76. Giving you payroll lies, petty vibes, and blocked wives

Summary

Give It To Me Straight, Episode 76: Giving you payroll lies, petty vibes, and blocked wives

Hosts: Alex & Jon
Release Date: Nov 4, 2025
Podcast Network: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

In this colorful, candid episode, husband and wife duo Alex & Jon navigate their messy, hilarious lives as new parents—and dive headfirst into listener questions about work drama, friendship boundaries, and why knowing when to walk away (from jobs or relationships) is an act of self-respect. Packed with playful Halloween vibes, raw parenting lessons, sidebar rants, and their trademark give-it-to-me-straight energy, they offer unfiltered advice, memorable banter, and practical takes on personal and professional dilemmas.

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Main Segments & Notable Moments

1. Halloween Costumes: Witches & Spouses

[00:47–05:26]

• The episode opens in costume, riffing on "Wicked" (Alex as Elphaba, Jon as Glinda), playful teasing about who embodies which witch, and the chaos of amateur makeup application.
  • "I also feel like, personality wise, you're probably more of an Elphaba and I'm more of a Glinda." – Alex [02:31]
  • Jon laments the everyday struggle of makeup: “The fact that you have to put makeup on every day? Not it.” [03:58]
• Quick banter about Halloween, their child Lucy’s first costume season, and Jon’s “corner crackhead” look in glitter.
  • "It's called Unicorn Come or something. What's it called?" – Jon [25:19]

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2. Parenthood Adventures & Travel Trials

[05:26–18:58]

• Lucy’s sleep patterns: Four-hour stretches are a triumph in the newborn stage.
  • "Longest stretch that she's slept so far has been four hours." – Alex [06:01]
• Road trip upstate: What was supposed to be a two-and-a-half hour trip becomes four with a newborn. Packing for three? The car's bursting.
  • On travel: “I think that's one of the things that we didn't realize like beforehand...No, you actually need all that.” – Alex [07:00]
• Family support and leaf-peeping gone awry: bringing Alex’s parents, learning Google Maps' “faster routes” are more traffic control than true shortcuts.
  • Jon: “We shouldn't alter our route for two to five minutes. If it's like 30 minutes, change the route.” [08:59]

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3. Strollers, Gear, and Parental Recommendations

[16:29–19:39]

• Detailed discussion on stroller shopping and the importance of a test-drive.
  • Both recommend the Nuna Swive and Swiv/Triv bassinet for ease of travel and sleep success.
  • “You grab the handle and you hold it and then the wheels can go like 360...It's very easy.” – Alex [17:42]
  • On minimalist parenting: "I love simple. We're minimalist." – Jon [19:39]

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4. Family Stories: Dangerous Dan & Clumsy Dogs

[19:51–27:11]

• Tales about “Dangerous Dan” (Alex’s dad)—his lifelong daredevil streak, e-bike mishaps, and series of hospital visits—noting the family “nine lives” genes.
  • “He can drive 1 million miles per hour...So—and you're terrified.” – Alex [14:29]
• Side conversation: their dog Kobe is missing from socials due to health issues, not lack of love.
  • "We just haven't really been able to include him because he's injured. He's still healing." – Alex [27:05]

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5. Domestic Pet Peeves: Fridge Organization & Soup Dumping

[27:13–29:48]

• Alex’s work to keep the fridge organized is undone by Jon’s culinary chaos; in a rush, he prioritizes efficiency over tidiness.
  • "Why every time do I open it, it looks like you just scrambled it?" – Alex [27:55]
  • Jon’s soup-draining style: hand as strainer, to Alex’s horror.

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6. Rants & Riffs: Gym Etiquette and Everyday Annoyances

[30:07–33:11]

• Jon rails against poor gym etiquette: unbalanced squat racks and people lifting in his personal space.
  • “All I had to do is say no. But he caught me off guard...I hate being caught off guard.” – Jon [32:32]
• Alex relates to being caught off guard from her own hospital story (allowing a med student to watch her give birth).

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7. Audience Q&A: Work, Relationships, & Tough Boundaries

[36:50–61:01]

Theme: Navigating Work Drama, Boundaries, and “Blocked Wives”

a) Passed Over at Work for Promotion

• Listener feels overlooked for promotions despite “friendship” from manager.
  • Jon: “She’s comfortable with you, so she’s okay with not making you a priority…Don’t be loyal.” [38:54]
  • Alex: “You have to be selfish. This isn’t a time to care about loyalty.” [38:59]

b) Co-worker Hookup Gone Awry

• Listener hooked up with a colleague, only to discover he's engaged to someone at the hospital.
  • “Why would you think you’re dumb if you didn’t know?” – Jon [40:01]
  • "Would you say something?" - Alex
    "No, probably not. Nope. I'd bury that deep down." – Jon [40:15]

c) Chronic Desk Chatter

• New hire’s co-worker won't stop stopping by.
  • “Oh yeah, your co-workers are going to hate you if you say something.” – Jon [41:52]
  • Alex advocates for balance: “The best parts about working jobs with other people is forming the relationships. It makes it less miserable.” [42:20]
  • Jon detours into a lunch story: “It was four chicken thighs. Four…I put into a wrap with Frank’s hot sauce.” [43:43]

d) Back from Maternity Leave/To Quit or Not

• Listener torn about returning to job post-baby.
  • “It's such a personal choice…If you could do it, do it.” – Alex [45:00]

e) Alleged Cultural Misstep

• Accidental assumption at work leads to ongoing shunning.
  • "Don’t assume…but you apologized for it. Get the fuck over it. She's being a twat.” – Jon [47:49]
  • “If you speak to me in any other language, that is the biggest compliment.” – Alex [47:17]

f) Manager’s Jealous Wife Texts a Listener

• Manager’s wife contacts an employee, suspects an affair.
  • “Be verbatim: hey, your wife thinks we’re fucking.” – Jon [49:21]
  • “If there’s HR, bring it up to HR.” – Alex [49:30]
  • “Not bringing it up is suspicious.” – Alex [49:40]

g) Free Wedding Photography Nightmare

• Listener shoots a friend’s wedding for free and is accused of “holding hostage” the (disliked) photos.
  • Jon: "I would by accidentally just erase all the photos." [53:05]
  • "You did all this stuff for free?...What a fucked up person." – Alex [53:13]
  • Both advise: you’re being too nice; charge for RAWs if possible.

h) Firing a Friend’s Husband/Should I Tell Her the Truth?

• Listener's “friend” blocks her after firing friend’s husband for theft at their business.
  • Jon: “As long as you did everything by the book, legally, I think you did everything correct. ... I hope I bring turmoil to their relationship for sure. That guy’s a prick.” [58:47]
  • Alex: “She obviously is going to side with her husband...Why even waste any more energy on this?” [59:43]

i) Secrets Segment

• Listener hates her marriage, can’t leave yet for financial reasons, and fantasizes about someone else.
  • “It's kind of a weak secret...You have fantasy, whatever." – Jon [61:32]
  • Alex: "I'm sure a lot of people have that secret." [61:38]

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8. Recs of the Week & Episode Wrap

[61:48–End]

• Jon’s Recommendations: Stretchy swaddles for infants.
  • “Non-stretch swaddles...No, I meant to say stretch swaddles. I like those.” [62:55]
• Alex’s Recommendation: Skims nursing bras for support and comfort. [63:06]
• Encouragement to follow and send in questions/stories.

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Notable Quotes & Bites

• “Are you going to try to put out every fire of like people talking shit about you? Like, just prove your point?” – Alex [59:15]
  • "No, sorry Alex, I'm not putting out a fire. I'm adding gas to the fire. Dump gas on that fire. Let it burn." – Jon [59:22]
• “Fact check anything...We don't have accurate anything…That doesn't make us liable.” – Jon [23:06]
• “The company doesn’t give a shit about you. So nerd.” – Jon (on coworkers who only want to focus) [42:35]
• “If you could live within your means and you’re okay with that, do that…Would you rather be miserable working at your job?” – Alex [44:57]
• "The cheaper the client, the more work it is." – Jon [55:33]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamps | |--------------------------------------------------------|--------------------| | Halloween banter & makeup mishaps | 00:47–05:26 | | Parenting & travel with a newborn | 05:26–18:58 | | Stroller & parenting gear reviews | 16:29–19:39 | | “Dangerous Dan” stories; e-bike adventure | 19:51–27:11 | | Fridge organization argument & soup-dumping technique | 27:13–29:48 | | Gym etiquette & birth misfires | 30:07–33:11 | | Audience Q&A: Jobs, coworkers, boundaries | 36:50–61:01 | | Product recommendations and wrap-up | 61:48–End |

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Tone & Style

This episode is driven by Alex & Jon’s irreverent, candid, and chaotic chemistry. Conversations veer easily from serious to silly, underscored by playful roasting, chaotic sidebar stories, and a mutual support-through-snark ethos.

