72. Giving you birth stories, sleepless nights and baby must-haves

Summary

Give It To Me Straight – Episode 72 "Giving you birth stories, sleepless nights, and baby must-haves"

Release Date: October 7, 2025

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Overview

In this candid and lighthearted episode, husband and wife duo Alex and John share their firsthand experiences navigating the birth of their daughter, Lucy Gray, and the chaotic, sleep-deprived world of new parenthood. Through unfiltered storytelling, they offer practical advice, relatable anecdotes, and honest reflections on labor, delivery, loss, recovery, and baby essentials—always from their unique dual perspectives. The episode balances humor, raw emotion, and real talk, making it a valuable listen for expectant and new parents alike.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Reflections: Life After Birth

• Exhaustion, Joy, and Surreality

  • Both hosts emphasize how surreal and exhausting new parenthood is. They admit they feel “rusty” but also blissfully happy, despite being in a “fever dream.”
  • Notable Quote [00:54] – Alex:
    “I’m like in a fever dream. Like, I don’t even know what day it is... If we sound dumb as rocks, we’re...going to be all over the place.”

• Highlighting Parental Leave Differences

  • Alex and John express frustration at the lack of robust maternity/paternity leave in the US, describing how difficult immediate returns to work would be.
  • John [01:47]:
    “I feel so bad for people that, like, go right back to work. That’s crazy.”

2. Transition to Parenthood

• A Whirlwind Three Weeks

  • Lucy is three weeks old, and the last three weeks have “gone in a blink”—except, as John jokes, at 3am.
  • Both remark on the unexpected intensity and monotony of newborn life—especially night shifts.

• Pregnancy Tiredness vs. Newborn Tiredness

  • Alex adamantly rejects the common notion that pregnancy fatigue is harder than newborn fatigue, saying she'd “take pregnancy tired 10 out of 10 times.” [03:22]

3. Generational Changes in Parenting

• Alex shares her grandmother’s stories about car safety “in the old days,” highlighting the drastic changes in newborn care and parental anxiety over the decades.
  • Alex [04:23]:
    “They would...roll them up in blankets and put them on the floor of the car...like little potatoes rolling around...on the floor.”

4. Honest Emotions: Joy & Trauma

• After Loss: Relief and Gratitude

  • The couple discusses their difficult journey, including prior pregnancy loss (Leo), emphasizing how this colored their experience, made them more anxious, but ultimately super grateful.
  • Alex [05:56]:
    “I feel so at peace and just so happy and fulfilled...as tired as we are.”
  • John [05:53]:
    “I think I was, like, really worried about [postpartum depression] for you...And Lucy came and it was the opposite. You were, like, flooded with so much emotion of happiness...and that was a huge relief for me.”

• Therapy and Preparation

  • Alex credits EMDR therapy and open communication with John for helping manage anxiety after their loss. She offers reassurance to listeners experiencing loss, while acknowledging everyone’s journey is unique. [08:02]

5. Deciding to Start (or Expand) a Family

• Doubts Before—But Not After
  • John confides he was “on the fence” about becoming a parent but says he can’t imagine his life without Lucy.
  • John [08:55]:
    “Even up to the moment she came...now I’m like, I cannot imagine my life without her.”

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The Birth Story in Depth

(Birth Story Segment: [09:26]-[31:44])

Pre-Labor & Induction

• Alex wanted to be induced as soon as possible; her doctor agreed on 39 weeks.
• She describes anxiety about labor, but decided to “trust my doctors. Birth plan is survive both of us.” [09:52]

Labor Progression

• False Alarm Then Go-Time

  • Early sign: Chair soaked after standing up—thought it was sweat, her OB says not in labor yet. Later, real contractions begin.

• Hospital Arrival & Induction

  • Scheduled induction at 8pm, Cervidil administered—told to expect slow progress, but contractions start within 20 minutes.

• Contractions Increase Rapidly

  • Alex tries to delay getting an epidural to stay mobile, but pain ramps up fast.
  • Alex [19:02]:
    “I’m writhing in pain...I am not trying to be a hero. Like, I will take that epidural.”

The Epidural and Active Labor

• Epidural Brings Relief

  • Immediate transformation after epidural; Alex goes from 3cm to 10cm in three hours, validating her Catholic for waiting but ultimately caving—zero regret.
  • John [21:10]:
    “You were a completely different person, like, on cloud nine.”

• Delivery—Fast and (Relatively) Easy

  • OB nearly misses the delivery, but makes it in for the 12 minutes of pushing.
  • Alex credits her physical activity and pelvic floor exercises for the quick progression.
  • John [24:36]:
    “I've never seen working out correlate so much in my life...like, to labor.”

• Emotion, Humor, and the “Primal” Moment

  • The two joke about “prairie dogging” vs. “turtling,” the experience of feeling immense pressure, and the universal fear of pooping during labor.
  • Alex [25:19]: “I just started bawling. But I was also like, who are you?” (On first seeing Lucy)

• John’s Perspective

  • Feels awkward cheering Alex on (“it’s so forced”), confesses he was more supportive on the squat rack than in the delivery room [26:50].
  • The pressure to be a “supportive dad” felt performative, not natural.

Memorable Moments

• Umbilical Cord Fiasco

  • John struggles to cut the cord (“I'm left handed!”) and describes the placenta as “the thing from Alien.” [29:05]

• Postpartum Recovery

  • Alex describes the first week as “a 12-step skincare routine for your vagine,” reflecting on the surprisingly complex and uncomfortable aspects of vaginal delivery recovery.

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Early Postpartum & Hospital Stay

The Recovery Room

• Lots of learning: swaddling, breastfeeding, multiple (sometimes contradictory) messages from staff.
• Latching: Lucy latches well from the start—a huge relief.
• Swaddling: John feels oddly prepared for diapers and swaddling.
• Conflicting Advice:
  • Multiple lactation consultants, all with different advice. A nurse gives Lucy a pacifier (against policy?), causing minor drama.
  • Alex [34:22]: “Not just in the hospital, but...everybody’s going to have conflicting opinions... just trust your gut as a parent.”

Taking Lucy Home

• They find the Nuna Pipa car seat easy to install and use, contradicting all the “dad” warnings.
• John [53:09]:
  “Two weeks before we go, I’m like, all right, I’ll take a look at the car seat...I put that thing in maybe the first time...10 minutes. Second car, under 5 minutes. Really no problem.”

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Q&A Segment and Must-Haves

(Q&A Segment: [41:03] onward – “Quickies” and Listener Questions)

Fun & Relatable Moments

• Shaving or Not Before Birth?
  • “Some people were like, who cares? I didn’t want to deal with it. Postpartum I was very glad that I cleaned it up.” [41:24]
• How Chill It Was
  • Both were surprised the birth itself was “so chill” thanks to the epidural and team.
• Showing Up for Your Partner
  • Be present, ask what they need, and don’t overthink the “performance” aspect.

Lessons Learned

• Easier Than Expected:
  • Learning the baby’s cues was surprisingly intuitive.
• No Strict Schedule:
  • They don’t have a rigid routine, focus on responding to baby’s needs.
• Doula/Midwife?:
  • Alex didn’t use one (but understands why some would) and felt confident with her OB and hospital team. Night nurse would be her splurge, if anything.
• Recovery:
  • First week is tough, but improves steadily. Key is to rest, accept help, and be patient with the healing process.
• Products to Skip/Buy:
  • Skip: Electric baby nail file (“gave her all hangnails”), automatic bottle dryer, Keurig-style formula machine (“too much cleaning, more hassle than it’s worth”).
  • Must-haves:
    • Nuna stroller/car seat system (for safety, simplicity, and minimalism).
    • Carter’s zipper onesies for easy changes.
    • Postpartum – loose, dark sweatpants, button-down shirts, nursing bras.
  • John [57:07]:
    “...you can...go visit Nunababy.com to learn more about their products and it’s 10 out of 10 out of 10. Get it?”

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Parenting Dynamics & Relationship Advice

Handling In-Law Dynamics & Emotional Labor

• Advice to new parents: Focus energy on the baby, don’t dwell on insensitive family members, and have your partner take the lead with their family if needed.

Resentment & Imbalanced Workloads

• The hosts stress the importance of mutual respect, teamwork, and self-awareness in relationships, cautioning listeners not to expect a partner will change after a baby arrives.
  • John [64:03]:
    “Maybe you’re alone...Is this an imaginary husband?”

Coping with Overwhelm and Anxiety

• Emphasize trusting your gut, limiting exposure to social media noise, and relying on your trusted medical team.

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Notable Quotes

• Alex [05:29]:
  "I really do feel so at peace and just so happy and fulfilled...although we’re very exhausted and very tired like this, I wouldn’t want anything else."
• John [09:15]:
  "Everyone’s experience is different but...I cannot imagine my life without her."
• Alex [22:44]:
  "Even with an epidural, you still feel all this pressure down there."
• John [24:36]:
  "I've never seen working out correlate so much in my life...like, to labor."
• Alex [34:22]:
  "Everybody’s going to have conflicting opinions...just trust your gut as a parent."
• John [53:09]:
  "If I can do it, anyone can do it [the car seat]."
• Alex [67:12]:
  “I say ignorance is bliss...I trust my gut on deciding what to listen to.”
• John [70:10]: “The thing that gets me every time...is when I see you uncomfortable or in pain, that’s torture for me because I cannot help you in that situation.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:54 – Honest opening: “fever dream” of exhaustion and joy
• 04:23 – Generational differences in baby safety
• 08:02 – Coping with previous pregnancy loss and therapy
• 09:26-31:44 – In-depth birth story (induction, labor, delivery, postpartum)
• 34:22 – Trusting your gut as a parent amidst conflicting advice
• 41:03 onwards – Q&A: listener questions about birth, postpartum, baby products
• 53:09 – Car seat install & bringing Lucy home (Nuna plug & “Hot Dad Walk”)
• 67:12 – Coping with parenting info overload & social media
• 70:10 – Emotional support during hard moments

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Tone and Language

The tone is unfiltered, self-deprecating, playful, and deeply empathetic. Both hosts balance humor with vulnerability, making space for jokes about bodily functions and new-parent delirium right alongside raw confessions about loss, anxiety, and joy.

