79. Giving you thanksgiving, family photos, and nosy questions

Summary

Podcast Summary: “Give It To Me Straight” – Episode 79

Title: Giving you thanksgiving, family photos, and nosy questions
Date: November 25, 2025
Hosts: Alex & John (Dear Media)

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Overview

In this candid and humorous husband-wife episode, Alex and John dive into the chaos of new parenthood while tackling Thanksgiving traditions, family dynamics around holidays, nosy questions, and listener-submitted dilemmas. With their trademark banter, honesty, and unfiltered advice, they touch on sleep training, being thankful, setting boundaries, and why boundaries (and not letting your mother-in-law feed your baby chocolate syrup) matter. The episode is rich with relatable moments for millennial parents and anyone navigating family gatherings.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Parent Sleep Training Woes

• [03:09–07:06] Alex shares their attempt at sleep training Lucy, their infant daughter:
  • Pediatrician’s advice: Lucy no longer needs nighttime feeds, try letting her self-soothe for 5–20 minutes.
  • Alex: “I set a timer for five minutes. Hardest five minutes of my life. Poor Alex crying.” (04:54)
  • They tried “cry it out” for one night; Alex found it distressing and couldn’t continue.
  • Adapted: Instead of feeding, Alex pats Lucy to sleep—sometimes on the belly, sometimes absent-mindedly on the head.
  • Result: Lucy started sleeping six-hour stretches. Both admit—parenting choices aren’t “one size fits all.”

2. On Ads, Content Creation & Livelihood

• [07:21–09:10] John addresses complaints about ads:
  • John: “Just so you know for the future, we’re probably gonna average between 5 and 7 ads that we read every episode... Why do you think I want to do this for free?” (07:43)
  • Both discuss the misconception that content creators shouldn’t make money and compare podcast ads to billboards.
  • Takeaway: Ads keep content sustainable; they aim to make them entertaining.

3. Gratitude Check-In: What Alex & John Are Thankful For

• [09:10–13:28] Heartfelt, vulnerable sharing:
  • John: Thankful for chemistry with Alex and "being friends first" in their marriage.
  • Alex: Thankful for health, having Lucy after losing their first baby Leo, and the support system/family.
  • Memorable quote:
    • Alex: “I want to start off from the top and say that I’m thankful for health. I feel like that truly is number one... After losing Leo, I don’t think I can ever or would ever take that for granted.” (11:19)

4. Listener Submissions: What Are You Thankful For?

• [22:34–26:58] Alex reads thankfulness from listeners:
  • Touching, funny, and light-hearted entries (IVF success, surviving a deployment, king-size beds, living in Hawaii with two Goldens).
  • John questions if constant beautiful weather would “make you feel guilty if you don’t go outside and enjoy the sunshine every day?” (25:20)
  • Discuss Finland vs. Hawaii, climate, and happiness statistics.

5. Holiday Boundaries & Nosy Family Questions

• [44:26–47:03] Listener Q1:
  • How to handle the “when are you having kids?” question after a miscarriage.
    • Alex: “I always answered, ‘We’re still practicing.’” (44:39)
    • They advise—be honest if you wish, or use humor to shut it down; you don’t owe relatives explanations.

6. Navigating Family Opinions & “Conspiracy” Theories

• [47:03–52:36] Listener Q2:
  • What to do when a relative (mother-in-law) tries to teach your kids her “flat earth” beliefs.
    • John: “You cut like you could talk to me about whatever you want, but when it comes to my kids, you’re going to follow this structure.” (48:10)
    • They suggest boundaries—with the husband speaking to his mother, not the daughter-in-law.

7. Sibling Drama & Switzerland Strategy

• [52:36–54:20] Listener Q3:
  • Pregnant listener’s sisters are feuding; family gatherings are tense.
    • Alex and John advise: “Not your problem!” Stay neutral, focus on your pregnancy and happiness.

8. Managing Parents’ Holiday Expectations

• [54:20–56:48] Listener Q4:
  • Parents insist on celebrating holidays on the official day; daughter feels pressured.
    • Advice: Set boundaries. John says: “No one should have access to you whenever they want.” (55:55)
    • It’s okay to prioritize your new family.

9. Excluding Mom from Family Photo?

• [57:48–59:14] Listener Q5:
  • Father-in-law wants photos of son and grandkids, but not daughter-in-law, for his living room.
    • Alex is outraged: “I fucking made her. I’m gonna be in this photo!” (58:34)
    • Advice: You have the right to feel hurt. Be assertive—center yourself in the photo.

10. Travel with In-Laws Overload

• [60:33–66:22] Listener Q6:
  • Spouse’s parents want to join nearly every vacation.
    • Advice: Split trips—include parents on short ones, reserve the “big trip” for just you two. Use a compliment sandwich to say no.

11. Mother-in-Law Holiday Grievances (Overreaction?)

• [66:59–72:14] Listener Q7:
  • Mother-in-law neither helps nor feeds listeners’ child appropriate food, and fails to cook or host sufficiently on Halloween.
    • John and Alex think this is an overreaction, empathize more with the mother-in-law, and point out self-sabotage.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Babies & Sleep
  “It was like 4am...to feed Lucy and you go, ‘What time does everything open?’...I knew you were really trying to say, like, what time did Lucy eat last.”
  —Alex [01:41]

• On Ad Complaints “We have a daughter now who we need to send to college one day. Okay?”
  —Alex [07:52]

• On Marriages After Kids
  “People talk about...the spark going away after you have a kid or getting really hard...I just feel like this season of life has just been so—we’re tired—but it’s been so much fun.”
  —Alex [09:56]

• On Family Photos
  “If someone was like, I want a picture of your daughter and not you, I’d be like, who the F? She’s mine. I f***ing made her.”
  —Alex [35:00, recapped at 58:34]

• On Setting Boundaries
  “No one should have access to you whenever they want...That’s why [Woody Harrelson] doesn’t have a cell phone.”
  —John [55:55]

• On Holiday Drama
  “Just pop your popcorn, put it on your pregnant belly, and just enjoy the show.”
  —Alex [53:47]

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Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• [03:09–07:06] — Sleep Training Struggles
• [09:10–13:28] — What Are Alex & John Thankful For?
• [22:34–26:58] — Sharing Unique Listener Gratitudes
• [44:26–47:03] — Handling Nosy Family Questions (Miscarriage)
• [47:03–52:36] — Boundaries with Conspiratorial Relatives
• [52:36–54:20] — Sister Drama: To Intervene or Not?
• [57:48–59:14] — Being Left Out of the Family Photo
• [66:59–72:14] — “Mother-in-law Ruined My Daughter’s Halloween” (Hosts rage at overreaction)

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Tone & Style

This episode embodies Alex and John’s conversational, sarcastic, and occasionally irreverent tone. They’re not afraid to throw in an f-bomb, poke fun at each other, or challenge listener complaints—especially if they think someone is being unreasonable. At the same time, they’re compassionate on heavier issues (loss, boundaries, parenting stress), openly reflect on their own growth, and take time to encourage gratitude.

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Recommendations & Closing

• Products Mentioned:

  • Momcozy Electric Nasal Aspirator (for baby boogers)
  • TV Show: All Her Fault on Peacock
  • Movie: The Martian

• Sign-off Advice:

  • Set boundaries for your own happiness.
  • “Don’t feel guilty. Prioritize your family and your sanity.”
  • Be thankful for the supporters and silent, non-complainers.

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Final Note: For more candid advice and humor, follow Alex and John on their podcast socials, or submit your own dilemmas for future episodes. And remember: If you’re hungry on Halloween, go to a steakhouse—don’t wait for grandma to feed you.

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Happy Thanksgiving from Give It To Me Straight!

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

If someone was like, I want a picture of your daughter and not you, I'd be like, who the F? She's mine. I fucking made her. I'm going to be in this photo because she is crazy. Absolutely not. So, yeah, if someone, like, if your family wanted a photo with Lucy, I'd be like, no. You can have a photo then with just John. I'm taking my daughter.

[B]

And welcome back to Give it to me straight.

[A]

I'm Alex.

[B]

And I'm John. And I'm your gracious. And we are your gracious, gracious host.

[A]

I almost forgot how the intro went. I was like, what's. What do we say next? We got sleep last night, but I'm. I feel like I just got hit by a bus. Yeah. I'm so tired.

[B]

I'm feeling pretty good.

[A]

Good for you. I'm so happy for you.

[B]

If we started this like an hour earlier, I would have been even more ready to go. But, you know, I'll take what I can.

[A]

I think I just have like 18, 000 things on my brain that I'm like, I just can't be in the moment.

[B]

Zero.

[A]

That's so nice. I would love to have zero things on my brain. My God.

[B]

You just. What you have to do is just block it out, you know, just like.

[A]

Not think about anything.

[B]

Yeah, just like, low stress.

[A]

It was. Was it last night or the night before that? It was like 4am or 3am I woke up to feed Lucy and you go, what time does everything open? And I'm like, what, John? And you're like, what time do they open? What time does everything open? And I knew that you were really trying to say, like, what time did Lucy eat last?

[B]

And I knew that out of it at some point. It was like, what was I saying? That's so funny.

[A]

I was like, what were you doing.

[B]

One of those titties. One of those titties open is probably what I was trying to say. When are they open for business?

[A]

When do they close? They're closed. Happy Thanksgiving.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Thanksgiving is coming up. I do it.

[B]

I like Thanksgiving.

[A]

I was gonna say, is it like one of your favorite holidays or like, where did. Oh, no, I don't have. What? Fourth of July is your favorite holiday?

[B]

It's not like I don't have favorite holidays. Every day is the same to me. It's fine. Like, Thanksgiving is cool. I like, know eating and hanging out with people.

[A]

I think since meeting you because you always worked on the holidays, being an occupational therapist, like, holidays on the day, I don't want to say lost its meaning, but it just felt less again.

[B]

The day doesn't matter to me as.

