64. Giving you sibling dynamics, inheritances, and baby names

Summary

Podcast Summary: Give It To Me Straight – Episode 64: Sibling Dynamics, Inheritances, and Baby Names

Release Date: August 12, 2025
Hosts: Alex and John from Dear Media
Title: Giving You Sibling Dynamics, Inheritances, and Baby Names

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Introduction

In Episode 64 of "Give It To Me Straight," hosts Alex and John delve deep into the intricate topics of sibling relationships, inheritance dilemmas, and the sensitive matter of choosing baby names. Through heartfelt discussions and listener-submitted questions, the duo offers unfiltered advice from their unique perspectives, ensuring no stone is left unturned.

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Listener Questions and Discussions

1. Navigating Familial Boundaries with a Disabled Sibling

Question:
"My sister is disabled and lives with my parents. I love her, but she has become quite bitter recently. I want to spend more time with my mom alone but feel guilty for not including my sister. Am I a jerk for setting these boundaries?"
(Timestamp: 33:46)

Discussion:
Alex empathizes with the listener's predicament, highlighting the importance of balancing time between parents and siblings, especially when caregiving is involved. John adds that setting boundaries is not selfish and emphasizes respecting individual needs within the family dynamic.

Notable Quotes:

• John: "You're not a jerk." (33:46)
• Alex: "You deserve a relationship still with your parents." (34:38)

2. The Decision to Have One Child Without Siblings

Question:
"I was an only child and imagined having two kids. After experiencing a loss and having a healthy baby girl, my partner and I feel complete with one child. Financially and personally, we prefer not to have more. Am I being selfish?"
(Timestamp: 35:59)

Discussion:
The hosts discuss societal pressures to have multiple children and affirm that choosing to have one child is entirely valid. They emphasize that a supportive environment and strong networks can compensate for not having siblings, ensuring the child grows up well-rounded.

Notable Quotes:

• Alex: "You can't just have another kid so that your kid has a built-in friend." (37:17)
• John: "You're doing what's best for your mental health." (36:33)

3. Assisting a Brother Facing Financial and Relationship Issues

Question:
"My brother has a challenging personality and is in a strained relationship where his girlfriend controls his earnings. I’ve tried helping him by teaching him business skills, but now I feel my efforts are supporting her. Should I stop helping him?"
(Timestamp: 40:15)

Discussion:
John advises treating the brother as an employee, setting clear boundaries, and focusing solely on his professional development without intertwining personal relationships. Alex concurs, suggesting compartmentalizing business and family matters to maintain objectivity and prevent personal grievances from clouding judgment.

Notable Quotes:

• John: "Block all that other shit out and be like, just focus on what he's doing." (40:40)
• Alex: "It's none of my business what someone does with their finances after being paid." (40:52)

4. Inheritance Controversy Among Siblings

Question:
"My father is leaving an inheritance solely to me, excluding my two siblings due to strained relationships. I feel guilty about not sharing it but don't want to alter our father's wishes. Am I the asshole for keeping the inheritance to myself?"
(Timestamp: 35:01)

Discussion:
Alex and John emphasize that inheritance decisions are ultimately the father's prerogative. They acknowledge the potential for familial rifts but support the listener's right to uphold her father's wishes without guilt.

Notable Quotes:

• John: "You're not an asshole." (45:12)
• Alex: "Just be like, you don't have to have another kid just so that your kid has a built-in friend." (41:27)

5. Refusing to Watch Sister's Child Due to Personal Commitments

Question:
"My sister canceled her daycare plans and now repeatedly asks me to watch her child during my days off. I’ve explained that I have my own children and commitments. How do I say no without sounding like an asshole?"
(Timestamp: 47:44)

Discussion:
The hosts advocate for setting firm boundaries and being honest about personal limitations. They stress that it's acceptable to prioritize one's own family and well-being without feeling guilty for not accommodating additional responsibilities.

Notable Quotes:

• John: "No, you're not a jerk." (50:25)
• Alex: "Your days off should be reserved for you." (49:54)

6. Sibling Conflict Over Baby Names Leading to Estrangement

Question:
"After choosing a baby name that my sister and brother-in-law had also shortlisted, my siblings accused me of stealing the name and cut off all communication. They are now blocking me. Am I the asshole for not changing the name?"
(Timestamp: 55:26)

Discussion:
Alex and John discuss the natural conflicts that can arise from overlapping interests, such as baby names. They argue that names are personal choices and that it’s unreasonable to expect to share the same name without causing tension. They encourage maintaining one’s own decisions without capitulating to sibling pressure.

Notable Quotes:

• John: "Who cares if you share a name?" (59:11)
• Alex: "You don't own someone's name." (60:11)

7. Planning a Vow Renewal Amidst Sibling Scheduling Conflicts

Question:
"I’m planning a vow renewal in Alaska and chose a date that conflicts with my nephew’s baseball tournament, which my sister can’t miss. She’s upset about it, but I need the date to work for most guests. Am I the asshole for prioritizing our convenience?"
(Timestamp: 62:25)

Discussion:
The hosts reaffirm that the couple’s priority should be their own convenience and commitment to their guests. They suggest that it’s acceptable to choose dates based on logistical needs, especially for events in remote locations like Alaska.

Notable Quotes:

• John: "You're not the asshole." (64:58)
• Alex: "Who cares? It’s your day. You do whatever you want." (63:33)

8. Concern Over Brother’s Potential Medical Issues Due to Relationship Problems

Question:
"My brother is in a serious relationship with frequent intimacy issues, possibly due to medical reasons. His girlfriend suspects hormonal imbalances, and a high school rumor suggests he might have an untreated condition. Should I intervene or remain silent?"
(Timestamp: 65:20)

Discussion:
Alex and John agree that such personal medical issues are not the listener’s responsibility. They recommend supporting the sister-in-law to address concerns directly and encourage professional help for the brother without overstepping boundaries.

Notable Quotes:

• John: "That's not on you." (66:20)
• Alex: "This is an issue between your brother and his girlfriend." (68:38)

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Final Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Alex and John provide candid and practical advice, emphasizing the importance of setting healthy boundaries, respecting personal decisions, and maintaining clear communication within familial relationships. Their down-to-earth approach ensures listeners feel supported and empowered to navigate complex family dynamics with confidence.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• John: "You're not a jerk." (33:46)
• Alex: "You deserve a relationship still with your parents." (34:38)
• Alex: "You can't just have another kid so that your kid has a built-in friend." (37:17)
• John: "You're doing what's best for your mental health." (36:33)
• John: "Block all that other shit out and be like, just focus on what he's doing." (40:40)
• Alex: "It's none of my business what someone does with their finances after being paid." (40:52)
• John: "You're not an asshole." (45:12)
• John: "No, you're not a jerk." (50:25)
• Alex: "Your days off should be reserved for you." (49:54)
• John: "Who cares if you share a name?" (59:11)
• Alex: "You don't own someone's name." (60:11)
• John: "You're not the asshole." (64:58)
• Alex: "Who cares? It’s your day. You do whatever you want." (63:33)
• John: "That's not on you." (66:20)
• Alex: "This is an issue between your brother and his girlfriend." (68:38)

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Note: This summary encapsulates the key discussions and advice provided during the episode, offering listeners a comprehensive overview of the topics covered.

Transcript

[Alex]

The following podcast is a Dear media production.

[John]

I also just want you to know you're having your wedding in Alaska. Like, you can't expect anyone to come. I just want to. I just want to add that in there.

[Alex]

Yeah, you're like, I wouldn't want to go.

[John]

I wouldn't go. Your weddings in Alaska. Actually, I would love to go to Alaska.

[Alex]

Okay, John, and welcome back to Give it to Me Straight. I'm Alex.

[John]

And I'm John. And we're your gracious, great gracious host. I don't know why. I don't know why I said it like that. And I'm John.

[Alex]

Well, John, do you want to tell the people?

[John]

Elephant in the room.

[Alex]

If you're viewing? Like, you always have to give that disclaimer. The majority of our listeners are gonna have to watch.

[John]

I don't know. I feel like I'm, you know, talking to people and they see me.

[Alex]

John has been so excited about adding a poster to this wall. Well, again, if you guys join effort, do view on a YouTube or wherever you view. This wall is a little bit like before we put these fake plants and these lights. It is like an optical illusion for your eyeballs. And someone made one comment where they were like, it still hurts my eyeballs. So John was like, let's add some posters. And I was like, let's add posters of Kobe. So you were so excited to get this printed team.

[John]

What a team. You were like. I was like, kobe. You were like, kobe. I'm like, how do we do it? Boom chatgpt.

[Alex]

You know where we took Inspo from, though? We went to a local Italian restaurant, and they had, like, these cute Italian posters. And we're like, oh, why don't we just do, like, an Italian poster? And then we're like, what do we do in it? And at that time, the dog posters were trending, or dog animations were trending. So we were like, listen, it was the.

[John]

The. The cribs, the nursery. With like.

[Alex]

I know, but people were taking pictures of their dogs and asking chat GPT to make something out of them. So we were like, let's do it with Kobe. Do you know what this says in Italian?

[John]

Yeah, it was like, director dog or something like that, right?

[Alex]

Yeah, the canine director.

[John]

I feel like one of my mustache hairs is going in my nose.

[Alex]

I can't see from here.

[John]

Driving crazy.

[Alex]

But I know we're talking about parents living vicariously through their children. Last week, this is me living vicariously. Like, if someone finds this poster in 50 years, they'll be like, wow, Kobe did big things technically.

[John]

He really is taking after his parents. You the director, me the cigar smoker.

[Alex]

Oh yeah.

[John]

Chiller, homie.

[Alex]

Do you see where he's at though?

[John]

John in la.

[Alex]

Yeah, I know, in la. Look, he's so cool.

[John]

I'm so impressed. Let's so you know, it's actually not that hard. What did you have to do initially? Did you just type in dog in chat GPT?

[Alex]

Nobody cancel us because we didn't use a local artist. We weren't even sure if we would like it. So we were like I supposed to.

[John]

See what it looked like?

[Alex]

But yeah, no, I gave the prompt which was like put my. Take this picture of my dog, put him into a vintage Italian style poster, make him a director, like super cool, you know, Hollywood esque style. And this is what we got.

