66. Giving you break ups, divorces, and instagram models

Summary

Podcast Summary: Give It To Me Straight
Episode 66: “Giving you break ups, divorces, and Instagram models”
Released: August 26, 2025
Hosts: Alex and John
Podcast Network: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

In this candid and humorous episode, married co-hosts Alex and John tackle listener questions and share stories on breakups, divorces, exes, and navigating modern relationships in the age of social media. With their signature unfiltered banter, they unpack the complexities of marriage, discuss the realities of parenting and home life, and dive deep into dilemmas involving Instagram behaviors, blended families, and relationship loyalty. The episode is marked by their trademark wit, playfulness, and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life, Death, and Afterlife Rom-Coms (00:00–07:24)

• The episode opens with a playful existential debate about who you’d choose in the afterlife if you loved two people in your lifetime.
• “Now that’s different. I’d be fighting in the afterlife.” (John, 00:13)
• They riff on the idea of exes and remarriage in the afterlife, blending humor and love.

2. Movie Casting Rabbit Hole & High-Stakes Parenting (01:48–04:21)

• Alex and John discuss the confusing casting choices in movies, like actors playing spouses who look too similar, using “Granite Mountain Hot Shots” as an example.
• This segues into a deep but lighthearted discussion on whether they would want to start a family if one was terminally ill:
  • John is adamant: “No, absolutely not,” against starting a family alone (04:21).
  • Alex and John agree it's self-centered to leave a partner to parent solo just to have a piece of oneself live on.

3. Grief, Moving On, and Love’s Possessiveness (06:03–07:24)

• Alex and John joke about haunting each other if one moved on, but ultimately agree on wishing happiness for each other should one partner die.

4. Parenthood Prep—and Overwhelm (07:24–08:45)

• Alex updates listeners on batching episodes in anticipation of their baby's arrival and expresses fatigue with TikTok parenting hacks:
  • “We’ll just figure it out and complain about it later.” (Alex, 08:30)

5. Home Life, Shows, and Representation (08:45–10:14)

• Discussion of Jason Momoa’s Apple TV show and praise for diverse casting, especially non-actors from Polynesian descent.
• John jokes about being discovered while grocery shopping.

6. Hair Woes & Manifesting Success (10:00–10:14, 35:01–35:12)

• John’s ongoing hair complaints draw Alex’s playful teasing.
• They discuss the “manifestation” mentality and putting in real effort toward goals.

7. Avocado Shopping Rage & Fun Facts (15:46–17:36)

• John humorously recounts a grocery store encounter where he tries to share an avocado hack, but the person doesn’t listen.
• “I just wanted a fun fact, John... and she wouldn’t let me have it.” (John, 17:31)

8. Frustration with Printers (17:41–19:04)

• Jokes about the universal struggle with home printers.
• “Does anyone actually have a good experience using at home printers?” (Alex, 18:39)

9. Homesteading Fantasies & Nature vs. City Life (19:04–23:07)

• Imagining a slower life in upstate NY with land, chickens, and issues: “You can’t even keep a plant alive.” (John, 19:59)
• Amusing debate over natural light and living-room blinds.

10. Pregnancy Real Talk: Shaving Woes & Body Changes (29:03–32:24)

• Alex discusses the milestone of being unable to see her vagina due to pregnancy:
  • “Weed whacking through a forest that I’ve known… I could do it for you.” (John, 31:02)
  • They debate mirror tricks, waxing, and partners’ help in grooming.

11. Marriage is Hard...Or Is It? (32:40–33:39)

• “Marriage is not hard. Life is hard. Marriage is the fun part—it makes the hard parts easier.” (Alex, 33:10)
• Both insist that being with the right partner should make marriage feel less difficult.

12. Listener Q&A Segment

A. Moving On From a One-Sided Separation (36:12–38:56)

• Listener is separated, wants to save marriage, but husband seems done.
• Advice: Don't use the “divorce” word in the first year after a baby; try counseling before giving up.
• Notable quote: “If you would regret not fighting more, keep trying until you have nothing left to give.” (Alex, 38:27)

B. Ex Keeping The Married Name (38:56–41:37)

• Listener's husband's ex-wife kept his last name; it bothers her.
• Both agree it’s probably laziness, spite, or preference for a cool name—nothing to stress over.

C. Friend Returning to a Problematic Partner (41:43–45:32)

• Friend vents post-breakup, then reconciles with her ex.
• Alex: Accept some friends will cycle in/out of toxic relationships—don’t shoulder their emotional burden: “Sometimes people just gotta learn on their own.” (44:52)
• John: “Your friend should know that about me. If you want my advice and don’t take it—I’m out.” (43:40)

D. Introducing the “Homewrecking” Affair Partner to the Kids (46:03–49:19)

• Listener’s ex introduced kids to his affair partner.
• Alex: It’s inevitable after divorce, as long as kids are safe.
• John: “You can be pissed, but there’s nothing you can do unless there’s danger.” (48:50)

E. Dating a Married Man (49:42–51:36)

• Listener’s friend is “the other woman.”
• Clear advice: “This guy’s not leaving his wife. Your friend is just hoping. All you can do is watch.” (Alex, 50:43)

F. Divorce Over Wanting (or Not Wanting) Kids (52:07–57:45)

• Listener amicably divorcing because one wants kids, one doesn’t.
• Alex: “You made the best decision with the info you had. Don’t waste more time if it’s a dealbreaker.”
• John: “Everyone changes, everyone reacts differently. There’s never 100% certainty in life.” (53:47, 54:00)

G. Disclosing Divorce and Abuse to New Partners (57:51–62:10)

• Listener feels shame about abusive first marriage; when to tell someone new?
• Alex: Divorce isn’t a big first-date detail, but disclose serious things by the time it’s serious.
• John: “All cards on the table before any sort of contract is in place.” (59:32)

H. Husband’s Risqué Instagram Likes (62:15–69:24)

• Husband repeatedly likes and messages half-naked women on social media.
• Both agree: Liking is disrespectful when it crosses boundaries your partner has, especially after multiple warnings.
• “He’s not respecting you; it’s a slap in the face.” (John, 67:18)
• Alex: “You’re not an asshole for snooping—he keeps giving you reasons to.” (66:16)

I. Cat from Ex—What to Do? (71:24–74:13)

• Listener stuck with ex’s cat, husband tries to secretly rehome it.
• Strong reaction from both: Don’t abandon pets; find a home where they’re loved.

J. Pets and Sentimentality (74:15–77:33)

• Sentimental stories about their dog, Kobe.
• “I feel bad for a dog. I cry more for Kobe than a family member.” (John, 77:13)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I would haunt you.” (Alex, 06:29) — on the afterlife and remarriage
• “Marriage is not hard. Life is hard.” (Alex, 33:10)
• “If you want my advice and don’t take my advice—I’m out.” (John, 43:40)
• “You’re not an asshole for snooping—he keeps giving you reasons to.” (Alex, 66:16)
• “He’s not respecting you; it’s a slap in the face.” (John, 67:18)
• “Don’t abandon your animal.” (Alex, 74:13)

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Product Recommendations Segment (78:03–79:44)

• Got2B Glued hair gel: John’s long-time pick for thick hair (78:03)
• Dolce Glow self tanner: Alex’s favorite for a natural at-home tan (79:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Existential romance/afterlife: 00:00–01:18, 06:48–07:24
• Movie casting & life/death question: 01:48–03:42
• Starting a family amid terminal illness: 04:21–05:43
• Kids, grief, and moving on: 06:03–07:24
• Parenting hacks & batch episode update: 07:24–08:45
• Home shows & inclusivity: 08:45–10:14
• Hair woes & manifesting: 10:00–10:14, 35:01–35:12
• Avocado story: 15:46–17:36
• Printer frustration: 17:41–19:04
• Homesteading debate: 19:04–23:07
• Pregnancy milestones & body changes: 29:03–32:24
• Q&A (divorce, relationships, exes): 36:12–80:05
• Product recs: 78:03–79:44

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Tone & Language

• Lighthearted, unfiltered, and often explicit
• Equal parts humor and earnest relationship wisdom
• Deep affection and playful bickering between co-hosts
• Frank, supportive, but always with a comedic punch

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Final Thoughts

In this episode, Alex and John give deeply personal and practical advice on everything from complex breakups, navigating digital boundaries in marriage, and handling post-divorce relationships—channeling both empathy and irreverence. If you want relationship advice that’s direct, hilarious, and real, “Give It To Me Straight” delivers.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. What a good concept, where it's like you die. You had two people who you loved in life, like your husband, who you were with for, like, 30 years, and then, like, your partner after, and it's like, who do you choose?

[B]

Now that's different. I'd be fighting in the afterlife.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Throwing hands away.

[A]

And you then remarried. Fuck that bitch. And welcome back to Give It To Me Straight. I'm Alex.

[B]

And I'm John, your gracious, gracious, gracious host.

[A]

Here we go. What's up? What?

[B]

My hair, dude.

[A]

You complained about it. You could get it cut shorter.

[B]

I just, like, just drive me.

[A]

You get your hair cut? Eyeballs, what, once a week?

[B]

Well, if you want to sleep back here, you got to pull it back.

[A]

Okay, but you could still get it cut, like, at least a half an inch shorter, and then it won't bother your eyeballs until it grows out again.

[B]

We're going to circle back to this for my recommendations. We'll talk about it then.

[A]

Just get it cut shorter. You've been complaining about it for probably the last since we've been in New York, but looking back at the pictures and videos from la, it was too short.

[B]

Too short?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I like my hair long. I don't want to talk about it. I'll talk about it later.

[A]

Okay? You're the one who brought it up.

[B]

I know, but it's like I just fixed it, I sat down, and then it all just went into my fucking eyeballs.

[A]

You look. When you don't have it styled, you look like Schultze Little Nikki. Like, emo kid little Nikki.

[B]

I've gotten Andrew Schultz a lot. Schultz.

[A]

He doesn't have your haircut. I don't think.

[B]

Close. And we both have stashes. I think we're both just trying to be as ugly as possible.

[A]

Like, I feel like people just take the most basic traits of a person and they're like, oh, you look exactly like.

[B]

I'm like, I mean, that's what people been telling me. I'm like, I guess I could see it.

[A]

We were talking about this the other day, when movies cast people who look identical.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, if you know the person, you might think that they look different. But then, like an outsider, you're like, I don't know these two people, but they look so similar.

