74. Giving you distant friends, affairs, and seasons of life

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Give It To Me Straight
Episode: 74 – "Giving you distant friends, affairs, and seasons of life"
Hosts: Alex & Jon
Release Date: October 21, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode finds Alex and Jon navigating the “seasons of life,” focusing on how friendships, relationships, and even pet relationships evolve as you enter new life stages—especially parenthood. Through unfiltered advice and candid listener Q&A, the couple explores boundaries, expectations, friendship drift, infidelity, and the challenges (and comic relief) of new parent life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Coping with New Parenthood (00:00 – 10:30)

• Sibling & Pet Dynamics: Both hosts joke about feeling less patient toward their dog after their baby’s arrival, comparing it to what parents of multiple kids feel toward older siblings.
  • “Does your toddler annoy the fuck out of you just how a dog does, you know, like you've already hung out with that one?” (00:00, Alex)
• Marital Bickering – Podcast Edition: Playful banter about the show’s title and each other’s fashion sense.
• Disaster Preparedness (or Lack Thereof): After a storm warning, they realize they’re woefully unprepared for emergencies.
  • Hilarious tale of Jon failing to find the flashlight, leading to a $46 “emergency” purchase, only for Alex to find the original in seconds. (05:02–05:40)
  • “I opened the closet, found it in two seconds on the floor.” (05:40, Alex)
• Realization: The hosts admit they lack basic survival skills and joke about being first to go in an apocalypse.

2. Physical Strength & Parenthood (07:15 – 09:00)

• Jon laments lacking “functional strength,” even after regular workouts, struggling with baby gear and feeling bested by Alex’s endurance.
  • “Functional. Strength. Not there. None. Zero. You’re stronger than me. You look good though.” (08:27, Jon)

3. Adjustment in Dog-Pet Relationships Post-Baby (09:00 – 10:39)

• They recount how their beloved dog Kobe now sometimes feels like an exhausting afterthought, eliciting guilt and humor.
  • “It just feels like extra work. But...he’s just such a sweet angel.” (10:09, Alex)

4. Seasons of Life & Shifting Friendships (24:50 – 26:22, 33:24–36:12)

• Alex and Jon discuss how friendships often change as people move into different life phases—marriage, parenthood, career changes, or experiencing loss.
  • “Everyone is in different seasons of life...it can impact your friendships in different ways.” (25:06, Alex)
  • “Comparison is the thief of joy.” (25:41, Jon)
• Notion that when people appear to be “crushing it” in one domain, another area is likely suffering—a reference to Shonda Rhimes.
  • “If you see me succeeding in one area of my life, you could almost be sure that I’m failing in another.” (26:29, Alex paraphrasing Shonda Rhimes)

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5. Listener Q&A: Honest, Unfiltered Advice

A. Distant Friends, Missed Announcements, and Hurt Feelings (31:25–33:24)

• Scenario: A listener is hurt they found out about their best friend’s pregnancy via social media.
  • Advice: “Don’t dig too deep unless you know she told other people before you. Sometimes big announcements just come all at once.” (32:26, Alex)

B. Draining Friendships (33:45–35:09)

• Scenario: A friend never reciprocates in conversation, making hangouts exhausting.
  • Advice: “If you don't leave an interaction thinking 'that filled my cup', why keep saying yes?” (34:18, Alex)

C. Affairs & Secret Relationships (36:27–38:48)

• Scenario: Listener’s ex-girlfriend, now pregnant by another, rekindles secret contact.
  • Advice: “Why do you even want her back in your life? Have higher standards for yourself.” (38:14, Alex)
  • “Get even, get even, and then have a higher standard. Break her heart. Break both their hearts.” (38:28–38:35, Jon & Alex banter)

D. Friends Disliking Significant Others (39:50–43:02)

• Scenario: A friend refuses to allow a boyfriend at her engagement due to rumors.
  • Advice: Explore if this is about just one incident, underlying patterns, or jealousy. Take inventory and consider both friends' perspectives.

E. Keeping Someone Else’s Friendship Alive (45:42–48:04)

• Scenario: A wife keeps her husband’s friendship alive via text, and wonders if the lack of response is suspect.
  • Advice: “It’s not your job to keep your husband’s friendships alive. Let it die.” (48:04, Alex)

F. Child-Free Weddings & Friendship Boundaries (48:04–51:57)

• Scenario: Maid of honor at friend’s wedding, but excluded her child while others’ kids can come. Hostility and guilt ensues.
  • Advice: “Step down as maid of honor if you can’t meet expectations. Set your boundaries and communicate them.” (50:18, Alex)

G. Work Drama & Sketchy Coworkers (54:43–56:03)

• Scenario: A coworker behaves inappropriately, badmouthing his fiancée and trying to set up gym meetups.
  • Advice: “Don’t get involved. Distance yourself. Let the truth come out on its own.” (56:12, Alex)

H. Mourning Lost Friend Groups (57:53–61:31)

• Scenario: Listener left a group chat after feeling excluded and was ignored at her own baby shower.
  • Advice: “If you want to repair, YOU need to take the first step. Waiting for them to come to you is a passive move.” (60:09, Alex)

I. When Friends Withdraw: Understanding & Maturity (61:31–64:14)

• Scenario: A once-close friend is now distant due to hard times.
  • Advice: “Don’t take it personally. Everyone deals with life changes differently; just let her know you’re there.” (62:54, Jon & Alex)

J. Grieving and Friendship Drift After Loss (64:38–68:00)

• Scenario: After a stillbirth, a listener’s best friend grew distant and didn’t know how to support her.
  • Insight: “People who haven’t gone through it, don’t know how to show up. Communicate what you need, and consider that your friend is following your lead.” (66:05, Alex)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Survival Skills:
  “We would be the first to go if there was a natural disaster.” (04:38, Alex)
• On Food Placebos:
  “The ordered food is going to taste so much better than the food we made.” (17:38, Jon)
• On Shifting Friend Circles:
  “Are you so willing to let go of this group if you don’t want to?...If you want to repair it, you need to be the one to reach out.” (58:56–59:45, Alex)
• On Marriage and Accountability:
  “People show you who they are early on, and I totally understand giving chances…but, are you just going to stick with it because you made a vow? If that’s what you want, don’t complain.” (54:06, Alex)

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Pop Culture & Humor

• Halloween & TV Discussion (20:02–23:47):

  • Talk about favorite spooky shows (like “Is It Cake? Halloween Edition” and “Monster”) and the nostalgia of rewatching “Jersey Shore.”
  • “That was a cultural movement. But I don't know, before the hospital, we were just like, let's just watch a few episodes.” (23:00, Alex)

• Vivid Honesty on Parenthood and Pets:

  • Secret confession:
    “My dog, whom I once loved before having kids, now feels like my worst enemy. I just want my dog to die of old age so I can focus on the kids.” (68:36, listener submission)
  • Jon and Alex react with humor and guilt, sharing a sentimental dog story and reflecting on changing family bonds.

• Closing Recommendations (70:27–72:47):

  • Alex recommends “Dancing with the Stars,” while Jon extols the virtues of frozen fire-roasted veggies from Costco—interrupted by the dog’s “noxious farts.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Topic | Time | |---------|-------|------| | A | Newborn vs. pet/older sibling irritations | 00:00–01:14 | | B | Podcast banter on the show's title | 01:15–02:40 | | C | Disaster preparedness & flashlight saga | 04:38–05:40 | | D | Realizations on strength, baby gear | 07:15–09:00 | | E | Mourning the loss of dog-pet relationship | 09:00–10:39 | | F | Shifting friendships & “seasons of life” | 24:50–26:22 | | G | Listener questions: excluded from announcements | 31:25–33:24 | | H | Draining, one-sided friendships | 33:45–35:09 | | I | Toxic exes and affairs | 36:27–38:48 | | J | Friends hating significant others | 39:50–43:02 | | K | Child-free weddings & mom guilt | 48:04–51:57 | | L | Mourning friendship group loss | 57:53–61:31 | | M | Friendship after tragedy/loss | 64:38–68:00 | | N | Pet confessions | 68:36–70:02 |

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Tone & Language

• Conversational, humorous, and occasionally irreverent.
• Willing to call out listeners and themselves on questionable behaviors with equal parts honesty and empathy.
• Unfiltered, dropping f-bombs and telling real stories from the trenches of new parenthood.

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Overall Takeaways

• Relationships and friendships morph—as life changes, expectations must evolve too.
• Honest communication and self-respect are at the core of healthy boundaries and reconciliation.
• The couple demonstrates how humor and candor can lighten the load of life’s more stressful seasons, and they encourage their audience to drop guilt and lead with vulnerability—to themselves, their friends, and their pets (even the irritating ones).

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End of summary.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a dear media production. When you have a second or third baby and you have a newborn, does your toddler annoy the fuck out of you just how a dog does, you.

[B]

Know, like, you've already. Yeah, you're, like, hung out with that one.

[A]

You're old enough to know that this isn't about you.

[B]

They're not old enough.

[A]

Like, we have a newborn that we have to.

[B]

It's about them now. Welcome back to Give it to Me Straight. Give it to you? Give it to me straight.

[A]

John, are you for real?

[B]

My bad. What did I say?

[A]

Give it to you straight? Is that what you said? It's give it to me straight? Welcome back to Give it to me Straight. Oh, my God. Guys, I'm gonna have to put him in home. Are you okay?

[B]

Welcome back to Give It To Me Straight.

[A]

You. Are you having, like, a moment? Like an ad? Like, are you having a moment? It's okay.

[B]

Giving it to you straight. We are. Why don't we just do. Give it to you straight does not sound as good. Why would I be saying give it to me straight?

