86. Giving you fresh starts, career crossroads, and hustle guilt

Summary

Episode Overview

Episode Title: Giving you fresh starts, career crossroads, and hustle guilt
Hosts: Alex and Jon
Date: January 13, 2026
Podcast: Give It To Me Straight by Dear Media
Theme:
This episode blends unfiltered relationship anecdotes, honest reflections on parenting, and straight-talk advice about life's crossroads – including career pivots, navigating family boundaries, and overcoming hustle guilt. Alex and Jon draw from their own lives as new parents and entrepreneurs, answering listener questions with their signature candor and humor.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Entering the New Year: Parenting, Vacation, and New Normals

• New Year Mindset & Parenting Realities
  • Alex and Jon reflect on the slow adjustment into the new year, especially as first-time parents.
  • They discuss the difference between taking a vacation before and after having a kid—debating the merits of bringing their daughter, Lucy, on trips and the realities of “vacationing” with a young child.
    • Notable Quote:
      • “Take your kids on vacation and at least they're crying somewhere warm.” – Alex (02:22)
  • Humorous storytelling about taking Lucy to Vegas, their struggles with child travel, and the sheer quantity of “stuff” needed for even a night away.
• Advice for New Parents:
  • Expect travel and trips to feel entirely different post-kids; be strategic, align on expectations, and don’t romanticize what’s fundamentally “work in new locations.”

2. Family Dynamics, Holidays, and Navigating Parenthood

• Holiday Recaps: Chaos and Nostalgia

  • Funny and heartfelt moments from Christmas and New Year’s, including Jon’s dad assuming the role of “Santa” for Lucy, and the family chaos recorded for posterity.
    • Notable Moment:
      • The "Santa/Pepe" confusion—Jon's dad repeatedly forgetting his role, causing both frustration and laughter (04:32-05:18).

• Family Trips and Their Limits:

  • A one-hour drive for New Year's proved surprisingly intense due to the logistics of traveling with kids.
  • Couples often have clashing perspectives on family trips—Alex values memory-making while Jon focuses on logistics and stress.
  • Candidly address the struggle to balance fun, rest, and not feeling guilty for feeling overwhelmed or unhappy during "special" events.

3. Raw Reflections on Their Marriage After Kids

• Real-Time Relationship Check-In

  • Openly discuss their increased arguments, fatigue, and the challenge of liking each other in this “season” of parenting.
    • Notable Quote:
      • “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you think we like each other in this season?” – Alex (08:21)
      • Jon notes: “We are battling a little bit more lately…we're just both mentally tired.” (08:40)
  • Frustration with unsolicited advice (especially about sleep), and how comparison only makes the struggle harder.

• Parental Guilt and Outsider Judgement

  • Both hosts express anger at the societal expectation that hardship is always to be silently endured, especially after trauma or loss.
    • Notable Quotes:
      • “Two things can be true at once…we wanted this, [but] we're never allowed to complain.” – Alex (10:34)
      • “If you think that, drink bleach.” – Alex (10:18, 11:32)

4. Adjusting to New Parent Life: Work-Life Balance

• Milestones and Seeking Help
  • Lucy’s developmental milestones (rolling over!), and the next phases of parenting—considering extra help (nanny, family).
  • The anxiety of bringing a stranger into the home versus relying on family.
• Physical & Emotional Impacts:
  • Parenting’s effect on routines: Jon talks about how having a baby has even disrupted his pooping schedule—humorous, but all too real.
  • Sleep deprivation, changing habits, and conversations about health tech (like the Oura ring).

5. Social Media, Algorithms & Modern Life

• Algorithm Woes
  • Jon’s TikTok/Instagram feeds now filled with disturbing and bizarre videos based on one-time viewership; the couple riff on how algorithms shape what you see and even how you feel.
    • “Your algorithm is kind of like my dreams.” – Alex (22:30)
• Childhood Memories & Social Anxiety
  • Alex shares an anecdote about a childhood bike accident that shaped her perceptions and social anxieties, including comparisons to her sister.

6. Listener Q&A — Fresh Starts & Career Crossroads

[Q&A starts at 37:01]

Hustle Guilt and Productivity (37:01–41:35)

• Listeners ask how Alex and Jon cope with decreased productivity since having Lucy. Both share their struggles with “productivity addiction” and redefining self-worth.
  • “Not looking at taking care of Lucy as being productive hurts.” – Jon (39:00)
  • They admit they’re still working on shifting their mindset and invite listener strategies.

Financial Struggles with a New Baby (43:00–45:30)

• Sacrifice is inevitable if you want to build wealth and a family, especially if you start from a less secure position. The hosts urge listeners to get creative, accept it will be hard, and take pride in smart sacrifices.

Mid-Life Career Change Fears (45:29–48:34)

• Confidence and impostor syndrome are tackled—Alex encourages being “shameless” like her young hustler self, reaching out for what you want. Jon admits it’s hard for some people to even identify their strengths/interests and suggests enlisting friends’ help for perspective.

Stay-at-Home Mom Seeking Remote Work (48:35–51:22)

• Practical suggestions: virtual assistant, online tutoring, managing content or emails for small businesses. Jon also jokes about starting a home daycare for someone who misses having more kids—“best of both worlds.”

Career Change Requiring Family Sacrifice (51:23–53:20)

• Weighing the opportunity cost of a career shift that would mean long absences from home, Alex emphasizes that ultimately, mutual spousal agreement is key; regret for missed opportunities can last a lifetime.

Marriage, Trust, and Deal-Breakers (53:21–58:10)

• One listener describes discovering her husband’s major gambling problem. Both hosts are blunt: this is a severe breach of trust, not what “bad times” in marriage means.
  • “Vows don’t include lying. He broke your vows.” – Alex (54:32)
  • “When you break those vows, these are grounds to be done.” – Alex (55:05)
  • Jon, especially, says plainly: “You know the answer. Everyone’s better off [without him].” (57:18)

Starting a Business vs. Staying Secure (58:29–62:22)

• Entrepreneurship is about more work, not less, but for the right person, it’s more rewarding. Both caution the listener: “Owning a business doesn’t mean more time, just more flexibility.”
• Advice: If you’re going to regret not trying, you have to try.

Family Boundaries, Burnout, and Moving Cities (62:33–69:47)

• In-depth issue: one listener feels crushed under the weight of extended family needs and friend/family drama.
  • Alex: “A move doesn’t fix your problems; boundaries do.” (66:10)
  • Jon is more optimistic about distance helping: “If your husband can’t do it on his own, you do it for him by moving.” (67:10)
  • Both agree: mastering “no” as a sentence is essential.

Fun, Lighthearted Qs

• Dating the boss’s son in secret: Jon, tongue-in-cheek—“Stick with it! Marry up!” (70:38)
• Life hacks and recommendations: keep it simple. (black coffee at Starbucks, minimize decision-making).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parenting and Marriage:
  • “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you, like, think that we like each other in this season?” – Alex (08:21)
  • “We are battling a little bit more lately…we're both just mentally tired.” – Jon (08:40)
• On Social Criticism:
  • “Two things can be true at once…we wanted this, [but] we're never allowed to complain.” – Alex (10:34)
  • “If you think that, drink bleach.” – Alex (10:18, repeated humorously throughout follow-up conversation)
• On Productivity After Kids:
  • “Not looking at taking care of Lucy as being productive hurts.” – Jon (39:00)
• On Relationship Dealbreakers:
  • “Vows don’t include lying your vows. Like you. He broke your vows.” – Alex (54:32)
  • “I'm supposed to just forgive that because we're married? That doesn't give you a pass to do whatever you want.” – Alex (55:02)
• On Cringe and Hustle:
  • “I cringe at that, but I'm also very proud of who I was then because I had no shame.” – Alex (30:12)
• On Family Boundaries:
  • “No is a sentence.” – Alex (70:09)

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 02:22 – Parenting “vacation” debate; travel with babies
• 04:32 – The Santa/Pepe family call story
• 08:21 – Relationship check-in: how much do we like each other in this season?
• 10:18 – “Drink bleach” as a retort to rude social commenters; discussion about parenthood complaints
• 15:04 – Lucy’s milestones and the dilemma of outside help
• 20:09 – Jon’s struggle with sleep, health, and the Y (YMCA) crowd
• 21:23 – Social media algorithm “hellscape”
• 37:01 – Listener Q&A begins
• 39:00 – Productivity guilt with a new baby
• 43:21 – Getting out of financial holes post-baby
• 45:29 – Career change fears in your 30s
• 48:35 – Remote work for a stay-at-home mom
• 51:23 – Career leap requiring family separation
• 53:21 – Husband’s addiction – when is it grounds for divorce?
• 58:29 – Risking a stable job for entrepreneurship
• 62:33 – Burnout, boundaries, and whether a move will fix family issues
• 70:28 – Secret relationship with the boss’s son
• 71:03 – Life hack: just get black coffee
• 73:44 – Final wrap-up and recommendations

---

Tone and Dynamic

The conversation is raw, self-deprecating, and honest—as always. Alex and Jon riff, tease, and occasionally argue lightheartedly, while still addressing the vulnerable realities of marriage, parenting, work and personal growth. Their advice is grounded, a bit irreverent, and always direct, with plenty of laughter offsetting the heavier topics.