[B]

So we watched this movie, Granite Mountain. I don't know if it was called Granite Mountain Hot Shots or whatever it was called. It was a really good movie. Old movie. Miles Teller's in it. And Then, yeah, I've never. The guy from Goonies. I can't remember his name. Something. Brody Brolin. He's a really talented actor too. I can't remember. But yeah, yeah. It was about the firefighters. Like 19 firefighters, like lost their lives in like an. A wildfire. And it's. It's a really good movie.

[A]

We got to the end of the movie. It was so sad. And I'm like, is this a true story? I look it up and the first thing that says that I see, it says fiction. And I'm like, oh, thank God. Fiction is.

[B]

And then rolling credits. It's like every guy, like photos of.

[A]

Them and like, is this real? And then we looked it up. It was based on true story.

[B]

Yeah, it was. It was so sad.

[A]

So sad.

[B]

But the act we're talking about, the actors, like the. The wife of the older guy, Jeff Bridges. That's who it was. Who's the other guy? One of the other ones. His wife. And then like Brolin's wife. They look alike. I'm like, why do you cast two people that look way too similar? Just be friends.

[A]

I really didn't think that they did. But you thought they were the same person. I was like, no, they're different people. But I never underst. I never understand when people do that for movies. I'm like, you can't have two people. They don't even. When you're writing a script, they don't even like two people to have the. A name with the same letter starting with the same letter. Because it can like, it's annoying when like you're writing out the script.

[B]

And like that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm just saying that both.

[B]

Brunette, they're both like. I'm like, you couldn't switch it up a little bit?

[A]

Anyways, so.

[B]

So one topic we were talking about and while I was thinking about it was in part in this movie, Brolin's wife.

[A]

Right. I forgot that we were talking about.

[B]

This was like wanting to have a family with him and he basically didn't want to have kids and kind of like his. His life is like a. Like a high risk life, like his job. And we're just talking. I'm like, if I was dying and how do I want to.

[A]

I asked it to you.

[B]

How do I want to say this?

[A]

I said, if you were a woman that could carry a baby and we were married and you knew that I was dying. Like, obviously in this movie she didn't know that her husband was about to away, but we were going to Start a family. Would you want to actually start a family? Before I passed away, knowing that like I was. Wouldn't be there to raise a kid.

[B]

With you, I was like, no, absolutely not.

[A]

Absolutely not. And I get that. But I know, I feel like I've heard of some people who have teach.

[B]

His own what they want to do. I'm just saying how my approach to this is like, no, I don't want other people do whatever you want. But if, if you were dying and you're like, I wanna. Well, I guess it wouldn't work because you're the one who has to have the kid.

[A]

If you could carry the kid like in, in a weird world. If you know what.

[B]

No. If you're not with me.

[A]

No.

[B]

Then what? Then I'm miserable for 18 years.

[A]

Miserable.

[B]

Well like then I have to just.

[A]

Carry on my own a piece of me to be with you.

[B]

I mean I love you.

[A]

But I think for me, like I, I think it's real. Like I love the sentiment. I'm like, oh yes, like to still. If I wasn't, if I currently was not pregnant and I was like, oh, you're ill. You know, John's passing on. Do I want carry a piece of me with him? I don't know.

[B]

I would never want to burden you ever with that. I think that's so. I think that's self centered. I'll be that. I'll be that person. I think that's self centered. You're gonna, you want your piece of you to live on. Okay, I guess. But then it's like you're leaving your partner alone to have to raise this child without you. And you're like, bye, I'm dead.

[A]

I guess the thought is like, you know, you still have this, this memory, something created. I could see the sentiment behind it. Is it for us? I don't think that I would do it. Not that you have the option.

[B]

I'm actually thinking of you more than myself. Shocking like for people to think that way.

[A]

I knock on wood, please. I want you so annoyed though if you do actually perish before she arrives. Please don't like let us not.

[B]

If I was on my deathbed and I had like one erection left, I would just be like, don't worry about it because I want you to live your life.

[A]

One erection left.

[B]

Because I don't. I. I want you like Alex, move on. I hope you have a great life. I really do.

[A]

I.

[B]

If I died, I hope you find someone and, and you're happy and like.

[A]

No, I would just adopt 18000 dogs.

[B]

Whatever you want to live, whatever you want to do for your life. Like, I want you to be happy. It wouldn't bother me. I don't know why that bothers people. Like, if you died, right, And I found someone else, would you be.

[A]

I would haunt you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I mean, I would want you to move on and be happy for sure. I wouldn't want you to be single and depressed and thinking about me the whole time. Like, oh my gosh, live for both of us. Yeah. But that's actually interesting that you say that because I think it's another movie that's coming out with Miles Teller, about looks so good.

[B]

I love Miles.

[A]

But like, what a good concept where it's like you die. You had two people who you loved in life. Like your husband who you were with for like 3:30 years. I'm pretty sure that's the concept of the movie. And then like your partner after and it's like, who do you choose? Who do you choose?

[B]

Now that's different. I'd be fighting in the afterlife.

[A]

Oh, exactly.

[B]

Throwing hands away.

[A]

And you then remarried. Fuck that bitch. Like, you're coming back with me.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's totally different.

[A]

I'm like your OG wife. You wouldn't have been with that hoe unless I left.

[B]

That's true. That's a valid point.

[A]

It's complicated. Is it hot here? No, I wore a T shirt today. I want a T shirt today. Yeah, but I am getting really hot. I don't know. It's hot and cold. I'm feeling all the ways. Which guys, by the way, we wanted to keep you posted. This is our last episode before. Don't worry, we're not going anywhere. We are batching. So like we have pre recorded episodes because I'm popping a baby out and we're just gonna take like two, three, four, maybe four weeks of just like pre recorded episodes. So we'll still be showing up for you every week.

[B]

We need to get situated.

[A]

Yeah, it's just we don't know what our life is going to look like.

[B]

Yeah, like we don't know what it's going to be like. But I'm so sick of seeing these videos on TikTok. It's like life hack to keep your baby to sleep. Like it's really easy. And then the person goes on like a ten minute fucking monologue about how to do it. I'm like, fuck it. We'll figure it out. Whatever works for us.

[A]

We saw this. Like we were watching this sleep Training TikTok. That's what it was. And this girl is giving this laundry list of, like, what to do. And I'm just like, I got to.

[B]

Keep just feeding every two hours. Keep loading up, loading up, loading them up. And then at night, and then they'll.

[A]

Start, but if they're not gaining their weight, we wake them up. I'm just like, it's too much. I can't. We'll just figure it out and then we'll complain about it later on. But yeah, anyway, so if we have short updates, it's because we've only lived one day in between these episodes.

[B]

But a couple things. Talking about shows. Jason Momoa, your boy show on Apple is awesome. I like it.

[A]

Keep watching it. Did you watch another episode?

[B]

I figured you wanted to finish it with me.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I thought was really cool about the show. Mostly Polynesian descent actors and people who weren't even actors. So he hired a guy to be the king of one of the islands, and it was some dude he just saw. He's like a farmer in Kauai. I think it was quite. I just think that's so cool. What a great concept. Just like, picking up new talent. Get some new. Get some fresh people.

[A]

John's like, me next.

[B]

Me next. I'm in the grocery store.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, Just flexing while I'm getting this can of beans. Yeah.

[B]

Perfect for a role. The new Twilight war movie. Yeah.

[A]

I think you could do it. Especially with your hair like that.

[B]

I think I could do. I think I could do a bunch of different things.

[A]

You look like an angsty vampire or some I'm angry dude in war from, like, the 1950s or Peaky Blinders. One of those.

[B]

That's a good show.

[A]

You know what. What do you. What do they say? Speak it into existence. It will come back.

[B]

I have. I've been doing it for, like, five years now.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Time. It's time.

[A]

But you also have to, like, put the action towards it. You haven't taken one acting class, John.

[B]

I know, I know. We were in a show once. That counts.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, sure. We act every day. We act like we're in love and happy. Just kidding.

[B]

And one of today's sponsors is Caraway. You know, as Alex and I get ready to welcome a new baby into our family.

[A]

Here she comes.

[B]

I suddenly become hyper aware of everything we bring into our home. Which is true.

[A]

It is.

[B]

And let me tell you, once you go down that rabbit hole of what's in most cookware. Yikes.

[A]

Ewa.

[B]

That's why I'm so glad we found Caraway home. Caraway's Internet famous cookware is not only gorgeous, they have a beautiful selection of colors. We chose cream. Well, Alex shows cream. I didn't choose.

[A]

I was like, this is the one that I want.

[B]

But it also gives me peace of mind because it's 100% non toxic. No PFAS, PTFE, or other hard to pronounce chemicals that could leach into the food we're cooking for ourselves and our growing family. Just a safe ceramic coating that makes dinner roll right off the pan. And yes, that includes late night scrambled eggs or whatever Alex is craving at that time.

[A]

Thank you, Chef John, for continuing to cook for me, Chef John.

[B]

Which now slides right onto the plate instead of gluing to the pan. Compared to our old scratched up pans that were a nightmare to clean, Caraway has been a game changer. They're so easy to cook with, so easy to clean, and they make me actually want to cook at home. Which is true. I love that they're so easy to just scrape everything off. Like no problem.

[A]

I know. Slippery, gliding, slippery, slippery. Hopefully that's what my baby does with me. She just falls right out.

[B]

Anyways, over 65,000 people have already rated Caraway 5 stars. And now I actually get why their cookware set comes with everything. The saute pan, the fry pan, the Dutch oven and saucepan, plus lids and storage. You save $150 versus buying everything individually. Ooh, that's smart.

[A]

It is.

[B]

Full package. Full package. So here's the deal. Visit CarawayHome.com GitMS or use the code to GITMS at checkout for an additional 10% off your next purchase. Caraway Non toxic cookware made modern.

[A]

This episode is also sponsored by Ritual Pregnancy comes with a never ending checklist. Seriously, I feel like it's nonstop. Eat healthy, drink enough water. Take your prenatals. Rest when you can remember what day it is. I don't know what day it is.

[B]

It's Tuesday.