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Final Thoughts

If you’re a new or expectant parent looking for real talk, laughter, practical tips, and honest community, this episode is a refreshing (and occasionally hilarious) companion. Alex and John keep it real, raw, and relatable—proving that a little humor and teamwork go a long way in surviving the trenches of new parenthood.

Transcript

[Alex]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[John]

They're telling Alex, like, push, push, push. And I feel like I should be contributing. I'm like, yeah, push, Alex.

[Alex]

I almost, like, look at John. She's annoyed with me as he's cheering me on. Because I could tell it's like, not.

[John]

It's forced.

[Alex]

Yeah, it's forced.

[John]

So forced. I feel like they were looking at me like I wasn't being supportive enough. I'm like, holding your hand. I'm like, go, go, go, go. Push, push, push, push, push, push.

[Alex]

You have been actually more supportive of me on the squat rack than me giving.

[John]

Welcome back to Give it to me straight.

[Alex]

I'm Alex and I'm John.

[John]

And I'm a mom and you're. And I'm a dad. I almost said, yeah, I'm a daddy, but I. I just hate that you are a daddy.

[Alex]

Daddy, daddy. Gross, man. How do you feel, John?

[John]

This. I feel rusty.

[Alex]

You know, rusty. But also, I'm like in a fever dream. Like, I don't even know what day it is. It makes me number one. So let's apologize ahead of time. If we sound dumb as rocks, we're.

[John]

Going to be all over the place.

[Alex]

We had a daughter. We did it.

[John]

We have a daughter. We do, Gray. I'm glad we could say her name now, cuz it was always so weird. Cuz we're trying to like.

[Alex]

Well, the amount of times we had to ask our editor to cut it.

[John]

Out and we'd be like our.

[Alex]

Our baby girl, you know, so she's here. Everything went swimming. We'll get into birth story later. But it's just been a whirlwind. And now I understand why there are countries who.

[John]

Blissful whirlwind.

[Alex]

Sure. Oh, yeah. Obviously it's been amazing. No, I'm just saying. Now I know that white countries give people excessive amounts of time off of work.

[John]

You definitely should. I don't know. I don't know. I feel so bad for people that, like, go right back to work. That's crazy.

[Alex]

Half the people in the US like, why? Why is this country not made for families? It's fine.

[John]

It's wild. My buddy got one week off and had to go back to work.

[Alex]

Well, and then.

[John]

Then you leave your wife in the.

[Alex]

Trenches to do it alone. No, I can't. I can't. I would lose my mind.

[John]

I feel like we have so much stuff to talk about and I have nothing in my brain. I have a bunch. I have a whole list of stuff.

[Alex]

I have notes in front of Me, and I can't even see them.

[John]

Let's just start with, well, when do we end?

[Alex]

We ended a few weeks ago.

[John]

It was like, the last episode was, like, the week before.

[Alex]

We were going in 37. No, I was like, 30. Yeah. I guess we recorded up until the end.

[John]

So currently, right now where it stands, we're like, three weeks out from delivery.

[Alex]

Yeah. She's three weeks old today.

[John]

Three weeks old today.

[Alex]

She's such a little nugget. I love her so much.

[John]

Two pounds.

[Alex]

She already is. She's gaining way too much weight too soon. She's actually. No, she's, like, healthy. But I'm saying I don't want her to grow. Like, it's true what they say when it. When they say the time goes so fast. Because this past three weeks feels like it went in a blink of an eye.

[John]

Yes.

[Alex]

Not when it's at 3:00am No.

[John]

I mean, I'm not gonna say I. I'm doing as much as you are, but I just feel like doing the night is like a shift of work. I know it doesn't just seem like that. Going to bed, you used to, like, go to sleep.

[Alex]

Boop.

[John]

Next day. Now it's like we're up multiple times. Like, it feels like the night is so long.

[Alex]

I also do have to say people were like, oh, pregnancy tired is worse than newborn tired. No.

[John]

So I'm not losing the pregnant one. That's a lie.

[Alex]

Like, I would take pregnancy tired 10 out of 10 times.

[John]

I like how I would. I know I wasn't the pregnant one, but I'm just basing off of my.

[Alex]

Own experience and, like, how you see me. This is why, like, I do have my caffeine.

[John]

And now you can have more than one cup, correct?

[Alex]

Yes.

[John]

Do we just start with the. The day of.

[Alex]

Well, I wanted to say a little bit before because I thought that something was funny. Before we had Lucy, my grandma had come over just to see us before, you know, we were in the trenches and everything. And we were talking about all the safety precautions that we're going through, like between car seats, cameras, all the things. And she goes, yeah. It's just so funny because, you know, when we had kids, we would just roll them up in blankets and put them on the floor of the car.

[John]

And then her friend was like, yeah, they roll around. Like, potato of the card is like a natural. Like.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Like they're in the womb.

[Alex]

Yeah, they would. I'm just envisioning it was my dad and his four younger sisters all wrapped up like little Potatoes rolling around on the floor.

[John]

Just think about, like, bottles. Like, when you put, like, glass bottles down at the feet. Yeah, they're just rolling around. That's babies.

[Alex]

That's what babies were doing.

[John]

Simpler time, you know?

[Alex]

And now we have to go through, like, 18 safety checks just to make sure we're allowed to leave the hospital.

[John]

Exactly.

[Alex]

Which we'll get into. But should we just. Should we just start about, like, just start.

[John]

You know, this. This episode's about us and Lucy, you know, we have so much to talk about.

[Alex]

Yeah. Yeah. I do want to say, like, being now on the other side of. Feels like pregnancy. I can't even. It feels like so long ago already. Like, it feels like we've lived a thousand lives since then. But I really do feel so at peace and just so happy and fulfilled. Like, although we're very exhausted and very tired like this, I wouldn't want anything else. No. Like, I'm just so. I don't even have the words. I'm just so.

[John]

Please don't start crying.

[Alex]

Happy.

[John]

We just started the podcast. No crying.

[Alex]

That's what it was too.

[John]

It's like last night, Alex was like. I don't know what you were saying. You were. You were, like, just so happy and just started bawling.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. No, I think I've cried every single day. But happy tears. Not tired tears, not sad tears. Like, I was covered in the other night at 3am and I couldn't have been happier.

[John]

I was so scared that because you hear all these stories, also not my own. I was always. You hear these stories and like, TikTok, Instagram, all. Everyone's on there, like, talking about their postpartum depression. And I think I was, like, really worried about that for you. I mean, I didn't say anything to you, but I. And Lucy came and it was the opposite. You were, like, flooded with so much emotion of happiness, like, wanting to be around her all the time. And that was a huge relief for me. I'm like, man, if you're like, no, get away from me or her, I'd be like, I gotta. I'm on my own here.

[Alex]

What am I gonna do? I mean, I think everybody's experiences, the way that they react, how their hormones impact them, are going to be so different. You can't compare. But as sad as it is to say, I think it is very real to say that because of what we experienced, I just. I couldn't imagine not being so happy to be in the trenches, you know? Like, we've just been wanting this we've been like so excited to be up at 2am with a newborn and so I'm just taking it all as such. This is like truly such a blessing and it's going to fly by. So. So I feel like I'm soaking it all in. As tired as we are.

[John]

I'm remembering the little moments and her face and stuff. Cuz it is. It's going to be fleeting.

[Alex]

Oh yeah. My entire camera roll like the last 10,000 photos are just her. Like it's.

[John]

It's so weird to say how awful our first go around was with Leo, the experience through pregnancy and like what we had to go through first with Lucy. It's like this whole pregnancy was like they say boring is good.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Through the whole thing and then I know you go more into detail but like even through delivery, how it was, how she was immediately with you with latching. I mean we have really been lucked out.

[Alex]

So lucky. Yeah. And really just been blessed like throughout this whole experience. But it's just nice to be on the other side with her.

[John]

Anyone that's like in the trenches right now, you're in your nine at nine months, you're but you know, light at the end of the tunnel.

[Alex]

Yeah. Or even if again like you've experienced loss. Like we've been through it as well and I held my breath my entire pregnancy and to be able to finally breathe a sigh of relief, it just is so worth it to go through again like we had. I had a lot of therapy emdr, which I talk about all the time. I think that like we had a lot of communication with each other to be able to work through pregnancy because I just knew I did not want to be stressed throughout that pregnancy because it would impact the whole experience. Experience as a whole.

[John]

So.

[Alex]

But again if you guys are, if you're someone who's experiencing loss, I'm not here to promise light at the end of the tunnel because again everybody's journeys are so different. But just know like it is worth it and timing will work in your favor eventually. And again, you're not alone. Like there's us, we've been through it and it's brutal.

[John]

I'll also say like for everyone out there that's indecisive, you're on the fence. You're on the fence. You're on the fence. Everyone's experience is different. But I will say from us, I was on the fence and still unsure even up to the moment she came. And now I'm like, I cannot imagine my life without her. Yeah, it's wild. I.

[Alex]

And it's true what they say. You hear people say that all the time, and you're like, it's. It's like, it's. Seriously, it's really been the best.

[John]

Okay, first off, it didn't happen immediately. Alex and I both were like, who is that? Is this.

[Alex]

Yeah. All right, well, let's. Let's get into it. I'll try to give, like, the easiest, quickest birth story synopsis. Okay. First, I just want to start off by saying to consult with your doctor. Like, what we are going to say is not medical advice. This was our own experience and based off of our. Our complete unique situation.

[John]

Also, we're about to contradict everything we said prior.

[Alex]

Maybe for what things? Certain things, but products. What I'm saying is, like, medically, I knew I wanted to be induced. I was like, I do not want to wait. As soon as she is able to be full term, I want her out of me. And my doctor was like, okay, we'll do it at 39 weeks. And I was like, what about 37? She was like, no. So we waited until 39 weeks to get induced. There's a lot of fear mongering online, but, like, I truly trusted in my doctors that things would go well. And that's, like, one thing too that I think helped was not having any expectations. I just truly went in and was like, what's gonna happen is gonna happen. I'm gonna trust my doctors. I'm just gonna go in. Birth plan is survive both of us. Like, I live, she lives, we go home. Done. So it was about 38 weeks. In a few days, I'm having breakfast with a friend, and I stand up and my. I had been, like, mildly contracting, like, mostly at night at that point. And so I stand up and my chair is completely soaked. Like, it looked like I'd peed my pants.