[A]

So now you're questioning why am I.

[B]

The ass I sound like an. Saying, give it to me straight even though I'm giving it to you because people want you? Is it like a metaphor?

[A]

Are you. Come on now.

[B]

Whatever. I'm just saying we should change the movie.

[A]

So now you're annoyed at the fact that we chose the title of the show years ago?

[B]

Kind of, yeah. Anyway, whatever.

[A]

You know, John's deflecting because he doesn't want me to put him in a nursing home.

[B]

Not too soon. Not yet. Not yet.

[A]

How are you, John? Well, clearly unwell, but.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Know what I like about this podcast?

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

What I like about this podcast is just like me. This is. You know, I like this podcast because there's no strings. Like, it does well. It does not do well. Like, whatever. We do whatever the fuck we want, but it's just, like, it's freeing because, like, if this doesn't work out, whatever, I'll do something else. That's what I said. What I like about this podcast. Like, you know, like, your main job. You have your main job. You're like, I can't lose this job. If I lose this job, I'm fucked. The podcast. I'll just do something else. And that's why it does so well, because we're just so genuine and I. It's great.

[A]

So basically, what you're saying is, like, to all of our listeners is that you can take them or leave.

[B]

No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. I love them. It's great. I think what's great about this podcast is, like, there's no agenda, you know, we're just saying where the fuck we want to say. I don't have, like, people.

[A]

Are you just backtracking to try to save face for doing the intro wrong?

[B]

No, you're okay.

[A]

Moving on. How is your week?

[B]

What? Fine. Great. Fantastic. Everyone's alive.

[A]

Everyone is alive. And I feel like that's when everyone is alive. Except for my plants. Yeah, all my plants are dead. Every single one.

[B]

It is like, you know, getting colder out. They're not supposed to survive.

[A]

Well, some of them are. Like, the mums are supposed to survive. Killed those.

[B]

Where'd you get that shirt?

[A]

I bought it.

[B]

Levi Strauss. You don't buy me any shirts.

[A]

No, you buy me shirts.

[B]

Yeah, when Christmas.

[A]

You don't buy me shirts.

[B]

That's a cool shirt.

[A]

Also, John, if I got you a shirt, you would consider that a gift. And we all know that you hate gifts, John, so not a gift.

[B]

Would I buy you or, like, married. It's just like, a thing. Like something you need. Like, you need.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, like, let me buy my husband clothes for his wardrobe because, like, he can't do it himself. Like, when have you ever bought me a piece?

[B]

But you know why?

[A]

And you should.

[B]

Because you complain about everything I have.

[A]

You wore. You wore these really nice pants, and you were like, did you get these for me? And I was like, I did. Like, I do think of you sometimes.

[B]

I was like, oh, gym clothes.

[A]

Yeah, that's what you want. So why would I buy you a T shirt that you wouldn't like?

[B]

First off, one thing I've realized about Alex, she has no style when it comes to guys. When it comes to guys, you tell.

[A]

Me I have no sense of style back in.

[B]

Any guy listening Baggies back in.

[A]

When it comes to girls, so why would I take authority?

[B]

And because you tell you go, that looks bad. I'm like, you don't know what the you're talking about.

[A]

Exactly. So why does I. It doesn't matter.

[B]

Why would I then go uniform colors in?

[A]

Yeah, but you think that those, like, baggy leg leggings from, like, the 80s are in.

[B]

They are. They're in. Baggy pants are in whatever. The rock on red carpets, Jack. Tied up, tied up. Top shirt, baggy pants, bottom.

[A]

That again, you're answering the question as to why I'm not buying you clothes.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

There you have It. I don't know fashion. So why would I buy you an.

[B]

Outfit as long as you admit you don't have guy style?

[A]

I don't. I'm a girl.

[B]

So my week or your week? Great.

[A]

You know what happened in New York? Well, while we're recording this is. We were supposed to get, like, this really bad storm. And because of that, John and I realized that we are not prepared for anything. Like, if there was a natural disaster, we would be the first to go.

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure. But, like, you're first off. I go, where's the flashlight?

[A]

Oh, my God. Here we go. Here we go. You want to tell the story?

[B]

Yeah, I checked. I checked everywhere for this flashlight.

[A]

Everywhere? You checked everywhere?

[B]

That closet.

[A]

Did you check everywhere with your eyes closed?

[B]

No, no. At what? She's like, did you check the hallway closet? Yes. I actually went in there three different times. I moved everything around three times.

[A]

This is how you probably went in there. I looked and then you turned around.

[B]

I moved stuff around. Couldn't find it.

[A]

With your eyes closed.

[B]

By a flashlight. I got hustled and sold on a $40, $46 flashlight. That's what I got. A $46 flashlight. Which will lose that too. And then Alex found the flashlight.

[A]

I call him. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? I opened the closet, found it in two seconds on the floor.

[B]

Sorry that I was out getting supplies in the storm.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

To protect my face.

[A]

I gotta say, John, you're the. You're supposed to be the protector of this house, and you're not doing a great job. Because then I also went outside because we covered our furniture, and I see. I see a metal ashtray and a marble, like, plate that we usually have on, like, our outside furniture. But instead of it being like, underneath, wrapped under the covering, it's on top of the COVID Intentionally. Your brain was like, oh, this will hold the COVID down.

[B]

But with heavy.

[A]

With a 60 mile power gust going under a tent, that's basically like. Remember in elementary school when you would put shit on top of those little tent things and they would fly up? That's what happens. It would ricochet that 1 pound ashtray into our windows. Shatter. Dead. All because you thought, oh, this, this is going to hold down a 60 mile per hour first off gust.

[B]

We weren't getting 60 mile per hour. My weather was between 20 and 30.

[A]

Okay. Either way. My. My second.

[B]

Second off.

[A]

My app said 60 mile per hour gust of wind.

[B]

Second off. I'm. My weight measurements might be off because I felt like it Was at least five pounds or more. Third, I'm realizing that I don't have any functional strength.

[A]

That's a separate conversation from surviving a natural disaster. That's true. John's holding Lucy. He's like, oh, God, you gotta take.

[B]

You would have thought she was like 40 pounds. I'm like, I can't hold her anyway. I can't hold the car seat. No. Functional. I work out all the time. Glamour. Muscle.

[A]

I knew that's it. I knew that about you, though, when we did weddings, because I would give you the gimbal to hold and. And within five minutes, you're like, I'm shaking.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

Because. Is it because you have extra weight? Like, because I have a stick arm. Is it less weight for me to hold up?

[B]

Because I think in that movie Guardian with Ashton Kutcher where they're like swimming muscle sinks. I feel like I'm giving myself a lot of credit here. But you're. But here's the other thing. Remember, I came in technically first place, but I got cheated out of it for the steinholding competition.

[A]

Do you think that was more mental adrenaline? Yeah, Like, I think that that was more. Because I was like, I'll leave you if you lose.

[B]

I was like, I got this. And the guy cheated.

[A]

Yeah. And you already had, like a few drinks in you. You weren't feeling pain at that point. You had a few tequila shots. Maybe that's what you need to hold Lucy. Tequila shots.

[B]

Functional. Strength. Not there.

[A]

None.

[B]

Don't have that. Zero. You're stronger than me.

[A]

You look good, though.

[B]

And that's what I guess matters.

[A]

I think it's more of like a sprint. Like you're good in like a push. Quick punch. Yeah. Like you could punch someone.

[B]

Longevity.

[A]

But, like, you're not going to be able to run a long marathon.

[B]

No.

[A]

You could sprint down, but you're not going to be able to sprint down the block.

[B]

Right. You know who can't sprint down the road? Kobe.

[A]

His knee.

[B]

Guys talk about Kobe.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Wanting, just needing everything. I know we talked about this last week, but it's true. Like that video I saw. I feel so bad. It. You learn to, like, not enjoy your dog's company when you have a newborn. And I want to say I. I love him. I love him. But. But he just is, like, driving me crazy this morning. Prime example. We're up all night. I think last night was probably one of our.

[A]

But it's not that he's doing anything that he didn't do before. It's Just the simulation of everything that. It's like the cherry on top. But I truly were like, we're not gonna be that. Those people. Kobe is our child. Like, we love him so much. But I'm like, kobe, I'm so sorry. You gotta take a backseat right now. Like, it's not about you. It's not about you.

[B]

I mean, we were up till like 5:30 in the morning with her and. And then Kobe scratches at the door to go out. I'm like, fuck, fine, let him out. I'm half awake. I'm like, I might as well feed him now. We have this like joint pill that we give him. I put it on top of his food. No surprises.

[A]

And he loves it too.

[B]

He loves it.

[A]

He just eats it. Right away.

[B]

He goes in there, sticks his nose in his food, and fucking flips his food everywhere outside the bowl. I lost my shit. I was like. And then I like woke up from the snap. I'm like, did I just kill the dog? I didn't, by the way. But you know, know I'm sitting there and I'm just picking up his food off the floor now.

[A]

It just feels like extra work. But. But yeah, he's. He's just such a sweet angel. Look at him now. He's joined. He's here in the podcast.

[B]

He's got to go to rehab now, like twice a week for his knee. I got to bring him to like hydrotherapy.

[A]

That was just like horrible timing. It was like, Kobe, he's had like three surgeries this year, all because of things he's done before. We get into this episode. This episode is sponsored by Wanks. Okay, no one warns you how much you're going to learn about your body after you have a baby.

[B]

Like I thought you're telling me.

