Give It To Me Straight – Episode 68: “Giving you gender disappointment, pregnancy, and lazy wives”

Hosts: Alex & John (Dear Media)
Date: September 9, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid episode, married hosts Alex and John tackle the unfiltered realities of late-stage pregnancy, modern parenthood, gender disappointment, and shifting relationship dynamics, sharing both advice and their own personal experiences. With characteristic humor and banter, they cover everything from birth plans and baby tech, to division of household chores, body image, intimacy, and some controversial listener questions. The conversation reveals the complexity, uncertainty, and often conflicting advice surrounding parenting, while emphasizing empathy, grace, and working together as a couple.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Crunch Time: Final Preparations Before Baby

• Both hosts discuss the mounting pressure of impending parenthood and how they're batching content to prepare for their baby's arrival.

  • They joke about their inability to take real "maternity leave" as small business owners, highlighting the pressure of balancing work and new parenthood.
  • Alex: "We want to...focus on our child." ([01:45])
  • John: "We'll probably just go back to work because we're toxic like that." ([01:49])

• Reflections on pregnancy emotions and mental health:

  • Alex shares that this second pregnancy has her feeling emotionally numb, in contrast to the emotional upheaval of her first.
  • Alex: "[Our] first pregnancy, I was so unhinged in the most emotional way. It took everything out of me that I couldn't give the emotion to this one." ([03:12])

Overwhelm & Anxiety: Baby Tech, Health Advice, and Parental Decision-Making

• Growing frustration with the abundance of baby “tech” and its impact:

  • The couple joke about everything being connected to Bluetooth/Wi-Fi, and debate the dangers (or not) of all the tech in modern parenting.
  • John: "My dad sent me a video...it was talking about EFPs or something with electronic waves from tech." ([05:57])
  • Alex: "Half this shit has batteries and Wi-Fi and Bluetooth. Who knows what the effect is going to be? Who cares? Ignorance." ([06:46])

• Health and parenting advice is always changing:

  • The hosts lament the conflicting recommendations around nutrition, health, and parenting.
  • Alex: "Recommendations are changing every fucking second." ([07:57])
  • John: "Isn't it good for you or not?" ([08:01])
  • Notable quote: "Don't listen to us. Don't listen to your dad...don't listen to the Internet. Do what feels right." – Alex ([09:12])

Revisiting Relationship Milestones & Shared History

• A nostalgic discussion of their first “I love you” at Gurney’s, the site of a recent baby tech event:

  • The hosts humorously bicker about who said "I love you" first, and who actually put together the baby gear.
  • Alex: "Is that not my lived experience? So when I'm also at Gurney's, I'm allowed to think like, wow, my husband said he loved me...” ([14:25])

• Banter about exaggerated pregnancy-related irritation and John’s support role:

  • Alex points out shifting relationship dynamics and the need for better communication and “active listening” from John as pregnancy nears its end.

Unfiltered Talk: Birth, Medical Procedures, and Advocating in the Hospital

• Candid and humorous discussion of OB appointments and late-pregnancy medical procedures:

  • John admits he couldn’t handle watching Alex get swabbed and retreated to the corner, sparking laughter.
  • Alex: "After experiencing loss, I knew that I was just a specimen...I'm just gonna be present." ([17:03–17:51])

• Advocacy during labor:

  • Alex emphasizes the importance of John advocating for her if she’s too drugged or incapacitated in the hospital.
  • Alex: "If shit's going down and I'm drugged up, you've got to be there…” ([17:53–18:03])

Listener Questions and Relationship/Parenting Advice

1. Workplace Pregnancy Timing

• Listener worries about starting a family soon after joining a new company.
• Both Alex and John advise prioritizing life/family over job concerns.
  • Alex: "Don’t make your job personal...they don’t give a shit about you." ([42:20])

2. Pre-Pregnancy Fitness

• Advice is ‘just do your best but don’t stress.’
  • Alex: “There really is no ideal situation in which all the stars are going to align. I think you just got to fudge and go for it.” ([43:48])

3. Pregnant Partner Not Doing Chores (and “Lazy” Wives)

• A husband’s complaint about his pregnant wife’s lack of household help:
  • John (playfully): “You're an asshole, but these are inside thoughts you should just keep to yourself...Suck it up, after that, if she’s still being lazy, then you’re not an asshole.” ([46:54])
  • Alex highlights how every pregnancy is different, and men can’t fully understand what a woman endures physically/mentally.

