80. Giving you commitment, vandalism, and hallucinogens - Give It To Me Straight

Transcript

A (0:00)

The following podcast is a Dear Media.

B (0:02)

Production dad, you're not my forever person. They've been together for three years. Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Dude, you're such a bitch. This poor girl's like, yeah, I would love to have. I would love to have a little more commitment. Like, know that you love me and we're together. Oh, my God, what a piece of shit.

A (0:17)

Should I finish the question? And welcome back to Give it to Me Straight. I'm Alex.

B (0:28)

And I'm John. And we're your gracious, gracious, gracious, gracious. I got an eyelash.

A (0:33)

You look like you're ready to chop down some wood. Is that what you were going for?

B (0:38)

I don't know. You know, I've had this shirt for like three years and I never wore it. Why not? I just, like, I think the podcast is a perfect place for me to just put. Cuz you know how you have your set clothes you wear. We wear the same thing every day. Sweatpants.

A (0:51)

I have a million sweatshirts and I feel like I just like, cycle through them.

B (0:56)

But you know how, like, we just have our comfy clothes. We always wear, like, I feel like I need to wear some of the clothes that I have.

A (1:01)

Yeah.

B (1:03)

I just feel like putting this on.

A (1:04)

I know what you mean. But like, that's never what I like to wear. I always just love a sweatshirt.

B (1:11)

Right.

A (1:11)

For sure is my go to.

B (1:13)

For sure.

A (1:13)

I will do, like full glam sweatshirt.

B (1:16)

Speaking of that, and you talked to me about this like a couple of days ago, a week ago. Like, there needs to be something for guys where guys can just rent clothes.

A (1:23)

Yeah. I just gave myself a Christmas present and I'm doing Run the Runway. Merry Christmas to me. But I.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Give It To Me Straight

Episode 80: Giving you commitment, vandalism, and hallucinogens
Hosts: Alex & John
Date: December 2, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode showcases the trademark dynamic of Alex and John—a married couple offering unfiltered advice from both sides of the relationship coin. They dive freely into their own domestic chaos (including clothing clutter, sleep deprivation, and family traditions), react to listener questions about boundary-setting with family, commitment dilemmas, and holiday hosting awkwardness, and riff on everything from hallucinogens to Dr. Seuss. The tone is candid, energetic, and often hilarious, with both hosts veering off-script into story-heavy real talk and unsparing opinions.

Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Wardrobe Realities and Clothing Rental for Men

[01:13–03:47]
- Alex and John open with banter about clothing habits: Alex prefers sweatshirts, John finally wears an old shirt.
- They discuss rental services for clothes like Rent the Runway, Nuuly, and bemoan the lack of male equivalents. Alex gifts herself a subscription for variety and less clutter, suggesting men’s closets need a similar service.
- John: “I need a visual of what to wear—what goes with what. That would help guys a lot.”

2. Being Easily Hacked and Family Traits

[03:54–05:48]
- John complains about getting hacked repeatedly (“Why am I so easily attacked?” [04:09]) and blames his occupational therapist history, personal info online, and his dad.
- Alex points out blue eyes skip a generation, and they joke about inherited traits and what their daughter Lucy might get.

3. Sleep Deprivation, New Parent Life & Bodily Functions

[06:12–11:12]
- Alex wonders if she’s developed a dairy allergy since giving birth; John attributes new parent body woes to stress and poor sleep.
- They describe recurring “gerd” (John vomited in his mouth at night), garlic’s effect on their household, and sleep deprivation gaffes (Alex thought she was in an Uber rather than her own car—[08:22]).
- John: “You’re gonna kill us with garlic!” [07:18]
- They riff on what age children remember seeing parents naked and when to stop cussing: “Cussing is just part of our vocabulary.” [11:06]

4. Child Development, Mimicking, and Screen Time

[11:45–13:58]
- Lucy, their daughter, is babbling—are “oohs and ahs” a developmental milestone? (Turns out it’s just a family thing).
- John: “How’s it going with your oozing?” [12:47] is met with confusion.
- Screen time debate: Alex argues big screens (like old TVs) are not as bad as smartphones for children.

5. Coffee Shop Vibes & Dr. Seuss on Hallucinogens

[19:06–22:43]
- They critique a poorly designed local coffee shop for its lack of coziness. “I felt like I was at a deli,” John complains [19:42].
- Alex reads Dr. Seuss for the first time since childhood and suspects he was “for sure on drugs.” [21:06]
- Witty banter ensues about hallucinogens: “I would love to do shrooms one day,” Alex jokes. [21:30]
- Memorable riff on Dr. Seuss’s “trippy” worlds.

