63. Giving you dry spells, threesomes, and male enhancements

Summary

Give It To Me Straight - Episode 63: Dry Spells, Threesomes, and Male Enhancements

Release Date: August 5, 2025

In Episode 63 of Give It To Me Straight, hosts Alex and Jon delve into a myriad of personal and relationship topics, providing unfiltered advice and sharing candid insights from their unique perspectives. This episode navigates through the challenges of post-pregnancy life, parenting philosophies, relationship dynamics, and listener-submitted questions on intimacy and personal issues.

---

Personal Health and Post-Pregnancy Challenges

The episode kicks off with Alex sharing her struggles with weight gain and snoring post-pregnancy. “John, I can't do that right now. I literally 25, 30 pounds,” Alex laments at [00:06]. Jon responds teasingly, prompting a light-hearted yet honest conversation about the physical changes and health issues accompanying pregnancy.

Alex also discusses falling ill soon after her pregnancy, expressing concerns about passing antibodies to her daughter. “I hope that whatever it was, I passed the antibodies down to her because I still... I just can do nothing today,” she shares at [01:17]. Jon emphasizes the importance of a strong immune system, highlighting their commitment to their daughter’s health.

---

Sleep Disturbances and Relationship Strain

Pregnancy-induced sleep issues become a focal point as Alex describes waking up frequently to use the bathroom and dealing with Jon’s snoring. “Our sleeping patterns are so fucked lately, and I'm a light sleeper,” she admits at [05:13]. This leads to a discussion about how sleep disturbances can strain their relationship, with Jon humorously recounting incidents of sleeping on the couch.

Jon remarks, “I have a deviated septum, so maybe that's why,” at [46:25], addressing Alex’s snoring and nasal congestion. The couple reflects on how their altered sleep patterns impact their daily lives and intimacy.

---

Parenting Styles and Balancing Responsibilities

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to differing parenting philosophies. Jon voices his concerns about overly aggressive parenting tactics seen in other families. “I'm just like, what's your thoughts on that? Because I just feel like a kid just needs to be a kid,” he states at [07:11]. Alex concurs, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to pursue activities they are passionate about rather than forcing them into structured sports regimens.

The hosts highlight the potential negative effects of such pressure, including burnout and the loss of joy in activities. “They have the wrong mindset. Like, because I actually hear parents like, my kid, they're going to make money when they're older,” Jon critiques at [07:25].

---

Navigating Car Purchases and Miscommunications

Alex recounts their extended search for a new vehicle, contrasting their swift decision-making on home purchases with the months spent deliberating over cars. “Months looking at different vehicles. And we're like.” at [15:52]. This narrative segues into a humorous yet relatable story about a miscommunication at a dealership, where Alex gets inadvertently locked in the car, leading to comedic tension.

Jon quips, “Something's in the details,” at [17:17], as they reflect on the challenges of coordinating large purchases amidst busy schedules.

---

Listener Q&A: Relationships and Intimacy

The heart of the episode lies in their comprehensive Q&A segment, where Alex and Jon address various listener-submitted concerns about relationships and intimacy.

1. Sex Drive Linked to Mexican Food

   • Question: A listener notes that her wife only desires sex after having Mexican food. “My wife only wants to have sex when we have Mexican for dinner,” she asks at [33:00].
   • Response: Jon humorously suggests, “Maybe there's something in the red kidney beans or something that really gives her energy,” at [34:34], while Alex reassures that such associations can be normal and beneficial for their relationship.

2. Threesomes and Personal Comfort

   • Question: A listener is conflicted about her husband’s desire to introduce threesomes. “I want to back out, but I don't know what to do,” she confides at [37:09].
   • Response: Alex firmly advises, “If it's not something that you want to do or you're comfortable with, why do you have to just give in?” at [37:18], emphasizing the importance of mutual consent and emotional well-being.

3. Boring Routines in Marriage

   • Question: A married couple feels stuck in a monotonous routine, leading to a lack of intimacy. “Our intimate life is also lacking,” the wife expresses at [39:36].
   • Response: Alex suggests scheduling regular date nights and spontaneous activities to rekindle their connection. “Take a date night every two weeks, every two months, do a weekend away,” she recommends at [39:46].

4. Personal Hygiene and Relationship Strain

   • Question: A woman struggles with her boyfriend’s lack of personal hygiene, leading to diminished attraction. “I have a love-hate relationship with my marriage,” she shares at [47:01].
   • Response: Jon bluntly advises, “Tell him to cut his pubes. Tell him to trim his armpits,” at [48:32], while Alex emphasizes the need for open communication and self-respect in relationships.

5. Low Sex Drive During Pregnancy

   • Question: A pregnant woman reports a complete loss of sex drive despite a strong emotional bond with her husband. “I have lost my sex drive completely,” she confesses at [42:46].
   • Response: Alex addresses the hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy and suggests consulting a doctor if the issue persists. “Talk to your doctor because it's most likely a hormone imbalance,” she advises at [54:38].

6. Traumatized Partner Postpartum

   • Question: A listener’s husband is traumatized by witnessing the childbirth, leading to a lack of intimacy. “He never initiates sex, and if I do, he is scared to get near me,” she explains at [56:51].
   • Response: Alex and Jon discuss the importance of empathy, professional counseling, and creating a supportive environment to help heal emotional wounds. “Maybe instead of date nights, go away therapy nights,” Jon suggests at [60:07].

7. Attraction Fading Over Time

   • Question: A woman feels less physically attracted to her husband as she grows more fitness-conscious. “I have found myself with a wandering eye,” she admits at [63:11].
   • Response: Alex emphasizes exploring the emotional connection and addressing underlying relationship issues before attributing the loss of attraction solely to physical changes. “When you start losing attraction to your partner, I think it's because of an emotional connection that's lacking,” she explains at [65:12].

8. Dry Spells in Sexual Relationships

   • Question: A couple is experiencing a sexual dry spell, with sex frequency dropping from daily to once or twice a week. “How do you spark that flame again?” the listener asks at [68:28].
   • Response: Alex and Jon discuss normalizing fluctuations in sexual desire, the importance of addressing emotional intimacy, and the necessity of mutual understanding and effort to reignite passion. “Seasons of life change your energy, your emotion, your libido,” Alex states at [70:07].

---

Product Recommendations and Personal Anecdotes

While the episode prominently features listener questions and personal discussions, Alex and Jon also share their weekly "wrecks"—personal mishaps and humorous anecdotes. Alex talks about encountering undesirable bugs in their home, reflecting her heightened stress levels during late pregnancy. Jon humorously critiques the trend of thin glassware, advocating for sturdier alternatives to prevent breakages.

In a light-hearted segment, Jon mentions their experience with Buffin Muffins, praising their high protein content and delicious flavors. “There are like 26 grams of protein per muffin,” Alex enthuses at [75:36], highlighting their commitment to maintaining a healthy diet amidst busy schedules.

---

Closing Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Alex and Jon reiterating their commitment to providing honest and helpful advice to their listeners. They encourage feedback and engagement, emphasizing the importance of open communication and mutual respect in maintaining healthy relationships.

“We really enjoy the show. I think that you would probably be good on it,” Jon jokes at [21:48], underscoring the hosts' supportive dynamic.

---

Notable Quotes:

• “If it's not something that you want to do or you're comfortable with, why do you have to just give in?” — Alex [37:18]

• “Take a date night every two weeks, every two months, do a weekend away.” — Alex [39:46]

• “Tell him to cut his pubes. Tell him to trim his armpits.” — Jon [48:32]

• “When you start losing attraction to your partner, I think it's because of an emotional connection that's lacking.” — Alex [65:12]

• “Seasons of life change your energy, your emotion, your libido.” — Alex [70:07]

---

Conclusion

Episode 63 of Give It To Me Straight offers a blend of personal anecdotes, honest discussions, and thoughtful advice on navigating the complexities of relationships, health, and parenthood. Alex and Jon's unfiltered approach provides listeners with relatable content and practical solutions, reinforcing the podcast's commitment to delivering straight-talk advice from varied perspectives.

Transcript

[Alex]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[John]

I think when you were in the best shape you were in, you stopped snoring for the most part.

[Alex]

John, I can't do that right now. I literally 25, 30 pounds.

[John]

Not anything shaming Alex during pregnancy. I'm saying after pregnancy, you gotta fix it.

[Alex]

No, John just fat shamed me. And welcome back to Give It To Me Straight. I'm Alex.

[John]

And I'm Jon. And we're your gracious, gracious, gracious.

[Alex]

Oh, wow. So I spoke too soon last week and ta da. I got sick. Literally, ta da.

[John]

I'm miserable.

[Alex]

Was it from you? It had to be.

[John]

You're going to blame someone? Sure.

[Alex]

You're the only person I see.

[John]

I mean, it's really easy to narrow down. You don't leave the house and I leave the house to go to the gym and the grocery store. So one of those two places.

[Alex]

It was literally like I got mad at John for being sick. And then maybe less than 24 hours, 48 hours later, I was like, oh.

[John]

It was like, you get sick so, so much all the time.

[Alex]

You do. I haven't been sick.

[John]

Yeah, yours was, like, really bad. Mine was a couple sniffles because you.

[Alex]

Get sick all the time, so your body is probably just used to it. And mine was like, what is happening? Plus, I just kept writing it off and being like, oh, I'm just pregnant. It's there.

[John]

Make her daughter stronger, like, immune system.

[Alex]

I hope that whatever it was, I passed the antibodies down to her because I still. Today's like, the first day that I'm kind of feeling okay. I. I still feel a little bit shitty. Like, I could just do nothing today.

[John]

But you know what's great about having this podcast?

[Alex]

What?

[John]

We can ask questions and hopefully there's, like, obs and doctors out there. We can get, like, immediate advice. Like, you don't. You can't breathe.

[Alex]

I take my inhaler.

[John]

Is that bad or good?

[Alex]

My. Well, what do you mean?

[John]

It.

[Alex]

By the time that the episode is released, it's what it's like days later.

[John]

Yeah, but you always use your inhaler, so, like, maybe if there's a. A collective of responses, but it's not.

[Alex]

Good for immediate advice. It's good for, like, oh, advice down the road.

[John]

Do you think that's going to make our daughter, like, automatically have asthma because, like, you have weak lungs. She's gonna have weak lungs.