[A]

Tuesday. Sometimes it feels like there are so many things to stay on top of. But one thing I don't want to leave to chance is the question quality of the prenatals that I take. And that's why I chose Ritual Essential Prenatal. A lot of people don't realize that pregnant women are often overlooked in research. Not. Okay, that's. Many prenatal vitamins on the market aren't even clinically tested, which just blows my mind. Ritual is changing that. They actually ran a groundbreaking 24 week clinical trial on their prenatal and it is the number one best selling prenatal and the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. For me, Ritual makes this part of the checklist easier. Their Essential Prenatal delivers key nutrients like folate, biotin, vitamin D and it's designed with pregnancy in mind. Gentle on the stomach, easy to take and it doesn't feel like a chore. I just know I'm supporting my body and my baby with something that is truly evidence based, not just a label. And here is a nice bonus. It is HSA and FSA eligible which means you could save money by using prep pre tax dollars on checkout. We love to save some money. Don't settle for less than evidence based support. Get 25 off your first month at ritual.com straight start ritual or add Essential Prenatal to your subscription today. That's ritual.com straight for 25 off.

[B]

Boom.

[A]

Thanks for your help John.

[B]

No problem.

[A]

This episode is also sponsored by HelloFresh. As expecting parents, let me tell you, anything that saves us a trip to the grocery store right now feels like a miracle. Facts between baby prep, doctor's appointments and remembering to pee. Just kidding. I don't have to remember to do that. I do it every five seconds. Every last thing I want to do is wander the aisle stressing over what is for dinner. And that's why HelloFresh has been truly such a lifesaver. HelloFresh delivers chef crafted recipes and fresh ingredients right to our door.

[B]

The freshest.

[A]

No more late night grocery runs or forgetting the one ingredient that we need. Which to be fair, I would probably just send you on a run. But you don't have to do it anymore either. I love the variety. They just made their biggest menu upgrade yet. We're talking 100 options every single week.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So you'll never get bored, which is nice. From seasonal dishes to steak and seafood at no extra cost, there's always something new to try. It keeps dinner exciting and helps us mix it up instead of cycling through the same three easy meals.

[B]

We're talking meat, we're talking steak, we're talking meat.

[A]

Yeah. That's about all the options that we have without HelloFresh. Like we need more options. So thank you. Knowing that they're well rounded is very good to stay fueled while growing a human. Plus 91 of customers say that they even feel healthier eating with HelloFresh. And 9 out of 10 say dinner just tastes better this way. And I have to say that we do Agree. The best way to cook just got better. Go to hellofresh.com straight10fm now to get 10 free meals and a free item for life. One per box with an active subscription. Free meals are applied at a discount on your first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That is hellofresh.com straight10fm for 10 free meals and a free item for life. One thing I actually did want to bring up. I know that you. Are you done talking about the show?

[B]

Wait, I'm segueing back into the grocery store. The candle. Because also, I was in the grocery store the other day. I go to the grocery store, like, every other day. One, to get out of the house. Two, it's my spot, you know, it's. It's a small. All old people that go in there. I like it. It's my vibe for my cooking channel. I wanted to go get avocados because the other day I got avocados. They're all soft and mushy. The avocados are suck. So I go in again, and I'm waiting for this lady. She's looking at the avocados, and she's feeling up every single avocado, like, smushing all the avocados. I'm like, okay. And for some reason, I sparked combos like, oh, are all those avocados batch? Like, oh, yeah. And then we go in this conversation about avocados, and then we go to the bag of organic avocados, and they're hard. And we're talking about it. And what was bothering me is she wasn't listening to my point. And for some reason. For some reason, it was very triggering because I'm like, oh, well, how you know if avocados are good or not is you look at the stem placement, right? If it's not, like, brown or black, they're still good. And she kept cutting me off. She's like, well, I just squeezed avocado. And then I would continue into saying, yeah, but another way. Yeah, but I just squeezed avocado. And for some reason, it was driving me crazy because, like, I wanted to get my point across so bad, and she wouldn't let me have it. And I go, oh, all the avocados are shit here. And I walked away.

[A]

But you still got a bag of avocados.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

But you know what? I saw you did you put them in the fridge, and that's how they get like. Like, hardened.

[B]

I don't do it anymore.

[A]

Yeah, you just put them in the fridge the other day. I pulled them Out. You must have just like mass unloaded things in the refrigerator because I see the bag of avocados and I was like, these shouldn't be in here. I know people are like, oh, put them in there to.

[B]

No, it tastes like. Don't do it.

[A]

Yeah. If you leave them in there, they get rubber. Rubbery.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. But I'm sorry that you had that experience with that woman. I would have listened to you. Maybe not. I probably would have cut you off just like.

[B]

I just wanted a fun fact. John. It's so bad. And she wouldn't let me have it.

[A]

It's all right. You come back.

[B]

What exciting news for the week.

[A]

I mean, your fun facts.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

Printers. I really have a bone to pick with printers at home. Printers never fucking work.

[B]

Never.

[A]

And it was funny because I feel like my phone was listening to me because I saw someone make a TikTok about it where it's like your at home printer and it's like, sorry, you want to print something maybe like, pay attention to me. Put some ink in me. But it's like we do have ink in our printer and there's just always problems with a home printer.

[B]

Well, on us for not using actual. The brand ink because it's an error code if you don't use the actual. I think that's one thing you need to do. You can't skimp on branded things. When it comes to just like our batteries for the cameras, if they're not canon batteries, the batteries fuck up. So we didn't get the actual brothers ink. So the printer didn't read it.

[A]

I just want to print one thing a year and I can't do that. It's so annoying. So, yeah, if anyone has recommendations, I'm not even gonna buy a new printer. So actually don't give me recommendations for a good printer.

[B]

The inks coming in.

[A]

Yeah, but it's just. It's annoying. I feel like I've had. Does anyone actually have a good experience using at home printers?

[B]

I mean, they've been around long enough that you think they wouldn't. They would have adjusted the problem.

[A]

Right. You're like, that's the one thing that is still in ancient times printers. Because it's tangible.

[B]

Brutal. Brutal. You know, I send you like photos from the Y and it's like all the kids at camp and stuff like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, oh, that's so cute. And it just makes me think. I could see why, like when people have kids, they all of a sudden are Like, I want a homestead. I want to. I want to have land and I want to be out in the middle.

[A]

And let them play.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

To like, give them.

[B]

What if we moved to upstate New York next to.

[A]

Next to Jessica, my cousin. She lives on like 15 acres, but her kids live the best life up there.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

They do.

[B]

But then, like, you're like, it's slower pace.

[A]

45 minutes from the grocery store. What would you do? You'd be driving out all day.

[B]

I know. I'd be gone.

[A]

You would. That would be your full time job.

[B]

Go out there to have her. Let our kid have a better life. But I never see her because I'm at the grocery store.

[A]

I would do it if we could get chickens. I do want to. We get so many. I. We eat so many eggs that I would love. The only annoying thing is I feel.

[B]

We need to be mobile, though, because we go. We travel a lot for work. I know.

[A]

Our chickens would die.

[B]

You can't even keep a plant alive.

[A]

I know. That's why we have these fake plants in here. I have kept that one plant alive from our short film. That indoor plant that we have. It's been. I mean, that.

[B]

An ivy plant. By the way, speaking of ivy plants, they removed 78 of fecal. Airborne fecal matter. English ivy plants.

[A]

You should bring them to the Y to keep, you know, the air clean over there. I mean, I feel like just having some sunlight come through, which is impossible to do at our house because you love to keep our curtains closed. Like, I get that in the summer.

[B]

When you have a kid, you need it to be like 67 to 69 degrees. When you have the sun beating in our windows out.

[A]

Lower the air. We could just lower the temperature.

[B]

You're gonna burn out our ac.

[A]

Fine.

[B]

We're all windows. You have to just chill with the.

[A]

I just like. You can have them open during certain times of day, though.

[B]

Go in a different room. Go in a room for another room for sunlight.

[A]

We have this beautiful house with, like, these windows and we get so much nice natural light. I walk in and I'm like, am I in Dracula's dungeon? Because John just makes it. You are turning into little Nicky.

[B]

The sun is gonna. Is gonna stain or whatever the. All the furniture. Because it just beats on the furniture all day.

[A]

Oh, well, I mean, again. So you'd rather just live in darkness?

[B]

No, but just be selective. When we have it open the six.

[A]

Months out of the year that it's snowing in New York, that's when we can like, you know, that's when it's fine. We'll have the. So you're saying just like be depressed in the summer. Just keep the binds close.

[B]

Not all of them. One whole side of the house doesn't even have blinds. Sit over there. Why do you have to go in the living room where we actually had the blinds to keep? Because it's also beating on the AC unit like control, which I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

[A]

But you're just.

[B]

We should get a nas. We should get a nas, by the way.

[A]

Okay. Install it.

[B]

Okay. That's another reason why we can't homestead. Oh, something's broken. Unless I have someone on deck to come over, we're screwed.

[A]

I also feel like I would get way too emotionally attached to the animals, that if something did happen to them, I would be very depressed and spiral. I think it would just really hurt my feelings if anything happened. It would feel like my responsibility. Well. And it would be my responsibility if something happened to an animal. No, I couldn't do it. Also, you want to mow 11 acres of lawn?

[B]

No. Maybe. I don't know.

[A]

That's a lot.

[B]

If I'm a like drinking on the lawnmower. Maybe that's like my only pastime. Cuz I have no friends around the middle of.

[A]

You can't go to the grocery store. Uber eats doesn't come out to you.

[B]

I just got a beer helmet on, like driving around.

[A]

Yeah, that sounds like the life.

[B]

I used to mow the lawn. Like big lawnmower.

[A]

Where. When you grew up in Virginia, I was like, you've definitely. We've never had that much grass for you.

[B]

We like an acre and a half or something. So I just. I'd mow it. Yeah, that's right. I'm a country boy.

[A]

You really are.

[B]

I used to go mud bogging.

[A]

I know.

[B]

You don't even know what mud bogging is.

[A]

Isn't that where you like just drive through the mud?

[B]

Yeah, you got it.

[A]

Okay, so let's not. I like, I understand what that is.

[B]

And this podcast is also sponsored by Wayfair. We're stepping into a brand new chapter of life right now. And if there's ever a time when you need to stay organized, it's now.

[A]

Now, John. We gotta be organized.

[B]

I know, I know. Between preparing for what's ahead and just keeping our day to day routines running smoothly, I've realized our home needs to work with us, not against us.

