61. Giving you snooping, concerned husbands, and casual divorces

Summary

Give It To Me Straight – Episode 61: Snooping Husbands and Casual Divorces

Release Date: July 22, 2025

In Episode 61 of "Give It To Me Straight", hosts Alex and John delve into the complexities of modern relationships, balancing marital expectations, and navigating the challenges that come with impending parenthood. Through candid conversations and sharing personal anecdotes, the duo offers unfiltered advice on maintaining healthy partnerships while addressing common issues faced by couples today.

---

1. The Concept of Baby Moons

The episode kicks off with Alex and John discussing the idea of a "baby moon"—a getaway for expectant parents before the arrival of their child.

• Alex: "Like our last trip, it's just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two." [01:41]

They explore the purpose of a baby moon, emphasizing it as a special time for couples to reconnect and prepare for the new chapter ahead. However, John expresses skepticism about spending money on such trips, likening them to other commercialized holidays.

• John: "Valentine's Day is such a joke. It's like, you need this day to celebrate your love." [02:10]

Despite differing viewpoints, both acknowledge the importance of taking time together, especially before becoming parents.

---

2. Sharing Their Sandals Resort Experience

Alex and John recount their recent trip to the Sandals Resort in St. Vincent, highlighting both the highs and lows of their honeymoon.

• Alex: "It was beautiful. It was brand new. It was an easy four and a half-hour flight from New York. So highly recommend." [04:34]

They praise the resort's amenities and the quality of service but also discuss the inevitable challenges of traveling with luggage and dealing with airport logistics upon return.

• John: "People are so rude on the plane... When the flight has landed and it took an hour and a half to get our bags." [09:01]

Their storytelling offers listeners a balanced perspective on what to expect when booking a similar getaway.

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3. Navigating Travel Frustrations

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the frustrations of air travel, particularly the chaos experienced upon returning from their honeymoon.

• John: "The airport's so small. I was, like, just waiting." [74:49]

Alex and John share humorous yet relatable anecdotes about missed connections, luggage mishaps, and the general disorganization of major airports like JFK. They provide practical tips, such as using the Mobile Passport Control (MPC) app and subscribing to Global Entry for expedited processing.

• John: "I recommend the MPC app... It's saved us a few times going in line." [73:56]

These insights serve as valuable advice for listeners looking to streamline their travel experiences.

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4. Listener Questions: Trust Issues and Marital Struggles

The heart of the episode lies in addressing listener-submitted questions about trust, infidelity, and the casual approach to divorce.

a. Snooping on a Spouse’s Phone

One listener shares her dilemma after finding suspicious screenshots of her husband's secretary on his phone. Concerned about potential infidelity, she seeks advice on confronting her husband without escalating the situation.

• Alex: "I would 100% bring it up to you." [52:58]

John supports open communication but also humorously laments his tendency to overreact, offering a blend of empathy and light-heartedness to the serious topic.

b. Contemplating Divorce Over Lack of Support During Pregnancy

Another listener describes her husband’s continuous negative comments about her dietary choices during pregnancy, despite medical clearance. Feeling unsupported and hurt, she wonders if divorcing him is the right move.

• John: "Divorce him. Get rid of him." [42:25]
• Alex: "Now, that's what you need to communicate, communicate to him..." [44:28]

Alex emphasizes the importance of establishing boundaries and communicating needs, while John underscores the necessity of having a supportive partner, especially during such a critical life phase.

c. Balancing Family Obligations with New Parenthood

A listener questions whether it's unreasonable to feel upset that her sister booked a European vacation during the month her baby is due, fearing it will interfere with family support during this pivotal time.

• Alex: "You have to communicate with her and let her know, I really need your support..." [62:28]
• John: "But you're just focusing on you, your baby, and your husband. That's right." [63:23]

The hosts discuss the nuances of familial expectations and the importance of prioritizing one's immediate family while maintaining healthy relationships with extended family members.

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5. Discussing Divorce: A Comfortable Taboo

Towards the end of the episode, Alex and John engage in a candid discussion about the casual way divorce is portrayed and considered today.

• Alex: "I hate the narrative that like you shouldn't get divorced." [68:26]
• John: "That is horrible... Now I'm ready." [70:30]

They argue that while marriage is a significant commitment, individuals should feel empowered to leave unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships without societal judgment. The conversation underscores the evolving perceptions of marriage and divorce, advocating for personal happiness and well-being over traditional expectations.

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6. Sharing Personal Secrets and Final Thoughts

In an emotional climax, Alex confesses a long-held secret about infidelity before marriage, seeking relief from lingering guilt. John responds with understanding yet firm advice on re-evaluating the relationship dynamic.

• Alex: "It's been eight years and it still eats at me. I'm hoping telling you guys will help it get off my chest." [71:05]
• John: "If you're Good... Divorce him. Get rid of him." [73:25]

This segment highlights the show's commitment to addressing real-life issues with honesty and practical advice, reinforcing their promise to "give it straight."

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Conclusion

Episode 61 of "Give It To Me Straight" offers a wealth of insights into relationship dynamics, the pressures of impending parenthood, and the importance of open communication. Through personal stories and thoughtful discussions, Alex and John provide listeners with relatable content and actionable advice to navigate the often tumultuous waters of marriage and family life.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex on Baby Moons: "It's just about celebrating our partnership as just the two of us." [02:37]
• John on Travel Frustrations: "There's no Community. That's terrible effort there." [10:18]
• Alex on Divorce: "Divorce is a challenge in itself. It's not an easy path to go down." [68:26]
• John on Supportive Partnership: "The one thing he should be doing is supporting you." [41:49]

For more episodes and to join the conversation, follow "Give It To Me Straight" on all major podcast platforms and connect with them on their social media channels.

Transcript

[John]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm basically fisting this guy's ass, punching him up into the chair. So he's holding onto the chair and then he's got his cane, but it's like a foldable cane again. I'm holding him one hand, trying to, like, whip this cane together. And then he started going down a little. He goes, don't let me go. And welcome back to.

[Alex]

Give it to me. Shout out.

[John]

Great.

[Alex]

I'm Alex.

[John]

And I'm John. And we're your gracious, gracious, gracious host.

[Alex]

I should have had a snack. I'm kind of hungry.

[John]

That seems so forced.

[Alex]

What do you mean?

[John]

Just, like, you know how when we're.

[Alex]

Having fun, you know how you immediately get a. A feeling of hunger in your stomach? That's just what happened to me. Immediately.

[John]

I just.

[Alex]

When we did that.

[John]

I just made you breakfast.

[Alex]

I know, but I can only have baby bites because my. My stomach is so compressed, and then. So I only eat a little, and then I'm hungry a lot.

[John]

You know, you're a hungry, hungry hippo.

[Alex]

You don't have to call me a hippo.

[John]

I mean, you know, I get it. It's just the game.

[Alex]

It's just the game.

[John]

The hippo eats every day.

[Alex]

You could have, like, said, not that hungry, hungry Princess last week. Yeah, exactly.

[John]

I was just basing off the game. I didn't. I didn't mean it like that.

[Alex]

How was your week, John? What'd you do?

[John]

Every example. Exactly. Every single thing that you did. The same thing.

[Alex]

No, I know.

[John]

All the time.

[Alex]

What was your experience? Because I have my own experience.

[John]

Well, we had our baby moon. Is it our baby or like, your baby? I never know.

[Alex]

Like the Weavers, because I think the purpose of a baby moon is it's not just about pampering me and making sure that I have a great time. It's like.

[John]

No, it's all about you.

[Alex]

No, no, it's us together. It's like our last trip.

[John]

Are you extending your hand out like you want me to?

[Alex]

Yeah. Hold it. It's like our last trip that we have as just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Just the two? Yeah. So that's what a baby moon is. It's just like. I don't. I don't know when they became a popular thing.

[John]

I just think this is another.

[Alex]

It's another thing to spend money on.

[John]

Exactly.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

But this.

[Alex]

I think I'll take it.

[John]

This thing is up there with, like, Valentine's Day.

[Alex]

What other holidays are just a waste of money?

[John]

Valentine's Day is such a joke. It's like, you need this day to celebrate your love. Be like, you should be celebrating being together all the time. Not this specific day.

[Alex]

Yeah, whatever. I mean, again, it's just an excuse.

[John]

Don't get divorced. Valentine's Day.

[Alex]

Yeah. It's just about celebrating your love. And. And this is about celebrating our partnership as just the two of us. Before we add a third, would you say, Hopefully.

[John]

I think the, like, holiday or thing that should be promoted is going on a trip after baby's born.

[Alex]

That's what I said, too. I was like. I said, what's that called?

[John]

That should be called something post.

[Alex]

Post baby maternity party.

[John]

Sure.

[Alex]

Because. Well, like, people go on maternity leave, and I've seen this where moms have posted and they're like, wait until the end of your maternity leave instead of going on a baby moon. Go then. So you could bring your baby and enjoy. But I think. I don't know. I just. I guess you just have to see what the vibe is. If.

[John]

So Baby Boone. We went to St. Vincent in the Grenadines. Grenadines. Or something. Sandals. It was awesome. It was cool. We can get into that. But I will say, it's whatever. You can't really do anything just sitting around like, you. And so I'm like, I'm not gonna be that dick husband that's like, let me go party while you sit around.

[Alex]

And do people do that? Like, I don't think that.

[John]

Yeah, I'm. I'm sure there's husbands that are, like, oblivious, like, I'm gonna do this. It's all inclusive. I'm gonna drink my face off. But not even, like, the whole drinking thing. It's like, you know, I just feel like we. We couldn't really do, like, a whole lot.