[A]

Long as another day.

[B]

Do something and spend time with people. That's great.

[A]

Well, now that we work for ourselves, we really never know what day it is. I'm like, oh, people are supposed to have off of work today. Who knew? Sorry.

[B]

The perks and the curse of having your own business, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But no, Lucy, sleep. Okay, so we could say this now. We made an attempt at sleep training, I guess, and we made an attempt.

[A]

It didn't go well. I cried.

[B]

So our pediatrician first off was like, I don't know if we talked about this. You need to stop feeding her well.

[A]

He was basically like, she's well fed. She's healthy. Because she's in a higher percentile for, like, height, weight. What is she, like, 80th?

[B]

Her head was 90th. Her head was in the 90th percentile.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Think about me. Okay? So she has been eating plenty. And he was like, there's no need for her to wake up every two to three hours in the middle of the night to eat. But I was like, that's the only way that she'll go back to bed. And he was like, he's basically. She's basically using you to soothe, to. To eat, to go back to sleep. And he was like, just let her cry for a little bit. You can be right next to her. Just, like, try to ignore her for, like, five minute increments. And he was like, but do it up for 20. Do it up to 20 minutes. And I was like, that sounds actually in the moment. I was like, oh, we could do that.

[B]

I was like, I'm. I'm not gonna be able to.

[A]

Yeah. John makes eye contact with me and he goes, no. And I'm like, john, we need sleep. Like, whatever it will take. So night one. And again, I think people have very different opinions on sleep training. So we're not torturing our daughter over here, okay?

[B]

We're just listening to the advice of the expert, the pediatrician. I'm not making my own assumptions of what's good, what's nice. And he's like, stop feeding her.

[A]

Stop feeding her. He's like, she's fine. So she wakes up, she starts getting fussy, and John and I just like roll over and stare at each other. And we're just like trying to be quiet.

[B]

Also, we're. He said you can feed her as much during the day. We feed her as much as she wants. We're starving her. It's just at night. Windows.

[A]

She's the chunkiest little girl. She' so cheeky. I love her. And so she starts crying. I set a timer for five minutes. Hardest five minutes of my life. Poor Alex crying. But we made it to like 12, 15 minutes of like. And then like soothing her. And that was one night. And then we did it the next night. She slept for like an extra hour the following night. And then now she sleeps for six hours.

[B]

Well, I should say we, we stopped doing sleep training altogether.

[A]

Yeah. Because I was like, I can't. I don't want to do that.

[B]

We did it one night and it's like one day. Nope. So then we. What we just ended up doing was the goal was to not feed her. So you would soothe her back to sleep. Basically, yeah.

[A]

So I'm like half asleep, like patting her in her bassinet. I'm like, it's okay, like just patting her belly. And then I'm so tired. At one point I realize I'm just patting her on the head, tapping her in the head. But I'm so proud of her. I don't know if it's because she's. I'm proud of. Turned a corner. No, Well, I just mean her because like, she went from waking up every two to three hours to now she's sleeping six hour stretches.

[B]

I feel the only reason she started doing that though was because we made some sort of adjustment, like to all these things you have to do. You think that they're going to be easy from an outside looking as like, oh, when we didn't have a parent, I'm like, what's the problem? Sell to them, what's the big deal? Or oh, now you put them in the crib. Like, that's not a big deal. These are actually really huge moments and it's really really hard for the parent.

[A]

Yeah, well, because before you have a kid, you don't think that you'll love your. Not that you don't think you'll love your kids so much, but you think it will be easier. But then when you actually have them, you're so attached to this little thing, and you're like, I want to do anything to make you more comfortable. I don't want you to be uncomfortable, and I want you to cry. I don't want you to feel scared.

[B]

But also, the changes that are happening. I'm like, this. This is happening too fast.

[A]

Yeah. But I've never seen her happier. Like, she wakes up now, I think, more well rested than she had been waking up every two hours. And she is so expressive.

[B]

But she's also getting older. You know, she'll be, well when this is out, what, 11 weeks old. But I don't know.

[A]

I felt like it was a night and day change. It was like she was fussy and. And she was never really cranky.

[B]

But, like, I think it's all about your bowels, too. Like your intestines and, like, gastrointestinal, because, like, trying to figure that out. And she's so gassy.

[A]

She's not gassy anymore.

[B]

Anyways, I want to address the elephant in the room because this is more triggering to me than anyone. Just, like, talking about me or whatever. Guys, the podcast. I know we have ads. We read ads. We're gonna. Just. So you know, for the future, we're probably gonna average between 5 and 7 ads that we read every episode. And, you know, why do you think I want to do this for free? Is this that much fun where I'm like, let's get up, let's get ready, let's set up the cameras, let's shoot the podcast.

[A]

Guys, we have a daughter now who we need to send to college one day. Okay.

[B]

Who's. Who actually thinks, like, they're doing this just for solely fun.

[A]

The one. We'll get, like, one comment a week, but every time, John's like, jesus Christ.

[B]

What do people think?

[A]

This is our job. This is how we keep the show going. I'm like, I know, I know.

[B]

This is how we get paid. Yeah, that's like, I can't wait to just, you know, you know, wake up in the morning.

[A]

Interesting, because as content creators, like, I remember doing our first ad when we first started doing videos on TikTok for. For. We did an ad for an exchange of a phone case, and someone was like, sell out. And I was like, I didn't even make $1 from this. It was an exchange for a phone case. But I mean, I thought it was just so fun because I was like, oh, my God, we made it at that point. But in my brain and ever since then, I was like, you drive down a highway and you see billboards. Are you now like, I'm not going to fucking drive down this highway. I'm going to look up advertising to me. You know what? We try to make them as entertaining for you as possible. At least if you're watching on YouTube, we, you know, do a little bit of a charade. But, like, we love our partners who we work with on our social side and our digital campaigns or in our podcast. And you know what, you're supporting us. And if you don't want to move.

[B]

Along anyway, so, you know, we're going to have ads. Get over it.

[A]

And we're thankful for everyone who listens and doesn't complain about them. So. Speaking of things we're thankful for, John, what are you thankful for this season?

[B]

I had to write it down so I wouldn't forget.

[A]

Oh, you can't just, like, think of it from your heart?

[B]

I mean, I know the one. The one. Specifically one. But I'm going to leave that. I am very thankful for. One hour chemistry. I'm thankful for our chemistry because I think doing this podcast, for example, and hearing about people's problems and their relationship, you know, concerns. I just think we're very fortunate and lucky that, like, you know, we've. We've. We've had our own struggles and we've. We've grown and just like, we're so. Such a good unit. And like, I, I based off of these questions, like, it's rare. It seems like it's rare.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like that boils down to, honestly, us being friends first. Like, all of that other stuff comes after because we work together 24 7. And I'm like, I. Or people, I guess, talk about too, like, the spark going away, like, after you have a kid or getting really hard. I don't know. I just feel like this season of life has just been so. We're tired, but I feel like it's just been so much fun. But I think it's because we're doing it together as husband and wife who are at our core, friends.

[B]

You have to have similar, like, hobbies and stuff. Like, just.

[A]

I don't think that's it. No, you have to enjoy things.

[B]

Have to enjoy doing things together. Because if you don't both, like, the Same thing. Like you're doing more apart.

[A]

But we don't. Like, it's not 100% like, because again, I have girl friendships who. We have very different hobbies. Or you and I. Like, you like to play video games at the end of the night. Like, I don't. And so I just think that there's. It's more personality based. Like we're friends at our core and then everything else is after that.

[B]

Sure, yeah. I mean, I agree that. Anyways, that's one thing. Next thing, obviously. Lucy. I am so thankful for Lucy. What a. My. A mind shift for me. And just like it's made me. It made. It's made me. My heart. Like my heart's exposed. Like, I'm just so much happier now. I'm like a different. I just feel different. And I'm like a sensitive Sally now. It's disgusting.

[A]

I want to start off from the top and say that I'm thankful for health. I feel like that truly is number one. If you don't have like your health, you don't have anything. But ultimately, I mean, Lucy obviously, like just being able to have. Go through a healthy pregnancy and then a healthy delivery birth and like her being healthy now, I just. After losing Leo, I don't think I can ever or would ever take that for granted. You know, Like, I. That that's everything. Just being healthy, having a healthy experience. Because no matter where you are in life, if you don't have that, you have nothing. And that's like I always, I always think of it about it when like, you get like a little sick or like you hurt yourself. And then you're like, I never realized how much I used my finger. Like, if you hurt your finger or some. And then you're like, damn, I will never take my finger for granted again.

[B]

I think about that with like my eyes because I'm always scrolling and stuff. I'm like, look up. Just look off your phone. Like, look at the view. Like, look looking out our window. Like appreciating where we live or. Or like the mountains or.

[A]

Oh my God. I think about that too. After getting Lasik, I had horrible vision. I mean, I had negative. I was negative seven in both eyes. And if you have bad vision, you know that you can't see with that number. After getting Lasik, I was like, holy. But now I've had it for a few years at this point already, and I'm like, I forget about that. That. That is a blessing to have. So just health overall, I feel like it's truly a. Truly a blessing. I think also after having Lucy, being around family has been super helpful. Like your parents coming to visit, like my parents being local, everyone being so supportive. I feel like we have really just a helpful community in order to be able to continue to do what we do. You know, obviously the support of you and our relationship. But I. Yeah, I just. Lucy has really like changed us this year and I'm just so thankful that she's here and healthy and thriving and alive. And I'm excited to see what 2026 has in store for us. But yeah, just feeling very blessed for all the things that that's what sleep will give you.

[B]

Blessed feeling blessed.

[A]

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still exhausted, but it's all worth it.