[A]

Facts.

[B]

That's why I've been turning To Wayfair. Wayfair makes it so easy to refresh your space without distress. Whether it's updating our bedding and linens, adding more storage to keep the chaos under control, or finding the perfect piece of furniture that makes a room feel brand new, Wayfair really has everything in one place. And honestly, there's something exciting about refreshing our decor. And to match this new season of life, it makes the transition feel even more special.

[A]

I love new decor. Hold me back.

[B]

Literally, you can all the fall stuff. I know the best part. Wayfair has something for every style, every space, and every budget. Plus, they're free. And easy delivery, even the big stuff, means no hauling heavy boxes home or paying huge delivery fees. Oh, I like that.

[A]

Huge.

[B]

That's huge. No pun intended. We recently got a new rug. And now we did. We did.

[A]

It's so soft. We were talking.

[B]

Let me get through this.

[A]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

And not only was it super easy to shop, but it's instantly made our home feel calmer and more functional.

[A]

Cozier.

[B]

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[A]

And this episode is also sponsored by Branch Basics. I don't know how much more we could talk about the future that we're about to walk into, but we're about to have way more messes in this house as well. Tons between a baby on the way, our dog already acting like a full time vacuum shout out to Kobe, and just the chaos of daily life. It's clear he can't do all the cleanup work. And that's why I'm so relieved to have Branch Basics. Here's the thing. A lot of cleaning products don't list their ingredients, which is crazy when you think about how often we're spraying them around our family, our kids, our pets. Branch Basics is completely different. They're made safe, certified, they're plant and mineral based, and they actually tell you what's in their products. No harmful chemicals, no hidden fragrances, just simple, safe formulas that I trust to use all over my home. And the best part, Their concentrate is a game changer. One bottle turns into an all purpose cleaner, bathroom cleaner streak, free glass spray, you, even a laundry detergent. And if there's anything about us like we like to try to keep it simple. Right, John?

[B]

Right. Just cleaning the table.

[A]

Yes. It simplified our whole routine. Instead of a cabinet full of toxic products, we've got just one system that does it all. And, yes, it still gets the job done even better than the stuff that we've used before. It gives me so much peace of mind knowing that I don't have to choose between effective cleaning and keeping my home safe while growing our family. Just keeping us all protected and clean. Like that's all that you want. All we're asking have enough to think about. So if you're ready to clean up your home, I'm ready. Your health. Head to Branch Basics.com to shop their premium starter kit and save 15% with code straight.

[B]

15.

[A]

That's Branch Basics.com promo code straight for 15% off your first order. Make the change today, because your family and you. You got everybody. You. Yeah, you do matter.

[B]

Everyone matters.

[A]

You deserve better. Oh, my gosh. I just actually started the show hunting wives.

[B]

Another porn. Another daytime porn for not expect that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Every time I look up some chicks eating some other chick out, I'm like, all right, yeah, you enjoy yourself, Al.

[A]

Instead, an interesting show. Definitely, like, plot twists all around. I'm like, I did not expect this out of the show, but it's good.

[B]

So while Alex is watching the Netflix show, you know, I'm. I'm putting stuff together. I got my Bob Villa hat on. I put the crib together.

[A]

Oh, do you want to talk about that?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I built the crib. I need. Okay, one thing. A New Year's resolution for me this year is to not snap so quick and immediately go to, like, blame someone else or something else. So when I'm putting the crib together, I got it all together, and there's two screws that will not screw in. I lose my mind, and I'm like, this piece of. I swear to God, they gave me the wrong thing. And then I look and I was putting. I was using the wrong screw. But, like, immediately, instead of blaming myself for problem solving real quick, I immediately just go off the deep end. I'm like, I'm gonna call this company. Be like, I put this whole thing together. You didn't give me the right screws, though, in the past. Like, when goo and I put together, that does happen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Frame.

[A]

So I feel like that's something to unpack, you know? Like, I get getting annoyed at in that.

[B]

And that's a guy thing.

[A]

No, like, sometimes it will just, like, you know, random shit just will annoy you, but it's, like, from user error, and you're like, yeah. Just not frustrated.

[B]

But I hate wasting time, and I hate when I'm, like, doing something and I'm almost done and I spent two and a half hours and it's not fudgeing. So I put the crib together. I'm like, look at this thing. Great. Alex, help me bring it into the nursery. It doesn't fit through the fudgeing doorway, and I lose it again.

[A]

I just don't know why your first thought wasn't, let me build it in the room.

[B]

Because I want to film it. Because I was like, oh, this is cool. Let me film it. And I needed, like, more space. More space.

[A]

So now what are we doing today?

[B]

So now Alex's dad's coming with, like, a drill.

[A]

We're gonna take it apart. I'm not taking up. You're gonna take it apart and put it back together.

[B]

Great.

[A]

But, oh, man, it's like a rite.

[B]

Of passage, though, you know, the dad's gotta put the. The bed together. Whatever it's called. Cradle.

[A]

Yeah, the crib.

[B]

Crib.

[A]

Yeah. It's just. It's exciting for me to think that by the time this episode airs, or maybe the next one. Or maybe the next one, she'll be here. Fingers crossed, hopefully.

[B]

And fingers crossed, the crib, you know, is. Makes it through functional and solid.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I do want to talk about a milestone that I've hit in pregnancy, which is where she's just punching through your chest. That. Did you feel her last night?

[B]

I was like.

[A]

Scares me. She wakes me up. But no, unfortunately, not that. It's. What?

[B]

You're cute.

[A]

It's where I can no longer see my vagine.

[B]

You're there.

[A]

You're tearing up. And.

[B]

Am I tearing up?

[A]

Let me talk about my.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

You are. Oh, John.

[B]

Oh, my eyes just hurt. I'm tired.

[A]

Hold my hand.

[B]

My team.

[A]

It's crazy, I know. Well, we're almost there.

[B]

What?

[A]

Look it.

[B]

No. Something was in my eyes.

[A]

I know. We're almost there. I'm just, like. I'm tired. I know.

[B]

Like, I. I'm tired.

[A]

I think for me, I'm sweating.

[B]

Am I pregnant?

[A]

Until she's here. But no, I do want to talk about this because every time, like, I feel like women who were pregnant would be like, oh, yeah, like, you can't see your cooch anymore. And I'm like, that's like. There's got to be an angle that you can view her from.

[B]

I can get a mirror and you can look at it.

[A]

I mean, I just, like, it's Weird to have this part of my body that I've known my whole life, and I can't see her anymore. And I'm just like, every angle. It's like I bend over and like my belly is still in the way. I thought that was a joke.

[B]

Grow.

[A]

No. So anyway, I was like, maybe I just, like, want to clean her up, you know, today just. I'm like. But I will do it blindly because this is a path that I have known my whole life. It's like weed whacking through a forest that I've known I could do it for you.

[B]

I just don't want to shave one of your lips off.

[A]

But I don't. I don't want someone else to, like, garden my. My garden. Like, I just. I should be able to do it, you know, like, eyes closed. I should have these. These pathways memorized.

[B]

I shave my face in the shower.

[A]

Yeah. And so I'm doing it and it just feels like I'm like, I do. I know my body. I don't. So it took me like 30 minutes, I think, in the shower. I was just like, blindly navigating these.

[B]

Roads and I'm using my shower cream. Shaving cream. No, you don't use shaving cream.

[A]

I didn't use your shaving cream to shave my cooch. No, I did not. But probably, I mean, again, I still have weeks until we get there. I'm probably just going to have to shave again. No. Say, let her.

[B]

Let her. Yeah.

[A]

What do people do? Like, do.

[B]

What do you think chicks did in the 80s?

[A]

But yeah, I don't know. Maybe I will utilize your services the closer that we actually got it.

[B]

I'm here.

[A]

I don't leave. Drop it in the comments. What do you guys do? Just let her. Let her rip. Trim her up.

[B]

I think it's just a mirror.

[A]

Set up a wax appointment.

[B]

Yeah. Why don't you just do that?

[A]

I don't know. I just feel like, like, is it even worth it? Like, am I. I'm not even going to care.

[B]

Also, like, your obs. Everyone is going to be women that are, like, in the delivery room.

[A]

So it's not more of that. It's more like a comfortable thing. Like, I don't like it to get too long because then it's just uncomfortable.

[B]

Honestly, I don't cool what I feel like you're gonna be like. And on pubes are our questions for today are.

[A]

Yeah, the segue of our. Of our topic today is genitals. No, it's not. It actually is about breakups and exes and divorce, which I think is interesting because I feel like I've heard people say this a lot and I wanted to know what your opinion on it is. What are your thoughts when someone says marriage is hard?

[B]

Depends on who you marry. Depends on your partner. I don't think it's hard.

[A]

Yeah, like if someone tells me marriage is hard, I'm like, well, then you're married to the wrong person.

[B]

Yeah, I think life is hard, parenting's hard. And then all those tick tocks we see, it's like, no, I didn't marry a loser. You know, Right.

[A]

Or no, no, not parenting is hard. It's. Wow, your father or your, your husband is so hands on.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

With the kid. And it's like, yeah, because I didn't marry a fucking loser. See, But I don't know. I can't. Again, I don't want to like jump into parenting being hard or not because we don't know yet. But when it comes to marriage and when people say marriage is hard, I feel like marriage is not hard. Life is hard. And so when you're navigating the hard things of, of life with the wrong person, it might feel like marriage is hard, but marriage is the fun part. Like you're going through life with your bestie besties and make it makes the hard parts of life easier.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I think my life has been better since being married.

[A]

I didn't pay him to say that.

[B]

No, it's just like who you choose in life. And again, you can't do that all willy nillily. What? Willy nilly? Willy nilly. All willy nilly.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I think some people just get married, like settle without thinking about it. Just like getting, having a kid and not thinking about that. Like two massive decisions in your life.

[A]

A lot of people make decisions without thinking of them. But yeah, I think that when you're marrying someone, it should be someone who's enhancing your life. Like someone who's going to push you, make you a better person, but vice versa. You guys have to be pushing each other to be better people. But it's not like you couldn't survive without this person. It's more just like you, you make each other better people.

[B]

Yeah. And also I saw this billionaire guy is like the number one thing you could do in your life. Like the, the biggest decision of your life is who you marry for sure. Who's your partner. This thing's going through my eyeball.