[Alex]

Well, I'm also a carrier of cystic fibrosis, so maybe that's why. But that doesn't mean she will. Because you don't have it.

[John]

Yeah. Before anyone's like, john, yeah, I got tested. I don't have it.

[Alex]

So I guess we're also not siblings, which people are like, do a DNA test. We've done all the genetic testing, you guys. That's the thing. Whenever I see the comments section, it's like, prior to losing Leo, we. I mean, I just had regular testing done. I never did, like, those DNA tests. But then after losing him, we were obviously like, okay, we're going to get all the genetic testing done, make sure we're not related. And we're not. You guys.

[John]

What guys? We're not really.

[Alex]

Disappointing for, you know, some people out there.

[John]

I told you, they're cousins. This band aid is really bothering me. It's not staying on.

[Alex]

Okay. Did you just put it on?

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Well, we're gonna have to say goodbye to this laptop soon. We're retiring. It also got a new one.

[John]

But even when this laptop was brand new, it never really worked. It's kind of annoying.

[Alex]

That's true. This one was a rough one anyway. How was your week, John? Other than hearing me complain about how you got me violently.

[John]

What do we do? What was this week? We had an event. We went to. We went to.

[Alex]

Well, I want to talk about something.

[John]

Good because I don't remember.

[Alex]

I want to talk about something that I guess would normally go into the section, but it's more just like a psa. If you're a line leader at the light, you're the first car in line waiting for the light to turn green. It is your responsibility to pay the fuck attention. It is not my job. Second in line, third job. You need to be focused and ready to go through the light. And again, like, I'm not saying to plow through it as soon as it turns green. Like, obviously make sure that it's safe, but you should not be texting on your phone, looking at emails. That is for positions 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. You're the line leader. It is a big responsibility to be able to.

[John]

I'm just trying to think when was the last time Alex was driving that. She noticed this last week.

[Alex]

That's why I wrote it down. I know that I don't drive ever. I don't drive with you, but I do drive places. I drive still, at least, like, a few times a week, just alone.

[John]

No, you do not. No, you don't. You. If you. If it's once.

[Alex]

John, I noticed that the line leader.

[John]

All the doctor's appointments. I'm driving grocery Store me any errands. Me.

[Alex]

I'm honestly too tired to talk about this.

[John]

You're going into the city. I drop you off at the train station.

[Alex]

Okay. I don't. I honestly don't care.

[John]

I went, boom.

[Alex]

This isn't like a competition. Even if you are the driver, I can still notice the patterns of other drivers on the road.

[John]

Yeah, well, they have to multitask because they're in the car by themselves. You know, you just joke all that.

[Alex]

I'm tired, too.

[John]

I'm tired, too.

[Alex]

No, really, I don't feel like what's going on.

[John]

Our sleeping patterns are so fucked lately, and I'm a light sleeper. Alex is getting up every hour to pee, like, two little syringe drops worth of urine. But every time you wake up, I'm like, I'm waking up and neither one of us are sleeping. You're snoring. I'm sleeping on the couch. It's. Did you sleep on the couch one night? I'm, like, mixing the days up.

[Alex]

I don't know, John. You don't know if I'm driving the car or if sleeping on the couch. So I'm not going to rely on you to be aware of my patterns of life.

[John]

Okay.

[Alex]

But, yes, I did sleep on the couch one night.

[John]

Yeah, I just. Time to. Time for her to come out. You know what I'm saying?

[Alex]

Yeah, I know this has been really difficult on you for you, too? Me too.

[John]

Time for her to come out.

[Alex]

Difficult on me. You're like, well, I get. I.

[John]

These lights are, like, extra bright today. Don't you feel like they're really bright?

[Alex]

I don't know what planet we're on today again. I'm just, like, coming over sickness. But. But, yeah, I think waking up every six minutes to pee just a little drop full is not fun. It's like my bladder feels like I have to pee so bad, but then I actually get up to the bathroom and it's nothing.

[John]

She's probably just kicking you in the bladder. She's like, it's fine.

[Alex]

I'm so grateful for this.

[John]

True. Me too. I really am grateful that you're going through it. Not me, for sure. What else do I got here? Podcast topics. Oh, I need to address my tank top in the last episode. What I found out about that is I probably should trim up my armpit hair a little bit.

[Alex]

I think it's fine. I think it'd be.

[John]

We're not shaving it. I'm saying, like, it's protruding out of my armpit. Where like, that's aggressive. I should probably.

[Alex]

You mean, like, if your armpits are.

[John]

Down, it's still coming out?

[Alex]

It shouldn't be poking out?

[John]

Yeah. What is the rule of thumb on that? Is that, like, does that mean it's too much? You got too much going on.

[Alex]

I've never really looked at armpit hair on dudes. I notice it if you shave it. And then I'm like, that's odd.

[John]

Me, I've never.

[Alex]

Not you. When I say you, sometimes it just means.

[John]

Know that. Okay.

[Alex]

You should.

[John]

Yeah. So my apologies. That was disgusting. Seeing dads trying to get their kids to be pro athletes. I noticed that. I'm seeing a lot of videos lately of parents of toddlers. Like, gotta train them young. Gotta. Gotta train on young. Whether it's golf or basketball or jiu jitsu or all this stuff. And I'm just like, what's your thoughts on that? Because I just. I feel like a kid just needs to be a kid and just enjoy their life and, like, get in the sports. They want to get into sports, but not putting so much pressure on a kid to be good. And I think a lot of times parents have the wrong mindset. Like, because I actually hear parents like, my kid, definitely, they're going to make money when they're older. Like, this is. They're going to do this. And I'm just like, are you living vicariously through your kid?

[Alex]

Yeah. That is what people are doing.

[John]

It's annoying.

[Alex]

It has to be your kid's passion. It has to be what they're interested in doing. Otherwise they burn out. Because I've seen it happen. Like, I remember meeting some people in college who ended up just quitting college sports because it became not fun for them anymore. They just, like, lost the joy of playing that sport because it was just ingrained into them. They had no free time as a kid. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know, but, like, I just feel like now that we're about to step into the parent territory, I truly parent. How the fuck you want. Don't, like, don't abuse your child. But, like, I think everyone, no matter what, is gonna have an opinion, good or bad, no matter what you're gonna do. So if someone. That's how they want to parent their kid, so be it. Your kid's gonna end up in therapy. Even if you're a great parent, your kid will probably still end up in therapy.

[John]

These hardo parents out there are gonna be like, well, I'm teaching my kid discipline. I'm teach responsibility. I'm teaching them how to not quit. I'm like, those are all good things.

[Alex]

No, but I will say that team sports are good for kids.

[John]

No one's talking about team sports. I'm talking about the people that their parents like 24, seven. Like, you got to do this every day, training every day, and they're two years old. Yeah, like, relax. Your kids not the next Tiger woods right now. Let them just like, live their life a little bit.

[Alex]

They're again living vicariously through their, their kid.

[John]

I don't know. I saw this other thing where it says now the new way of parenting. Instead of how, like, Gen Z was parented. Like, the soft approach. It's called, like, around and find out. Or it's like an example. Be like, a mom was telling her kid to, like, stop spraying her in the face with a squirt gun. The kid wouldn't stop, so she took the kid in full clothes and threw him in the pool, you know? Or like you telling your kid to bring a rain jacket to school and they don't want to. It's like, oh, I guess you're walking, walking in the rain.

[Alex]

I think there's a balance.

[John]

Yeah, but you're teaching them, like, they'll never forget that, you know?

[Alex]

I don't know. I mean, I don't want to be. Like, I was beat as a kid, but, like, my mom definitely was not a gentle parent. I would say my parents were not gentle parents. And, like, I turned out you're a.

[John]

Stand up citizen now.

[Alex]

I just, I think nobody knows what the fuck is the right answer. Like, you, you just do what you can. I just, you can lose your mind over judging other people.

[John]

Topics that we should probably use as, like, podcast topics. Sorry, I was just going down the line.

[Alex]

Not in it yet, though. Like, it's hard to really give an opinion when, like, we're not in the trenches.

[John]

I don't have a hard time giving an opinion.

[Alex]

I do, because I'm like, I don't give a. Like, you're doing your best, right?

[John]

Everyone's different.

[Alex]

But, like, you're just like, you're doing this wrong.

[John]

No, I respect that. Sometimes kids need a little kick in the ass, you know, like, to learn. Learn something.

[Alex]

I feel like it's like when people give us opinions on, like, what we do for work and like, oh, it's so easy. It's like, yeah, easy for you to say you're not doing it. Like, yeah, we're not out here like people in the pit saving lives, but it's like don't, don't try to give your opinion in something that you've never in shoes that you've never walked in before. So I can't give my opinion on how parents are gentle parenting or being fuck around and find out parents when we've never done it and we don't know what works like and what works for one kid might not work for another kid personalities are just so different. So I'm not going to. I don't. I also, I'm just too tired for this. Well, we all know it's no surprise that I've been complaining about, you know, sleep problems in the third trimester. But the one thing that I do love about bed and sleep time is our sponsor, Cozy Earth. Cozy Earth's bamboo sheets are temperature regulating, which is unnecessary for an overheated heating pregnant lady. They naturally wick away heat and moisture from your body, helping you sleep several degrees cooler. Cozy Earth sheets have been a game changer for helping me feel more comfortable in bed every night. Their sheets, along with their cuddle blanket make it impossible to get out of bed in the morning. And I don't know about you, but I am the type of person who always needs a blanket. Watching traders cooking around the house, working in bed everywhere. There can never be enough cuddle blankets. The bubble cuddle blanket is intricately woven with ultra soft fibers. Perfect for your bedroom or your living room or like your office. I said. Or your podcast. What's great is that they offer a risk free purchase. You could try them for up to 100 nights of sleep and if you realize that they are not for you, you can return them. But I don't think that you will. They come with a 10 year warranty as well. Can you think about like 10 years from now we'll have a 10 year old. That's actually crazy. 10 years. That's a long time. Head to cozyearth.com and use our code straight S T R A I G H T for 40 off because bed should be more than a place you sleep. It should be a place where you poke your husband in the booty and you want arm scratches every single night. Head to cozyearth.com code straight it's easier.

[John]

To to give opinion now because I'm not talking to someone specifically.

[Alex]

Right, exactly.