[B]

Speaking of ads, this podcast is sponsored by AG1. Being a new dad has totally changed how I think about my mornings. I don't have time for anything complicated. I just want to feel good and be ready for the day. With the holidays, you, darker mornings and routines all over the place, finding a simple wellness habit has been huge for me. That's why I've been loving AG1. I use this and you should too. One scoop once a day, mix it with water and boom. I'm doing something that supports whole body health before I even grab my coffee. It has antioxidants, probiotics and functional mushrooms to support the body's natural defenses. And the B vitamins give me steady energy support without that crash. Very necessary for the dad life. Plus, with all the travel and snacking this time of year, it helps fill those everyday nutrition gaps with a the full spectrum of micronutrients from whole Foods and the prebiotics, probiotics and enzymes support gut resilience. It's honestly the easiest thing I've stayed consistent with. If you want the free foundational routine, head to drink ag1.com straight to get a free welcome kit with an AG1 flavor sampler and a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe. That's drinkag1.com straight this episode is also.

[A]

Brought to you by Aura Frames, which I do have to say that was. What was it? Our first ever partnership. Maybe one of them. One of the first ever when we started making TikToks. Love Aura frames. Gifted it to my grandma. She still uses it to this day. It is her.

[B]

My parents have one too.

[A]

Yeah OR frames are amazing and I'm the mom who takes a million photos of Lucy. So where do I need to put them Aura Frames Every little smile, every alpha change, every first everything. And I can't go more than three weeks without rearranging the house because I want our space to feel like us. So when we found or frames, it was game over for the static picture frame Life. Aura, pronounced or Ra by the way, is a digital frame that lets me add unlimited free photos and videos right from my phone. Just by using the Aura app and wi fi, I'm literally updating the vibe of my living room every day. One minute it's Lucy in a onesie and the next it's my whole camera roll from the pumpkin patch. No more choosing one photo to frame forever. I get to display all of my favorites. And as someone who loves gifting thoughtful gifts, especially ones that don't create clutter, this is the perfect holiday gift. You could preload photos before it even ships and add a message so that it arrives already personal. Plus, every frame comes in a premium gift box with no price tag, which is a total win for presentation. I'm giving one to my parents this year. Mom, stop listening. So they could get fresh Lucy picks. And every single day, even when we're not there, you can't wrap togetherness, but you can frame it. And right now it's the best time to buy it. For a limited time, visit Aura frames and get $45 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Straight at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code straight. This exclusive, exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year. So order right now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. But seriously, upgrade your decor, show off your favorite memories and win the holidays. Aura Frames is it and this podcast.

[B]

Is sponsored by Clean Safe Products. I love cooking, but I'm also the type of cook who somehow gets sauce everywhere. And Alex loves her wine. And sometimes the couch does too. And Kobe's dirty paws. And maintaining nice furniture feels impossible. That's why we are all in on Clean Safe Products and their Green Mitt Kit. The Green Mitt Kit from Clean Safe Products is the easiest way to keep your fabrics looking brand new in five minutes or less. The process is super simple. Spray the solution, wipe, rinse the mat, repeat. If you can clean a kitchen counter, you can clean your couch. It works on carpets, couches, car seats, the rug under Lucy's high chair, and even those dry clean only fabrics we pretend don't exist. And it's non toxic Fragrance free. Made with just three ingredients. So I'm not worried about spraying it on our couch or where Alex sets her wine glass before she knocks it over again.

[A]

You know what's crazy, John? You're the one who usually spills the wine. Lies on me.

[B]

Lies. Because it's so free. There's no sticky residue. Stains don't come back the next day. Like, hey, remember me? And one bottle of concentrate makes up to 16 full size bottles, so this thing lasts forever. Plus, there's a 30 day money back guarantee, no questions asked. So if you don't love it, send it back. But trust me, you're going to love it. Go to cleansafeproducts.com straightenow to get $15 off the green mitt kit. That's cleansafeproducts dot com straight for $15 off the world's easiest soft surface cleaning solution. Because in our house, the spills are guaranteed. The panic doesn't have to be. Speaking of Lucy, per usual, knowing my strengths and weaknesses with Lucy, Bath time. I'm not good at it. I went in there. I just want to. I always want to be around. Because I told Alex this earlier today, I. And I feel so. I feel sorry for people who have to work outside of the house. Like, I understand, like, how you can miss little milestones so easily if you're not around. And so, like, if you're doing bath time, like, I still want to be there. I'm like supervising. I'm sous chefing. I'm bringing. That's what I'm saying. I went to. I go, I'm gonna help. This was a whole clusterfuck. Now I know I'm never gonna do it again. I go, alex, I'm gonna pick her up out of her chair so you can wash her back, blah, blah. And I just made a whole disaster out of it. That didn't work out. I also turned and I stepped on Alex's foot and I crushed her pinky toe. And then I went to grab the towel. And then Alex goes to put Lucy in my arms with a towel and I didn't wrap her enough and she got cold. I'm like, joe, this not my moving parts.

[A]

Yeah, I think because I've just been doing it on my own with her at night. I have a system. And so when you come in, I'm just like, oh, I'm just the cleanup.

[B]

Crew of the system. I'm like, oh, you got her. Let me clean out the tub.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. But I wonder if that's. If that has Actually helped her bedtime routine as well, because someone in the comments has said that where they were, like, I started giving my son a bath every night. And so we started implementing that, feeding her more. And I.

[B]

The big question is that I asked you, and you said it doesn't matter, is if you wash them every night, if you use soap, like, I heard you're not supposed to wash them every night.

[A]

I mean, I have heard mixed things. It's like kind of like whatever you want to do, but we moisturize your skin. Speaking of. It's getting so cold.

[B]

I feel like I just licked my hands.

[A]

Why do you lick your hands?

[B]

My knuckles are so dry. So I. I lick them to like.

[A]

John, we're on camera. This is going to dry them out more. You have like. Like saliva and what do I. What am I saying? Not sodium. Like salt in your saliva.

[B]

It's just gonna. Sodium salt.

[A]

I know, but, like, what's like. I'm not. I don't know. Your saliva is just gonna dry out your skin more, I would assume. And that's also fucking disgusting on top of that. But yeah, I just feel my. This time of year, my skin, my lips are so chapped. Everything is just getting dry and crusty. Lucy, though, not her. She's well and moisturized.

[B]

Oh, my God. Moving aside from Lucy, I need to say an apology to Liam Hemsworth.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Because after finishing. You didn't finally.

[A]

You didn't know.

[B]

Finishing Horror Games Part 2, he did have a little monologue. And you know what? Power to you, buddy.

[A]

I wonder if he made more money if he was like, listen, more lines, more money. I'm coming in. I've been doing this for three years and I've only had two lines. Yeah, the last movie, he did have a lot of lines. He had a bigger part.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I still just like the relationship.

[B]

But that love trial, I mean, look, it's for kids. It's PG13 or whatever. But like, him and Peter talking about, like. But the kiss she gave you versus the kiss. I. I'd be like, what? Yeah, come on.

[A]

It's very. I mean, I guess when.

[B]

Kiss.

[A]

I guess when, like, you're fighting for love in those circumstances, that's all that's given you hope. But I was just dying laughing when he's like, she's gonna choose who she's gonna.

[B]

On three. Your Team PETA or Team Liam? One.

[A]

Hold on. Wait. I actually have to think about it, because don't tell me.

[B]

Ready? One, two, three. Team Liam. Yeah. Peter ended up being a little Bitch at the end.

[A]

And he tried to kill her, like, 18,000 times. I'd be like, as soon as. As soon as you're brainwashed, I'm never trusting again.

[B]

Well, he did. Liam ended up, like, killing her daughter or sister, technically, I guess, in the last one.

[A]

That's. Maybe that's why they did it, so they knew that the audience could be on. Yeah, like, okay, there's no question here. Not me and you.

[B]

Choke you out. But.

[A]

But, like, that's a little kinky sometimes. Yeah, yeah. Like. But, like, Liam killed your brother, your sister.

[B]

I'm just glad coin got it. Got God at the end.

[A]

The lady, the President.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also, to go backwards, we spoke about what we were thankful for, but I also asked you guys on Instagram what you were thankful for this season. So let's go through some things that you guys are thankful for.

[B]

Basically, I'm only looking for, like, unique things that I wouldn't have thought of to be thankful for.

[A]

Like, you don't want nice things that people cares.

[B]

Like, that's. Everyone's thankful for their family.

[A]

Like, I don't know. Someone said, my mom postpartum. I'm like, that's a good one.

[B]

Okay. You know, it's the difference of why you're thankful, maybe.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I'm just looking for, you know, like.

[A]

You'Re only thankful for your mom postpartum. Not if you're not postpartum.

[B]

I mean, we all are thankful for our mom, you know? Right.

[A]

I got it. I got it.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like, what show am I watching now? Oh, you know what? I'm going to save it for my wreck. Okay. Oh, my husband making it home safe from his third deployment. That's a good, cool, very heartfelt ivf. And my husband. Cute. Love it. I mean, I don't know why I said cute. Like, that's a miracle. That's great. My king bed. Making me feel rich.

[B]

I respect that.

[A]

And thankful for a king bed.

[B]

You know, it's definitely time for a new mattress cover.

[A]

Okay, well, we have a new mattress cover. You've been complaining about our bed for so long.

[B]

We need a firmer bed.

[A]

I like our bed, but it's not.

[B]

Good for our back. It's too soft.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

Well, I guess we're keeping it then.

[A]

No, we could get a new one. But the thing is, you complain about it all the time. What have you done?

[B]

Oh, when your brother does that, we're gonna do, like, a Murphy bed. Will that be, like, a queen?

[A]

We could have it be whatever Size you want. Why?

[B]

I just. I don't know. I feel like that's something.

[A]

We have a queen in that room right now.

[B]

It's not a queen. It's small.

[A]

That's a queen. Is it queens when you go from a queen to a king, like the difference. You think that you remember queens being big until you go from queens.

[B]

Queens are for peasants now.