---

Conclusion

This episode brings practical, no-BS advice for anyone navigating new chapters—be it in parenting, career, or relationships. With a blend of comic relief and sincerity, Alex and Jon remind listeners that growth is uncomfortable but necessary, and that self-compassion (and a sense of humor) are as valuable as any practical strategy.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Vows don't include lying your vows. Like you. He broke your vows. And so when you talk about marriage in good times and in bad, it's when you're dealing with something again, like a loss. It's when you're falling on a good.

[B]

Partner, not a shitty partner. And welcome back to Give it to Me Straight.

[A]

I'm Alex.

[B]

And I'm John.

[A]

And we're your gray shoes.

[B]

Gracious, gracious, gracious.

[A]

Don't you feel like we're officially now into the new year?

[B]

Officially. Cuz we are.

[A]

I feel like in the beginning, it's like a slow burn into the new year. Now it's like we're fresh, we're ready to go.

[B]

I was refreshed. I don't know. Refreshed? Refreshed? No, I just saw myself in the mirror. By the way. You like, you know when you. A regular mirror with like low light, like, you look, you look fine. But then when you see yourself in like a bright light.

[A]

4K.

[B]

The amount of hair I have on my nose, I got, I got all this hair up my nose. My lips are cracked and bleeding.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

The cold weather is not kind to you. The cold has nothing to do with the fact that like, I have a mustache. But like, it just. The winter is for just being inside, inside.

[B]

And I think I want to get out.

[A]

I know, like, but that's why people hibernate. Like, I get it. The life of a bear.

[B]

The fact that I'm willing to like go on a walk is wild. I hate walks.

[A]

Should we plan a trip?

[B]

We should probably plan somewhere warm. Oh yeah.

[A]

Should we just go to like Miami? We could take Lulu.

[B]

Oh, that's the thing. There we go. We could go on a two day trip. Just usually two days, two nights. That's enough.

[A]

She wants to experience the warmth.

[B]

It's not vacation. I'll die on this hill.

[A]

I'm not saying it's vacation. It's just like, if we're gonna like, she's still part of our lives now, John. Like, you can't just like escape.

[B]

I will travel with her as much as you want. When she's older and could talk to us. Right now, like right now in the moment, it's, it's like, why even leave? It's not fun.

[A]

Because if we're gonna like, at least be taking care of her, let's be somewhere warm and nice.

[B]

I, I feel like there's two different sides that I see all the time about that people are like, take Your kid, bring your kids on vacation, be miserable. Take your kids on vacation and at least they're crying somewhere warm.

[A]

But like, I love that we took her to Vegas because seeing her see the lights, I'm like, oh my God.

[B]

My little angel at three in the morning. Because we trying to keep trying to calm her down.

[A]

What parenthood is, John.

[B]

Yeah, but no, no, the difference is like we set ourselves up for that.

[A]

But we have like work trips that we're going to do without her. So for me I'm just like, if we're going to like electively go somewhere, I want to bring her.

[B]

She's not going to remember. It's like people kids to Disneyland when they're like.

[A]

Because that's not fun for us either. Another trip would be fun. Like that's double not fun.

[B]

Are we going ourselves with her? We bring in someone to help us. You know what I mean?

[A]

Too many questions. Honestly, you just got to, let's just.

[B]

Stay here inside and that's what we'll do.

[A]

And then you'll complain about your chapped lips. My eyes so itchy. I think I got a combi hair in it.

[B]

What is going on? Are we. Do we talk about our New Year's trip?

[A]

I don't believe so. You know one thing that we also didn't talk about, which we forgot to mention on the last episode for Christmas. Is that what you thought I was going to bring up?

[B]

That's. Yeah, dad.

[A]

Oh yeah. Your dad had texted me a video when you were a kid about was you on the phone with Santa. And he said, pepe. So his dad used to always call you and pretend to be Santa.

[B]

Everyone wondering because people did ask. Yeah, I my dad's side, we are like French Canadian. So like his, you know, I called his dad Pepe and my dad. Yeah, before everyone.

[A]

So now your dad is Pepe to Lucy. And so he text me, he's like, I want to be Santa for Lucy. And I was like, you're hired. So I was like, give your dad the heads up. Because even though she is was only three months old, I was like, it still would be fun for her first memory. We'll record it of like on the phone with Santa. So I go give Santa a heads up that we're giving him a call. So you text your dad Santa and you're like, hey, Santa, we're about to call. And then we call. It is the most chaotic ass backwards thing.

[B]

He goes, it's Pepe. I go, nope, it's Santa.

[A]

And he goes, oh, ho.

[B]

Ho.

[A]

It was.

[B]

No, no, no, no. It took multiple, like, cues. Go back. I go, no, it's Pepe. He goes. And I go, no, it's Santa. He goes, no, it's Pepe. I go. I was like, dad, you told me to call you, so you're. Oh, right. Ho, ho, ho.

[A]

And he's like, how's my favorite granddaughter doing?

[B]

I. Dude, I'm telling you, I swear, I think my dad's with me. I think my dad is secretly, like, the most intelligent man ever, and he's just purposely torturing me because there's no.

[A]

Way Lucy's not gonna remember it. But I will remember that. And I peed my pants laughing so hard because how frustrated you were getting with your dad on the phone in real time. It was so funny.

[B]

And it was filmed, so I can't wait to look back at it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. Anyways, so New Year's, rented a house out, had some family, and I just come to the conclusion, I'm not trying to be Mr. Scrooge, but it was. It was only like an hour away from us. Hour and a half from us. This house, Airbnb. You had to, like, go in. Yeah. You know, bring all your. In for having one kid. I can't believe how much we have in the car. And I thought we were minimalists when it comes to that. Yeah, but just like between Lucy, your cousin, their kids, I was like, this is. I rather. I was talking to your cousin's husband. I'm like, yeah, we should just. This should have been a day thing. He's like, oh, 100%.

[A]

Well, because unless it's, I guess, for a week to lug all that because you're lugging the same shit whether it's one night or for a whole week.

[B]

Thank God it was only two nights. Thank God.

[A]

I mean, I thought it was still. Again, I think that those things are worth it because to me, like, the memories of that are more than what it would be if we just stayed in our house.

[B]

No, no, we should still could have gone to, like, a vineyard or something and spent time together and bonded during the day.

[A]

We wouldn't have seen the snow in the morning and enjoyed the hot tub and had coffee and difference between outside.

[B]

Seeing the snow in the morning. Don't have a snow thing for the car. Had to use cousins. It's freezing outside. I have a sweatshirt. You were inside.

[A]

Just make it work.

[B]

Then Alex got sick.

[A]

It's fine. See you just like. You can't let this stress you out, John. Cuz then life Will just stress you out.

[B]

Okay. You are mixing up stress and frustration.

[A]

I think they fall in the same camp.

[B]

I was not stressed. I was more so, like, stress is going to the airport with Lucy. That's stress.

[A]

No, that's not.

[B]

Frustration is like, why are we here again?

[A]

We planned it, like, just.

[B]

It's a learning experience. It's a learning experience, I think.

[A]

So you just don't want to do anything?

[B]

No, it's not. It's not that. I'm.

[A]

Because I don't want to now, like, bring you to do things because then you're going to be like, it's a learning experience and we're never doing it again. Because, like, that's how you were with the airport. You're like, oh, this was horrible. Whenever. Even though Lucy slept the whole time and was an angel. What was so horrible about it? Same thing with this trip. Like, yeah, we brought a lot of stuff, but it was fun.

[B]

I'm not blaming. I'm not blaming Lucy.

[A]

And we're never doing it again.

[B]

She is teething right now, so that's a whole different story.

[A]

Take her on girls trips. Like, I will leave you at home, and then you could go on your own trips and then I'll just bring Lucy and we can.

[B]

I can't wait. Because the thing that Alex likes to forget is I'm the one carrying all the shit. So. Yeah, go on your girls.

[A]

Okay, well, I carried her for nine months, so it's just.

[B]

You carry seven pounds, not 35 pounds.

[A]

Seven pounds. I wish it was only seven pounds on my body. Yes, she was only seven pounds. Hey, I don't feel bad for you.

[B]

I don't. I don't ask you to feel bad. I just say, like, your perspective of something is completely different from mine. Because my task is different than your task.

[A]

I'm like, we're. We're sharing it just because, like, you're the task oriented. Like, okay, I have to put this stuff in the car. I'll switch with you if you want to hold her and give her your boob.

[B]

Just. Everyone knows this is us just jokingly venting. Don't think we're getting a divorce.

[A]

Who knows? I was going to ask you on this podcast because this is our therapy session. On a scale of like, 1 to 10, how much do you, like, think that we like each other in this season? I know people have said, like, do not use the D word. The first year of having a kid.

[B]

Just the season we're in, I definitely think we are battling a little bit more Lately and it's more. I, I know we're just both mentally tired. Lucy's starting to teeth now. First off, everyone who has a kid that's sleeping through the night, like fuck you. I'm so, I'm just like so jealous like right off the rip, like your kid's sleeping through the night. We've not had that. We have not had that one.

[A]

She slept one night through the night.

[B]

I think like at least two nights randomly where it's like two seven hour eight.

[A]

She did nine the other night.

[B]

Sure. Once one offs, you know, it's just, we just can't figure it out and I know we probably won't. That's fine.

[A]

No, but I think again every kid is different. Like Lucy, thankfully. I feel like she's generally a happy baby.

[B]

Saves us. That's our fail safe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But now it's like, oh, we're hitting that four month stretch and I felt like we were kind of starting to get maybe in a little groove with sleeping getting better. Like we don't have to like let her cry or anything. And now it's teething. So now it's a new. She's miserable. When it's later that I guess what I read is like during the day it's fine, but then at night that's when it really. She starts getting agitated with her teeth.