[John]

Alex sends me a photo. I'm like, well, we should go to the hospital.

[Alex]

So I asked my friend. I was like. I was like, I think I'm just really sweaty. She goes, bitch, no, it looks like you peed your pants or it looks like your water broke. And so send a picture to my ob. She's like, come in. So I go in. I'm already having contractions. And she's like, I. Your water hasn't completely broken. It could have just been a light leak that closed. She was like, but, like, you're not in labor. Your water is still intact. And I'm like, God damn it. So she's like go home, just chill. You know, if you get. If your contractions get worse, obviously come in. And before we continue, this episode is sponsored by winx. Can we be honest for a second? I just had a baby. And let's just say that there's a lot going on down there, which you guys all know about. The truth is this is the stuff we don't talk about enough. Even before having a baby baby, the late night googling. Is this normal panic? The questions you don't even want to ask out loud. And that's why I'm so obsessed with winx Health, because they're actually making all of that less awkward, less confusing and way more in our control. Not our control, but like women's control. Because John, you. It's. This isn't about you. Here's how it works. If you have an oh moment and need emergency contraception, Winks has you covered. If you're spiraling at 2am wondering, why does my pee burn? They've got answers. And same day prescription through telehealth and their restart morning after pill. It's legal everywhere and just as effective as plan B. They even have at home tests and treat kits UTI yeast infections bv. Instead of guessing what's going on, you test, get clarity and you could even get a prescription the same day without dragging yourself into a waiting room. And honestly, that is the dream postpartum, not having to add another doctor's visit to the list. Like time is everything. So if you could do it from home is money.

[John]

Time is money.

[Alex]

Plus winx is women owned, ob GYN approved and finally talking about the things we've all been told to feel embarrassed about. But not anymore. Because this episode. You guys know way too much about my undercarriage. I think that's probably the majority of what I've spoken about today. So why, why not continue the conversation? You can find Winks nationwide at Walgreens or even get it delivered in 30 minutes through GoPuff, DoorDash or Instacart. So go stock up at Walgreens or head to hellowinks.com gitms for 50 off winks at Walgreens. That's hello. H e l l o w I n x.com g I t m s for 50 off because down there deserves some real TLC. No shame required.

[John]

And this episode is also sponsored by Headspace. You know that moment when someone asks, how are you doing? And without even thinking, you just blurt out, I'm good. You. Lately, as a new parent, I've realized I don't always mean it. Because honestly, between the sleepless nights, the constant diaper changes and feeds, and just adjusting to this brand new life, it's a lot for us.

[Alex]

It is.

[John]

It is a lot for us. We both find ourselves craving even just five minutes to breathe and feel like me again.

[Alex]

Oh please.

[John]

That's where Headspace comes in. It's the app that helps me actually slow down and check in with myself. With guided meditations, mindfulness practices, even quick breathing exercises, we can go from feeling totally overwhelmed to at least a little more grounded, even if it's only for a few minutes while the baby naps. And I love that it's not one size fits all. Whether you're brand new to meditation or you've been doing it for years, there's content for every stage and every mood. It's become this small but powerful tool for me to feel more centered, less stressed, and a little more like I can handle the chaos. So when I say I'm good to the person who says, how are you doing? I can actually mean it. And you can feel good and mean it too. For a limited time, get Headspace for free for 60 days. Just go to headspace.com straight that's h e a d s p a c e dot com straight for 60 days free.

[Alex]

And today's episode is also brought to you by Square, the tool I wish every small business owner knew about sooner. When we were filming weddings, I can't tell you how many times a couple would ask for last minute add ons like an extra hour of coverage or a highlight reel. Normally that would have been a headache to deal with, but with Square, we could take care of that payment on the spot. No awkward. I'll send you an invoice later. No stressing about chasing it down. It made everything smoother. And that's the magic of Square. It's designed so that you don't have to spend hours figuring out systems or learning complicated software. The hardware looks sleek, it plugs right into whatever you're already doing, and the app makes a whole process super intuitive. You're not buried in logistics, and you're freed up to actually do the work that you love. What's great is that it doesn't matter what kind of business you're running. A coffee shop, a boutique, a food truck, or in our case, a creative endeavor. It scales with you. You could sell in person, set up an online shop, or even manage multiple locations. And your customers can pay however they want.

[John]

Perfect, because I hate it when they can't pay with card, which is annoying.

[Alex]

It's a thing here in New York where people sometimes only accept cash only. I think that's probably like, New York.

[John]

Is such, like, cash is king.

[Alex]

They're doing some shady stuff. That's what I think it is. But, you know, I think that they should be using square. It would make our lives easier. If you're ready to simplify the back end of your business and focus on what you do best, square is where you start. Right now, you get up to $200 off Square hardware. When you head to square.com, go straight.

[John]

I'm going to cut you off. Because why wouldn't you Want to make it as easy as possible for your clients to pay you?

[Alex]

Well, it's also easier for you as the business.

[John]

Easier for you, but easier for them too.

[Alex]

You know, want to make it easy for everyone.

[John]

Make it easy for everyone.

[Alex]

You square that square, dot com, slash, go, slash, straight, R, A, I, G, H, T. Straight. Square Makes running a business feel a whole lot easier. So we go in for our scheduled induction, and again, like, we had a very. It was very chill. It was like 8pm Go into the hospital, check in. They place, it's called cervidil. They put it onto your cervix, whatever. There's multiple ways that you could get induced. And they were like, this is just here to ripen your cervix. Because I was zero percent dilated, I think they said I was like half a centimeter. They were like, this will take 12 to 24 hours to ripen your cervix. Make it soft so that you can start to dilate the following day.

[John]

She's like, yeah, probably you'll be labor on like 5, 6pm the next day.

[Alex]

The next day. So I'm like, okay, so, like, we have time. So John and I are, like, putting on a show. We. We didn't order dinner because we had gotten an early dinner. We were just like, trying to like, relax. We're like, okay, cool. 20 minutes later, I started having contractions. And I'm like, what the. Like, already? And I'm like, am I just a week?

[John]

It's like 9pm at this point.

[Alex]

Yeah. So then I'm like, all right. Like, they're. They're not super bad, but they're there. And so our nurse, which number one labor and delivery nurses. Godsend Angels. I love them all.

[John]

Like, I was telling them, I was like, if. When Lucy comes out, she's gonna have an internship.

[Alex]

I like, my toxic trait is I want to Be friends with all of them. I'm like, how do I come back here and just hang out with you guys?

[John]

Like, oh, contracted. She's like, so, like, what are you guys doing later?

[Alex]

Exactly? But they're just the best angels, truly, on earth. And so I call in our lead nurse, and I'm like, hey, are my contractions supposed to already be three to four minutes apart? And she goes, yeah. We were looking on the monitor, and we were going to wait to see if you called us to see, like, if you. How you were doing. She's like, how are you doing? I was like, I'm. It's bearable right now, but, like, you know, is this normal? And she goes, everybody's body reacts differently. So she was like, you know, we'll just obviously keep an eye on it. Are you comfortable? I was like, I'm definitely not comfortable. But I didn't want to get an epidural because I still wanted to walk around, still move. Because I was. I was concerned that if I got an epidural too early, I would be bedbound for a full, like, 48 hours. I was like, I just don't want that. Like, I want to still be mobile and move. So we're going through the night. Contractions are just getting so much worse.

[John]

Like, I'm seeing, like, one to two minutes. I'm like.

[Alex]

And I'm like, I'm writhing in pain. And I'm like, is this normal? Like, there is no way. And I'm like. So I call in the nurse again. I'm like, can we just see how dilated I am? Because, like, I think I need an epidural. And she goes, yeah, girl, don't be a hero. And I'm like, I am not trying to be a hero. Like, I will take that epidural. She comes in, she checks me. I'm like, three centimeters dilated. I'm like, is that a lot? Like, I know it's not. And so they're like, you could absolutely get the epidural if you want. Like, your contractions are a minute apart. And again, everybody's body reacts differently. I was like, yeah, I think I want it because I'm, like, in so much pain. So get the epidural.

[John]

So you were contracting for, like, almost nine hours. You were dealing with this night before still, but you were getting dilated. You're contracting, like, every one to two minutes, three to four minutes, whatever it was for nine hours, you were doing that. And you're like, okay, now it's time. Like, yeah, that's crazy that you let it go on that.

[Alex]

I just, like, was, like, let again. I wanted to make sure that I was dilating and it wasn't just, like, my cervix softening because I was like, if I again then have to wait to dilate to 10 centimeters and I can't, like, move around, I was going to be really annoyed. Like, I just wanted to have, like, mo movement and be able to be mobile. And so I get the epidural at, like, 5:00am that was the best decision. And it. I got it at the point where I was like, I'll do anything. Like, please stick this needle in my back.

[John]

Guy comes in.

[Alex]

How is that for you, John?

[John]

Guy comes in. Was he the. Not the anesthesiologist? Was he. Was he the anesthesiologist?

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, he was anesthesiologist.

[John]

She comes in, sits Alex up. I see him pull this fucking needle out. I'm in healthcare, too. I just never like needles. I. I'm in health. I'm not in healthcare anymore. Whatever. Anyways, I see him stick this knee, take this needle out, and jam it in Alex's back. I think that was the worst thing I saw out of the whole experience.

[Alex]

Oh, really?

[John]

Just the needle. I was like, whoa. And then the. The RN looks at me. She's like, you all right? I'm like, yeah, I'm just looking the complete other way.

[Alex]

She said she was like, you'd be surprised how many dads, like, pass out at this part. Crazy.

[John]

Crazy.

[Alex]

But that was night and day.

[John]

If I felt good that you were. Oh, my God, you were a completely.

[Alex]

Different person, like, on cloud nine. Because I was. I was, I think, using you as, like, my, you know, squeeze toy as I was having contractions. And I was like, I can't handle this.

[John]

I just know that you don't complain a lot, and your pain tolerance is pretty. Even if it's high, you usually don't say anything. That was pretty bad. So I was like, okay, let's. Let's get this.

[Alex]

Yeah, I. I do have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I was. I cried. I cried, and I've never cried.

[John]

I don't fucking blame you.