[Alex]

Well, I think Baby Boon is for relaxing. Yeah. It's like, obviously. But that's why I do think it. If you're between the two, I would choose to go after you pop out a baby. If, like, you're healthy and you're cleared and your baby is able to.

[John]

Well. Cause you're my friend. I wanna, like, do stuff with you.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

How much relaxing can you actually do?

[Alex]

Well, I thought it was a perfect amount. It was, like, three full days. It was nice. I really enjoyed it.

[John]

We say all the time, three days is plenty. I don't care where you are. Three days.

[Alex]

We went to the Sandals Resort, and we've never done sandals before. I feel like all Inclusives, too. Like, we kind of got over them for a little bit.

[John]

Well, sometimes they get a bad, like, stigma around them if they're like lower end ones. But Sandals is pretty nice.

[Alex]

It was beautiful. It was brand new. It was an easy four and a half hour flight from New York. So highly recommend we. There's a lot of couples there on their honeymoons and it made me feel old.

[John]

I know.

[Alex]

Like, oh, my God, you guys just got married.

[John]

I know, but so with the islands. That's a nice island, too. We took a little boat over there. Staff was great. Everything was great. So it was nice. I'm glad we got to do it. I think it was a little, like, surreal. Like, this is our last trip together, I guess.

[Alex]

Again, I don't know. Mentally, I prepared for that last year. And so for this year, I'm just like, hopefully it is. Don't be negative. Yeah, but no, that's what I just like, that was my thought process last year. So this year I'm just like, okay.

[John]

Oh, well, you just like, kill the vibe of a conversation.

[Alex]

That's me. Oh.

[John]

We went to Sandals and hopefully she makes it.

[Alex]

Yeah, we saw her today.

[John]

We're just, you know, we're good. She's good, everything.

[Alex]

We saw her today on a scan and she is John's twin.

[John]

She got my nose. She definitely has my nose. For sure.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

And she looks like a moody, moody lady. Right?

[Alex]

For sure. I'm like, just like me. Is her face squished in there? Because she looks like she's a resting.

[John]

Resting bitch face and she's got her fist up.

[Alex]

She's like the, the Tecos. No, she's not really that squished. She has a lot of room. And I go, oh. So her face just looks like she's not happy.

[John]

She's not happy.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Get me out of here.

[Alex]

It is wild, though, that, like, women grow babies to look exactly like their husbands.

[John]

It's so the. It's just like. Right. So the husbands don't, like, kill their young or eat their young or something.

[Alex]

Oh, that. Their kid is their kid. Yeah. But I mean, the fact that even through just this one scan, she's your. Your doppelganger.

[John]

You know how there's like, the parents that are like, that baby's not leaving my sight right after I deliver. I'd be like, I know exactly which one's going to be my kid. You could, you could take the kid, the one who has that fucking nose, out of that whole group.

[Alex]

Oh, my gosh. But I, I do Wonder how different she's actually going to look from the scan versus real life once we see her.

[John]

She's definitely going to be tan for sure.

[Alex]

She might get my pale skin, John.

[John]

No, I don't think so.

[Alex]

I don't know.

[John]

I don't think so.

[Alex]

We'll see.

[John]

Moving on from the honeymoon. The honeymoon. Oh my God. Moving on from the baby.

[Alex]

Wait, what was your favorite part of it?

[John]

I mean, hanging out with you, of course. That was close. That a trick question?

[Alex]

It really wasn't.

[John]

I don't know, because we also did while we were there, we did some work too. I'm trying to think of, I really want to go on a bike ride. We didn't get to do that.

[Alex]

Yeah, well, the one time we got on bikes, mine was flat.

[John]

I was gonna give you mine.

[Alex]

I don't know what is wrong with me that like I either break things. Like, remember that one time I was sitting at your family's dinner mid dinner. The chair, this wooden, very. It looked well put together.

[John]

Snap that chair in half.

[Alex]

The legs just. Just buckled underneath me. Same thing with this bike. I get on and it's like, flat tire. I'm like, okay, I'll just walk everywhere. I don't need to ride a bike.

[John]

Oh, wait, my favorite part definitely at night, smoking a cigar, having a cocktail. And we were just like building, planning our empire that we're going to conquer.

[Alex]

Yeah, I love that secondhand smoke too. So did your daughter.

[John]

I purposely tried to blow it away. I don't know why you kept moving. I go, I'm here. The wind's going this way. Sit over there.

[Alex]

I'm joking, John. I just know someone's gonna say something.

[John]

I also didn't ask you to come out there. I'm like, I'm just gonna smoke my cigar. You don't have to sit right next to me in the pool.

[Alex]

What was your favorite part of it? Talking with me. It was in the pool, talking with me. You know what my favorite part though was? Everywhere we went, my best friend, my lady dog, mom, she would come find us.

[John]

And the dog knew you were pregnant for sure.

[Alex]

I think she did, cuz she was also a mom, so I think she could sense it. But you know, the beach is. I. I wouldn't even say it was full of people. It was probably at like 40% capacity. But she would find us every time on the beach, dig a hole under my lounge chair and just sleep the entire time that we were there.

[John]

Picky. She's a picky dog. She didn't Want to eat anything? We kept getting caught throwing our food from the table.

[Alex]

We were. I'm surprised that they didn't yell at us.

[John]

Don't have dogs in your property if you don't want us to pet them and feed them.

[Alex]

Yeah, I mean, they're just. She's a working mom, you know, she wanted protein. She didn't want carbs.

[John]

Working mom.

[Alex]

Yeah, she's just busy.

[John]

What's that? Oh, my God. What's her. Reba's song. Work All I try so hard and I work all day.

[Alex]

Keep going, John.

[John]

Give me one line.

[Alex]

I don't know, but I know what song you're talking about. Where it's like, I'm a single mom, and I'm work so hard. We're gonna get copyright. Because this is so good.

[John]

Because it sounds so good.

[Alex]

Yeah, but I. That was my work.

[John]

Two jobs. Okay.

[Alex]

That's the. The island dogs. They do. They were working a lot of jobs.

[John]

What else was gonna say?

[Alex]

Oh, or our travel back. That was a cluster.

[John]

That's what I'm gonna talk about.

[Alex]

Okay.

[John]

Our flight back. People are so rude on the plane. Guys, for the love of God. When it chimes and you can get up to get in line to, like, if you're five rows back, you sprinting up. You weren't catching another flight. We know you weren't.

[Alex]

We were the last ones in.

[John]

I mean, just wait your turn. What is the problem?

[Alex]

Not only that, we had an elderly man next to us who had difficulty standing. And John, because he's a doctor.

[John]

No, I'm not. Never said that.

[Alex]

He knows how to handle.

[John]

Well, I know how to do transfers and sitting, sit to stand, all that.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

So he goes. He looks at me and goes, you're gonna help me up later when I need to get up because I got hip or something. I didn't know. I couldn't remember what he said. I'm like, I'm the perfect person next.

[Alex]

Exactly.

[John]

I know exactly what to do. Did not go the way I thought it was gonna go, though, because when we land and he's like, all right, I'm ready, while people are flying by us.

[Alex]

Well, that was the thing. It. People just weren't patient to wait for him. He was halfway in the aisle, halfway out, and people were pushing by him from behind, and I'm like, hello. Where's the etiquette here? What? Like, you see this man struggling, you're trying to pick him up. You even had to ask someone, hey, can you help me help him?

[John]

Well, I didn't need him. I needed him to like hold because he needed to get out of the chair, like the aisle. Anyways, I go grab the chair in front of you. Really would thought this isn't the first time for this guy, by the way. I'm like, grab the chair in front of you. I'm going to help you. I'm going to grab your arm, I'm going to pull you up by your pants. Well, he had like athletic pants on. Oh, and I couldn't.

[Alex]

I saw you looking for the belt.

[John]

I was looking for a belt and I couldn't grab his pants. I'm basically fisting this guy's ass, punching him up into the chair. So he's holding onto the chair and then he's got his cane, but it's like a foldable cane again. I'm holding him one hand, trying to like whip this cane together. And then he started going down a little. He goes, don't let me go. So now I have my hand in his ass, my knee and his hip to just like hold him there while I'm fullness and people are just staring at me. Yeah, I'm not expecting you to humle. You're behind me. I'm like, can you all fucking just wait a second?

[Alex]

Right? No. Everyone charging to the front to get off the plane to wait at baggage claim for an hour and a half.

[John]

Oh, I'm just like, if there, if there was a, like some sort of accident or something happening, catastrophic event, it's all for themselves. No, no one's gonna help anybody.

[Alex]

There's no Community. That's terrible effort there. Well, before we discuss things further, John, I wanted to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Cozy Earth's bamboo sheets are temperature regulating. They naturally wick away heat and moisture from your body, helping you sleep and several degrees cooler. And as a pregnant overheated lady myself, that's important. Cozy Earth sheets have been a game changer for helping me feel more comfortable while I sleep. Their sheets, along with their cuddle blanket, make it impossible to get out of bed in the morning. And I don't know about you. John knows this about me, but I'm the type of person who always needs a blanket on me. Watching a show on the couch. I need a blanket. I don't care if it's mid July. Honestly, like, I just, I just love to feel cozy all the time when working on my laptop. I want a blanket. The bubble cuddle blanket is intricately woven with ultra soft fibers. Perfect for your bedroom or Your living room. And what's great is that they offer a risk free purchase. You could try them for up to 100 nights of sleep and if you realize they aren't for you, return them. Except you won't because you'll love them so much. They also come with a 10 year warranty. Head to cozyearth.com and use our code. Straight S T R A I G H T straight for 40% off. Because bed should be more than a place you sleep. It should be a place where you annoy your husband for hours. But you're both too comfortable to move, so you just keep annoying him because you love your sheets so much. Yay. But yeah, I mean, I don't know if, if any of you have had the luxury of landing into JFK from an international flight. It, it is always a clusterfuck. I can't imagine being a visitor, like not being a citizen and then having to wait for two hours in the customs line. I would never come back. I would never come back to visit the US again.