[A]

Oh, this is a good one too. Having a home, clean clothes, daily showers and food. It's a simple things. True. We love that. Thankful for when the baby started sleeping through the night. Hang in there, it'll happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good one. Oh, my gosh. Living in Hawaii with my husband and my two goldens.

[B]

Life is nice.

[A]

That sounds like a dream. You're two goldens in Hawaii. What do you do? Go to the beach, look at rainbows? Go to the. Go to.

[B]

I'm going to counter that. I'm going to counter that.

[A]

That sounds amazing.

[B]

I fucking love Hawaii. First off, maybe because I'm thinking of Kauai. Like, we love Kauai, but I'm like, I don't know about. Would you feel somewhat isolated on an island? The only way to travel you have to go by plane.

[A]

We're technically on an island. Okay, we are.

[B]

Yeah, I guess.

[A]

No, the thing that I would worry about of living somewhere tropical and beautiful where the weather is perfect all the time. No. Is feeling like I just want one day of like, shit. Like shitty weather. Like, would you feel guilty if you don't go outside and enjoy the sunshine every day? You know, like here in New York, we had a whole season of shit weather where we could just be shit people stay inside. And if you live in Hawaii, I'd be like, I need to go and enjoy everything. About.

[B]

If you're kind of like living in Miami, I feel like I'd have to be working out all the time, every single day.

[A]

I'm saying, do you just get exhausted? Constant beautiful weather.

[B]

Okay, true. I wonder, statistically, like, in warmer climates, is depression higher? Because I don't think so. Well, like, if you're not a fit person, I would be. I would be depressed constantly seeing people with like eight packs running around all day with their shirts off.

[A]

No, because I think if you actually look at, like where the highest suicide rates are, it's in cities or places where the weather is not good. You know what? But is that a lie too? Because remember when we went to Finland and it's like the happiest place on earth that according to, I don't know, According to who? But when we were there, everyone kept telling us that Finland is the happiest place on earth. Is it because they celebrate Christmas all the time?

[B]

I had to base off population size. They're not that big. So like plus everything. Less percentage of suicide rates versus United States.

[A]

No, but it's all like relative. Like you're doing it like out of a thousand, you know, like. Or I. I don't know how they're, you know, we're just making up over here. But I feel like what we did.

[B]

Go evidence based research.

[A]

They are happy even though it's snowing half the time. But again, it could be because everything is Christmas.

[B]

We'll work life balance too. They're not like working 14 hour days, right?

[A]

Yeah, it's probably just the U.S. the reindeer probably helps. That's my point is like if you have Santa Claus and elves, like themed things all the time. Reindeer. It was really.

[B]

That was so random. We go to Finland and there's Santa Town or Christmas Town or whatever. And Alex and I are probably the only two people that were wanting to kill each other. April, remember? Because I never turned my phone on.

[A]

Why do we want to kill each other?

[B]

I never turn my phone on when we're overseas because I don't want to pay attention.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So Alex, she has hers. I'm with her all the time. So why do I need my phone on? I don't care. I go, I'm going to the bathroom.

[A]

And I'm like, are you going to Three Little elves or Santa's shop?

[B]

Don't move. She disappears. I'm with all these kids in elf shop land. Can't find Alex. I'm freaking out. I'm like, I don't even know where I am.

[A]

I probably got distracted by like some toy.

[B]

I run, I walk around the corner. Like 20 minutes later, I find her and we just start yelling at each other.

[A]

In Santa Town, I'm like, it's almost my birthday. Sue me for wanting to buy an ornament in April.

[B]

We're in what's it called? Not Lapland, but it's the tundra. It's. We're in the tundra of Finland. I don't have a phone. There's nothing there. I could have died.

[A]

We probably spoke about this. We were still doing the podcast last year when this happened. Nobody feels bad for you, John. Next thing that people are thankful for. Espresso fudge.

[B]

Yeah, 100%. Is it Nespresso or espresso? Espresso, but starts with an N. Nespresso.

[A]

Nespresso is a brand. Espresso does. Isn't a thing. That's like going on the expressway. Espresso.

[B]

R E S S O. Yeah. And that's the drink.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Nespresso is a brand of a product.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

Nespresso is a brand. It's like a Keurig.

[B]

I always thought that was like.

[A]

Okay, what did you think? I would love to know.

[B]

No, no. I thought Nespresso was like a type of coffee drink, you know.

[A]

But I'm sure that's what the brand wants.

[B]

That's a rat move.

[A]

Just like band aid. Isn't that like also a brand? But the brand like takes over. Like, I think it's just, I don't know what strip. What is a band aid actually called?

[B]

Bandage.

[A]

A bandage, but everyone calls it a band aid.

[B]

There's other stuff.

[A]

Brand is bandaid. Yeah. What are some other things? I don't know if you can think of them. Add them in the comments. Oh, someone wrote thankful for my recent divorce. It sucked and I didn't want it, but it was necessary. Interesting that sometimes again you could be thankful for the hardships that you go through.

[B]

Getting over the hardship or like coming out the other side.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Going you learn things and like, just because it's hard doesn't mean that it's the wrong thing.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Work from home. Job offering an ideal work life balance with the fam. I also am thankful for that.

[B]

I feel like Spotify just talked about that. They go, what? Our employees aren't children. They can work from home. So they're letting all their employees work from home.

[A]

Which nice. And I feel like for us too, that's made it so nice to be able to like just pop in and say hi to Lucy while my mom has her.

[B]

I just think, yeah, like CEOs and all them that just want their employees to go back to work just because they want to have this like power trip of like, you're my employee. Like, why do they have to be in the office?

[A]

Probably less of that and more that like they're paying for a lease and that's on you.

[B]

Okay. So you know, you, you eat that cost, that's on you. Why do you need them in office? But I, I, you should pay them.

[A]

For travel, I would say. Or my argument would be company culture. Or if like you need to collab on things in person.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

Doctors can't work.

[B]

We hit our million dollar sales this year. Guess what? I get you guys.

[A]

Sometimes employers can't work there's certain jobs that, like, you can't work from home.

[B]

I'm not saying everything, but, like, a lot of jobs don't need to go into the office. A lot of I T. Jobs like that. Why, if you're gonna make people go and you pay for their travel, you should pay for their lunch too. That's.

[A]

I worked at a job that I could do from home, and people maybe come in. I would quit.

[B]

I don't know for sure.

[A]

Yeah, I would have to find.

[B]

I also don't give a. About their. No one gives. No one cares about their employees.

[A]

Some. You know what? Some people might.

[B]

Sure. But I mean, like, you could be replaced the next day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I don't care about them. Like, if I'm the employee, I would hate to go in. I'd hate it. Hate it so much.

[A]

Well, I think you also just have, like, PTSD from traveling at 4. Like, commuting every day at 4:30 in the morning. Hitting New York.

[B]

Therapy is different. I can't do therapy from home. I could do telehealth, but if I got to, like, get someone out of bed. No, I got to be there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I'm talking about jobs that don't need it anyways.

[A]

And then, of course, lots of people said this podcast. Thank you.

[B]

That's a good one. That's a good one. I noticed your nails.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I did them last night.

[B]

No, trimmed them down.

[A]

Yeah, I did. Because again, I. I scratched Lucy, and I felt horrible. So bad because I was changing her. And again, my nails. I haven't had time to do my gel X extension, so, like, I've just been growing out my natural nails. And because I'm taking still, like, prenatals, postnatals, all the vitamins, My nails are strong and growing long.

[B]

This is actually my selfish reason for having a kid. I finally got you to not put those long nails on. I love.

[A]

What do you. That's why you put a baby in maze. Because you didn't want me to have long nails. I love having those. And plus, like, then they're strong anyway, so I was like, I'll just do my own gel. Last night while she was sleeping.

[B]

Does that cause cancer or something?

[A]

Doesn't everything?

[B]

No, but there's a whole thing that.

[A]

Just came out about, like, everything causes cancer.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Microplastics. Like, I'm sure the air that we're breathing in here, like, I just. Can you. You could do your best, you know. Coffee.

[B]

Yeah, but you're intentionally putting cancerous nail.

[A]

Product on what's in your hair gel?

[B]

This?

[A]

Who knows?

[B]

Nothing. It's probably good for, you know, got to be glued. Good for you.

[A]

Okay. No, I just, like. I choose to not, like, think about that, because I feel like you can go crazy, and I'm like, people talk about all the things in your kitchen. Aluminum, you can't have.

[B]

Coming from the person who makes me throw food out after two days.

[A]

Well, that's mold. Like, it's not physically see it.

[B]

The amount of.

[A]

I could see it with my own.

[B]

Charcuchie board stuff that Alex mixed. He throws out all that cheese that I cut up. You, like, throw it out. The cheese was fine till 2026. No, cheese was fine.

[A]

The issue is, once you open something after it's been vacuum sealed, after a week or two, it goes bad.

[B]

Bullshit.

[A]

You can have mold all over it. John will just cut it out. And there's two types of people in.

[B]

The world, and that's how you live long. You can't just clean everything all the time. Cleaning supplies. You're not supposed to do it all the time.

[A]

I'm not talking about cleaning. I'm talking about. I don't want food poisoning.

[B]

A little dirt.

[A]

I'm not trying to shit my pants. I know that, like, you love to shit your pants. Like, that's where we do not align. I don't want to have stomach issues. And so when I see meat that is gray, I'm like, hey, that's old.

[B]

John's like, oh, over exaggerating. It doesn't matter. The meat could look fine, but no, the package has been open for more than a week. Tossing it. Yeah, John, that's not true.

[A]

It literally looks gray. Like, the salamis will look. And let's put this out and serve it to our guests. I'm like, if you want to kill everyone, you're crazy. And again, if you want to eat it, I. You can keep it for you. But once cheese starts growing things, I'm like, I'm out.

[B]

The carrots I made, you didn't want to eat the carrots. I made the. Because they. Because I baked them, like, four days ago.