[A]

I truly feel you had mentioned this. I think in the beginning of us having Lucy having a baby is like starting a new business. And like we have started a few with each other and so now just navigating this new. It's growing pains. It's just growing pains. And I think it will be for a while just how any new business is because like we were running into new challenges now and then like just when you think like you have it figured out, a new obstacle comes forward and we're like, I feel like we.

[B]

Need to give a disclaimer because I saw someone message like, well you asked for this. Like no shit. This isn't dude, this is not people.

[A]

Making those comments like not just to us, but to anybody who's for this actually up eat, take a whole gallon of bleach. Drink it.

[B]

Oh, a whole bag of dicks.

[A]

No, a whole gallon of bleach. And drink it. Because unless like you are a parent or have like tried to become a parent, like two things can be true at once. Like we went through an extremely traumatic loss. Like yes, we wanted this. So now like we're never allowed to complain about like what the, the challenges of parenthood are Well, I think the.

[B]

Difference is we are, we're great informative of like, what's going on in our life. It's. I'm not. It's complaining, but it's kind of like giving information because there's a lot of listeners that we have that are in the same, you know, time as us with their, with their kids. So it's kind of just like telling our experience. If I didn't, I would have nothing to talk about. So this is what we're going to talk about.

[A]

We went through our loss and then people, that was what they said. Like, if I was like, wow, I'm really heartbroken. I went through this loss. And you're like, well, that's what happens when you try to have a family. You could fucking go through loss.

[B]

That's.

[A]

You asked for that.

[B]

People are really, really stupid.

[A]

That's what I. And so just because, like, we're experiencing life. Yeah, we did ask for this and now we're talking about it. Drink Bleach.

[B]

It is a podcast.

[A]

Drink Bleach. And we love it as much as we're tired. I really do. I do love it.

[B]

Of course. I'm still gonna bitch about it though.

[A]

Don't get it twisted.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

This episode is also sponsored by Nature's Sunshine. I spend a huge portion of my day staring at screens I'm editing on my computer, answering emails, scrolling on my phone, posting, recording. It's pretty non stop. And while I try to be mindful about skin care, Blue light is one of those things that is just impossible to avoid. What I didn't realize for a long time is that blue light doesn't just affect your eyeballs, it also impacts your skin and can contribute to prevent premature aging. That's what got me interested in Nature's Sunshine. Marine Glow. Marine Glow is the only collagen product clinically proven to protect against blue light while supporting both skin and eye health. I love that it's not another complicated step, no 10 step routine. It's just a simple drink you mix into your day. It's made with responsibly sourced marine collagen, which helps reduce the appearance of fine lines and improve skin texture. And if you're skeptical about beauty supplements, I get it. But this one has actually clinical proof behind it. Marine Glow is clinically shown to increase your skin's hydration, reduce oxidative stress from blue light, improve skin elasticity, and strengthen your skin's natural defense against digital aging. Plus, it has a refreshing tropical flavor, which makes it easy to stick with if you spend a lot of time on your computer, phone or want to protect your skin and eyes without overthinking it, this is such an easy ad. Protect your eyes and skin against harmful blue light with marine glow. Get 20% off your first order and free shipping by using checkout code store [e-mail] that's use code [e-mail] this episode is also sponsored by Bobby. One thing I didn't fully appreciate before having a baby is how important it is to feel confident about feeding. Especially when your routine isn't always the same, which is true. It's like when we're traveling, you never know. You're always having to think about timing and food it is all consuming. Lucy is still breastfeeding, but there are times when we're traveling, I'm away and our schedules shifts and having a formula I truly trust makes all the difference. That's why Bobi has been such a big part of our feeding journey. Bobbi's organic European style infant formulas are designed to help parents feed with confidence. No matter what feeding journey you're on, whether you're breastfeeding, combo feeding, exclusively formula feeding, or just want a backup can in the pantry, Bobby is the formula I trust for my baby's bottle. What really stood out to me is how thoughtful Bobbi is about every detail. They only use carefully sourced ingredients backed by proven science and every single batch goes through over 2000 safety and quality checks before it ever leaves. And their US Manufacturing facility. That level of care gives both of us so much peace of mind. Bobi also offers a full suite of recipes that is backed by certifications you could feel good about. USDA Organic EU Organic Clean Label Project Purity Award and Clean Label Project Certified Pesticide Free. It makes those just in case moments feel easy and stress free. They've earned major recognition too, including baby list 2025 top choice organic formula and being named a 2025 top choice by Consumer Reports, which really reinforces how trusted this brand is by parents. Bobby supports all feeding journeys and I love that it takes the pressure off while still feeling really intentional. It's organic, high quality infant formula I feel good about including in our routine. If you want to feed with confidence too, head to hibobi.com that's H I B O B B I E dot com to learn more about Bobby.

[B]

So she's teething. That's one thing. This, this, this beginning this episode is gonna be about Lucy. We haven't, we haven't done any Updates lately. Nothing really else is going on because we're in the trenches right now. Let's see. Lucy's about to roll over. Very close to rolling over. Huge.

[A]

She's so cute.

[B]

I'm assuming that milestone is where she's supposed to be at at like, four.

[A]

Months, I think so. I think it's anywhere from, like three to six months that babies. I don't really know. But that's the other thing, too. I'm not keeping up with, like, the amount of weeks she is. I'm just like, oh, she's like three and a half, four months. But, like, babies hit milestones by weeks. And so I need to, like, start remembering what week she is. But, yeah, she's so cute. She's really determined to roll over. She does, like, this gear up where she, like, puts both her arms and her legs over, and she's like, yeah, and she tries to roll over. It's so cute.

[B]

Other things about Lucy, big thing Alex and I are trying to discuss is, like, if we feel like we need a little bit more help so we can work more, which is a sad thing to say. But then we're both like, we don't want strangers. I don't know. I just don't know if you guys all in that same boat of like, having. Because we. We work from home, so we want a nanny or somebody, like, in home with us, and we have your mom. But it's like, do we need a little bit more help? Is it going to be a family member? Because we don't want, you know, a stranger. And I think it's like that hump of determining what to do, you know, I think we're about to be in that new stage of life because she's going to need more help now. She's no longer just a little, like, marshmallow laying there. She's about to start rolling talk and moving. She's also getting frustrated. Needs more, and she wants to be held all the time, too.

[A]

So, I mean, you could just work and I'll just do all those things with her. Bye. Yeah, again, I think she's. Her needs are going to change, but I. Again, she's, like, growing so quickly. She's gonna end up being squeezed. School in school soon, and then married. So I'm just like. I want to soak in married. Yeah. All this time with her as we can. But while we are sleep deprived, which maybe this is just because you are a little bit tired or maybe because you weren't stressed. You were frustrated when we got the House. New Year's Eve. You like to talk about how I'm a bad driver. You backed up into a tree.

[B]

Branch. Branch.

[A]

A tree branch.

[B]

And then like go back into a whole.

[A]

Well, you didn't hit the. The like, you know, I barely touched it. Trunk of the tree.

[B]

I backed up to get out of the driveway.

[A]

You let me go into traffic while I was eating an ice cream cone. And now.

[B]

No, I didn't.

[A]

Nope. Now you almost killed me and lose.

[B]

We were in a parking lot and.

[A]

You parked and you didn't put into park. I almost went into the main road. Just me and my ice cream cones. Imagine we had a daughter then. Anyway.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But it's okay.

[B]

Cool. You know what Alex did? She clogged a toilet and then got the plunger stuck in the toilet. Boom. Roasted.

[A]

I did do that. Yeah. I don't know. And I'm like, what do I do?

[B]

I am not helping. I'm not helping.

[A]

I didn't want you to help. I was like, what's happening here? I also like.

[B]

I don't. I don't. That's not me.

[A]

I also, like, haven't clogged a toilet at our house yet. We've been here for two years. And so I wasn't sure about shebang.

[B]

A bang in the toilet the width.

[A]

Of the plunger to, like, the hole of the toilet. You probably don't clog the toilet because all your poops are just like straight water.

[B]

Not anymore. Ever since, like, Lucy that. Oh, I know we talk about poop a lot. This is a good question. Because ever since Lucy was born, I don't know if we talked about it.

[A]

I googled it. So, like, we don't have to ask about her pooping.

[B]

No, mine. Oh, no. We're done talking about Lucy's. We're talking about my poop now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I used to be a religious pooper in the morning, getting up coffee poop ever since Lucy. Now I'm not pooping in the morning. I'm pooping at like night. At like 9, 10 o' clock at night.

[A]

It probably has to do with your cortisol levels.

[B]

Like, maybe I'm not drinking more coffee. Stress, maybe. Or that would make you more. You think?

[A]

But maybe just because, like, you're not getting as great of sleep now.

[B]

It has to do something. I looked. Fun fact, John. It was something about sleep. Like, because we're not. Since we're waking up like two to three times a night, we're not getting that REM sleep. And so we're offset on, like, our cycle.

[A]

I guess I should really get you an aura ring. I'd be so interested to, like, compare.

[B]

No, it's going to tell me all this shit wrong with me.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it did tell me when I had Covid.

[B]

It said, you have Covid.

[A]

It didn't say Covid specifically, but it was like, there's major signs that something is impacting your body or, I don't know, something along those lines.

[B]

They also said that when you were pregnant.