6. Why “Assholes” Live Longer & The Importance of Therapy

[23:22–25:39]
- John theorizes blunt people (assholes) live longer because they don’t internalize feelings—“Nice people implode.”
- Both reiterate their credentials: “We don’t give good advice—we don’t know what we’re talking about.” [23:58]
- Alex: “I just let things go. I don’t need to express it to the actual person.” [24:52]

7. Holiday Family Drama: Listener Questions & Advice Corner

[38:30–55:14]

Packed segment with standout listener submissions:
- Boundary Setting with Smokers ([38:30])
  - Mom doesn’t want smoke-exposed relatives holding her baby; Alex and John validate her right to set boundaries—enforce it firmly, even if it upsets in-laws.
    - Alex: “I’m not going to let you hold her reeking of cigar smoke.” [39:05]
- Frequent Moves & Embarrassment ([41:22])
  - Couple debates if moving back home and buying a 3rd house is “dumb.” Alex: No, never make big life decisions based on embarrassment or what others think.
- Holiday Scheduling & In-Law Monopolies ([44:30])
  - Sister’s mother-in-law commandeers all holidays. John and Alex agree: Say something—siblings can take it.
  - John: “It’s your sister, who cares if you offend her?” [44:50]
- Commitment-Phobic Boyfriend ([64:19])
  - Listener’s boyfriend of three years (on and off) refuses family holiday invitations saying, “I’m not sure if you’re my forever person.”
  - John (fuming): “Shut the fuck up! You’re such a bitch. Three years—what a piece of shit.” [64:19–64:47]
  - Alex: “If you’re worried about scaring someone off by being yourself, you’re not with the right person.” [66:42]
- Hosting Dilemmas with a Vandal Cousin-in-Law ([56:31])
  - Family drama: Should a brother-in-law who was arrested for vandalism be allowed at Christmas? Both hosts think the husband’s hard line is overblown unless the vandalism was truly disturbing. “Is he going to spray paint your bathroom? Grasping at straws.” [58:44]
- Holiday Stay Logistics: Parents vs. In-laws ([70:29])
  - Listener prefers her in-laws’ fun, lively house over her parents’ stiff home. John’s practical answer: Get a hotel so neither side feels slighted.
    - “I want the reprieve of my own downtime.” [70:35]
- Sibling Jealousy over Attention at Holidays ([60:22])
  - A listener resents her brother’s girlfriend “stealing the spotlight” from her at family holidays. Both hosts call this “immature”—there’s enough attention to go around.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On commitment:
- John: “You’re with this person for three years...this poor girl's like, I would love to have a little more commitment…what a piece of shit.” [64:19]
On letting it out:
- John: “Assholes live longer because they get everything off their chest.” [23:30]
On advice-giving:
- Alex: “We haven't given a disclaimer in a while that we don’t give good advice on this podcast.” [23:58]
On childish holiday rules:
- John: “I think this is a stupid policy…like, you have certain parties they can go to and then, like, holidays…this is weird.” [60:22]
On talking about family:
- John: “If you’re not comfortable talking to your sibling, I can’t imagine what it’s like in the rest of your life.” [45:32]

Timestamps for Important Segments

01:13–03:47: Men’s clothing rental wish, minimalist wardrobe chat
06:12–08:44: New parent health woes, sleep deprivation stories
19:06–20:25: Coffee shop vibe discussion
21:06–22:43: Dr. Seuss and “psychedelic children’s lit”
23:22–25:39: Emotional honesty, “why assholes live long”
38:30–55:14: Advice questions—smoking boundaries, moving homes, holiday monopolizing in-laws, family attention issues, hosting “vandal” relative, and the commitment-shy boyfriend blowup
64:19–66:59: “Forever person” boyfriend teardown
70:29–73:59: In-law sleepover/hotel logistics at holidays

Final Recommendations & Listener Takeaways

Set firm boundaries with family, even if it’s uncomfortable.
You’re never the “asshole” for protecting your peace or your child’s health.
Don’t let embarrassment dictate life moves.
Be honest with siblings, especially about feelings over holiday traditions.
If a partner is ambiguous about commitment after years together—listen to their actions and words, and value yourself.

Listener recs:

Good Culture cottage cheese: “The best cottage cheese.” [77:02]
Fisher Price Piano Playmat: Lucy, their baby, is obsessed with it and it buys parents much-needed downtime. [77:53]

Tone: Playful, blunt, sometimes profane—always real and relatable. Alex and John don't sugarcoat, and their banter is as much the show as their actual advice. If you want honest, uncensored, and sometimes outrageous takes on relationships and family life, this episode brings it all.