[A]

What do you. You didn't even offer me any. I would have had them. Four days is in the safe window. I would have had them again, John. I just, like, I don't need to be sharding my pants, and I don't want. I don't have the time to be sick. And so I'm like, why am I going to. To ingest something that I know is gonna Me up. Plus, I have to be healthy to feed Lucy.

[B]

I'm actually worried about the. Because I just saw some about, like, the flu's having some sort of mutation this year. It's gonna be bad. And, like, we don't normally leave the house. I leave the house for the grocery store and going to the gym to work on my legs, and I'm like, I can't not go. It's like twice a week to the gym. But I'm worried. And I know all the college kids come back for break and the high school kids, and they're sick.

[A]

You can't avoid all germs.

[B]

I know, because I don't want to get Lucy sick. Like, we just started getting her to bed.

[A]

She's gonna get sick. I think that that's the one thing, like, that I'm not looking forward to, is the first time that she's gonna get sick. I'm gonna feel so bad for her. But I was thinking this, too, the other day, because, you know, with her booger whistles, we've been getting them out, and, man, there are some chunky boogers in there. I was thinking, I can't wait to get to the phase of life where I'm not worried about her. If she's breathing still while she's sleeping. And then in that moment, I was like, I'm always going to be worried about something. Like, if it's not her being alive while she's sleeping, it's going to be something else now. Working on something.

[B]

I got all these videos of dads now. That's like, if you're a daughter dad or whatever you call him.

[A]

A girl dad.

[B]

A girl dad.

[A]

A daughter dad. You should make that a thing.

[B]

Daughter dad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He was like, maybe look into, like, starting to work out. You want to be a little intimidating because these teenage years with these boys, it's like, you can't actually, like, fight the kid. You'll go to jail. But if you look somewhat intimidating, you.

[A]

Want them to be a little afraid of you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you don't want them to envision you beating them up.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that. I think. I think I'm gonna have a really hard time. I just won't be around.

[A]

Well. Oh, like, when she starts dating.

[B]

Yeah, I think I'll have a weird. I'll be like, I can't handle. I can't handle this.

[A]

My dad wasn't jacked, but he was intimidating because he wore sunglasses at night.

[B]

Your D looked like he was mafia.

[A]

I know. And So I remember my one boyfriend being like, I'm. I'm slightly afraid of your dad. And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, well, he has the deepest voice. And he goes. And I walk into the living room to meet him. Lights are off. Man's wearing sunglasses, and he's like, how's it going? And he has giant hands. Like, if you know my dad, he's not intimidating at all.

[B]

He's. He's a saint.

[A]

I wouldn't necessarily use the word saint, but shall we get into classic?

[B]

To me, he's a saint.

[A]

Well, he's just obsessed with you. I go over there the other day. He's like, where's John? I'm like, he's at home. He's like, he's not here with you? And I'm like, no, sorry, dad. It's just me. And he turned around. He's like, oh, all right. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. Literally, I'm sorry.

[B]

You want to see your granddaughter?

[A]

Your boyfriend is at home. God.

[B]

SNL just did a skit on that. It was like a song and was like, is this SNL episode where Glenn Powell's on it?

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And it's. It's like, I just miss my ex's dad. And it's like a whole song about, like, loving their ex's dad, their relationship. It's so funny.

[A]

Yeah. Well, if we broke up, you'd still end up with my dad for sure. I guess I wouldn't say broke up if we divorced.

[B]

Yeah, it's still. It's a little more than that.

[A]

That's fine. I still get Jen in the divorce. Your sister.

[B]

Oh, yeah. My. My sister's a traitor. She's definitely a traitor. She would. She would cut me off and hang out with you for sure.

[A]

But we're not going anywhere Anyway. Next.

[B]

Next question. First question.

[A]

Should we move into questions? I feel like we've been talking for too long. Everybody's thankful. Have a good Thanksgiving. We can't wait to come back and hear all your things.

[B]

Also, if you just are annoyed with just listening to us talk about our lives, you can always fast forward on the podcast.

[A]

That's true. It's like, I don't feel bad. Move along. Enjoying this. Like, go elsewhere. Like, do you have to complain? I think that's the other thing, too. I'm thankful for the people who just say nice things and the people who, like, if you have to complain about something and you just move along, like, I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful and I don't even know who you are because you're not leaving the comments. You're just leaving. Yeah, it's great. I'm thankful for you. Okay, let's jump into questions. This episode is also sponsored by Face Foundry. Being a new parent means two things. One, I love Lucy more than anything on this planet. And two, I am not sleeping at all. And when I don't sleep, you could see it instantly on my face. So I've been obsessed with Face Foundry. That is Face Foundry spelled F A C E F O U N D R I E. I don't know why spelling is so hard these days. Probably because I'm not sleeping. But they help me look like I actually have my life together when I definitely do not. Queen Face Foundry is an open concept focused facial bar offering efficient and effective services for all things face. They provide affordable result driven facials, lash and brow services. The whole vibe is perfection. Think result driven services in under an hour at a fraction of the price of a traditional spa. No robes, no cucumbers, just real results fast. I'll pop over for a sculpt facial and suddenly I look lifted, refreshed, de puffed, like I legitimately slept for eight hours. Their estheticians actually explain what's happening with your skin, which I love. Plus, facials should be part of your routine, not a rare indulgence. They make that doable with approaching pricing and hours outside of the usual nine to five nights and weekends are a lifesaver when you're juggling childcare work and trying to not look like a zombie. They can help with everything. Elegant, aging, dryness, breakouts like we were just talking about how dry our skin is getting recently. And yes, they offer all of the fan favorites like cryo and dermaplaning along with lash lifts, tints and brow laminations for that polished, low maintenance look. Also 65 locations nationwide. So whether it's self care day or a big event, you are covered. So if you want skincare that fits real life and makes you feel incredible, visit face foundry.com and use code G I T M S at checkout for 20 off your first service. That's face foundry.com f a c e f O-U-N-R-I-E.com use code G I T M S for 20 off your first service. Face foundry Efficient, effective and exactly what my tired mom face needs.

[B]

And this podcast is also sponsored by Bobby Feeding a baby is one of the biggest learning curves of a new parent.

[A]

Life sure is.

[B]

We're still finding our rhythm. Alex breastfeeds. But sometimes it's a combo feeding when she's traveling or when Lucy's hanging with her grandparents and having a formula that feels good to give her, that's huge for us. That's why we use Bobby spelled B O bbie. Feed with confidence with Bobby's USDA organic European inspired infant formulas. Bobby was created by moms who couldn't find what they wanted on the shelf, so they made it themselves. And as a dad, I love that they obsess over what goes in every bottle. Bobby loses sleep or what goes in your baby's bottle so you don't have to. Every batch goes through 2000 plus safety quality tests plus third party testing before it ever leaves their US manufacturing facilities. And it shows. Bobby is founded by moms, trusted by parents and loved by 700 plus babies, including our girl. Whether you're exclusively formula feeding, combo feeding, or just need a backup can in the pantry, Bobby has your back with clean, high quality infant formulas modeled after breast milk. They've won some big awards too, like Babyliss 2025 top choice organic formula. Because Bobby truly supports every feeding journey. Whoever you are, wherever you're at, you deserve confidence. If you want to feel good about what's in your baby's bottle, get 10% off with code [e-mail] that's H I B O B B I E.com promo.

[A]

Code straight this episode is brought to you by Neiman Marcus. Neiman Marcus is your home for the most exceptional gifts. And I take gift giving very seriously this time of year. But I'll be honest that some of that gifting is to myself, maybe shock the majority of it. Because listen, holiday events are coming in hot and sue me for wanting new outfits. John.

[B]

Sue her.

[A]

And maybe a new bag. And maybe something sparkly. It's the season of giving and occasionally giving. To me at Neiman Marcus, there's something truly special for everyone. Like gourmet goodies for the foodies in our lives. Elegant timepieces, stunning jewelry, beauty must haves and the chicest kids clothing and toys for Lucy so she can outshine every other baby. And the impossible to shop for people. They are no match for Neiman Marcus. Their holiday gift guide makes it incredibly easy to find something amazing for every price point. And don't even get me started on their legendary fantasy gifts. These are one of a kind gifts that surpass every expectation. If you want to be the favorite this year, that is the move. Plus if you need a Little help narrowing things down because I always want everything. Neiman Marcus style advisors make finding the perfect gift completely effortless. They get me, and more importantly, they get my Pinterest board energy. So whether you're treating the people that you love or you're treating yourself while pretending you're getting something for someone else, Neiman Marcus is where the holiday magic actually happens. If you're looking for gifts that are guaranteed to surprise and delight, head to Neiman Marcus. Question one. Every holiday season, my husband and I go to my extended family's house for a gathering. And every year, that one overbearing aunt asks the inappropriate question, when are you and your husband having kids? And every year it's awkward backstory. Her daughter is a fertile Myrtle and has five healthy children ranging from ages 10 to 2. While my husband and I love children, we miscarried last year and the only people who knew were our parents and our tight knit circle. I'm a pretty private person to begin with. So how do I shut down this question without ruining the holiday gathering?

[B]

I'm sure it's hard to, like, not have some sort of animosity towards someone asking you that. But again, like, she also doesn't know what you went through. Even though you know that she doesn't know, you're still like, how dare you? I know. That's still kind of like triggering.

[A]

The way that I always answered was, we're still practicing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it just like made people then think of us. And I was like, that's uncomfortable for.

[B]

Kind of like a smart ass answer back to like, shut it down.

[A]

Yeah. But it just depends on you. Personally, I like to make people feel uncomfortable. So, like, when people would ask, I would say, like, it depends on who it is. Oh, well, you to you. To me. I would always tell people if we went through a loss that we went through our loss. Because I'm like, you asked the guy.

[B]

The fucking restaurant the other day.

[A]

What guy?

[B]

The guy asked me like, fucking six times. Like, do you have kids? Do you have kids? Did you. How many kids do you have?