[A]

When I had Covid. Not just when I was pregnant. I hit the third trimester and I was like, I think I'm gonna pass away. You.

[B]

I don't have Covid.

[A]

You 100 gave it to me.

[B]

I wouldn't even know if I have code anymore. I've got it so many times.

[A]

Exactly. You weren't feeling that great. You came home. I got sick. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know. And then we said you got it from the Y because no one watches there.

[B]

That's right. The ymca. Yeah, yeah, the Y. Man, it's packed right now. These kids need to go back to college. Well, I'm trying college in high school. Go back.

[A]

I'm sure now the break is over. They probably are back. But if you are implementing. Going to the gym welcome. Even though I don't go. I work out from home. But you should feel like you're able to go. Even though it's packed. Go to the gym, take up space.

[B]

Like, what?

[A]

No, because I feel like some people complain about, like, it being so crowded at the gym. And they're like, it's all these New Year's resolutions. People like, I mean, again, take it up again.

[B]

I could still complain about it, about it being crowded, because it's my life. I go there and I can't get a fucking.

[A]

Oh, I thought you were like, your life is just like, you complaining about things.

[B]

So I'll wait a little bit before I go back.

[A]

You were showing me this video. This is actually what I want to bring up. I don't know what your algorithm is like. I'm not looking at your TikTok or your, like, Explore page on Instagram, like, all the time. Like, the only time that I look is, like, if we're laying in bed and you're, you know, I'm looking over your shoulder. But the. I know that it's fucked up because the amount of times that your face is just horrid. Like, your face half the time looking at your screen while you're scrolling is of disgust or horror.

[B]

I think it's bullshit, though, that you watch one thing, just one time, and it's riddled with that. Prime example is I watch one horror film clip. 1.

[A]

Did you like it?

[B]

No, I don't like. I don't like anything. I just watched it all the way through, and now I have all these, like, trailers to horror movies. The one yesterday was this, like, zombie chick pretending she's, like, an influencer, and she's taking photos. And every time she took a photo, the girl next to her was. An arm was getting snapped in half, her neck, her jaw ripped off. That's. I was like, oh, my God. And then I'm. My friends who sent me, like, NFL clips of guys getting their legs blown off.

[A]

I think just, like, start searching things that you want to see. So puppies.

[B]

Then I got. AI guy's face turns into a fucking omelet or something. It's like, crazy shit. Indian street food. That was me because it's wild.

[A]

I just. Every time I see your face, I'm like, what are you watching?

[B]

Then the Indian street food video turned into Indian guys. I'm. I'm. This is literally. I didn't clear it. It was like, two Indian guys with physical deformities fighting each other.

[A]

Your algorithm is kind of like my dreams. Like, I. Some of them.

[B]

Mine are crazy. Yours are boring. I got a colonoscopy in the mall. Oh, no. I got a coffee without sugar in it. And it was. I got a fight with the.

[A]

Never been my dream. I don't know where you're coming up with that. I've never dreamt that. Trying to think what was my dream? I got lost, I feel like, because I'm not getting good sleep. Like, I do have very vivid dreams. But speaking of your algorithm, you were showing me this mountain biker. Like, you have, like, high adrenaline.

[B]

Not me at all.

[A]

Not you. But. But you did like to mountain bike.

[B]

Not like that guy was on a cliff.

[A]

Yeah, you're. You're waiting.

[B]

I couldn't, like, give me a mountain bike greenway.

[A]

Exactly. Like, I will go on a flat surface, maybe a curb or two.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

But that video, I'm like, you're just waiting to lose all of your teeth. And then it reminded me of going over. Because when I was a kid, I was like, oh, my God. My dad, he loved, like, what are the dirt bikes? Quads. And so there was. We're doing some construction when I was, like, 12 in the backyard. And there was, like, always dirt mounds in my backyard. So. So I took my mongoose. With my pegs on the back. And I went over this dirt mound, no helmet, flipped over the handlebars, but they punctured me in my ovary uterine area.

[B]

The only reason I'm laughing is because I know the end of the story. And unlike Alex, I'm not going to steal the punchline.

[A]

I mean, no, I just, like. It killed me so bad that I was like, I'm never gonna. I'm done with mountain biking. But then I was convinced that that was the reason why I didn't get my period until I was like, 16. My sister got her period before me and I was like, it's because of that fucking mountain. I went over that hill and I flipped over the handlebars. Something's wrong with me. I actually made my mom take me to the doctor once. My sister got her period before me, and I was like, something's wrong with me. I'm a freak. And so I went. I was like, can you just make sure everything's good up in there? And they said, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a late bloomer. Finally got it at 17.

[B]

That's late 17.

[A]

I was so late.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

I know, but that's, I think, like, where I got the tallest. Because, like, I was such a late.

[B]

A bunch of vegetables on your shirt.

[A]

I thought they were peppers, but now looking at them, I think they're peas.

[B]

Looks like a fucking eggplant.

[A]

Do you like it?

[B]

You purposely picked out one. You were like, I want. Yeah, okay. I like your. I like your style. It's an interesting shirt. I don't hate it.

[A]

I don't know that I would say, like, this is my style, but I'm just.

[B]

No, no. Like the structure of the shirt.

[A]

Oh, yes. Yeah.

[B]

It's a summer shirt. Yeah, but you got it for the winter. You chose.

[A]

You chose it cuz it's a sweater, so it keeps me warm in the winter.

[B]

There's got to be a. Rent the Runway for men. There's got to be something like that.

[A]

If you guys know of one. Otherwise, rent the Runway. Listen up. Open up a men's department, please. I don't know why they haven't.

[B]

Cuz guys.

[A]

Guys don't care. We need more men to care. Care more. We need more men to care. Care more men.

[B]

I don't know. I think it's starting to. Style's becoming a thing now. Fashion for men.

[A]

I think it was more of a thing back in like, like the 50s, 60s, 70s. Like, if anything, people care way less.

[B]

No. And they people aren't dressing. They care way more in a different way. In a different way. Baggy is a style. There's styles that men are into now. I mean, because 50 60s are proper dress, suit, tie, and I love that. But that was that fashion then. Fashion now is like hipster bum.

[A]

No, I don't think people care about fashion as much.

[B]

That's fashion. What are you talking about, Mr.

[A]

Fashion?

[B]

Yeah, like, I just got so offended. Like, I'm wearing this viewer a shirt that I've had for four years. You don't know fashion.

[A]

Laziness is a fashion choice.

[B]

It is. Look at Justin Bieber.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But like, fashion.

[A]

Okay, you know what? You're right. I don't know men's fashion, so. And I've said this from.

[B]

Look at Nelly.

[A]

Say anything.

[B]

What. What about when Nelly put the band aid under his eye in the Michael Jordan?

[A]

Whatever. Moving on. What else happened? Any other updates?

[B]

My sister. My sister had her baby boy. Now I'm an uncle. Well, I guess I was an uncle before.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But, like, now you're a blood uncle. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because this is, I think, my first nephew. That's not blood to me, but feels like it. He's such a little peanut. He's so cute.

[B]

I just, like, can't believe everyone. The difference in everyone's like, birth stories and. And I just. I can't imagine being a mom and going through all that. It's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. I think that actually is, like. It was another reminder that everybody's stories and experiences are so different from pregnancy to pregnancy to birth story to baby, you know, you truly cannot compare. Like, if I choose to do one thing, it might end up completely different for someone else because they have a different body like you. It just is wild that everybody's stories are completely different, but happy that they're both healthy and here and we're going to go meet them soon. Another time that we're jumping on a plane with little Lulu head.

[B]

That's different because it's only like an hour flight.

[A]

Right? It will be quick. Well, congratulations, Uncle John.

[B]

Thank you. Congratulations, Uncle Alex. Auntie Al.

[A]

See, like, do you say aunt or aunt?

[B]

Because I say like Auntie Cindy.

[A]

I just hear people, like, pronounce it differently. And I've always grown up saying aunt like my Aunt Lisa or my Aunt Lori.

[B]

No, I say aunt because auntie die. Auntie Di, Auntie Cindy.

[A]

Do you think that's, like, in the same category as, like, someone who says caramel or caramel or tomato?

[B]

Tomato?

[A]

No, because I don't know anyone who says tomato, orange or that? I think it's just. Or orange or orange.

[B]

Orange.

[A]

Orange or orange or orange.

[B]

Do you have something else to say?

[A]

I just. I'm more aware of how things are pronounced these days because I'm also like, what do I want Lucy to grow up saying?

[B]

What I like is when we. We proof the podcast before we post it, and we're. We're watching it, and Alex will be like, I'll say a word. That's not the correct word. What did I say last episode?

[A]

I don't remember, but I was like, I don't think that's correct.

[B]

But you knew what I was saying.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. I think every time we rewatch the podcast, there's something wrong. But that's okay.

[B]

Like, incorrectly. It's like, that's the wrong verbiage.

[A]

But that's all right. We're learning. And if we don't pick it up, someone is going to tell us about it.

[B]

Of course they'll let us know. They'll be, you're wrong. Anything else before we jump in the questions?

[A]

Well, yeah, I was going to say that's the thing about, like, social media in general. It makes you very aware of yourself. It's like you post something and then it's a reflection back on you, and you're like, oh, I didn't realize I spelled this wrong. Or, oh, I didn't realize that this take was so hot. But something recently that has been happening to me, I would say over the past, like, two to three years is okay. People that, like, I followed, whether they were, like, from reality TV or other shows, if they follow me back, like, cool, great. It's when they message me that it brings up history of the past when I had messaged them when we were wedding videographers. If you got engaged, nobody was safe. I was in your DMs, and I truly was like, I don't care if the worst that people could say is no. But now these people follow me back, and now they message me, and it will bring up an old message that I sent in, like, 2019.