[Alex]

And so once I got the aperture, I was like, holy shit. Like, I could breathe. I could be present. And so I was like, we could rest. No, we didn't rest because I ended up dilating so quickly that I went from 3 centimeters to 10 in just, like, three hours. My OB had come in, and she was like, you're dilating faster than 1cm an hour. So, like, you'll probably have this baby pretty soon. And she was like, I have another procedure before yours. I'm going to do my best to make it in time. And I honestly, like, previous me would have been like, oh, my gosh, please, I need it to be you. I don't give a fuck. Her and me. I was like, whoever is here to deliver that baby, fine. Like, I don't give a fuck yet. Because I was just like, I feel the pressure, but whatever. Like, I just was not going to try to hold back having this baby. So it's like 10 in the morning now and my water had broken a little bit before, so things like, really started to progress. And I'm like, I feel like I'm going to take the biggest shit. And I knew, like, I had told.

[John]

Every nurse before, I'm pretty sure I'm about to shit myself.

[Alex]

And I was like. And they go, oh, that means you're ready to push. And I go, I feel like I'm ready to push. And so. And again, even with an epidural, you still feel all this pressure down there. But you know in. What's that movie called Rat Race, when he's like talking about prairie dogging?

[John]

Never watched that movie. Oh, well, anyway, love that movie.

[Alex]

One of the.

[John]

It's not holes, but.

[Alex]

So one of the scenes of the movie, they're talking about prairie dogging where like, you gotta poop and the poop is going in and out. That's how I felt.

[John]

Turtling.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, turtling. So I was like, I am prairie dogging right now and I feel the pressure. Like, I feel like a poop is coming out. And they were like, let's check you. And they were like, oh, yeah, you're ready to push. And I'm like, fabulous, let's go. My object still in her procedure, so she sends her back up and they're still like scrambling to get everything together because it was like 0 to 100 and. But it was very relaxed for me because I think, again, I wasn't in pain. I was like, someone will be here to catch this baby. My OB thankfully came within, you know, five minutes to spare. I pushed for 12 minutes. Baby was here.

[John]

She just breezed right, right over that. 12 minutes. That's it. You did three sets of pushing. That is absurd.

[Alex]

I mean, again, I think because my pregnancy with Lucy was not high risk, I was able to still be physically active throughout, which helped me do pelvic floor workouts, which helped me really focus on core and so when they're like, bear down and giving me directions on.

[John]

How to push, I was like, down, push.

[Alex]

I got this. And then they were. I mean, I tore.

[John]

But you need to, like, want, like, if you're going to take one thing away from this. If you're someone who's pregnant, I. If you're able to work out, I. Highly high. I've never seen working out correlate so much in my life.

[Alex]

Like, to labor.

[John]

To labor. I was like, holy shit. Because your core, you're. You're. You're pushing. I'm like, wow. Because you have a good core.

[Alex]

Right? I wonder, though, if that does. I'm sure it's not apples to.

[John]

I think having a strong core when you're pushing for delivery. Yeah, I think that correlates well.

[Alex]

I don't know. I don't know what it was, but I am just so thankful that I was not pushing for a long time and made such an easy delivery. They go. Reached out. You could feel her head, and it was so slimy. And I was like, holy shit. Like, I'm literally about to have a kid. And then when they put her on me, I lost. I. I just started bawling. But I also was like, who are you?

[John]

I know she didn't look like either one of us. Like, who's ba. I was like, I'm getting a paternity test right now.

[Alex]

I think that's like the craziest part though, too, is it's. It's. You're so exhausted. You've been growing this human for nine months. And then when you actually meet them. I know that a lot of people have said. Have said you don't feel this flood of emotions or you do, but for us, we didn't. I don't think it was until a few hours later where we got, like, real. No.

[John]

We've been doing this for two years.

[Alex]

A dream. And I was just like, what? Like, she's mine and she's here. And like, I just did that and I don't feel anything. My legs are a thousand pounds. They're just like sewing me up down there. And I'm like, what happened? What. What day is it?

[John]

So my experience during this, I'm always so flat effect in situations of, like, health situations. I don't know.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I think the whole time I was like, okay, put. They're telling Alex, like, push, push, push. And I feel like I should be contributing. I'm like, yeah, push, Alex. Push, John.

[Alex]

I hear John in my ear and because again, Epidural like, really keeps you chill. So I'm just like, okay, so I'm pushing. I almost, like, look at John as she's annoyed with me, as he's cheering me on, because I could tell it's like, not.

[John]

It's forced.

[Alex]

Yes.

[John]

It's so forced.

[Alex]

It did not feel genuine at all. You're like, you got this, Al.

[John]

I feel like they were looking at me like I wasn't being supportive enough. I'm like, holding your hand. I'm like, go, go, go, go. Push, push.

[Alex]

You have been actually more supportive of me on the squat rack than me giving labor.

[John]

It was just like.

[Alex]

And I could tell, though, like, I think you were nervous. Like, or maybe not nervous, but, like, I think you were also having your own experience in the same.

[John]

Like, what is going on?

[Alex]

Yeah, because I could see.

[John]

I think it was more so, like, I didn't want to just, like, add to stress or anything that's going on. Like, I'm not the expert here, right. I'll hold your hand.

[Alex]

I know my part, what it was. Overall, we truly were like, we just surrendered. We were like, we are trusting our doctors. Like, I didn't go in with all this knowledge about, like, Pitocin and what I wanted to do and all these birth plans, because I was like, the birth plan again is to get.

[John]

We had an amazing ob. Her team was amazing, her staff was amazing. The hospital staff was awesome. Like, I had. I had full confidence, all right.

[Alex]

And all of them.

[John]

So in this quick laboring that you had, our doctor's like, john, look, look down. I'm like, I do not want to.

[Alex]

John the whole time was like, I'm.

[John]

Not gonna look, but I'm not gonna be a. When you might. When the OB tells me to look. So I look, I. I see. I'm like, cool. And I don't think she got, like, the reaction. It wasn't that I wasn't like, so happy. I just like, I don't need that. So she goes, look. I look down. I look, I go. And then I kind of like, look back at Alex and she comes and it's my turn to cut the umbilical cord. She goes, you want to cut him? Like, hell yeah, I want to cut it. I go over there, gives me scissors. I start snipping away. I'm not cutting it. It's getting smashed in the scissors.

[Alex]

You're left.

[John]

I'm fucking left handed. I'm cutting the umbilical cord. It's not going. Then I have two hands.

[Alex]

I'm like, it's just like rubber.

[John]

Oh, it was just high pressure situation. I was not clutch. I'm like. And then I was able to cut it, but still, that's.

[Alex]

And I didn't even know that you cut it. I feel like I was just like so out of it, like, just looking at her.

[John]

You also asked me like, did I? I'm like, I honestly did not. I did not look to the right. I just focused on the chord that.

[Alex]

But also everyone, they told me no, but I'm like, are you lying? But I also, I was like, for 12 minutes. Like, the fact that I push out a baby quicker than you take your shits.

[John]

Probably. Yeah.

[Alex]

No for fact.

[John]

Okay. Yeah. I did take a photo of the placenta. It looks like the thing from Alien. Do you ever see the movie Alien that? The little ones that go on their face. Yeah, that's what that looked like.

[Alex]

People, most people, I think know what a placenta looks like.

[John]

I don't think.

[Alex]

I guess maybe I've only dudes.

[John]

What dudes are like, let me look up what a placenta is.

[Alex]

Because like, when Leo had a compromised placenta, I was like, what is this placenta look like? And so I just.

[John]

Seeing it in person is different than a photo.

[Alex]

Yeah, I guess I'm just saying.

[John]

I was like, oh, this thing's cool. Looking cool. It's weird.

[Alex]

Like, what kept her alive?

[John]

What doesn't? You know?

[Alex]

Yeah. So I don't know. For me, the labor part, easy peasy. 10 out of 10 would do it 10 more times.

[John]

With an epidural.

[Alex]

With an epidural postpartum. That was a beast that I did not anticipate because, I mean, once the epidural wore off, I was like, oh, shit. Now I have to deal with this.

[John]

Yeah. And I still can't judge your pain because you were still like. You're still like, okay. But I never know, like, your actual pain threshold.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, this is uncomfortable.

[Alex]

Yeah, I mean, it was very. It's just, I think when you have a vaginal delivery, there's. It's. You have to end up doing anytime you go to the bathroom. A 12 step skincare routine for your vagine. Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, my God, I can't just pee. I gotta spray her down. I gotta make this, this giant sandwich. I gotta ice her up. I gotta. And it's for like a solid week. But then, like, you turn a corner and it really, it's fine.

[John]

Like seeing all these little stepping stones in, like, for progression definitely helps. So you're like, okay, I no longer need this.

[Alex]

Yes. Yeah. You know, yeah. For a minute we were both in diapers. Now we're not. Now Lucy's only in diapers.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

For the next however, having that little.

[John]

Cart thing in the bathroom was clutch, though.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Alex had this like three leveled cart on wheels that had all of her vagina products.

[Alex]

Only did that because I saw someone do it on TikTok.

[John]

Smart.

[Alex]

Yeah. And which helps because it was like you just have so much that you need there for. For maintenance and care. But honestly, like I. And again, this could be because of losing Leo. I was afraid to give birth to a full term term baby prior. But after that, after our loss, I was like, dude, whatever it takes. Like all we have a lot of.

[John]

Friends who went full term baby had cord wrapped around. Like, we don't want to. We're at the finish line. Let's just.

[Alex]

So I was like, I had no expectations going into it. I didn't have like a set birth plan because I just, I didn't want to be disappointed. But I knew as long as I had a baby that was healthy and alive, like, I couldn't be disappointed. I was going to be just ecstatic that she was here and we both made it. And so I don't know. That to me was so much greater than the fear of giving birth.

[John]

And like OB even said sometimes they suggest doing a scheduled induced labor.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

You know, again, no.

[Alex]

Trust your own doctor and your own provider.

[John]

Whatever you want to do. But going back to. So Lucy's here now we go to labor or not labor and delivery. Like post recovery room.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the maternity ward. Is that what it's called?

[John]

Yeah, the wing.

[Alex]

Whatever.

[John]

Again, really nice place. There's only so many rooms. Another place I would like her to. Lucy to get an internship.

[Alex]

You're like just putting her. You just want her to be a nurse.