[A]

Why didn't you like gel it back?

[B]

I did.

[A]

Do you want like A clip? A hair clip.

[B]

Do you have one with you right now?

[A]

I could go get a bobby pin.

[B]

No, it's okay.

[A]

I don't have a bobby pin on me, but I could bobby pin it back for you.

[B]

You don't have any, like. Like a hair tie?

[A]

It's in my hair.

[B]

Oh, I'll sacrifice. You can keep your hair tie in.

[A]

Do you want a clip or this scrunchie?

[B]

The clip. All right. Did we answer that question?

[A]

We didn't answer any question. I didn't ask a question.

[B]

That wasn't a question.

[A]

I just was asking your opinion about what people like.

[B]

Oh, let's get to the question.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, but, like, that's what, you know, I just was like, when people break up, sometimes you should, like, because you want to be with someone who's good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because marriage isn't hard.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's so much better. Don't you feel better?

[B]

I feel so much better now.

[A]

That's great. All right, so let's jump into questions. First question. My husband and I have been together for over 15 years, married for seven, and we have a one and a half year old. We are currently going through a separation originally mutually agreed upon, but now that I'm feeling more like myself after suffering through more severe postpartum experience than I expected, I want to work on our marriage because I still love him, but I don't think he feels the same. How do I move on from a relationship I'm not ready to give up on? But I know he isn't in love.

[B]

With me anymore, so he's. He's done and she's trying to make it work.

[A]

Sounds like they've been together for a while. They have a one and a half year old. Postpartum experience was hard. So now they're separating and she's asking.

[B]

How to stay with him.

[A]

She's. She doesn't want to get divorced. She wants to try, but she thinks that he's over it.

[B]

I mean, there's not much you can do if he's like, I'm done.

[A]

Well, her question is, how do I move on from a relationship I'm not ready to give up on? Don't like, especially after postpartum. I think that's one piece of advice that we heard was don't use the D word. Divorce in the first year of having a baby.

[B]

Shouldn't use it at all, ever, you know, joking around. It's just not something that should be played around with. Like, make it. Keep it taboo, you know, like, to Say that word too, because it's also like a. It's like training your mind, you know?

[A]

Yeah. I just can't with that clip in your hair. Yes. I just think that you went through. You went through a really a life changing experience. Having a kid does put a lot of pressure on your marriage in different ways. I don't know. Can you not have a conversation with him and just be like, let's try couples counseling before we really call it quits?

[B]

Right. I mean, you're talking about postpartum. Like, there's a lot of issue, like, a lot of things that are going on that are out of your control. If it's like hormonally. Hormonally, yeah. And again, you get married to be a team, it doesn't seem like anything bad has occurred between you two. It's just anytime there's a life changing event, you're gonna go through some sort of learning period. Like, I know we are. And you just have to know, like, there's light at the end of the tunnel to give up on a relationship just because something's hard. I don't know. I. Like, you could work on that. Nothing. Neither one of you did anything wrong, right? So, I mean, yeah, I guess there sounds like you just fall out of love. But if you're not ready to give up, then therapy, talking to your partner, discussing about the postpartum journey you've been on. There's a lot of things you can do. If you're like, oh, but I'm just gonna have to move on. That's hard. Like, especially when you don't want to give up on the relationship. It would just be a time thing. It's time. Everything just takes time.

[A]

If you would look back and regret not fighting for your marriage more, then I think that you have to have this conversation and do whatever it takes to try to make it work. And again, if he's not there, you. You can walk away from that relationship knowing that you did everything that you could. But the fact that, like, you're writing into us asking. I just think you're not ready to move on yet. I don't think that you have to move on until you've exhausted all of your options. So keep trying. Best of luck.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

Next question. Hi, guys. So my husband was married before me to his high school girlfriend. They got divorced because she cheated on him. They had no kids, so the divorce was cut and dry. We met, got married, and have been together for six years. Married for two. The thing that bothers me is that she still has his last name. It drives me wild because they don't have kids, so it's not like she's keeping it for them. And she's the one who cheated. Personally, I would not want to keep that last name if I cheated on my husband. I just don't know why it bothers me so much. Do you think this is normal?

[B]

Maybe she's just way too lazy to change about 100%. That's the only thing I'm thinking. Because. Yeah.

[A]

Or is your husband a celebrity? Like if you were married to.

[B]

Or does he have a cool last name?

[A]

True. Is his last name better than her maiden name? Just. That's it. Diesel. That's the coolest last name you could think of?

[B]

I think that's a sick last name.

[A]

It is. It is a good one. I don't know that I would change it if my last name was Diesel or Rooster. Alex Diesel. John Diesel.

[B]

John Diesel.

[A]

It's really. It's probably either just laziness or, you.

[B]

Know, actually, maybe she's just. In spite of you.

[A]

I knew someone. True. I knew someone who I went to college with. Um, he was an NFL football player. His a big one. You guys would know. But we only went to school together for one year. But his wife, they got divorced within like the first year of graduating. I think she kept the last. I don't know if she still has it, but I remember looking her up like six years after was remarried. Yeah. And she still hadn't changed her last name. And I was thinking maybe it's more of a clout thing. I don't know. I think it's more of a couldn't. Like she's. It's probably just laziness because I could see where someone would keep the same last name for the kid's purpose or.

[B]

I'm not gonna pretend like I know why this chick did it. But we're giving all the reasons potentially why.

[A]

Right.

[B]

In spite of you too lazy to change it.

[A]

Your husband is cool.

[B]

Husband's cool. Or she's crazy.

[A]

Or your husband has cool last name.

[B]

Okay. So four or five. Yeah.

[A]

There's a few reasons there.

[B]

But are you. I. I guess I could see why you'd be annoyed, but I wouldn't. What are you gonna do about it? I wouldn't let that ruin your day.

[A]

No. And she might also not want to change it back to her maiden name until she's ready to remarry. Does that make sense too? Like, I feel like if we got divorced. If I knew that I Wanted to. Or if I had a potential suitor that I was planning to remarry shortly after, I would just wait until. Because changing a name, I mean, it's such a fucking bitch. So I don't know. I don't think it needs to bother you. I get it. But, like, I think there's lots of reasons why it could be normal.

[B]

Cry over spilled milk.

[A]

That I don't think is the correct analogy to use.

[B]

You miss all the shots you don't take.

[A]

All right, let's move on. My best friend broke up with her boyfriend recently. We had a girls night, as one does after a breakup, and she shared her concerns about the guy, everything going wrong in the relationship, and we ended the night all agreeing that this guy was not for her. We even shared our feelings about him, which she agreed were valid. Well, now they're back together. How can I be there for her as a friend if they break up again? And after everything that she said between us, this is an on and off again relationship. But it was the first time she really opened up to us about everything.

[B]

I mean, you don't have to be there for her. I miss. Why would she want any of you guys to be there for her after you all just ripped her boyfriend a new asshole?

[A]

I mean, I think that there's different categories in which this works. Like, I have friends who have been on and off with their boyfriends and ended up marrying them. Then there's that whole healing period when they get back together of trying to get your friends to retrust your ex because of all the things that you either said that they did or that they did actually do. So there's that, but then there's the category of friend who, like, you just have to cut off because they, like, continue in this toxic cycle and they don't actually listen to your feedback and they open up, they vent, they tell you these things, and they don't actually make change. They just, like, go back to what's comfortable for them. So I think it really just depends if they break up again. I just think you have to know that there's still the possibility of them getting back together again.

[B]

So the friend that you. You said one of the options was like, the friend with the healing process trying to get the other friends to, like, support again. Don't ever do that to me. Like, any of my friends, I'd be like, if you try to force me into, like, rekindling this friendship with your.

[A]

Ex opens up about the wrongs that their ex did. They're like, yo, I've. I'm over this girl. She was a twat. The worst.

[B]

Done.

[A]

You're.

[B]

I'm done.

[A]

You're not. You're done with her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if they get back.

[B]

So my friend should know that about me. If you want my advice and you don't take my advice, I'm probably just gonna. I'm like, no, no, it's not even.

[A]

Necessarily taking your advice. It's the fact that, like, they've opened up to you about, like, the wrongs that their ex have done. You all agree that this person isn't good for you. And now they're back together. It's like you're not really listening.

[B]

Well, you're not going to sway my opinion. Like, I'm not the one with this person. You are right. I don't like this person. And you definitely know now that I don't like this person. Don't try to fucking convince me to be friends with them. The milk has been spilled.

[A]

There. It works. Yeah, I just. There's a lot of. I think this is. This is pretty normal though. This happens because people, again, they break up, they get back together, whatever. But I think in a cycle situation, you also have to protect your piece and just know that, like, this friend doesn't know what she wants, clearly.

[B]

So actually just helps me out even more. I'm like, now. Now she even knows, like, or he knows. I don't. I won't hang out that person. I don't have to. It's not just hang out with you independently.

[A]

How many times do you think that you would give a friend to break up with their ex? Like, a chance? Like, how. How many chances would you give the.

[B]

Depends on the situation.

[A]

I mean, I guess you just said zero. Once they break up, they're broken up in your brain.

[B]

Yeah, but if I just find annoying, like, whatever. But if they're doing some horrible. If they've done something horrible, I'm pretty quick to be like, don't ever talk to me again. And that's been in the past.

[A]

And that's true too. I think it depends on the type of dynamic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, why did they break up? What were the. What were the reasons?

[B]

If the ex is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive, I'm out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

100%. So don't come back to me.

[A]

Right. But yeah. Again you ask the question, how can I be there for her as a friend if they break up again after everything that she said? You just have to let that cookie crumble. Let's keep going with analogies.

[B]

Don't throw rocks at glass houses.

[A]

Didn't give an answer. You just. You could be there for her but you also have to know that there's very. The real. I think we did say before, there's the real possibility that they're going to get back together again. So you just have to be careful, tread lightly. Unless you don't care. And then you just give your opinions. But they probably will. It's a cycle. Sometimes people just gotta fucking learn on their own. And then they don't.

[B]

Damn. I was thinking of another analogy and I couldn't find think of one.

[A]

The glass houses ones.

[B]

Why did that one cookie crumbles. I know you already said lead a horse to water. That was, that was the one. I was like something with horse tales.