[B]

And I'm like, hey, we'd love to film your wedding.

[A]

Like, literally, if you need a wedding videographer, I think it's happened to, like, seven different people. You know, I mean, yes. And I think that that's the difference is, like, I cringe at that. But I'm also very proud of who I was then because I, like, truly had no shame, and I was willing to do whatever it, like, whatever to.

[B]

Get after it now you can reach out to people and you don't want to talk to anybody.

[A]

So true. I know. And I'm just like, nobody end up in my DMs.

[B]

We could probably be friends with Jason Momoa right now if we wanted to.

[A]

Probably not, but maybe again, like, but 2019, me would have ended up in his D and be like, jason, if you get married, I would happily film your wedding. Unhappily split that wedding up, me and my husband John. But like, listen, if it doesn't work out. But yeah, I. It's always a cringe moment when I'm like, I asked to do your wedding too. But I. But again, I'm cringed but. But proud of the hustle that I had back then.

[B]

You were grinding.

[A]

I know. And I think it really, like, led us to where we ended up in the wedding industry and like, kind of where we are today. Because you cut. You have to be shameless in order to grow.

[B]

It's a good conversation piece. Too big. Oh, I noticed that you messaged me five years ago.

[A]

I think I did that. It was with Hannah Burner, because I don't know when she got engaged, but I. She had messaged something and then it popped up. She goes, oh, didn't even see that. I'm like, the offer still stands. Do you want to re. What is it?

[B]

Renew your vows.

[A]

Renew your vows. I'm here for you. But that's what we're talking about today is hustle culture. Like, you know, not tying your self worth to productivity. Just like fresh starts. Financially, a lot of things, like career pivots, stuff like that. Because it is the beginning of the year.

[B]

It's a good time.

[A]

Yeah, good time.

[B]

Start fresh. Quit your job.

[A]

Maybe. Maybe it's not a good idea to quit your job, but we could talk about it in your questions. Shall we dive in?

[B]

Let's do it. And this podcast is also sponsored by good wipes. It's 2026, and I have a genuine question. Why did we ever think dry toilet paper was enough? Because once you switch, there's absolutely no going back, which is why I'm proudly participating in Wet January. And honestly, every month after that. I'm talking about Good wipes, Alex. My favorite flushable wipes for the restroom. Toilet paper doesn't actually get you clean. It kind of just smears things around you. And I wouldn't wash my hands without water, so why are we pretending that's fine here? Good wipes clean so much better than toilet paper. And now I truly hate going to the bathroom without them. They're perfectly moist, actually cleansing and feel way better. I honestly don't understand how we all accepted dry scratchy toilet paper for so long. These are wipes made for adults, not baby wipes and they're actually flushable. Made with plant based fibers that break down easily, they're super gentle for sensitive skin, no irritation, no weird film, just clean. They also smell great. I love the Shea Cocoa and Botanical Bliss scents and they're extra large like 40% bigger than other wipes which you appreciate immediately.

[A]

You need that.

[B]

I need yes, softer, better ingredients and just all around Upgrade to your restroom routine. So let's leave dry toilet paper in 2025. Grab Good Wipes at Target or Walmart to upgrade your restroom routine as a special offer for Give it to Me Straight listeners, Good Wipes is giving you your first pack for free. Buy any package in store, text them your receipt and get reimbursed almost immediately. For more details, head to good wipes.com straight again, that's good wipes.com/straight to snag a free pack of good wipes.

[A]

This episode is also sponsored by Parallel Ever wonder why your prenatal vitamins stays the same when your body is changing so much during pregnancy? Well, I definitely did. When I was pregnant. I realized pretty quickly that what my body and my baby needed in the first trimester wasn't going to be the same as what I needed later on. But I was still taking the same exact geriatric prenatal every single day. That's when I discovered Parallel. It immediately made more sense. Parallel actually changes their formula as you move through each trimester of pregnancy, so your vitamin routine evolves right along with you. Instead of buying multiple bottles, googling doses and trying to figure out what I should be taking, Parallel gave me everything I needed in one simple daily pack designed for my exact stage. It was a prenatal routine that finally felt straightforward. What really set Parallel apart for me was the trust. Parallel is the first OB GYN founded vitamin company and all their products are formulated by an OB GYN using research backed ingredients in doctor recommended doses. I wanted to know exactly what I was putting in my body during pregnancy and that expertise mattered to me. Each daily pack contains a comprehensive vitamin routine with trimester specific formulas that support you through the first, second and third trimesters. They even offer a conception support pack to help prepare your body for pregnancy, which I love because it truly meets you where you are. Parallel took the guesswork out of prenatals for me and that Peace of mind was everything exclusive for our listeners. New customers can enjoy 20% off their first order with code straight. Visit parallel health.com that's P E R E L E L H E A L T H for 20% off and.

[B]

This podcast is also sponsored by no CD. We all have doubts sometimes about our relationships, our choices, even ourselves. That's normal. But imagine if those doubts never shut up if they play it on a loop in your head, no matter how much reassurance you tried to give yourself. For some people, that can look like constantly questioning whether your partner is really the one analyzing every interaction or avoiding intimacy because unwanted disturbing thoughts come up that feel totally out of character. Experiences like these can actually be signs of ocd. OCD is often misunderstood. It's not about being neat or organized. Real OCD is a serious condition where unwanted, distressing thoughts called intrusive thoughts get stuck on repeat. These thoughts are often taboo or upsetting and tend to focus on the things we care about most, like our relationships, identity or health. To cope, people with OCD often feel driven to do certain behaviors like seeking reassurance, following specific routines or or avoiding situations altogether. The problem is those behaviors only bring short term relief and trying to fight those thoughts usually makes them come back stronger. The good news is that OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. What works is Exposure and Response Prevention therapy or erp, not standard talk therapy, which can sometimes make things worse. Nocd, pronounced NO C D, is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment. The they're licensed therapists, specialize in ERP and are trained by world renowned experts to help you take the power away from intrusive thoughts so you can live the life you want to live. Therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and includes support between sessions so you're never facing OCD alone. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with NOCD, go to nocd.com and book a free call. That's nocd.com?

[A]

Question 1 I am pregnant with my first baby and have always judged myself on how much I get done in a day. Are you less productive now with Lucy? How do you deal with not being as productive?

[B]

I feel you. I feel you. Yeah, I definitely judge myself off of like if I game at night I feel because I feel good. I'm like I did a lot today.

[A]

We would always say that prior to having Lucy if the busier the day that we had work wise and the More productive of our day. We felt like we deserved to watch a show at the end of the night or like so toxic it was, it was more enjoyable because it was more well deserved the harder that we worked.

[B]

But yeah, I guess if you had to have a. That's a trade I'll take if I have to verse other traits of like not being caring to be productive or whatever. Whatever. Because I mean that's probably why we're at where we are because we grind. But it is like a double edged sword because then you're like you're just addicted to grinding always.

[A]

And then when we would have time off, you feel lazy and it's like you need to rest in order to be recharged to work. And so.

[B]

But it makes me almost depressed. What not working, not working, not doing something even like on a day off, I feel like a piece of that I'm not doing something which is not good.

[A]

No. But I also feel like if that's what you enjoy doing, like this break was actually really hard for me because I was trying to just lean into rest and like just focus on Lucy. And like I love spending time with Lucy, but part of me is like you need to be doing more. Like there's still laundry that could be done or these closets that need to be organized or like these emails that need to be sent. It's like this gnawing feeling and I'm like if that's going to be there anyway, do we just do it to like knock it off the list? Because it almost takes up more brain space in your head just telling you of all these things you have to do anyway.

[B]

I mean you could take your time doing it. Maybe that's the difference. Instead of trying to like rush to get something done just like you're doing it but at your own pace. So it's not as like performative.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My other thing is not having a kid. I don't, I don't like the fact that I'm not looking at taking care of Lucy as being productive.

[A]

But it is because.

[B]

Because it is. I don't get the same feeling at night because we're we. It was just the two of us. Her because it's holidays, her mom hasn't been around. We us watching Lucy all day long, you know, as any parent would do. But I don't feel that sense of accomplishment at the end.

[A]

I don't think that that's unique to just us. I think a lot of people, like I've seen that before where it's like if you feel like you got nothing done today, like, remember, you spent quality time with your child. You kept this baby alive. You. And then, like, for your baby's perspective, it's like, I got to spend, of course, all this.

[B]

No, no, no. I, I.

[A]

And that's what I'm saying. Like, it's not necessarily unique to us. It's just, like, a thing that a lot of people deal with.

[B]

But, like, going off, like, her question, you got to think that. But I guess the difference is, like, once we get done shooting this podcast, for example, I'm going to feel so productive and energized for some reason, because I got something done off a list where, like, I don't look at it that way with Lucy. I wonder how to change that mindset.

[A]

We can't help you with that because we're still struggling with that ourselves.

[B]

So if you have any suggestions. Yeah, let us know. Give it to us straight, because I would like to think that way, because we really are, like, we are growing our child. We're teaching her, we're showing her love. We're making sure she's.

[A]

And it feels productive because, like, by the end of the day, I'm like, we did so much with her.