[John]

So it's like I could say whatever the fudge I want. I have a podcast. I'm going to say what I want to say.

[Alex]

People are going to be like we should remove mics from people when they say they need to make for sure podcast mics, way more expensive.

[John]

One is, like, right now, like, oh, this is. Don't listen to anything I'm saying. Ever.

[Alex]

My only fear, and I was thinking about this the other day, is when we have our kid, God willing, will we. And I know we'll love our child, but I just. I realize the difference that I have. My reaction, my immediate gut feeling, like my soul, my heart, how I feel when I see a dog versus a human.

[John]

I thought you were gonna say seeing me.

[Alex]

Not everything's about you. When I see a dog, I need it. Like, I need to squish its face, boop its nose, put it in a blender and eat it for breakfast. Because I just love dogs so much. But when I see a kid, I'm just like, hey, hello. I don't know how to converse. And I'm like, we're about to have one. Will I change? There's not many babies that I see that I'm like, wow.

[John]

I think the main takeaway is cute aggression. It will change. Not from, like, acute aggression standpoint, maybe your kids cute. May it's not, but it's more from like a. You're like, training this thing. It's a responsibility. It's like your investment. You're invested in it. What's going to make you more into your own child?

[Alex]

I think I'm not invested into strangers. Dogs. But I love them so much.

[John]

I'm just talking about the kid part. Yeah, I get that. Well, because that's an acute aggression thing. Like, dogs in general are fudgeing cute. Not all kids are cute, but some.

[Alex]

People have cute aggression towards babies. I do not.

[John]

Cute babies. I guess I'm saying, like, if your kid's ugly, like, you're still, like, invested in your kid because you love your kid. And aggression. Cute aggression towards your own kid because you're invested in him or her.

[Alex]

Yeah, Maybe I just hope that I change my outlook on children as a whole because I know we're going to be around them a lot more.

[John]

Yeah, we move back. What else happened this week? I just loved it. What else did we do this week?

[Alex]

Oh, well, we did get a new vehicle. We have been driving one vehicle for the past, I don't know, year, but we've just been putting it off because again, as you guys know from John telling you 1,000 times, I don't drive a lot. And so I just feel like because we work together, we really don't need one. But with another, with a baby on the way, we were like, it's probably important to have two cars just in case there's an emergency. We've been able to work it out with one. But the thing that I've realized about us, we're so quick to decide on homes which feel like a bigger purchase than a vehicle. When it comes to a car, we've spent months.

[John]

I don't know why I know.

[Alex]

Months looking at different vehicles. And we're like. But I feel like maybe it's because it's a depreciating asset. And it's like we always know that. Like, maybe we'll make a profit with a house. If we decide to move with a car. You're always going to lose money on it. Maybe that's why I just think we're.

[John]

Picky because a lot of cars are ugly.

[Alex]

They are ugly.

[John]

And I'm like, it has to be a specific. If I'm getting in this thing, I don't want it to be, oh, you know what?

[Alex]

That's when I drove by myself. I dropped you off at the dealership to do the paperwork, and I was driving home. But, guys, let me just tell you this story.

[John]

But it's how you listen.

[Alex]

No, no, no, you listen. Let me start.

[John]

Because you're gonna initially blame me.

[Alex]

No, John, I'm not. Okay. Because I can understand.

[John]

It's your presentation of the first sentence.

[Alex]

Just listen. Let me talk. So John drives us to this dealership. He's gonna do the paperwork at the dealership. I'm driving the car home, our primary car home. So John gets out. We switch positions. I get into the driver's seat. I waved goodbye to him.

[John]

I'm trying so hard not to say anything right now.

[Alex]

Let me know if you need anything. And I go to drive away, and I'm like, oh, John took the keys. And you've done this before. Like, even if you leave me in the passenger seat, like, you'll turn the car off and take the keys. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm dying.

[John]

I never turn the car off. It shuts off by itself for the hundredth time.

[Alex]

But you take the keys with you, and I'm like, I'm in the car.

[John]

That happens by accident.

[Alex]

Right? Right. And I, Like, I know that that's by accident. On accident. Whatever.

[John]

Something. Something's in the details. I don't remember that. What is. What is the. The. The term. I'm trying to. To say that you're sorry. Something's in the. Like, details are in the details. What the. What's that thing? I'm trying to say, you know what it is? So devil's in the details.

[Alex]

So I'm sitting in the driver's seat. I see John walk away, but I'm like, oh, the car is off. I can't drive away. So John looks at me and he's like, you good? And I'm like, no, because I can't even open the windows. Like, granted, I could have just gotten out of the car, but he was on the other side. So I'm looking at him through the passenger side window, and I'm like, come back. And he's like, what? And I'm like. He's like, roll down the window. I can't roll down the window because John turned off the keys. He has turned off the car. He has the keys.

[John]

Is such a liar. Such.

[Alex]

How is that a lie? So I'm sitting in the driver's seat, and I'm like, I need the keys. And you're still getting frustrated with me. And then I'm like, open the door. Open the door. You open the door. You go, what? And I go, you took the keys and you go, oh. And then you got annoyed with me for being annoyed with you.

[John]

How it started. Alex doesn't understand how she presents her face in your expressions. This all stemmed from I'm walking the door. I turn around because I had to ask her if. I had to ask the dealership if they needed her for anything. And then I walk out. And I was like, hey, you're good. The first thing you do, and if you're watching this, this was her.

[Alex]

Like.

[John]

Piss off at me. Like, I'm like, we're playing charade. So I have no idea what she's. You're losing her mind.

[Alex]

Literally exaggerating.

[John]

I go, no, you did not just wait more. Then. That's what pissed me off.

[Alex]

No, you got it today. You got it.

[John]

You have a tude right off the rip. Like I should know what you're talking about.

[Alex]

You literally. I go, come here. And you go, what? Roll down the window. You got mad because I couldn't roll down the window. You know what? There's two true. There's three sides to every story. My side and your side and the truth.

[John]

What happened an hour. What happened an hour ago? Same thing. You were like, I need the car ID or whatever. Whatever cars need these days. I'm like, I don't have. And you snapped at me right in the beginning, John.

[Alex]

You got me so sick. I don't feel well. I'm eight months pregnant. I'm so tired and also, like, I don't have an attitude. You do. Okay, You're.

[John]

I'll admit I have an attitude afterwards, but it's the initial presentation, because I. Do you think anyone even cares about this?

[Alex]

No.

[John]

Honestly, no one gives a shit about this.

[Alex]

Anyway, so John steals the keys and leaves me in the car. Do not do that to our. Our daughter. Do not leave her in there. You'll go to jail, and then it'll just be me and Kobe.

[John]

I'm not the forgetful one, okay?

[Alex]

That is a lie. Oh, my gosh. I don't know why, but just seeing your face and, like, forgetful. Whatever. Whatever this conversation led to just reminded me of how because I was so sick this. This week I binge watched Traitors, which got me in, like, the spooky vibes. I want a pumpkin candle now.

[John]

Do you think we'd be good on that show?

[Alex]

I know I wouldn't. I just feel like I can't keep a straight face. I think that.

[John]

What did I tell you? I told Alex. I don't even. Alex watched the show. And I go, I know exactly what I would do first. If they put both of us on Traders, I would. I'd be like, let me go to one of the confessional booths first. I'd be like, let me be the first trader so I can vote Alex off. Because if we ever were on the show, it would be after our daughter was born. I'd be like, I need to vote her off so she can go home and take care of our kid.

[Alex]

Yeah, John, stick with the stereotypes where, like, the mom has to, like, be home.

[John]

Well, I'm assuming you do the same thing to me. So we'd fight over.

[Alex]

Didn't say that. You're the one who just said that.

[John]

I'm not sticking with the stereotype. I'm just saying in general. It's a game. I'm here to win. Wow. You made me look like such a piece of. There.

[Alex]

You're the one that said it.

[John]

Okay.

[Alex]

You're the one that said it. No, but I'll still get canceled on the Internet somehow for being a naggy bitch wife.

[John]

Bruce in the pudding.

[Alex]

I just can't. You can't win these days. I'm just. You can't win. But, no, I really. I actually enjoy the show. I think that you would. You would probably be good on it.

[John]

Thanks, Hal. Compliment.

[Alex]

And I'll just cheer you on from home while I'm breastfeeding our daughter.

[John]

I couldn't do that, too. Oh, you could follow up to the last episode. Fun fact, John was right. An army medic vet or something told wrote in the comments, the ice pop does go up someone's ass in a medical emergency if they're having heat exhaustion or whatever.

[Alex]

That's crazy.

[John]

I wonder how.

[Alex]

So I just wonder, like, where do.

[John]

They keep these lightsaber. Lightsaber light. Well, they don't ice lightsaber. It's like. Do you think it's like, this long? How long? If it's got to go in. In to cool you, I'm assuming it's at least how far? Feet.

[Alex]

No way. Yeah, but if it's frozen solid, you don't want something two feet going straight up.

[John]

You're unconscious.

[Alex]

Like, something bendy. But no going back to the show Traders. It got me in, like, the spooky vibe. So I'm very excited for fall. Like, I'm. I'm. I'm already ready for fall. Are you?

[John]

Yeah, it's too hot right now, but I'm excited to, like, do a little family trip, like upstate New York or something. Take a little drive, go apple picking. Looking at pumpkin.

[Alex]

It actually reminded me a little bit, I guess maybe because the show is based in Scotland, it reminded me a little bit of Outlander. Outlander, which we. I don't think that we ever spoke about because this happened when we were taking a break from the podcast. I've never been starstruck in my life.

[John]

Can I just summarize? Because you're gonna take too long. We went to F1. Alex saw Jamie Frazier, actor, and she lost her mind. I'm pretty sure we talked about it.

[Alex]

What does lose your mind mean, John?

[John]

She was like, oh, my God, it's Jamie Frazier or whatever.

[Alex]

Did I say that? Like, no, I didn't. I literally.

[John]

I just got so lightheaded from that laugh, I took everything out of my body.

[Alex]

This is. Do you see me? I'm profusely sweating right now. Okay. The real story is he was walking through the garage, and I saw him, and I lost my breath. I did not say, oh, my God, there's Jamie Frazier. I just grabbed John's hand, and I go.

[John]

And we both grab my hand when you're looking at another guy, but I did.

[Alex]

He was just. I've never had my breath taken away. He was so beautiful in person, but.