[A]

Yeah. Next question. My husband and I are divorcing. After being together for over 20 years. He had a long term affair. And while I tried everything to keep my family intact, he refused counseling. After two years of giving it my all, I finally stepped away. My issue is, is that my ex has introduced his girlfriend, the woman he cheated on me with for three years, to our children who are 10 and 12. Initially my kids didn't know that their dad had cheated. But my daughter found out after I learned he'd brought her around. My ex is pissed that I told our daughter the truth about what he did and the role this woman played. Having her in my kids lives makes me cringe. My ex says it's not his business who I date and he hasn't said anything bad about my relationship. Not that he could since he's never met my partner and I didn't cheat. He also says that it's not my business who he dates. Am I wrong for not wanting this homewrecking whore around my kids?

[B]

We can never split up. I can't imagine how. How shitty that is.

[A]

Oh, having to. Because I would hate that Custody with your kid.

[B]

Oh my God. Well no, that's fine. Like I want to reprieve. I would definitely do like oh, you're.

[A]

Like we should get divorced just so that we can have some alone time.

[B]

I would make sure that it's 50, 50 custody for sure. But no, the relationships with the different dynamics and different. That would be horrible.

[A]

I just think if you guys are divorced or divorcing, it's inevitable that he's going to introduce your kids to his partner.

[B]

Yeah but like you could be pissed at that homewrecker for sure. Sure. But it's again like you said, inevitable. He's. You're all going to date different people.

[A]

I also don't know the legalities around, like, are lawyers involved when you. When your ex is dating someone or, like, has people around your kids that you don't want them around? You know what I mean? Or is it just, like, you just cross your fingers?

[B]

I don't know how detailed a contract is with, like, custody. With your kids.

[A]

Yeah, because, like, let's just say, like, we do split, and I'm like, I need to meet whoever you're dating before. Like, is that something that you can put into a contract or, like, some sort of.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

Probably not. I have no idea. But I don't know. I just think that, like, you, he's. He's not wrong in that you don't have control over what he does now anymore. You just have to, I guess, trust that he has the safety of your children in mind. Like, their best interest in mind. I don't know, like. And then same thing with you. Would you want him to be controlling who you date or who you introduce your kids to?

[B]

The question is, does she have a right to be mad at this homewrecker? Yeah, you do. That's. Of course, there's nothing you could do about it. But, yeah, you're not a.

[A]

She doesn't want her around the kids. That's it.

[B]

You're not going to be able to stop that. I don't know. Unless she's abusive or doing something to the kids. Like, I don't know how you're gonna. Again. We've never been divorced, so we don't know the legalities around what you can and can cannot do with lawyers and blah, blah, blah. I don't care.

[A]

It's complicated. I feel like, again, my brain can't even comprehend because I'm just. Just like, who's. What? Lawyer? What's. Who's allowed to do what? And if you've cheated. I don't know, there's just.

[B]

I'm more shocked that you're. The dude cheated on you. And then you're like, after two years, I finally called it quits. Like, what?

[A]

I guess because. Wait, let me see. When she found out. Oh, yeah. Two years. After two years of giving it all, I finally stepped away.

[B]

And he didn't want to go to therapy. He didn't want to do anything. You just, like, that's rough. Whatever. I'm glad you're happy now with your new partner. Next question.

[A]

My best friend is dating a married man. They've been seeing each other for over a Year, he says he's divorcing his wife. They have no kids together, but he's struggling because he loves their dog. Unfortunately, the dog passed away at the end of last year, but at the beginning of the year, they got another dog, he claims. His wife has mentioned that they're heading for divorce, but no one has made a move. They still live together and sleep in the same bed. I love my best friend, but she's being an idiot. She knows my feelings, and I want to barf every time they're together and say, I love you. I'm trying to do the her mistakes, not mine thing, but she's being an idiot. Right.

[B]

Who's got the dog?

[A]

So her friend is dating a married man. The man has a dog with his wife. I mean, yeah, obviously. Like, this guy's not leaving his wife. Your friend. Your friend is just hoping and waiting. This guy's getting his cake and eating it too, and you're just watching on the sidelines, and I think that's all that you can do. Pop some popcorn, watch this shit. The fan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I don't. There's nothing you could do. You're not.

[B]

You friends stupid. Your friends dumb. And you need to protect your peace.

[A]

Yeah. I think you just. It's a.

[B]

Again.

[A]

Got to let it happen.

[B]

The minute she starts talking, just like, shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

[A]

And that's it.

[B]

You want to go watch F1 or something? I'm. I'm your person. You want to talk about your stupid relationship? Because I want to go. I want to go see it. We were talking.

[A]

We haven't seen it yet. We should go watch it.

[B]

Yeah, I want. If it's an imax.

[A]

I don't think it's in theaters anymore. It's been out for, like, 100 years.

[B]

Think about all this, like, petty bullshit people are going through. We're like, let's go watch F1.

[A]

I would just go for popcorn. I love movie theater popcorn. But that's what you should do. Pop the popcorn.

[B]

Watch your everyone should do. Just mind your own business and protect your mental peace, and you'll be so much happier. Let people destroy their own lives.

[A]

Facts.

[B]

You know what? And then just feel good about yours. Be like, wow, I'm not that loser. My life's great, and that's on good mental health.

[A]

Well, you might have your own shit going on, but, like, it's not other people's business to worry about. It's not their burden. To carry just like this isn't yours. Who cares? Like yeah, your friends don't annoying. If you don't want to hear about her relationship, then because it's ruining your mental health, say shut the fuck up. This man isn't leaving his wife. I don't want to hear you complain about it. Move on. Talk about the weather. Next question.

[B]

Hey Alex and John, what's up?

[A]

Would love to hear your thoughts on something that's brought out some wildly different reactions. I'm getting divorced. The reason I don't want kids. My husband does. That's it. We talked about it from the start. I always said I probably didn't want children but left the door cracked in case I changed my mind. Unlikely. He always said he wanted kids, but not as a deal breaker. We revisited the topic often over the years, but nothing changed until it did. Less than a year into our marriage, he admitted having children is a deal breaker for him. After a lot of hard, respectful conversations, we made the painful but mutual decision to part ways. The most surprising thing was people's reactions.

[B]

The most surprising thing was the you guys didn't really agree on the kid thing beforehand, but keep going.

[A]

Some say I'm so sorry with deep sympathy. Others go full fire emoji with good for you energy like I escaped something awful. My parents are offended at him for choosing me over the kids before the wedding, then changing his mind. I don't feel betrayed. I think it's fair to reprioritize something as life defining as parenthood, but I can't talk them out of being upset. His family meanwhile thinks we're making a mistake and should see stay married longer just in case one of us changes our mind. But that feels like we're gambling with our lives. Some people think we shouldn't have gotten married without a 100% locked in plan about kids. But we did talk about it early and often. We made the best decision we could with the information we had. So what do you think is the appropriate way to react when someone says that they're getting divorced? Should my parents chill out or should I be more mad? Were we in the wrong to get married without certainty about kids?

[B]

I think she has like a good head on her shoulders. Like how she wrote this question out. I don't think you should be more mad at anyone. Everyone's gonna react differently. You guys did have a conversation beforehand. People do. Do I always go back and forth this do people change?

[A]

I know, I know. That's why I said hypocrites all the time because we will say one thing, and then we'll say something.

[B]

I think age has to do with the two. Like, I mean, I was not. I guess I was 29 when I met you.

[A]

But like, you, I think your values can remain the same. But, like, yeah, you ultimately grow. And, like, when we had the conversation about kids, we were both not sure. And so we were both like, okay, well, we'll leave the door open. It's not necessarily a deal breaker one way or another, but we both were.

[B]

Honest with each other. If. If he's. The thing is, I guess he lied.

[A]

No, no, no. But that's the thing is, at that time, they were probably honest with each other. She's saying, yeah, that, like, now he's realized a deal breaker is a year.

[B]

Into it, he said.

[A]

Right. But maybe.

[B]

Oh, because it changed, you think?

[A]

Yeah, like, maybe he did change. Like, maybe he truly. And so that's where it's like, you can't fault someone if they truly. And that's what I. Like what she said, where she was like, we did what we could. We made the decisions that we could with the information that we had. You can't fault someone for making a decision based on how they were feeling at that period in their lives. And so, I don't know. I think that, you know, I would say that you guys are more the exception to this. Like, not necessarily the rule when it comes to the conversation about kids. I think a lot of people, not everyone know if they for sure do want to have kids or not, but I think you do. You can change. And I think the fact that it's mutual, it's amicable, it doesn't sound like you guys hate each other. I don't think this is a bad thing. Who cares? Who cares what other people think about your choice to get divorced because you don't want kids and he does.

[B]

They've been together for a while, doesn't.

[A]

Say how long they've been together, but it just says less than a year into their marriage, he admitted having children is a deal breaker for him. So, yeah, maybe it's something he could have potentially known prior to walking down the aisle, but.

[B]

Cool. But if you're young and he's like, no, like, I mean, you could wait a little bit longer. Again, I don't know. Unless you've been together for a long, like, a while.

[A]

Oh, actually, she wrote, additional context. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. We met in our late 20s, dated for three years, were engaged for one year, married for less than a year. So they've been together for four and a half years, and she goes, every other aspect of our relationship was a slam dunk.

[B]

So you're not gonna. To find someone that checks all the boxes is so rare.

[A]

But if he wants kids and she knows that she doesn't, should they stay together just because of that, you know.

[B]

Like, no, but I'm like, they've only been. They've only been married a year. You can give it a little more time. You're what, 33 and pregnant? Like, you got some time. You have time. You don't have to, like, rush into.

[A]

Like, these big decisions. But I don't know, maybe he does want it now. I don't know.

[B]

Chill the fuck out.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you could look at it at any way. Everyone's so, like, we need to make a choice.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

Yeah, but I get not wanting to necessarily, like, waste each other's times. If you're that sure in your decision.

[B]

You know, I know you can't say for a fact 100% on anything ever, but shit happens.

[A]

But I'm saying she might truly know kids are not for me. And then he is saying they are for me. I just think you guys have made the decision, the mutual decision, and if they come back to find each other down the road because neither of them ended up having kids or maybe, like, if someone changes their mind, great. But I think again, you're making the decision based off the information that you have.

[B]

Like, and can you live without them? Can he live without you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That should be your actual question, right? Are you gonna have a what if in the back of your mind? Think about it. Look internally a little bit harder.