[John]

We're in there and it's just like two days of confusion. Nurses in and out, learning how to swaddle. I just. Let's start with thank God Lucy latched immediately. Yeah, I mean, I think that was huge for us. And you guys are doing great. Like, that's breastfeeding, everything going on. I learned how to swaddle pretty easily. Changing diapers. I used to do that. So like wheat somehow, like. Or we're already kind of prepared again.

[Alex]

Another thing that people say that you don't believe when they're like, oh, you'll figure it out. It'll all come to you. It really weirdly does.

[John]

Like not for everyone.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

But for us. We just. We got so lucky with that. With that stuff. So one thing that happened was, I think, something that happens in a hospital where there's miscommunication. Everyone has a different opinion. Every nurse was saying one thing. Doctors were saying, consultants.

[Alex]

Everybody has.

[John]

We saw three different lactation. Each one of them said something different.

[Alex]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John]

I'm not knocking any of them. They all probably are right in their own way. But you have a protocol in a hospital. And so one lactation, was she. Or she's just an rn. Someone gave us a pacifier to give Lucy, and I'm like, all right. Well, you told us to have it, so.

[Alex]

Yeah. And we don't know. So we're like, all right, if she's being fussy in the middle of the night, like, I'm not gonna.

[John]

We don't know anything.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

So we gave it to her. We're like, okay. And the day of discharge, a pediatrician.

[Alex]

Comes in and was like, where'd you get that? And we're like, oh. So we didn't say who we were just.

[John]

I love how we didn't even. Like, we already are on the, you know, rat. We're not rat.

[Alex]

Oh, I'm not a fudgeing rat. And so they're like, where did you get this? We were like, oh, someone who had come in, you know, I was like.

[John]

There'S so many nurses in and out. Like, we did.

[Alex]

Another lactation consultant came in and was like, you need to tell us who it was specifically. And I was like, I'm a new mom. We haven't slept. We're exhausted. I really. I would tell you if I remembered her name, maybe send a mass email out.

[John]

I was like, I don't even remember what she looks like. It was late at night.

[Alex]

I was like, no, but she, like.

[John]

Wants to reprimand this nurse.

[Alex]

I'm not ratting her out. We loved her.

[John]

Yeah. She's the one who helped us.

[Alex]

Exactly. Yeah. So I don't know. I. But that is the other thing, too. Not just in the hospital, but I'm sure outside of the hospital, everybody's going to have conflicting opinions on what you should do for feeding, what you should do for changing, what you should do for sleep schedules and whatnot, or pacifiers. And I think that ultimately you have to take what information you are interested in, what feels good to you, and just trust your gut as a parent. Because, like, we really have been so low stress about it, and I feel like it's really making her a Low stress baby because she's like very chill, minus like, you know, of course she's waking up in the middle of the night for feeds because her belly is still so small, her stomach. But other than that, it's like really in our experience.

[John]

Well, she's not college, she's not anything.

[Alex]

Has not been bad.

[John]

It hasn't been bad. You know how we, a long time ago, we're like, what's one thing? Because someone asked, had us, somebody asked us a question about wedding day. Like, like, what's one thing we should do? And it's kind of like take a moment, just the two of you. And I think that works in this situation too. So Alex and I, it's like 7:30, we pull into labor and delivery parking lot and we look at each other and we just took a moment, just the two of us, before going in because we actually thought we were going to be there for three days on lockdown.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

So it's not actually why we did this, but we just sat there and we just kind of talked to each other. We just talked about, you know, what, what we wanted out of this. We're just so excited for Lucy to come for us to get the out of the hospital. But Alex did ask me, like, what's something that you're most excited about? Being a father. And I said in full transparency how I feel bad, but I feel complete that we have Lucy now, even though we lost Leo. And I don't know like, how to feel about that. And you said something to me along the lines of losing Leo is the reason why we feel like we're missing something at all. And I, I don't know, that kind of just stuck with me.

[Alex]

Yeah, I mean, I think because, and I had told so many people this, like after losing Leo, that it does change you regardless, like your, your heart, you know, as like lame as that sounds when you grow a baby, especially to the gestation that we were, I, I, I felt a hole in our heart, you know, Like, I just, I don't think that if we had gone through that loss that they, that we would necessarily even like have the desire to start a family as, as strongly as we did. And so having Lucy was because we lost Leo. But I don't know. What was the question?

[John]

Just things we talked about, like just having a moment just before going in. And then I think I asked you the same thing, like, what are you most excited about?

[Alex]

Yeah, I couldn't tell you right now.

[John]

Yeah, right. But I just think that's something like if you guys are scheduling an inducement or even, like, a day before induction?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, sorry. Induction? Yeah, yeah. If you're like, a scheduled induction or whatever, at some point close to the finish line, like, take a moment to two of you. Like, we even went out to dinner right before just to spend some time together. And I think that's really important.

[Alex]

That's what was nice about having a scheduled induction, at least, like, for us. And our experience was that, like, we were able to prepare. We got Kobe at my parents for. For them to watch him. It was just a very relaxed, chill environment. And that's, like, what we wanted going into this. But I do want to bring up one thing about being bothered by everyone in the hospital postpartum. Like, when you are recovering, you have people, like, giving you meds and asking about payment insurance, like, birth certificate, lactation consultant, peds, whatever. So the girl who's doing the birth certificate comes in and she's like, can you just. To me again, I'm on, like, 30 seconds of sleep. She's like, can you just, like, verify all this information? I look at it, and I'm like, huh, Looks good. We get, like, the actual draft of the birth certificate. John's reading it. He's like, alex, my name is literally spelled wrong. I'm like, don't ask me anything. I don't even know what day it is.

[John]

That's true. Like, leave the mother alone.

[Alex]

Why am I in charge of this? I don't know where you were at that point.

[John]

I was probably trying to sleep or something. I don't know.

[Alex]

I would say again, overall, like, 10 out of 10.

[John]

10 out of 10.

[Alex]

Do I want to do it immediately right now, again? Absolutely not.

[John]

Or ever?

[Alex]

No. I love Lucy so much, and I'm just so.

[John]

Also, everyone who thankful to be people are saying, did they think that we said her name made her name after a book or something? Or Hunger Games?

[Alex]

Oh, I guess there's a character in Hunger Games called Lucy Gray. She's not named after that. Lucy is my great grandmother's name, and it's John's grandma's name, so it was a family name. And then Gray is a tribute to Leo, his middle name. So Lucy Gray.

[John]

Yeah, but, I mean, it almost was Lucy Alexandra.

[Alex]

Yeah, but. But I was like, I just. Because it was more. It was pretty. But I was like, do people name their kids after themselves? But I guess you're named after your dad.

[John]

My middle name. Yeah. If you wanted, I would have been fired. I just really wanted Lucy Gray, tribute to Leo and also, like, I don't want her to have some long fucking name and be tortured. Like, my whole name trying to write that shit out my whole life is annoying.

[Alex]

I have the longest name. I have so many syllables. I had 10 syllables in my full name.

[John]

Cool.

[Alex]

Growing up.

[John]

You aren't dyslexic.

[Alex]

Marrying you. I just knocked it down.

[John]

I wrote my name. My, my. I don't even know if I ever said this. The first time I wrote my name, I go, dad, look, I wrote my name. Every letter was mirrored. Every letter was backwards. He goes, oh, we got a problem.

[Alex]

I know. We know you're dyslexic shot. And it's crazy.

[John]

So we could keep going and going and talking about this, but maybe next episode we talk about our postpartum journey. Family visiting, friends visiting. Because that' lot was going on there.

[Alex]

First pediatrician trip.

[John]

Yeah, there's. Yeah, there's so much. But yeah, so we'll. We'll move on from that and just dive in.

[Alex]

Yeah. I feel like we could get into questions because, again, we wanted this to mostly be about, like, birth, delivery, postpartum, whatever. So, yeah, we'll get into all the fun stuff next week.

[John]

Yay.

[Alex]

I mean, what are we now, like, a parent podcast?

[John]

Like, no, no, I don't want to be. No, I want to be everything podcast.

[Alex]

Yeah, but I mean, again, but this is a. The time. This is just the things that we're doing now. Like, you're.

[John]

This is a pivotal point in our life. It's like graduating high school, getting married, kid dying. Those are, like, the biggest things.

[Alex]

No, that's it. Like, the next step is dying. Like, knock on what?

[John]

Hopefully, maybe grandkids then dying.

[Alex]

Yeah, like, college for her. We have more career milestones. Her wedding. We get win an Oscar, movies, commercials to do.

[John]

So then dying.

[Alex]

Please do not die. Like, please don't die yet. All right, let's get into questions. So these are going to be quickies. I feel like. Let's just do, like.

[John]

I love quickies.

[Alex]

Let's just do, like, the speed round. All right, question one, John, did you end up shaving the lady bits?

[John]

No, No, I did, but I asked. I went in there with you. I was like, you want me to shave this? You go, actually, I think I got it.

[Alex]

Yeah, I definitely took the time. It was like 30 minutes. I think it took me to. And you know what? I'm actually glad that I did. Some people were like, who cares? We don't want to. I didn't want to deal with it. Postpartum I was very glad that I cleaned it up.

[John]

That's true.

[Alex]

You probably gotten a wax. But I was like, I've never gotten a full Brazilian before.

[John]

I've gotten Some women say you're not supposed to get it done because like the bacteria on your pubes are like.

[Alex]

I have no idea. But I like to keep her trim. Yeah, you're just lying.

[John]

No, she said something about pubes for the baby.

[Alex]

I mean, pubes are natural. Like you're born with.

[John]

You're not born with pubes. Brushes past her face and gives her like some sort of like immunity.

[Alex]

It's like going through a car wash.

[John]

A Brillo pad car wash. Yeah, she's.

[Alex]

Just like it clean. It's exfoliating for her skin. So. No, he didn't. I did. John, what was. Or I guess this one's for me. What was the most unexpected thing about giving birth? How chill the actual birth itself was. That was the most unexpected thing.

[John]

Her head coming out a little odd shaped right in the beginning that she.

[Alex]

Was in the birth canal that long.

[John]

I know, but it went back to normal. But it was a little like elongated at first. I was like, holy, that happens. Well, I know, but still to see it.