[John]

He was all right.

[Alex]

Okay. But, yeah, if your memory is that I yelled at the top of my lungs, let that be your truth, John. We really just have different experiences in life is what I'm realizing.

[John]

Whatever.

[Alex]

Dementia does run in Your family.

[John]

So it's it. Does everyone enjoy me now? Because I'll be in a home soon enough. And this episode is also sponsored by HelloFresh. I find myself spending the most amount of time in two places. At home with my beautiful wife. Alex wrote that. Or in a grocery store.

[Alex]

I didn't write that.

[John]

It seemed like you did. I'm either going through the aisles from a cooking journey or treasure hunting off a grocery list that Alex made like she does every day. It takes up too much time and it's not how I want to spend my summer. Hello. Fresh makes it easy to fit quick home cooked meals into your schedule every week by sending delicious recipes straight to your door. They use high quality ingredients, fresh produce with easy to follow recipe cards. I love that each week we could try new recipes. Last night, what did we have last night? We had that creamy Leban herb pork chops.

[Alex]

Pork chops?

[John]

I obviously didn't make it. Alex did and they were pretty.

[Alex]

You made the other meal though, and it was also delicious.

[John]

Those were good. Those were good meals. Oh, yeah, yeah. I made the balsamic glaze brussels sprout one.

[Alex]

No, I made that.

[John]

Oh, oh, that's right. You made the creamy lemon herb pork chops with balsamic glaze, brussels sprouts and carrots. Yeah, I made like a Thai dish that was really good the other day. Would I have made that though, by myself?

[Alex]

No, probably not.

[John]

Probably not. HelloFresh has also made it even easier to enjoy delicious and healthy meals with their new ready made meals. Heat them up in three minutes and you're back to enjoy your summer break. So they're fully cooked meal their. Their meals. The whole thing's in three minutes.

[Alex]

Super easy. I mean there's the same homemade, fresh, fresh ingredients. Delicious.

[John]

I like that.

[Alex]

They're just more convenient.

[John]

It's actually perfect so you don't have.

[Alex]

To spend your time in the kitchen all summer.

[John]

Guys, don't spend all your time at the grocery store in the kitchen. Take back your summer by signing up for the [e-mail] straight10fm and get 10 free meals with a free item for life. That's hellofresh.com straight10fm for 10 free meals and and free items in every box. One per box with an active subscription. Free meals are applied at discount on the first box. New subscriber members only. Varies by plan.

[Alex]

Oh, wait, I know we're jumping around, but something that made me laugh so hard is when you were on the phone with the dealership for the car for the new car. And the guy goes, this is a.

[John]

Different dealership, not the one I got the car from.

[Alex]

Right, right, right. But you're like, asking about this model of a vehicle. And he goes, all right, yeah, I'll see what we could do. So what car are you currently driving? And because this is going to be our second vehicle, John Hugo, why does that matter?

[John]

I know every single car sales rep is going to be like, well, there's a reason that they do that. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. But you have nothing to do with the car that I'm currently interested in.

[Alex]

Well, the question should be from the dealership is, are you replacing. Are you trading in? Because then you can ask, like, what are you currently driving? Otherwise it's just like, what if you're, like, so invasive. What if you're Jay Leno and you're just adding to your. Not that you are Jay Leno, but what if you are and you're adding to your garage? You know, I just thought it was because we were both like, what? What does that have to do with the.

[John]

I know it's a sales tactic, but I'm like, just answer my initial question first. I didn't. Like, I didn't come on here for you to ask me about my second vehicle. Like, I want to know about this certain vehicle that I gave you the specific VIN for. He's like, I'm looking up this vin. Well, what kind of car? What's your car. Vehicle you're driving? I'm like, it doesn't fucking matter. Tell me what this feels.

[Alex]

I.

[John]

And you lost your mind.

[Alex]

I was laughing so hard because I was expecting you to actually answer. Like, I could tell you were annoyed, but I thought that you were gonna give the actual answer. And you go, I don't know why that's relevant, or like, I don't know what that matters.

[John]

I just don't care anymore.

[Alex]

I just lost it. I was just wheezing.

[John]

But stupid people, stupid questions. And I just. I think I'm getting older. I'm old, crotchety, but just, like, it's wasting time. Wasting time.

[Alex]

You're like, this isn't. We don't need space, small talk. Get to the point. But before we jump into questions, there was something that we experienced last night that was very traumatic for me. And I do want any expert homeowner bug connoisseur to weigh in because we've been dealing with this problem since. What? May we have these, like, house centipedes or are they House millipedes.

[John]

I have no idea.

[Alex]

They're little. They're not little. They're these giant bugs that have. They look like a palm tree. Like, they have a brown palm tree. Like, look at the. Look at the leaves on the palm. On the fake palm plant behind you.

[John]

Similar.

[Alex]

They have, like, 18 million bajillion legs. They look like a clumped up piece of hair, if you didn't know. But they're so fast. They're disgusting. But they range from the size of, like, your thumbnail to your actual.

[John]

Probably your pinky.

[Alex]

My whole pinky. But, like, that's the size of the body. It's disgusting. Anyway, I could deal with a spider. I could deal. I can't deal with roaches. It just depends on the exoskeleton of these insects that really get me. But the legs of these ones, I just can't. So, anyway, we're going to bed last night, and I see one on the wall, and I'm like, oh, no, this is a boy job. John, can you please come kill one of these demon bugs that have been around our house all summer? And you're like, oh, yeah, I got this. You have no strategy when it comes to killing bugs.

[John]

It's called execution. And I did it.

[Alex]

There was no execution. You wind up a T shirt, and instead of just, like, maybe getting a chair or, like, knowing where it's going to go so you can effectively eliminate the bug, you wind up a T shirt like you're fucking lassoing a bull, and you smack it off of the ceiling. And where did it go? Nobody knows. So I'm like, freaking out, obviously, because we're about to go to bed, and now I'm like, this thing is going to crawl.

[John]

It's probably on your side of the bed.

[Alex]

Yeah. And I'm like, great. So then within that time frame, I found another one. And I was like, can you kill this one? I was like, it could.

[John]

Got that one, too. I'm two for two right now.

[Alex]

No, no, no. So he kills this other one that's on the floor, and I'm like, hopefully that was the culprit that you, like, lassoed across the room. I go up to our dresser in the vicinity that you had lassoed, whatever you said lassoed the other one.

[John]

Why did. I feel like this story's taking forever. I killed the bug. Couldn't find it. Alex starts dry heaving.

[Alex]

No, the reason why I started dry heaving was because I pick up a T shirt and then the thud of the body of this thing falls I'm gonna. I'm gonna throw up right now. Just thinking about it falls onto. Onto the dresser. It's missing all. It's missing all of its legs.

[John]

It's crazy to think that people dry. Heave over.

[Alex]

I thought all of its legs, and all I can think of. I'm literally gonna throw up, is his legs. All I can think of are its legs across our bedroom. And I start driving for, like, a solid seven minutes. Maybe I couldn't stop because the visual of this bug's legs all over the room just couldn't get out of my head.

[John]

She was going. I'm like, just go to the toilet.

[Alex]

I didn't have to throw up, though. I just.

[John]

The thought of it, it was literally a bug. Every single leg is gone.

[Alex]

Gone. I just. Even talking about it now makes me sweat. It's just.

[John]

I shut the lights off and go, good night.

[Alex]

I just wish. We need one of those things where you either, like, vacuum them up or whatever, but the fact that its legs are still. I found legs this morning.

[John]

Does the plugin thing that we have, does that kill them?

[Alex]

No, the plug in thing with, like, the light that only attracts, like, flies.

[John]

Oh.

[Alex]

Because they go to light these.

[John]

So I. I don't tell you, but a lot of times I find them down here, like, I'm playing cod or whatever, and I see bugs go up the wall. No, What I kill, I kill them, though.

[Alex]

Why? Why?

[John]

Moist, moist, dark. All right, can we get into questions? Oh, one more thing. Everyone's saying the outlet is a need. We got to get an outlet for. For her leg. All right, her foot. So.

[Alex]

And then we'll keep you posted on if we like it when she's here.

[John]

O W L E T I'll let.

[Alex]

Cool. All right, so I guess we could jump into questions.

[John]

Let's do it.

[Alex]

So I didn't love the thought of bug legs in our bed. And it kind of ruined the mood last night because, you know, even though I was sick, I was still feeling a little frisky. And that's what we're talking about this week. Keeping the flame alive in a relationship. Because sometimes things just get dull, you know?

[John]

I know.

[Alex]

Do you know?

[John]

I don't know.

[Alex]

Me neither. Okay, question one. Do you see me sweating?

[John]

Yeah. I'm just hoping we can get through this episode.

[Alex]

Me too.

[John]

I told Alex we should hold off on doing this podcast till after, baby, but she was like, no, we're committed.

[Alex]

Imagine you guys wait it. Imagine we waited to bring it back until after. It would be way too Much to catch up on. Like, how would I talk about my depressive state?

[John]

I think. I think you were right. I think it was a smart move because once baby's here and to think about adding something else on top of that, I'd be like, no.

[Alex]

Yeah. Plus, I just missed it. I just wanted this one on one time to chat with you and our.

[John]

Friends and our friends on our very. Our special, special friends.

[Alex]

Special friends. All right, let's actually jump into questions.

[John]

Question one.

[Alex]

Hello from San Diego. I've been married for one year and so far things have been great. But there is one thing. My wife only wants to have sex when we have Mexican for dinner. Yes, you heard that right. I've noticed when we have Mexican for dinner, she gets really horny and wants to get it on. Whenever we have anything else for dinner, she isn't as affectionate or as horny. Is this normal? Should I be freaked out? What do you guys think? I don't know. Who turned on by spicy margs and Mexican food?

[John]

I would not be at all. You're talking. You're talking fajitas. I'd be so full of, like. You really want to get into this refi. Refried bean action?

[Alex]

You're thinking of, like, post dinner action. I'm thinking of pre dinner.

[John]

Oh, she, like, pumped like, we're gonna smash, then go get Mexican.

[Alex]

No, it sounds like she's horny after.

[John]

Maybe there's something in, like, the red kidney beans or something that really gives her, like, energy.

[Alex]

Are there red kidney beans?

[John]

Or maybe she's having a couple chips and then slamming margaritas.