[A]

I thought I knew everything that was going down there, you know, and then suddenly I'm Googling things at 3am like, is this normal? And that's why I love Winx Health. They make all of the I don't want to deal with this moments actually easy. No shame, no spirals. Just real answers and fast solution for all the weird and not so weird things that come up down there. Whether it's a UTI yeast infection BV or an oh crap moment. When you need pregnancy contraception, winx gives you instant answers and even same day prescriptions through telehealth. You don't need to load up the diaper bag, pray that the baby naps in the car seat, or sit in a waiting room for two hours. You can literally handle it from your couch. I feel like all appointments should be telehealth. Like imagine appointments for Kobe were telehealth too.

[B]

How would I get my prostate checked?

[A]

Okay, well maybe not everything is telehealth, but that's great. It's great that this is their restart. Morning after pill is available to anyone and their at home test and treat kids tell you exactly what's going on without playing Dr. Roulette on the Internet. Plus Winx is 100% women owned OB GYN approved and now available nationwide at Walgreens. Or you could get it delivered in 30 minutes via GoPuff, DoorDash or Instacart. Take it from someone who's currently strapped for time and sleep. Take care of yourself without adding another appointment to your calendar. Head to hellowinks.com g I t m s for 50 off winks at Walgreens. That's h e l l o w dash I n x dot com g I t m s for fifty off.

[B]

And this podcast is also sponsored by HelloFresh. All right, it's officially fall in our house, which means my wife is in her element. The second the temperature drops below 70, she's lighting pumpkin candles. That's 100 accurate, wearing a sweater and declaring it soup season.

[A]

Wait, I'm actually not wearing a sweater today, which is very rare for me.

[B]

You've definitely done three of these things though the soup season. We've had soup like every night anyways. And honestly, I'm not complaining because with a newborn in the mix, we'll take any excuse for cozy comfort food. Especially when it's HelloFresh doing the hard work for us. These days, Al's hungrier than ever. Which is fair. Which is fair. She's been fueling herself on baby cuddles and caffeine, so we've been all about HelloFresh's new fall menu. They double their weekly options. A hundred to choose from with tons of high protein veggie packed meals that actually keep us full and energized through the chaos of parenthood. The best part? It's delivered right to your door. No grocery runs, no what's for dinner Panic. Just easy, delicious meals we can throw together in 30 minutes and still feel like we have our lives together. Kind of the best way to cook just got better. Go to hellofresh.com straight10fm now to get 10 free meals plus a free a free item for life. That's hellofresh.com straight10FM. 10 free meals and a free item for life. Because if there's one thing we need as new parents, it's fewer decisions and more dinner.

[A]

This episode is also sponsored by Ritual. When I was pregnant, I was constantly googling everything. Like what is safe to eat? Why am I crying at commercials? What does my baby look like at 27 weeks? You name it. But one thing I did not have to stress about was whether I was getting the nutrients that my body needed. That's because I took rituals essential prenatal. And honestly, it was one of the few constants during my pregnancy journey. I loved that I could actually trust what was in it. Clean, traceable ingredients like folate, choline and omega 3. And I'll be real. Not all prenatals are created equal. Some of them taste like regret. They do. They actually like you get you burp and you actually can taste the fishiness of it. The worst rituals is the complete opposite. They're actually very enjoyable. They have like a nice, like fresh, fresh taste to them. Easy to take, gentle on the stomach and no weird aftertaste. Which if you're pregnant, you know is a big deal. It's the number one best selling prenatal and it makes sense. It's clinically backed, designed for optimal absorption and was even shown to deliver key nutrients like folate, biotin and vitamin D. Moms taking ritual reported it easier to swallow and gentler on the stomach compared to a leaning prenatal. Plus it's HSA and FSA eligible, which makes me feel like I was saving money and doing something good for myself. And and let's be honest, that is a rare combo during pregnancy. Don't settle for less than evidence based support. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com straight start ritual and add essential prenatal to your subscription today. That's ritual.com straight for 25% off your first month. I wonder if that's what it's like with your first kid versus your second kid. Like even humans, when you have a second or third baby and you have a newborn, does your toddler annoy the fuck out of you? Just how a dog does, you know, like you've already.

[B]

Yeah, you're like hung out with that one.

[A]

You're old enough to know that this isn't about you.

[B]

They're not old enough to know, like.

[A]

We have a newborn that we have to.

[B]

It's about them now.

[A]

But I guess that's why you have like one parent, the mom usually who's probably taking care of the newborn and then the dad is like on toddler Duty.

[B]

I'm good. I'm good at one. I love her.

[A]

If a toddler is anything like a dog. Yeah.

[B]

At least a tod us what they want, right?

[A]

Kobe is just out there acting a fool, but he's still such a sweet baby angel, and I love him.

[B]

So public enemy number one for us currently is gassy cramps.

[A]

Lucy's gas.

[B]

Don't know how to shake it. The only. I'm telling you, the tit definitely cures all or at least mask some of the issues.

[A]

Yeah, but the. Those, like, little leg exercises that we saw for babies. No, it does. I literally, when I was at 3am Doing it, it. She got so many farts out.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe I'm not doing it right then.

[A]

You were sleeping, but I go, do you hear that? You're dead asleep. And I go, oh, that was a good one. You're still asleep. Yeah. She got, like, five hours, by the way.

[B]

I don't need the commentary because I could still hear you, and I'd be like, okay, lay down. Like, put you down, Lucy. I'm like, I can hear it. Like, I'm trying to sleep. I don't need to hear you.

[A]

Oh, but you conveniently don't hear me when I go, oh, that was a big diaper. Man's ready to take.

[B]

No, I take her and change her every time. Every time we're about to kill each other.

[A]

So anyway, we have zero survival skills. I can't even say it. We have zero survival skills over here. Anything. We should prepare for the next storm that comes in.

[B]

Sandbags. Put the sandbags.

[A]

Where? Where would you put a sandbag?

[B]

Around, like, a moat. Like, around our house.

[A]

The whole house?

[B]

Maybe the backside.

[A]

We live on the hill.

[B]

Well, the people behind us.

[A]

I would be more concerned about trees, honestly.

[B]

Oh, yeah. We do have that big tree that's gonna go down on our house, and.

[A]

It'S, like, right over our room. So at least if we go down, we go down together.

[B]

Yeah. One other thing. Saving grace. I talk about not gift giving, bringing food. And we talked about this is, like, the best thing ever. Saving grace. People bringing us food. But I just noticed that anytime we order food, I can make the same thing. The ordered food is going to taste so much better than the food we made.

[A]

Oh, we were saying that, like, because it's a placebo. This past weekend, we were like, let's do all the fall things. Like, let's get a pumpkin. We're gonna carve it, obviously put our baby in it. We're gonna go get a Pumpk. We're gonna go do on a walk with apple cider. I don't fucking know. So we were like, let's do all the fall things. And we come home because we were like, you know, Lucy needs to nap. She needs, like, pumpkin flights. So we had. We bought some pumpkin beer. We're like, we'll make our own pumpkin flights at home. Because last year we went to a bar. We love to get a pumpkin flight with the sugar rim. Great. We get home and we're like, oh.

[B]

That'S what we were missing. We didn't do the sugar room.

[A]

Right. We got home and we're just like. Like, this doesn't slap as hard as if we were at a restaurant. Yeah. Enjoying a pumpkin flight somewhere else. And. But that's just how it is with food, too. If you make it. No, but if someone else makes it.

[B]

It'S probably because you don't actually know. Like, you're not there for every step of making the sandwich. So you're not. You're not excited because, you know everything that's going into it where when you get the meal, you don't really know what they're doing with it, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we did go to the pumpkin patch.

[A]

It wasn't really a pumpkin patch. Pumpkin parking lot. Yeah, like, pumpkin parking lot.

[B]

But it was. It was kind of surreal because last time. Last year we went. It's like kind of after Leo and going to the same one. It was.

[A]

Oh, my God, we were so depressed. I go, can we get. I really wanted some pumpkins. This is last year. Because I just love pumpkins. I love to carve them. I love the seeds. And we go. And I think there was, like, people there with their kids. But. But you look at me and you're like, leo should be here. Like, Leo would have been here. And I'm like, cool, I'm going to kill myself. And so it was just a really depressing time and sad. And then having Lucy here. This time, it was a happy time. Are you okay?

[B]

No, I am just thinking, like, we were really pushing it that day.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it was definitely a 180 from last year. Our emotions were obviously sad to more grateful and happy. But it's. I mean, I think that's just gonna. Last year was just that even the holidays were really tough. Like, we got out of the house, we've traveled everywhere, and I feel like.

[B]

Well, you're comparing it to the very. The thing that happened. Right. Like, that was last year. Now next year we'll be thinking about our first year with Lucy. So, you know, it's all everything with time relative.

[A]

Yeah. But no, I'm excited for Halloween this year. Excited to dress up, even though I know you're not. But I'm also excited. I love spooky movies. I love spooky shows.

[B]

Are you dressing up for the podcast for Halloween week?

[A]

Oh, my God. We're gonna have to prepare to do that since we pre record. What day is Halloween this year? It is. Oh, my gosh. It's on a Friday. So wait, John, we're gonna have to record the net. I think in the next two episodes, we're gonna have to dress up.

[B]

Can't wait.

[A]

Okay. So excited. Thanks for reminding me.

[B]

I'm like, can't wait. Even though I'm the one who just brought it up.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you for right away. But I have been watching a show, a Halloween show, Just one Halloween show called Is it Cake? Halloween Edition? Oh, my gosh.

[B]

Get us on that show.

[A]

I love cake so much, but these people who I think, like, on all the seasons of. Is a cake just so talented. How. But it inspired me. I really want to make a cake, but I don't want to make an. Is it cake?

[B]

Like, you made Kobe a dog cake.