[John]

The amount of people who come into this country, I'm like, wouldn't you have more TSA agents or customs agents? You have a, you take two hours to get through that line and then on top of it with all the construction dudes. Figure it out. Fucking figure it out.

[Alex]

Figure it out. You would think that there would be a plan in place, but no.

[John]

So for anyone going to the jfk, they've also switched the rideshare where you get dropped off. It's not like the top of the air chair.

[Alex]

Oh my God. Hold on. So let's go to where we land. We get through customs because we did like the mobile entry, which we do have to do, global entry, but we got through in like 10 minutes. But because the flight that had landed before us was backed up in customs, nobody could pick up their bags from the baggage belt baggage claim. So our flights bags start coming on top of it, but it is such a cluster. They're rolling over onto the floor. They, they're just jamming up.

[John]

So it stops.

[Alex]

The belt stops. We're waiting. And you would think like, oh, maybe someone who works there would take the bags off. And I was even thinking, should we as a group start removing these bags? And I'm like, that's not our jobs. I don't need to get another hernia. Pull out, hurt our backs, whatever. So 30 minutes later, someone from the airport starts to pull the bags off the belt to line them up so that our bags can eventually come an hour and A half later, literally, our flight had landed and it took an hour and a half to get our bags. Which jokes on us. We shouldn't have checked.

[John]

We're also not blaming the staff. I'm blaming the coordinators of the staff or the people responsible for like, it's just so unorganized. It's crazy. Get your together.

[Alex]

And you would think that after all of these years it would be a seamless process. Anyway, so we grab our bags and usually, depending on our mood, we're like, I know an lax. When you land in la, they have curbside pickup. If you get an Uber black or you could take the shuttle, it adds like an extra 20 minutes to your trip. And then like go to the Uber pickup lot in jfk, they never had a curbside pickup as an option. Like they started making people go, depending on what terminal you landed in, you had to take the shuttle to get picked up. But when we landed, I was like, oh, curbside pickup is an option. I'll pay the extra $50 to not take a 20 minute tram, whatever. So we're like, I click it, I order it, we get so lost. And we've done this a million times. But because the curbside pickup had never been a thing before. So John and I are heading in the direction that we think we're supposed to go, we end up in the area for regular Uber pickup, which is fine. So I'm like, okay, I'm just going to cancel this. We'll get on this tram, this air tram we get on. And I'm looking at it. It's also like 11 o', clock, 11:30 at night. My baby, like, pregnancy brain is kicking in. I'm exhausted. We've already been on the ground for like two hours at this point. I'm looking when we're in the train and I'm like, oh, shit, we're on the wrong train. So I'm like, john, we're on the wrong train. I look back at you, you're holding the two bags. I'm like, let's go. As I walk out the train, doors close behind me.

[John]

Almost close on her foot. I mean, that's how close it was. But the thing is, you knew the doors were closing. You're like, I'm still going to go. Door shut right in front of me. I have all of her luggage. She just looks at me from the other side. And if you're watching this, she was like this. And I'm like, and that's it. I have no idea where I'm going.

[Alex]

I'M like, I'll see you later, John. I was so tired. I was like, fuck.

[John]

You just like, assume that I'm like, at your beck and call right now. You're like, let's go. Boop. Go. Doors clock. Within, like two seconds.

[Alex]

I just. I made the split second decision. I thought we'd have time. And then as I'm walking through, I see the doors closed and I'm like, I have made the wrong choice here.

[John]

So you got it. So then, honestly, good, I had the train ride to myself because I'm just like this fucking.

[Alex]

But you know what, John? You could have, like, you know that I'm also like, I'm building two brains here.

[John]

Like.

[Alex]

Like my brain is going to this brain here. I'm tired. You can turn your brain on to travel this one time to just direct us to the curb.

[John]

So either way, I'm still on the right train, by the way. Get to my spot, wait for Alex.

[Alex]

You weren't.

[John]

Then Alex comes down the escalator. I'm waiting for her. I know that I have to go down this hallway where the to. To get to the ride share. And Alex, like, we're going the wrong way. So I say, okay, go back up the escalator. And she's like, well, I guess we could go back down. So then we go back down the escalator and go the way that I thought. And I'm patient. I know she's pregnant, so I'm not saying shit. I'm like, whatever. Also, I'm carrying both full fucking bags, and all she's got is her back.

[Alex]

When we were down there, after that 18th escalator down, you said, it's this way. And I said, okay, lead the way. Then we get to the end of the doors and you go, well, maybe it's not. I saw other people going here and I said, you make the executive decision. Is it through these doors? Are they not? And you go. You leave.

[John]

I'm not dying on a hill where you lose your mind on me. So anyways, we then go back the right way to the rideshare. We're there. Alex is losing her mind because she's like, the fucking Uber. It's. It's not working. And it's trying to send someone else to do. I was like, I'll get us Uber. I'm looking at the Uber app. I'm like, there's Uber and then there's Uber X or whatever. I'm not even looking at Uber Black or anything. And she goes, pick the quickest one I go, okay, I picked the quick, quickest one. Car rolls up, it's a regular car. And she goes, why'd you get the smallest car? I'm like, what are you talking about? I got what you told me to get.

[Alex]

Two full size luggages. Luggage. Luggage. Two full.

[John]

You'll pick the fastest one. So I picked the fastest one anyways. And it's just like.

[Alex]

And our luggage didn't fit, so he had.

[John]

Sitting in the backseat. Anyways, it doesn't matter.

[Alex]

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. We made it home. I was just. It was just a clusterfuck. And I feel like there's been a lot of times that thankfully, just on the way home from trips that always turn into the trip from hell.

[John]

You're welcome. I'm the hero in the story and you're the villain.

[Alex]

I don't think you're the hero at all. If you were the hero, you would have been like, I got.

[John]

I got us home. I got us home.

[Alex]

Okay. After a hundred years later, you would. You should have. You should have.

[John]

I also got all of our luggage off the thing. You wouldn't even. You're talking to some other couple.

[Alex]

You're like, I got talking to some other couple off. I'm eight months pregnant, and I rip that off the. The thing, the biggest one. I go, don't worry, John. I got it. You were on the other side. And I go, I was getting the other one.

[John]

You're chirping to some couple about our trip. I'm like, it's passing you.

[Alex]

You didn't even see it. I got it. I got the luggage. I got the Uber. Please don't even try to help me. But what would have been nice, John, is if you just took the leave from the beginning and you said, I'll get us home. My queen. My queen.

[John]

I'm the anchor. I'm the anchor. I'm like, I'll let you figure it out. If you don't got it. Daddy's here.

[Alex]

So you pissed me off, I pissed you off, and together we pissed off some people on the Internet. Not this past week, but the week before of.

[John]

Do we piss everyone off? About what? What do we do?

[Alex]

How, you know, people. The world doesn't revolve around people's children. And our. And our opinions will change once we have one.

[John]

Well, everyone, first off, even I'll take their side too. Everyone has their own opinion on something. So whatever. Whatever you think. I did notice that majority of people saying, your friends should show up for you. Show up for you are all people who have kids who are, who are already. So those people probably got offended because we said people don't have to accommodate to you because you are the one who technically changed.

[Alex]

I just think it's a two way street. I wasn't, I don't think that we were saying like you can't expect your friends to show up for you. I just think you can't expect for your friends to bend over backwards for you every time because you, you have a kid. I think yes, they can still love you in this new season of life. But like it's a two way street. Like you have to understand that they have lives too. You know, like they can't only be accommodating to you 100% of the time because you have a kid now. That's just where I mean I'm still.

[John]

Going to die on that hill. I really don't, I really don't care. I know they're not, they don't need to change. You change your family dynamic changed and whatever happens, get over it. Don't get offended and somebody doesn't want.

[Alex]

To hang out happens. I don't think is the right terminology. Happens would be like I got cancer and I don't have time to hang out with you because I'm in chemo all the time. Like having a kid. I guess it could be happens in certain situations but I feel like you're like you're made it making a choice to have a new chapter in your life and that's okay. But like you're, you can't expect everyone to 100 want to be around this new change in your life all the time. Like I just think there's balance. It's a two way street. It ebbs and flows and that's okay. I don't. I will be interested to see if we change our.

[John]

I'm not going to change on my opinion. I, I guarantee you. I, I hope you can throw this in my face. Whatever. I know that I'm not going to change.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

I will never change on that. I will have a kid and be like I understand that you don't want to hang out. I get it. No fault. I'll just find other people because there's life is in seasons or whatever the fuck that phrase is. Like you're going to meet new people and your circle is going to be different. Like we're going to be in a new stage of our life than some of our friends are. Except majority of our friends are already in that stage. Of life and we're catching up.

[Alex]

I don't know. Not everyone. I think you probably have like, it's more family that is in that stage of life or your friends. Most of my friends. I feel like I don't have kids yet, but again, I don't. If anything, I'm looking forward to them being a reprieve for me, like from parenthood, you know, like maintaining that individuality of like, you know, still being myself. Yeah. But like, I, I don't. I know that they're so excited though, to still embrace like our child.

[John]

And that's. And that's great too.

[Alex]

I just don't expect them to be like, oh, like I can't go travel to you because I have a kid, so you have to come to me every time. You know what I mean? I just feel like we've dealt with a lot of situations where people are great with balancing it and it's a learning curve also.

[John]

And then some different friends for different things. Like, right, I have friends for volleyball. I have friends for drinking. I have friends for Call of Duty. Like I all different group.

[Alex]

And that's work. Yeah.