[Alex]

Yeah, like, it's like a spicy marg tacos. Like, I just. There's nothing not good about Mexican food. I feel like that would also turn me on.

[John]

I've never seen you turned on after Mexican food.

[Alex]

After. That's what I'm saying. Before. If you're like, tonight we're going to get Mexican.

[John]

Okay, We're.

[Alex]

We are pre dinner.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Fuckers.

[John]

Not after fuckers. We're pre dinner fuckers.

[Alex]

We are. Because after it's just not going to happen.

[John]

I see videos about that all the time. You guys smash beforehand. If it's after, forget about dinner activity.

[Alex]

So anyone who does it after, good for you. That's like another type of energy that we don't bring to a relationship.

[John]

It's like specifically Mexican food.

[Alex]

At least you live in San Diego. I mean, if your wife only got turned on by Mexican food in New York, I mean, you'd be. We haven't found.

[John]

I'll I'll die on this hill. New York has the worst Mexican food.

[Alex]

San Diego has great la. We didn't have good luck finding anything.

[John]

I think the best Mexican food, and no one's going to agree with me, is Virginia.

[Alex]

Stop.

[John]

And North Carolina. I'm talking. They're actually slopped Mexican dishes, like, massive amounts. You're talking wet burrito. You want it 12 inches, you got it. You getting sexual in the windows right there? So good.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Dump, queso, red sauce, any fajita you want. And it's big portions. California, I was like, fuck, man. It's so small and I'm paying like $30. I know everyone says the food trucks.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Are the way to go.

[Alex]

I don't know. I feel like when we were in San Diego, I feel like I always had really good Mexican food there.

[John]

I judge off of ambiance, chips and salsa at the table.

[Alex]

Portion size.

[John]

Portion size, yeah. Also is the salt. The salsa's got to be good. You got to have good salsa.

[Alex]

Mexico City, man.

[John]

I'm so hungry right now.

[Alex]

Mexico City, like, they have just the food there was so good. Anyway, I don't think this is a problem. I think this is great.

[John]

Yeah, I can't help you there.

[Alex]

All right, next question. I'm a normal woman with random but regular fantasies. I'm someone who can think about things and not act on them. One night, my husband and I took things further than just pillow talk. And now he's preparing us to have threesomes. I want to back out, but I don't know what to do. I could see the light in his eyes for this. I want to let him have what he wants. But at what cost is it to me? Is letting him have his fun once going to be enough?

[John]

If it's. I think this is one of those things where it's like, if it's not a hell yeah, it's a hell no.

[Alex]

Like, you have every right to say no in this interaction as well.

[John]

Do you want to keep a relationship after this or.

[Alex]

I just like, if it's not something that you want to do or you're comfortable with, why do you have to just give in? You don't.

[John]

That's a wild thought. I want to please my partner. By what, ruining your mental health?

[Alex]

Yeah. Like, if you are on board. Absolutely. Again, we always say we're not going to yuck someone's yum, but clearly this isn't someone that you're sticking on that a little bit. You want to yuck everyone's yum.

[John]

No, no, no, no. Some yums I'll yuck. It's so funny, our shift. Like, we've been doing this for four years now, and, like, in the beginning, I want to be like, peace and love everywhere, but now I'm like, you know, some things are fucking stupid.

[Alex]

We could tell John, you don't have to give us that disclaimer. We could tell enough.

[John]

I think it was also during Cancel Culture. I'm like, I want to be cool with everyone. But now I'm like, you know what? I'm not.

[Alex]

I mean, Cancel culture is still a thing. I just got canceled.

[John]

Alex, are you going to stop letting people's comments affect your mental health?

[Alex]

I mean, but I did. I just got canceled. I'm just saying, like, it's still a thing, but it doesn't impact me. Look, here I am, still moving forward.

[John]

Still trucking along.

[Alex]

I don't think you need to have a threesome if you don't want to.

[John]

You don't have to. It's okay. It's okay. You're okay. You don't have to be forced in. Anything you don't want to do.

[Alex]

No. And if this is a deal breaker between you and your husband, perhaps.

[John]

Perhaps let it be a deal breaker.

[Alex]

Yeah, like, perhaps reevaluate your relationship.

[John]

Like, if you think he's like, this is really gonna make our relationship better. I know we've never done it before, and I really want to do it and you don't want to, but I'm telling you, this is really going to make it better.

[Alex]

Bye. Next.

[John]

See you. Yeah.

[Alex]

My marriage is on a daily boring routine. My husband, 47, and I, 45, have been together for 23 years and married for 10 with no children. I have a love hate relationship with my marriage because I love being with my husband, just the two of us. But I hate it because of our boring daily lives. I feel like I'm stuck in the same old routine every single day. Work, eat, sleep. We both work full time and rarely have the same days off together. But when we do, we don't do anything. Sometimes I make suggestions, but it doesn't seem to interest him or vice versa. Our intimate life is also lacking. Do you have any advice on how we could get out of this routine?

[John]

That's life?

[Alex]

No, I. I think you just have to actually schedule things and stick to it. Have you heard of, like, the two, two, two analogy?

[John]

No.

[Alex]

Okay. I think it's. It's something like, take a date night every two weeks, every two months, do a weekend away Like a week, like whether that's a Friday to Saturday, whatever, do a weekend and then every two years do a big trip together, like a week long vacation away. If you're not scheduling in time together, it can feel like you're just going with the motions and you get into like a roommate routine.

[John]

It's like the act of initiating to do something that's the issue. Once you're there, it's like a little bit better, but I could see that. Like, let's go on a hike. Fuck no, I don't want to go on a hike. Let's, you know, it's. It's too. It's so easy to say no.

[Alex]

But that's why you just have to schedule it and stick to it. Put it in the calendar, make it a non negotiable. Even if you're both like, oh, we have too much going on, just do it. You'll be happy that you did. Or maybe you won't, but you tried.

[John]

As far as routines, I get it. I mean, routines are good, but at the same time, it really does make things stale. You're like, okay, I'm for the next thing. And then you get in your head, you're like, is this my life?

[Alex]

But think about your best memories or your most memorable memories. It's always when you're out doing something, you know, it's not when you're at home watching TV on a Friday, right? It's when you're out at a concert or when you go to the beach or like you just change up your schedule and you shake it up a little bit. I feel like those are the best times that you remember or look back on. So even if, yeah, like there's again, there's free things that you could do. You don't have kids. It's not like you have to worry about scheduling or like finding childcare. Like you guys have to just prioritize time together, Building in those date nights, building in those weekends away, saving up for a trip, even if that's every five years. Just prioritizing goals with one another. And I think that's a big thing too, is just goals.

[John]

So much easier said than done. Because we're all like that. That's life, right? You get a routine, you have a job, you have a family, and you have to have structure.

[Alex]

Try the two to two routine. Best of luck. I need advice. My husband and I.

[John]

Don't we all, don't we? Don't we all.

[Alex]

That's what we're here for. My husband and I Went through a very hard patch due to him struggling with alcoholism for the first three years of our marriage. But now he is sober and now our marriage is 100 times better in every way, except. Except for one thing. He's not interested in sex at all and sleeps on the couch. I brought it up many times and I fear he is just not attracted to me. But he thinks it has to do with not drinking. He claims to sleep on the couch now out of habit, but I feel like his roommate. No sex is a big thing, but I can understand the low libido. But not sleeping in bed just feels like a slow killer to our marriage. Not sure what to do anymore since he knows my feelings on this subject but chooses to. To still sleep on the couch and not try to fix his sex drive. I try not to take it personally, but it's hard not to. Why doesn't he try to fix this issue?

[John]

The couch thing is weird. Now I want to have sex. Go to the doctor. See where your testosterone's at. Take a pill. There's such a taboo around taking pills. Just take a pill if you need it. Because it's like, not even. Just don't do for you. Do for your partner. And then it's just going to make the relationship better.

[Alex]

That's the problem. Yeah, I mean, it's. It doesn't sound like he's really exhausting. Any options.

[John]

No one's asked you to put a metal rod in your dick. Oh, speaking of that.

[Alex]

Oh, to pump it up. I had a nurse friend who once had a patient who's Alex.

[John]

It's me. I'm the one who told you that.

[Alex]

No, no, no. I had a nurse friend whose patient got. It got infected.

[John]

That was not me.

[Alex]

Yeah, exactly.

[John]

See, Sorry I cut you off.

[Alex]

Thank you.

[John]

But I had a patient guy was like an 80 year old dude go in there. Dick was like, you know, half mass, just like a solid chub. And I had to get him up for like bathing, dressing also. I go, whoa, what's up? And he told me about it. He's like, yeah, I got, you know, I had ed. I got a metal rod put in my dick.

[Alex]

What?

[John]

And it's like a switch or something. And it just like, boop. Raises it up, Brings it down. Raises up, bring it down. Metal rod.

[Alex]

Just for research purposes.

[John]

I'll do it.

[Alex]

I'd be interested.

[John]

I wouldn't do that because it's invasive. It's really invasive.

[Alex]

I wasn't gonna say you should do it. I was just gonna say I would be Interested to see one in real life. Like, the mechanics of it.

[John]

It's like a switch in a sack.

[Alex]

You, like, feel a button.

[John]

I didn't feel this button.

[Alex]

Okay, well, that's not gonna help. This girl could.

[John]

It could.

[Alex]

Well, for this guy, but it's less of his sex drive. It's not that he can't get it up. It's like he just isn't interested.

[John]

There's something going on.

[Alex]

But he's also sleeping on the couch. So I. Number one. This, to me, is mental health. You're like, I sleep on the couch.

[John]

No, I'm thinking about the. The metal rod. I'd be like, maybe when I'm older, metal rods, the way to go.

[Alex]

Just, like, do whatever works for you. If, like, that's what you want. I don't know, though. But is that similar?

[John]

It's on command. I'm like, you'd be waking up right now, click. You want it for 10 minutes, you want it for three minutes, you want it for 30 minutes. Whatever you want, it's there.

[Alex]

And then you just put it back down. Can you still orgasm the same way?

[John]

Who cares about orgasming?

[Alex]

That's the funny.

[John]

Yeah, but the other part is, like, to make sure you're fine, a lot of a guy, like, you know, I just want to make sure you're okay. And it just makes my life, like, so much easier. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

[Alex]

I don't know.