[A]

I know, but that looks like a cake. I'm saying, like, I just want cake. I don't want to make.

[B]

Make it this cake forever.

[A]

Well, yeah, and I'm just not. I mean, I'm not skilled like that.

[B]

I really don't. Thought you were gonna say you were watching Monster. Oh, well, Charlie, I think that's. I love him. He's an awesome actor. Even if I'm. I'm butchering his last name.

[A]

I feel like I can only watch that show during the daytime and when I'm not eating. Because the other night I had it on and I was eating dinner and I got nauseous. I was like, I can't watch this. Number one while you're eating. So freaked out. Number two, well, he's wearing her face.

[B]

And we're trying to eat.

[A]

Basically disgusted.

[B]

You know, I heard that he didn't take any profits. Oh, so you heard that too? Is that real? Is it true?

[A]

Good for him. I would think so. I mean, I think that was kind of the conversation around Dahmer as well, because it's like, why are we glorifying these serial killers who, you know, there's so many victims and their families who were impacted, and it's like, why are we putting them on a pedestal? And, like, then you're Making a profit off of them. And so I think that that's the right thing to do. To each their own. I mean, I don't know. I'm not an actor, but like, yeah, if you're going to portray someone who was just who destroyed so many families, give that profit to the victims and their families. So I think that that's a great.

[B]

Didn't have to pick that part, you know.

[A]

Yeah, but he played it well. I also heard he went to therapy like before grave.

[B]

He like hung out the dude's grave. I got some salt burn vibes from that.

[A]

Yeah. Spooky. Still very spooky season. There's a murder on the dance floor. Man. Did that movie come out already? Two years ago. Wow. That was a good movie too. Maybe I'll watch that.

[B]

Watch it.

[A]

Okay. Any other updates, John?

[B]

Something that we did watch, very random that we never talked about. Right before I went to the hospital to deliver Jersey Shore. Jersey Shore.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why we just so happened to just start watching Jersey Shore. We're like, wow, this is. Brought me back in time.

[A]

Brought me back. But I think we just wanted something like mindless. And honestly, I haven't watched the season like from the beginning of Jersey Shore since it first came out when I was in high school or college. And it was like an event crazy on cable. Like you had to get together on Thursday nights. And then when I was in college, we would rent out like one of the community rooms to watch it on tv. We would order pizza. And it was just. It was a cultural movement. But I don't know, it was like before we were going into the hospital, we were like, let's just watch a few episodes. And it just like brought us back.

[B]

And I'm like, you could never get away with half of this stuff. No, no.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. But that's, I think, why the show was so successful because it was so perfect for.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The culture during that time could not get made now.

[B]

No, no, it was. That was wild.

[A]

But we should. We didn't finish it. I feel like we should continue watching it. I don't know now. So speaking of. I was going to say I don't know now because it's like, does Lucy need to hear. Hear that? Do we need to clean up our language maybe? Do you.

[B]

We were talking about it. I don't know. I mean, they can pick up on it. Or we're just so over the top with cussing that she doesn't want to cuss at all. Like, she's embarrassed by us.

[A]

I Don't know that that.

[B]

Food for thought. Food for thought.

[A]

You think that that's a. An approach that's interesting? I don't think so. I don't think that that's how that works. I like how we talk about Jersey Shore and immediately I have to bring up Lucy. Like, should we clean up our conversation about Lucy, not about Lucy. Around.

[B]

Clean it up. Clean it up.

[A]

People probably are like, enough. I know some comment which was like, all right, let me know if this is all you're going to talk about so I can unsubscribe.

[B]

Honestly, I just unsubscribe. That's the only that's going on in our life right now. We haven't left our house.

[A]

Seasons of life. This is it. We're just.

[B]

We're in it.

[A]

We're new parents.

[B]

I don't have anything, anything exciting to let anyone know.

[A]

That's actually a decent segue into today's topic because everyone is in different seasons of life depending on what season of life you're in.

[B]

Right? Okay. Like, sometimes I'm smelling what you're selling.

[A]

You are going through a divorce while your friend is engaged and planning their wedding, or you are having a kid when your two friends, your best friends just lost their son and it's really depressing for them. And so everyone. Different seasons can impact your friendships in different ways. And so that's what we're talking about, just friendships who are in different seasons of life and how they work out. And I feel like it's pretty appropriate because, like, we currently are in similar seasons as other friends and different as. Than some.

[B]

I didn't know that this was our topic today because I feel like my quote that I've been saying recently, comparison is the thief of joy.

[A]

And then who are you compare. Who. What are you comparing yourself to? Or. Or are you saying that to other people?

[B]

Other people? Well, no, like telling my friend who is pregnant and she's talking about her other friend who's looking at preschools already when she's not even as far along as her. I'm like, don't worry about what other people are doing. You know, you're.

[A]

Yes. Not. It's not even necessarily stay in your lane, but it's kind of just like, focus on what you have going on. And everybody hits different milestones at different points in their life and that's fine. I mean, like, there's no.

[B]

So comparisons of thief of joy. We are today's topic talking about people in different stages of their life.

[A]

Go, oh, actually, and to Segue off of that again. I just listened to Shonda Rhimes on a podcast, and she was talking about how, you know, people are always like, you're crushing it. And, you know, you're a mom. You're doing all this. And she said something profound, and I was like, oh, it's very interesting. And I'm going to take that note. She said, if you see me succeeding in one area of my life. And again, this is not full of quotes today. Yeah, yeah. This is not verbatim. If you see me succeeding in one area of life, you could almost be sure that I'm failing in another. And it's like, yeah, it might look like someone else is crushing it in whatever they're doing, but, like, people are human, you know?

[B]

Like, anyway, yeah, so we're human.

[A]

You just can't do it all at 100% all the time. It's give and take. Just like this podcast.

[B]

Like, well, I'm getting our.

[A]

We're doing our best.

[B]

We're doing our best. We're doing our best.

[A]

We're doing our best. We're busy trying to succeed at being parents.

[B]

She's crying. And we're doing our best with that, too.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Let's dive in. Question number one.

[A]

What are we doing? Why are we wasting?

[B]

I'm not gonna jibber jabber. Nothing exciting really going on lately. We're just in the trenches. We'll get back to you.

[A]

We are moving on.

[B]

This episode is also sponsored by Green Mitt. All right, I'm just gonna say it. Our house has never been messier.

[A]

True.

[B]

That is true. Between the baby spit ups, the coffee spills, and the dog somehow timing every muddy paw print right after I clean. Oh, my God, this is so accurate.

[A]

It's gooey.

[B]

Seriously, we are officially living in a. Please don't look too closely at our couch. And here's the thing. I used to be the person who would wipe the dog's paws every single time he came inside. That person no longer exists. We're doing our best just to keep the baby alive in the living room from becoming a Jackson Pollock painting. That's why Clean Safe Products has been a lifesaver. The Green Mitt kit is the easiest way to keep your fabrics looking brand new in, like, five minutes or less. You just spray, wipe, rinse the mitt, and repeat. If you could clean a kitchen counter, you can clean your couch.

[A]

I don't know why I'm singing a wrap now.

[B]

It works on everything. Carpets, car seats, wool rugs, even the fancy Dry clean only. Stuff I was too scared to touch before.

[A]

No, that's great.

[B]

And it's totally safe for babies, pets, and whatever other chaos is currently living in your house. The best part, no harsh chemicals, no sticky residue, and no surprise, that stain is back. Just clean soft surfaces without the stress. So if your house looks anything like ours right now, which is to say lived in with love and a hint of chaos.

[A]

Love. That's a nice way to.

[B]

Yeah. Go to Clean SafeProducts.com straight for $15 off the green mitt kit. That's Clean SafeProducts.com straight because you deserve nice things. Even if your dog or your newborn disagree.

[A]

This episode is also sponsored by NO cd. You know how people say becoming a parent changes everything?

[B]

Everything?

[A]

Yeah. Including your brain. After growing a family, I swear my intrusive thoughts actually got way louder and I'm like, brain, can we not? Like, why am I thinking of all these.

[B]

All of these things, like, against me?

[A]

No, no, just like. Like scenarios that just are up, made up in my head. We all have random thoughts that pop up sometimes and they start looping non stop. That's where OCD can come in. And it's not like the I like my spice rack alphabetized kind of ocd. Real OCD is a serious, highly misunderstood condition where unwanted, distressing thoughts get stuck on repeat and you feel like you have to do something mentally or physically to make them stop. Those thoughts are called intrusive thoughts, and they can be really disturbing or taboo, especially when they focus on things or people you care about most. And trying to fight them just makes them stronger. That's where NOCD comes in. They're the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, and all their licensed therapists specialize in exposure and response prevention therapy, or erp, which is proven to help people take the power away from intrusive thoughts so they cause less distress and they don't control your Life. Therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and includes support between sessions, so you're never dealing with this alone. So if your brain has been a little bit louder lately and you're ready for it to get quiet, go to nocd.com that is n o c d.com and book a free call to get started. First question my best friend and I live in different states, but we keep in touch and make sure to talk on the phone at least every other month or so. Recently, I found out that she's pregnant, but I found out through social media, which definitely stung. I texted her as soon as I saw the post, congratulating her and telling her how excited I am for them. And also that I can't believe she didn't tell me. She said she tried to call me the other day, but that I didn't answer. I checked all my call logs and I didn't have any recent calls from her. I'm hurt that she didn't make more of an effort to tell me herself. Am I being overly sensitive? Would you guys feel hurt in this situation?

[B]

I don't care about anything right now, so, whatever. But, yeah, sure, I could see you being upset. If it's your best friend, like, why.