[John]

I just don't like, I don't like people getting mad at people for not accommodating to you. It just, that bothers me. Like you're gonna think differently of your friends because your friends don't want to really hang out anymore. And like you're gonna judge them. That's what a two way street is. I guess you could both and your friends judging you for having kids or whatever. Like that just doesn't seem like a good relationship in general that that would happen.

[Alex]

Right. If there's no communication there and if I feel like if your friends just like drop you off. Either way, it's two way street. It takes two to tango. It's a change in life. But I just think that I still stand where. Where I stood.

[John]

So, other thing from last week's episode, that was a big topic. Zipper wins over button.

[Alex]

Oh, that was a few episodes ago.

[John]

But yeah, no, well, they were talking about in the last one too. I was getting more comments. Oh, you want double zipper pajamas. I don't know what that means, but apparently that's like a really. Especially at night. No one wants to fuck with buttons at like 2am After a feeding zipper because you want to try to keep them sleeping and less movement or something like that. So zipper wins. Or magnets.

[Alex]

We'll just see.

[John]

Did I talk about that last episode?

[Alex]

Oh, no, I don't. I. I haven't Seen magnets, but magnets sound good.

[John]

Magnets.

[Alex]

What about Velcro? I guess things get stuck in Velcro, and that's probably disgusting.

[John]

Well, as soon as you in the Velcro, that's like.

[Alex]

Like in a zipper. In anything you just like is nasty.

[John]

Maybe that's where the double zipper comes in. Because the first one gets nasty, but the outer one doesn't.

[Alex]

I really don't know. We should probably like, get more clothes, which we are going to officially, like, start registering for some things, which I think will be fun.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

To put together a nursery. I don't know. I still am not prepared to do that, but.

[John]

Oh, well, whatever.

[Alex]

Shall we jump into questions? Any other updates, John?

[John]

I don't know. Did I talk about losing my pants?

[Alex]

You lost your pants?

[John]

The old Italian ladies. Did I talk about that last night?

[Alex]

No, I don't think you did.

[John]

I got like a bunch of suits from suit Supply. I. I got like five suits and I needed them all tailored. And I got these two old Italian ladies where we live. They're awesome. And I give them. I'm sorry. I had. I had like eight pairs of pants. I gave them. Basically gave it to them. The whole place is so unorganized inside, it's just like a cluster. Sewing machines, clothes everywhere. And to keep track, she goes, put your name on a sticky phone number. That's it. She sticks it to the pants. Come back in a week.

[Alex]

Oh, like a post it note.

[John]

Yeah, sticky note, whatever. I come back, I don't remember what pants I gave her or what they look like.

[Alex]

You know what I think the problem was, though? You brought your mom and you're. Because it was Italian ladies. They were talking. It was just my mom's like, where are you from?

[John]

Your mom's like, I'm from Abruzzi. I'm like, okay. First off, I just love that she turns her Italian on in certain situations. Right, Whatever. I come back to pick the pants up. She hands me the pants, and I'm like, are these mine? I'm like, they look like mine. I bring them back, they're not my pants.

[Alex]

But you didn't notice for days.

[John]

I didn't really look at them. I didn't need the pants. And then a couple days later, I go, shit, these are not my pants. And there's only four. And I gave her like seven or eight. Bring them back. Thinking like, she's like, oh, sorry, whatever. She goes, well, what are you doing taking those pants if they're not your pants? I'm like, you're the one who gave me these pants, by the way. She's like 70 or something.

[Alex]

John thinks. He's like, oh, I'm gonna get these pants for free. Because she up like, she gave me someone else's pants. Someone else probably got my pants.

[John]

So she goes at me so that I swap. I find my pants. I had to go find my pants in the back of her store. I find the pants.

[Alex]

She's like, you idiot. You do not go look. Go look for another.

[John]

By the way, I paid for the first round of pants. And she goes, there'll be another $80. I'm like, not only did you give me the wrong pants, but I have to pay for inconveniencing you.

[Alex]

I guess she stood on business. Her business.

[John]

And that's Italian.

[Alex]

She was like, you're the one who fucked up. You should have checked and not taking the wrong pants. Idiot. It was a test.

[John]

I'm losing my mind. I'm scared that I already talked about this, and if I did and I told the story already, I'm sorry.

[Alex]

I don't think you did. I would have remembered. I think. Who knows? I have mom brain. I can get us to the Uber pickup correctly.

[John]

But at least she missed it. All right, question number one.

[Alex]

What's your excuse?

[John]

I'm getting old.

[Alex]

You're getting old.

[John]

I was thinking about when she turns 20, I'll be 58.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I'll be almost dead.

[Alex]

You'll be fine. You're like, it's fine.

[John]

Look at that. Look at that. I'm like, bad, bad. I'm like Brad Pitt and Fury. See that? Okay.

[Alex]

No one can see that. Are you done?

[John]

I'm ready.

[Alex]

Okay.

[John]

I'm sweating. I'm hot.

[Alex]

You're a lot of things, and one of them is annoying. Okay, first question. John, do you want to start reading it today?

[John]

No.

[Alex]

Okay. Just wanted to give you the option just in case my boyfriend won't pee in front of me, which I feel like this question was kind of perfect for today because this morning you just decided to pee outside. And I'm like, I pulled a question about this.

[John]

We walk into the car, I didn't feel like going back inside. I don't want to waste water either. I don't like flushing the toilet after I pee.

[Alex]

That's just like, you're giving a couple rounds, killing our plans.

[John]

Send me. It's Kobe. Do you want to go outside with Kobe at night? Because he won't pee. He'll dilly daddle around. Dilly daddle around unless I pee. He'll pee right after me and he'll go inside? Yes. OK then go out. Then let him go out there and fight the raccoons. He just takes his time and this episode is also sponsored by Caraway as an amateur chef myself, my secret tool to a painless cooking journey has been Caraway home. I used to spend so much time trying to figure out what pots and pans to use. They were never organized and they were impossible to clean with. With Caraway cookware, not only are they aesthetically pleasing to look at and easy to clean, but they are also non toxic with a chemical free coating. We've been using Caraway products for years and they are my go to cooking staples. The cookware set comes with a saute pan, fry pan, Dutch oven and saucepan plus lids and storage. It's the ultimate kitchen setup. The cookware set will save you $150 versus buying the items individually. Plus if you visit carawayhome.comgitms you you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit carawayhome.com gitms or use code GITMS at checkout. Caraway Non Toxic Cookware Made Modern Anyway.

[Alex]

My boyfriend won't pee in front of me. We're in our 30s and have been together for a year. I'm not sure why this bothers him so much, but it does. He refuses even if one of us is showering or brushing our teeth and he has to have me leave and full on close the door. I know you guys will ask, but don't worry. I've seen all of the parts up close and personal and everything is normal. I pee in front of him.

[John]

That's not what I was going to ask.

[Alex]

I was thinking that she's like John the Inspector.

[John]

What kind of cock does he have?

[Alex]

I pee in front of him and this doesn't weird him out. He just won't do it the other way around. Thoughts?

[John]

He's just pee shy. Maybe he just has a hard time peeing in front of people. A lot of people have that. I think Travis Kelsey has that problem.

[Alex]

Why specifically do you know that Travis Kelsey has that problem?

[John]

I think I heard it on like a podcast or something.

[Alex]

I don't know.

[John]

I just made like a random statement. I'm probably totally wrong, but that's what I heard back.

[Alex]

John I guess pee shy would be the correct terminology for someone who doesn't want to pee in front of someone else.

[John]

One time I remember at a bar in Long Island. I go to pee. It's just. It's just a single bathroom. And I go to pee in the toilet. And a guy comes in. He's like, I got to pee. I'm going to piss in the sink. And we're right next to each other and I just couldn't pee. I was like. And I just, like, left. I was so uncomfortable. So I guess, I don't know, it could be the moment that's happened to.

[Alex]

Me, like being in the ocean before when it's like, okay, jump off the boat. Like, there's no bathroom on the boat. Pee in the ocean. And because I'm like, forced, and I know that everybody else is peeing, I'm like, p. Alex, P. Like, I can't do it.

[John]

But were you treading water?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I gotta hold on to something.

[Alex]

That's true, too. I can shit and tread a normal. I don't know. I. If you. John, that's disgusting. You could. And tread. You could tread water and shit at the same time.

[John]

Yeah, but I can't pee.

[Alex]

There's no way. I feel like that is completely different. Like how?

[John]

Backwards.

[Alex]

And you're just squeezing.

[John]

I don't really have to squeeze if I have to go if I have to.

[Alex]

It's totally different than if you have ibs. If you don't have to squeeze, you just have to think, let loose and it just comes out. Ew.

[John]

Unless you have to go on a plane. And it's like, my body hates me.

[Alex]

We need to answer the question for me. I think it would bother me if you weren't comfortable enough to pee in front of me.

[John]

Who cares? He's pee shy. Leave him alone.

[Alex]

No.

[John]

That's the only response I have to that.

[Alex]

I also, just, like, love annoying you while you're peeing. And if you made me get out, it would make me want to see your pee.

[John]

Even though sometimes my pee flow is not that strong around you. Because I'm scared you're going to poke me in the. The butt or do something stupid.

[Alex]

Yeah, you should always be on your.

[John]

Come around my shoulder. Like, when she doing. I don't know, like, leave me alone.

[Alex]

I just always want to take a peek. So I'm just. John's trying to block me out. I'm like, let me just see. I just want to take a peek. Let me hold him. I'll help. Maybe ask. Maybe ask him if he needs help.

[John]

He. Okay, I. I said my piece, like four times.

[Alex]

You just. That's it. But you. Would it annoy you if I Never peed in front of you.

[John]

No. Enjoy your time. Enjoy your personal time. I don't need to be in there.