[John]

And you had a couple other photos too, so.

[Alex]

Yeah, but this takes up so much space.

[John]

Well, maybe if everyone. Is this enough you guys? Or do we need more photos around it?

[Alex]

It probably doesn't look center because the lights, you know, are not. I did not center these lights whenever. Moving on. Because people who can't watch.

[John]

Well, you're gonna have to see it also. Cause I'm proud of myself. Let's hold on. So you got the photo and then I was like, well how do you print it? And you told me go to see. So I went online. I did this myself by the way. I'm pretty proud of myself. CVS Online for John. Class for John. CVS Online. You upload your photo and then you could choose the size and they'll print it off for you. Like that's fucking cool.

[Alex]

Welcome to the 21st century.

[John]

I didn't. I mean I didn't know. So. So they printed off and then I went to like art to frame or something and got a frame online.

[Alex]

This is a nice frame.

[John]

It is a nice frame. Um, but the biggest thing was putting the wire on the back because. Because it didn't come like that. So you had to do it yourself. And like using YouTube. We're going to be using YouTube a lot when we have a kid. Because I'm like, I don't know how am I supposed to do it? But this I did a. I bet you don't even know what this is called. An improved clinch knot. It's called a clinch knot, but an improved one. An advanced knot to tie the metal thing to hang them.

[Alex]

Oh, Boy scout John. Proud of you.

[John]

I feel good. I feel like I did not become.

[Alex]

One thing in our house.

[John]

I Know, Alex normally is the one who hangs everything.

[Alex]

Yeah. But what you don't see, though, is all the mistakes behind the paintings or the mirrors that I have. It's like the. So when you and your dad were going to paint the nursery, your mom and I took down one of the mirrors that were hanging, and I looked at it, and I was like, wow, I'm very proud of myself because I know that I hung this one. And there were no holes. Extra holes. It was just the two holes. And I was like, this must have been project, like, 20, where I figured out the solution of how to pre stud finder. Yeah, something like that. But no, usually if you were tilt. Like, if you were to remove that mirror in the guest room, there's probably 30,000 holes behind it.

[John]

Probably. Yeah, for sure. Okay, that's all. I'm happy. You guys let us know if we need more. I feel like it's good with one.

[Alex]

Yeah, it looks great. I mean, it's very random, but whatever. I like how also, most podcasts are like, we're gonna get a sign of our name, and we're like, we're gonna put our dog up there.

[John]

We initially had that A and J sign.

[Alex]

Yeah, but that's not. Give it to me straight.

[John]

Well, it was our. Technically our names.

[Alex]

Well, you know, we're doing something different.

[John]

That's right.

[Alex]

This is our mascot.

[John]

This is our masterpiece. This is my Picasso masterpiece.

[Alex]

You had nothing to do with the actual art of it? Technically, no human.

[John]

I was just project manager of this. Of the frame. Okay, you're weak. What's up? What's going on?

[Alex]

I don't know. I'm just like, baby's getting bigger. I'm getting more uncomfortable. John's questioning why I'm out of breath. As if, like, it's. It's normal. You're like, why are you breathing heavy?

[John]

I'm like, well, no, I'm asking. Because they're like, is it your asthma or.

[Alex]

It's a combination of things. It's between probably recovering from the illness that you gave me last week and growing a child compressing my lungs. There's a lot going on over here.

[John]

This is not me coming at you. I'm just asking you. I'm like, do you need my assistance?

[Alex]

You know how, like, you got on me for, like, how I approach conversations with you, and you're like, it's your face.

[John]

How did I say it for me?

[Alex]

You go, why are you breathing heavy?

[John]

I said, why are you breathing heavy? Is that a problem like that?

[Alex]

The way that you said it was that triggering, accusatory, like, as if it's.

[John]

My, why are you breathing heavy? But, like, is that still. How I'm saying it now is still accusing you guys.

[Alex]

Tell me, am I losing my mind? Or it's just because I'm sensitive and I'm like, shut up, guys.

[John]

I'm also, like, saying in, like, a low tone. So I'm like, if it's a low tone, it means I'm not aggressive, right?

[Alex]

Maybe. Maybe it's the sentence itself. Like, why are you breathing heavy? Like, maybe just say.

[John]

You're emphasizing on. Like, why are you. I'm just saying, why are you breathing heavy?

[Alex]

But, like, it's still just that sentence in general. It's like, why are you the way that you are. Why are you just. Why don't you say, hey, I noticed. Do you need any help? I don't know. Or just. I don't know. Just mind your business.

[John]

Okay, you know what? Well, suffer, then. Whatever.

[Alex]

Obviously, I know I'm breathing heavy, John. It's like, I'm the one who's breathing. I'm the one who's struggling to breathe.

[John]

I just didn't know if this was, like, a scenario where you need the inhaler or not, because, like, you take a while to get to the end point that I was telling you to do in the beginning. You're like, let me just suffer for the next two hours, and then I'll take my.

[Alex]

But that's my own problem.

[John]

Same thing. Now you're wearing a sweatshirt. You were complaining about how hot it was last episode, and I'm like, why are you.

[Alex]

Right now?

[John]

Why are you wearing a sweatshirt? You're like, I'm fine. When you start sweating, you're gonna be like, why am I wearing this?

[Alex]

Well, I'm. I'm fine now. I was chilly upstairs. Today's a colder day. Today was the first day I walked outside, and I was like, ooh, it's crispy out.

[John]

Brutally hot the past couple days.

[Alex]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say this morning, but it was a little crispy this morning. No, no.

[John]

Yeah, it was warm. I mean, it wasn't 98 degrees like, it normally.

[Alex]

No, it was only, like, 89 degrees. Speaking of, fall is among us.

[John]

I'm. I'm ready for it. I'm definitely ready for fall.

[Alex]

I hate to be the one to, like, rush the seasons, but I really can't wait because that will also mean I won't have a child in me anymore. She will be on the outside.

[John]

We're Doing all the things I think more so. So I can close the pool. The pool. The allergy. That's allergy.

[Alex]

Algae.

[John]

Algae that's growing because of how hot it is. I don't know if they're not putting the right chemicals in. I don't know. But it's green. They'll clean the pool.

[Alex]

Still being green.

[John]

Next day, it's green. And then I just like, we should not live in a house you have to take care of. Like, that's not us. I hate it. It's annoying. I don't know how to do anything now. The sprinkler. I went back to look at the pool, and water was shooting out of the ground. I'm like, what is that? What is the water shooting? The tree was filling up with water. And it's like, it's the cost of.

[Alex]

Being a homeowner, John. You move to the burbs, and then all of a sudden, it's like, you have problems that you didn't even think about when you didn't live in the burbs. But that's what. That's what happens. No matter what. No matter where you live, there's gonna be issues. Because even if we were in a condo, you'd be annoyed by, like, our neighbors upstairs. Or, like, something would flood, something would break.

[John]

Yeah, that's why you have an hoa.

[Alex]

You have to take that stuff. I don't know. There. There would be things. You'd be like, there's no privacy here.

[John]

Speaking of which, I need you here between two and five, because that's when the irrigation company's coming to look at the sprinkler. I think it's a busted sprinkler.

[Alex]

Well, don't worry, John, because, you know, I don't drive anywhere. I'll be here. I'll be here doing the work, looking over Kobe. But I did have a good point that I thought of the other day where I was like, whenever I do leave the house, I'm spending money. Even when you leave the house, you're.

[John]

Spending money every time. Yeah.

[Alex]

I'm like, so if anything, it's financially appropriate. It's a fi. It's a smart financial decision for me to not leave the house in any car because I'm saving us money. You're the one spending all the money.

[John]

I mean, I guess even just gas alone, you're driving anywhere.

[Alex]

Gas, groceries. Groceries. Like, even.

[John]

We need a meal prep.

[Alex]

I'm going to use the blank when you're out. Or, like, I don't get little treats God forbid I stop at Home Goods, and I want a pumpkin candle.

[John]

Feels like you're detouring away from just, you know, basic necessities.

[Alex]

Pumpkin candles aren't necessary.

[John]

We need to go to Costco soon, and we need a meal prep. I'm like, we don't have any food in our fridge.

[Alex]

You're making me so tired just thinking of this.

[John]

There's so many things we have to do. Oh, I found a snake in our skimmer.

[Alex]

Are you. Are you a someone who's afraid of snakes?

[John]

Yeah. Well, anything slithering and sliding around, like. Okay, so I didn't tell you earlier. So when we open up, I open up the skimmers. I never know what's going to be in the skimmer at the pool. I open up the. The skimmer, and there's a snake and a frog, and I'm trying to get in there to grab the skimmer hook, and I pulled halfway out. The frog touched me. I fucking yeeted that skimmer thing. Frog goes back in the pool, and then the snake fell right back into the skimmer, but I ended up picking the snake up.

[Alex]

There's a little one. My issue with snakes is not knowing which ones are poisonous in the moment. But I never. Snakes really never bothered me. It's more bugs. Those centipede, millipede, house bugs. Those. I would take a snake 10 times over those things.

[John]

My snake can attack you, but usually they're just, like.

[Alex]

They're scared of you. They're not going to attack you. They're, like, going off on their own. These bugs are just. They're from hell. They're so scary. You know, speaking of spending money and things, we do need to buy a new rug. And that's one thing I want to ask everyone. Where do you find good rugs? Because I don't feel like going shopping in person for a rug. I feel like it's too big. Where are you actually getting your good quality rugs?

[John]

And specifically, like, living room rug? And I don't think we agree on. I want a rug that's, like, soft and comfortable.

[Alex]

We actually have a really nice comfortable rug in our sitting room, and it's from Wayfair, so I should probably just look at their website. See, speaking of Wayfair, these panels are from Wayfair.

[John]

Jesus. You can get everything from Wayfair.

[Alex]

You really can.

[John]

Do they have frames?

[Alex]

Yeah. I'm excited to add a new rug to our living room.

[John]

I like that we're going to meet halfway on that, too, because that rug that we do have that you're talking about from Wayfair. It's. It's thicker, too, which I like. It's soft and comfortable.

[Alex]

Soft. You could sit on it. It's nice. But the issue with the one that we have in our living room now, Kobe has just destroyed it between the dirt between his paws. He's thrown up on it 1,000 times, actually.