[A]

Wouldn'T you tell me unless she had some sort of reason for not telling anyone? Because I feel like when we got pregnant, like, the second time, like an.

[B]

Oopsie baby or something.

[A]

No, no, no. Like, of, like, if she had experienced loss or it was, like, painful for her to, like, talk about. And, you know, and if you, like, haven't seen her in person because, like, when we got pregnant with Lucy, unless you were a friend that I saw in person, I wasn't telling you. Like, I just was not putting it out there. I wasn't going out of my way to announce that we were pregnant. So there were some friends that I didn't see in person until I was 25 weeks pregnant. And I'm like, oh, by the way.

[B]

So if it's that route. No, don't be upset with her. Yeah, but if it's the other route, if you guys are. And she's. You're her best friend too. Well, like, are you both on the same page of you guys are best friends, or is her relationship with you a little different than you think it actually is?

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. It's just like, did. Do you know she told other people? Like, some people just don't feel to share the news.

[B]

True. Again, it's not about you. It's there some going on.

[A]

Maybe they were just keeping it a secret for everyone. And then it was just easier to make, like, one mass announcement. Like, maybe it wasn't as personal. Of. I'm not telling you this because same thing, too. Like, when we had Lucy and we actually delivered her, I wasn't texting all these people. Here's a picture of her. Here she is. Here she is. We just posted on social media, so I'm sure that there was people in my life who were like, why didn't you tell me she was here?

[B]

Because Janet Yeah.

[A]

So I don't know. I think depending on your relationship, but I don't think that you have to dig too deep into this. But if you want to ask her and say, hey, why didn't you tell me? Because if someone asked me that, I would give an honest answer and just be like, I didn't tell anyone. It was just a general announcement for all people to find out.

[B]

At the same time, it's obviously bothering you, so just say something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't have to be a dick about it. Just like, hey, you know, just. Is there a reason why you didn't want to tell me? I totally understand if it's. Well, and I guess you have a reason, but I just.

[A]

She tried to call you, but, you.

[B]

Know, so she just kind of brushed it off, right? Yeah. Find out she told other people. Next question.

[A]

I have a friend who I'm fairly close with. Every time I see her, she cannot stop talking about herself and how great her life is. I'm genuinely so happy for her, but I'm so bored of repeatedly hearing the same things. Anytime I say anything about myself, you, she somehow redirects the combo back to her. It's been months since I've even asked her to hang out. And it's her that repeatedly asked. Even though I'm flaky with her, I say yes occasionally and always end up regretting it. What should I do? If you like, don't like hanging out with someone, if you regret hanging out with them, if you don't leave an interaction and you're like, wow, that feels good.

[B]

That filled my cup.

[A]

If it's straining you, why are you even saying yes to hanging out with this person anymore if it's just a friend?

[B]

You already have probably enough people in your life that you. It's mandatory you hang out with them like family. Then your friends should be your outlet to fill your cup.

[A]

Yeah. Because conversation with this person aside about like her always talking about herself, it just sounds like you don't enjoy her company at all. And you say you're fairly close with like why are you even entertaining this friend?

[B]

Sounds like that girl's not doing active listening either. Or what's the other. What's the term?

[A]

Like asking like just reciprocating questions, you know, active listening.

[B]

Not because she's just bringing it back to herself.

[A]

Like the self awareness. Yeah. Just like making sure that you're include like asking about the other person as well. Yeah. I don't know. You just say no to hanging out to her with her the next Time again, this kind of goes into like the.

[B]

She says she keeps asking her to hang out too. Yeah, I wonder.

[A]

It's her that repeatedly asks, yeah, I wonder why?

[B]

Because just everyone else is caught on and is not hanging out with her. So you're the only one that's even allowing this to happen still.

[A]

But how do you. If someone keeps asking you to hang out and like, you don't want to hurt their feelings and just be like, don't answer. I don't want to be. Just don't answer.

[B]

No, I know that the point eventually.

[A]

Probably had like different answers. And so it's hypocritical to say one thing like I don't want to be like don't answer. But then you go back a few episodes and I was probably like, just make excuses like what do you. Because you're not going to tell this person, hey, I'm not interested in being a friend anymore.

[B]

I do that with neighbors. I'm gonna not hang out with anyone and just say I'm doing something.

[A]

So you just think, just keep making excuses and then hopefully she gets a hint eventually.

[B]

Yeah, make an excuse in almost like a passive aggressive way. So they get the point that you don't want to hang out. Yeah, I'm busy. Doing what? I'm just busy.

[A]

Brushing my hair, tending to my dog. Next question.

[B]

They shouldn't want to hang out with you anyways. If you're disinterested in their life, why, why do they even want to hang out with you then?

[A]

You know, because she listens, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Because that person only cares about themselves. Okay.

[A]

My two year girlfriend cheated on me with a guy. I'm a woman. Then broke up with me two weeks later because he was quote, the love of her life. She blocked me and then disappeared. She got pregnant a month after being with him and now she's six months pregnant and reaching out to me as a friend. We're seeing each other in secret because she's still with him. I don't think this is the man of her life and I care so much about her, but what does she want from me now? How much of an asshole am I? So do you think you're an asshole just because you're hooking up with your ex who's pregnant and she's with someone else?

[B]

She cheated on you with this guy?

[A]

No.

[B]

She'll go with you and then got with this guy.

[A]

Her two year girlfriend cheated on her with a guy?

[B]

Yeah. And so with that guy. She's pregnant, right? Yeah, It's Fair game. Cheat away. I mean, that guy. Her too? Mostly her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, like, that guy, like, I don't care about him either. He obviously has no morals either. So this is about his feelings.

[A]

Such an interesting love triangle. I just. I don't.

[B]

Is this gonna come out good?

[A]

No, no, no, no, it's not. And so when you're asking how much of an am I? It's kind of like you're just matching the energy here already. Like, they cheat. Like. Like there was an affair already or not an affair. Do you call an affair unless you're married? Like, if you're dating someone, marriage. Okay, so there was infidelity when you were with her, and now it does that.

[B]

Is that infidelity or is it just.

[A]

Cheating that also in marriage as well?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I think infidelity is for dating as well. Anyway, there was cheating, and she probably.

[B]

Wants to do a throuple. She's like, you know what?

[A]

Oh, the girl who's pregnant?

[B]

Let me bring them all together.

[A]

I mean, what does she want from you now? Ask her. It's also a standard that you set for yourself. Like, why do you even want her back in your life? You know, like, have a higher standard for your own self and just be like, bitch, no, you're pregnant with that guy, with that other man's baby.

[B]

Get. Get even, get even. And then have a higher standard.

[A]

Break her heart. That's what you should do.

[B]

Break both their hearts.

[A]

Well, how is she going to break the dude's heart?

[B]

Because you're going to hook up with your ex again, and then you're going to let him know that you hooked up with her.

[A]

Oh, right. Yeah.

[B]

Burn the. Burn the ship.

[A]

Yeah. Honestly, this is. We're just going to be toxic today.

[B]

You want to deal with that? And she's got a kid with this guy.

[A]

Be an asshole. Yeah, fuck them both. Next question. One of my closest friends has developed a strong dislike for my boyfriend based on something she heard secondhand. She was told that he used a slur. I do not believe this to be true, and I have defended his character. However, ever since, she has refused to give him the benefit of the doubt. She has even told others who do not know him that she hates him. And. And she has never given him the opportunity to show who he truly is. Recently, she became engaged. When I asked if I might bring my boyfriend to her engagement party, she ignored my message for several days before finally replying that she only wanted just their friends in attendance. I respect that this is her celebration. But I can't help feeling hurt by the exclusion and the ongoing tension. How should I navigate this situation while balancing both my relationship and my friendship?

[B]

Innocent until proven guilty.

[A]

Who?

[B]

The guy? Where's the. Where's the proof of any of this?

[A]

See, and I'm thinking, I'm like, there's no way that your friend, your boyfriend, must be a dick in other ways for her to have necessarily.

[B]

You think she could be petty to where she's just like, oh, you're happy.

[A]

But then there's a.

[B]

Then you took my friend away, but.

[A]

Then that's just a shitty friend. Like, if that friend. Friend.

[B]

That chick might be shitty, right?

[A]

Or you have a shitty boyfriend. Do other people not like your boyfriend?

[B]

That's true, too.

[A]

Take inventory.

[B]

Everything is true. Everything is true. Everything we just said is.

[A]

Everything is a lie and everything is.

[B]

No, I mean, sorry, not everything's true. Everything are valid avenues of where this could go. Your friend might be crazy or your.

[A]

Boyfriend might be a dick. I just think it'd be like, there's. What grounds you might be naive? Everybody's dumb, okay? I say, if you're hurt, don't go to the engagement party.

[B]

Like, she could also be la la. Like, my boyfriend is like, the best in the world. Everyone's like, your boyfriend's a piece of racist.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. But she thinks, like, oh, it's only because she thinks that he said a slur, but he didn't actually say it true.

[B]

Is she like, is this chick. Either she's actually crazy, making shit up because she's jealous, whatever, or there she's fully committed.

[A]

Like, he did say, because I'm bringing in my own bias here. I know people who think that I probably don't like their current relationship based off of, like, one thing. And it's like, no, there's literally a laundry list. Like, I don't like this as a person because I know I don't like this person as a person because I know who they are as a person. They've showed me who they are. And it's not because of one situation. It's from several combined. And, like, that's where I judge.

[B]

Also, people should know you're the type of personality you have in person. You are. Like, you're not going to just cut someone well, and you give multiple strikes, right?