[Alex]

I just feel like that's a waste of time though. Especially like in a hotel room if you're traveling.

[John]

I don't like, I'll tell you this. I do not like when you're near. I, I can't.

[Alex]

When our hotel room had like a separate door for like the bathroom, but you know how it's like open concept bathroom, but then like there's a door.

[John]

It's clear sink. That's the sink. And then clear door, toilet. And I'm just like staring at you.

[Alex]

Stuff at the other sink first.

[John]

Okay. I. I can shit in front of you. I choose not to because I don't want you. I don't want to be in front, in front of me. And then I just think about the sounds of the toilet.

[Alex]

Well, I just don't want to be around you when you're shitting because it's.

[John]

It'S.

[Alex]

It'S just like it's too vocal.

[John]

This isn't about us. Moving on. Next question.

[Alex]

I don't think we helped her though. You just don't.

[John]

He's peace. I leave him alone.

[Alex]

Wow.

[John]

Just leave them alone.

[Alex]

That's fine. All right, next question. My fiance and I bought our house three years ago. We are in our mid to late 20s. My fiance has always wanted to travel, and after a recent trip we took to Japan, I can't help but feel like we're missing out if we don't travel before we have kids. We've spoken about either selling our house or renting it and taking a year or so out to travel. But the uncertainty of what life will be like when we get back is making us both uneasy. Neither of us can take work with us, so we both have to quit our job. So my question is, what would you do?

[John]

What's the problem?

[Alex]

They want to travel. They just bought a house.

[John]

Fucking go travel.

[Alex]

That's what I think.

[John]

Next question.

[Alex]

If you're okay, I booked an Alaskan cruise also. All of these are around travel. What's the problem? What's the problem? Just go. No, I think anything like this. A big life choice. If you're. Go to your future self. If you would look back and regret not doing it, you got to do it. Who cares? Life is short. Rent out your house if you can.

[John]

I think a lot of times people have a hard time not overthinking something.

[Alex]

Yeah, maybe we're should overthink sometimes more.

[John]

I think us not overthinking has worked in our favor. Worked in our favor and has helped us with being successful, to be honest. But I mean, we had the LA move and then selling the house that quick, that kind of us. But, you know, you're not going to win them all, right, so.

[Alex]

Well, that's why I'm saying, like, you can. You can rent out your house and even just do it for a few months. You don't have to necessarily take a whole year to do it. But I will say a lot of people on the trip that we were on when we were at Sandals, I mean, you can't bring kids there, but they had kids and they were just traveling without their kids. So I don't want to say you can't travel once you have kids either, because hopefully we'll feel comfortable enough to do that.

[John]

What was that? I don't know if it pertains to this as much, but that guy that was. You were listening to him or something, he was like just taking the. Oh, no. Some girl podcaster talking about, like taking.

[Alex]

Oh, like the more successful businesses act quicker than it was like a business podcast or something.

[John]

But it still kind of pertains to life. Like, right, Just do.

[Alex]

Instead of waiting and like, like thinking for things to be perfect or just like harping on a decision, just do it. Like, just make the choice within, you know, the, the 24 hours and do it.

[John]

It's just the two of you right now. I mean, you could take. Now it's time to take risk.

[Alex]

Yeah, sure. And again. And I think if you look back and do what?

[John]

And fun.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I think if you're gonna regret it, that's your answer. You gotta do it, then you'll figure it out.

[John]

I agree.

[Alex]

Next question. I booked an Alaskan cruise not knowing I was pregnant. And then when we found out, I was excited because my friend and I were going to use the cruise as a funny baby moon together before the baby comes. I did not know the cruise policy cutoff is 24 weeks. Now I'm scrambling to get someone to take the cruise, but the cruise line won't let me give the reservation to someone. They also will not let me board the ship with a note from a doctor saying I am healthy for travel, although their policy is clear and it's my fault. Am I the asshole for hoping someone on the cruise line booking would be more helpful and flexible? The eventual side of me is wishing to tell people that Blank cruise line is the worst, but it's also my fault for not knowing the policy.

[John]

No, you're not the asshole. That's a weird policy to have. I don't know. Why? Is it because they need to vet the person?

[Alex]

I think. I don't know. I.

[John]

Why could they not. Why would you not swap it to somebody else? And it's another paying customer. What's. What's the problem?

[Alex]

Yeah, that's the part that I don't know. But I did know. But I did know about the policy of not being able to travel cert after a certain gestation of pregnancy. So for me, I was like, I think I saw probably just a few years ago a TikTok about that where like some mom was going on a Disney cruise and then they wouldn't let her on because she was 26 weeks pregnant or something. Yeah, that's annoying. But at the same time, I guess it's just not common knowledge that you can't go on a cruise pregnant even if it is a. We're letting you know. Yeah, you would think that they would at least refund her.

[John]

I just don't understand why that would be a problem. I don't. I don't get it.

[Alex]

Or that they can't.

[John]

But no, you're not the. I mean, yeah, I guess you should have done a little more of your due diligence on the trip, but they should be a little more accommodating to you.

[Alex]

Maybe they need proof that you are pregnant and that. You know what I mean?

[John]

Like, maybe she gave them the proof. How the. Do they know?

[Alex]

No, I'm just thinking, like, if someone were to. Because I feel like policies are put into place because of past things. So I'm thinking the reason why this is a thing is because people were probably going into preterm labor on the ship and they didn't have, you know, the medical. Yeah, they didn't have the necessary needs to help.

[John]

Why did you tell them how far along pregnant. How far along you were? Because if you didn't, you could probably have swapped. I wonder if the policy. If she didn't say she was pregnant, but she wanted to bow out and give it to somebody else. If she could have done it that way, like, why even tell them that could have been a different loophole. I don't know why you told them you were pregnant.

[Alex]

Well, unless they ask how far. Like they ask if you're pregnant or not, and then they need to know either way, like that's their policy.

[John]

I mean, yeah, you're technically at fault. You didn't read the fine line, but you're not an. You're just, you're at fault for not paying attention.

[Alex]

Yeah, but what I'm saying is it's why they're probably not flexible of refunding is probably because people were using this as an excuse to get out of a trip last minute if they couldn't like afford it or something. You know what I mean? For it not being refundable or like not being able to give this hand, this cruise off to someone else. I think that's the weird part is that like, if it's already paid for, why.

[John]

Yeah, you're not asking for a full refund, you're swapping the person out. So I don't get that.

[Alex]

Yeah, but again, the fine print is the fine print. Even though it's annoying, it's there for a reason. So that's it. That's all.

[John]

We're just churning because we're agreeing on stuff. We're just flying through this.

[Alex]

And this one, I'm just gonna. Even if I do agree with you, I'm just gonna to disagree with you. I don't know what this question is yet. Next question. I went through three hard years of ivf. Found out about some medical issues I had. Throughout the years, I did everything I could to become healthier and make myself and the situation better. I went from pre diabetic to my numbers being perfect. I changed it due to diet as well as lifestyle changes. I am now five months pregnant with a baby girl and through the roof. Aside from intermittent fasting, I. I have followed these changes and continued to work out and eat right every now and then. I do like to indulge in some sweet treats. And when I do, my husband feels the need to make comments or make me feel bad about my decisions. He tries to guilt me and says, I don't care what you do when the baby is born, but now you can't do those things. You would feel horrible if you gave the baby diabetes. I've asked him to stop. I've told him to stop making me feel bad and it's not an everyday thing and. And he continues to make his comments. While on vacation and at the airport, I purchased some snacks and he made his comments again. I started to cry and then threw out the unopened snacks. And now he's continuing to make me feel bad about my decisions. My doctors have cleared me and have said my numbers are great. I've never felt this hurt or insecure, unsure what to do.

[John]

Bad partner. A guy's being a dick. Yeah, if you're Good. And the baby's good. And you're doing what you're supposed to do. Live your life. I don't. I like how this outside entity is telling you what to do. And what is he doing is he's not carrying this baby. He doesn't know what you're going through. He doesn't know how you're feeling. You know, I think. And on top of that, not being supportive. So the one thing he should be doing, supporting you, helping you, he could have said in a different way. He's just bringing you down and. And making things worse. That's a. That's a fucking bad dude.

[Alex]

That's when you have your doctors telling you that your numbers are good. Yes, he a fucking doctor. I think that's where what it really boils down to is, I'm sorry, sir, do you have your medical degree? You do not. I'm going to take the opinions and the guidance from my doctors who are telling me that what I'm doing is okay.

[John]

I hope it feels like shit. You know, it's your person, your support.

[Alex]

It doesn't seem like he feels like shit. So, like, what do you do in a situation like this?

[John]

I mean, you've expressed your concern to him, concerns to him, and he keeps doing what he's doing. I don't fucking know. What do you want me to say? Divorce him. Get rid of him.

[Alex]

What are you gonna do now that you said that? I'm gonna go back to this question. It was just a random one that I pulled off onto the side, and I was like, if we have time, I'll. I'll ask it. But someone had written in about how casually we speak about divorce. This is a situation that I don't think that divorce needs to be on the table. But I do think that he's. I don't want to say controlling or abusing you, but in a way that sounds fucking controlling. Yeah, it is controlling. Because, again, this is a situation in which he has no control over. So he's trying to project onto you what he thinks is right and how he wants you to behave. But at the end of the day, is he also. Is his diet 100% clean? Is he the one building bones? It doesn't fucking matter. At the end of the day, he's not carrying the baby. You are, and he's just not. And he's just not your fucking doctor. And I think that that's what you need to communicate, communicate to him is that you're following the guidelines, you're doing what you need to do. And if he can't support that, then you don't need. He doesn't need to communicate with you then during the rest of your pregnancy about your diet habits.