[John]

Yeah, he diarrhea once, but it's like.

[Alex]

You'Re not just gonna replace it.

[John]

It's also white. Our whole house is white. We need some more color in the house.

[Alex]

I know. That's why I want to, like, honestly, redo our whole kitchen.

[John]

Yeah, we're not doing that.

[Alex]

So we're gonna get into our sponsor today. Who is Wayfair? You know, it's bittersweet, John. Summer winding down. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't ready for crispy, cool weather and getting back into a routine. Soon we will be thriving, or at least pretending to be, with a little help from Wayfair. Wayfair is our go to for everything home. I honestly think the majority of our furniture is from Wayfair. As we just said. This wall paneling. Wayfair. We have a green tufted couch that I am obsessed with. Wayfair. That cute little outdoor bistro set that we have where I pretend I'm in Europe while I'm drinking coffee. Wayfair. The replacement glasses that John keeps breaking like he's auditioning for a Greek wedding. Also Wayfair. I basically have a standing on those glasses. It's always this time of year when I look around my house, and I'm like, what needs to change? What needs to be updated? I'm refreshing our space so it feels calm and put together, even if we're not. Wayfair makes it so easy. From storage solutions to home decor, it's all there with options for every space and budget, plus free delivery. Even on the big things. No awkward. Will this fit in my trunk? Moments in the parking lot. Just click, ship, and it's done. So if you're like me and ready to get back into a routine, or at least fake one, Wayfair has your back. Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair. Every style, every home. I think we just have to get a new house because I also don't know where to put my books. I was looking in the office the other day, which is gonna become the nursery.

[John]

Donate em.

[Alex]

I know, but hear me out. Is that else with me? I love collecting books because I'm like, I read this. I'm gonna put it on my shelf and like, look at what I read. And it's like a collection.

[John]

I can actually see that. Because the one book I read in my life, I'm like, I read this book. It's in an empty shelf. It's the one book.

[Alex]

And so I just like to look at the books that I own. That or the books that I'm going to read. Like, I just. I like to actually have a book. I should probably try a Kindle. I've just never gotten one. But I just physically, I like to have physical books.

[John]

What do you get? A Kindle. More. No clutter.

[Alex]

One day I envision living in a place like where we have a library.

[John]

Like, unless it's like, where I could smoke a cigar. Like in a mahogany wooden.

[Alex]

That's what I'm saying. Like, so on my vision board, I'm like, I have a Beauty and the Beast library. John could smoke his cigars in there. And it's a collection of all my books. But we don't have space for them since we're turning the office into a nursery. And I'm like, I don't just want to get rid of them. You made me do that in la.

[John]

And then look, you don't even remember them.

[Alex]

No.

[John]

Too much stuff. You've. Alex has, like, laptops and from 20 years ago. I'm like, get rid of it.

[Alex]

The only thing that I am a hoarder of is my technology.

[John]

It's not tech anymore. It's ancient.

[Alex]

Yeah. But I still, like, have my first flip phone.

[John]

Cool. Keep that. You don't need all those wires.

[Alex]

You know the ipod, nanos.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Have that.

[John]

Vintage.

[Alex]

Vintage.

[John]

Can we go back to books for a second? I just. I have such a hard time reading books because I get bored so easy or I fall asleep. And this is why, because I want to talk to you about this. I'm going to dirt out for a minute. There's this game that I'm playing. It's like 10 years old. It's called Subnautica. And what you're doing is.

[Alex]

Okay, John, just real quick, this is not the reason why you have trouble reading books because of this game.

[John]

No, no, no. I'm just saying, like, I am so invested in building my underwater, like, living quarters. I'm like 14,000 meters under the. The sea Level. I'm building stuff and I'm like having to collect materials and like that and evade sharks. And I'm just like, this is so.

[Alex]

This is exposure therapy.

[John]

So interactive. It's so interactive and I have to use my. Because I'm running out of power here. And I'm like, well if my, if my house underwater goes out of power, then how am I going to go get supplies? And you have to really navigate and like learn how to do things. Problem solve, right? Deal with a book you're reading, John.

[Alex]

You could get a problem solving book. There's plenty like puzzles.

[John]

So I like the goosebump books where.

[Alex]

It'S like you choose your own adventure.

[John]

Yeah, let me choose my own path.

[Alex]

Subnautical game or whatever the fuck it's called.

[John]

Subnautica.

[Alex]

Yeah. Do you like. It's shocking to me that you enjoy playing this game because you hate the ocean.

[John]

I know. You're terrifying my fair. And I actually am scared in the game because like it's called. There's like a fear of open water.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

At some points you're in open water and there's like this ghost snake thing follow me and scares the shit out of me. But I'm like, this is the game I want to get our daughter into. You know, like learning like problem solving. Not the scary part, but like learning how to build things.

[Alex]

Do you think that this game is helping you overcome your fear of the ocean?

[John]

I think it's actually making it worse because I'm like, what's behind me 24 7. I'm like my little spaceship. What's that?

[Alex]

What's that? I mean I'm. I'm not saying that gaming isn't good for you. Like I think that there's games that again help your. What are they? What are they?

[John]

Dexterity. It's helping like doctors. Dexterity. Doctors who play games like six hours a week have less. Less. What is it? Fault on them during surgery?

[Alex]

Oh, cuz it works there. Well, is that the word? Yeah.

[John]

Dexterity, fingers, hand, eye coordination, all that.

[Alex]

Okay. Hand eye coordination, but no, I think that there's a place in life where you can have both. You could play your games, but you could also read some books. That's not why you have no attention span.

[John]

I just would love to play that a hundred times more than ever. Reading a book.

[Alex]

I know, but this is like the concern I think with kids growing up.

[John]

Well there. The flip side is games. The endorphin rush that you get from games is like so instant. Which is like it's gonna dull everything else. Probably.

[Alex]

Yeah. But have you ever read a good, really good book that you can't put down?

[John]

Ender's Game.

[Alex]

Oh, really?

[John]

Ender's Game and Baywolf. And those are like the last two books.

[Alex]

You usually choose the wrong books, though. Like, maybe those ones were good for you. But, like, I feel like recently the only things that I see you choose are history or war books. It's like, that's going to put you to sleep no matter what. You got to read what I'm reading.

[John]

I don't want to read about, like, passion. Like some.

[Alex]

I'm not.

[John]

Sex with a girl or something.

[Alex]

I'm not. I feel like you would actually probably like that, though, because I didn't like that series. But the one that I did read recently, I think I gave it as a rack, which was like the. The Housemaid. Housemaid, Yeah. I think you would actually like that.

[John]

I also loved Harry Potter up until the fifth book, and for some reason I just couldn't read it. I guess it got too confusing or something. And I was like, that's it.

[Alex]

It increased on the reading level. You were like, I can't.

[John]

I don't know what I was thinking. In that one book I have upstairs, it's about building the atomic bomb or something like that. And it is so advanced. And the jargon in the book, I'm like, am I an idiot? I'm. It took me two weeks to get through 20 pages. Try to process what the fuck they were talking about.

[Alex]

I mean, like, I think you're fatiguing your brain by. It just has to be entertaining. You know what I mean? Like, you don't have to, like, actually learn anything. It just has to be entertaining.

[John]

Also, I. Talking about sci fi or whatever, I was trying to find a show the other night when you went to bed and I saw the show Falling Skies, I'm like, let me click on it. I clicked on it. The main guy is the doctor from the Pit.

[Alex]

Really?

[John]

Yeah. I didn't get through. I got through maybe two minutes of the episodes. Like, this isn't for me.

[Alex]

I haven't seen him in anything else interesting, though.

[John]

He's such a talented actor.

[Alex]

He really is.

[John]

We should stop talking about. It's like the past three podcast episodes.

[Alex]

We'Ve been talking pit had a really big impact on me. We walked into my OB office yesterday and I was like, I feel like I'm in the pit. Like, I feel like.

[John]

Yeah, it was so crazy.

[Alex]

I feel like just now I like, get it you know, I feel like I understand.

[John]

You're like, I could do this. No.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but it really. I was like, should I change my career? Probably not, but I. I do.

[John]

How she freak out over bugs and blood or anything. You wouldn't be able to. They'd be like, syringe. You pass out.

[Alex]

I. You're right, actually. I would not be able to do well. I could handle my own blood, but seeing someone else or like, when you talk about what happened to your arm, I'm like, I'm gonna pass out.

[John]

That was disgusting. I have something totally irrelevant. We talk about being such a good team, you and I, you know, and we. We. We talk about that all the time. Alex. And this has been ongoing four years, and you just would think she would catch on. Alex, I'm doing your laundry. For the love of God. Your shirts. Put them inside out all the time. She puts them inside out all the time. Every single shirt I take out of the laundry. Like, you could just. You could save me 10 minutes when I do laundry, if you just pull your shirts out. Why do you take them off and then just throw them in the hamper like that?

[Alex]

Save me hours. If you would stop breaking things, because then I have to go and replace them. Like we.

[John]

That is such an unhealthy trait.

[Alex]

You're right there. I'm sorry. I apologize.

[John]

That's called deflection.

[Alex]

No. Yeah, I am. Because I do want to actually deflect. I am sorry, but I did see. I will. I will put in the thought to put them right side out. You also don't have to.

[John]

How hard was that to think of? I'm like, inside out. What is it? Right outside in.

[Alex]

Upside down. No, but. So I. I do apologize because I appreciate that. I appreciate that you do that for me. And.

[John]

Wow. And that's on a healthy relationship.

[Alex]

I mean, you know, there's things I do for you too, but I think it's communicating when something bothers you.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You know, and so not that I'm about to bring up something that you do that bothers me.

[John]

I mean, you can. Maybe I could try to fix it.

[Alex]

No, it just. It reminded me of a question that I saw where it was like, would you rather if you could have either one of these for your. The rest of your life? Have a personal chef to do all of your meals, cook everything. You don't have to think about anything. Or someone to do full. Full cleaning of your house, Laundry, floors, sheets, all of the things.

[John]

Are you asking me?

[Alex]

Yeah. Like which one Would you rather. You would rather a chef?

[John]

Ah, because I like to cook.

[Alex]

I would.

