so he's better. He's getting better.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

And then second week, post op, starts vomiting again. I'm like, holy shit. Maybe they didn't get everything out. Go back in. They said they don't really see anything. I must have went to the emergency.

[Alex]

Vet like six different times because he wasn't progressing. He was. He kept throwing up or he would like, have a little bit to eat and then throw up again. And. And then you brought him. They didn't see anything. You brought him back again because he was like convulsing and they were like, well, it looks like there's a hair, like a bunch of hair.

[John]

They're like, give it one more day, see if he passes it. And I took him on a walk with my dad and he shit out a squeaker toy.

[Alex]

Another squeaker toy. But we had thrown out everything. So my friend who's a vet said that sometimes they could eat like multiple things and it will get. It will dislodge from their stomach and eventually get lodged somewhere else or whatever. Like, they don't always get everything out. So. So she was like, he probably ate it the first time. And that's very common that that happens. But not Just that he heals from that. Whatever. He's great. He's fine. He's alive. And mind you, he's going to be 11 this year. He's too old to be doing this. He tore his acl, so. Partial tear.

[John]

I don't know. They said they think it's a partial tear. He's jumping up on the couch, jumps up on the couch between us and his leg goes between the cushions and he like, hyperextends his leg. I'm like, you kidding?

[Alex]

But that was months ago. At this point, we're still giving him his joint shots to try like once.

[John]

A week into once a month. He's killing me.

[Alex]

I know. He's been our most expensive investment this year.

[John]

I wish you got dog insurance for him when you were younger.

[Alex]

I know, but he was. He was a discount dog. He was $90.

[John]

Was he? And then he tore his.

[Alex]

Whatever tibial crest of ulsion. He broke his kneecap. He's been. He's very expensive.

[John]

You know, though. Now let's going off of this. Let's go into Rex, because I know I have a different recommendation.

[Alex]

Oh, you have a different recommendation?

[John]

Share what we're doing.

[Alex]

We're gonna end our episodes with weekly recommendations of things that, you know, whether it's a piece of advice, a book, a movie, a recipe. Because John started his cooking journey too. So that was one thing we did after losing Leo was starting a cooking journey, which I love because I get to try all of your fun recipes. But you've gotten so brave in the kitchen.

[John]

I know. I mean, I only knew how to cook from you. You show me what to do. So. Yeah, every Wednesday, John's cooking Journey. I'm cooking something new. Majority of time I fuck it up, but sometimes it comes out okay.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's my new thing, my recommendation.

[John]

Yeah, I'm trying to look up the name of this.

[Alex]

My recommendation is a book and it's called the Housemaid. I think it's by Frida McFadden. It is such a good, quick read thriller. And I'm pretty sure they're turning it into a movie. Sydney Sweeney's in it. Amanda Seyfried. Like, I'm. It's gonna be good. I fucking love it.

[John]

I honestly can't talk.

[Alex]

I don't read. I know.

[John]

So unless it's like news about war or something, I don't read at all. I should read. I know I'm slowly slipping away.

[Alex]

Start to popcorn. Read again.

[John]

It's Goodbye, my lover. Goodbye.

[Alex]

You know what you should do? Because I Haven't done jellyfish pills. Single baby book. Like, what are we gonna do?

[John]

I just. I think we wing it. Wing it.

[Alex]

You should probably take a class, right?

[John]

Like cpr, baby, do you. Baby's choking. Boom. On its side. On your arm, on the back. Or we should get that life vac and just sucks everything out of their mouth.

[Alex]

We should get anything. We haven't purchased a single thing.

[John]

And I know that's how bad we are. We're just like, third trimester.

[Alex]

I'm like, I don't know.

[John]

We gotta get our. Together. We have nothing.

[Alex]

I'm still not ready to buy.

[John]

She's gonna go to the bathroom. I'll lay a blanket down on the ground.

[Alex]

That's what I'm thinking.

[John]

I'm like, cleaner.

[Alex]

They don't need much. And I think because ptsd. Last time we had to clean out an entire nursery of.

[John]

Yeah. It's the last thing I want to do. So that was so terrible.

[Alex]

So I'm like, I don't want to do that again. I'll just wait until she's here to buy anything.

[John]

Let's keep. Let's. Let's keep going on a high note. High note. My wreck is going off of Kobe. Rough and tough toys. Dog toys.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I think they're on Amazon.

[Alex]

Our cousin Chris told us about him because his dog tears up.

[John]

Side note, Kobe barely has toys all the time.

[Alex]

No, he has teeth.

[John]

He just doesn't have his barely. And they're not like, he's got bad teeth. I'm like, how is he attacking raccoons? How what, dear? Whatever is out there.

[Alex]

And he's about him. He only. He only is missing two teeth.

[John]

I should show that toy. But anyways, I can't reach for it. I'm too lazy. So rough and tough toys. He hasn't ripped through it at all. You got it. If you got a dog that's, like, ripping everything up, you give him. Give him that.

[Alex]

Okay. But I don't know. Luke did rip through it. Our parent. My parents. German shepherd. He did.

[John]

No shit.

[Alex]

Yeah, man.

[John]

We almost got a rough and tough sponsor until Alex just said that.

[Alex]

I know. Well, it's worked on Kobe so far.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It just depends.

[John]

Like, German shepherd, if you have a geriatric dog. Kind of rough and tough.

[Alex]

Kobe does go through everything. But, like a German shepherd, like, they'll go through your fucking skull.

[John]

So give them a cement block to play with.

[Alex]

Yeah. I don't know that Luke wouldn't go through anything. So those are our racks, and this is our show. So we hope you enjoyed.

[John]

We don't do it anymore. But it's so funny because I never know what we're. I didn't know how this new, like, template of our show is going to be. I have, like, 30x.

[Alex]

Oh, my gosh. Well, we also are planning to have some special guests on this season, you guys. So if you have any recommendations of people who you want to listen to on our show, let us know. Let us know. Let us know.

[John]

They're going to be like Sydney Sweeney. Like, yeah, we can't get her.

[Alex]

Maybe if you buy her soap.

[John]

That, like, sold out. Anyways.

[Alex]

Anyways, I think that's it. How do we do the ending?

[John]

I don't know. Well, plug us. Plug us.

[Alex]

If you want to follow us, you can follow us at Give it to me straight podcast. On Instagram, on YouTube. What else? You could email us at hello, give it tome straight podcast.com and is there anything else?

[John]

Our pages. Our own pages. You don't have to do ours.

[Alex]

No, you'll just, like, look in the show.

[John]

You'll find it. You'll find it. And we're making our comeback, guys. Let's. Let's get this season going, you know.

[Alex]

Show on the road.

[John]

And until next week. Ciao, ciao.

[Alex]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.