[B]

No, that's my difference. I don't feel productive from it.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I should.

[A]

No, I'm saying we're tired at the end of the day because we did do so much with her, but it doesn't feel like we did. Like, it's still exhausting. You're saying you're not tired from it?

[B]

No, no, no. I. You said the word productive. I was like, I don't feel productive from it, but, like, being exhausted. That's the thing, which is weird. We're exhausted from doing that with Lucy all day. We could be working the same amount of time. Eight hours of working eight hours versus being with Lucy. And I'm energized. I'm actually energized even at the end of the night because I feel so good from knocking off all these tasks during the day versus Lucy. I'm mentally just shot, I think, because.

[A]

It'S also such high stakes with her. It's like keeping her alive.

[B]

And then, you know, you know what it is? It's not check. Some people are like me. You know what I am. What is it called?

[A]

Task oriented.

[B]

Task oriented. Where if I check this off the list, we don't have to shoot the podcast again until, like, next week, we shoot an ad. Whatever. Like, we're done with Lucy. It's just A repetitive, unknown, continuous.

[A]

Well, and that's what it is. Where we were saying earlier in the podcast, it's like a new business because it's like when you. It's like when you start a new job and it is more exhausting and it's more stressful because you're learning something new and it's not like a routine yet. Like, you don't know exactly what you're doing. And in a sense it's more exhausting but, like, more rewarding because you're like, I'm learning this new task and that is hard. You're not going to grow until, like, you do harder things. But yeah, I think because there's no direct output of a successful, like, measurement. Like, there's no direct result of Lucy, but maybe like when she rolls over, we're like, oh, my God, did we help her with that?

[B]

I actually think I would think more the. A direct outcome.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Would be if we had a routine of like, I play with her. I. I wear her out to where I know her bedtime. She does go to bed at 7:30. Like, I know we have unpredictable. I know, I know. But that would probably be a measurement I could base off of.

[A]

But I think the measurement is not going to be until like, she's older. And then like, we're going to be like, we did it. You know, like, that's like where parents are like, wow, we really put all the work in and, and look at her now. It's worth it. So we just have to get through like, 20 to 30 more years.

[B]

President of the United States.

[A]

I don't want that position for her.

[B]

I don't think she is the head actress of er. No.

[A]

Whatever she wants to do. If she, like, wants to do this.

[B]

She runs the Red Cross and Peace Corps.

[A]

Whatever she wants to do. I'm not going to like, try to put her in a box. Next question. My husband and I just had our first baby, but we didn't put ourselves in the best financial position. How do we get out of it while also not fully sacrificing family time? We both don't want to miss out on her first year, but our goal is to buy a house in the next two years.

[B]

There's two ways of looking at stuff where it's like you, you always want to wait till the right time to do something and then that right time's never going to happen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So you took the leap. It's. It's going to work out. But don't. I don't. I hope you don't look at it like, oh, we should have waited till we're more financially stable and, and able to provide better, whatever, because everyone, it's too late. And also everyone's life plan is different. What's the question? How to get out of that hole or how to.

[A]

Yeah, like, how do you get out of the not being in the best financial position while not fully sacrificing family time? I think that's hard because honestly, if you want to grow financially in your career or in your business, you do have to sacrifice time. And I think, like, I'm not going to be like, we had the foresight to do that, but like, we did. We were like, we are not going to start a family.

[B]

I didn't want to bring it back to us. But to be honest, that's how you do it. We sacrificed one full. We sacrificed two years basically when we were in your grandmother's basement of no fun time. No fun time grinded. And like, I guess it's kind of tooting our horn, but, like, that's what you have to fucking do if you want to get ahead. But now you have a kid, I.

[A]

Feel like the, the analogy of doing this is like, it's like two people running a marathon. You could both do it, but like, when you start a family or decide to have kids, like, you're adding an extra weight on. So like, you have a weighted vest. So you versus the person who doesn't have the weighted vest. It's going to take you a little bit longer to run this marathon. Like, it's not saying you can't do it, but, like, you're going to have a lot of. You're going to have a harder time going as fast as that person who doesn't have this extra weight on them. It's still going to be rewarding. It's not saying that you can ever do it, but like, you're going to have to make extra sacrifices.

[B]

That's the main thing. Figure out where you could sacrifice to get to your goal faster, whether it's le. Financially less going out to eat, doing whatever, cook at home, doing things while.

[A]

The kids are sleeping. You know, it might be less sleep for you. It might be early.

[B]

Get a remote job so you can be at home. You can do two things at once. Like, it's going to be tough, but that's how you're going to do it. No one's. You're not going to be able to do less or do what you're doing to get to your. Your goal. Any faster.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So something's gonna have to give.

[A]

Next question. I'm in my late 30s and trying to switch my career, but I struggle with confidence and figuring out how to move forward. I've changed careers before and didn't hesitate as I tended to take risks when I was younger. I'm applying to jobs in different industries, but haven't gotten any interviews yet. Overall, I feel overwhelmed and worried I won't find a new job. How do you overcome fears and concerns about what others think? Especially since I often compare myself to my twenties. This goes back to me just being shameless and sending DMS to people. You truly just have to. I don't want to say fake it until you make it.

[B]

No, you definitely figure to you.

[A]

But like, there is something to that where you just have to act confident. Put yourself in these situations to feel uncomfortable. And you learn so much until you're comfortable.

[B]

Are you more so like referring or just like reaching out to people to try to get a job?

[A]

Yeah, just like. Or just being so. Ask for what you want, you know? And if you're applying to a job that you want or switching. Trying to switch a career, reach out. Be so ruthless and like, shameless about.

[B]

I think she's trying to figure out what she wants to do, though. That's so tough that. That's tough to even know. Like, say what we're doing now is done tomorrow. I'd be like, what. Where do I even go? What would I even do to even. What would be my next job?

[A]

Do you think that's like a personality thing? Because I can think of like 18 different things I would do.

[B]

Your cousin, for example, his. His wife, she wants a. And she's like, we were on the phone. She's like, I don't know, like, what's my traits? What would be a good fit for me?

[A]

Maybe this is a new job for me is helping other people figure out what they should do for work.

[B]

To be honest, the only reason I did occupational therapy is for my mom. I had that really shitty job beforehand. I got that gun pulled on me, and I'm like, I probably need to get a new job.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, 15 an hour wasn't worth my life. And then I was like, I don't know what to do. My mom's like, health care. Do this and then just push me in that direction. Because some people need a nudge or. Or help that. Maybe that is a good job for you. Because I would. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know what to do when.

[A]

You told me that you were an occupational therapist when we first met. I didn't know what that was and I thought that you were literally a therapist to help people with their jobs. So maybe I'll start an occupational therapist job. This is no shade to occupational therapists. Your jobs are very important. And I'm not taking.

[B]

You're not calling it occupational therapist.

[A]

Okay. But I will call it like occupational direction.

[B]

So you're Monster Inc.

[A]

They. They just put people. What do you mean? That's. That's not Monsters Inc.

[B]

I think they just like a LinkedIn.

[A]

Sure. Alex in.

[B]

What was the thing that we wanted to come up with and ended up being like Dr. Phil?

[A]

Oh. Where we were like a talk show where people like to hash out their.

[B]

Let's get a talk show where people go on and they stage and talk.

[A]

To each other about their issues and they hash it out live.

[B]

We're like, wow. Wow.

[A]

It wasn't. Yeah, I mean, I guess that is Dr. Phil, but we said it was Jerry Springer or Maury.

[B]

Oh, right, right, right.

[A]

Yeah. I think honestly, maybe ask your friends because sometimes the people closest to, you know, like, can see you in a different perspective and they might be good at telling you what skills you have and what you can do.

[B]

True.

[A]

Next question. I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom of 3 and wife to a full time working husband in construction. My kids are in school full time and life didn't exactly go as planned. We thought we'd have more kids, but unfortunately we won't be able to have any more. I feel like I have to find my new identity and everything ends up being a dead end. I want to work from home so that I don't have to find child care during the summer. But any remote job ads I found end up being a scam. Any advice on what I could do from home? Choosing my own hours to contribute financially to our family.

[B]

I mean, I was going with telehealth jobs. Maybe telehealth can. You could do something in that, but then you need a health care degree.

[A]

I think it depends on what your personal skills are. Like, are you creative? Because you could do graphic design. You could do social. Like you could do video editing at home.

[B]

Online assistant.

[A]

Yeah, you could be a virtual assistant. You could work with a business and become their social media manager where you like create their content calendar or handle their emails or answer phone calls for people. Like, I just feel like not everything is a scam and sometimes maybe just reach out to people who, you know, I feel like that's the easiest way to get a job is through your own personal network. Put your feelers out there. If you know someone who's running a business, just be like, hey, do you need help managing your inbox?

[B]

I'll just say the obvious here. You want to have more kids? You can't have more kids. Your kids are at home. You want to be at home with your kids, Do a nanny service, Watch other people's kids at your house.

[A]

Well, her kids are in school. She wants something, I guess. Yeah, like where you can choose your own hours.

[B]

Well, she said she wants to be at home in the summer so she doesn't need daycare. Yeah, so do have your own daycare. Get some more kids in there.

[A]

You could do tutoring to filling you.

[B]

Because you want to have more kids. You can have other people's younger kids there and.

[A]

Or if you don't want to like watch other people's kids again. Like you could teach other people's kids. Okay.

[B]

You know, at this point, beggars can't be choose well.

[A]

And that's, that's what I'm saying.