• Alex’s tone is empathetic, detail-oriented, sometimes exasperated, often leading the conversation back on track.
• Jon is deadpan, delightfully blunt, and often the instigator of rants or comic detours.

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Takeaways

• In relationships and work, your boundaries matter: Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and walk away from bad bosses, toxic friends, or chaotic colleagues.
• Parenting and adulting are chaos—do what keeps you sane. Minimize, prioritize, and laugh at the absurdity.
• You cannot control others’ perceptions. Sometimes, lighting a match (with honesty) and walking away is self-care.

For anyone fighting through postpartum fog, job drama, or friendship heartbreak, this episode delivers humor, solidarity, and a good dose of permission to set it all on fire if that’s what you need.

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Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Submit your own question or “secret” to Give It To Me Straight for unfiltered advice next episode!

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media.

[B]

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[A]

Are you going to, like, try to, like, put out every fire of, like, people talking shit about you? Like, just, like, prove your point?

[B]

No, sorry, Alex, I'm not putting out a fire. I. I'm adding gas to the fire.

[A]

I know that's what you.

[B]

What are you gonna put. Put out the fire. Fuck no. Dump gas on that fire. Let it burn. And welcome back to Give it to me straight.

[A]

I'm Elphaba.

[B]

And I'm Glenda.

[A]

Glenda.

[B]

And we're your gracious, gracious, gracious host.

[A]

Gracious host. Happy Halloween. John. You thought that you got out of dressing up, but you didn't.

[B]

I. So when this comes out, is it after Halloween?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, technically real time for us. Halloween is in like two days, so I figured we might as well. Just for the spirit. Do you wanna. Do you want a bobby pin?

[B]

Itching my face.

[A]

I'm gonna get you a bobby pin.

[B]

No, no, we're fine. No, because you're gonna use my glazed Elda wand.

[A]

Your magic wand.

[B]

So. Actually, never even seen Wicked before you.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I saw it in theaters without you.

[B]

Is it a sing along?

[A]

It's not a sing along, but it is a musical. I actually saw Wicked on Broadway when it was the original cast.

[B]

My tits hanging out. Alex has a strat to my back with a. With a phone cord.

[A]

A wire.

[B]

A phone wire?

[A]

Like a USB cord. I couldn't find anything else.

[B]

So am I the good witch or the bad witch?

[A]

I don't. I think we're both just evil. No, I mean, really. It's just. You just have to watch it. Glinda is more like the. What are you doing? Why are you looking at me with your little eye?

[B]

Star power, baby.

[A]

Maybe I shouldn't have made you Glinda today. You're too distracted.

[B]

My hair, my wand.

[A]

I also feel like, personality wise, like, you're probably more of an Elphaba and I'm more of a Glinda. But I thought that maybe we could, like, switch characters to, like, embody. Like, I want to show. Be a little bit more realistic and not so optimistic. And you could be a little bit more optimistic and friendly.

[B]

Look like a corner crackhead. That's what I look like.

[A]

I think you look stunning.

[B]

I'm the wish list Grenda.

[A]

It's Clint.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

What is really hard that I realize is doing other people's makeup, like, that's a skill because you blinking. I was like, yo, fuck it, we're not doing mascara.

[B]

Look how she did my lipstick. I looks like I've been on a bender. Bender all night. I am. I have, actually.

[A]

Do you think that we should walk around with Lucy like this?

[B]

No.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Absolutely not.

[A]

These aren't actually our Halloween costumes, though. But I just thought, like, Wicked is coming out. And then I was also inspired by Dancing with the Stars last week. And I was like, oh, my God, John would make a beautiful Glinda.

[B]

Dancing with the Stars. Not for me, Alex. Definitely. You got it. You should be on it.

[A]

But that's.

[B]

You're a dancer.

[A]

But that's why it would be more fun to have you on it, because I do like to see people.

[B]

1 and 2 and 1 and 2. 1, 3, 1, 1, 4, 1, 4. It's the stops.

[A]

That's not. Yeah, you'll get it if you get on and learn and practice. But that's the point. Anyway, you look beautiful. Any updates? John, what did you do this week?

[B]

I just can't believe women paint their face every day like this. Not it. Oh, stuck. Seriously, like the fact that you have to put makeup on every day.

[A]

You don't have to.

[B]

Whatever. Even if you do, I wouldn't. Wouldn't at all. Would never do it.

[A]

Okay, well, that's your choice.

[B]

Miserable.

[A]

I mean, yeah, it's.

[B]

You must poke yourself in the eye every time you're putting that eyeliner on. You got, you know, having lipstick on. Disgusting. I was gonna bring my coffee downstairs. I get so grossed out, like, feeling something that's on my lip onto the cup. I can't drink it. I had a water bottle, and I don't actually care for. Not that motion. Keep that in. I had the water bottle and I, like, would drop it into my mouth because I didn't want My mouth on the bottle.

[A]

You just get used to it. Just like having long hair again. And it's not like you have to, it's just. I mean, we. I've been putting on makeup since I was a kid, but I wanted to because you see other older girls do it and like, you think it's fun. I don't know. Yeah, it's. We could probably go down a whole conversation about, you know, history.

[B]

Gross.

[A]

But it's your choice.

[B]

Don't women eat like a pound of makeup a year?

[A]

I have no idea. Oh God, my tits now. You know, John. What it's like, not me like shoving my tips in here with my nursing bra. I'm like, just hoping I don't leak. But no, let's talk about. Forget that you are uncomfortable. Get used to it. It's called being a woman. How was your week?

[B]

Great. We went upstate.

[A]

We did. We went and saw the leaves. Even though there wasn't many leaves.

[B]

Apparently it's called leaf peeping.

[A]

Oh yeah. When you go somewhere to look at the colors of the leaves.

[B]

Yeah. I don't like that name. I'm just like a. I like to look at the fall foliage, you know?

[A]

Foliage. Yeah, Foliage, foliage, foliage, foliage, foliage, foliage.

[B]

Close enough.

[A]

Gosh. This whole season is really just us figuring out how to pronounce words.

[B]

Yeah. I'm just thinking. I. I can't even get my words out of my mouth.

[A]

Lucy has been making strides. The longest stretch that she's slept so far has been four hours.

[B]

One. That's like our one scheduled thing at night. She has a hard sleep. The first sleep at like 8, 8:30 and she'll sleep like midnight.

[A]

But then it's like up every hour after that. We don't know what we're doing.

[B]

Guys, we need some gas. Relieving advice. The mellicolin drops don'.

[A]

I think it's young. She's still just young. That's what I've heard from other people. They're like. They're just still developing, like, he'll try.

[B]

I feel like Alex is waterboarding her with milk.

[A]

I mean, she's growing girl. It's not my.

[B]

Who knows? We're just, I don't know, flying in the seat of our pants.

[A]

We're just trying to defy gravity, you know?

[B]

Totally. Totally. So, yeah, we went upstate. I thought it was going to be our first test run with Lucy. I thought it was going to be a two and a half hour drive. Ended up being like four.

[A]

Yeah. I think that's one of the things that we didn't realize like beforehand where we would talk about less is more. Oh, people bring too much stuff when they travel with their kid. It's like, no, you actually need all that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you just don't know. Actually there's only three of us.

[B]

The car was full.

[A]

Packed. It was packed. I mean, between diapers, whatever. It was a learning experience. Everything is a learning curve.

[B]

Besides this four hour car ride. We get there really nice. Did a really nice farmhouse. You got to stay at a farmhouse. It was the Wilder Hotel.

[A]

The Wilder Hotel in Windham. It was beautiful. I mean real. I can envision it being perfect for Hocus Pocus movie. Well, that. But a big group who's doing a ski trip or if you want to rent it out for like a wedding party. Beautiful.

[B]

So it's pretty cool. It's right next to like a ski mountain and they have like a vintage Land Rover. They'll take you from the hotel to the ski lodge. It's pretty cool.

[A]

Are you going to use it this year to go skiing? John?

[B]

I'm never going to ski again. I'll try snowboarding though.

[A]

The one problem that I have with driving around these days, which I actually want to ask everybody, if you concur, it's supposed to take two and a half hours to get upstate. Ends up taking us for Google Maps. They're like, choose this, choose this route. You could save 15 minutes. And every time I'm like, you know, probably not. Like, I don't think that it's accurate. So we were like, this time, fudge it. Like we have a screaming baby in the car. Let's take the route. The faster route. As long as we're just driving, then she's not screaming. So we click it. And it doesn't take longer. It's about the same exact time, but like we're moving the whole time. And I'm wondering, take. Does Google Maps actually, when it says that it has a faster route for you, does it actually. Is it actually faster or is it just trying to disperse traffic so that there's less people in that area?