[John]

I need a little more life out of you right now.

[Alex]

I know. I'm. I'm trying. A little more pep in my best.

[John]

Little more pep in the step.

[Alex]

Like, when I can get unlimited amounts of caffeine back into my life. It's over.

[John]

Like, right now, I feel like I'm in overdrive working for both of us, and it's hard.

[Alex]

Yeah. Imagine how I feel all the time when I'm not pregnant.

[John]

As far as back to her, there's things he could do. He's not taking initiative, but maybe it's called depression.

[Alex]

That's what I'm saying. I think this boils down to mental health. You could also bring in a counselor. Like, why are people so against couples therapy? Not saying you are, but, like, you can go to a couples counselor and be like, hey, we're really having these problems with our sex life, our intimacy. He's sleeping on the couch. Because that would annoy me too. My favorite thing is, again, you guys know getting arm scratches from John before I go to sleep, if you leave me in the Middle of the night because I'm snoring. That's none of my business.

[John]

I'm telling you though, you gotta. Once baby's here, you got to go fix that. I don't. I think you have a deviated septum or something.

[Alex]

I already got that fixed.

[John]

But, like, fix it again because I cannot sleep next to you. It's non stop.

[Alex]

I don't think it's the anatomy of my nose anymore. I think. Do you hear the congestion?

[John]

Like you have a lot of pressure. I understand the pregnancy part.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I think when you were in the best shape you were in, you stop snoring for the most part.

[Alex]

I can't do that right now. I'm not sure. 25.

[John]

This is not anything shame alcoholics during pregnancy. I'm saying after pregnancy. You gotta fix it.

[Alex]

No, John just fat shamed me.

[John]

Please, God. No, you did. No, I didn't. Now the proof's in the pudding. I said nothing about right now.

[Alex]

You're done.

[John]

Honestly, this might be a solo podcast.

[Alex]

No. Every time I think that you're done, I end up being done.

[John]

They're like, she's being really mean to him.

[Alex]

I know. Yeah.

[John]

And you are next.

[Alex]

Wash. That's okay. Next question. Did we help? Yeah. Go get a penis rod. I know I have a sweat stash.

[John]

I'm just. Do you want me to tell you or not?

[Alex]

I guess so. Why am I wearing. Why did I wear long sleeves?

[John]

Also you complaining about how hot it is in our room. This chick's wearing a fucking sweatsuit to bed.

[Alex]

Because also, it's like I get the chills and. And then I'm hot too. So it's like hot, cold, hot, cold. What do I do? I wear a long sleeve with shirt, shorts, no pants. I'm struggling, John.

[John]

I got it.

[Alex]

This is really hard for me. Hold my hand. Next question. I've been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years. This relationship is for the long run. But how can I tell him that his personal hygiene, or lack thereof, needs some serious improvement? I didn't realize it was that bad until we moved in together. I hate treating him like he's my toddler, reminding him to do things like brush his teeth, etc. I've tried so many things and we've gotten into fights out of my frustration, but not much seems to change. Lack of personal hygiene is a serious ick for me and a massive turnoff. Over the course of our relationship, I feel like he's gotten very comfortable, which is good. But I miss him making an Effort in his appearance too. You both seem to keep the spark very much alive. Any advice?

[John]

Tell him, tell him he smells. Tell him to cut his pubes. Tell him to trim his armpits.

[Alex]

He has though, and he's not doing it to me. That's like, are you a child?

[John]

I'd be out so fast disrespect thing. Like you don't respect your partner's wishes. That I'll do. Don't you want your partner to be attracted to you also?

[Alex]

I think it's less of a respect and yeah, it's more of a self respect thing, but people don't necessarily know if they're not raised to learn how to keep. Maintain personal hygiene. I guess it's maybe like, I feel like those are some things that are taught. Like, yes, you could learn it over time.

[John]

I don't think it's hard to teach someone to like clean under their armpits. Yeah, I mean, guess you got to do a walkthrough tutorial with him. Grown ass adult. Not cleaning themselves.

[Alex]

I just, I think personal hygiene, for me, that would be. That would.

[John]

That's how Alice got sick.

[Alex]

A deal.

[John]

Oh my God. Now, now I know why. Now I know why you got sick.

[Alex]

Why? Remember the last episode you were talking about how people don't wash their hands?

[John]

I did take a shit at the.

[Alex]

Why?

[John]

If you take a shit, if you hold your dick, wash your fucking hands, I'm going to have a shirt.

[Alex]

So you, you brought those Pee pee poopy germs.

[John]

I wash my hands, but then I guess I'm touching the equipment in there. Grown ass men, geriatrics not washing their fucking hands. Bro, you've been on this earth for 9,000 years. Clean your hands.

[Alex]

And you, I mean like, what am I supposed to do though? Like, I have no control over you touching the machines. That old.

[John]

I also wash my hands before I leave too. I double wash when I leave the gym. I get a sandy wipe, clean my phone, clean my little key card, clean the key fob. Then I go in the bathroom, I wash my hands. One is a quick rinse, then the second one's a solid.

[Alex]

What's crazy? You don't need to prove to us that you have good hygiene, John. We know John used to shower like three times a day when you were an ot. Now you like downed it to. To twice a day. Thank you.

[John]

Sometimes twice. No, no, no. Only. The only time I do twice is like somehow I by accident go to a shower and then I'm like gym. Then I shower Again, yeah.

[Alex]

I mean, personal hygiene for me would be a deal breaker. If someone didn't have good hygiene and they couldn't keep up with it after my suggestions or after having several conversations about it, I'd be like, I gotta go.

[John]

I'm gonna die on this hill. If Benny Blanco ever hears our podcast, for some reason, this guy said, And I've said this before, he's like, I don't have time to take a deep cleaning shower. Then he says he takes showers for two hours. I'm like, bro, I clean my whole. Everything with it. I could. I could shower in four minutes, tops. Everything between my toes, full body, clean.

[Alex]

Sometimes I walk in and you're in the shower and I swear you're trying to scrub your skin off. Your eyes are closed, you look like you're in pain, going so hard.

[John]

What do we use? What is that. What is that thing called?

[Alex]

Like, a sponge net?

[John]

It's like an exfoliator.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Benny Blanco saying he doesn't have time to take a shower. He's probably such a good guy, but, Benny, I will fight you on this hill. Like, you could take a shower every day, dude. Dude, it's not that fucking hard.

[Alex]

It's so interesting that this is, like, your one thing that bothers you.

[John]

I almost met him in la if I went to that thing.

[Alex]

This is your thing that bothers you the most, though, is that Benny Blanco says it. Where did you even see that?

[John]

He was. He was.

[Alex]

Maybe you took it out of context.

[John]

No, no, he was with Selena on, like, some podcast or talk show or something.

[Alex]

But maybe you took that out of context similar to how you took the Travis Kelce thing out of context. Like, he was talking about how he was peachy in the woods because of paparazzi, but you were like, no, he's just pea shy. Like, maybe Benny's talking about, like, you know, he doesn't always have the time to clean under his nails. And you're like, no, no, no, he doesn't shower.

[John]

He did not say that.

[Alex]

All right, well, fun fact, John. Should we move on? I just think my advice here is if this man, this grown adult, cannot get his shit together, this would be a deal breaker for me. You have every right to leave. You're not married. Like, goodbye. Next question. My husband and I have been married for six years, have a one and a half year old, and I'm in the second trimester of my second pregnancy. Our marriage is great, and I've always known he was the one because of how he makes me feel. Every day. But I have lost my sex drive completely. We still kiss, cuddle, hug, spend one on one time together. I still have sex with him and put my best effort to act like I'm into it. And I think he's okay with it. But I literally have no desire for sex anymore. It's almost like I'm asexual. I hope this is temporary, but it's a strange feeling. My love for my husband has only gotten stronger since he became a dad. I'm tired, but not unbearably tired. The desire is just gone. I'm fully loving mom life and it's replaced my sex drive. I know this isn't sustainable and I want to have sex again. Do you have any tips? Do you think this is just a phase or will I just be meh towards any sexual feelings forever?

[John]

Coming from a guy, I'm sure he's fine. That just alone that you're letting him have sex with you. I'm interested to know about. Like, guys can take ED pills. Was there something for women I just like increase.

[Alex]

Yeah. Like when you're pregnant, your hormones are all over the place. I want to say, like, you're in your second trimester generally.

[John]

Like how you just brushed over. Do you know if there is or not?

[Alex]

What I'm saying is, well, she's pregnant, so like she can't take anything anyway.

[John]

That aside, do you actually know if there's something for women?

[Alex]

Oh, well, I mean, if your libido is low as a woman. Yes. Like, I think you do get your hormone levels checked. Like, I think that there are. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[John]

I can't. Hormones. I don't know.

[Alex]

I'm talking to the people, to the doctors in our comment section. Who we will find out.

[John]

Actual doctors.

[Alex]

Because this is not an emergency situation. I think that you can get your levels checked to try to regulate your hormones because that can impact your libido. Like certain birth controls impact your libido. But you are currently pregnant. I know that on average in your second trimester you do get more horny. But I think you also have a 1 1/2 year old. Your hormones are all over the place. Like, you do have to give yourself.

[John]

Yourself grace. Got that? Okay. So you don't know if they.

[Alex]

I just said the libido thing.

[John]

Interesting. That was the main takeaway. Yeah. You're fine. She's fine.

[Alex]

I think if things are still out of whack in a year after you deliver your second, you could talk to your ob.

[John]

Because isn't that how long it takes for your hormones to regulate after pregnancy.

[Alex]

I think one year, two years, until you're truly back to homeostasis.

[John]

Alex will be back one day after, who knows?

[Alex]

Honestly, I'm struggling right now, so. But I think a lot of it has to do with you guys. You guys just are in a different phase of life right now. I don't think that you should put that pressure on yourself. You're not, not feeling it like self grace? Yeah, it's just you got a lot going on, you know? And again, if it, if a lot of time goes by where you feel asexual, then you could look into it. But talk to your doctor because it's most likely a hormone imbalancing.

[John]

So then if it's a hormone imbalance, I'm imbalance. I'm assuming they can give you some sort of medication. I don't know why I'm asking you. God, I wish you knew this because I'm interested.

[Alex]

Are you for real? Like, you're the doctor in this group?