[B]

Like you want to have a job, whatever the fuck's out there that you could stay at home, do it. So watch the people's kids. You want to have more kids, you can't have more kids. So here you go, Best of both worlds. You get to be home and watch people's. Other people's kids.

[A]

I think that's the tough part too, about people complaining. Yeah. And it's like, I want this, this, this, I want it to be remote, blah, blah, blah. You can't, you're not going to get every single thing that you want. Truly. Like, you're going to have to make a sacrifice somewhere. But that's why I'm like, look inwards. Think about like what your skills are as an individual. Because it's not going to. I can't.

[B]

Some of my friends who are like, want fucking Beyonce as their girlfriend. I'm like, Beyonce. Beyonce doesn't want to be with your disheveled ass. Okay. It's like people always like trying to like just start bring it down a notch.

[A]

Work is work. At the end of the day, it's work. Even if you love what you do, it's still work. Still work. It's still work. Next question. I, 31, female, potentially have a chance to drastically change careers. However, this would require me to do a five month out of state training, leaving my husband and two young boys. I would be able to visit on the weekends. Or they could fly out during the training period. But I can't help but feel selfish for even considering this. We would also potentially have to move out of state, depending on where my first job would be. My older son is from a previous relationship, so we'd be moving away from him for a minimum of two years, obviously with long visits. But this is an added element to the decision. Maybe it's the societal pressure to stay, since I'm a mom and need to be home for the kids and the husband and we would be uprooting ourselves family. This opportunity would benefit our financial future immensely. And I feel like I finally found a career that I would truly enjoy. Do you think the future outcome is worth all the sacrifice and hardship we'd be making now?

[B]

Is your husband cool with it? How old are the kids? Because, like, they're. I feel like before I moved in. Second grade. I mean, you're fine. Elementary school, upper room.

[A]

It's more like leaving your older son. That I would be legally.

[B]

Are you allowed to.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know, like, custody reasons or purposes or whatnot. But like, that, I think is more of a personal decision. Like, I can't tell you, like, what's right or wrong there. Expectations. That's so personal. But I think if this is something that you're leaning towards, it's hard to, like, I don't think that you should have guilt. Like, men go overseas in the military leaving their families behind all that, leaving their pregnant wives behind. You know, it's like. I think that you have a point here on saying, like, is it just because you're the mom and you should, like, stay at home?

[B]

Not that part, but I just. None of this matters. If your partner's not down for it, you're gonna have to really figure out what to do financially. I. I mean, if it's gonna help you out significant significantly, then I personally would do it if I. If I could.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If everyone is on board, then, yeah, I would go. But you're gonna have to figure that out because I know. I know people who had these opportunities didn't take them, and then they're like, living with regret.

[A]

Yeah. And I think that that's a big question too. If you're. If you're gonna look back and wish that you did take this opportunity, maybe it's something to do. But, like, you do have other people who are gonna be impacted. It really. Something like, this is such a personal choice, but you have to do it with complete conviction, without outside opinions from other people. Like, except for Your partner, like that's who matters in this. Both of you guys making this decision together. Next question. A little over a year ago, my husband came to me and told me that he had a gambling problem and had lost all of our savings and was about 90k in debt. And he admitted to lying to me for about two years before this Divorce.

[B]

Him, I don't need to hear the rest of what a fucking loser.

[A]

And how much he had in his savings. He kept telling me, don't worry what I have, we're fine. We could buy a retirement home. He also accused me of wanting to know what he had so I could take all of his money. He worked a ton of overtime, which just turned out to feed his addiction. When he told me I was on maternity leave with our second child, so we didn't have much of a savings account, I took out a home equity loan to pay off his debt and now he pays it. I still struggle to trust him and feel as though I'm waiting for it to happen again. Is marriage supposed to be through thick and thin or do we think this is too far and grounds for who.

[B]

Told you that stupid fudgeing line?

[A]

My argument here too is vows don't include lying. Your vows. Like you, he broke your vows. And so when you talk about marriage and good times and in bad, it's when you're dealing with something again, like a loss, it's when you're falling on.

[B]

Hard times, it's when you still have a good partner, not a shitty partner.

[A]

Yeah, it has nothing to do with infidelity.

[B]

People love to like be like, oh.

[A]

But good times are bad. It's like, so you lying to me about going and going off and spending.

[B]

All your money on hangers is Billy.

[A]

I'm supposed to just forgive that because we're married. That doesn't give you a pass to do whatever you want because we made vows to each other. When you break those vows, you have. Those are. These are grounds to be done. And I don't blame you for not wanting to trust this person. The fact that also he, he tried to gaslight you into, into saying that your concern about your finances were because he thought you wanted to steal all of his money. You wanted to take all of his money. You're married.

[B]

What I personally know someone that their mother in law wants, that person got divorced was like, marriage is through thick and thin and you're supposed to like fight through with good times and bad times. I'm like, shut up. Shut up. You don't even know what that person did. Do you even know what your son did?

[A]

And again, this is a personal decision. If someone chooses to work through these struggles with their partner because they actually, they know their partner better than anyone and like maybe they are actually willing to change, that's fine. Like I'm not going to. Maybe I would judge you for that. But whatever.

[B]

I mean willing to change. Willing to change. If it's like $1,000 in debt, 90 grand.

[A]

90K.

[B]

And you just like devastated your. You were also financial journey.

[A]

You just had a baby. You just had a baby and this man is willing to risk it all.

[B]

And you took out a line of credit to pay off his debt and then he's questioning you. That fucking. What a twat waffle.

[A]

So I'm going to leave the ball in your court again because you're married to this man. I am not. And if you want to stay with him, that's your personal choice. But it sounds like you're writing in this is probably building up a little bit of resentment. I could imagine. I think you have to look at your relationship as a whole. Has he actually made changes?

[B]

I don't think you have to look at it as a whole. I think this is stupid. As you wrote this question, you shouldn't. You know the fucking answer. You know the answer.

[A]

But when you have kids involved, do you think that that's a little bit more. I make it more challenging to just like jump ship.

[B]

I don't know. Is he going to keep going to debt and then ruin your family's financial future?

[A]

Well. And that's your kids. This is worse off. Yeah. This is impacting your kids future. Like would your kids be better off if you guys were separated?

[B]

I'll tell you this. Yes. Everyone's better off.

[A]

Everyone's better off.

[B]

Then this guy setting the scene, John, goes in the debt even more than the casinos after him. Online gambling, whatever. Then they kick open your front door trying to find him. You're the only one there. Then he holds you hostage waiting for your stupid husband to come up with the money to collect. It's like a movie.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

And he doesn't. And now this guy don't.

[A]

Like I'm just saying.

[B]

Scare you. Yeah. Because it could happen. It could happen.

[A]

I think it really boils down to what has he done to regain your trust? And if you still don't trust this person? Like you have nothing. If you don't have trust, what has.

[B]

He done in general that makes him not 100% a piece of shit? Because right now he's 100% a piece of shit.

[A]

You know, I love watching reality tv and one show that I never watched before is Vanderpump Rules. And so I just started from the beginning because, you know, during the holiday season that awkward time between Christmas and New Year is like, you're just a piece of shit and you have to just like watch tv. So I had Lucy on my boob and I'm watching Vanderpump. And I didn't realize in the beginning people, if you don't watch Vanderpump, just skip to the next question. But if you do, I didn't realize that Stassi, one of the main characters in the show, was dating this guy Jax, who is like a serial cheater. She was so young, she was only like 24 when she was dealing with this guy who just says all the right things. So you want to believe him, but she knew in her gut and she was like, what are you doing to show me? Anyway, I'm just very impressed by like the emotional maturity that she had as a 24 year old. She doesn't necessarily like communicate it very well because she like calls everyone like a bitch and dick and whatever. But like, I respect her so much. I'm like in the show, she's my favorite one.

[B]

Anyway, so she split up with this guy.

[A]

I mean, it's like back and forth, you know, but people are giving her shit for wanting to like end things with him. But as a woman in your 30s? In my 30s. I just, I have so much respect.

[B]

For her and I don't intuition to know this guy's not right.

[A]

I don't know how it plays out because I've never watched it before. I mean, they're not married now, so. And she has kids with someone else.

[B]

Well, I think we know how you know, these people are currently not everyone.

[A]

I really don't. So I'm just going to watch it and I'm excited. But anyway, I think that when people show you who they are, believe them. Next question. How do I, a 30 year old female, know whether to take a leap and start my own business or stay the course of where I'm at now? For background, I served in the military and when I got out, I spent the first few years jumping between ideas of what I might want to do. I now work as a defense contractor and the company benefits and pay are all great. My husband and I are better off than most people our age, each making six figures with good benefits. After saying all that, it feels silly, but I often Think about the different businesses that I could open. I love the idea of being my own boss, having flexibility to move my work hours to when I'm the most productive and being in control of my own success. Success or failure. A big factor for me is that further in the future, I'd ideally have more flexibility and time for future kids in our home while still making a decent income. Others tell me it's okay to just take a job for money and find happiness outside of work. Am I just indecisive and bored? Should I be happy with my current circumstances and stay the course?

[B]

One, thank you for your service. Two, you make good money working for defense contracts and also like insurance and benefits and all that. But if you both are doing it, depending on how you live, maybe your husband can cover your livelihood while you start something. I will say though, one, in one part of your question, you said having more time, you're going to have less time, you're not going to have more time. So be prepared for you to start your own company, you're going to be working 24 7.

[A]

24 7.