[B]

I think both. I think both. But if it's.

[A]

We shouldn't because you know us like we don't know where the fuck we're going. We're just going to follow our GPS.

[B]

We shouldn't alter our route for two to five minutes. If it's like 30 minutes, change the route.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Two to five minutes isn't worth.

[A]

So is it route or is it.

[B]

Route depending on tomato, tomato.

[A]

I know that's like there's some words like that, like data and data. What do you say?

[B]

Data.

[A]

Data. That's what I say too.

[B]

What?

[A]

What do you say?

[B]

I'm just glad Google Maps is around, because if we didn't have Google Maps, we would be screwed. And it's a free app, so I'm like, that's my rack. Google Maps.

[A]

Google Maps.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're just like jumping ahead, but not MapQuest.

[B]

But I do think they give you an alternate route to dis. Disrupt. No, to disperse. Disperse traffic.

[A]

We. We should have taken a full maternity leave. Like, we're not. We're unwell. We can't put any words together. So we brought my parents to help assist us with Lucy, since this was like our first trial getaway with her. And we were like, we'll just do something quick. Easy. Upstate again. Wasn't quick. Wasn't easy. But good learning. Learning experience. But my parents were with us, which was great. Oh, but before we get up there, my dad is like, so what are we going to do up there? And we're like, I don't know, Dan. Hang out. Quality time. But I think he ended up having more fun than you probably did. The hotel that we stayed at had these e bikes.

[B]

I've never been on one, by the.

[A]

Way, but were these for the road or are these for.

[B]

They're mountain. No, they're. They're mountain bikes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You do both.

[A]

Cuz you guys were. I was very nervous that we were going to end up in the emergency room. My dad almost flew into a tree like four times.

[B]

Yeah, Dangerous Dan is. He almost fell off the bike or slammed into something a total of four to five times.

[A]

Growing up, my dad was called Dangerous Dan. Daredevil Dan. Any. Anything risky, that was him. And he loved riding dirt bikes and quads. So this was up his alley, Mr. 68 Year Old. Like, I'm. Like, your bones are brittle. You're. You're going to hurt yourself. But he was flying around with you. And I almost saw him slam into a tree 18 times. My dad has nine lives. Knock on wood. Like he's a cat. This episode is brought to you by Neiman Marcus. You know that moment when you swear you're going to get your holiday shopping done early this year, and then suddenly it's mid November, your list is longer than ever, and you've bought exactly zero gifts? Yeah, that's me. Every time. Except usually it's even later. It's like December misprocrestinator January, since we don't even celebrate holidays on the holiday it's fine, we're. But I love holiday shopping and I desperately need help when it comes to holiday shopping. Like, I'll start with one person in mind and somehow end up scrolling cookware that I don't need. But that's why I love Neiman Marcus. It's truly your home for the most exceptional gifts. And they make it easy to find something special for everyone. From the foodie friend who loves gourmet goodies to your mom who deserves the chicest jewelry, to the partner who pretends they don't want anything.

[B]

That's me.

[A]

Even the impossible to shop for people are covered thanks to their holiday gift guides. And if you're like me and need a little nudge in the right direction, the Neiman Marcus Style Advisors are a lifesaver. They'll help you find the perfect gift at every price. No stress, no panic scrolling at midnight. Just beautifully curated options that make you look like you have it all together. So if you're looking for gifts that are guaranteed to surprise and delight, head to Neiman Marcus and maybe get yourself a little something too, because you deserve it.

[B]

Support for today's episode comes from Square here. Let me just say, I love the holidays, but unlike Alex, I don't like shopping.

[A]

I just need help with shopping. I don't who I don't know anyone who really loves holiday shopping.

[B]

Even though I'm not a huge fan of shopping in general. Who makes it easier when I have to shop is Square. When I walk into a local shop that's running like a well oiled sleigh, there's fast checkout, digital receipts, staff who actually look calm, and you just know they're using Square. It's the difference between pure chaos and someone clearly having their life together. Square is like the ultimate holiday toolkit for businesses. It helps them keep up with demand, from payments and inventory to staffing and online orders all in one place. So whether you're a business owner trying to handle the holiday rush or just someone who wants an easier shopping experience. Hi, that's me. Square makes things smoother on both sides of the counter. And right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware. When you sign up at square.com go straight. That's S Q U-A-R-E.com go straight. So if you want to run your business smarter or just make people like me enjoy shopping again, get started with Square today. Because the right tools really do make all the difference. I just think it's funny, like your dad always, you know, drove Dirt bikes, quads, all this, like, gearhead kind of stuff. And he's really, like, clumsy. Not a good driver. He'll kill me for that. Like, your dad is not a good driver. Everyone knows your dad's not a good driver.

[A]

Is it that because he's never again, knock on wood, Gotten into an accident.

[B]

He blames everyone else on the road but himself. Like, who's the common denominator? Your dad.

[A]

You guys know the bus driver in Harry Potter? Who, like, in the skinny bus, where it's like the shrunken head, but the guy who's driving the bus and it's like, whipping around and you're like, I'm. My life is on the line. But he never gets into a crash. That's my dad. He can drive 1 million miles per hour. Don't. Don't come after him. Do paperwork. Be on his phone call. So. And you're terrified.

[B]

You're shitting your pants.

[A]

But, like, he has been doing it from. From New York City.

[B]

He's putting innocent lives at risk for sure.

[A]

But that's why I think he has nine lives. Like, he has some divine angel looking over him. Because the way that this man has never caused wreckage. And that's why I'm like, I don't.

[B]

Even want to say himself.

[A]

I don't even want to say it. Yeah. And he ends up in the hospital every year for something.

[B]

I was behind her dad on this trail on the E bike. And I'm watching him. Like, he's. Oh, I had my hand on the brake and the gas at the same time. So he's trying to go around the turn. He's just going straight. I'm like, holy shit.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. One time, I remember my dad came home from, like, driving his quad. His thumb is not even at, like, a 90 degree angle. It's like straight down. He's trying to pop it back. Another time, he came to my grandma's house. He had shot a nail gun through his hand. Another time, he just, like. He's always hurting himself because he's just going 0 to 100. He's daredevil Dan.

[B]

He's the man. He's the man.

[A]

Wild. He's wild. All the times I've gone skydiving, my dad, he's the one who's just like. He wants to jump out on his own. He's like, I will figure it out.

[B]

He's always so disappointed. He's like, let's go skydiving. I'm like, let's not.

[A]

And the Guys are like, no, you. Unless you're. You've taken the tandem class. Like you need to dive.

[B]

Same thing was like, yeah, like scuba diving. Where he's like, I want to go 200ft down.

[A]

Man has like a fake heart now he has a heart valve. And they're like, yeah, well you shouldn't go below 100 yard or whatever. 100.

[B]

Don't tell me what to do.

[A]

Don't care. Just goes down into the ocean. The reason why I was saying that was he was afraid of being bored. But you guys almost killed yourself. Yeah, a few times. But it was fun. So while you guys are having fun on the trail, almost running into trees, my mom and I are walking on the path that is pretty much paved. But it was pretty. What is it called?

[B]

Smooth.

[A]

No, it was a.

[B]

It was gravel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Concrete.

[A]

The terrain.

[B]

Pavement. It was pavement.

[A]

There was no blue stone. I can't. It was pretty rocky. But Lucy loved it in her stroller. I feel like that's like the number one thing when you're looking as a parent at all these different items to get. Strollers are a hot topic and no one really knows what to get. And unless you have someone who's experienced with certain brands of strollers, you have to go in person and try them yourself. We thankfully tried the stroller that we got at Baby List, but I'm so glad with what we ended up getting.

[B]

You definitely have to test drive these bad boys for sure because you will never know. So yeah, like we went to Babyliss, we test drove all these and we got the Nuna swiv. Honestly, the Nuna swive was the best option because the monetized. We have so much shit in our house first off, to be able to MacGyver through our cameras, through our lights.

[A]

We're not strolling her through our house though.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm. I need to move it around like all of our stuff because we have it inside, we gotta bring it outside. I got both cars in the garage. So I'm like swiving around, swimming and swerving around the cars to get outside.

[A]

Well, yeah, so like you grab the handle and you hold it and then the wheels can go like 360. So it's very easy to do. You call that a crab walk when you go left to right?

[B]

I don't know. Cuz these wheels can go all the way around I think.