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I was just like, you're like.

[A]

I'm going to make this extra uncomfortable.

[B]

I want to talk. I was like, well. I go, well, we. We lost one. And he goes, and he moves on to, like, talking about something else.

[A]

I'm like, well. And that's again, how you get them to move on if you really want to shut it down.

[B]

And no, no, no, we. He kept talking to me.

[A]

I'm talking about the topic of kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you Want to shut down that topic, make it uncomfortable and just say I had a miscarriage. I'm still.

[B]

Well, I'm not feeling I had a miscarriage.

[A]

Jesus Christ, John, you could say it. My wife had a miscarriage. You understand, Understand what I'm saying?

[B]

I just know that this is a point where you don't say we. This is you. I'm just making sure that everyone knows that I know that. I'm not going to say like it's not about me.

[A]

I know. Okay, we're on different pages then. I thought you meant that you're not talk like you're just not saying anything about it. Like, yeah, you don't have to say we.

[B]

I mean I'm. Wow, you know, Dan, if I do, Dan, if I don't over here, I.

[A]

Just like, are we. We're having separate conversations about different things. Are you taught you like want to continue the conversation with that man about children or no, no, at the bar.

[B]

I don't want to talk to him in general.

[A]

If you still are following along, you shut down the conversation by just being honest.

[B]

But yeah, I think that's a good way. Again, I say it depends who the person is because like you're already like, don't feel like talking to this certain individual. So giving a semi smart answer back probably will have them shut the fuck up with also you making you feel a little bit better. Yeah, people also genuine people. Like I could sense a genuine question, like a good per. I'd be like, well, without telling them, I would end up telling them like it just.

[A]

It depends on what your relationship with is with this person. If you want to talk about it, who's around. Sounds like you don't want to have this conversation. So that's also a personal thing of how you want to shut down the conversation. Do you want to make them feel uncomfortable or do you want to just like move along? I feel like a lot of people have creative responses to these. Again, I can't think of any in the moment, but mine is truly just we're still practicing. Or if you want to tell them and make it awkward, you say we lost one. Yeah, we had a miscarriage and I'm sorry that you experienced that. And I hope that you don't have an awkward Thanksgiving this year. Next question. My mother in law has always been a bit kooky. We don't agree on most things politically, but we've always been civil and have a great relationship otherwise. Lately though, she's been diving into deeper and deeper conspiracy like rabbit holes. Her latest venture is Flat Earth. She's in deep. And most everything she talks about is linked somehow to how we've been lied to by NASA and so on and so forth. Usually I just ignore or respectfully disagree. But she started trying to teach my children about her theories, going so far as buying them Flat Earth textbooks. That's where I draw the line. How do I convey that she has no right to teach my children this half baked nonsensical theory while still maintaining a loving familial relationship with her?

[B]

I mean, you pretty much said it like you, you cut like you could talk to me about whatever the you want, but when it comes to my kids, you're going to follow this structure if you want to spend time with them.

[A]

Or you just like tell your kids after, like grandma has lost her mind, she needs to go into a home.

[B]

But you can avoid all that by just like nipping in the butt with your mom. I think I just feel like this.

[A]

Lady'S not going to actually listen. You could try.

[B]

Well then you, yeah, well then you have some point of separation until you figure out the best plan moving forward. But just like older adults, it's just crazy because they have time on their hands. The nursing home, these poor pe. All they have, they gotta, they got to upgrade these nursing homes. In a room, it's like bed, bathroom, and this TV from the 80s and it's the same channel whether it's CBS, NBC, whatever. Not CBS, NBC or Fox. Whichever party you're with, that's what's on the TV. And it's on 24 7. So that's, that's, that's all they're seeing. That's all they're seeing. Just like her now. She's probably on her laptop like the mom in Eddington. That movie we just watched, that was not that great.

[A]

Oh, right, yeah. No, I. Is that what it was called? That.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Eddington. Oh, I start, I'm starting to see it with just some of the elderly people in our lives where I'm like, my God, turn off the news, please. Like you are just going off a deep end and you're running on these conspiracy theories that. Not even necessarily from the news, but just like going through, believing things that they're seeing that are AI. It's a little bit scary. But with this situation, I would ask your husband, like, where is your husband? When it deals with a mother in law, I'm always like, why is it on you to be the, to be the. I don't want to say bear up Bad news. But to be the front facing person.

[B]

Pointing contention with this person. But you're also like the contact. Your. Your husband should be the one. Hello.

[A]

Like if it was your mother, I'd be like, john, can you like. Because if it was my mom, I'd be like, mom, you're being literally insane. Do you mind?

[B]

That's also being a self aware partner. It. He should already be doing that.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's like, what the fuck? Unless he doesn't care. Talk to your husband first. Have your husband be the one to.

[A]

I would put this on your husband first.

[B]

Unless you with your husband, he's like, oh no, we are flat as we are.

[A]

Yeah. What movie were you watching the other day? Like, has she not seen the Martian with Matt Damon? Like, obviously the Earth is round.

[B]

It was such a good movie. Watching it, I was like, it's cool.

[A]

I didn't realize that him. Jessica Chastain. There probably were other characters were just in interstellar and then they're like, let's do another space movie.

[B]

How do you know it was the same time? You're like just in Martian's old.

[A]

The Martian 2015, Interstellar. I just want to let you know that I looked it up and Martian was 2015, Interstellar was 2014. So yeah, back to back, back to back space movies. They were like, wow, this crushed. Let's just try to do this copy paste again.

[B]

It's not copy paste because Matt Damon's evil and interstellar and he's a hero in Martian.

[A]

I just can't imagine being like, yeah, let me, let me do this again. Yeah.

[B]

Another prime example. My favorite show back in the day, Virgin river. The doctor plays a doctor in Sweet Home Alabama or some one of those shows. A previous show.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

[B]

It's the same character.

[A]

Yeah, I mean I guess you're like when it works, I already know the environment of what it's like to be in there.

[B]

You could change the character up at all. He's the same exact character in Virgin River.

[A]

Be like Daniel Radcliffe like being in Harry Potter and then like going and being another. What about him?

[B]

So diverse.

[A]

No, I'm character. I'm just saying Daniel Radcliffe reverse the.

[B]

Right word because he goes from playing like Dune. I don't know, I just said like that dude to like he plays one of the Beatles.

[A]

Right. So that's not the example that I'm trying to give right now. I'm saying it'd be like if Daniel Radcliffe was in like another wizard but movie after being Harry Potter all these years. So that has nothing to do with Timothy Shallow?

[B]

No, I was just thinking about the word diverse when it comes to that. Is that the correct term? Like you're able to find different range?

[A]

Yeah, Diverse. Yeah, I guess.

[B]

Okay, next question.

[A]

Anyway, moving on. I'm the youngest of. Did we answer the question?

[B]

Yeah. What was the question?

[A]

It was about her mom being pregnant. Yeah. Just like, make your husband deal with this. Next question. I'm the youngest of three girls and my two older sisters, both unmarried with no kids, have been at odds with each other for the majority of my life. Although I have fairly good relationships with both individually, they currently haven't spoken to each other since my wedding about a year ago. Now I am four and a half months pregnant and bracing myself for the Thanksgiving holiday where we will all be together. It will also be my birthday on Thanksgiving. My parents avoid confrontation at all costs and completely avoid this situation with my sisters that has gone on for way too long, in my opinion.

[B]

I.

[A]

Between my hormones and this stage of my life right now, I am honestly done with this bullshit and cannot let this stress me out or ruin another holiday for me. I don't feel like it's my problem to fix or my responsibility to talk to my sisters about fixing their issues. Am I wrong?

[B]

No. I honestly so glad you said that last part because if you're going to be like, I'm the one, I'm going to tell them that they need to fix it. Like, you're not the fudgeing hero in this situation. Don't involve yourself. Has nothing to do. Yeah. So how you're saying is don't deal with it. Yeah. It's not on you.

[A]

No. Just pop your popcorn, put it on your pregnant belly and just enjoy the show. Like, this is not. This is not. Like, again, it doesn't involve you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I hate when other people get involved because when I had issues with people and they'd be like, if someone chirps in, oh, my God person, you're the older. Well, like, you're. You know, other people aren't as mature as you, Alex. I'm like, you don't know half the. So, like, when other people try to.

[B]

Get involved, they're gonna be like the. Yeah. The hero.

[A]

It would make me so much more annoyed. Like, let them work.

[B]

That's for your Switzerland. And you shut the up. That's a Switzerland.

[A]

They'll work it out on their own. You enjoy. Enjoy the holidays. Enjoy your birthday. Next question, for background. My mom is really into celebrating holidays together. As a family, even birthdays have to be celebrated on the actual day, even if it's not what I want for my own birthday. But that's a different story. So, anyway, I was told that if my husband and I are celebrating Thanksgiving with my in laws, my husband and I would still need to celebrate Thanksgiving on a different day with my parents, and they would still be stopping over the morning of Thanksgiving day to say hi, basically just to say they saw us on the actual day. It feels like a lot. And these high expectations have me stressed. Am I overthinking it? Should I just be thankful my parents want to be involved so much?

[B]

Just tell them no.

[A]

She also says her parents live nearby and she sees them weekly.

[B]

Just say you're busy so you're doing something else. Lie.

[A]

She's like, I'm.

[B]

We're gone for the day.

[A]

I just feel like, yeah. While you can be thankful that your parents are involved, because I feel like we've run into this sometimes where. And you've said it before, where it feels like never enough. Even. Like, if you live in the same town as your parents and they still want to see you, then you have this guilty feeling for not spending all of your time with them. But at what point. Think about, like, your parents and their parents. Did they spend 100% of their time with their parents? No. They started their families. And I think it's just natural that parents want to spend their time with their kids. And so I think that, like, that's kind of how you have to look at it. But at what point do you then start your own family, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just think you just have to do what's best.