[John]

Well, are they cooking three meals a day for seven days a week?

[Alex]

Everything? Yeah. You don't have to think about making a meal every day. Laundry.

[John]

Our laundry takes me like 20 minutes. I know, but the whole house cleaning, I hate cleaning.

[Alex]

For me, it's. I hate laundry and I hate putting it away. Like, I. I would rather clean the pool for 24 hours than do laundry. And even putting it away, I'm just like putting things on hangers. I'm just like, oh, my gosh. I just.

[John]

I think I still would have to go with meals because if they were like, we're going to calorie count for you and do my whole, like, health thing for me. That takes a. A big weight off your shoulders.

[Alex]

Yeah. I guess the only reason why I still like a private chef, of course, would sound lovely to, like, take care of everything, but I do enjoy cooking still, so.

[John]

Well, you could still cook once in a while, though.

[Alex]

And then if you have the house cleaners doing the dishes also. You know what I mean? I'm just like, no mess. I could cook and then I don't have to deal with that.

[John]

That doesn't take us that long either. I'm just thinking about, like, what takes a while because laundry doesn't take long. You know, Alex and I are so. I don't know how you guys cook meals. We are so efficient when I cook. When we cook, as soon as I'm done with something, we're cleaning it already.

[Alex]

I think because we tag team, like, we're just up each other's assag.

[John]

Team each other.

[Alex]

It really works in all elements of our relationship. I just feel like. But with a kid, I wonder how that dynamic is going to shift because someone's going to have to keep an eye on her.

[John]

That's fine too.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

You're teaching her how the team works, you know?

[Alex]

Right, True. As soon as she can help, we're like, you're. You're joining us in the kitchen, girlfriend.

[John]

She could technically end up being that full time chef or that full time cleaner down the road to earn her keep.

[Alex]

Yeah, that's true. Don't cancel us. We will give her love and shelter. Yeah.

[John]

And we like to shout out our next sponsor, Caraway. So I've been on this little amateur chef journey lately. You might have heard of it, John's Cooking Journey. But here's the thing. Caraway makes me feel like I actually know what I'm doing in the kitchen. I actually Have a lot of Caraway, like stove items, equipment items, and you use them all.

[Alex]

And you do actually you know what you're doing.

[John]

I use all of them all the time.

[Alex]

And you know what you're doing.

[John]

But here's the thing. Caraway makes me feel like I actually know what I'm doing in the kitchen. Their cookware is not only gorgeous to look at, it's also non toxic, which is huge. Cause we're having a baby, right? So I'm not accidentally marinating my stir fry and chemicals. Yay for not poisoning dinner. My personal favorites are the bakeware for sheet pan meals. Easiest cleanup ever, which is true. And their cutting boards make you feel like I should have my own cooking show. For anyone listening. I do. And I'm available. When you prioritize your family, you can also win big. Caraway is running a limited time sweepstakes. After doing a full kitchen renovation, I can tell you firsthand. A full remodel. It's expensive. So the fact that Caraway is giving you a shot at winning a holy 100k in cash.

[Alex]

100K?

[John]

Wow. So they're actually. They're giving 100k away in cash or a complete kitchen redo.

[Alex]

See, John, I feel I just said we should redo our kitchen.

[John]

Wow.

[Alex]

And now Caraway can cover it.

[John]

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[Alex]

What segued us into that? The pit shows. Because we love TV shows. Okay, well, I just finished a show. What was it on? I think Amazon prime called the Better Sister. So good. But it actually got me thinking about sibling dynamics. And we get a lot of questions.

[John]

Jessica Biel.

[Alex]

Yeah. I mean, dude, fire. But you know what I appreciate she had come out and said that her body in that show, she was like this. You cannot maintain this shape 24 7.

[John]

You know, you said Jason Momoa was like your hall Pat. Whoever you like, whatever.

[Alex]

Now yours is Jessica Beal. Mine is also just.

[John]

I can never. I can never. Because it used to be Kate Beckinsale back in the day. And then you asked me a while ago. I'm like, I don't have one. I don't have one. And I think it would be Jessica Biel.

[Alex]

She's hot.

[John]

Because, you know, like, we're closer in age. I feel like we could vibe, you know, just not on a sexual level. You know what I mean?

[Alex]

You would have to fight me for her because I also. Yeah, I also.

[John]

I was like, I think we get along great, too.

[Alex]

Yeah, exactly.

[John]

Our sexual chemistry is.

[Alex]

No, but I mean, great show. Her and Elizabeth Banks in the Better Sister. It.

[John]

Really awesome actress.

[Alex]

Yeah, they were both. It's so wild when you go from watching, like, a. Remember, because I think that's what we started. I was like. We watched an episode of this, like, new show that the acting was so bad. And then you go to a show where it's like, these actors are so good.

[John]

The show you're talking about on Netflix was not bad. It was. Well, it was the writing, cinematography. The writing, the shooting. The one actor was horrible.

[Alex]

It's a combination of all those things that really make a piece of film or TV good. You know, like editing, can it up, music, writing. Anyway, the Better Sister. So today we're talking about. So we're going to give you guys some sibling advice questions that we got.

[John]

Okay. Also, I don't think we give that other. The guy enough credit in that show.

[Alex]

What guy?

[John]

The guy who's balding in the Better Sister. Yeah. Who's dead or whatever.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah, he's great, too.

[John]

That's a spoiler alert. Or not.

[Alex]

I mean, he dies in the first.

[John]

I don't watch. I haven't really watched the show. Yeah, but he's actually a really talented actor. He was in House of Cards and some other stuff. But I don't think he's ever been, like, a main. I don't know. I just think it was really good. I want to give that guy credit.

[Alex]

Everybody. Everybody in that show is great. Fabulous.

[John]

Everybody.

[Alex]

10 out of 10. If I could give you a word, I would. But maybe Kobe will.

[John]

Maybe my dad. My dad can give him. Like, he gave you an award.

[Alex]

Yeah. But maybe Kobe will work with you one day. So I don't think that we've ever really talked about our siblings here. Where. Where do you lie on the sibling? You have a sibling? John, tell us about her. I just like someone. I saw a comment where it was like, wait a minute, I didn't know that Alex had siblings. And I was like, I feel like I've definitely talked about it.

[John]

I don't know. I guess we never talked about that much just because I also don't really know like how much she wants me to say, so I keep it pretty broad. Yeah. I have a sister. She's a couple of years older than me. I think we have a good relationship. Just like any sibling relationship, you know, we both. As soon as we turned 18, I mean, we both were gone.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Doing our own thing, college, all that. I just, I don't think we ever. I never really went back home, like for holidays. It was about it. Pretty independent.

[Alex]

Love your sister so much, I feel.

[John]

So you guys get along really well.

[Alex]

Yeah. I mean, just being able to love your in laws. I feel like it's hitting the in law lottery. I love your family, so I feel very lucky. And I mean, I think you like my family as well. But I'm the middle child, if you can't tell. This is why I strive for attention, is because I just didn't get it growing up. No, no. I grew up in a loving home. But you know, being the middle child has its problems. I. I have an older brother.

[John]

Are you like trying to defend something right now?

[Alex]

Maybe, like, you're fine. No, no, I'm fine. Like I'm really fine. Like therapy. I'm fine. I have an older brother and a younger sister that we're both, I guess, a few years apart. My sister and I are actually close in age. We're 15 months apart. My brother and I are like a year and a half. Two years apart. Two years apart. But anyway, come from a family of three. You come from a family of two. We're about to have one. I guess I just think it's interesting how your relationships, like your siblings are your first real friends growing up. I mean, at least for me they were. And then your dynamic just changes.

[John]

Absolutely not. No, I know.

[Alex]

That's why I was like, John.

[John]

No, no.

[Alex]

Why do you.

[John]

She never wanted to hang out with me as a kid. This is great. Because she can't defend herself at all. I'm just gonna, I guess. No, Jen. My sister's great, actually. Just siblings. Boy, girl is totally different than like girl, girl or boy? Boy. So like when we were growing up, you know, like she had her own friends. I get it. Didn't want hang out with me. But like when we got older, like, because where she Went to college. It was like 20 minutes from where I went to college. So we, that's where we started, like hanging out.

[Alex]

Okay.

[John]

But yeah, I think it just depends. I think with siblings, and I know we're going to go into the questions and I think this is really good because siblings, they're probably not your first friends. I mean, they could be no like.

[Alex]

But they, they're your first companion.

[John]

They teach you first. Sharing all that.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I don't want to dive into because I know what we're talking about.

[Alex]

But yeah, I just think it's interesting how from family to family, sibling relationships can change so much or just be so different. Like, some people just don't talk to their siblings, Some people are truly their siblings, best friends. Some people have awkwardly close relationships with their siblings, some people don't. Like. I just think the dynamics are how you could grow up in the same home, but you have wildly different experiences growing up as siblings and then you turn out to be just such different people as.

[John]

Well, you brought that up a while ago, which I guess makes sense too. It's like how you were raised is completely different than how your sibling was raised or thought they were raised. Or like their relationship with their parents is different than your relationship with your parents, which I never thought I'd be like, wouldn't it be the same?

[Alex]

Well, I think overall you're like, well, we both grew up in the same house, but I think no matter what, relationships are going to be different based off of your needs, what you do, your personality, what your. Where your parents are in their life, like birth order, when, who your parents were when they had you age. Like, there's just so many factors that play into your experience as a kid, like being raised. Like, I think it's impossible that you each had an exact same experience with your parents growing up. Yeah. So we'll get into it with these questions and we'll start with question number one. My sister is disabled and lives with my parents. I love her, but in the last couple of years she has become quite bitter to be around. I would really love to do more things with just my mom because I feel like in a normal life people aren't always with their siblings, but I always feel like such a jerk for not inviting my sister. Am I a jerk or is it okay to set some boundaries?

[John]

No, you said it right. It makes sense. Normally you have your own time with your parents. Like that should be okay. I don't know. Disability wise, is it a cognitive disability? Is she. Is it just physical? Because Cognitive is different. I don't know how you're going to be able to navigate that. If your sister feels a type of way, I. I'm not sure physical wise, you should be able to like talk to her about it.