[A]

Right. But cars, when cars are on the road and they can.

[B]

That's a crab walk. Cuz it's like an angle and a crab walks like parallel.

[A]

Oh, got it.

[B]

It's like for parallel parking, which you could do that too.

[A]

Yeah. So these do 360. They're also easy. It makes it easy when you're in a restaurant, which I've noticed. Cuz like when we brought her into the restaurant over the weekend, it was able to, it was easy to get through tables and then just like put, put her.

[B]

That's the biggest thing is you don't have to like pick the stroller up to move it. You know, it could stay in all four wheels. It's safe and just in between chairs.

[A]

And it's the easiest to pack. That was a selling point for me. I was like, how do, how do you break this down? You grab like the little two pieces leather bar in the center and you hold it and it completely collapses.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We've had a lot of people ask us for products to get, not to get what type of stroller we have, what, you know, what we don't like, but every time. I'm so glad to say that the Nuna Swive has has over delivered. But it makes it so easy when you are traveling because then you don't have to worry about bringing a pack and play. And you could use the bassinet on the stroller as well. It's the Nuna Swiv and Triv series bassinet. There's so many different things, but it makes it easy that these are all interchangeable.

[B]

You know, it's nice too because at night it was the same level as the bed, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So like she's crying. Alex could just like roll over.

[A]

Okay. Also her in that bassinet was the first time that she slept the longest stretch that she' never slept.

[B]

True.

[A]

And we were like, we had a different bassinet at home, but because we were traveling, we brought the Nuna bassinet with us and we're like, okay, how is she gonna sleep in this? We really didn't know. And then she slept I think the first time for three and a half hours.

[B]

I'm like, is it the best of that cold, fresh air, cool mountain, crisp air, crisp with the fall foliage.

[A]

So the two products that we use that are good for traveling or I mean, just even being at home, honestly. It's the Swiss stroller, the Swift bassinet. Super easy.

[B]

Super easy. I love simple. I love, we're minimalist. You know, I also just love this outfit.

[A]

So while you guys were riding around on your e bikes, Lucy was basically doing the same thing, just taking a nap in her stroller. Bas.

[B]

She sleeps like immediately.

[A]

I think she likes the rugged terrain, but maybe it's the shocks in the stroller that keeps her. That keeps her smooth and calm because like she did not budge. She like sleeps the best.

[B]

Right. Just. What's her name? Play this girl. The one from the Disney Channel.

[A]

Ariana Grande.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think I'm Ariana Grande.

[A]

I don't think she's Disney Channel. I think she was Nickelodeon, but yeah.

[B]

And then she played Tomb Raider. What was her name? The Original Tomb Raider 1 was married to Brad Pitt. Angelina Jolia. Is that who you're playing?

[A]

No, I'm Cynthia Revo.

[B]

Oh. She was the witch in. In the Dwarves movie with all the dwarves. White.

[A]

Wicked.

[B]

No, Snow White.

[A]

I don't think Snow White.

[B]

Yeah, I think she was the witch. Oh, John. Or was she talking about Witch Hunter or something where she was the witch and the guy who plays Thor was in that movie?

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

I think so. I think I got it. I was trying to figure out who was the actress who played your part.

[A]

Do you. Do you want me to show you? That's Cynthia.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm thinking of an older movie who plays like the witch.

[A]

You mean like the original?

[B]

Whatever. Doesn't matter.

[A]

Not the original Wicked. This is the original Wicked. What is it called? What's the movie called?

[B]

Snow White.

[A]

Dorothy.

[B]

Oh, Dorothy. No, not that far back.

[A]

What is that movie called?

[B]

Angelina Jolie plays a witch in some movies. Movie.

[A]

The wizard of Oz.

[B]

Yeah. That's not it though.

[A]

What? Angelina Jolie has nothing to do with Wicked.

[B]

I. For some reason.

[A]

Oh, you're thinking of when she was.

[B]

Yeah, with the horns.

[A]

Maleficent. Maleficent, whatever.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. That's Snow White, right?

[B]

Oh yeah. So I was right.

[A]

No, none of these are the same. These are different.

[B]

Anyways, back to our trip.

[A]

John, what the was that tangent?

[B]

I don't know. I don't watch Disney movies.

[A]

This isn't a Disney movie. I don't think Wicked is not associated with Disney.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. No.

[B]

What is it? There's just a made up. Another made up its own like.

[A]

Yeah, it's just not. It's not a Disney movie.

[B]

Is it rated R?

[A]

I don't know, John. Maybe you should watch it. Like, I feel like you have a lot of things to say about things that you don't.

[B]

I do. Coming from the person who wanted to watch Sinners so bad. We're in the movie theater. I know. And you go, I thought this was a comedy.

[A]

You know what we Just watched. What did we just watch?

[B]

Weapons.

[A]

Weapons.

[B]

I wanted to bring that up.

[A]

Scary movie, spooky movie.

[B]

It was interesting. It wasn't like, so scary, but there were parts where I felt so bad, I screamed and scared the shit out of Lucy.

[A]

I know. I was like, she shouldn't be watching this. Well, she wasn't really watching. She wasn't watching it. We don't let her have screen.

[B]

Or she was screen.

[A]

No, she wasn't. But she was near us, and it was. It was scary. We watched the rest of it during the day.

[B]

Well, I really like. I actually like him too. I'm gonna butcher his name. I like him. I don't know his name. It's like Brolin. Josh Brolin or something.

[A]

This is why we need someone live with us. So that instead of saying so many wrong things that we have to backtrack on, someone could just backtrack.

[B]

But that's. Give it to me straight. We don't give right advice. We don't have accurate anything.

[A]

Fact check anything.

[B]

Which is great because that doesn't make us liable because we're not anything we're saying.

[A]

But then you have to say that disclaimer upfront, like I do every time to give that disclaimer where we're like, we don't give good advice.

[B]

Don't listen to us at all.

[A]

Don't know what we're talking about.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So Brolin and then the woman, Ruth, from.

[A]

From Ozark.

[B]

Ozark's such a good show. Anyways, what's her name?

[A]

Julia Roberts. No, Julia Garner.

[B]

Julia Garner. She's so good. She's so talented.

[A]

She's so talented.

[B]

Can we go back to the trip for a second? One thing I learned is when we're driving. So we're driving upstate in the HOV lane, sometimes says plus 2. Sometimes says plus 3. And so we're in the HOV lanes plus 3. And I'm like, I'm in it. I'm like, I guess. Does that count when it's us two plus an infant? Does an infant count?

[A]

Yeah, I would assume so. Show me. She's a human.

[B]

Fact check it. Are you sure?

[A]

Oh, my God. I don't feel like Googling everything. I'm gonna do it. I mean, they're a person. Yes.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So we could go with benefits. 3.

[B]

I mean, I did it anyways, but.

[A]

Well, yeah, she's a person.

[B]

Rebel.

[A]

Yeah. Get it, Glenda?

[B]

I'm a rebel.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So that was our trip. Trip was fun. I feel like what I learned from that is we're not going to go any trips anytime soon with Lucy until she's a little older.

[A]

Was it this trip? I think it was this trip, too, where in the middle of the night, you referenced your vanity muscles again because you couldn't squeeze out the diaper cream. You were like, I'm so weak. I can't squeeze.

[B]

I don't know, like, the diaper rash cream. I'm, like, squeezing so hard like. Like a toothpaste bottle, and I just could not get it out.

[A]

Just in the middle of the night, you have, like, no energy.

[B]

I was used to two hands, like, on the bottle, trying to squeeze. Squeeze it.

[A]

It's so dangerous, though, too, because I'm just like, 2am sleep deprived. Like, you're picking your baby up, bringing them to change their diaper. I'm just like, I. Holding.

[B]

I know.

[A]

The most precious thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Of my life in my hand.

[B]

In our house, we got to go up a couple steps.

[A]

I think about people who have to, like, go up and down during the day. I'm like, you can't wear socks.

[B]

No need.

[A]

Hospital grippy socks.

[B]

Don't wear socks at all.

[A]

I just can't stop looking at your lip liner and how I'm a trash can.

[B]

I know.

[A]

No, you're beautiful. You have a lot of, like, nice glitter on you.

[B]

Thank you. It's called Unicorn Come or something. What's it called?

[A]

Unicorn, Snot, Unicorn. I don't know. I got it on Amazon.

[B]

I always like to go back. I'm always. I'm always looking. I'm always looking at the comments, and I need to make rebuttals. I don't. I don't do rebuttals. Well, you are comments. I do rebuttals via this live or. Or, you know, taped. We love our dog, Kobe. Everybody, everyone, it's like, where is Kobe? Why isn't he in the videos? Or why isn't he, like, in our photos? Because he doesn't care. It's okay. All right. It's not like he's begging us to come in any of these photos or videos. It is a lot to just have us to even do something with. Like, because the photos we did for the magazine.