[John]

Like, you're making stuff worse. Like, give me a beat. Just go away. Just go away. Literally, the guy's one fucking job is to support you, and he's just not doing that. Like, that's a shitty partner. Go. Good luck. I hope he's a better person when the baby's here.

[Alex]

But I think what's important when you're pregnant, because I think I had to say this to John too, about, like, just certain conversations that I just didn't feel comfortable having while I was pregnant. You just have to communicate that and say, unless I am doing something that is actually harmful and you're actually concerned, please keep your opinions to yourself. I know what I'm doing is best for me and for baby. I think ultimately you have to express and communicate what you need throughout this pregnancy and the type of conversation you want to have surrounding your pregnancy in order to get through it. Because it is. It's. It's a. It takes a mental toll. A physical, emotional. It's a lot for you to go through.

[John]

Did communicate to him. That's the problem. Like you have communication with me. I'm receptive to what you're telling me, and I'm taking a mental note of it. This guy's not. He's just brushing that off and continuing down the road of saying whatever the he wants to say.

[Alex]

My suggestion would be the next time that you have an appointment with your OB to bring it up and say, hey, we just wanted to address something.

[John]

Call him out in front of her. Yeah, yeah.

[Alex]

And then that way he has the proof or, you know, it's an open conversation with your doctor and he can hear it from her.

[John]

I also wouldn't say we. I'd be like this here. He's. He's got some concerns.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

Go ahead, Billy, tell her what you've been telling me. Oh, you don't want to say anything? He's saying that I'm eating too much. What do you think, doc?

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Bring. Bring a third party in and if he can't go to an appointment, have her write a note or bring up a study on the Internet.

[John]

None of that's gonna do anything. I think it's somebody calling him out that. That will adjust his tude a little bit. Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Alex]

I just like his opinion does not men's opinions during women's Pregnancies should exist literally nowhere.

[John]

That. I don't. I don't agree with that. No. Because if you have a supportive partner, it's sometimes good to have an outsider supporting you in a way that maybe you didn't realize or keeping you in. Not keeping you in check, but, like, if there's something that you shouldn't actually be doing, but that's affecting.

[Alex]

Solicited.

[John]

Is it unsolicited when it's your husband? That's the other thing. Like, that's your partner. There's a difference between being a negative teammate and somebody that's supporting you. Like, that's. You're. You're basically telling your partner to be a mute and not say anything when your partner is the one who helped give life in this situation and it is their child too.

[Alex]

30 seconds of effort. Yes, but.

[John]

But it is. Okay, first off. First off, at least five minutes, I just.

[Alex]

Okay, that's being very generous. I just think that, like, again, this. She knows what's gonna be best, and if she needs help and other opinions in very rare circumstances, is someone out there, like, smoking crack and needing the husband to be like, yeah, you shouldn't do that.

[John]

You're. I'm not agreeing with you on that.

[Alex]

No, I'm not talking about support, like.

[John]

In a lot of situations, giving opinions. I'm not saying negative opinions, but giving opinions is giving support and. And giving some sort of. Maybe they have a little more knowledge than the. The mother does.

[Alex]

Okay, fine. I won't make a broad generalization.

[John]

You just saying, like, the husbands don't need to say a fucking thing. I'm like, that's bullshit.

[Alex]

But to a point, Like, I think it could get past a point where it.

[John]

Yeah, obviously, but you're saying in general, don't fucking say anything. The pregnancy is all the. The. The mother. Which, sure, it is, but your partner is also assisting you, whether it's at home, going to your appointments with you, driving you to appointments, taking care of you, feeding you.

[Alex]

You know, if you have a supportive partner, like, again, you can't draw generalizations across the board.

[John]

You just did. You're like, no husband should roll a tape. No husband should say a fucking thing.

[Alex]

That's not exactly what I said, but I said that their opinions should not exist.

[John]

What's up?

[Alex]

I just think it's. It really is a personal thing between a woman who's using her body to grow a baby and her doctor. If she wants the opinions of her husband or from a man, she can take them if she wants.

[John]

That wasn't the debate, John.

[Alex]

What opinions have you given me?

[John]

None.

[Alex]

None.

[John]

You know why? Because I'm. I. Because I don't have an I. You have more knowledge than I do.

[Alex]

And I know that you're more supportive than the majority of husbands.

[John]

That's true. I'm like, maximum effort, 50%.

[Alex]

Again, you're. Again, we're very.

[John]

I just know when to push and when not to. And I know what type of mood you're in. So I'm like, is this something I really want to fight on?

[Alex]

But you trust that I have the instincts of like doing what is best, right?

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So I think that that's.

[John]

I. I get in your ass a little bit if I'm like. If you're like crushing coffee. And I'm not saying you are, but like sometimes I'm like, should you be drinking that much coffee? I don't know, but that's like about it.

[Alex]

But again, I still don't think that you say anything because I know what a limit is sometimes.

[John]

I do. I know I'm gonna catch a little blowback, but I know then that seeds plan in your head. You're like, maybe I shouldn't. But also I am the one with the healthcare background. So sometimes I'm like, take a backseat, lady.

[Alex]

I just think for.

[John]

Do you know human anatomy?

[Alex]

I'll change it.

[John]

Not as well as I do.

[Alex]

I'll change it for this. For the safety of husbands. Don't give your fucking opinions because like I already want to backhand you just for breaking bringing it up.

[John]

I mean, I do get that. I'm like, I know you're like a high state mental right now.

[Alex]

The thing is again with pregnancy, like you're already doing so fucking much and you're going to now chime in and be a little beep beep, beep in my ear about other things that I need to be doing. Shut the fuck up. Like, I'm doing my best. You know what? I'm doing John, My best.

[John]

I know, I know you're doing your best.

[Alex]

Okay.

[John]

And I'm just helping you do a little better.

[Alex]

So this is going to be the last episode that John is part of.

[John]

It'll be gift to me straight by Alex.

[Alex]

By just Alex. And John, he just went missing, unfortunately.

[John]

He's dead in a barrel somewhere.

[Alex]

No, I left him back at Sandals. He's.

[John]

That wouldn't be bad.

[Alex]

That's what the. That's what the story that will be told.

[John]

I'll be the dog king. No one will actually all the Island's dogs.

[Alex]

No one will actually find you at Sandals, John. You will find yourself at the bottom of the ocean. Next question. I need help on how to approach the situation. I. I, being nosy, decided to look through my husband's phone while we were on vacation. We share our phone passwords with one another, and we have nothing to hide. So I thought. I happened to find screenshots of his secretary from her social media. She's a pretty girl, I won't deny that. But it definitely raised some red flags for me, especially knowing his past work experiences with family members. Having had infidelities with secretaries, I never thought in my. So I guess that means his family members.

[John]

What is this, like, a fucking. A genetic trait, Right?

[Alex]

I don't understand why that matters. I never thought my wildest dreams that I would be in this situation, questioning my husband's intentions. I always assumed we had a pretty good, easygoing relationship and always kept it fun and exciting. We've been together for over 10 years, and we were recently married. Obviously, I did a deeper dive, but there was nothing I found that was inappropriate. The secretary is married, has kids, and seems to be in a happy relationship. But it definitely struck a nerve, especially with our recent circumstances of us having had a miscarriage. I don't know whether to call him out and risk him knowing I've gone through his phone or not say anything. Please help.

[John]

They're on their honeymoon.

[Alex]

No, they've been married. They've been together for 10 years. They were just on vacation. She looked through his phone.

[John]

Probably one of his photos.

[Alex]

Probably while he was pooping. Actually, no, because he probably brought his phone with him. I don't know. It was just. Yeah. Like, were they.

[John]

Is it like a family photo? Yeah, a work photo where they're all together. Is it a photo with her tits out?

[Alex]

I'm assuming it was probably just into individual photos of the secretary. Probably not.

[John]

Family photos, a history of family, his fidelity.

[Alex]

His brother did it, so he must.

[John]

That's so random.

[Alex]

And with a secretary, like, I mean, I guess.

[John]

I guess I would have that thought, too. I'm like, well, his brother did it, so, yeah. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess.

[Alex]

Stays in the family. What would you do, John? Would you call him out? Would you call me out? If you saw screenshots of my coworker.

[John]

Kobe, I'd call you out at anything because I can't keep stuff in, but it's almost like, would you want more evidence? It seems like there's not a lot it's kind of random. I. What?

[Alex]

Why.

[John]

Why would you not tell us what kind of photos were they?

[Alex]

Well, either way, let's just say they were normal photos of just like a few of her sitting in a chair. Like, doesn't matter. I think like, whatever could be on her social media. Like, I'll just, I'll just put myself in this situation. If I saw. Went on your phone and saw. I would 100% bring it up to you.

[John]

I would be like, it's a very random photo. Why do you have.

[Alex]

Yeah. These photos? Even if it was a friend, a co worker, a family member, if it's.

[John]

His rebuttal, something like I sending it to my friend who's single or whatever. Whatever. Be like, prove it. Show me that text. I'd keep diving down. Like, you know, why. Unless he was taking a screenshot to show his friends or somebody who maybe was single.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's true.

[John]

I would just elaborate more.

[Alex]

Are you talking from experience? Whose screenshots do you have on your phone?

[John]

Who. Have I done that? No, your friend.

[Alex]

Well, yeah, but did you. I just like copied the Instagram profile and sentence. But it. But it's similar and that's the weird thing. I don't know. Is that. Is that just a personal choice? Are you sending screenshots? Are you forwarding a.

[John]

You're saying it's a weird thing. It's so much simpler. Like as a. As a guy, but you know, like looking at a profile to screenshot. Let me find the profile, let me copy the profile. Let me send. Instead of just either way, this.

[Alex]

This secretary is married with kids, so.