[B]

Just setting. Setting a fucking boundary. It's. No one should have access to you whenever they want. Like, it just shouldn't be like that. I think Woody Harrelson, I say it all the time. I think that was so smart of him. Like, that's why he doesn't have a cell phone.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Because he's like, no one should have access to me immediately. Like that.

[A]

Yeah, well, and that's different digital standpoint. But that's where they, like, yeah. Trying to pop in and just, like, say hi on Thanksgiving for the sake.

[B]

Of just a boundary.

[A]

Yeah. And I would explain that to them, too. Like, I see you guys all the time.

[B]

Like, also, you're doing this for you. You're not doing this for me. So it's like, don't assume, like, you are. I would say that, like, are you. Do you think that this is something I want because it's not. Is this something for you to make you feel better?

[A]

Right. That's a good put in perspective and.

[B]

Be like, this is draining my for.

[A]

You, less for me. Yeah, but no, you're not the asshole. You're still seeing your parents, you're involved.

[B]

And just know it's never enough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In their eyes.

[A]

Next question. My father in law came to visit us and while he was there, he mentioned he wanted to get a family photo of himself, my husband, our 18 month old daughter and our 7 week old son at Christmas to print on a canvas and hang in his living room. I immediately responded, you want a family photo without me in it to print on a canvas and hang in your living room? He said don't be offended and explained he has one just like that with my husband's brother and sister's family. I have only met this man four times when we went home for Christmas, but have a fine relationship with him. I, I don't mind that he wants a photo with his son and grandkids, but to not include me in the one you're going to print and hang on the wall is annoying and it hurts my feelings. I told my husband later that it really makes me mad and he said to try not to let it bother me and that his dad is not socially aware of this kind of thing. But it still bothers me. Should I say something at Christmas when they go to take the photo? At this point I do not even want to make the trip to see him at Christmas.

[B]

I just makes me think of your cousin's wedding where one person was allowed in the photo because they weren't married yet.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

It was like a group of like 40 of us.

[A]

Okay. But marriage is different because people do break up. And like that is so fair because thinking about the amount of like wedding photos I was in with exes and I'm just like, thank God I was at the end. Crop me out. Like you just relationships like that. Like until you have a married or not.

[B]

Who in this.

[A]

Yes, they're.

[B]

Oh, that's he.

[A]

She should be the kids with him.

[B]

Yeah, she should be in the photo.

[A]

Also now being a new mom, I feel so, so much ownership over my daughter that if someone was like, I want a picture of your daughter and not you, I'd be like, who the f. She's mine. I fucking made her. I'm gonna be in this photo because she.

[B]

Are you crazy?

[A]

Absolutely not. So yeah, if someone like, if your family wanted a photo with Lucy, I'd be like, no, you can have a photo then with just John. I'm taking my daughter then out of that photo. It's either we're all in it together as a unit.

[B]

My parents don't even call to talk to me anymore. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, show us.

[A]

Show us the baby.

[B]

Yeah, show us the.

[A]

Maybe all the wedding photos that we have at your parents house are going to be swapped out with her face for sure. They've already printed a few that are like grainy and not great. And I'm like, I know what we're getting them for Christmas photos.

[B]

Shutterfly.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, you can absolutely be bothered. Maybe not going up for Christmas is a bit much, but I would take it a step further and I would.

[B]

Get a full send in the photo with you in it.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And make sure you're in the middle so there's no cropping you out.

[A]

Make sure you are dead center.

[B]

You show up and there's like a little like happy face over your face.

[A]

You're holding the kids in the photo. Yeah.

[B]

Face here, face here. Like good luck.

[A]

Yeah. Next question. My husband and I have been married for over three years now. Both of us are big into traveling and take one big trip up to three weeks and a couple of smaller holidays. Less than a week each year. Since the time we've been married, I've noticed that his parents like to join us for a holiday. It wasn't such a problem at first, but then I started seeing a pattern where his parents would start asking almost a year in advance about what we were doing around a certain period of time and if we could take a trip together. Don't get me wrong, I love them and I don't mind taking a family holiday every alternate year or something. But I do want to explore places with just my husband while I can before we have our own little family. Is that too much to ask? How can I politely say no without them getting offended? I've tried to bail out of the situation by giving some excuses, but sometimes that means that even if it's a country I wish to travel to, I have to sit on it so that they don't feel bad about declining their ideas and then us going on a trip. My husband doesn't seem to think it's a problem if his parents join us every year. His thought is that they're getting old so we should make memories with them, which I do agree with. But it wouldn't hurt if we did it every other year instead of every single fucking year.

[B]

From what I heard, it sounds like you do one trip that's like three weeks. One by the way, I think is crazy. And then you do multiple small trips.

[A]

I want to unpack that. Why do you think that's.

[B]

We will. But just. Is that what she's saying? Three week trip and then like a couple.

[A]

She does a couple smaller holidays which are less than a week each year. So they do one big one.

[B]

So the one big one. Yeah, don't let. They don't need to come to that. But if you're doing like a small two, three day trip, let them fucking go on that one.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Why, why would do they come in the 3 week 1?

[A]

Sounds like they want to do the big country.

[B]

Blow my brains out. Absolutely not.

[A]

See, and I'm thinking the three week one, that's a long time to go anywhere with just one person. So I'm like, I would do one week with my like with other people joining, another week with just John or maybe two. You know what I mean? Like I feel like that's a long. So. But wait, why do you never go.

[B]

On a trip for three weeks?

[A]

Oh, so it's the trip that put.

[B]

A gun in my mouth.

[A]

So it's the trip that's three weeks long that you don't like, not the fact that you'd be traveling with your in laws for that.

[B]

Imagine like constantly going out to eat, traveling different hotels, like I just want to take a shit my own toilet.

[A]

Okay. But we are different, I feel like than most.

[B]

You wouldn't. Oh no, that's what I'm saying.

[A]

Because John and I go on a three day trip.

[B]

It's the perfect.

[A]

The amount of times we've gone somewhere and we have a week to explore. John and I do it in two days and then by day two we're like, let's go home.

[B]

We had that. There's a couple times we've gone home early because we're like, nah, like we.

[A]

Got to do at home. Like let's like get. But that's toxic. Like I don't think that we're the best.

[B]

People like to dilly dally around and look at stuff like time is money.

[A]

I know but like that's because we.

[B]

I think, well the difference is we.

[A]

Like our job and right. We're. We always have work to do. So for us vacation, it's hard for us to like really take time away and enjoy it. So like once we like cram everything in, in three days we're like.

[B]

Which is not healthy.

[A]

What are we doing for the next three days? We don't need to sit by the pool and relax. We gotta get home.

[B]

I'm not gonna just sit, drink and eat and then feel like shit for three days. That's where like all inclusives, I can't do anymore.

[A]

No, but like, remember when we went to Europe last year?

[B]

Year?

[A]

It was like the perfect amount of time. We went for two, we went for two nights or three nights and we were like, this was a perfect amount of time where people who were meeting Rome. Yeah. They were like, oh, we're here for four weeks.

[B]

I'm like, four weeks, three days was. I was like, I'm out, in and out, done.

[A]

We got our fix. We were in like I just feel like I don't know. But that's us.

[B]

And I think that's what it comes down to. Because when I was doing ot, I. I got, I did one trip a year and I was looking forward to that so much. Like, I get that. I understand that because I also like hate like I just didn't want to go back to work, you know.

[A]

And that's true too because I guess like when I was working for other people or even just like if my. And when I was in college and my parents were taking me on vacation, I'm like, this is the best. Like, I need this to last forever. But now that like we do do our own thing, I'm like, you know, I enjoy while we're there, but I'm like, I can't, we can't take that long.

[B]

Fun fact. I also know they said like, was it five days? Five to seven days is like the max amount you want to do for a holiday. Because it. For like mental health wise. After that it begins to be like harmful.

[A]

Who said that?

[B]

I don't know. Some studies on it.

[A]

Probably some like CEO who like wants his boss, his like people back at work. Probably some boss. He's like, I'm putting out this article that is like scientifically three weeks.

[B]

Like oh my God.

[A]

I could see where a world in which you would enjoy that.

[B]

I love working remotely. Our friend Catherine.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

She would like travel and then work from. Because then it's like you have some purpose but you're in a different place. Okay. I could vibe with that.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Not living in a hotel.

[A]

I also. And again now we're making this question about us. I just love being home. Like, and I love, I like again doing those like short bursts of like trips. And I think that that's the difference too. You and I do like several trips a year, but they're short. We don't do like one big trip a year. We do a lot of little ones and I can't say little because, like, we'll travel to across the country, but just for a few days. But we don't mind that. Anyway, let's get back to you about us. It's not about us. I think that you already told her.

[B]

I think.

[A]

Yeah, for a big trip. Like, I personally wouldn't mind having other people there, but like, yeah, it's about balance and maybe you could try to plan it so that like, you and your husband do your own thing for the first two weeks and if you want people to join you for the last, like, leg of the trip or maybe the first leg of the trip.

[B]

But like, you know, or just do the two to three. One of the smaller ones with them.

[A]

Yeah. And. But what would you. What would you do, though if they're like, hey, we're going to Australia for three weeks. And the parents are like, we've loved. We love Australia. We wanted to go first.

[B]

I wouldn't you tell in that.

[A]

So you're saying you would hold back.

[B]

I would initially talk about one of the small trips. What's the shit sandwich? Kind of. Kind of method. Like talking about.

[A]

Well, no, you give a compliment, you give your criticism and then you give.

[B]

So the compliment first is like, hey, we're thinking about going to Florida.

[A]

Vermont.

[B]

Vermont. For the fall. For the fall. Because we're going to then shit. Because me and Danny, we're going to go to Barcelona for three weeks.

[A]

Oh, my God, Dan. Oh, you guys are. You and Danny are going to Barcelona. I love Barcelona. I want to go been. It's been on our bucket list.