[A]

Oh, well, also, we talk about that. The Parents Magazine.

[B]

I don't think we did.

[A]

Maybe not. Yeah, Parent. We were in Parents Magazine. Well, their online cover, which was so such an honor. But we talked about our loss. We talked about welcoming Lucy and what we're planning to do for the holidays. And we talked about having Kobe in those photos. He's in the ones that we shot in our house. We just didn't feature all of them because the ones with Kobe had Lucy's face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And no, we. Kobe is still obviously very loved and very much part of our family. But, like, he has injured himself so much. Number one, he has the amount of, like, patchwork on his body. He looks like we just, like, sewed him up and put him back together. Like, his poor hair, I know, is growing back so patchy.

[B]

He starts hydrotherapy tomorrow, but he still is limping around.

[A]

If we added him in, people who don't follow us would be like, these people abuse their dog. He's. He just looks like Frankenstein right now.

[B]

He starts physical therapy tomorrow.

[A]

Yeah, we just haven't really been able to include. Include him because he's injured. He's still healing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, physical therapy will hopefully help him.

[B]

Any other exciting updates?

[A]

I just want to talk about something that I thought was interesting and is the equivalent, you know, you get on me on this podcast about me, like, you know, with my laundry, not, like, turning it inside out how, like, my shirts are always the wrong way. And it just adds time to doing laundry, which I totally understand. The equivalent to that with you is the refrigerator organization. I make it so beautiful. Everything is where it's supposed to be. Like, with the veggies and the meats and, like, the drinks and the yogurts and everything's organized and beautiful. Why every time do I open it, it looks like you just scrambled it. Like, you just went in there and you were like, I'm just going to put everything back wherever I want.

[B]

It must be easy for the person who doesn't cook any of our food lately to say that I'm cooking in a panic. Okay, breakfast. You want it immediately. I'm trying to make that breakfast.

[A]

Hey, dinner.

[B]

We don't even have time.

[A]

Even when I was the one cooking, somehow you would go in there for just, like, coffee creamer and it would turn into shambles. Like, what are you doing in there?

[B]

I'm throwing stuff in.

[A]

That's what I'm looking for.

[B]

I'm cooking and cleaning at the same time. That's why. Because I don't want to be my mother where I cook and leave all this shit out to have all this stuff to do at the end. So I'm just like, as soon as I use something, I throw it back in the fridge.

[A]

Listen, put the fucking one down.

[B]

This is the speaking, speaking one, okay?

[A]

You need to keep the fridge organized. I work really hard, okay?

[B]

I Can't. I can't make any promises.

[A]

I just.

[B]

Just like you can't make promises with your clothes.

[A]

All that you do though, is like you reach in there for some hot sauce and then it all ends up up in a mess. I just don't understand how that happens. I don't understand.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't tell you.

[A]

You're just special in your ways.

[B]

I'm efficient, okay. I keep it clean.

[A]

You are efficient because the other day I saw you emptying out like an older soup that we had made a few days ago and you were like, oh, we're not going to eat this. It's already bad. The way that you emptied the liquid, you would think that, like you would put a lid to drain. If you're draining something, you're putting the lid on it.

[B]

Too many missing too many parts, guys.

[A]

Sean takes this bowl of soup, instead of taking a lid to drain the liquid into the sink, he takes his bare hand, shoves it into the soup pot to hold all of the rest of the food to the bottom, and then you dumped it. You just took your hand and did that. And then you took your hand and. And you threw the rest of the food into the garbage.

[B]

I don't have time for this shit. Okay. Efficiency. I used to work at the know.

[A]

About all your bad jobs.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, that's nothing. I also remember I had a client working out like a pulled pork, like a barbecue place. The stuff I had to do there.

[A]

Okay, we know rough.

[B]

Oh, before we start, I do have a gym etiquette question. Yesterday, doing legs or not? Yesterday, before I was doing legs at the Y. And I'm going to machine and I'm skipping over the squat racks because I want nothing to do with those. And this guy has got the bar down with 2:25, so two 45s on each side.

[A]

Do a deadlifts.

[B]

I don't know what he's doing. It's on the ground. Yeah, I think he's doing deadlifts. And I'm walking by, goes, hey. He's like, can you help me put this back up on the rack? So he wants me to bend. So I'm like, I might have like.

[A]

No, take the 25s off. No shit.

[B]

Like you're going to inconvenience me. So I had to squat down.

[A]

What a dumb fuck.

[B]

Grab the squat rack. And he got the other side. Lift this thing over my head to put onto the rack.

[A]

And it might was he Doing? Did he need it for chest press? Is that why? But either way.

[B]

Either way, take your weights off. Why? Because I could pull my back out or something.

[A]

Etiquette videos fire me up.

[B]

Similarly, oh, my God. Lifting. They come right in front of me and start lifting weights right on the rack with, like, the mirror. I'm like, dude, your asses in my face. Like, get behind me. Don't be lifting in front of the mirror.

[A]

People don't care. Gym etiquette videos and dog etiquette videos are like, what will send me through the roof. I saw one where this girl, she, I guess, like, had just finished doing squats. Clears out all the weights on one side. So obviously it's top heavy. Launch launches over, smashes a guy in the head. I'm just like, understand how things work before. You just are a dumb fuck walking around in the gym.

[B]

Yeah. Starts simple. Because that's like. That's must have been the first time you fucking done that, right?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Because you learn.

[A]

I don't know. I guess may or you're maybe just. Your head is in a different place. Whoa, John. Nip slip.

[B]

You guys see. You guys see this wire behind me?

[A]

If you're watching. Yeah. That's, you know, whatever we're figuring out, we're putting you together.

[B]

But, you know, devil's advocate, sometimes you can have the bar in Iraq and take the weight off and it stays.

[A]

It's just. It's simple math. Like, each side could. The max can have. I'm pretty sure, 45. Like, you could take a 45 plate off and it could stay with a 45 on the other side. But if there's more than a 45 and there's nothing on that other side, it's gonna topple over. I believe that's in my experience.

[B]

So either way, that guy's in the wrong. Got it. It irked me.

[A]

Oh, the one who.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

I mean, all you have to do. It takes more effort to take all the weights.

[B]

All I had to do is say no. But he caught me off guard. And I was like, I hate being caught off guard. Because then I came back.

[A]

Well, that was like when I was about to give birth and that student comes in.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Then he's like. He's like, hey, can I observe? And I was caught off guard. And I was like, sure. And then as soon as he walks out, I tell my nurse. I go. I panicked. I was like, I don't want any students in here, especially anyone with a penis, observing what's happening in my vagina. And she was like, oh yeah, no, we'll close this off. I was like, thank you. But yeah, you panic in the moment. That's why I think it's like when people talk about interactions that they have and like, what you should have, could have, would have done. I'm like, in the moment. You just never really know.

[B]

And today's podcast is also sponsored by hims. Let's be honest, no one really talks about it, but they should, because according to the National Institutes of Health, about 30 million men in the US experience erectile dysfunction. It's more common than a bad night's sleep. And listen, when it happens, it can really mess with your confidence.

[A]

But.

[B]

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[A]

Today's episode is also sponsored by Nature Sunshine. You know those moments where your brain feels like it's running on dial up Internet?

[B]

Yep. Right now, every day.

[A]

Yeah, that's been us lately. Between sleepless night nights, diaper changes, the newborn fog, I'm convinced my brain has left the chat. I just like, I can't get words out either. The other day I opened the fridge to put away my phone along with John's mess in there. So yeah, I'm not exactly firing on all cylinders. That's why I've been loving Nature's Sunshine Brain Edge. It's a clean, plant powered drink mix that helps with focus, clarity and alertness. Which, lets be honest, are three things I haven't had since the baby arrived. Instead of reaching for my fifth cup of coffee for the day and just getting through things, Brain Edge gives me that mental boost without the jitters or the crash. It combines hand harvested yerba mate with powerful nootropics to support focus, memory, and cognitive performance. I've been using it before recording days and when I'm answering emails with one hand and holding a baby in the other. And it actually helps me feel like my brain is back online. Plus, it's from Nature Sunshine, a brand that's been around for over 50 years, sourcing pure, potent ingredients from nature. So it fits right into my wellness routine without feeling gimmicky. So don't fight the brain fog like I did. Ignite your mental performance With Brain Edge, Nature Sunshine is offering 20 off your first order, plus free shipping. Go to naturesunshine.com and use code straight at checkout. That's code straight. S T R A I G H T@nature sunshine.com well, before we jump into questions, though, I did want to say thank you about my turndown service at the hotel last night. I got a chocolate on my pillow.