[John]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Alex]

Yeah. It's not like he would be sending over to a buddy.

[John]

She said she was hot.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's what this. The writer said, the listener said. So I don't know. I would address it and I don't want to jump to conclusions and assume. Huh.

[John]

Have her address it while they're on vacation.

[Alex]

Well, she's probably home at this point. But yeah, I would. I mean, I don't know why I would. You would? Wait, what? I. For some reason in this moment live, she's. What do you think this is live? You're like, well, you. Where are you?

[John]

Just she messaging you right now.

[Alex]

Just in. We have a listener email who is on vacation with her husband. Should she. She's on standby. Should she address.

[John]

Well, since you're home now.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. You got to dress it. Wow. Good for her for keeping it in on vacation because I would have said something right at the swim up bar.

[Alex]

I don't know how people don't communicate those things immediately.

[John]

Not us.

[Alex]

I just, I can't.

[John]

I don't care if we're at a family event. I'd be like, what the is this? People have restraint.

[Alex]

I have none.

[John]

Zero.

[Alex]

I just don't. I don't feel like I have the bandwidth to.

[John]

Nonsense. Yeah, we don't have time for nonsense.

[Alex]

I mean, I don't have time and the amount of energy because my past relationships that I've been in, like. Yeah, like, I've definitely held things back.

[John]

I think just watch like porn of people that nobody knows. Like, why do you always notice? A lot of times it's like we're.

[Alex]

Talking about communicating and you're like, just watch porn.

[John]

You know I'm saying like strangers. Because you're making it so personal. Personal. You know what I'm saying?

[Alex]

Personal. If he has a personal, personal attachment to the, you know, the person, that's personal. Right. You know what I mean?

[John]

Like emotional. So much harder. I feel like, I guess each his own. But if you're watching porn, Alex, but.

[Alex]

You'Re talking about someone who's just whacking off to someone he might actually like. It might be more in depth than that. They might have like an emotional connection even worse, obviously. But that's the reason why he's not just doing it to porn, he's doing it to the secretary.

[John]

There's a personal aspect to what's going on here. Whether he's beating off to the pitcher or not. It's still like, that would hurt me. Oh, that would hurt me so much more. Then I'd be like, I get why you're jerking off to what her name was. Whatever, someone.

[Alex]

Sometimes I hope everyone can follow John because sometimes I have a hard time.

[John]

People do. No, I know. I appreciate people, the comments who like, break down what I'm saying because I know a lot of times it doesn't make a lot of sense, but people are like, I understand what John's saying. He didn't say in the best way, but I get where he's coming from. And when they. And I read, I'm like, that's exactly.

[Alex]

What I was trying to say. People get you. And I like that you don't.

[John]

My wife, who I've been with for forever.

[Alex]

Sometimes again, it's just like similar, like we're. We're live here. We're on the scene.

[John]

We're on the scene.

[Alex]

We're on the scene so much. Just how you sort of sometimes Have a hard time answering the questions. Sometimes I have a hard time listening to your response.

[John]

It's like you're breaking da Vinci's code trying to listen to what I'm saying.

[Alex]

I'm just like, okay, this is. And then what? What are the facts that they said in the question so I could go back and reference. I have a lot going on over here too, John.

[John]

Just so you know, this has nothing to do with anything. I don't know what made me think of this, but when we're sleeping at night, Alex always wants me to massage her arm. Slaps her arm onto my chest. She goes, come on, you know the deal.

[Alex]

You know the drill.

[John]

You know the drill. I don't know why that made me think of that, but I found. I thought that was so funny. You know the drill.

[Alex]

Just scratch my arm. It's like there's nothing better than arm scratches. You scratch my arm right now.

[John]

Next question.

[Alex]

Well, do we answer this? Yes, obviously. Communicate with your husband, get to the bottom of this and give us an update. Because I want to know if you said anything on vacation.

[John]

It's probably not even a big deal. He probably took a screenshot. I was like, oh, yeah, somebody. She was looking for a new job somewhere and I sent the person a photo.

[Alex]

I don't see any reason why you would have to take screenshots and keep them on your phone.

[John]

Maybe he took a screenshot and he's giving it to the local news because they're doing an article on her.

[Alex]

Okay, that's actually a good. A good thought, John.

[John]

For cheating co worker.

[Alex]

Okay, maybe. Next question. Are we the assholes for thinking it's fucked up that my sister has booked a vacation in Europe for the month of our baby being born? She will be gone for five weeks. She doesn't think that there's anything wrong with it and says that due to her living out of state, she probably wouldn't have made it out for his birth anyway. That has not sat right with us. But to add to this, we have to go to her out of state wedding next year, travel with a baby, board our dog, get a hotel room, the whole nine yards. My husband doesn't think we should be obligated to go because she doesn't feel obligated to be in the country for the birth of our first child.

[John]

I'm getting the gist of this.

[Alex]

What are your thoughts? Give us your best mediocre advice.

[John]

I mean, if you want to go the route of not going to her wedding, the tit for tat it's just going to keep getting worse and worse and snowball. I get, I get your side though.

[Alex]

Am I the only one who like, truly does not give a fuck about anyone being around for the birth of my baby?

[John]

Everyone's.

[Alex]

Everyone's different.

[John]

It's different though.

[Alex]

And I guess like, if your relationship with your sister is that you want her in the delivery room with you, maybe, but I like, maybe I can understand your reasons for being frustrated. I just don't have that relationship with my sister. So I'm like, dude, you can.

[John]

Everyone's looking at events in their life and different pedestals. People are like, weddings are the pinnacle. Babies, birthdays, Christmas, I don't know. So everyone's different on what, where something, what level it's at.

[Alex]

I just, I feel like you can't compare a wedding and the birth of a baby. Like the birth. Unless it's a scheduled C section or induction. You really don't know when they're going to come. So it's like, you know, a wedding, it's a completely different type of event. Like a kid you could meet whenever. They're not, you know, knock on wood, they're not going anywhere. A wedding is a one day thing.

[John]

Maybe you.

[Alex]

And you also don't have to get married again. True. Okay, sure. But, but I'm saying like that event is a one day event. Like, I don't know, I just think that they're hard to compare. Apples and oranges there.

[John]

That's semantics. It's subjective. I plead the fifth. I should be a lawyer.

[Alex]

No, you shouldn't.

[John]

Semantics.

[Alex]

I don't know. I just. Again, I guess it depends how close you are with your sibling and if you really wanted her to be there, but you could communicate with that. Communicate to her. What? With that information and.

[John]

Sing it once.

[Alex]

What?

[John]

Let's sing it once. Communication.

[Alex]

I, I just don't personally think it's that big of a deal. But that's me and my bias and my experience. I just want to, I just, I'm like, if you meet her in a few weeks, that's fine too.

[John]

Just choose violence. Choose violence. Just don't go to her wedding and just really cause some friction in the family, you know. Again, I agree with you, Al, but that's just us, like babies born, you'll see the baby. But I, I do, but that's like our opinion. Like, I can see other people. Everyone's opinion is different. So you could go either way.

[Alex]

Everyone's opinion is different because their relationships with their siblings are different. Their Priorities are just different. I think it just depends. But what is going to help solve. Solve this?

[John]

I could see being kind of up. If you're close to your sister and you tell your sister this is the due date, and she's like, cool, cool. And then the next day she's like, oh, also, I just booked a trip during that time. Did she book the trip before?

[Alex]

I'll attribute it to my parents, like, if my parents were not going to be around because, like, you might have a closer relationship with your sister than, you know, than we do with our siblings. Not that we don't have close relationships. I just don't care for them to be around for the birth. But like, if my mom and dad were not gonna be around the week surrounding, again, I don't need them at the hospital, I don't need them in the room. But like just that support system. And again, everyone's needs are different. But yeah, I might feel a little butt hurt if my mom was like, oh my God, well, we're gonna be in Europe like the month that you're giving birth, and we won't be around the weeks before, the weeks after to assist or just kind of celebrate with you. Like, okay, I can understand.

[John]

But you know, that doesn't bother me at all.

[Alex]

I don't know, maybe because I'm the woman. But again, I think it also just depends on your relationship with this person. If you're close enough with your sister that this really hurts your feelings that she's not going to be around, you have to communicate with her and let her know, I really need your support during this time in my life. And I will be there for you during your wedding as well, to stand up there with you and support you. But I don't think just not going to her wedding because she's not going to be around for your birth is not the birth of your baby.

[John]

I personally think this is all petty bullshit.

[Alex]

Yeah, it could be petty depending on your relationship with the person.

[John]

You'll see each other when you see each other.

[Alex]

I don't know. Again, nobody. We've said it before, we'll say it again. Nobody's baby is more important to anyone else except for you. Like you, the baby is going to be the most important to you and that's what matters. Are both parents going to be present? Fabulous. That baby has the love that they need.

[John]

Your sister, you really should just be focusing on you, your baby and your husband. That's right.

[Alex]

Now, I don't know. I just can't imagine like a Sibling or a friend or a family member not being there for the birth of my child and that ruining my relationship with them. Unless we are just, I wonder, a different planet.

[John]

You could ask people who. Who've already had kids, like, in the moment of giving birth, is your first thought, like, who's around that I can share this joy with? Or is it really like, you're. You're really just focused on, like, your relationship and your connection with your baby in that moment?

[Alex]

You know, I've heard that there's two different types of personalities who, like, when you're giving birth, people who want connection. Like, they want to be surrounded by their closest people to feel safe, like a community birth. Because I've seen videos of girls on TikTok giving birth and they have, like, their friends in the room.

[John]

Then they all started doing a TikTok dance afterwards, probably.

[Alex]

And then there's people who just truly want to isolate and, like, have it as small of a room as possible.