[B]

That's so. I. That's awesome. I just. We want to spend some time just the two of us, you know, because we never know what's going to happen in the future. But also when we come back, we have another smaller trip coming up to. To. To Maine. You guys can go on that one too.

[A]

Just send us the dates for your Barcelona.

[B]

I don't think so. I just feel like, you know, we might want to start a family soon and we just want to like, do this just.

[A]

But we're your family. You're just going to kick us to the curb.

[B]

You guys are family and I love you so much, but, you know, we're gonna die stuff, just the two of us. Oh, don't put that on me, please, Mary.

[A]

See, simple as that.

[B]

I see in that, like, I don't feel bad, but like the question from Last week where it's like you're trying to tell one of your bridesmaids that she can no longer be part of the. The bridal party. That's tough because there's no, like, where's the compliment to the shit?

[A]

Like, I guess you could say, hey.

[B]

I don't want you in the bridal party anymore, but you can come to the bachelorette party.

[A]

Yeah, like, we could still be friends. It's not. We're not answering that question again.

[B]

No, but I'm saying, like, that seems so much harder for me than, than this because you're still inviting them to a trip. It's a little bit better. Unless you were like, don't come on any trips then.

[A]

That's hard, right?

[B]

Okay, next question.

[A]

I don't know that we helped anyone this episode.

[B]

No, I think that's perfect. Don't feel bad.

[A]

Next question. My mother in law ruined my daughter's first Halloween for me. Am I overreacting? For context, my mother in law and I couldn't be more different. For various reasons, after my daughter was born a year ago, I've held a lot of resentment towards her. For example, she and my father in law rarely make us a priority and have offered very little to help as grandparents. Additionally, my mother in law has constantly had a habit of feeding my daughter the most random food items without asking me or her dad first. Often when she was too young to have such things. I'm talking chocolate syrup at 7 months, garlic hummus at 8 months, and Midwestern Oreo salad at 6 months.

[B]

So specific.

[A]

Ironically, however. Well, when can you start introducing foods after six months? Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

Why, why would you think hummus.

[A]

Hummus would be bad at eight months? I'd be like, thank you.

[B]

Yeah, but the other two are like shit stuff hummus.

[A]

Right? Like if you're saying we don't want them to have sweets.

[B]

Yeah, hummus. I feel like it's okay.

[A]

Anyway, ironically, my mother in law's obsession with feeding my daughter is non existent on holidays and special occas. And she feels those are times she's granted a day of rest from cooking for Halloween. This year, she made it a point to tell my daughter how much she couldn't wait to see her come to trick or treat at her house. Since we hadn't seen much of them lately, we decided we'd go there after work, hang out, have dinner, and maybe stop by a few houses in the neighborhood for fun. My in laws live about 25 minutes away, so when we come to visit we aren't just popping in the night before Halloween. We called to confirm plans and lo and behold, their parents plans had changed and we were only invited to stay for two hours as they had dinner plans. We were under the impression that us coming after work meant we were coming to have dinner with them, which I feel most people would assume. But that wasn't the case. Skip to Halloween. We arrived at their house at 4:30 and two hours later she had yet to offer us anything to eat at all, not even a snack. And then had the audacity to ask what our plans were for dinner at 6:30. We told her we'd probably just pick up some McDonald's on the way home. Later they talked about how they were thinking about going to the steakhouse that we clearly weren't invited to. I was furious. I know it's just dinner and maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on food, but this one really got me because this happens often. She constantly never thinks about us and has made so many holidays subpar because she wants to relax. I don't know. Am I overreacting? You sound like the worst.

[B]

Oh my God. It's not about you.

[A]

Number one, is Halloween considered a holiday? That is not an event that like I would.

[B]

You're a doll. Feed yourself. What does anyone else have to feed you?

[A]

And not just that.

[B]

Your mother giving your kid all this other. Sure, don't then don't let her do anything. But you. You being like. It just seems a lot like me, me, me. Like they don't really help out. It's not their kid, it's your kid.

[A]

Also, your in laws live 25 minutes away. So when we come to visit, we aren't that far.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

I was just gonna say popping in in. You and I drive the grocery store, it's 25 minutes, but we drive an hour and happily pop in. We could drive like our commute could be that long. I'll stay for an hour, drive another hour home.

[B]

This sounds like just making it about yourself.

[A]

The other thing with food, like you're getting really annoyed at garlic hummus, but then you're taking your kids on the way home.

[B]

Shut the up.

[A]

And what, you're there for two hours. You can't. You're at your in laws. Your husband can't help himself to food. And like your family, like if you're.

[B]

So hungry, why don't you stop at McDonald's before you got there?

[A]

I just. This sounds. You are 100% overreacting. And my friend who pulls these, you.

[B]

Want to know why you don't have a village.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. My friend who pulled these questions, she was like, hey. She was like, this one is crazy. I just like pulled this because I want to hear your reaction. I wanted you to read it. I think in this situation you're the problem. Your mother in law did nothing to ruin your, your daughter's first Halloween. You did that on your own because she told you also ahead of time that they had dinner plans. You could have done whatever you wanted for Halloween. You chose to do this.

[B]

It just sounds like you're not a prepared person either. Like you're just assuming other people need to fill in the gap of like what you should be doing. You didn't. You didn't. You assuming somebody should be doing something is wild.

[A]

But then also not taking accountability for your own actions. Like, you're so, you're well, sorry, Susie.

[B]

Grandma didn't feed you, so now you don't get to eat.

[A]

And you're not invited to the steakhouse. Like you could have gone to the steak. Your own steakhouse. Like, why is it on your in laws to invite you if that's what you wanted to do that night? You and your husband and your own family could have gone to a steakhouse. Why is this, why are you blaming. Why are you being the victim in a situation in which you are not a victim? I don't think I've ever been annoyed with listener questions so much.

[B]

Is there any like happy hour steak places we can go, right? I'm starving.

[A]

I am starving too.

[B]

Let's do one more.

[A]

But you know what we're gonna do? Take ourselves there. I'm not gonna ask. Make it on my mom or your mother.

[B]

Yeah, let's go call your mom. Dude, bring us a steakhouse.

[A]

Grow up.

[B]

Seriously.

[A]

That's it. There aren't any more questions.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

So on that note, love to give the final question as a rage. Rage read.

[B]

Yeah. Wild. Do you have any wrecks John, you talked about earlier? But my wreck is I'm going back. Because I used to say this thing doesn't work and it's stupid. This mom cozy electric nose one sucks it out, no problem. And I actually like get satisfaction out of launching that booger out of her nose because it, I just see her be like breathing so much better.

[A]

See, like I get satisfaction from sucking it out once. I almost threw up this morning.

[B]

Well, I was gross because you go, I sucked a piece of meat out of her nose. I was like, this is disgusting.

[A]

It was like a piece of steak like that. It was. I got so nauseous, I couldn't even look at it. I took the nasal lacerator because it's clear, so you could see everything that you're getting. And I just, like, put it off to the side, and I couldn't even look at it. And I was like, okay, we're going to move on, because I don't want to throw up on you, Chunky.

[B]

I guess my other wreck is watching the Martian. It only. He only says two to three times max and the rest. So it's like, if you could bleep out those words. If you have younger kids, you can watch it.

[A]

I was like, where are you going?

[B]

Because it's cool. It's like how he, like, survives on Mars.

[A]

But why the word.

[B]

Like we said when I say rack, like, if you have younger kids, like, I don't want you to say, like, everyone should watch this. I'm giving a disclaimer.

[A]

When have you ever given a disclaimer?

[B]

I'm a dad now.

[A]

Language.

[B]

I'm a dad now.

[A]

Well, maybe don't listen to this episode because you said fuck about three, 30 times.

[B]

If you're a young adult. No, young child. Don't be listening to this. This is NC17.

[A]

Well, then the rec that I'm gonna give. I didn't count how many times I said fucking it. But there's a show called All Her Fault on Peacock, which is really good. It is about a woman, she goes to pick up her son from a friend's house. They had a play date together and realizes her son has been kidnapped. And then it, like, goes down into.

[B]

This whole snowball effect.

[A]

Snowball sore. But it's so good. It's the actress who plays Shiv in succession. Succession. And then Dakota Fanning is in it. And then the husband from the first White Lotus is in it. There's a lot of people in it. There's, like, some great people in it. Anyway, that's my rack.

[B]

Good job, Peacock.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like such a loser. Talking about, like, movie wrecks and TV wrecks and the stuff we've been watching because, like, it's not good for you to just sit there and watch stuff. But we're in that period of life where I just have Lucy on my chest. I'm like, I'm not going to make a sound.

[A]

Well, while she's sleeping, when she's awake, I'm like, we're play time. We're doing tummy time. Do we?

[B]

I know that.

[A]

At the pediatrician.

[B]

Towards the tv.

[A]

Well, yeah. I know. We build up, like, pillow block so she can't watch. What did we do with the pediatrician?

[B]

You want to do tummy time is her. Does she have any neck strength? Her face was down.

[A]

I'm like, lucy, you're making us look so bad. Because she has the strongest neck and because her head is so heavy and big, she has, like, great neck strength.

[B]

She just wasn't performing that day.

[A]

No, I was like, she just is. She was just feeling lazy. And again, she was making us look really bad. I was like, I swear to God, we do tummy time with her.

[B]

I know. All right, guys, that's it. Like, subscribe Email comment Please do all.

[A]

The things you want to. Follow us. You can find us everywhere. Give it to me straight podcast podcast on all the socials. If you want to send us an email, you can do it at. Hello, Give it to me straight podcast. Wait, is that what I said? Give it to me straight podcast is the socials. I don't know what I'm saying. And then if you want to send an anonymous question, you could do show. You can do so in our show notes or on our website. I think that's it. And we'll see you guys next week.

[B]

Ciao. Ciao.

[A]

Happy Thanksgiving.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

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