[B]

Always remember, that was really said on the last podcast.

[A]

That was a really nice treat. I walked in with Lucy and I was like, get the out, Lulu. We got a treat this time.

[B]

I scared Kobe was going to eat it. That's why I closed the door. Oh, you're not getting it every time, though.

[A]

You know, he's. He doesn't go for. You know what? That's a lie. I was gonna say he doesn't go for food as much as he used to, but he does.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Okay, Glinda, shall we jump into questions?

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Let's do it. Do you know what we're talking about today, John?

[B]

No, I never do.

[A]

I barely know as well. But Glinda and Elphaba, they work together. Actually, I don't know that they're working together to.

[B]

You watched the first one. Are they teammates? Are they partners in crime? Are they enemies?

[A]

Like most relationships, they like ebb and flow. And so, like, it started off a little rocky, then they became good again, and then it became a little rocky. And I'm hoping that it becomes good again. But they're. They're not work partners. So this actually has nothing to do with the topic.

[B]

So topic today is, you know, John.

[A]

And I work together and sometimes we don't get along. And so today we're talking about just like work environments, maybe your co workers, maybe. Maybe you have a shitty boss. So let's dive in. Question 1. My manager acts very friendly with me all the time, reassuring me that I am very important to the team. But every year during promotions, she picks some other candidate and justifies it by saying if I don't promote him, slash her this year, they'll leave, so I must. She also suddenly starts mentioning how her own salary is even less than mine. She lives in a low income state, hence the difference. Sometimes equally or even less deserving people are getting ahead. And I'm stuck in this cycle of friendship but no growth at. Am I getting looked over? And if so, why?

[B]

She feels comfortable with you, so she's okay with putting you down. Not putting you down, but like, she's okay with, like, she's prioritizing. Yeah, yeah. Because she's worried about offending other people. So you're not a priority to her.

[A]

Well, it's kind of like when you can be mean to your mom because it's your mom, but, like, you're comfortable because you're comfortable. But then, like, you feel bad later because you're like, oh, my God, it's my mom and I love her so much.

[B]

She's comfortable with you, so she's okay with not, you know, not making you a priority. And she's worried about other people. And that's why. Just tell her, like, you're gonna quit.

[A]

Oh, I was just saying, like, at this point you've been, yes, you're getting looked over. She feels like you're not going anywhere because maybe she feels like you're loyal. Don't be loyal.

[B]

There you go. Don't be loyal.

[A]

Don't be loyal.

[B]

Speak your mind. Say something. But no, you're in the right to feel the way you do.

[A]

I just feel like in work environments, like, you have to be selfish. You do. This isn't a time to, like, care about.

[B]

All I know is you're not going to get. You're not going to get anything unless you ask for it.

[A]

The squeaky wheel gets the whale.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

That's. That's a saying, John.

[B]

The mouse gets the cheese. Next question.

[A]

Next question. It's like the early bird gets the worm, the mouse gets the cheese. It's not.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Mouse gets the cheese in the maze.

[A]

Next question. I work in a hospital and there is a PA who is very friendly and talks to pretty much everybody. He's flirty with me and we've gone out to dinner twice and hooked up once. Luckily, I didn't mention it to anybody at work the other day. I was at Work. And my co worker mentioned the PA's fiance. I was like, what? I had no idea he was engaged. And not only engaged, she also works in our hospital. I felt so dumb. Am I the asshole for hooking up with an engaged man whose fiance works with us?

[B]

Why would you think you're dumb if you didn't know?

[A]

Yeah, you did not know. So you're not the.

[B]

If anything, it's really win win for you, you know? You're like, h didn't know and I had fun and I still look like a good person.

[A]

Would you say something? If you worked at this hospital, would you say something?

[B]

No, probably not. Nope. I'd bury that deep down. Cuz that's.

[A]

Would you say something to him? The pa? If you hooked up with the pa, would you say something to him and you found out that he was engaged or whatever it was, you know, she.

[B]

I mean like, yo, what the was this? Yeah, we hooked up and you're engaged. Why would you do that? You better zip your mouth.

[A]

You have like, just like a glossier lip. Like your glitter is everywhere. Your hair. Your hair actually looks like you're gonna.

[B]

Hook up with me, Dave, and not tell me you're engaged.

[A]

This piece of ass.

[B]

This piece of ass right here. And you're just gonna throw me willy nilly to the wind? How dare you.

[A]

Next question.

[B]

I know my worth and you don't deserve none of it.

[A]

No, you tell him. Next question.

[B]

Yeah, you're good.

[A]

Yeah, you're not an asshole. That's the only question that you ask. Like we have.

[B]

Next question.

[A]

I just started a new job and I love most of the people. They're supportive, approachable, and friendly during downtime as well. However, there's another recent hire who loves to stop by my desk and chat. While I appreciate the sentiment, I'm trying to set a good tone in the new workplace. And I also have things to do. These unplanned chats are getting in the way and they always take longer than I have time for. How can I communicate that dropping by at their leisure isn't working out and that they should really just stay at their own desk? I'm struggling to find the balance between setting professional work boundaries and maintaining positive relationships with my co workers. And honestly, it's making me dread going into the office. Help.

[B]

Oh yeah, your co workers are going to hate you if you say something.

[A]

What the fuck? Because I know that I'm the type of person who's like, I'm going to make friends with everyone and let's Talk.

[B]

You're like, actually, I would hate you. That sounds horrible. But again, are you trying to, like, move up in the corporate ladder or whatever with this job?

[A]

There's a balance, okay? There's a balance of, like, you know, doing the yada yada, talky, talky with the people who you work with.

[B]

And then, yeah, yeah, talkie talkie.

[A]

And then again, you get your work. As long as you're getting your work done. That was like, one of my. The best parts about working jobs with other people is, like, forming the relationships, like, makes it less miserable.

[B]

True.

[A]

Who wants to just, like, put your head down and focus on your work?

[B]

That company doesn't give a shit about you. So nerd.

[A]

I'm just kidding. I would think you were a nerd.

[B]

Me?

[A]

No, the person who doesn't want to talk to me. But again, there is a balance. I understand, like, someone who's like, wasting your time because you're. You know, when I'm working and John comes up to me, I'm like, yo, off. I got shit to do.

[B]

I remember when I was a therapist, I used to, like, see how many chicken thighs I can eat at lunch. So I'd get a bag of. We, like, I always won.

[A]

What does this have to do with building relationships?

[B]

Oh, I get a bag of Uncle Ben's rice. Right.

[A]

But that was a personal goal for you. Did you bring in other. Other people and you were like, hey, Linda.

[B]

Actually, I think they just watched me eat it, but they didn't contribute to them.

[A]

But did everyone get their work done?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

See, if you were a distraction, but.

[B]

You need to have fun because your energy, they know. Patients know when I have good energy or not.

[A]

Right. But, like, if you're not having fun because you're focused on, like, the work that you need to do, that's a problem.

[B]

It was four chicken thighs. Four. Hear me out. It was a whole bag of rice, four chicken thighs. And I put into a wrap with the Frank's hot sauce. So I had four chicken thigh rice wraps.

[A]

Did you keep their refrigerator organized?

[B]

Fuck no, I didn't. Probably smell disgusting for my thighs.

[A]

Which ones?

[B]

Which all. Which thighs? Both.

[A]

We need to move on. Okay. I think that there's a little bit of a balance that you. As long as you're getting your work done, you know, maybe like, loosen up a little bit, like to take shimmy.

[B]

At your desk, take a shot while at the desk. Drink a little on the job.

[A]

You know, it's. You're working on other people's dime. As long as your other as long as you're getting your work done, it's fine.

[B]

Have a little. Yeah, have a little airplane bottle drawer.

[A]

Maybe not. You don't have to drink on the job. Next question. I had my baby girl on the 4th of July. I absolutely hated my job throughout my pregnancy and before. Honestly, due to poor management and their constant power tripping, I went back to work about a month ago as my maternity leave ended up. I absolutely dread being here and away from my girl. My husband and I both work from home so we could still care for her, but my work is now requiring me to have childcare in order to come back to work. They've put me on leave and given me a week to get childcare. Do I quit and be a stay at home mom or jump through their crappy hoops? Again, my husband and I can make it on one income with some budgeting.

[B]

I think you just answered it yourself.

[A]

Such a personal choice. If like that's what you want to do.

[B]

If that's if you could live within inside your means and you're okay with.