[A]

And that's where I'm asking, like, you're one of your closest friends. If she has a strong dislike for your boyfriend, perhaps try to see her perspective. Is it just because she thinks that he said a slur or. Or are there other things? Like, a slur, of course, is not okay to say, but why does she think that? Where did that come from? There's just, like, too much to unpack here that I just feel like you're holding on to that and I'm like, there's more to the story. Yeah, there's more to the story here. Or we just take this question as, he's perfect.

[B]

I don't know why.

[A]

Yeah. Like, do your other friends have anything to say about your boyfriend? I don't know. I want to give you the benefit.

[B]

It doesn't seem like you're doing. Basically, you're not doing a whole lot of digging. Like, maybe she's just not digging because she's worried she will find out something. She's like, this is only solely from this person. Haven't asked around, haven't done my investigation.

[A]

Right. Yeah. So I just think may maybe see where your friend is coming from or, you know, but again, if we're reading this at face value, plot twist.

[B]

She's probably like, oh, they're going to help me out. We're like, no.

[A]

Or. But again, if we're reading this question at face value and like, we don't. We don't ask questions, even though questions are important to be asked, then, yeah, your friend is not a great friend. And so don't go to her engagement party if she doesn't want to invite your boyfriend.

[B]

How cool would it be if we got both sides? Both sides. Like, both people talk to each other. Like, let's both reach out to give straight. With both our. Hold on.

[A]

Give it to me straight. Live.

[B]

We did.

[A]

No, no. But with people who ask the questions, like me, counseling. Basically, we do live advice and counseling. Obviously, we're not counselors.

[B]

Or, you know, I rather get the in writing form so I can ask you to repeat it.

[A]

Oh, like, you wouldn't be able to.

[B]

I want two people to get together and be like, I hate you for this. Well, I hate you for this. They both send us each other's side of the story, then we have all the facts.

[A]

But then you'd have to know that, like, if I was writing into a.

[B]

Podcast, then we read into it.

[A]

I know, but if I was writing into a podcast, asking for advice anonymously about my friend, like, I don't necessarily want my friend to know that I'm annoyed with them.

[B]

Well, of course. But maybe somebody's just open.

[A]

Anonymous.

[B]

Hey, Sally, I'm going to write in to give it to me short.

[A]

Hey, Sally, we have some.

[B]

I'm going to give you an opportunity, Sally.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To say your side so honestly.

[A]

Like, our show idea just got squashed because no one would join it. Everyone. No, I don't think anyone.

[B]

I think I would.

[A]

Unless it's that's. It's Jerry Springer. That it's already a show.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

It'S Maury.

[B]

Oh, my God. Did we think we were just coming up with something new?

[A]

We're like, listen to this genius idea. Two people, they have beef. We're the mediators. It literally exists.

[B]

Dr. Phil. Literally every single daytime TV like, on the show. We're so stupid. Oh, my God.

[A]

It's because we're talking.

[B]

I really was like, that's a great idea.

[A]

Or like, what type of people would join this show? Crazy people.

[B]

People who don't care.

[A]

All right, next question. My husband and I have been married 10 years, going strong. Love him. He's the best. I need another perspective on his best friend from high school. I've known both of them since 2011, but once my husband and I got married, his best friend does a talk to him as much anymore, whereas before they talked all the time. I try to keep their friendship alive here and there because they were so close and guys don't need to talk as often. When my husband texts him, he doesn't always respond. Whenever I text him, he always responds. My husband is always in the loop, so there's no shady behavior from me. I can't help but wonder if his friend had a candle for me or something. And that's why once we got married.

[B]

Does that mean candle?

[A]

Like a crush? I guess he backed off in friendship from my husband. Is that sus behavior from the friend? Should we distance ourselves from him? Should he respond to his buddy more than his buddy's wife?

[B]

Maybe he's doing. I respect because he doesn't be, like, rude to you, but, like, I wouldn't back off. I don't care. I think it's common. I got a friend who liked you, right?

[A]

But that was like 100 years ago. And in no world could I imagine having conversations with one of your friend. Like, what?

[B]

I don't care.

[A]

But also that was confirmed because I knew that, like, I knew that before you were even in the picture. This girl doesn't know. It's not confirmed that this guy had a crush. You know what I mean? I think it's like, bold to assume that because he's not answering his. Your husband, that it's because he liked you and had A crush on you back in the day. Unless, like, you have.

[B]

Even if he did or does or whatever, if you and your husband are on the same page, you're communicating. Like, I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's not like you're acting on anything.

[A]

So crush aside, it's not your job to keep your husband's friendships alive. Like, men.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Are responsible for their own relationships and their own friendships. If his friend isn't responding.

[B]

Oh, do you feel like she's kind of, like, making this about her?

[A]

I just feel like you're like, oh, he's not responding to my husband. He only responds when I'm in the group chat.

[B]

Why are you texting him?

[A]

Well, she's just saying to try. She's saying to try to keep their friendship alive. That's not on you.

[B]

That's weird.

[A]

I just.

[B]

Are you friends with him?

[A]

This is a very interesting.

[B]

Hold on. How do they. This guy was friends with her husband before she was even in the picture.

[A]

I need another perspective on his best friend from high school. I've known them both since 2011, but once my husband and I got married, his best friend doesn't talk to him as much. So the best friend they knew, they.

[B]

Knew each other beforehand.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not her.

[A]

Correct. And then she met both of them around the same time, I think.

[B]

Yeah. It's not like this was a friendship made when you all were together, like their previous friends. Why do you like.

[A]

Yeah, again, I think you don't need.

[B]

That's almost like attention seeking.

[A]

Right. I don't think you need to be involved at all.

[B]

I'll tell you what. We're two for two questions today where the listener might. I mean, the listener, the writer might be the problem.

[A]

It just sounds like. Like, why are you involved here?

[B]

Like, you can't talk to anybody else Or.

[A]

Or why do you think that he only respond? I. I don't know. It's just. It's giving. Pick me a little bit. And I could be wrong. I could be reading wrong. But let your hus. If Again, if he wants to be friends with your husband.

[B]

Die.

[A]

Yeah, let it die. Next question. I'm having a hard time with this friendship, and I'm not sure where to go. My friend and I have been best friends since we were 16. We're now 30. We've had ups and downs and have stopped talking twice for months because of choices and things she has taken. Said to me. For instance, she got in my face and chanted, I'm going to get married before you. While I had been with my now husband for eight years and she had only been with her now fiance for a year, I let it go and carried on. Now I'm married and did a courthouse wedding because my husband and I never saw the point of a big wedding. She's divorced especially since my dad passed away five years ago. Anyway, my friend is now planning her wedding and I'm the maid of honor. She has made her wedding child free. I now have a three month old son but he will be a year when it's her wedding day and my friend has made it clear that my son is not invited to the wedding and that it will be completely child free except for her other friend's 2 kids who are about 9 and 2. While I know it's her wedding and it's her choice, I can't help but be upset as she has been my best friend for 15 years and doesn't want my son there. I told her that I won't be able to contribute as much or be as involved in the wedding since I'm on maternity leave and have zero income at this time time. She says she understands but still throws in a little comment here and there about it. She also wants her wedding party to spend the night at her venue which I expressed that I cannot do since the venue is two hours away and my son will be with my mother in law. She got very mad and texted me that I wasn't being fair. At this point I feel like I can't express anything to her because she keeps freaking out at me and honestly it's making me want to not go. I'm definitely not excited for her wedding because I'm having so much anxiety about leaving my son alone alone while I'm two hours away. I'm not sure what I should do or how I should go forward with this. Any insight would be great.

[B]

It's not your wedding, but you could have made boundaries off the rip. I would just be like hey, I have a kid. I can't do any of this. I'll come to the wedding, I'll be there the day of the wedding. Everything else like, and if that's. If you're not okay with that, then like I get it too. But I feel like there's. The communication is off because there's you're giving some here you're not doing here. And it's the same on her side. I think you just make it very clear, very clear you don't want kids at the wedding. I get that. I can't do the rest of the stuff, though. I will show up for your wedding day.

[A]

Yeah, like, step down as the maid of honor then. Or were you the maid of honor?

[B]

Even if you're in the party, whatever the you are, just like, I just can't.

[A]

She did say she's a maid of honor. Yeah, but I think again, the minute.

[B]

I have a friend that starts chirping at me about, like, whining about something.

[A]

I'd be like, hey, then don't do it.

[B]

I won't do anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not gonna come at all.

[A]

No, Exactly.

[B]

Be okay with what I can provide and do if not, like, I don't want to fucking hear it.

[A]

But that's compromise on both, you know? Or that's just like doing what you both want to do. Like, again, you understand that she doesn't want kids in her wedding, regardless of whose kid she decides to have there. Like, but you also have a son, and so you have every right to do what you want to do. And then. Ta da.

[B]

Do you even want me to come if I'm going to be miserable? You know, it's like you're putting all these restrictions on me and all this stuff. Like, do you. I will just be the most crotchety person.

[A]

I don't know. I just, I like. But I see the bride side here as well, where it's just like, okay, if, like, you can't make that work, like, then the bride has to be okay with you not being able to make that work. You know, whatever you express how you feel, who cares?

[B]

Who cares? I. There's just too much around weddings. You have 300 other people, 200. Whoever's coming. Like, your friend is still gonna come in some way, shape or form. They're coming just, like, understand where each other are coming from. If you don't start off with, like, specifically, this is what I can and can't do, and then understand where the other person's coming from. There's going to be so much gray area. Gray area always causes issues because it's going to be each other's different interpretations of that gray area. So it has to be clear. That's it.

[A]

That's it. Done and done. You have a kid, do what you want. Make it, don't make it. Don't go. Everybody, nobody go to any weddings this year. How about that? And then brides do the wedding that you want and then cut out your other friends. That's it. Next question.