[Alex]

I think this is something that isn't super spoken about and maybe it is with families who have disabled children or disabled siblings that having. And not. Not that again, not that it's a bad thing, but having a child with disabilities in a family does impact the relationship that the kids have with their parents who aren't disabled. Does that kind of make sense? Because I feel like the disabled child does need more attention and it. And you know, some also.

[John]

Are you even saying it right? Like I don't even know what are correct terminology anyway, so please don't rip us a new asshole. Is it like special needs? I don't know what the term.

[Alex]

Right. But anyway, my point being is that you do deserve a relationship still with your parents. And I would imagine from a caretaker perspective that your mom probably wants some time for her own with you as well, you know.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Like I feel like 24 7. That's also a lot on your parents.

[John]

What is your. Have you. I wonder, what is your parents like? You can answer me. Like, have you spoke to your parents about this?

[Alex]

We're live, John. Remember that.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure your mom wants to spend one on one time.

[Alex]

Also, I can understand feeling a little bit guilty for not wanting to include your sister, but you could do someone.

[John]

Just her, you know, be like, I'm gonna do something mom today, I'm gonna do something. Just you tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, but no, don't feel guilty. You're.

[Alex]

No, you're not a jerk.

[John]

No.

[Alex]

Yeah. Next question. I was an only child and imagined my family with two kids. Then I had a loss, followed by a healthy baby girl who is now turning five. Many people around me are having their second, but I'm just too exhausted to want another. Both my partner and I feel complete with one kid. Not to mention it's so much better financially considering that we love to travel. I never had siblings, so I'm not sure what I missed out on. But as people who grew up with siblings, do you think I'm being selfish and not thinking about my daughter?

[John]

No. What it what a topic because we have this conversation all the time too. And like when branching off from what you're asking us, my TikTok algorithm, my Instagram algorithm is a lot of like single parents of one child and just asking like, is this going to be okay. And then a lot of times in the comments, I see single kids being like, I had the best time, or some say, like, I wish I had a sibling. You got to do what's best for you and your mental health. You know, if you're raising that kid the best you can and, and you're, you're being a good parent, like, everything will be fine.

[Alex]

I also think whatever, like whatever life you choose will be the right decision because you could make light of one path or the other path, you know, like no matter what, you're gonna figure out what works for you. But one person's experience having one kid or coming from siblings is not gonna be the same as someone else's. So it's really hard to compare when so many different circumstances are in play here. You know, like, so, so again, someone might love their sibling and be adult friends. Another person might not talk to their sibling. You just can't rely on your kids. You can't have another kid just so that your kid has a built in friend.

[John]

Yeah, that's, I don't agree with that. That's a weird mindset to have.

[Alex]

And you just have to do what's best for you. And it sounds like your gut is telling you that you're not capable to have another kid. I feel like in a world in.

[John]

Which we're also being biased because we only want. I know for a fact that I would only like to have one living child.

[Alex]

Well, technically we have two kids. One is heaven. Exactly. So if people try to give a shit about that. But again, I also just say like, who knows? Never like close any door. But you're like, I'm closing and I'm.

[John]

Getting, I'm getting this activated for sure. Well, I think what you said the other day about back in the day everyone was having multiple kids and it's to whatever. Like, I don't think there's enough information on just having one kid and like outcomes and how they are. But like, like financial freedom, you're, you're doing, you have more time, your own personal time. It seems like a lot of benefits of having one child, your kid, like learning life skills, get him hanging out with kids early. Like, you got to have a good network of like family and friends.

[Alex]

I think it really depends on that too. Like what's the environment that they're growing up in? Because I've met only kids who were like, I was really bored my whole life or I was only surrounded by adults. And then I've met other only children who are Like, I fucking loved it. Like, I felt completely loved all the time. Spoiled. And I had so many cousins. I feel like that's where, you know, that works in our favor. Where we can kind of think about only having one kid is because we're surrounded by so much family and so many little ones. But, I don't know, I just think you have to do what's best for you. You can't just do it because other people are doing it.

[John]

Right.

[Alex]

I think a lot of people just have a multiple kids because that's just the thing that you think you're supposed to do.

[John]

Not everyone. Not everyone, but a lot of people. Like, I just feel like it's not. I think people just make quick decision on having a kid. Like, I. I think we've thought about it so much and then beat it.

[Alex]

Into the ground, even having one.

[John]

Like, some people are just like, yeah, whatever.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I'm like, yo, that's at least 18 years of.

[Alex]

@ least. At least children live at home in their 30s.

[John]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Alex]

I don't know, I just think that, like, you can't draw parallels completely. Some people have eight kids and they're thriving. Some people want one like you. It just depends on your family dynamic.

[John]

And what's your gut. Yeah.

[Alex]

Yeah. Next question. My younger brother didn't finish school and struggled to find work. I own a business and offered to teach him, and he's doing well. Once his girlfriend, who is now three months pregnant, saw he was making good money, she quit her waitressing job and started asking for way more than she ever did before. Now she stays in bed watching TikTok all day, blames hormones for constant arguments, and controls all the money he earns. I want to help my brother build a future, but I feel like my time and effort are just going to support her. Am I the asshole for wanting to stop helping him because of this?

[John]

I think you need to look at your. Is he working for her? You know, it's like you. I think you need to look at your brother now as an employee, right? Block all that other shit out and be like, just focus on what he's doing and setting up like you would with any employee. Like, oh, you're. You're doing, you're hitting, you're checking all these boxes, raise here, whatever, you know, because if you start diving into the personal aspect of it, you're going to drive yourself crazy.

[Alex]

It's really hard to not compartmentalize, but that's what you have to do with your relationship when, like, you bring in family to working dynamic. What he does with his money now. None of your business. And it's annoying.

[John]

So hard. I know, I know.

[Alex]

But like, because we've felt similarly in that, like paying a family member, Remember we've had this conversation where, like bringing on a family member, we know, like, those funds will get funneled to another family member who's likely not going to be doing anything. And so it's hard. But I'm like, that is none of my business what someone does with their finances after being paid. None of my business. So you do have to separate in that way. It's a personal choice. If you really want to, like, stop helping him, like, whatever, but I don't know that that's going to necessarily help your relationship.

[John]

Is he a good employee? Is he helping you out? Like, I would just weigh the pros and cons. But that's the thing with hiring family. That's a. That's tough because you're involved, you're invested personally, right?

[Alex]

Yeah, but I think you gave a good point. Just look at him as if he's just a regular employee.

[John]

You have to.

[Alex]

Next question. I want to get your feedback on a dilemma that I'm having. My father recently told me that he is leaving me an inheritance, but nothing for my siblings. We are a total of three siblings, I being the youngest. His reasoning for this was that he felt that I was the only one who tried to salvage our relationship and really understood him. My brother and sister have cut him off and the last I heard, my brother had gotten into a physical altercation with him. He wasn't the greatest dad. No physical abuse, but a lot of emotional and psychological damage growing up until my parents got a divorce. We are now all grown and I suppose salvaging our relationship was a combination of my savior complex and my desire to have a father while I still can. I know he doesn't have a lot of time left and I'm feeling like a little bit of an asshole for not wanting to split it with my siblings. I know my brother will hold it against me, we don't talk. And my sister, who I'm closer to, left my dad in the dust, which led me developing a little bit of resentment towards her because I ended up having to carry the burden of dealing with him, taking care of him while he's dying, sick, mediate my parents, marriage, etc. Am I the asshole for not wanting to split it?

[John]

I like it. She goes, he wasn't physical abusive, and then also my brother and him got in a physical Altercation?

[Alex]

Yeah. Sounds like something's physical. I also like how she goes. I know my brother will hold it against me. We don't talk. Who cares then? If you don't talk to your brother.

[John]

Who cares if you have this. What was the complex called?

[Alex]

Savior.

[John]

Savior complex. You're going to end up having the savior complex with your sister and brother. So if you want to make it easier, fucking split it if that's what's.

[Alex]

Going to help your conscience. But, like, I am. Like, who cares? I also think to just wait and see what happens. Like, your dad's not dead yet. Like, cross his bridge when you get there type of thing. People can change their minds, they can change their will, Relationship dynamics change, you know, like, I don't know how close he is to passing away, but in the movie Knives out, the entire family of, like, the patriarch of the of the family, they all think that they're getting a piece of the estate, like the multi millions, and then he ends up leaving it to his caretaker, the nurse, remember? And they all, like, lose their minds. Your dad can do whatever he wants. Like, it's his choice, really. And then you could do whatever you want, obviously, after you get the inheritance. But I wouldn't feel guilty for your dad's choices, you know, just like in Knives out, she's like, you guys were all assholes, and that's why he didn't leave it to you.

[John]

Again, it just depends. Do you want to have a relationship with your siblings or not? Because if you don't, I know they're going to be like, fudge you and cut you out.

[Alex]

Do they have to know that it went to her? Maybe he left it to.

[John]

Well, I don't know. Do they know about the inheritance? I'm sure they're going to figure something out down the road. When you're, like, driving a nicer car.

[Alex]

Maybe it's not that much.

[John]

Okay, so just be so subtle that you just invest all that money and say you didn't get anything.

[Alex]

It's like when people say, like, if I won the lottery, you wouldn't know, but there would be signs. You know, we would be ordering pizza to our house every single day.

[John]

It really just depends on what you want out of the relationship with your siblings. If you don't give a. They're going to find out. There's no way they're not going to find out. When your dad passes away and they all show up and they're like, do you get to keep a disclosure? Like, you don't let them know that I'm getting the money.

[Alex]

I don't know. The thing is, too. It's like she's the one caring for her dying father, so you.

[John]

I'm not saying she's in the wrong at all. First, I guess I should have said that. I get that you're the caregiver. You're the one making the effort. Whatever. Whatever. You getting the money. I understand. It just depends on what you want. Down the road, your siblings are going to find out that you got the inheritance. And if they don't get a cut of that, and I'm not saying they're right at all, but they're going to feel some type of way, and it's going to make it even harder to have a relationship with them.

[Alex]

But it's justified.

[John]

Yeah, I know. I'm not saying it's not.

[Alex]

I say keep it for yourself. You already don't have a great relationship with your brother or your sister. I just think, who cares? You don't have to have that conversation with them either. Like, about. About the inheritance.