[A]

That, do that you or would you be rat? Yeah. Would you rather be miserable working at your job? Sounds like no.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Again, such a personal choice of what you want to do when it comes to staying at home, going back to work. Sounds like you're leaning towards being a stay at home mom. Like do it. If you could do it, do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Next question. I started this job two years ago when I first arrived and was getting to know everyone. This girl approached me and I wrongfully assumed she was Latina like me and said spoke Spanish to her. She took offense to that and has since ignored me making comments under her breath and fussing every time I need something from her. Work related. If I join conversations, she's in, she leaves and if there are lunch plans that I'm included, she doesn't join. She said in the past she hates being confused for a Mexican and that she finds that offensive. She's from another country, just not Mexico. I've tried apologizing and explaining that I was just excited to have someone to talk to in Spanish, but she acts annoyed and rolls her eyes. I've given up on trying to be anything but professional with her and I've never again assumed anything. But is she overreacting or am I missing something here?

[B]

If what you're saying is the truth and there's no other things that have been said, then yeah, she's overreacting. You apologize. Don't assume first Off. Like me when I assumed that lady was pregnant. And I did that and I was. I'm so embarrassed. I saw her yesterday, by the way.

[A]

How'd it go?

[B]

Fine. I was asking about like a goodwill drop off spot and she was like, tell me where to go. Awkward anyways for me. But she was cool, you know what I'm saying? Like, this chick being offended for this long, like it was an honest mistake. Don't assume. Right, but you apologize for it. Like, get the over it. You know how many times that I have been thought that people thought I was Hispanic? I've been in the grocery store, I'm in line, the guy in front of me, he's Hispanic and he can't communicate with the cashiers. And he leans over to me and starts speaking to me. I'm like, I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're saying.

[A]

See, but that's where like, I'm the opposite. I would love to be. I would love for someone to assume.

[B]

That I'm Spanish, you're Hawaii.

[A]

Like, speak to me in any other language and that.

[B]

Oh my God, like my tits are out.

[A]

Jesus, put it away. If you speak to me in any other language, like, to me, that is a compliment. I'm like, oh my God, you're speaking French to me. You're speaking Italian to me. Any language, Spanish. Get. Get the fuck out. Like I am. That is the biggest compliment. Unfortunately, the only language that I could speak fluently is English, but I could speak a little French.

[B]

Oui, oui. Okay, so either way, long story short, you know, you apologize for. Yeah, she's being a twat.

[A]

Yeah, you did nothing wrong.

[B]

Get the fuck over it.

[A]

You apologize. Yeah, she's just fucking. I wouldn't worry about this. This is her problem. You did what you were supposed to do. Apologize, I guess. Don't assume. But you can assume for me in the future. Yeah, you're fine. Next question. I, 24, female, am 10 months into my first engineering job. My manager, 40ish, male, works remotely abroad. He was traveling for work in Vegas and out of nowhere his wife texted. I have never seen her, met her, or talked to her before and have no clue how she found my personal phone number. She said that he had been missing for the past four hours and asked if I knew anything about him. For context, it was only 7pm in Vegas. Four hours and he's a fucking adult. I nicely said that I didn't know anything and that I wasn't on that trip either, which was true. I also said he probably was just at a work dinner, since it was still really early in Vegas and that I was sure that the company would have let her know if anything had happened. She kept insisting, insinuating that I was on the trip with him. I responded once more, letting her know that I didn't know anything and that he was most likely at a work dinner. And then I stopped responding. But now she clearly knows who I am, thinks I'm my manager. Ew. And is crazy enough to go all the way to texting me about it. My question is, where did she get my phone number from? Should I bring this up to my manager? I don't want to because that would be so awkward since nothing like this is. Is even remotely happening. But I fear she could bring it up in an argument and my manager would be upset that I didn't mention it. If. Yes, what should I say?

[B]

Yeah, definitely be like. I would be verbatim, like, hey, your wife thinks we're fucking.

[A]

I would 100% bring this up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If there's HR, bring it up to HR.

[B]

Bring it up to them first.

[A]

Yeah, bring it up to them first. If there's not, bring it. I would. I would want everyone to see the receipts.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I would tell other people.

[B]

Hiding makes it look even worse.

[A]

I was going to say. Yeah, not bringing it up is suspicious. So. No, I would absolutely bring awareness to this.

[B]

Do not go to him first. Definitely hr. Somebody else.

[A]

Someone else I would even bring it up to. Like, maybe his boss. Like, who's the higher up? And just be like, hey, I'm getting.

[B]

If he ever gave you flack, I'd be like, how the fuck dare you? Your wife is the one hitting me up. Who doesn't have my number. Don't know what you two are talking about. Behind closed doors. Don't know what you're doing, you know, when you're not with her. But don't fucking involve me with your personal life, bitch.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. But no, number one, I feel like this is a. This is a safety issue, too. Like, how did she get your number? Like, this is. Can you sue. Can you sue your job? This is a problem. This is a problem. I would bring. I would go to a higher up. Go to hr. Yeah, there's a lot of issues here. Privacy, security, annoyance. Next question. I'm a part time. Okay. Don't come at me if I pronounce this incorrectly. Equine photographer. Like equestrian. Equestrian, I'm assuming. Yes.

[B]

Why did I.

[A]

For horses.

[B]

I mean, that's impressive, right? That I Thought that too.

[A]

Well, I mean, equine is it? But is that the pronunciation for like equestrian? Anyway, so this person. I'm an equestrian photographer. Maybe that would have just been easier to say. Not a wedding photographer, but when a friend who lives states away but whose family is local moved her wedding up because her grandfather got sick, she asked if I would shoot it. We'd worked together before and I genuinely liked her, so I agreed. I told her repeatedly that weddings are not my specialty and that my turnaround time would be slower because I was only 12 weeks postpartum, back at work full time and keeping a newborn alive. She also reached out to a few of us who live in the area to help with other wedding stuff. She mentioned numerous times that she was on a tight budget, and my husband and I decided that our gift would be free. Free wedding photography. She and her new fiance flew in three days before the wedding. Meanwhile, our local friend group did everything. Grooming and landscaping the venue, hauling decor, creating the timeline, solving every crisis imaginable right up until they walked down the aisle. Wedding day happens, and despite the chaos, we pulled off a beautiful event. The couple expressed their gratitude. And that was that. Fast forward. I deliver her preview gallery and honestly, I was proud of them. They were exactly my style. A style she knows well from multiple shoots with me. She responded that the photos are good, but that my editing doesn't match her vibe and she kind of hates them. She had a friend re edit a few, so I did a full re edit to match her example.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

She then informed me that she hated those more and requested that I send her all the raw files so she could pay someone else to edit them. I told her I never release raws. They aren't a finished product and still represent my business. I explained that handing them to another photographer to profit from felt incredibly disrespectful, especially after everything we had done for this wedding. She flipped and accused me of holding her photos hostage, called me unprofessional, and posted her friends re edits without any credit. I tried to stay polite, offered to re edit again, and gave her a realistic timeline to finish her gallery. But when I said I felt disrespected and that she wasn't acting like a friend, she questioned my priorities, blocked me everywhere, and even unfriended me before blocking me because apparently we're in kindergarten. So am I the asshole for refusing to hand over the raw images of the wedding I shot for free, or am I being too nice by still working to finish her gallery at all Let me hear. Glinda, what are your thoughts?

[B]

I would by accidentally just erase all the photos.

[A]

Oops, gone, SD card got flushed down the toilet.

[B]

You did all this stuff for free? Even the venue and all that? Oh my God, that's so ass backwards. What a up person.

[A]

I. I hope and again, you're not the problem here. But like, I hope that you learned a lesson to just say no when people ask you to do something that is like outside of your specialty with expectations. Like, if someone were to ask me to shoot, like, I don't know, but.

[B]

Maybe she's trying to get into and be like, this could be a good test run. It's my friend, she'll be right.

[A]

It depends on the person who you're working with. And like, you set that expectation. Like, you let them know, like, this isn't my specialty. She's great. That's what I'm saying. You did let them know, which is what you want to do. But like in the wedding industry, we've always talked about that. Do not hire people outside of the wedding specialty because you're most likely going to be disappointed. And you gave that disclaimer. Disclaimer upfront. So like, this is on her. But if I were you, just to get this bitch off my back, I would charge a rate and say it is X amount of dollars for the raw footage. You can.

[B]

She's off your raw. She's gone.

[A]

True, she blocked you on everything. But like, that would have been my solution because when we had RAW files, we also never gave raw files away, but we would charge extra because if people wanted them, I got it. Like, and you know what? You can't control what people do with them as much as you want to. Be like, you can't re edit these. You can't post them without my. Without crediting my business or whatever. You really can't control what other people do. And you could take them to court or whatever and like use legal as a threat. But at the end of the day, like, do you want a happy client? Do you want a friend? Do you want. And this isn't a friend to you. You're not holding them hostage. She just has to pay for them. That's it.