4. Self-Esteem, Body Image & Intimacy During Pregnancy

• A woman laments body changes, lack of intimacy, and feeling undesired by her husband.
  • Both hosts urge self-compassion and recommend open communication, acknowledging everyone’s experiences are different.
  • Alex: “You have to try to keep your peace and give yourself grace and just know this isn’t forever.” ([54:55])
  • John: “Your dick’s not that big. Shut up.” ([53:35]) – Injecting humor into a delicate topic.

5. Gender Disappointment & Pregnancy After Loss

• A listener, pregnant with a boy after losing a girl, asks about managing disappointment.
  • Both share their complex feelings: relief, sadness, and grief.
  • Alex: “I still went through a grieving process...when I found out that I was pregnant, because I was like, it’s still not him, you know?” ([61:46])
  • They stress that feelings of disappointment, grief, and excitement can coexist and that therapy and compassion are vital.

6. Family Boundaries: Pregnancy Announcements

• A listener discovers her mother-in-law secretly posted all her pregnancy details:
  • Both hosts are appalled.
  • John: "You fucking bitch. You bitch. That's such a move." ([65:12])
  • They recommend setting—and enforcing—strong boundaries, and express frustration at insufficient support from the listener’s husband.

7. Sister Drama

• A very pregnant listener refuses to drive and pick up her drunk sister at 3AM:
  • Both agree: not the asshole. The sister is being childish and inconsiderate of the listener’s circumstances.

Memorable Quotes

• "We've been through enough fucking shit. I think people understand that we're grateful to be here." – Alex ([03:12])
• "Half this shit has batteries and Wi-Fi and Bluetooth. Who knows what the effect is going to be? Who cares? Ignorance." – Alex ([06:46])
• "Don't listen to us. Don't listen to your dad...don't listen to the Internet. Do what feels right." – Alex ([09:12])
• "You're an asshole, but these are inside thoughts that you should just keep to yourself and not fudgeing say anything. It's nine months. Suck it up." – John ([46:54])
• "You have to try to keep your peace and give yourself grace and just know this isn’t forever." – Alex ([54:55])
• "I still went through a grieving process...when I found out that I was pregnant, because I was like, it’s still not him, you know?" – Alex ([61:46])
• "You fucking bitch. You bitch. That's such a move." – John, on mother-in-law's Facebook group ([65:12])

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• 01:33 – Preparing content and work-life balance ahead of baby’s arrival
• 03:12 – Mental health and emotional disconnect in subsequent pregnancies
• 05:57–07:10 – Overwhelm at technology in parenting and debates about risk
• 09:12 – Advice on ignoring external opinions and trusting instincts
• 14:25 – Playful debate about relationship memories and story ownership
• 17:03–18:03 – BD/delivery procedures, advocacy, and support during birth
• 29:42 – Q&A: Parenting hypotheticals—screen time, choosing spouses, etc.
• 46:54 – Responding to a husband’s complaint about “lazy” pregnant wives
• 54:55 – Advice on body image and intimacy during pregnancy
• 61:46 – Discussion on gender disappointment and parenting after loss
• 65:12 – Outrage at mother-in-law secretly posting pregnancy details

Tone & Personality

The duo’s trademark tone is witty, irreverent, and deeply honest. They balance raw confessions with humor, poking fun at each other and at the absurdities of modern parenthood. Alex is more empathetic, detail-oriented, and prone to overthinking; John is blunt, deadpan, and brings comic relief, but with sincerity, especially regarding support for his partner.

Takeaways

• Every pregnancy and relationship is different—cut yourself and others some slack.
• Boundaries matter, especially with family and on social media.
• Expect conflicting advice in parenting; ultimately, do what feels right for you.
• Men can never fully understand what pregnancy is like—support and patience are key.
• Open, sometimes uncomfortable communication is vital—especially around intimacy.
• Grief and excitement can coexist after loss, and therapy can support processing.
• Last, and always: Don’t listen to the internet. Trust yourself.