[A]

Yeah, but you still might have a what if.

[B]

That's fine. But if. Regardless, if this is your whatever. Next question.

[A]

I. I don't think you need to listen to other people's opinions. You don't even need to listen to our opinion. I think that you, in your gut know what's right, and you and your partner made that decision together. So. Next question. I have a question about telling a potential new partner about being divorced. Quick rundown. I married my high school boyfriend. We started dating at 15, got married at 18 because he went into the military. He was physically abusive from about two years into our relationship until we divorced when I was 22. It's not something that I share with most people, including friends and family, because I feel so stupid for being in that position, but I know I was a child and should give myself some grace. Now, a few years later, I'm finally Starting to date again. But I feel a lot of shame about explaining my past to a potential partner. Would you want to know right away that someone you're interested in is divorced? Would you give the extensive background details or let them come out later? I'm hesitant to share such vulnerable details early on, but I also want to be upfront so they can decide if it's deal breaker.

[B]

You answer first. Go ahead.

[A]

Well, I was going to say divorce, to me, is not as much of a deal breaker in a relationship as maybe someone having a kid. Like, I think someone having a kid that's a big part of someone else's life that I think is information that should be upfront prior to getting into. Deep into a relationship. A divorce. If, like, we were on date three and you told me about a divorce, that wouldn't bug me like that. You didn't tell me on date one because it's not like, this huge.

[B]

All the cards should be on the table before any sort of, like, contract is in place.

[A]

Like commitment, you mean?

[B]

Yeah, I think so. Because I think it'll be fucked.

[A]

Because you want to know date one.

[B]

No. Yeah, I don't want. But, like, when it's serious and both parties know when a relationship. Relationship becomes serious, you need to have all your cards on the table because that is unfair to the other person in the party that doesn't know that information that may or may not be a deal breaker for them.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And you can't dictate what's acceptable and what's not in someone else's choice of partner.

[A]

Yeah, but I just don't think that, like, you're necessarily hiding anything by not saying anything on date one. I don't know that you need. Well, who the.

[B]

Why would. Another thing. Don't be that person that tells your life story in 45 minutes of knowing someone. When you're around someone and they're like, oh, I was born this.

[A]

But to what extent? Because again, if, like, you pass away and I go on a date with someone, date one, I'm gonna be like, I have a daughter. You know, like, is that telling my whole life story? And then I would. I have to be like, in general.

[B]

Just like my husband John.

[A]

He got. He wanted to. He was holding beans in the grocery store. I think I got it for a movie, and he left me.

[B]

I think some people sometimes want to, like, rip the Bandit off too quick, right? Where it's like. Because you're throwing a lot of information at someone on the first go, and it's like, learn about each other first. Because I don't know you. You be the hottest person ever and you, you tell me a lot of information back to our first date.

[A]

Like, what information did I get from John that was.

[B]

We just laughed a lot and I was annoyed. I kept talking about my car and I just slammed into the side.

[A]

You were annoyed that I ordered pizza, and then you were annoyed that you hit your car that day. And I remember you telling me what you did for work.

[B]

And I was going to be date one. Just be light and fun and just see if you vibe check.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

If you go into every single first date and dates like an interview, cool. I get that. But like, you're. I think you're gonna strike out more if you just throw all your, like any baggage you have in your life. Not talking about kid. Like, any baggage in your life, and you throw it on the first date you're gonna fucking.

[A]

I'm just laughing now because it's like I meet someone in a grocery store and I'm like, yeah, thank you. I'm pregnant now. I had a late term loss last year. I know, I know. I don't. But on a date, like, I could talk to someone. Like, I could tell that to a stranger. But a date who you, like, are trying to be romantically involved with, like, like, you know, pump the brakes a minute.

[B]

I've been incarcerated for. I think you're fine.

[A]

You're fine. Don't stress about it. This isn't. And if it's a deal breaker by date two or three, it's like you wasted their time.

[B]

The likelihood that that person's also a divorcee is pretty high.

[A]

True. Yeah, that's true. Next question. My husband and I have been married for three years, together for five. We've always talked about how important loyalty is and how committed we are to each other. A few years ago, I found a digital folder he kept of photos of his exes from high school school. Not the most risque, but clearly not just friendly pictures. He said he forgot about it and hadn't gotten around to deleting it. I was frustrated, but let it go. And he promised to delete the folder, which he did, to my knowledge. Not long after that, I found that he'd been following girls, posting mostly spicy content and liking their post. One of them he messaged, he swore it was just friendly because her content was about cars while she was half naked in front of them. I confronted him. He apologized and unfollowed them. Within that last year, I found more accounts posting similar Content and again saw him liking their post. Same thing. He apologized and unfollowed. It's been a while since I've seen anything. But last night I found more accounts he follows this time. Not the most risque, but still skinny influencers and tight leggings with big butts and girls he went to high school with. Am I the asshole for snooping or should he be better about this? It's hurtful because he tells me he loves me the way that I am, but I don't look anything like these girls. I don't care that he follows them. I just don't think it's necessary to like only the risque photos. Do you have like a Finster John that you just like these photos from? What is that a fake insta?

[B]

No, I have the one. I could barely control John's algorithm and.

[A]

I feel like that is the most telling. And we've probably talked about this before.

[B]

Would you care though?

[A]

Like, you open up the Explore page and I feel like if it was like all like girl, hot girls, whatever, perhaps like maybe that would rub me the wrong way.

[B]

Would it really?

[A]

But it's all pop culture or like weird AI transition video.

[B]

The reason it's pop culture is because I follow like our account and you. We're like female based stuff, so of course. No, that's breaking up with who's going to be on mine again.

[A]

An anaconda regurgitating a bird. Or like we've talked about that.

[B]

Or like in. It turns into cage.

[A]

A dog biting a little girl and the girl turns into cake or Indian street food. It's like the most bizarre. But I don't know, I just.

[B]

Here, here's the. The line that should be drawn again. Everyone's different. Him liking. Liking it is weird. What is you liking it. It's like you're in hopes of engagement or messaging someone. Of course that, but. But even the like part is the. Or even following like, dude, I'll. If I see a chick with big tits on Instagram. Yeah, sure, I've seen it. I'm not gonna like it. And like, you draw the line somewhere.

[A]

You can also go and look at that content whenever. You don't need to follow them either. I just.

[B]

The thing that annoys me think of my mom. I saw my mom on the porch the other day. She's like going through Instagram. It's just like guys are blatantly on steroids, like throwing up weights and stuff. I'm like. And she's just swiping through.

[A]

She's Like, I don't know. This is just like, what? My algorithm. She sends it to me.

[B]

She's like, how? Like, why am I not like that? I'm like, mom, these guys are genetically enhanced with.

[A]

That's the best part. Because then, like, my dad will show me his. Your dad will show. I'm like, you guys built your algorithms brick by brick.

[B]

Like, you don't pretend like. I don't why it's on my feet. It's like, it's all chicks or it's all dudes.

[A]

I should see my mom's. My mom's is probably cookbooks.

[B]

Cook. Religion.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And almonds.

[A]

Oils.

[B]

Vegetables. Vegetables in the garden.

[A]

Being a grandma.

[B]

What if your mom's actually just like. That's actually disgusting.

[A]

What if it's like, yes, my mom's a freak, but yeah. No. What annoys me about your husband is that you keep catching him in these situations, and he doesn't give a fuck. Like, he apologizes, he unfollows, but then he does it again. And the messaging, like, what the fuck are you messaging another girl for?

[B]

Doesn't make any sense.

[A]

I mean, am I the asshole for snooping, or should he be better about this? That's the question. No, he's given you a reason to snoop. And are you snooping when likes are public? Likes are public. That's not snooping.

[B]

I just don't understand what. What you think you're going to get out of liking a photo. Messaging is so dumb. I get that, but the liking part, I'm like, what is your thought process in liking the photo? I don't get it.

[A]

I don't know. Maybe because it saves his likes and he could look back at it later.

[B]

Where's that? There's a tab. There's a tab where you could say.

[A]

I think you could go to, like, your liked photos or, like, your liked videos.

[B]

I didn't know that. Okay, okay.

[A]

Changing. Changing. He's like, oh, okay. I don't know.

[B]

I mean, he's in the wrong. The answer is he's in the wrong. He doesn't care because he keeps doing it. But I'm like, just look at it like a normal person and scroll on.

[A]

But we're not here to give him advice. We're here to give her advice. But I guess it's not like she asked for advice. She just said, well, the guys.

[B]

You're not an. He's not respecting you. I think that's a slap in the face. He's like, yeah, cool. Cool. I'm just gonna Keep liking these naked.

[A]

Chicks photos and then try to be more sneaky about it.

[B]

Why don't you tell us what the message said?

[A]

Yeah. Context.

[B]

I like that car you're grinding on.

[A]

I think like, dudes I'd be interested to see too. Like, is he even interested in cars or is he just like, I loved Megan Fox from Transformers and that's as far as it goes. Yeah. You're not an asshole. He's disrespecting you. And he's not very tech savvy because he's not very good at hiding it. Like you can just view and scroll. I just, I don't understand.

[B]

I feel like I need to give like a advice to men into, like, where you can toe the line of.

[A]

Getting your fix from the hotties on the Internet.

[B]

Toeing the line of like, slightly disrespectful, but in a way that it's like, somewhat. Okay, there's.

[A]

There's no need to be disrespectful. I think it like goes without.

[B]

Well, what do you think? Because everyone's different. Like when you see chicks in bikinis.

[A]

And stuff like that reaction to like, find like, I. You could. I think that you can appreciate someone's looks but not be physically attracted to them where you would want to act on it. Like, I can, I can appreciate a good looking man and still be like, but I'm in love with my husband. I don't need to let this person.

[B]

Know that I like, connect from. Yeah.

[A]

Like just how I can see a hot woman and you know, it goes. And appreciate her. It goes both.

[B]

Are we, Are we to Lulu? I just like, don't care. I don't care if you're, if you watch porn or you're whatever. Like, I just don't care. And I know everyone's priorities, but I.

[A]

Think you care when it starts impacting your relationship. So like, maybe that's what it really boils down to is like, you and I don't want to say that you're being insecure by caring that your man is liking other folks.