[B]

Wait, before going into that question now, we're just kind of like, on this hate train a little bit. Someone made a comment on our last podcast episode and they're like, well, it's not that easy to. To, like, divorce someone or leave that person when you're in the. Because remember when we were talking about the girl, the woman who was like, I'm doing everything. I'm paying the bills, I'm the breadwinner, I'm taking. And someone in the com, like, someone's always saying something like, well, it's not that easy. We never said it was easy to leave somebody. I understand that you have a connection and, you know, you want to make something work, but it's like, you're also the fucking. You're the problem. Then, like, you're.

[A]

Well, I think that's also similar to, like, the. There was like, again, another video about, like, a very toxic relationship where again, the woman was blaming the other woman when her man cheated on her when she was pregnant. And people are like, you not. You're not giving enough grace to this lady. And it's like, like the writing is on the wall. You don't have to settle in these shit relationships. Like, it is your life. You have one life to live, accountability.

[B]

For your own actions and what you want to do. You're also the people that are writing in.

[A]

Wait, this also has nothing to do with this.

[B]

It doesn't. But I'm just thinking about, like, well, someone always has something to say. And like, that person who makes a comment like, well, you don't know. I'm like, I can already tell you're having your own fucking issue.

[A]

Well, and you're battling like, you're tattling on yourself. Like, you're battling yourself right now.

[B]

It's not that easy. No one fucking said it was that easy.

[A]

The thing is, nothing that is worth it is easy. Like, and I'm not saying, oh, that means work through abusive relationships because, like, at the end of the day, it.

[B]

Will be saying, it's not that it's not easy to. To just move on. No one's saying that it's easy. Do you want a better life or do you want to be miserable? I don't know. You decide you want to be in a relationship for 10 years and just being abused verbally or, like, taken advantage of, you know?

[A]

Well, and I think too, the, like, the people show you who they are very early on, and I told you totally understand giving chances and trying to work through things. But once you have exhausted those options, are you just going to stick with it because you made a Vow in front of the eyes of God, if that's what you want, then don't complain.

[B]

I don't even. It's not even even. Yeah, the religious part, sure. Then other relationships, it's not just like, have self respect for yourself.

[A]

Well, people would just rather stay in a loveless relationship and make exceptions, excuses and live their life miserable. So shall I move on?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Next question. I recently moved to Florida and started a new job. I made friends with a co worker and soon after his fiance. Since getting to know them further, my co worker, who's male, has oddly texted me a few things on the side. Things like planning which day to go to the gym to go as the same day as me and making weird comments about his fiance, like, I don't know why I'm with her or she doesn't work out and the other day she ate a double cheeseburger. His fiance invited me to her bachelorette party and bridal shower. And yesterday at the gym, he got mad at me for asking him about an exercise form because he wanted a girl there to come up and flirt with him. I'm conflicted. Do I tell his fiance these things or let it be since I've only known her for a few months?

[B]

How does she know the guy?

[A]

Work. So this girl, single, work guy, who's engaged, complains about his fiance, is flirty with other people, and she's wondering, do I tell.

[B]

Is she like friends with this guy or he just. She just works with him. Just distance yourself.

[A]

Sounds like they're kind of friends. Yeah, it just. I don't know. I don't know that I would get involved.

[B]

Do you want to be the one to implode everything? I'm like, you're not close really to either one of them. Just keep it work. And then when this guy's asking you to do stuff, was he asking her to hang out or just like texting her stuff?

[A]

I guess he's just like asking her.

[B]

He's obviously flirting with you and he's just. Just distance yourself.

[A]

Yeah, especially because this is a work relationship. I would not get involved. This already sounds messy. The truth will eventually come out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And his fiance will see him for he who he truly is. You know what I'm referencing, but I didn't say it in line how it was supposed to be. And now I see you for who you truly are.

[B]

Tropic Thunder.

[A]

No, she's the man. I think that's the line with Amanda Bynes. You never seen that movie?

[B]

No.

[A]

You never Seen that with Channing Tatum and Amanda Bynes, soccer player.

[B]

Yeah, I actually have seen that movie.

[A]

Yeah. Where he likes. She sticks his tampon up her nose and she's like, it's for nosebleeds, but it's because she's pretending to be.

[B]

I don't think I watched the whole movie all the way through, but I.

[A]

Know what we're doing later. It's so good. It's such a good movie.

[B]

Shoving a tampon in my nose.

[A]

Oh, no. I was gonna say watch the movie, but yeah, whatever you wanna do. Next question. After my wedding, my friends from different stages of life really hit it off and made a group that's been talking daily for three years now. Everyone is now friends in their own right, which has been fun to watch. Recently, I have felt the dynamic of the group shift. I've felt excluded. Sometimes it seems like people are talking about stories I should know about, but maybe that's happening. In another group chat, an incident happened where I finally felt the need to call them out for exploration. Excluding me, I felt invalidated and left the group. No one has reached out for over a month. I'm also pregnant with my first child. They had all RSVP to my baby shower beforehand, but they all no showed and didn't even call. I'm upset that I'm so easily forgotten and that even in the hardest time, they wouldn't show up for me. When I've been in all of their weddings and flown in for all of their baby showers. After my baby shower, I don't think this could be repaired. I waited for my grandma to leave the event before. Before finally crying. How do I mourn losing basically all of my best friends?

[B]

We're missing a piece to this.

[A]

I know. I'm like.

[B]

I feel like I feel bad because I'm like, oh, that sounds terrible.

[A]

No, but when you have.

[B]

No one deserves to not have anyone come. But I'm like, who's the common denominator? Like, what is the overall percentage when that it's the person's fault when everyone is against that one person.

[A]

Especially in. At this age. Like in school, when you're a kid, I could see, like groups are bullies. You know what I mean? Like there's a group. Groups of mean girls who turn on one friend or groups of guys. But like, I mean, I guess maybe that can happen still. Like there's groups of mean girls still petty cattiness. But I just feel like generally at like when you're.

[B]

What about that show you're watching? The softcore porn housewives of.

[A]

Oh, the Hunting Wives.

[B]

Yeah. Like, weren't they singling each other out in that show in the beginning?

[A]

I mean, that's a written, dramatic show. I don't even know that show was.

[B]

People right off of personal experience.

[A]

Well, so that's what I'm saying. So maybe, like, there are. There are. Okay, maybe there are situations in which this happened, but I feel like you don't have to mourn it if you try to repair it. Like, why are you. Are you so willing to let go of this group if you don't want to? Why would you not try to communicate with them and see what the issue is? I know that you said an incident happened where you felt excluded and then invalidated.

[B]

What was the incident?

[A]

You left the group. Like, if you left the group and no one has reached out for over a month, like, you leaving the group kind of sets that tone, you know? Like, I think that you're the one who has to be the one who reaches out and. And says, hey, I. Can we repair this? Because you're the one who kind of made it seem like, then I'm done.

[B]

I think that's kind of. It's easier to cut. Right. And I. I'm definitely preaching to. That's me. I would do that, too. Which is not the best route. It's like cutting yourself off. Like, you have more options than just, like, I'm done. Because you're. You're putting all your cards in the basket of, like, I'm going to cut myself out, banking on somebody reaching out to me, you know?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And, like, that's not the best route to go.

[A]

If you want something to happen, take action. And again, this is what we say in, like, all relationships. That way you can look back and say, like, I did what I could. I did everything that I could. But, like, to wait for them to come to you. I think it's just very passive. Why would you not, you know, you. I don't think that you have kind.

[B]

Of dug her grave. Right. She was. She pulled herself out of the.

[A]

I don't think that there's ever. It's ever. The nail is never fully in the coffin, you know, or in this situation. Doesn't sound like it has to be, you know, like, you always can reach back out and try to mend these relationships.

[B]

I think it was, I guess, drastic, the move that you took, so it's harder to come out of. You can, but it's.

[A]

I just think, like, in friendships, the way that they last and can Move forward is when you take accountability for your actions. So. So whether that was one of your friends in this group or whether that was something that you did, you know, in the moment, like, everyone has to just take accountability, and it's about a matter of self awareness and vulnerability. But, like, that's how friendships grow and move forward. And if this group, you feel like those aren't people who can take accountability for their actions and grow with you and be there for you, then maybe this isn't the group for you. But if you took the action and pulled yourself away, I don't think that you can really accept. Expect that they're gonna come running to you to be like, wait, wait, wait. You know, like, if you're the one who left and walked away.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're the one who left. Now you're the one who has to.

[A]

If you want to mend those relationships. Yeah. But congratulations on your baby, and best of luck with your friendships or you'll find new friends in this new season of life. Next question. I have a best friend who is going through a very hard time in her marriage. I'm there to listen when she needs it, and I give advice the best that I can. In past months, I have felt her grow quieter towards me. I know she's going through a lot, and I want to be there for her always, but I've just felt this shift in our relationship. I'm not sure what I could do as a friend to make her feel better. While I'm so sad for her and everything she's going through, I'm also sad for our friendship because it's not the same as it was. I reach out to her to check in and see when she could get together, but it feels like it's mostly me trying to make the connection. I feel terrible saying this because I know she's going through so much, and I know you'll say communication, and I completely agree, but any sort of hard conversation gives me so much anxiety. Am I the asshole here and should I get over myself? Sounds like your friend is just going through. Let her come to you. She's going through a season of life that's probably difficult and challenging. You're letting her know that you're there for her, but if she's not reciprocating that, like, what are you gonna do? You could lead a horse to water.

[B]

You know, don't take it personal. Everyone deals with difficult situations and issues in their life differently. So I know, for example, if you and I aren't getting along or we're in, like, a bad. Makes me not want to talk to anybody.