[John]

That's what I'm saying. You don't know that. Yeah, because do all the siblings come to the office and the. And the like in head of state and is like, okay, yeah, Barbara, you get all the inheritance. Billy, you get nothing. Sienna. Sorry. All right, we beat this question on the ground. Next question.

[Alex]

Take it, Take it.

[John]

Agree to disagree or. I don't know.

[Alex]

I don't know.

[John]

I guess we agree. We're just giving you your options.

[Alex]

Well, you just think that it's going to create a rift down the road. I think there's already a riff. So as John would say, burn the ship.

[John]

You're not adding in her savior complex. That's. That's.

[Alex]

But she's the one who's saying, like, am I the asshole for not wanting to split it?

[John]

No, you're not. No.

[Alex]

Yeah. Next question. My sister was recently looking for childcare, and my friend just so happened to be starting a daycare. I recommended my sister reach out to her. They met and discussed pricing and details, and my sister verbally committed to sending her kids to this daycare. A few weeks after this, my sister texted me that she had decided to not use my friend's daycare because she didn't feel comfortable having someone else she didn't know watch her child. I was annoyed because she had already committed to my friend and this is a new business. But I could also sympathize because I'm a working mom who has had to trust daycares with my Children, and it is uncomfortable. However, she has now asked me several times to watch her daughter while she works. I work in healthcare. I only work three days a week, but I rotate days and nights. I also have two children, so I like to enjoy my days off. I don't think it's fair for her to ask me to watch her kid even if I'm not working, especially when there is another option. She did not say it was an issue of payment and assured me it was just for her own comfort. I don't feel like it's fair for her to expect me to use my time off to watch her kid. And how do I tell her no without sounding like an asshole?

[John]

No. No, you tell her no. You fudgeing did this to yourself. I don't owe you shit. No one owes you a fucking thing. Now, what is wrong with people? I. I don't know this person, and I really, really. I'm going to inconvenience you, and you.

[Alex]

Watch my kids because I'm not comfortable. And it's not a money thing.

[John]

You.

[Alex]

Yeah, the thing is, what she's not realizing is that child care is a job. There's a reason that it's. People get paid to do it. Your days off with your own children, you can do whatever you want, but.

[John]

They'Re your niece and nephews. You want to spend time. No, you pay me. Pay someone else to do it. That is ridiculous.

[Alex]

But if. If it even was paid. Let's say the sister is like, okay, I will pay you. If it's about the money, like, I'll. I'll give you.

[John]

No, I still don't want to do it. I never said I wanted to do it to begin with.

[Alex]

What.

[John]

I'm her.

[Alex]

What is the.

[John]

I'm her right now.

[Alex]

Okay. What is the appropriate.

[John]

You paying me? Did I ever say, hey, I really want to watch the kids fuck? No, I never said that.

[Alex]

No, but, John, like, because your family. Family, you got to step in.

[John]

Get out of my face right now.

[Alex]

Again, you don't trust her.

[John]

That's my. It's not even a random person. It's her friend.

[Alex]

I feel like this, the conversation, this.

[John]

Is a mindset a lot of people have, which is frightening.

[Alex]

Well, no, because I think that, like, some people like the sister in this. Not the girl who's saying she doesn't want to watch her sister's kid. The other sister will be like, see? Well, there's no village, you know, there's no village. Like, there's no community. I have no help. And it's like, but it's not. Everybody has their own going on. Your sister, even if she was estate, meaning you, if you the writer, if you were a stay at home mom and you didn't even work, it is not your obligation to watch someone else's children 100%. At all.

[John]

@ all.

[Alex]

You have your own kids. Those are your own responsibility. I get it. Like if it's she's in a bind or you have things going on or if you have some agreement, but you're all, you're working this. You, your days off should be reserved for you.

[John]

Oh, you got a free slot, perfect, let me jam my kids into that free slot.

[Alex]

But like I get it. Because it's like, how do you tell her no without sounding like an asshole?

[John]

Oh, no, no, you sound like an asshole. I just don't care because you're not an asshole. But you sound like one because you're just speaking truths and honesty because your sister is dumb and can't mentally process that other people have other shit going on in their lives and it's inconsiderate and that not everything revolves around them.

[Alex]

I think you made a great point in the beginning of that. I mean the whole thing was a great point. But I think you saying you will sound like an asshole, but you're not an asshole.

[John]

How are people going to defend how are people going to defend this when in the comments. Because I know people are going to say stuff like, yeah, how are you going to justify and defend inconveniencing other people? Because with other people have other shit going on in their lives. What is, what is the defense? If you were somebody, okay, you're the sister. Okay, okay. And, and she, you listen to the podcast. How are you going to defend yourself?

[Alex]

I just like, I can't even get into that, into that headspace because I hate bothering people. I'm like, I will figure it the out. I'll quit my job. Before for some reason I thought you.

[John]

Were gonna say something like, I'm gonna launch this mic across the room.

[Alex]

I just, I don't know. I really don't know.

[John]

You're gonna go with the village.

[Alex]

I think that's that, that's what the.

[John]

Argument you're go with your village example.

[Alex]

Is that like we're supposed to help each other out.

[John]

And I, and it's funny because I never want to be like, what are you doing for me? Yeah, I won't, I won't even go that route. But you're not doing anything for me but me. No, no. Like the village thing, right? And you're damned if you do, damned if you don't, because, say you help out one time, it doesn't matter. Actually, it doesn't matter. If you hang out once a week for fucking two years. The one time you don't, that person's going to be like, there's no village, there's no community.

[Alex]

I think in scenarios like this, there's an old school mentality that there is this village. The issue with living in 2025 is that everybody has to work and nobody really has the luxury. And I don't want to say nobody, but, like, you know, I think it's more challenging to make ends meet these days. Like, two people need to be working. Your time off is precious, no matter what. And so I think communicating with your sister, that taking on the burden of a third child is a lot. Going from watching two kids to three is a huge jump. And I think by explaining that to your sister and just being like, hey, listen, I don't have the bandwidth to take on one more while I'm at home with my days off. Or you have your own. Your kids are off doing their own things. You know, like if your sister can't understand this, she's asking her to watch.

[John]

Her kids while she takes a break.

[Alex]

Oh, you mean is the listener asking her sister to watch her kids? She didn't say that.

[John]

No, no, no. The one, the one who's writing in is her sister asking her to watch the kids, like when she's at work. Okay, well, I don't think.

[Alex]

Yeah, I don't know.

[John]

Do you think the, the people who are like, it takes a village, do you think they've always thought that way? Like that belief, or did that belief start when they start having kids?

[Alex]

I don't know.

[John]

Like now? No, no, it's a village now.

[Alex]

Right. Well, probably because again, people, I think, put themselves into situations that they're like, oh, wait, this is actually like a lot harder. A lot harder.

[John]

Kind of goes back to when we were talking. Like, some people just on a whim are like, oh, let's have a kid.

[Alex]

Because they think that, like, this community is going to, like, wrap around them. But it goes both ways. It's like, how has your sister shown up for you? You know, has she ever offered to watch your children?

[John]

Fair enough.

[Alex]

You know, And I just think a village is a working. Not only is it like culturally different.

[John]

Like generations, a village is holistic. Everyone has to take part, everyone has to contribute.

[Alex]

When it comes to.

[John]

That's different. That's different and we don't know that.

[Alex]

And that's, I think, what the issue is. But, like, going based off of your question, I think you just have to tell her how you honestly feel and it isn't fair to you. Like, basically everything that you wrote to us, I think you can explain to your sister. And if she doesn't understand. Oh, well, let her not understand.

[John]

Remember what the question was. I just saw red. Did she help her sister? Did she even say anything?

[Alex]

Yeah, she.

[John]

Or does her sister help her?

[Alex]

I mean, she didn't mention that. She didn't mention that.

[John]

Well, that's a big part. So now I apologize if it goes both ways. If she's doing a lot for you, then, yeah, you need to help her. I'm not saying tip for tap, but, like, again, it's holistic. You guys need to help each other out if that's what's going on. If it's just one way, like, no, go yourself.

[Alex]

Again, it also be. I think depending on a scenario, context matters. It's like, is your sister up in a bind? Like, you need to help her out, but if she has the means to afford daycare, it's not like she's recently a single mom. And you know what I mean? Like, I think that there's very real situations.

[John]

We killed this question. Yeah, okay.

[Alex]

No, but I'm just excited. Explaining. I'm giving the disclaimer because context matters. That it does. There are situations in which, like, yes, I think that you should lend a helping hand to a family member, but it doesn't sound like this is the case. So I think having.

[John]

We'll make sure to just pull like a little snippet from this where we both look like complete app assholes. And then the people that don't watch the whole YouTube video. Understand.

[Alex]

No, the people that don't watch the whole YouTube video will just comment about how I'm feeling. Piece of sh.

[John]

I think both of us on this one.

[Alex]

Great advice, John. Alex.

[John]

No, no, no. They'd be like, wow, every comment. I guess that's not a village for you.

[Alex]

Too true. Every comment always is like, great advice, John. Thanks, John. Great input. Jealous. I am a little jelly. It's because I have to be stuck reading the questions for everyone.

[John]

I think that's it.

[Alex]

You think I just am a twat. It's fine. Next question.

[John]

Cancel John.

[Alex]

Cancel John. Okay. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant with my third, I told my family. My mom and younger sister asked me what we were thinking about for a name I told them and they both said, oh, that's actually on your younger brother's baby name list. I'm not very close to my brother, so I had no idea. A few weeks went by and I got a FaceTime from my sister saying that she had accidentally told my brother that we took his name and that he and my sister in law and my other sister were very upset about it. I drafted a very nice text about how we fell in love with the name and how it had meaning to us and we were not planning on changing it at this time.

[John]

Both of you have the same name? Who fucking who cares?

[Alex]

Can I just finish the question?

[John]

Did they hear the baby?

[Alex]

She's currently pregnant.

[John]

No, no, the brother.

[Alex]

The brother isn't pregnant.

[John]

Oh my God, I'm not even. Shut the fuck, shut up.

[Alex]

My brother responded by calling me the C word and telling me that he and my sister in law wanted nothing to do with me or my family.

[John]

From now, I hope your puzzle, I hope your husband throat punched your butt. He called you a cunt because you, you had the name. Are you a fucking child?