[Alex]

John, any tips on how to show up for your partner during birth?

[John]

Just be there, be present. I'm. I'm always asking, like, what do you need? What do you want? What do you need? What do you want? Because that's all I know how to do. Don't. I don't. I'm not gonna. I'm not a person to just think outside the box. Just. I want to do what you need specifically.

[Alex]

And for me it was arm scratches the whole time.

[John]

During the whole pregnancy? Is that what he's saying?

[Alex]

No, during the birth itself. And then, John, what was. Were you shocked by anything birth wise? I guess you just said that. Her head.

[John]

Yeah, her head. Like the. It's so not medieval. What is it like so like animalistic. What? What it is? What's the word I'm looking for?

[Alex]

People talk about like raw, not like natural, like primal.

[John]

Primal? Very primal. Yeah.

[Alex]

I mean, yeah.

[John]

Staying coming out of your body is a God.

[Alex]

I know, but it has to come out one way or another.

[John]

It wasn't too bad. Just don't be a bitch and pass out.

[Alex]

Sit down if you're feeling.

[John]

Support your part, you know you need to do. Support your partner and don't pass the fuck.

[Alex]

You know what I realized too? I was watching back. I'm holding my own legs. You. You're not even holding my legs.

[John]

Hold your hand.

[Alex]

You. You. I think you, like, must have been holding my arm because, like, I'm holding my legs.

[John]

I didn't know the position I was supposed to be. I kind of like had my arm over your head and then I think I was pulling your hair at one point. I'm like, I'm doing more damage.

[Alex]

You're just patting me on the head there. Good job.

[John]

I'm so emotionally supportive. I'm more like, I could help you task wise. Emotionally.

[Alex]

You did. Honestly, I wasn't even focused on you at all. Next question. What is something. As new parents, that's been easier than you both expected. I know you are in the new world trenches right now, but you will look back and miss it so much. So it's been easier.

[John]

The cues that she gives us, like, thank God we're starting annoying her enough to. We're like, again, just the saving grace is the title.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

We're like, I'm like, okay, patting her. Doesn't want to burp. Putting her down. Doesn't want to sleep. Cry, cry, cry. What can I do? Give her the tit. But yeah, Alex is the. The milk farm and I'm the poop guy.

[Alex]

That's what we say. I'm like, hand her over to the cow. You're the poop man.

[John]

Yeah. We're also not doing something right. I. You know what is?

[Alex]

We're not pros at this. We've literally been doing this for three weeks. We don't know what the one thing.

[John]

We'Re not doing and what you're supposed to do is consistently and have a schedule. We don't have any of that stuff. The. The nighttime routine we have is probably horrible, but it works for us because we do get to still, I don't know, sleep a little bit in the morning.

[Alex]

We're doing our best. Okay. I'm not gonna, like, set the standard for us.

[John]

Okay.

[Alex]

Like, to have a set schedule, we need results. So. Yeah, and that's the thing. It's like, I have this high expectation of, like, girlfriend should be sleeping through the night by now.

[John]

No, she should be doing our two minutes old fucking taxes.

[Alex]

Next question. Labor. Alex, what are your thoughts on having a midwife and a doula? Did you have either or both? Also, would you change anything about your labor journey? So I thought about getting a midwife or a doula just for educational purposes. And also that way we had someone who was an unbiased person to, like, kind of advocate for us in the hospital setting. But Then I was like, nah, it's. It. Is it really going to make a difference? And for some people, it might give you peace of mind, but I just, like, didn't feel.

[John]

I still want more cooks in the kitchen.

[Alex]

And that's what it was too. I was like, I have John. He's.

[John]

Because I'm so strong. Yeah.

[Alex]

Yeah. He knows I love my ob. We, like, knew so many people who I delivered at this hospital that we delivered at. I really just had a lot of peace surrounding the delivery in general. Again, I think, because I had no expectations going into it, so I didn't get one. But I could see where it would be beneficial if you have. If you're a high anxiety person or if maybe your partner. I don't want to say if your partner's not supportive, but, like, if it might make life easier for you and your partner to have another.

[John]

If you're gonna get anything. Because, look, we work from home, we're together all the time, so it's different for us. We don't necessarily need it. A night nurse.

[Alex]

Yeah, that would be.

[John]

If you can afford that, you have to go back to work. Our OB did that.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

She's like, I got a night nurse. I don't know how you'd be functioning the next day.

[Alex]

I can't imagine. But again, are most people going back to work three weeks after? Some people, yeah.

[John]

What I mean, even if it's. The husband has to go back and then you're by herself.

[Alex]

It is not easy by any means, but it is not like it's. It's worth it. It's weird. It's a weird thing to say. Next question. Is recovering from birth miserable? Because I'm so active, I'm more scared of recovery than giving birth. I already hate my period, so bleeding for weeks sounds like a living hell to me. Again, I think everybody and everybody is different. I did not bleed for weeks. Bled for the first week. And again, the first week is miserable. But, like, you already know that and, like, you're gonna be uncomfortable. But then, like, once you get past that first week, like, every day gets better. Every week gets easier. I. We've been through harder things, and I just feel like my body has been through harder things. Maybe not. My body has actually never been through a harder thing, so I don't know why I just said that. But, like, I just. Just feel like I'm mentally prepared for it to be so much worse that way. It actually was.

[John]

I think planning for everything to be worse makes it so much better. When it's not.

[Alex]

Yeah. And you just have to know, like, your body's healing, you have to rest. Because I'm also an active person. So I was like, okay, I'm going to actually rest this first week to two weeks. Do nothing. Then I started slowly incorporating walks and then longer walk. And you know, just listen to your body. And even when you start to feel better on the outside, you still have this wound that's healing on the inside right where your placenta was. So you just got to like chill and know like, you'll get back to your active life eventually. Next question. Now that you're a few weeks in, what baby products are your must haves versus ones you would skip? So what are. Let's talk about the ones that we would skip.

[John]

I know exactly which product I would not get. What, the baby nail file. Oh, fuck that thing.

[Alex]

Maybe we just don't know how to use it.

[John]

If you don't know what it is. It's electronic. You put this little like sander and like sands their, their fingernails. I gave her all hangnails. It's like zip hangnail and it like, I'm like, just come off.

[Alex]

Yeah. So we ended up just buying the clippers.

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But for me, I'm like, what is a baby product that we haven't used?

[John]

The other thing is the, the automatic bottle dryer thing.

[Alex]

Like, we didn't, we didn't put that on our register. Like, we didn't register for like that bottle washing thing. Because even when we were like, oh, if we need to supplement with formula or if we're going to, if I'm going to pump first, we were just like, oh, we'll just hand wash them.

[John]

And we got the rack that you can hang it on.

[Alex]

Yeah. Or whatever. Put them in the dishwasher. I just like, I don't like things taking counter space.

[John]

No.

[Alex]

Oh, so that's the other thing too, is even like the baby. Yeah, the formula heater upper. Like it's like the keurig for formula. We haven't used that yet. But even like when we have used like, or used a bottle, you just shake it in the bottle. Right. Like, that's like what our plan is.

[John]

To do a protein shake.

[Alex]

So I'm like, why do people use the baby brezza? Just because, like, it's just easier.

[John]

That baby brezza, by the way, is like our coffee machine where you have to descale it, clean it out.

[Alex]

It's just like too many, like, it's too much extra work and cleaning and.

[John]

Again, the difference is we're supplementing right now breast milk and. And formula, like at night. But some people, that's. If their baby's not latching or they can't get breast milk, they're only doing formula. So maybe that works for them.

[Alex]

Or if you are pumping exclusively, whatever, have to figure out what works for you. What I have loved, though, is having the bassinet for our walks with her. Yeah, like, that has just been so nice because I just feel like being able to transfer that between the car seat and the stroller because, like, she just gets to stress stretch out in the bassinet. Like getting. Doing your mental health walks, which is actually something that I want to talk about. There is a trend going around or there has been a trend called the hot dad walk. And I could not wait to film you doing the hot dad walk out of the hospital. I was pre planning it before we even went into the hospital. And this is something too. Content creators. I don't know how so many people are able to create content in the hospital or even out of the hospital. We shot like one video while I was having contractions.

[John]

After that, you're like, fuck that.

[Alex]

I was like, I couldn't think straight. Like, I don't know how people are doing these, like beautiful photo shoots in there, shooting content. Because everything that I had planned to do went out of my mind the second that happened.

[John]

Quick though. It wasn't. It wasn't like a drawn out process. Like, you, boom, you're right into like laboring, right?

[Alex]

But I'm talking about like postpartum, like, so even when we were recovering, I was like, oh, I had all these ideas for like, content that we were gonna do. Didn't think of any of it. So we have to do a car seat check. So, like, the Hot dad walk is where John. Or like where a husband picks up the car seat and, you know, the wife gets wheeled out, mom gets wheeled out behind, and she's recording her husband pick up the car seat. It's like, oh, I carried my baby for nine months. Now it's time for my hot husband to carry my baby out of the hospital. So we do the car seat check and we have the nuna pipa air, which is like, actually extremely easy to use, which is something that we were also worried about.

[John]

Another thing where Alex says she contributed in. I'm the one who put the car seat in, so this is where I'll step in.

[Alex]

Okay. John teaching me how to use it.

[John]

Was the car seat. I'm dumb. Okay. This.

[Alex]

Don't say that about yourself.

[John]

Directions, whatever. This was simple. Like, if I can do it, anyone can do it. The car seat, by the way, throughout the whole pregnancy, coming from our friends and family, the guys, the dads, like, you better. You better learn about the car seat now. You better learn about the car seat now. Two weeks before we go, and I'm like, all right, I'll take a look at the car seat, whip out this nuna. I put that thing in maybe the first time. The first. So I got two of them. First car, put it in. Takes me 10 minutes. Second car, put it in under 5 minutes.

[Alex]

Really no problem.

[John]

I know how to do it. Easy. Extend the leg, put the thing in, make sure it's secure.

[Alex]

You have to show me. Because if I ever have to, like, reinstall it, because I just know how to.

[John]

So it's so like it.

[Alex]

Do her straps, whatever.