[B]

Again, not just erase them all. And again, you don't have to talk to her ever again. Like, I wouldn't want to be friends with that person, someone to be that inconsiderate of the work you did for them. And they just brush past that because they didn't get what they wanted. Be like, bitch, you could have paid. You want a certain caliber, caliber, caliber, caliber of work. You know I've never done it before. I shoot don't be cheap and hire somebody. Self entitled little shit.

[A]

But it's always the ones who get a discount, you know?

[B]

True. The cheaper the client, the more work it is.

[A]

And if they're your friend, like hot take a friend should be paying for your business to support your business.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You don't have to be again. I guess you gifted it. You said you would do it for free, but there's Even if you did.

[B]

As the friend, as the client, I would have paid that person either way.

[A]

Yeah, we have friends. And I'm like, I'm paying you because this is your service. Thank you so much. But no, you're not the asshole. But I do think you're being too nice. You could do what I said and offer to for her to pay for them. Or you could do a John said and just crack that hard drive in half.

[B]

Which is. Yeah, because she already unfriended you. Blocked you lots of it. Seems like you don't ever have to talk to her again.

[A]

Oh, also they were nice and they gave a summary for you. Summary for John. I shot a friend's wedding for free. 12 weeks, blah blah blah, blah blah.

[B]

So nice.

[A]

Yeah, but you, you followed along for that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Next question. My husband and I, 5050 own an electrical contracting company we built together. I run the office, he runs the field. Three years ago I made friends with the mom at my kids dance class. We did hikes, play dates, et cetera. I learned that her husband, an electrician, was looking to partner in business. We used him on side jobs and chatted about working together. We hired him with the potential of a partnership. There were no red flags. One month in, I noticed discrepancies in his time and missing items from the work van he drove. Turns out he'd been stealing parts and and time adjusting his timesheets by about 1.5 hours more per pay period than the other employees working the same jobs. I have receipts. It wasn't forgetfulness. I hosted two sit down staff meetings with proper time tracking and lunch breaks. Two weeks later it was still happening. We confronted him to fire him. He begged, claimed ignorance, said we told him he could adjust his time, claim he needed the job and couldn't be fired. We gave him one week probation. He tracked time correctly but slacked off on jobs, talked shit about us and tried to get other employees to quit. So we fired him. More begging more. I need this job. And we're friends. Ugh. We gave him two weeks to find another job, and I still regret it. After he was done, my friend, who is his wife, blocked me on social media, unfollowed me, and ghosted me. I reached out, thinking she must not know what happened and deserved to. I texted asking if she was okay and if she knew what actually went down. She replied that we're not friends and I don't owe her anything, but also to stop contacting her. I didn't tell her because her text made it obvious she wasn't interested in hearing it. So am I the asshole for how I handled this? And more importantly, would I be the asshole if I texted her again to tell her exactly what her dickwad husband did, even though she asked me not to?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I would just send her exactly verbatim what went down. So she has it. Whether she responds back to you or not, but at least she has it. I mean, you should know the partner of the person is always going to defend them for the most part. So don't be shocked that she blocked you or ignored you and doesn't want to hear your side of the story. As long as you did everything by the book, legally, I think you did everything correct. I think you gave him too many chances. But I don't know. Every state's different, like, at will hiring or whatever. So as long as you did it legally, you should be fine.

[A]

So you think she should send a text either way and say what happened? At this point, yeah.

[B]

I hope I bring turmoil to their relationship for sure. That guy's a prick. He disrupted your business. He tried getting other people to quit your job. All he did was bring anguish to your lives and more difficulty. Fudge that guy.

[A]

Right? But I just don't think it's, like, even worth wasting your breath. She obviously is okay. I just think she obviously is going to side with her husband because it would.

[B]

In my brain, I'd be like, do you think I'm the problem?

[A]

But you don't need other people to. Are you going to, like, try to, like, put out every fire of, like, people talking shit about you? Like, just, like, prove your point?

[B]

No, sorry, Alex, I'm not putting out a fire. I'm adding gas to the fire.

[A]

I know that's what you.

[B]

What are you going to put. Put out the fire? No, I. I hope. I hope you get the text and you're just always going to be, like, in the back of your mind, like, maybe they were right about him. His true colors are going to show anyways. Dump gas on that fire. Let it burn.

[A]

I guess I'm just like, who cares? Like, why are you even.

[B]

Why do you feel better?

[A]

Will it though? Like, yeah, will it? Because she's not going to respond.

[B]

Hot take too many people. This is why people go to therapy too, because they let stuff build up and build up and then they go crazy and they. And they feel some type of way. Oh, little off your chest. I feel great about myself. I let everything off the chest and I don't have to worry about anything. Like, stop burying stuff.

[A]

So you think it's better to like, get your grievances out there, let her know and. Oh, yeah, but I'm the opposite. I'm just like, no, I don't think that this will make you feel better because she's already out of me. Showed you who she is and like, whose side she's taking. Why even waste any more energy on this? Like, you know the truth.

[B]

You know, seeing though how different perspective because you like wasting energy. I think that's filling my cup, baby. I feel so much better. It's not draining. It's bringing up if maybe you were.

[A]

Like a really close friend with this person. But was she your best friend? Like, did you think she was your best friend to. According to her, you're not friends and you don't owe her anything and to stop contacting her. And I would just leave it at that. Like, you have your side of the truth and like you should be at peace knowing that. That's just. That's just me, though.

[B]

Next question. You know my answer. That's it?

[A]

Yeah, that's it. That's all she wrote.

[B]

No secrets.

[A]

No, we do have a secret. I'm married. But little by little, I want out. My husband spends all of our money. We can't save anything because he's always purchasing something. There's more to it. But it started to make me feel less attracted to him. And I find myself thinking about someone else who. Who I've never even met just to get through it. I know, I know it sucks. I'm trying to work through it and be direct how I feel, but I need a better paying job to support myself and my kids if I leave. So for now, I'm stuck.

[B]

It's kind of a weak secret. Yeah. I mean, you have fantasy, whatever.

[A]

She just hates her marriage and she wants out.

[B]

But yeah, I don't blame you.

[A]

I'm sure a lot of people have that secret. You know, they hate their marriage.

[B]

I wonder what. What's the imaginary Guy look like.

[A]

Okay, what's your wreck, John?

[B]

Did I ever say my wreck of tomb?

[A]

Probably. You definitely have.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

Yes, you have. Garlic bread.

[B]

So good. No, Tomb is so good.

[A]

No, move on.

[B]

Okay, how about. Okay, hold on. Did I ever recommend the glass bassinet thing in the hospital? What? I think the best thing I wish I had at the house is that you remember when Lucy was born, they put her in that, like, glass thing.

[A]

The, like, plastic see through bassinet.

[B]

Yes, the rolling and then rolling and then underneath drawers.

[A]

John. Like infants fit. And not even infants. Literally only teeny tiny, just recently born babies fit in that. It's not.

[B]

Yeah, but it's a really good thing. I mean, I loved it because I could just see right into.

[A]

Only had it for.

[B]

Okay, so I can't do tomb. I can't do clear bassinet in the hospital with a drawer. The only thing I have is non. Non. Stretch swaddles. No, no, I meant to say stretch swaddles. You know, like that stretchy material.

[A]

Yeah. You like those?

[B]

I like those.

[A]

That's what you want. Not. Not the swaddles that don't have.

[B]

I cannot wait to take this off my body. What's your wreck? Oh, God. Hurry up.

[A]

Oh, actually, my wreck is skims. Skims nursing bras. They've really been so nice and, like, the support of them. They're like one of the best nursing bras that I've had. That's one. The little clip I've tried. Well, all nursing bras have a little bit of a clip. Like, they're. I've tried a lot of brands, and these are up there as, like, my top favorite. I feel like I can't get words out. I know today or any day these days, what's happening. I feel like my brain is actually.

[B]

Turning into hocus pocus season.

[A]

It is. But anyway, skims nursing bras are just, you know, that's it. I think we're good for the day.

[B]

A prosciutto.

[A]

We're good for the day. All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning in.

[B]

Like, subscribe, email, comment, do all the.

[A]

Things you want to. Follow us. You can find us everywhere at Give it to Me Straight podcast. If you want to send us an anonymous note, you could do so in our show notes or on our website. And if you want to email us, you could reach [e-mail] and we'll see you next week.

[B]

Ciao. Ciao. Bye.

[A]

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