[John]

Isolated as fuck.

[Alex]

I'm truly like, lock it off. I don't even want to tell people when we're going in. But it's just like, I think that there's two different types of personalities. So it sounds like your personality is you want that support, and I think you just have to communicate that. But I don't think that you could hold your sister to the standard of her putting her life on pause just because you have this big milestone. And I get that you think that that's the same as her getting married, but did she go to your wedding? You know, like, I don't know. I just. I think that you can't really compare those. Anyway, did we beat this question into the ground or what? Shall I move on? Okay, so I guess this was a new listener and this was just a random question we got, but I feel like it's something important to address, like just moving forward into our future episodes. I listened to your podcast for the first time, and something that stood out to me was how casually you spoke about getting divorced or getting married. I know it's not the end of the world when a couple divorces, but why even get married in the first place? It's about a commitment to your spouse and God, and you do it in front of family and friends. You have your nieces and your nephews looking up to you, and it just breaks my heart that divorce could be the norm for them. Now, I know you've gone through a very tough situation, and those happen all the time, different situations, monetary health, etc, but isn't the whole point of marriage, to tough it out in any kind of situation. You love this person. Is it possible someone really changes that much? You want to go through every stage of life with this person. The good, the bad, the boring. I guess my question is, does it not scare you speaking about divorce so casually that it's something that could just happen?

[John]

No. And also, you don't have to get married in front of God. You can get married in front of Buddha or whatever the. You believe in attempting, like, like keep that opinion to yourself. You can get a, you can get religion or not religion, do whatever you want. I just, that part annoyed me also. No, it's not always the right thing because I, I have had a family member who went through a horrible, horrible experience with her husband who's a piece of. And then the mother in law had the audacity to be like, well, marriage is through thick and thin and be like, well, your son was a piece of shit and we'll burn in hell. The issue, if you believe in God.

[Alex]

Is here, religion aside of the whole marriage situation, people get, don't get married thinking that they're going to get divorced. But some people should not marry the person who they're marrying. And that's the problem is that they get married with rose colored glasses and then they realize, oh God, my, my gosh, this person might not be. For me. A person breaks a vow, is that not reason for divorce? I don't think that there's, I don't think that every situation requires work to work through. I think that there's a lot of situations in which you could say this person is not for me in a situation like this that she's explaining. I think when it's very, it's a very dangerous narrative in marriages that can exhibit abuse or not.

[John]

Apparently not according to her.

[Alex]

No.

[John]

She can get beat up by her husband every other day, but she's gonna stay with him because in the eyes of God, you can't get divorced or whatever the law is.

[Alex]

Or again, like, I just think people have their own situations and reasonings for leaving a person. Divorce is a challenge in itself. It's not a easy path to go down. I think it's the last resort that most people want. But yes, like, I don't, I don't, I'm never, I would never ever judge someone for getting a divorce, for staying. Why would you want to stay in a situation where someone is potentially not willing to.

[John]

Abusive.

[Alex]

They're abusive. And again, you've, you've gone through. How do you know that a lot of these people have not gone through all the, all of the therapy, all of the. I can't even come up with the words. Like they've gone through the counseling, they've gone through all the steps to try to make this relationship work, to save this relations relationship. And they've just, they're just.

[John]

At the end, you have one life to live and you want that person just, just suffer through their whole life.

[Alex]

I hate that, I hate the narrative that like you shouldn't get divorced.

[John]

Scary that you think that that is a scary mental thought to have.

[Alex]

So when we talk about divorce so casually, it's because I don't think number one that people should be getting married so casually. I think when you're choosing a partner.

[John]

Like shouldn't have kid too casually, should get married too casually.

[Alex]

But I think in situations where you are dealing with abuse, you are dealing with liars, infidelity, money, like there's so many reasons why people get divorced. I don't think you should stay miserable. You have an entire life to live. If you have tried and really worked out all of your resources put, you know, I just don't think that you need to stay miserable.

[John]

And that makes me so mad.

[Alex]

I know it came in and I.

[John]

Was like, oh, she's like, she was a shit sandwich like you guys gone like us aside, like you guys, what you've been through, blah blah, blah, like that's very nice. You then drops this thing and like shows her opinion again. That's your opinion. And I know a lot of people have the same opinion as you. We do not agree with that.

[Alex]

And it doesn't scare me speaking so casually about divorce because if it's something that happens, it's because it's probably the right decision for both of us. But I think that we're also very self aware in that like again, the loss that we went through, we can communicate. When you're trying to communicate with a partner who is not self aware or not emotionally regulated or they do not have a high emotional intelligence, stonewall you. Yeah, yeah. Why? Why should you keep hitting that brick wall? And you don't deserve that. Again, I think a lot of times people end up choosing the wrong partner and that's where the divorce comes in. The not that someone necessarily changes overnight, although it's a possibility. I just think that characteristics of a person might reveal themselves later on in a relationship that you didn't recognize before. Or again, rose colored glasses. You just like thought that things would change when you did get Married. And then they don't. Anyway, I don't think divorce is a bad thing at all.

[John]

And we don't take it lightly. It's just common sense. You would think.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, you're being abused. Let me try to work this out. Yeah, he only punched me a couple times, right? He only stole all my Social Security.

[Alex]

No, but John, you made a vow like you're supposed to.

[John]

He only verbally abuses me and his child. And in the in laws, he only doesn't do anything at all.

[Alex]

She might. She might also be a piece of shit. So that's that. Let's get down to sharing a secret. Okay, I'm gonna share the secret with. I'm gonna share the secret with you now. John, are you okay?

[John]

I'm just like.

[Alex]

I'm sorry I annoyed you.

[John]

You didn't annoy me.

[Alex]

I know, but I pulled that question because it annoyed me. And I said, you know what I want to have.

[John]

Not even. I'm not even like against religion. I just hate that term in the eyes of God. Like, you know him specifically, like, you cannot get divorced. And I'm just like, that is horrible. And it's horrible that the gnats trickle down to other poor innocent people who are getting abused or some shit and just think like, oh, this is life. I guess this is. This is my life now forever, because I cannot leave this person. God, that's fucking terrible. Now I'm ready.

[Alex]

And that's how the cycle continues. All right, here's a secret. I've been with my partner since 2016. We got engaged after a year and then did a year of long distance. During that year, I was flying back from Easter break with him and I met someone on the plane who was possibly my soulmate. Nothing happened, but we talked the entire time. And the chemistry was Chef's kiss. He flew to a different airport, but two weeks later, he drove down to my city to visit me. We shamefully hooked up. Not fully, but we made out a bunch. And it was so hard to refrain from doing more. But I still feel so incredibly guilty for kissing someone else. And I've never spoken a word of it to anyone ever. It's been eight years and it still eats at me. I'm hoping telling you guys will help it get off my chest. I should add that we are still not married yet, still engaged after nine years. And we now have a two year old.

[John]

We're not giving advice. This is not advice. Okay, thanks for telling us the secret.

[Alex]

I have to give an opinion on here. Don't don't. Why are you don't get married to this person. You've been engaged for nine years.

[John]

Oh, that's what you're working like why are they obvious?

[Alex]

Obviously this is not the right relationship. You when you are in the right relationship.

[John]

I don't like that you're making a secret into another question. I'm questioned out.

[Alex]

When you're making are in the correct relationship, you don't have eyes for another person to like actively choose to have this man drive to visit you and it's been eating at you for eight years because probably you feel a lost connection.

[John]

You want to get back with them. Yeah, for sure.

[Alex]

Or just like again the guilt. But it's like you're. Why are you still engaged after nine years and like you haven't been married. You have a two year old. Okay. Co parent. I don't think that you should be in this relationship.

[John]

Love Dr. John could give advice but I'm not going to because it's not a question.

[Alex]

You know what? I'll give your advice too. And you're not married so good thing you don't even have to get a divorce. That's it, John.

[John]

Nice.

[Alex]

Yeah. Rex, you go first.

[John]

So my rec is the MPC app, the mobile passport control because we have used that and it has saved us a few times going in line and custom so you could do it on the plane. You take a photo of yourself, say where you're landing, which terminal you're at and we've got to cut the line a lot.

[Alex]

Well, now that you just shared that, we're going to have to just really go get global entry because everyone's going to be using their mobile.

[John]

I would get global. I just like don't remember all my addresses because it asked you all your address in like the last 10 years or something. Like I don't remember. Oh yeah, we've moved so many times.

[Alex]

I don't know.

[John]

Okay. I don't know. What's yours?

[Alex]

My wreck is gonna be sandals St. Vincent. I feel like. Okay, hear me out. I really. It was. I've been telling everyone about it. It really was such a nice time. It was so easy and beautiful and clean and I just think that if you want a little getaway, go there. It really was so lovely.

[John]

Quick and easy. Except for the plane ride back. That was.

[Alex]

Well, that had nothing to do with the resort.

[John]

The only thing I didn't like that the resort did though is they're like they recommend three hour wait for international flights.

[Alex]

Oh my God.

[John]

11Am they picked us up, got to the airport, what, by noon?

[Alex]

Say, in like, two and a half hours.

[John]

Two and a half hours. We're just sitting there because the airport's so small. I was, like, just waiting.

[Alex]

But besides that, Besides that, everything else was great. So if you're looking for a little quick getaway, go there.

[John]

Cool.

[Alex]

Anything else, John?

[John]

No. Guys like subscribe. Email comment. Give it to Me Straight Instagram.

[Alex]

If you want to ask a question, you could email us at Hello, Give it tome straight podcast dot com. You can also ask an anonymous question in our show notes. Follow us on all the socials at Give it to Me Straight podcast. I think that's it. And we'll see you guys next week.

[John]

Ciao. Ciao. Bye.

[Alex]

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