[B]

No, the messaging thing is different. We're kind of moving on from them. And just like, in general, like, where people don't toe the line and they always go on the wrong side. They lead, they lead into like error. Too much. I don't know. I just, we talk so much and it's like, like we know what we're doing. I don't know. I, I don't get what the issue is.

[A]

I also am just like you to me, are like, the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

[B]

Stop. No.

[A]

Like, I every day would embarrassing. Would lick your sweaty balls. No, but really, like, I just look at you and I don't know if it's because, like, we do just have a good relationship that I'm attracted to you, but, like, I don't see other guys and think, like, wow, what would my life be like with this hottie, you know, hottie Patti.

[B]

Like, I know that's weird. So that's a. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't fantasize.

[B]

I think it's people that aren't happy people. If you're not happy in your relationship, then you start fantasizing on, like, what your life would be like with someone else. Prime example. The chick who works out really hard. Guy didn't. And she starts fantasizing about the guy.

[A]

Get a wandering eye.

[B]

But she. She's like, I don't want to act on it, but she has a wandering eye. And then she even said, thinking about what it would be like to be with the guy with the chiseled body or whatever. Right, because you're not happy in your relationship.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

He's not happy. So you should see that red flag there and figure out what's going on before something worse happens. Right now it's just little likes and messages. Next, he's paying for a hooker on the street.

[A]

Exactly. It's gonna snowball so fucking fast, your head will spin.

[B]

Maybe not drains the bank account, but.

[A]

I think that's ultimately what it is. Like when you are happily in a relationship. I don't see I can appreciate another attractive person without looking at them and fantasizing about them. Because I'm like, I got the best piece of dessert at home.

[B]

Even if you did, I again, I wouldn't care. I mean, you're just watching something.

[A]

Something.

[B]

It doesn't bother me. You're not interacting with the per. That's what we're talking about. Like, you watching or looking at naked people. I don't care. And I think that's what. Everyone's different. But you're not acting on anything, and that's the difference. Cool.

[A]

Moving on.

[B]

Moving on. I think we got it.

[A]

Next question. My husband is convinced my ex's cat is on a personal mission to ruin his life. Mostly because the cat keeps peeing on his shoes, clothes, and recently his power tools. I'm not a fan of this cat either. He's also peed on my stuff. My ex begged me to get him when we were together. And when we broke up, I Got stuck with him. I've had this cat for 11 years, six of those with my husband, and I can't bring myself to take him to a shelter. Recently I found out my husband secretly put him on an adoption site, but no one's interested. My ex's parents live a couple hours away and I've been told my ex stays with them on and off. I've seriously thought about just dropping off the cat at their doorstep with a little note saying, your turn, but that feels crazy. Or does it? My husband's not really going to divorce me over this cat, but what do I do?

[B]

Oh, wait, they're still together, her and her husband.

[A]

She's not with her ex, but she got the cat from her ex husband. Like her and her ex husband had this cat and now her and her new husband keep his cat.

[B]

Her new husband put it up for adoption.

[A]

Yeah, secretly.

[B]

That's so fucked.

[A]

That's so fucked. Oh my God.

[B]

You're talking to the wrong people. You got an animal, you stick with the animal. You don't give away an animal.

[A]

Don't. I'll take him though, if you don't fucking love your cat.

[B]

No, no, no, I wouldn't. It's like, I am not. I'm not a cat person. I know. What do you do with a.

[A]

What do you do with a cat for 11 years? Cats live a long time, though. Like you'll probably have them for 11 more years.

[B]

Do they live.

[A]

They live till like 19, 20. Cats can live a really long time.

[B]

But they're so boring.

[A]

John.

[B]

I just feel like cat, Cat people are going to lose their minds. I mean, I just think you're either a cat person or a dog person.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

How many people are cat and dog people?

[A]

I think you're either an animal person or you're just a dog person.

[B]

No, you are a normal person. Because it's not like I'm going to abuse a cat or like an animal. I just know.

[A]

But I think that, like, I think that I love dogs but like I can also appreciate and love cats. I'm so allergic to cats, but like, I would still get one.

[B]

My mom's allergic.

[A]

I love that cats though, like, they don't give a. Like you have to earn their trust. Dogs give everyone love and attention. Cats are just doing their own thing. And I just feel like this cat has been with you for 11 years. Like, I mean, the peeing stuff is annoying because cats like their pee is pee nasty and it can ruin, but I don't know, I just feel Bad. Don't drop him off at a shelter. But, like, I also don't want that to be in a home where he's not appreciated and loved.

[B]

So you're stuck with the cat.

[A]

Either you're stuck with a cat, but give him fucking love or. Whoa, Love him.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

Love him. Love all animals. Or give him to someone who will appreciate him.

[B]

You're whining back hard.

[A]

I love animals. Please give him love. He deserves it. Your husband putting him up for adoption. You guys are the worst.

[B]

And you didn't know about it. That's kind of up.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not a fan of you.

[B]

You would get a cat if you weren't allergic. Don't lie. You would actually get a cat.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I would. I would get one of those, like, Fancy Feast cats.

[B]

Cool. And then the fancy comes out of its ass into its little sandbox.

[A]

I would get any cat. Like, I just wish that I was blessed by the animal distribution system. Like, where you find puppies on the side of the road or cats. Like, if I found a cat.

[B]

All these. All these, like, adoption agencies that are about to come out of the woodwork. No, I don't want another animal. We have one. We have one animal, and he's a lot right now.

[A]

Adopted Coco. He's so cute. Thought he was gonna be $90. Not $90.

[B]

The case.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's should have gotten pet insurance. We did not.

[A]

He spent a lot of money over the years. Kobe is an investment.

[B]

Okay, do this in the math in your head. Average 100, say 100amonth.

[A]

Okay, so 1200 for the year times say 15.

[B]

You don't know that in your head. Loser.

[A]

Idiot. He's not 15. You're saying now that's. On average years is $12,000. So wait, what 12 years would be $12,000 or 10 years.

[B]

Wait, how much is it a year? How much is it a year?

[A]

1200.

[B]

12 times 15 hours. They live 15 years. Dogs, that's 18 grand in.

[A]

So we would have.

[B]

We've already spent.

[A]

We would have saved some money.

[B]

And he's only 11. Yeah.

[A]

Well, we can't get him pet insurance now. No one would take him. His premium would be too high because he's so old.

[B]

Just battle scars everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that the last question?

[A]

Like, shave marks have still not, like, fully from bowel obstruction from January.

[B]

That poor guy. No, I feel bad for a dog. It's like every time I'm like, let's go for a. I don't even want to yell because I don't know where he is. Like, let's go for a walk or whatever. I put. And I put the collar of the leash on him, and he's so excited. So excited. I put him in the car, and he's like, I'm at the vet.

[A]

You. You're.

[B]

And then you're like, bye. And he. And then they knock him out, and he comes back. He's like, what the.

[A]

What the. Did you just leave me?

[B]

But I. I'm in a cone.

[A]

I tell Kobe, I don't know if you talk to him. Like, I tell him what's about to happen to him. I'm like, listen you up. Okay, so this is where I'm bringing.

[B]

What happens when you hurt yourself.

[A]

Yeah, you did this. And so now you're gonna be in pain. They're gonna. I talk to him, and I tell him that. I don't know if he listens to me. I don't know if he understands.

[B]

I feel so bad. I hate. I hate leaving. And I hope that's how we feel about our child. Like, I hope we love our child as much as we love Kobe.

[A]

I know.

[B]

That's why I couldn't have another dog either, because I think about, like. Like, the day we lose Kobe, I'm going to melt. But, you know, I cry more for Kobe than, like, a family member.

[A]

Oh, 100.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, not like our own offspring that.

[B]

Well. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Like, like an uncle or a cousin or something, right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But no Kobe. This is why I do think maybe people get a transition dog where, like, Kobe can kind of lead the puppy.

[B]

To be like, we don't have like to learn. Where was the dog? What were the dog learn? We're on a hill. It's a nightmare.

[A]

I just want another puppy, too. Also, Kobe will probably live longer, too, with another dog.

[B]

Alex, we need a pool cover first.

[A]

Well, that's a you problem, John.

[B]

Okay. Recommendations?

[A]

Oh, yeah, let's talk about it.

[B]

Are we done with questions?

[A]

Yeah, we're done. Unless you wanted to hear the secret. I'm not going to share the secret. It was kind of stupid one.

[B]

So my recommendation is for your hair, guys.

[A]

Oh, that you're talking about, like, my.

[B]

Thick hair like me get a clip. You need to get got to be glued hair gel. And it's by John.

[A]

Everyone knows got to be Schwarzkopf.

[B]

S, C, H, W, A, R, Z, K, O, P, F. I get in Walmart. I've been using, and this is not why. What I have in my hair right now is not it. It's A paste.

[A]

And it doesn't people. Haven't people been using Got to be glued since forever 2004? Yeah.

[B]

And I. So I've been using it since high school. That's how committed I am to this brand.

[A]

This Brand should sponsor 99. When did you start high school?

[B]

I graduated 2005.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

I've been using it since then. American Eagle. Abercrombie and Fitch error. Pop collar days. This will pop. Keep your hair back. I keep pointing my hair now because I don't have in my hair. And that's why I'm using this clip. Yeah, we got to be glued is what you need for thick hair.

[A]

Nice. Well, if you're a pale girl like me, one self tanner product that I actually like, love. Because when I was in college and I was on the dance team, we used to get sponsored spray tans and I would just go stand in, like, the spray tan box and whatever. But, like, I don't get that anymore. Plus, I don't leave my house. So I'm like, let me just do it at home. Dolce Glow. It's like, beautiful. And it's so easy.

[B]

Is that the pad I use to, like, rub your butt with?

[A]

You don't rub my butt. I can get my butt, John. I say, can you get my back?

[B]

Alex stays like this.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like. And then I get so tan. And then you shower it off and it's like, it really is a nice glow. So I don't know. Dolce Glow for your at home tanned. It's also not sponsored, but I just really like your products.

[B]

Cool. Well, any Hooters? Any Hoots guys like, subscribe Email comment.

[A]

Thank you so much for tuning in. If you want to ask an anonymous question, you could do in our show notes or on our website. You could also email us at. Hello, Give it tome straight podcast dot com. And you can follow us at. Give it to me to podcast everywhere. Yay. See you next week.

[B]

Ciao. Ciao.

[A]

Bye. Foreign Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.