[Alex]

Oh, I knew this one would get John. I'm not even done. My youngest sister FaceTime me crying, saying how she also had a connection to the name because they were going to make it the middle name of their future daughter who has not been conceived to my knowledge. She begged me to change the name and said if I cared about my brother, I would respect his wishes. Am I the asshole for saying respectfully, first come, first served with baby names? I reminded her that her connection was with the middle name, not the first, so she really had no reason to be upset. The arguments went nowhere and all three of my siblings have now blocked me and I haven't had contact with my brother or youngest sister. Am I the asshole for not giving in and changing the name?

[John]

I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted from the mental battle I just had in my head.

[Alex]

In our family, if people had to battle over the name Daniel, it would have been a war. We have, my dad is Dan, my brother is Dan, my cousin, her husband is Dan, their son is Dan, my nephew is Dan. We have at least seven DANs in the family and if people were like, oh, we're fighting for this name, no one would talk because everyone is named Daniel. I think it's fun because you say Dan or Daniel at a family party. Everybody's paying attention because no one knows which one it is. Who the fuck cares if you share a name? Who cares? And the fact that you're I Can't. Also, if you wanted to take the name, you don't just own a name. Also, who's to say that, like, your brother and sister in law got pregnant and it's not the same gender that they were planning on. Who was. Who cares?

[John]

All these kids spoiled. It seems very entitled. Just entitled all around from all those kids. Entitled and they shun you. No one's talking to you now because.

[Alex]

You took a name. A name. They can take a name too. Does. Also, do people forget children grow up and live individual lives?

[John]

Jen and I had the same name if we both were gonna have girls.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

And I was like, who cares? I go, whoever gets to it first.

[Alex]

But like, we had both said, like, if that's a name that you love, it's not who gets to it first. It's just also like, if you truly love the name, you could still name your child that name. Having two kids with the same. Do you know how many Olivia's there are in this world?

[John]

I guess it doesn't mean that there's. I guess there's not that much meaning to that name if you're willing to just get rid of it so quick because someone else has the baby's name. Shut up. You shut up.

[Alex]

Right?

[John]

Shut up. All of you are being so immature.

[Alex]

You're. You're not the.

[John]

Say the names. Barbie. It could be Barbie. Barbie Smith. I think you. I think you make the middle name the same as the first name. Double down.

[Alex]

Just change your last name too. Yeah, Barbie. Barbie. Barbie.

[John]

Yeah, whatever it is.

[Alex]

That's cute. Should we name our daughter Barbie?

[John]

Your mom or your parents being like, well, that's on your brother's baby. I don't give a fuck. So who are you taking sides?

[Alex]

Also, are they currently expecting? Did they. Are they naming their child?

[John]

Parents do. Like, how do they think you're gonna. They're defending one child. How are they gonna make the child the initial child feel? By saying that, like, whoa, like, you're. You're not a priority at all. Like, your brother chose this name first. That's.

[Alex]

I'd be like, okay. Did he put a down payment on the name? Like, how the. Are we reserving names now? No, really. Like, you don't own someone's name, and then these children again, grow up to live individual lives. I. It will not matter. It will not matter. Weird. People get very, very territorial about names, though.

[John]

Territorial about anything.

[Alex]

Yeah, I'm territorial over you.

[John]

Thank you.

[Alex]

I'm so hungry.

[John]

All right, are we done?

[Alex]

No. I'm so glad. Like, I just. I know you so well. I was like, this one is really, really going to.

[John]

I wonder why that stuff. What is it that, like, triggers me. I think it's just like stupid people or entitled people or. I don't know. I don't know what is certain things and other things. You. I'm like, I don't care.

[Alex]

Whatever that is. What's hard to know what will trigger John, but I knew that one would do it. Next question. My husband is in the Air Force, so we had a courthouse wedding right before he deployed. We had our parents come because his dad was sick and we weren't sure if he would make it to our big wedding the following year. My sister was going to be the matron of honor and was pissed she wasn't going to be there to sign the marriage certificate. But we weren't having any siblings come because we didn't want this to be a big deal. Fast forward to two months before our big wedding Covid hit. So we eloped, AKA took pictures and said vows. Well, here we are planning a vow renewal for our six year anniversary. Because as a wedding planner, I've always dreamt about having my big day. I threw out a few date options to my family to see what worked. We live in Alaska now, so we know it's a big ask to have people travel this far. So we wanted to pick a date that's convenient for everyone. My sister, who was going to be the maid of honor, said due to my nephew's baseball schedule and my niece's dance schedule, they could not commit to any date that I suggested. She then said even if a date did work, it would come down to whether they could even afford to travel up here for the wedding. So I picked the most convenient date for us and the rest of our guests. My sister is pissed because I picked a date that she said my nephew's last baseball tournament usually is, but not guaranteed. He absolutely cannot miss it. Am I the asshole for picking the state? Even though she couldn't even guarantee that they could make it.

[John]

Oh, no, you're not. Who cares? Who fudgeing cares? No, I mean again though, you're having your wedding in Alaska. You can't. You can't.

[Alex]

She's not mad at it. She's like, if you could come, you could come. But like, her sister's the one who's pissed, so no, you're not the asshole.

[John]

I also just want you to know you're having your fucking wedding in Alaska. Like, you can't expect anyone to come.

[Alex]

Correct that's not the argument here. The argument.

[John]

I just wanna. I just wanna add that in there.

[Alex]

Yeah. You're like, I wouldn't want to go.

[John]

I wouldn't go your weddings in Alaska. Actually, I would love to go to Alaska.

[Alex]

Okay. John. Hot and cold.

[John]

Your sister, she comes, she doesn't come. Who cares? Whatever.

[Alex]

I do remember too, like, when we were getting married, people like giving us specific dates, and I'm just like, dude, I don't give a.

[John]

If I didn't ask you for a date, this is the date.

[Alex]

Right? Like, I'm going to choose a time that works for me. But like, you, you still do try to be accommodating for, like, those core people that you want there. But it's just not always going to work out for every single person want.

[John]

To feel like they're important or think they're important. And you're not. You're not. It's your day. You do whatever you want.

[Alex]

The thing is, she was trying to be understanding and good for you.

[John]

You didn't have to do that. I would have been like, here's one of two dates.

[Alex]

Yeah, you're overall.

[John]

And I'm going to end up picking the one or two dates. So you know.

[Alex]

Exactly. Exactly. If you're in between dates. There's also a lot that goes into choosing a wedding. You know, you're a wedding planner. Vendors that you want, just accommodations, there's availability of venues, vendors like you, you don't always have as much flexibility as you think you do when it comes to actually choosing a date. Like, I remember for us, we had like three different dates at first, and then I was. I was really going based off of availability of the vendors that I wanted to work with.

[John]

I don't remember.

[Alex]

I know. And you probably weren't involved in that part. So you were like, it doesn't matter. We'll just get married on a day. But no, your sister making it about her and then being pissed. Like, who cares? This also goes with, like, the schedule. Don't schedule your kids to do so much. Also, like, missing a baseball tournament. Is he going pro? Who cares?

[John]

I think she's just being spiteful.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Because why bring up the initial wedding part of this story if you don't think it had meaning towards how annoyed she was? Okay, good luck.

[Alex]

Next question.

[John]

I'm gassed from being so mad at the other one. I probably would have been annoyed, but I'm like, who cares? Like, don't even. She doesn't come. She doesn't come. That's on Her. Actually you're winning because she's the one who's pissed, not you. So really you're meant to halt exactly your end.

[Alex]

You're not the asshole John gave 150 on that last question, but you still gave great advice. Here you gave her the answer. That's all perfect. That's all you really need. Okay, next question. My brother, 34 male and I 32 female, are super close. However, he has a pretty challenging personality, maybe even an undiagnosed disorder that makes those around him tread lightly and avoid even slightly difficult conversations. He is in a very serious relationship with his girlfriend and is likely to propose to soon. I've become close with her over the years and consider her family. Recently she confided in me that they have been having a hard time and she thinks his hormone levels are off. When I pushed further, she said he is having a hard time getting it up and keeping it up so they rarely have sex. She went on to say that it's been an issue their whole relationship. I didn't think much of it, but then I remembered a similar rumor in high school. Now I'm worried that he might have some underlying medical issue that has gone untreated his whole adult life. He refuses to see a doctor and hasn't been to one in at least a decade. I thought about talking about it to my dad because maybe he could bring it up. I don't want to betray my future sister in law's trust, but I think he should definitely be talking to a medical professional about it. Should I keep my mouth shut and just act like she never told me or try to help him? Also how it's such an inappropriate topic for siblings to discuss.

[John]

Yeah, no, it's. That's not on you. I wouldn't. I think it ends with you there. Yeah, I agree. Your brother should go see somebody. I don't understand why you wouldn't if you're fucking miserable. Right, because you're not fudgeing.

[Alex]

I think it's on your sister in law. Like if I'm in a relationship with.

[John]

You, talk to her about it.

[Alex]

Or she's not even your sister in law. Yeah, exactly. Like you have that conversation with her and if she's concerned you can say, hey, do you want me to talk to my dad about potentially bringing.

[John]

No, no, I wouldn't say that. I would initially start with like I understand your concern here are you're the doctor, like you can give her all the information, kind of push her in that direction.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Last thing you could be Like, I could speak to my dad to see if he'll talk to him.

[Alex]

Brother's girlfriend is the one in the relationship with your brother. Yeah, if she's, I mean, again, she's expressed to you that they are struggling, but did she say that she wants your help? Like, you actually.

[John]

Why would you tell the dad? No? Now I'm thinking about, don't tell the dad. That's going to be. That'd be such an awful conversation to have to have with your son. You know, it's got to be through the girlfriend, I think, or fiance.

[Alex]

Yeah, I think that this is an issue between your brother and his girlfriend. And if your brother doesn't want to work it out, like, that will manifest down the road and however their relationship goes, you know what I mean? Like, they might find solutions that work for them behind closed doors, but it really doesn't. I don't think that this is your issue to solve or to even bring up to your brother. Unless again, your, your brother's girlfriend said, hey, what is your advice? Can you help me here? And then you could offer up solutions there. Do you want me to talk to him? Do you want me to get my dad involved, to talk to him, to go see? But honestly, if your brother's not willing.