[John]

I'm like, install. I'm reading directions, I'm installing it. It's like if your infants infancy, put it on one, click it in one, it's secure. Right against the back of the seat. Put the leg down, which I love that about the car seat. You put this leg down on the floor. When it's green, it's level, it's good to go. And to double secure it, you get the seat belt coming across and you lock the seat belt in place in there. This bitch is going nowhere.

[Alex]

John was so proud.

[John]

By bitch, I mean carsi, not my daughter.

[Alex]

John was so proud after he installed. He's like, you gotta check this out.

[John]

Well, because everyone freaking out. I'm like, chomps, no problem.

[Alex]

He's like, this is how you loosen the straps. This is where it needs to go. So you were excited when we were in the hospital. You were like, oh, I'm set. Because I'm like, oh, now it's go time. Like, we're ready. This is the last step before leaving the hospital, is securing her in her little car seat.

[John]

I pull up, confident, pull up with the car.

[Alex]

You didn't pull up with the car. You went out to the car. You brought the car seat.

[John]

Yeah, well, I'm skipping. Yeah, I brought out. Left her with you. She's in the car seat. I pull up in the car, open up that door, take that, take that car seat, and then click it in. It's just a slight boop, click, and she's in.

[Alex]

You're still skipping so many steps. No, we still had to, like, show the nurse that we knew how to put her in it. And number one you didn't?

[John]

Oh no, no, no, no, no. Like the nurse, you're putting her actually in the car seat. That's what I'm talking about, like putting.

[Alex]

It her in the car seat.

[John]

So no, I skipped that step.

[Alex]

Putting her in is actually easier too because I was like, how is she actually going to fit? And thankfully this is what was good about being in the hospital. You really do learn a lot. So they taught us like you need to have the shoulder pads up on their shoulders, which squishes her like little face. And then again two fingers over the chest belt or whatever. We tighten the straps.

[John]

Two fingers under like.

[Alex]

Yes.

[John]

What's the word I'm looking for? Like you don't tension more than two fingers or something like that.

[Alex]

But anyway, we got her in there safely and secure, which was very easy.

[John]

Like an F1 car seat.

[Alex]

She looks like she was ready strapped in and she loved it. She was so comfortable. She was already like falling asleep in it. And so I thought for some reason that I was going to have to be wheeled out. You know, I also am having.

[John]

I don't even remember. Did you walk out?

[Alex]

Yeah, I walked my ass out. And so I'm like, okay, cool. Like I'm going to like get in a wheelchair. All my bags are going to like be taken for me and I'm going to have this moment where I'm going to be able to like, like film John taking her out. None of that happened. I also didn't remember to even like film you taking her until we're like exiting out the doors. So I was like whatever. Sometimes content just pass. But I did get some B roll of you just like passing past the like nurses station holding her and stuff. And it was still so cute. But we get her in the car super easy. She falls asleep immediately.

[John]

Think also we are so close to the hospital, which is nice. So no problems. Boom, first car trip, zero problems.

[Alex]

But it is scary though because it's like once you have your baby, that is your most precious cargo. So being able to have her in a brand that we trust and in a brand that is secure.

[John]

Well, it's highly recommended. I mean that was normally everyone always kept saying nuna, nuna. So yeah, a no brainer.

[Alex]

Well, the best part too is like all of their products are interchangeable which makes it so easy to use everything.

[John]

I consider a slightly minimalist by the way. And just it's like the car seat, bassinet, stroller. Just like the three of those together from Nuna. It's just like when we see friends and family and they like roll up and they have nine gazillion things with them and we just roll with our little, little package deal we got there.

[Alex]

That's it.

[John]

And I, I love that, I love that we keep it simple.

[Alex]

So in regards to products that we would recommend at least brands nuna for sure it's safe, reliable, easy to use and interchangeable between all of their different products that you have.

[John]

Yeah. So anyways, you can, you know, go visit Nunababy.com to learn more about their products and it's 10 out of 10 out of 10. Get it?

[Alex]

And then you could film your husband doing the hot dead walk and try not to forget like I did.

[John]

Personally, I would have saved this for Rex. The whole conversation I've been having up to this point about baby clothes buttons or zippers. Magnets. We don't have any magnets. But I will say one brand of clothes for babies that have, have been working out great for Lucy is Carter's.

[Alex]

Oh yeah.

[John]

Well, the zip, it's worked out great. Stretch material.

[Alex]

There's, there's a lot of brands that have, I mean there's, of course there's.

[John]

A lot of brands. But the ones that I've been like putting on her when she has a blowout at 2am Is Carter's because I'm like, I don't want to deal with anything. And it's just easy to zipper in and zipper out.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, and like I don't mind the three button little like tank top onesie thing she wears.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

I keep telling Alex I feel like a pit crew. I roll her in there, I'm like, do a stopwatch. I can get it done in like.

[Alex]

No, you're already doing such dad things. Like every time you swaddle her, you go, you're under arrest. And then freeze. She puts her, he puts her arms out and he's like arms behind your back. But he like just wraps him on her side and he's like, stay where you are, you're under arrest. And I hear him whispering it to her at 3am like after I feed her, he change her diaper and he goes, get over here, you're under arrest.

[John]

Wait, what happened? What happened? Actually at three in the morning, this morning I'm cuz I'm just our, this is our game plan of how we do it. Alex will wake her up. Or she wakes up, Alex feeds her, burps her. I'm partially asleep. Like the light sleep, you know.

[Alex]

Yeah. So I'll like tap John when It's time. If he's like dead asleep, I'll just change the diaper. But like he's normally I'm changing the diaper. Yeah.

[John]

So like we're both basically up every two and a half hours. So I'm lightly sleeping. I kind of like hear Lucy coo or whatever and I open up my eyes and me opening up my eyes. If you're watching this, I'm like this looking up to look at Lucy and I look at Alex's face. Alex is feeding and is looking down at me and this was the sight that I saw. She's like this like rage eyes, my hair raised on my body out of.

[Alex]

Me that I look down at you. I'm feeding her and I look to see if you're awake and your eyes are bug at me. It raised my hair because we scared each other. I go what are you looking at? And you're like what the fuck are you looking at? Like we both got so spooked by each other because it literally must have been the exact same time because I look down and all I see is your face like this. And I'm like I'm. I'm trying to hurry up. I can't rush her because I thought you were waiting. Like I'm trying to go back to sleeping.

[John]

I was like, are you mad at me?

[Alex]

I was like, right all I'll punch you.

[John]

Then we're both are just laughing hysterically.

[Alex]

Because I couldn't believe. Like it was so spooky for the both of us at 3am we're also just delirious. Anyway, let's move on to the next question. We have to like fly through these. Okay, next question. I recently gave birth to my son and during my pregnancy my mother in law never once called or texted me to see how I was doing. When she did come into town to visit, she would make comments about my house or my appearance that came across as insults. I never said anything because I wanted to keep the peace and I didn't want to add stress on myself. While being pregnant, I made several efforts to include her, like sending her ultrasound photos, but her responses were always very short. Now that the baby is here, she tells me, not my husband, that I need to send her photos and keep her updated with the baby. Since she doesn't live close, I really don't want to be the one to communicate with her after the lack of interest she showed me before my baby arrived. Am I the asshole for wanting to keep my distance from her now?

[John]

Do you think her lack of Participation in the pregnancy was her just like, like wanting her to come out healthy.

[Alex]

Oh.

[John]

Like for more putting an interest or like getting involved, like just kind of waiting to like that's really far fetched but you know, not putting a lot of stock in it until she's actually here.

[Alex]

I don't know, I'm just like, I'm the type of person.

[John]

But you're the pregnant one by the way. Like you're the one that's tired. You're the one that's going through this pregnancy. Like the grandma should give some effort.

[Alex]

Well, also her expecting you to give updates about the baby and not her son.

[John]

No, no, husb the opposite. She wants the son to give updates, not her.

[Alex]

No, in the question she was saying she expects the daughter in law to give her updates.

[John]

Let me read that part.

[Alex]

See, this is what happens. We're just too tired now that the baby is here. She tells me, not my husband, that I need to send her photos and keep her updated with the baby since she doesn't live close. No, I would be like, hey, I would just communicate that with your husband though too and just be like, your mom wants these updates. Give your mom the updates.

[John]

Just send her the fucking photo and video. Do you really want to have a battle with your in laws over that?

[Alex]

I also just feel personally that like your energy should be focused on your new baby at this point. Like why do you even care what your mother in law thinks? Like who cares? You're not the asshole. You're keeping your baby alive.

[John]

This isn't the grandmother who like popping the hole in the condom and knocked you and got you.

[Alex]

I found that out later.

[John]

Just send the photo. Like I don't, don't make it bigger than it is.

[Alex]

Or again, communicate to your husband that you want him to be the one to send the updates or that one.

[John]

Of you send the photo.

[Alex]

Keep grandma in the loop. Who, who knows why she wasn't involved? I don't, I don't know.

[John]

She does anything actually really bad than shoot us a question.

[Alex]

We gave 100% effort in the beginning and now our tanks are empty. Okay, next question. We definitely didn't answer that. So, so sorry.

[John]

I did. Yeah, don't make it a big deal because you're. Next question.

[Alex]

Right, Next question. I'm eight months postpartum and have been struggling to not feel resentful towards my husband when it comes to responsibilities for our baby. Work, household, et cetera. I went back to working full time when the baby was three months old and I am Also the breadwinner between the two of us, I still breastfeed, so I wake up at least once a night with the baby and have to be at work by 8am I shop for our groceries, make meals for us and the baby, handle all the admin tasks and make sure that the dog has everything she needs. Walks, vet checks, baths, et cetera. I feel like I'm doing it all while my husband is just along for the ride. I've spoken to him about my workload and mental load, but he seems to brush it off and always forgets when I ask him to take care of something. How do I make him understand that I can't do it all? And how do I stop myself from feeling resentful?

[John]

One, don't let me forget to call the vet because Kobe's appointment. We got to make one for him. 2. Okay, is that guy doing anything? Okay, let's talk about facts. So you're doing the vet, you're doing the finances, you're doing grocery shopping, you're doing baby care, you're doing house care.

[Alex]

So you're better off just like being divorced because are you alone?

[John]

Stressful, Maybe you're alone. Is this an imaginary husband? It seems like he's not there.

[Alex]

Sounds like you just have like someone else you have to take care of.

[John]

Because that's what you need, an extra body. Grow the fuck up, dude.