[A]

Yeah, you're not, like, let me go hang out with my friends because I'll.

[B]

Just show that I'm miserable. I can't. I can't shut that off. So, like, I get that maybe she's just saving herself and you from. She doesn't want to be not her normal self with you, too, probably. That's. I mean, that's how I would look at it. That's one way.

[A]

Yeah. Well, and I think that that's. That's a mature way to look at it, because, again, when people go through big life changes, like, it sounds like, again, she's having a hard time in her marriage. And you say that you're sad for your friendship because it's not the same as it was. Like, my friendship after my friendships with a lot of my girlfriends changed drastically after I lost Leo. Like, I just. I'm not the same person. Just like your friend is going through a change, and she might not be the same person after this, but, like.

[B]

Focusing on, like, trying to mend her marriage and try to get that back on course. Maybe they're doing therapy. Maybe they're just trying to do whatever it takes to kind of, like, I can't imagine that if you're not. If you're not good in your marriage, if you're not your home life's not good, it's going to affect everything else.

[A]

Right? Yeah. It spills over into other avenues of your life. So don't take it personal. I think you're doing what you should be. You're there for her as a friend. You're letting her know, don't push.

[B]

I think you've done enough.

[A]

Yeah. And also, like, if this isn't a friendship that you want to wait on, then don't. But, I mean, I just don't. I don't think that, you know, you're doing anything wrong. I don't think that you're the. But I just think that she's dealing well.

[B]

There's no reason to, like, cut tight, just hang out with other people until she's ready. Like, this is not. Again, don't take it personally. You. You being like, well, I'm done with that is not the right move.

[A]

Right.

[B]

She's not doing anything. She's just having. As a. As a friend, you want to be there to support that in thickness. Thickness and sickness and health. That's marriage. But, like, that's a good friend, being there for your person and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just letting them know and leave it at that.

[A]

I was pregnant in 2023, two months behind my best friend. We were both so excited, especially to be pregnant together. I had a stillbirth at 37 weeks pregnant and it destroyed me. She was there, but not like you would expect a best friend to be. I kind of distanced myself from her, mostly because it was difficult to see pictures of her son, especially during that first year. I unfollowed her on social media and we became distant. She rarely reached out to me, so I didn't either. I just felt she should have done more, especially with all that I was going through. My husband and I got pregnant again and I gave birth to our little girl this past August. She rarely reached out to me during the entire pregnancy. She sent me a message before I was due to go in for my scheduled C section and then I texted her the day my daughter was born. But we haven't talked since. Since she hasn't reached out once. Should I just be done with this friendship? It seems like we've grown too far apart at this point. I know I should reach out more as well, but after my stillbirth, I was just in a complete bubble and she didn't make much of an effort either, which really hurt. Thanks guys. Love you both.

[B]

I kind of listen like part of that if you can, Cliff, note it. But basically like the rest of the questions. Just like if you're not bold, mutually putting effort into a relationship, maybe it's time to either hash it out, see if it's worth it. If it's not.

[A]

I also want to say a new friendship, when you go through a loss like you experienced it is the deepest, darkest hole that you've ever been through. And I can't imagine like full term, a full term stillbirth. And I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. I also, with that said in the same breath, know that people who haven't gone through that do not know how to show up for people who are going through that. Especially when your best friend is in a season of her life that is now the complete opposite of what you're going through. She's going through a season of life that you now no longer can. Two things that you were supposed to be doing together. So I'm sure she still feels some sort of guilt, like survivor's guilt, because this is what people in my life has. Has told me that it's hard for them to know how to show up when they have this very thing that you that slipped through your fingers that you lost. And you also, like when I was in your shoes again when we lost Leo At 26 weeks, I could not. I couldn't be friends or feel close to people who were currently pregnant or just had babies. It was so painful. So I think distancing yourself is normal. But I don't think that putting that much pressure on her to have shown up for you in the correct way, that she should have known. You also have to communicate what you want. Like, when the relationships that I had in my life during that time were strained because people weren't showing up for me in the way that I felt like they should, I had to communicate what I needed from the. Those people. I couldn't hold them to this standard. Like, they're not doing what they should be doing. People don't know, especially when it's something that dark and horrible. And so I feel like she was probably following your lead. And whether you think that she should have been a better friend or not, like, up to you. And, you know, what you think. But I. I don't know. I don't think that this friendship has to be done. I think that you went through extremely different seasons of life. I do think that you could come back together now, just both seeing where.

[B]

Each other's coming from.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I think that's. Well said.

[A]

Yeah. But I'm sorry. But also in the same breath, congratulations on your little girl. And I hope that you can find this friend again. And, you know, it doesn't. Your friendship doesn't have to be over just because you both went through a rough patch in life. But that's it for now. Oh, wait. But I also have a secret. And I guess someone wrote this in based off of our last episode. So here we go. My dog, whom I once loved before having kids, now feels like my worst enemy. I hate my dog, and I feel really guilty about it. But honestly, I just want my dog to die of old age so I could focus on taking care of my kids.

[B]

No, I. I'd fall apart if Kobe.

[A]

Did we talk about the book that we read? Did I talk about it?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

But yeah. Where, you know, it was a custom book that my friend had gotten me where it's, like, about Lucy and Kobe and their life adventures as buddies. And I get to the end of this book, and it's like, from Kobe's perspective, he's talking to Lucy because I'm reading her bedtime story, and it's like an. Even when I'm old and gray, I'll never forget all the Time that we played, like, something like that.

[B]

I so sad.

[A]

And I'm like, I. As. As hard as this is in life, like this beautiful, challenging season that we're in, like, I embrace it all. I would never. Like. I love Kobe so much.

[B]

Yeah. No, I don't. And I wish him to die.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I wish him to shut the fuck up sometimes. Sure. No, he's gone through so much of Kobe. The. The trips, the driving across country, North Carolina beach in the middle of winter. So much.

[A]

Been there with me through everything. Everything. He was my post college dog. I know. Had a few dads before you came into the picture.

[B]

No, he didn't.

[A]

And now here we are.

[B]

So I didn't have. I was trying to think of something funny. I did not have anything funny to say about.

[A]

No. But previous, everyone. What?

[B]

Previous boyfriends. Daddies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Baby daddy. Kobe's.

[A]

He was confused. He was like, who is my dad? And then you came in. He was like, that's. That's my real dad.

[B]

It's the real dad.

[A]

But, yeah, you guys let us know. Those with toddlers. Is it the same as having a dog with your first.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That is a good question.

[A]

I want to know.

[B]

No one's gonna admit that. No, but they should, right?

[A]

I could imagine.

[B]

Like, oh, my God. All right.

[A]

Oh, Rex.

[B]

Rex.

[A]

My wreck is gonna be Dancing with the Stars. I grew up as a dancer. I danced in college, but I've never watched.

[B]

Just plugging everything. She wants to be on. She's like, is it cake or not? Which I want to be on. No, truly, I'll be pissed if you get in the show before I would. And now Dancing with a slight Stars.

[A]

I don't know which one I would rather be on. Like, as a judge on Is it cake? Or as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.

[B]

You should do Dancing with the Stars because you were a dancer. You'll kill it.

[A]

Can't even touch my toes right now. It would be so difficult for me to, like, get back into dance shape.

[B]

Cool. You know how to do, like, the one and two and. What does that.

[A]

You mean, like, count to eight?

[B]

The steps. Five, six, seven, eight.

[A]

What steps?

[B]

I don't know. That's how you learn dance moves, right?

[A]

Yeah, you just count to eight the whole time.

[B]

Who's saying eight?

[A]

That's how many.

[B]

One and two, three and four in a song. One, two, three, four, one. That's how you count.

[A]

Music is by.

[B]

Exactly. Look how much you already know they made.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

That means first place, Alex.

[A]

Okay. Hopefully I'm gonna win the mirror ball.

[B]

But no, we did just his pants.

[A]

Yeah, it smells, but I've never. I've never watched. It's sour. Did you give him that dog food?

[B]

Well, he was at rehab. I gave him like, two little probably chicken treats. There were the little pebbles.

[A]

It smells like when he eats that dog food. That, like, soft dog food.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

All right, he's right here.

[B]

Mine. Oh, I'm not done. You're not done?

[A]

So, yeah, I've never watched Dancing with the Stars or, like, really cared about it until this season, and I feel like it's because there's so many people who I at least recognize on the season and I feel like they did really well with casting. So, yeah, my rec is if you haven't watched Dancing with the the Stars, maybe tune in the season. It's pretty fab.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Cool. Mine is pura vita fire roasted vegetables from Costco.

[A]

What? Oh, from that black bag?

[B]

Yeah, those are because, you know, cutting up vegetables is so annoying and, like, you always want to have a side dish of vegetables. And these fire roasted vegetables are the. It's just like, boom, there's your. Because you're always like, I want vegetables. I want vegetables. The fart is so bad. We're moving on. Anyway.

[A]

Another one.

[B]

Pure P U R A V I D A pure via vegetables from Costco. The big bag, it's. It's a perfect side. Dude, that smells like trash. Anyways.

[A]

He's dead.

[B]

Like, subscribe, email comment. Do all the things.

[A]

Kobe's doing this on purpose because he's like, you're going to shit talk Me? Yeah, I'm going to shit my pants.

[B]

Plug us. Hurry up.

[A]

If you want to follow us, you can find us everywhere. Give it to me straight podcast on the socials. If you want to send us an anonymous question, you could do so in our show notes or you can email us at hello, Give it tome straight podcast dot com. And we'll see you next week.

[B]

Ciao. Ciao. Bye.

[A]

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