[John]

Not. I can't say I'm not a doctor enough. Don't ask me anything. And it's been so long since I've done any therapy stuff, I don't even remember any.

[Alex]

You are my therapist.

[John]

Okay, next question.

[Alex]

Physical, physically, occupationally.

[John]

Get there. That'd be an insult.

[Alex]

You're my love dog.

[John]

I'm an ot, not a P. I.

[Alex]

Know, but I just mean, like, physically. You give me the therapy that I need.

[John]

OT represent.

[Alex]

Next question. After loads of fertility problems and finally successful ivf, we had our beautiful baby. My husband was in the room with me, supporting me through the delivery. It's now been five months and he is traumatized by what he saw. He never initiates sex, and if I do, he is scared to get near me, thinking he'll hurt me. I've spoken to him about this and he says he could still visualize the doctor stitching me and doesn't want to hurt me. We've tried going on date nights or setting the mood, but nothing works. Mind you, he is otherwise an amazing husband and an incredible father. Currently, our maximum level of affection is cuddling. What can I do to improve our sex life?

[John]

This guy got like an anaconda dick or something. He's like, I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you. Okay, relax. I, I, we're all like four inches, buddy. Chill out.

[Alex]

I don't. Again, like, this is hard to chat about because we haven't gotten there yet, so I can't speak. Speak on postpartum. First off, sex.

[John]

I know some people are like, I want to be the first thing that baby sees when it comes out. I'll tell you this. I'm gonna stay way back until she's in your arms. I don't need to. I don't need to see the whole horrific scene.

[Alex]

I think, though, some people can see that scene and. Or see that beautiful part of life.

[John]

I don't want to see baby coming out, them snipping a cord, them slapping the baby to make sure she's like, what? Cause don't they slap the baby in the ass to make sure that she, like, screams. I just watched a lot of physical abuse at all. Like, I want to see the baby nice and wrapped up in your arms. And that's the first visual I want.

[Alex]

I think you think that there's, like, a lot of separation between me and my vagine. There's not that much.

[John]

If it's a C section, I'm behind the thing. But we don't know what you're doing.

[Alex]

I mean, I'm just gonna. My. My birth plan is to just get out alive with her. 2.

[John]

I'm fine not seeing her turtling anymore.

[Alex]

Why do you got a fist? Why do you gotta make that fist motion like, every time you do? Last week, it was two fingers for the baby. This week it's the fifth.

[John]

Well, based off the pit. It wasn't. It was.

[Alex]

No, it would definitely. It's probably bigger than your fist.

[John]

Honestly, based off of my head, my.

[Alex]

Great. I am so excited. Whatever. Again, birth plan, just both of us survive. I just think that, again, you're only five months out. While this might feel very personal and hurtful to you, I think that men have a completely different experience as well. Seeing you now, like, in this motherly role. I've heard of this before. I feel like if I didn't hear of other people dealing with this, I would be like, oh, my God, he's a pussy. Get over it. You know, like, you didn't go through the trauma, but I know that this is a thing that men deal with as well, and I just think you have to give it time, in addition to just changing your relationship.

[John]

Five months, though, is a lot.

[Alex]

I don't know. I don't. I really don't know. We really don't know.

[John]

When we lost Leo, I just. I felt. I felt like I didn't want to. You know, I didn't know healing process or anything with your body, I'm like. And it wasn't.

[Alex]

You followed my Lead, I would say in that, but in certain situations.

[John]

But the first time I was like.

[Alex]

I was like, yeah.

[John]

I think we both were like, yeah, I don't know each other at the same time. We were going through.

[Alex]

It wasn't fun at all. And it was also very heavily emotional. I think that ours was a little bit different. But I. You guys are also in a new phase of life. You know, I. I want to be like five months is a long time, but is it really that long? I don't know. When you're in the postpartum trenches with a newborn, like is true.

[John]

We don't know.

[Alex]

Five months, a long time to get back to quote unquote normal. Maybe he.

[John]

Either way, is he taking any proactive approach to fixing it or is he just going to keep complaining a bit?

[Alex]

Maybe instead of date nights, go away therapy nights, but spend a weekend away, make a romantic getaway. Maybe that will help.

[John]

Maybe. I. I think it changes scenery. Like bed scenery always helps too.

[Alex]

Just a new bed. Not your own, you mean?

[John]

Yeah, because it's. I think it's a similar analogy to like don't have a TV in your room because like vers living room of hanging out versus sleeping. I don't know. I think there's some truth to that.

[Alex]

The TV in the room part or seeing a new bed?

[John]

Both.

[Alex]

But like going to a new hotel.

[John]

How.

[Alex]

How you're.

[John]

Yeah. The environment, like specific to certain things. Like when I go into bed, it doesn't like turn me on to have sex. It's like. Makes me be like, oh, this is bedtime.

[Alex]

Sleepy time.

[John]

Sleepy time.

[Alex]

Right?

[John]

Yeah. Cool. Next question.

[Alex]

Did we help?

[John]

Yeah. How you said go away and then go. I saw that.

[Alex]

Give it time.

[John]

Go to therapy. Pretty much the staples of every answer we give to every fogging question.

[Alex]

Give it time. Therapy. Try something new. I really do think changing up. Divorce. Yeah. Last resort. I do think changing up the environment is huge when it comes to. To keeping the flame alive but actually committing to it. Are you okay?

[John]

Oh, do I have pit sweat?

[Alex]

Surprisingly, no. Okay. You flex in every episode.

[John]

I don't even know I'm doing it anymore.

[Alex]

I do. Every single one. I think you flexed in the beginning of this episode too.

[John]

Oh, I said. Because I said I won that argument. Boom.

[Alex]

What. What can I do when I win an argument? You don't win arguments, Alex. Next question. Guilt is eating me alive right now. My husband and I have been married for almost three years and have a one year old daughter. I love him so much. He's so respectful of me, so kind to our daughter, the hardest worker and just sacrifices so much for our family. I never considered myself to be someone who cares a ton about how my partner looks. My husband wasn't my on paper type physically, but I really didn't care. Lately though, I have been feeling less and less physically attracted to him. When we do have sex. It feels great and I love being intimate with him, but I just don't find myself being turned on by him like I used to. It's not like it changed after having a baby. It's just been the last couple of months. I've been really trying to dig deep and find the root problem and I think it's that he doesn't do a ton of self care. I've been begging him to work out with me, but he just doesn't have an interest in it. He's always been a skinnier guy and I've never minded that before. But with me becoming more of a gym rat, I find myself drawn to the more toned out, athletic body type. Both for sexual reasons and because it shows discipline and self care. All this said, I have found myself with a wandering eye. I don't do anything, just look at other guys and find myself thinking about them later, which I'm not okay with. I know I have to talk to my husband about this, but he's always been so self conscious about his body and was so happy that I accepted who he was, AKA not a gym guy with tone muscles. So I'm terrified at how hurt he will be when I do tell him. So I guess my question is how would you go about this? Any advice would be wonderful.

[John]

I could see two points. Like I understand where she's coming from. She's. She's taking care of himself, he's not. You have to like elevate each other and him not taking care of himself. I get that. I understand where she's coming from. But you guys have been together so long. Like anyone who's always like something's fading, like when you're that flame that like it's going to burn out a little bit, it's not going to be like how it was when you first got together. And everyone needs to understand that like whatever your relationship is in the beginning, it is not going to be like that in the end. And you need to be with someone more than just like superficial reasons because that's going to fade and die.

[Alex]

You get comfortable with your partner over time. Like when you're with the right one, the butterflies and the uneasy Feelings go away and you feel more at peace and at home. But for this, you're saying that you're not attracted to your husband anymore? I think that that in my experience starts mental. Like it starts from your emotional connection first before physical. Like in all of my relationships, like when exes or, you know, you fluctuate. I don't notice that nor care.

[John]

I never fluctuate first off, okay, but.

[Alex]

My thing is when you.

[John]

How dare you.

[Alex]

When you start losing attraction to your partner, I think it's because of an emotional connection that's lacking generally. So I would, I would explore that first and be like, how are we outside of the physical? Because I think that your body reacts to what, like your brain is missing, if that makes sense. Like, to what you're missing on an emotional level. Like, you might feel like, oh, I'm just.

[John]

Was he ever in shape in the beginning?

[Alex]

She's saying he was just always a, a skinny guy.

[John]

And I guess she was like, he's not someone I normally go after. So I don't know.

[Alex]

I think it has less to do with the physical element of what he looks like and more to do with an emotional thing that's lacking in your relationship.

[John]

Always a gym rat or she's saying I'm in my gym rat phase.

[Alex]

She's saying she's becoming more of one now, which I think is great. Like, I think you just have to keep focusing on what you're doing. You know, we.

[John]

How many questions do we get where it's like, no one's ever going to stay the same through a relationship. And that's when there becomes a divide in the relationship because someone shifts, changes, adapts, grows, whatever, and then they expect the other person to be on their level. And it's like, that's not what you signed up for initially in the relationship. And so. But I get. She's self aware enough. Like she know he was never a gym person ever. So you can express your concerns and find the deeper meaning of why. Why you feel the way you do. But also coming from. Think about where he's coming from too.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's what I mean. I just don't think that you can expect. Just because you are introducing this new change into your life and quote, unquote, bettering yourself in this one category that he needs to do it as well. It's his own journey also. It's like you could lead a horse to water, but like you can't force them to drink. It's like he's going to do what he wants to do. You married him the way that he is. I just, I, I really don't think it's as much as a physical thing as you think it is. I think it's more of an emotional thing. Like, where is that lacking? Like what? And again, you have a one year old, so things have changed a lot in, in the past three years that you guys have been together, been married. So maybe prioritize again, date nights, he could take some change away.

[John]

Again, you are partners holding each other accountable, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Alex]

Like just initiated for what?

[John]

To, to take care of himself a little bit though. I mean, it's never a bad thing to take care of your health, your well being and if your partner's doing it like you also, I'm just devil's advocate. On the flip side, like, I get he should be a little accommodating to like what she wants as well. It's a partnership. You got to meet halfway. You can't just be like, no, I'm not doing anything. And then as I'm bettering myself and you're you, you know, getting worse.

[Alex]

I think there's compromise in every relationship. But again, it's not like he's, he just doesn't have the, the muscles that she's saying that she's attracted to and now she has a wandering eye working out at all.