[John]

To go, did you really want to do it? What if she's like, yeah, I want you to talk to him. You're your brother. Are you going to want to actually have a conversation with your brother?

[Alex]

If I was involved, I, I don't think that. I don't think I would have talked to my brother about it because I'd be like, your brother.

[John]

Brother, brother, sure. Sister to brother. Fuck no.

[Alex]

Yeah, I, I would probably bring it to my dad and be like, hey, so and so told me this. Find out what you can. Give some. Give some help.

[John]

Find out why. Find out we know what's going on.

[Alex]

Well, maybe not.

[John]

Maybe it's find a fucking doctor.

[Alex]

Maybe the brother hasn't another issue. Maybe it's mental and he's just like, I actually don't really like this girl.

[John]

That's probably causing the mental issue, probably should fix it.

[Alex]

You know, there's just too many things that you don't know here and that you probably shouldn't know. So I would just say, thank you for telling me, girlfriend, this is your problem. I have nothing to do with this. I can't.

[John]

I guess you want your brother to be in a good mental state or you're silly. Anyone would. No one wants them to be depressed or angry or Any of that, like. But it's got to go through her. Good luck.

[Alex]

Did you want a secret? Okay. The morning we left for our honeymoon, I woke up feeling slightly nauseous, but didn't think much of it. Midway through our first flight, I started to feel worse and ended up puking and my guts out in the airport during our layover. Thankfully, I slept most of our second flight and made it to our resort. After two days of laying low and not leaving our room, I was finally feeling better. I finally felt up to doing the deed. While doing so, I thought I could trust a small fart. I could not. I shat the bed. My husband was a saint about it. But I will feel forever awful for the poor room service man who had to come take the sheets.

[John]

Does this remind you that. That story we were so invested in?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

That poor girl on the plane, right? Shitting on the plane and then having to land while she's still in the toilet.

[Alex]

Yeah. And then they had to cancel the flight after her, if you guys know what we're talking about.

[John]

Biohazard.

[Alex]

The aspects, suits, but similar situation. She said that she also shat in the bed and, like, rolled the sheets up in the corner and went down to concierge and was like, I apologize. Don't touch those sheets. Just throw them out.

[John]

And they were like you.

[Alex]

They were like.

[John]

You wouldn't believe how many people did.

[Alex]

Yeah, I'm sure. The things that people see in hotel rooms also, guys.

[John]

That's my fear.

[Alex]

Don't forget to leave a tip for the people.

[John]

Yeah, you always need to leave a tip for your housekeeping for sure.

[Alex]

Exactly.

[John]

That's a rough job. I had a client once when I was a vocational counselor. He worked at, like, a Hamptons Inn and whatever. And so I'd go with him while he's, like, doing a thing. I'd help him to clean these rooms. I mean, it's exhausting. You're like cleaning a shower. That's why I hate cleaning a shower. To this day. It's like cleaning the shower, cleaning the toilet, doing the trash, the bed. And you got, like, 30 rooms, and.

[Alex]

You probably have a time limit that you have to do it for the next people checking in. It's a lot.

[John]

You're back. Oh.

[Alex]

But anyway, I'm sorry that you shot this. Shot the sheets.

[John]

Yeah. That's brutal.

[Alex]

Give me yours.

[John]

Give me yours.

[Alex]

Give me yours.

[John]

Okay. My wreck, my rack. Well, it's nostalgic, and it's coming back with all these different, like. Like American Eagle or whatever. Like the clothes come back to the jean shorts and shit.

[Alex]

Are you just saying American Eagle? Because the current Sydney Sweeney ad that's.

[John]

Going viral, is it American or is it Hollister?

[Alex]

No, American Eagle has Sydney Sweeney.

[John]

No, no, I'm not talking about her. The jean shorts.

[Alex]

Hollister.

[John]

Like how, like, the 2000s clothes are coming back.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, yeah, this Sweeney thing. No, that's not. Not at all like, how all those clothes are coming back. And your mom called me on this, but Birkenstocks.

[Alex]

I was like, what are you grabbing Birkenstocks?

[John]

Because. And your mom goes, oh, honey, that's been. That's. That thing's been around for a couple of years now. Like, everyone's been wearing Birkenstocks.

[Alex]

I think so. I've always seen them around. I never knew that they went out of style in high school.

[John]

Huge. Huge.

[Alex]

No, but the things that are coming back, you know, that. Tick tock or Instagrammer, Kate Steinberg. She always does wardrobes from, like, the early.

[John]

She wear all the makeup.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, apparently Hollister just dropped their, like, 2000s launch, which was when we. Jean skirts or layered polos? Layered tank top underneath. So many layers. So many layers. Jean. Jean skirts.

[John]

I mean, jean shorts should be burnt. Don't wear jean. Jean shorts are so ugly. I'll die on that hill. I don't care. What? Anyone?

[Alex]

For guys.

[John]

For girls, too. Guys.

[Alex]

I love jean shorts.

[John]

And they're down to your knees.

[Alex]

Not shorts. I just like a good jean short.

[John]

Oh, yeah, no, no, that. Yeah, right. Daisy Dukes.

[Alex]

I haven't been able to find one of those.

[John]

Our first photo together. You're wearing those. Oh, yeah, no, those are fine. That is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about stitched jeans not ripped at all.

[Alex]

I know, I know.

[John]

Okay, anyways, back to Birkenstocks. I was like, all right, I got a pair. And you got to wear them in a little bit. And now they're so comfortable. I love them. Like, God, this really brings me back to high school. The cork. Anyways, so that's.

[Alex]

Your rack is Birkenstock.

[John]

Birkenstocks, Yeah.

[Alex]

I. I actually forgot that this was a wreck. I was like, what are we talking about? Just, like, old nostalgic things. I just remember going into Hollister and seeing, like, the live feed of California, and I'm like, yo, that's so rad.

[John]

Oh, the California flag.

[Alex]

That's probably why I have asthma now. It's from shopping in Abercrombie. In Hollister.

[John]

Try this.

[Alex]

Yeah. Right in your face and just choking on all the perfumes and fragrances.

[John]

I was jealous of all. Like, the guys are my age being Hollister models. I'm like, damn.

[Alex]

Damn. You know, Abby was. She worked at Hollister.

[John]

Really?

[Alex]

Abercrombie? Yeah.

[John]

Good for her.

[Alex]

My wreck, because I'm currently suffering from all of the ailments recently, is Tums, but not just Tums. You, like, dumped this flavor of Tums into, like, our other Tums. It was like a coconut.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. So delightful. It was actually, like, creamy and delicious. But it got me thinking of this theory, because when you eat Tums, and I don't know about you, but I'm.

[John]

Like, is it calcium? That's what it is. Tum is a calcium.

[Alex]

Don't ask me. I don't know. It helps with my heartburn. But when you're eating it, I'm like, I've. I've experienced this before. Like, I've grown up on this. And I realized Tums are like the older sister to Smarties.

[John]

I was thinking, well, those are. I was thinking of the. Well, the new ones just.

[Alex]

No, no, no. Not like the chewy candy kind.

[John]

1.

[Alex]

Those are really good.

[John]

They shouldn't make them taste good. That's kind of dangerous.

[Alex]

Yeah, but the OG Tums are, like. They're related to Smarties. And I'm like, who thought that Smarties would be a good candy? Because it's really not. It's just, like, chalky and, like, Tums. So it got me thinking about the inventor of Smarties and why they are existent, why they exist in general in the first place. And I was like, it was probably a mom, a pregnant mom who was consuming a. An ungodly amount of Tums, and her younger kids were probably like, I want some of that candy, mom. And she's like, obviously, I can't just feed my kids Tums. So she created Smarties, and that's how they started.

[John]

Oh, seriously?

[Alex]

I just came up with that.

[John]

Don't you be serious. I was like, oh, so Tums were first and then Smarties?

[Alex]

I mean, it sounds like a great story.

[John]

Damn.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I believed you.

[Alex]

I'm gonna walk around and say, my mother, the inventor of Smarties.

[John]

I actually hate that. I. I'm so gullible. I'm so gullible.

[Alex]

I mean, it sounds like a good thing.

[John]

Wait, I do need. I. We. This has been so long. But I do need to say this. I didn't expect Escape Room once with the guys for, like, a bachelor party thing. I don't know why we did it. And we go in. We go in the front door.

[Alex]

Never done one of those.

[John]

They're. They're boring. They're all right, whatever. We go in and we line up, and the woman starts talking to us like, we just signed the waivers. And she's like, so this place was built over a grave site. A lot of body. And I go, no way.

[Alex]

Like, you legit believe there's a group.

[John]

Of 10 of us. I looked down the line. I'm like, are you hearing this? And she's like, yeah, so it's haunted. I'm like, are you. I was like, get out of here. And. And she says one other thing about blood or something, like, shut up. And she goes. She goes, I'm.

[Alex]

I'm doing an ad.

[John]

I go, oh, oh, you're doing the. You're doing the thing now? My friend's like, shout the up. I honestly was like, this is a perfect place for an escape room.

[Alex]

I can't believe you got the least to this place.

[John]

This chick must have been so mad at me, because I'm like, no way.

[Alex]

It reminds me of Shane Gillis's stand up when he's like, goes to the George Washington Museum. He's like, martha would not break character. Oh, that's so funny. Okay, anyways, we should do an escape room together.

[John]

Sure. What? Fine. If you want to.

[Alex]

Should we do it before I have a baby?

[John]

Probably not. Probably not.

[Alex]

Maybe it will help me go into labor.

[John]

Anyways, that's it. Guys like, subscribe email. Why do you always.

[Alex]

Because I say I go first. I go first. I say, thank you so much for tuning in.

[John]

Fine.

[Alex]

No, go ahead.

[John]

Guys like subscribe email, comment. Leave us a review on itunes, Spotify, all those.

[Alex]

You know, I don't know actually now where the order of it goes. But anyway, if you want to follow us, you can find us that Give it to Me Straight podcasts on all the platforms. And if you want to send us an email, you can reach us at hello at Give it to me straight podcast.com or submit an anonymous question in our show notes or on our website.

[John]

And we'll see you next week.

[Alex]

Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.