[Alex]

I know this is where it's like very important to choose your partner wisely and not marry.

[John]

Fucking loser guy questions. Just talking shit about girls. I feel like it's just constantly these guys just doing.

[Alex]

She just like don't have the self awareness but you know, what was he like before?

[John]

Yeah, well, did you set yourself up for this fucking disaster? Was he a piece of shit before? Did he not contribute to before? Was he not considerate of you?

[Alex]

I don't want to, but that's on YouTube.

[John]

Don't fucking stay with someone and then have a kid. It's the same conversation all the time. It could be. I'm not. I'm flipping this around on you. Yeah, because in the end it was.

[Alex]

Your decision, like you chose to marry this dude.

[John]

Come on. There's no way. He's just started being like, oh, baby's here now. I'm not going to. I'm going to chill. I did my part because I'm going.

[Alex]

To say that 10 out of 10 times when I hear people complain about their partners. These were pre existing things that they thought that maybe they would change eventually or having a kid would make them Step up in some sort of way.

[John]

No, you're.

[Alex]

The majority of times it doesn't happen.

[John]

You're adults in a adult relationship. You should have mutual respect for each other and be considerate of one another and help one another out. That's not happening.

[Alex]

Fucking marriage counselor. Because honestly I would do that.

[John]

No, no, don't even give her advice. Why would I give you advice? Because you're probably just going to do what you want anyways and that's why you're in the sit. You're in. Next question.

[Alex]

No, but I think like to be helpful if your partner is already not listening to what you're communicating to them. I think last straw to me would be marriage counseling to be like, he's.

[John]

Not going to do that either.

[Alex]

Right. But at least you could say that you tried and that you did your best to make it work. But like again, if you want to choose to stay with this person, that's up to you.

[John]

Some self respect. That's terrible. Like it's not normal. Well, based off of all these questions we have about shithead partners, it really is not normal to have a partner that's not considerate of you. You should be again, working grown ass people.

[Alex]

Yeah. Next question. My husband and I got married four months ago and I just found out that I'm pregnant, which was not part of our plan, but we're still super excited. I'm starting to feel very overwhelmed by the amount of opinions about newborns and pregnancy, especially on social media. Before I eat anything or take any medication, I google whether it's safe, but I'm met with way too many different opinions and facts. How do you manage the anxiety and overwhelming amount of information and opinions? As a first time mom, I say ignorance is bliss. Like of course there are things that I'm googling, but I take the pieces of information that I feel are makes sense for our family. I just feel like you could get completely bogged down and overwhelmed by all this information that is out there. So for me I just, I'm like, I trust my gut more than I don't want to say I trust my gut more than the information that is available because. But I trust my gut on deciding what to listen to.

[John]

I know you and our pediatrician, I was gonna say it, block out the noise. If you're getting overwhelmed by it. I get it. Shut shut the Instagram and tick tock and social media off. Because that is stressful and there's, there's fear mongering out there. Number one thing is find an ob, pediatrician, doctor that you trust fully and just get your information from them. Yeah, don't be Wikipedia and Googling.

[Alex]

They went to medical school for a bajillion years for a reason. Like, I think relying on Rob when I was pregnant was huge for getting me through that mentally. Like, any questions that we had. But also, like, our pediatrician, like, he's put us at ease so much because we're like, is this normal? Is that normal? Is that normal? Is this normal? Is this normal? Yes. The majority of times, everything is normal. And if not, like, again, they will direct you in a way.

[John]

It did make Lucy cry, though. And I. For some reason, I almost punched him.

[Alex]

See, but, like, that's a conversation I want to save for next episode because it was hilarious. Okay, next question. How did you navigate labor and delivery? I gave birth six months ago and took every class beforehand. But I felt totally unprepared for the intensity of the actual process. I was out of control at times, crying and experiencing all the pain and pressure without being sure what was or what wasn't normal. After delivery, I had such an appreciation for all the mothers in my life and what they had gone through. It was a traumatic experience in itself. Alex was a delivery process. What you expected. How did you handle it, John? How is it watching Alex go through delivery? And how did you provide support? So we kind of spoke about this a little bit earlier in the question. I just went in with zero expectations. And then my expectations exceeded because they were on the floor again. My birth plan was survive. That's it. Both of us survive. And so I think that. And also just the therapy that I had, like, really gone through to be at peace. Going into the labor and delivery experience, I just. I was unprepared. But I think that that actually helped me. But I think you have to know who you are as a person if being unprepared is going to be good for you, because ignorance is bliss. Or if you like to have all the information prior it just. Everybody's different.

[John]

Less. I think less is more. You know, there's too much information out there that's overwhelming. Have trust and confidence in your capabilities. Naturally, it will naturally come to you. I'm talking about, like, post. Once baby's there, labor, even though your body knows what it's going to do. I'm not gonna. I mean, you're a woman. I'm not gonna speak on. On that part. What was her, like, my experience? I know I talked about it.

[Alex]

Says, how is Alex? How is it watching? And how do you provide support. But we did touch on that.

[John]

So, yeah, the one thing that gets me every time and the same thing with, like, when we went through with, like, Leo, is when I see you uncomfortable or in pain, that's torture for me because I cannot help you in that situation. I could be there for you as much as possible, but, like, I hate that. Hate that. That gets to me. And I don't know how to navigate that part because that. That does stress me out.

[Alex]

Well, I think personally seeing the way that you were there for me was. You were kind of like, like my mouthpiece when I was in too much pain. You were the one who was, like, getting the nurses if I needed something. Like, if I was like, hey, I have a question on this. You were like, out the. On your feet in one second. You're like, what else? Anything else you want me to ask them while I'm out there? Or, you know, is this normal? You were very.

[John]

I don't think I said it like that. I. Again, coming from a healthcare background, being calm. You have to be calm.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John]

It's not about me. I'm not. I don't need to be there stressing you out even more. And if you're that type of person, just. Just walk away.

[Alex]

Right.

[John]

And give yourself a beat. Because I'm supposed to be in the supportive role.

[Alex]

Yeah. And this isn't a time in your life where you want to be high stress. And that's why I say, like, it depends on what type of person you are. If more information is going to give you peace, great. If less information is going to give you peace, great. You just have to know. And for me, I was like, ignorance is bliss. I don't want to know anything. Let's just go into this blind. And it worked. Yeah. So that's. That's all she wrote for today. I mean, we. We had such a long intro that.

[John]

We were like, we have to cut this a little.

[Alex]

I know. And, like, we sped through these questions, but we'll, like, you know, give more updates next week if you guys are. I'm actually interested in them.

[John]

I think next week's episode's gonna be a little more, well, humorous.

[Alex]

Well, because it's fun. Because it's like things that we've done with her, actually, since she's been here, and I'm just, like, happy to be back, too, because I feel like we've had so much that we wanted to talk about, but I do have a secret. It. Do you want me to read it?

[John]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Okay. Secret. The only Secret. I was gonna say secret number one. I regret the name we chose for our daughter. Her name is Charlotte and I don't think it's a bad name, but it doesn't suit her. It's also so popular right now. We've already met a couple of other Charlottes and she's only four months old. I can't help but hear other names and wish we had gone with something different. Oh, well, it's fine. I'm sure this is something I'll look back on and laugh about on the inside when she's older.

[John]

You can't be the only one.

[Alex]

You can change it if you don't like it though.

[John]

Can't. I mean, yeah, but is that weird?

[Alex]

It's probably more of a to do that. But like, who cares? She's only four months. I adopted Kobe and his name was Gabe and now it's Kobe. I changed his name.

[John]

What if he just perked up right now?

[Alex]

No, he didn't.

[John]

That has to suck though. Like. Yeah, I would really, really think and consider about what you want to name your kid because it's going to last a lifetime unless you go through that. But. Oh, that's tough.

[Alex]

I think you could change it.

[John]

You can, but it's a. Like you said.

[Alex]

Yeah. Anyway, that's. That's it. I can't wait to give you guys more updates about, you know.

[John]

Did you give a wreck and tired?

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. Let me give Rex.

[John]

Only give one. We don't want to blow through them.

[Alex]

Okay. No, the wreck that I'm going to give is postpartum related. I was not aware, especially if you are going to be breastfeeding clothes, how accessible my boobies needed to be or just everything. Like you are truly a specimen after giving birth. So loose sweatpants, dark ones because you're just gonna be leaking through and then also button down shirts and nursing bras because you just have to be able to be free, so. And the postpartum sweats, you're real. I mean, I had them with Leo and I like forgotten how horrible they are, but I'm like, I wake up every 2am soaked.

[John]

Another little like milestone that we can't wait to get through.

[Alex]

Oh my gosh. I know. It's just all of it. But yeah. So just loose clothes and button down shirts, nursing bras. You got this.

[John]

I already gave my racks Carter's. Oh, that is. I. I just. I actually, really, really do like their clothes.

[Alex]

They have such cute little outfits. I bought her some fall clothes.

[John]

The fact that I can go from Remove brief. Put butt lotion on the thing. Wipe ass. Put her. Put that on her. All in a span of two minutes. Because I could zip it to Carter. Snow problem or even the three button.

[Alex]

I'm here. I'm not here to say it's not Carter's, because Carter's has great clothes, but I think there's a lot of other brands that we have. It's. It's just the type of outfit that it is.

[John]

Whatever.

[Alex]

That's the one.

[John]

For some reason, I keep pulling out these Carter clothes, so I don't know where the other ones are.

[Alex]

I went ham on their website, all this stuff.

[John]

But anyway, wait, wait. I also recommend.

[Alex]

Oh, my God, John, how many rats?

[John]

Well, I would recommend just a gazillion newborn diapers, but we'll talk about that next time.

[Alex]

Oh, geez. Yeah. Can never have too many, which we didn't realize.

[John]

All right, guys, like, subscribe Email comment.

[Alex]

If you want to follow us, you can find us everywhere. Give it to me Straight podcast. If you want to email us an anonymous question, you could do that. Well, I guess not. Email us. If you just want to email us, hit it's helloiveitome. Straight podcast.com. if you want to send us an anonymous question, you could do on our website or in our show notes.

[John]

And we'll see you next week.

[Alex]

Ciao. Bye. Wow, we're rusty.

[John]

Bye.

[Alex]

Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episod.