[John]

I'm just saying he could do a little bit. You know, there's.

[Alex]

Okay. But for the flip side, let's just say he can't work out. He has some ailment that's totally different. But my point is like, he doesn't have to just because she wants him to.

[John]

Is he an, is he able bodied? Is he able to go do something like he could do a little bit.

[Alex]

I get where you're coming from that like, yes, you want a partner who cares about themselves.

[John]

No, a partner who is putting in a little effort into anything. Because again, people are going to change through relationship. Now as partners, you're adapting through life to try to work together as a team. If one person's better than themselves, hopefully the other person's like, well, I'm not going to do what you're doing, but maybe I'll try to do something right.

[Alex]

Well, and maybe that's a conversation you need to have with him and see like, what can he do that he enjoys? John.

[John]

Go John. Thank you. Because what if on the flip side, he's like, you know what, I think you're working out too much. Like, can you chill out a little bit? You're right. I don't. Maybe I don't need to be working out seven days a week. May I do like five times a week, you know, and that's on working together as a team. Okay, next question.

[Alex]

My boyfriend doesn't believe me that it is normal to have dry spells. We've been together for three years and somewhere along the way we started having sex less and less to about once a week or every other week compared to when we first started dating, when it was nearly every day. How do you spark that flame again? And how do I get my boyfriend to understand dry spells are real? He consistently mocks me when I bring up that I want to have sex and says, well, we're in a dry patch in a condescending tone. I feel like he just doesn't understand that I am not always going to have a high spell sex drive.

[John]

Shut up. I know, it's like shut up happens. Dry spells are a thing. Who's. How old are you? I don't know who's having sex every day.

[Alex]

That's why I asked, like, are you in high school or even like early college? I just feel like, who has a time for that?

[John]

Every day.

[Alex]

Every day. Maybe there are consenting adults who do do it every day. Do they work? Do they like get sick from their husbands? Oh, I don't know. I mean again, I just like you ask in the same sentence, how do you spark that flame again? And how do you. You get your boyfriend to understand dry spells are real? I feel like you don't have to figure out how to get this the spark.

[John]

Chill out.

[Alex]

Going again. Yeah. Just be like, how old are we here? But again, if that's something that he's interested in and that's not something that you feel like you can deliver, I'd be like, go, go.

[John]

Honestly, just leave.

[Alex]

Go elsewhere. Best of luck. I have like a job. You're like, I got, I have self care. Yeah, I got going on. Unless like we're just out of.

[John]

We're getting older. Maybe we're getting older.

[Alex]

I feel like once.

[John]

I'm not. We're not getting older. We are. I'm old.

[Alex]

Don't let the old man in. I know, John, but I feel like.

[John]

Don'T let the old man. I have let him in. You have.

[Alex]

What do you think is like a healthy amount to have sex?

[John]

Probably like two. I actually. Fun fact, John. World Health Organization. Some. There was something out. It's like at least twice a week is like the healthy or maybe that's the average of American married couple.

[Alex]

I think in like seasons of life, things just ebb and flow. Sometimes you're going on vacation or it's a certain season and you have a higher libido.

[John]

You shit going on. Yeah.

[Alex]

Or you just had a baby or you're someone you're dealing with.

[John]

Someone died.

[Alex]

Yeah. I just think seasons of life is going to change your energy, your emotion, your libido. And you have to be fluid with that. And you have to. You're. You also want to be with a partner who understands that and doesn't mock you. In a condescending tone like you're adult.

[John]

Also mocking, like, is that really the way to get what you want? Let me be condescending towards you.

[Alex]

Bedroom.

[John]

That make. That would dry me up too.

[Alex]

Dude. Off.

[John]

I know.

[Alex]

Grow up.

[John]

What do you. What do you think he said to her?

[Alex]

She wrote it. That he says, well, we're in a dry patch. In a condescending tone.

[John]

Shut the up. Shut up.

[Alex]

Suck your own dick.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Barry. I don't know what his name is.

[John]

We're in a tribe. You know, it's really gonna make my wife or my girlfriend want to have sex with me. I'm gonna be a smart rocking her. Yeah. What a idiot.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Who thinks that's the way to get a go about getting what you want?

[Alex]

I just think people who actually have struggles in their sex life don't realize that it boils down to your emotional connecting your partner. If your needs are not being met in other areas of your life. And again, it goes both ways.

[John]

Or it could be a hormonal thing.

[Alex]

Yeah. Or it could be a hormonal thing. But I feel like if your partner is not being helpful, if like the mental and physical load keeps falling on you, if you. You're burnt out, whatever, like, of course your sex life is going to be impacted. You have to look at all these different avenues or all these different categories in your life. Fix those, get those. And then all of a sudden it's like you have this energy and you're turned on. Like, I'm always turned on because John is the best partner I've ever had in the world. Stop. Stop helping around the house.

[John]

That's on facts.

[Alex]

If you don't want me to jump your bones.

[John]

I was just thinking that in my head. I'm like, I should stop helping you.

[Alex]

Yeah. But then.

[John]

But you beat me to it.

[Alex]

But then you'd in turn be not happy either.

[John]

It's right, right, right.

[Alex]

Group effort.

[John]

Group effort. Love you. High five. Next question.

[Alex]

That's it perfect? Yeah.

[John]

We made it.

[Alex]

We made it.

[John]

We made it.

[Alex]

Do you have any wrecks for the week, John?

[John]

Wrecks for the week? Wrecks for the week. I do, I do, I do. I think the fad of getting thin glassware needs to just be done. Because even I don't know if there's like, maybe with like cocktails and drinks. There might be something with glassware. But I'm like, thick glass is better. Thin glass. Don't put it in the dishwasher. Don't do it. I'm looking at you. Don't do it. They'll shatter. But I break glasses all the time. By hand cleaning them too.

[Alex]

I don't, I don't know what happens to the glasses. Like, I just don't even have the time. Number one, I'm not drinking out of the thin glasses because those usually are the cocktail glasses. So if you have a current problem with them, that's because you're your own problem. I just, you'd. I don't know. You break the glasses all the time. Whether they're thick, thin. It could be a concrete glass and you would break it.

[John]

Whatever. I'm just saying I don't think it's a fad. It's a fad. It's a thing like, like thin, small glasses so they're not too heavy. Like I want to.

[Alex]

Then don't drink out of those. We have thick glasses.

[John]

Those glasses that are like diamond, you know those old school, like my grandmother.

[Alex]

Yeah, we have some of those.

[John]

Like those, those thick glasses.

[Alex]

Just drink out of those. You don't have to drink out.

[John]

I'm just saying don' Buy thin glass.

[Alex]

But you. But I like them for wine or cocktails when you can make them because they're just nicer. Like, you know how when you're like choosing silverware and you're like, I really like this spoon versus the other spoon. There's some glasses that I just prefer to drink out of. When I'm having a specific drink.

[John]

I feel like I'm gonna, I can bare handed pop one of those glasses in my head.

[Alex]

You can. You don't have to do that though. Like, you know, coffee mugs. Like, there's certain, like I like the big ones and you like the smaller ones because like of the hand.

[John]

I don't like a smaller cup, but I like a big handle on a cup. These little cups with like a finger holder. I'm like, what the fuck? Who wants those?

[Alex]

That's for an espresso. You're just.

[John]

Am I Shooting a gun. That's what it's like.

[Alex]

Well, you're not supposed to, like, drink it over time. Those ones are just like espresso.

[John]

I'm not talking about the teeny cups. There's like, big coffee mugs with a.

[Alex]

Little finger holder aesthetics. I don't know. But I just. My point being is that you don't have to drink out of those thin glasses just because they're there, because then you end up break.

[John]

I get your point. Okay, fine.

[Alex]

My wreck is Buffin Muffins.

[John]

Oh, it's this.

[Alex]

I guess they're a local company, but they ship everywhere. They sent us their muffins. And guys, they are so packed with protein. I mean, of course it's still a treat. Like, you still like carbs, fat, sugar is in it.

[John]

But I've never seen something that has more protein in it as like a. As these muffins.

[Alex]

Right? Like, you're getting a hefty serving of protein. There's like 26 grams of protein per muffin. I think most of the muffins.

[John]

27. That was like 16. It was 26.

[Alex]

26. In the rice Krispie treats, there's 16 grams of protein. So if, like, you're interested in a treat and you're like, I should probably eat some protein, like, these are just. They're so delicious. I really was so impressed. I was expecting them to be a little bit more dry because you think protein.

[John]

There's so many flavors. Probably the. I think they're smart with their, like, wrapping too, because it looks like it.

[Alex]

Was like Pop Tart.

[John]

It was like Pop Tart, but didn't say Pop Tart on it. No, Pop something. But it looks like the Pop Tart brand in the cinnamon one. And it's got the cinnamon top and the strawberry and the sprinkles.

[Alex]

I haven't had one yet that I didn't like.

[John]

Amazing.

[Alex]

So I think if you go online, they. They ship everywhere, but, like, they're just so delicious.

[John]

They're only like 200 calories, but it's a big.

[Alex]

They're more than that. It's like a normal muffin. Like, a normal muffin is like 3 or 400 calories, but again, you get.

[John]

26 grams of protein in them.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know. That's why I'm. Why they're my rack. Yeah, I thought they were.

[John]

That's a good rack. That's good rack.

[Alex]

But hopefully next week, you know, we're. We're on the mend. I'm on the mend.

[John]

On the men. J. Is there a secret?

[Alex]

No, I didn't pull on this week. I'll pull one next week. My secret is that John got me sick. And that's it.

[John]

Well, guys, thank you. Like, subscribe Email comment.

[Alex]

Thank you guys so much for tuning in. If you want to follow us, you can find us at Give it to me straight Podcast everywhere. Pretty much. And if you want to email us, you can reach us at hello it tome straight podcast dot com. And if you want to send us an anonymous note or message, you could do that in our show. Notes.

[John]

Oh, guys. And reviews on itunes, Spotify, all those.

[Alex]

Is itunes still a thing? I feel like. Isn't it just a podcast app?

[John]

I don't know. Apple podcasts? Yeah, yeah. Reviews on there.

[Alex]

Wherever you leave, reviews.

[John]

Give us a review and we'll see you next week.

[Alex]

Yep.

[John]

Ciao. Ciao.

[Alex]

Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.