[B]

Double the amount you're working now.

[A]

But I will say more fulfilling, way more fulfilling. And like, I enjoy the cons of owning my own business way more than the pros of working for someone else.

[B]

100.

[A]

And that's what they outweigh us for us personally. But that's not everybody. And so.

[B]

But I didn't have the mindset. Neither did you. Like, already before starting the company, we never had the mindset. Like, so we have more time for kids and stuff in the future. That was never our mindset. You cannot even, you can't even think like that.

[A]

But it gives you more flexibility in that, you know, if you want to move things around and, or like work remote, you're not like stuck on this rigid schedule that someone else is building for you.

[B]

Okay. Right.

[A]

At the same time, when you're off at 5, you're not off at 5. You know, your brain is still working. You're. It's. It really is 24 7. And so there is beauty in, again, people just being able to take full maternity leave or being able to clock out and have the holiday season.

[B]

Shut your mind off.

[A]

Yeah, being able to shut your mind off. But the fact that you have this itch. And if you think that you gotta scratch it, you gotta scratch it. Like, you really do owe it to yourself. I think, again, when we say this a lot, if you're gonna look back and regret not doing it, you have.

[B]

To do it I think you always shoot your shot if you're, if you can and if, if your partner and everyone is on board and whatever, definitely shoot your shot. You miss 100 of the shots you don't shoot.

[A]

Yeah, Tom. Mr. You need to come back with.

[B]

Your sayings 60% of the time. It works every time.

[A]

What'd you say? No. And it wasn't things that like, were quotes from movies your own. No, these are your own.

[B]

Because the best ones you like don't.

[A]

Cry over spilled beans like John says. But you got this. I currently live in a mid sized city that isn't the prettiest, but it's fine for young families. I have a good paying job. I'm not wealthy, but I'm compensated for what I do. The issue is that I've reached a ceiling. There is no room for growth at my company and no other employer in this city offers a comparable salary. My husband works remotely, so location isn' an issue for him. What is an issue is family. We have two small children, ages 2 and 4, who are deeply attached to my mom and their cousins. My husband and I are also the primary support system for both sides of our families. My mom is independent and doing well now, but when emergencies happen, like when she broke her leg, I was the only one who could step in. My sister's poor life choices have left them heavily dependent on my mom and by extension on us. On my husband's side, the dynamic is different, but still demanding. His family is more independent, yet we're the default helpers, fixing things around the house, babysitting and being on call whenever something is needed. My sister in law in particular expects us to see them at least once a week. We've tried setting boundaries before, but it always turns into conflict for the sake of peace. I've accommodated these expectations for years and now I'm burning out. Between the constant needs and expectations from both families, I feel like my life is slipping away. I don't have time for basic things like getting enough sleep, working out or cooking healthy meals. We're always scrambling, juggling full time jobs, caring for our two young kids and meeting endless family obligations. My husband and I barely have time for each other and we've been on two dates since having kids. I love being with my children, but I also feel the weight of our extended families and my husband's difficulty setting boundaries is slowly eroding our relationship and affecting the well being of our own core family. Adding to this, the city we live in is still very expensive and offers little in terms of Culture, activities or educational opportunities. Still, my husband doesn't want to move. He wants to stay close to his family. I know moving comes with risks and I'm not naive about that. But I crave the chance to reclaim my life. I want time. Time to work out, time to rest, time to simply sit down in my own home without constant pressure or obligation. I want space to breathe, to exist and to focus on the family that we're building, not just the families where end is endlessly.

[B]

I want blue shutters and I want.

[A]

A place to myself.

[B]

I want a place to paint, do my paintings. I want to wrap around porch. What is the notebook line? Sorry, go ahead.

[A]

And I keep asking myself, is staying really the safer choice or is it just the familiar one risk with moving?

[B]

I mean, I guess there's a risk.

[A]

I think what I'm hearing here is again, a boundary issue when it comes to families, but it's.

[B]

You gotta tell everyone to fuck off. Your mental health, your husband's mental health, and with your kids, like that has to come first. Your husband needs to be a team. Team player. You guys got to get on the same page as far as moving. You might like it, you might hate it. I wouldn't. If you're someone who doesn't move often, you should try to rent a place. If you're working remote, just stay there for a little bit and just see if you like it. We are religious movers. Like, we know what involves a move, financially, you know, mentally, friendship, wise relationships, all that stuff. Because if you're so used to being around so many people and you go from that to nothing that drastic change, you might fudgeing, hate it, you might not.

[A]

But a move, I'm just going to say this doesn't fix your problems. You take your problems with you, and again, you're saying that the majority of your problems are because of, you know, extended family. Think of this. If the problem is your husband with boundaries, who's to say that he's not going to say no when they want to come stay with you now for two weeks, then you're having problems. Then if they're coming every other month or whatever that looks like, like, you have to.

[B]

You have to know they won't because she's. They're the. Everyone has financial issues in both sides of the family. They're not gonna have money. Unless your husband's like, yeah, I'll pay for your flights. They're not gonna be.

[A]

All that I'm saying is moving does not fix every single problem on your list. However, if you really want the dynamics of a new city and, like, change and different offerings that a city could give you, yes, that might be a good, interesting thing to consider 100% on.

[B]

Board for, for them, for. I feel you, girl. I want to, I want to change the scenery. I want to, like, get some of my life.

[A]

I get it. But I'm also just saying, like, it's not just a quick. It's not, not just going to fix your problems.

[B]

It's going to fix a lot of it.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

That is, there's a, there's a huge difference from living next to family versus not living next to family and your.

[A]

Mental health, setting boundaries. I think, like, you can still deal with, like, family.

[B]

If your husband can't do it on his own country, do it for him by moving.

[A]

But that's, that really does suck. You think that, like, moving is the only answer I get because you don't love the city that you're in. That's why. And if, like, you really loved where you lived, I'd be like, don't move just because, like, family is annoying. But, like, the fact that you want to move to a new city because, like, you're, you know, you're interested in a new city, that's, that's valid in itself. But, like, the family stuff is where that stuff isn't just going to resolve because you're moving.

[B]

I don't agree. I don't agree. We went across the country, we barely saw family. And, you know, sad, You know, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

I just don't think that that's like the I, I. But that's not the fix.

[B]

Proof is in the pudding. You say it's not the fix. We went from being around family 247 till we, we moved. We saw your parents three times. We saw my parents two or three times. Never even saw my sister. We never saw your brother. So what I'm saying is it does change drastically. But that's what I was saying in the beginning.

[A]

But we hardly also still see my brother or your sister. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't think that that's just the fix. Because if they're still needy, they're going to be needy in other ways. Even if you're across the country.

[B]

Oh, no, they're calling. Don't answer. I don't understand what the issue is. I'm saying it definitely changes a lot with the move, the family dynamic part, if this is what we're battling on there.

[A]

But you know what? I'm saying though, like, you shouldn't just be escaping a city because like your family is annoying. You need to be able to set boundaries and like hard ten toes down.

[B]

Yeah, but there's so many other factors on why she was.

[A]

But just say like set. Like you said you haven't been on a date night. If like they're calling you up or whatever you say no, like Friday night.

[B]

Husband is the one with the issue.

[A]

So that then divorce your husband.

[B]

Like no, don't divorce him because boundaries.

[A]

Other people, like, maybe they move and now the neighbors need him and it's like, oh, that's. Dude, that's what I'm saying. Like the problem. You have to like address the problem in your home before just like escaping because it's going to follow you. So if your husband is shitty with boundaries here, he's going to be shitty with boundaries there, regardless of like again, maybe because if he has the finances, his family needs him, he's constantly flying now you have less time with him or it's just like more financial burden on you because you live further or like again they come. I'm just saying like it's not necessarily going to like be magical and take away all problems. I think that like the way to maybe start this.

[B]

It's a quick fix. That's a quick fix. It's not. You're right. It's not a long term thing. That's. I think start with the Airbnb. Just go somewhere for like a month and see if, See if it works.

[A]

Something. Yeah, but I do think that creating non negotiables in your schedule is. Are important. Like family time for just you. Sorry. I don't care that you need your light bulb fixed. Like find someone else to do it. Here's. Here's a number of a friend who you could pay. We are. We have family time.

[B]

People don't say no enough.

[A]

No is a sentence. Be like Stassi. Say off from Vanderpump rules. Oh, just tell everyone to off and get out of your life. You don't have to say that.

[B]

No is a sentence.

[A]

I like that it is.

[B]

Period.

[A]

No, you don't have.

[B]

Again, next question.

[A]

Moving on this in. Do you want to hear a secret?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've been dating my boss's son for a little over a year now. Our boss, AKA his dad, has no idea.

[B]

Sick.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Well, my advice.

[A]

There is no advice.

[B]

My advice, stick with it. Boss's son. Lock him in.

[A]

Marry up. Just marry the boss or not marry him.

[B]

Just use it as blackmail.

[A]

Maybe he doesn't mind. Maybe he wouldn't care.

[B]

I want to raise. Oh, too bad. Oh, really? Too bad. Too bad. Mike, I'm trying to think.

[A]

If I like, worked for a company and you were your dad's like, you worked for your dad. Fun stuff.

[B]

Oops. Recommendations. I recommend I have a. I have a product one. And then just like a life hack. I'm gonna do the life hack. Starbucks, guys. Starbucks. There's always a line. Airport, you'll never get your. What you need to do.

[A]

Put some. Okay, I'll give a rebuttal here.

[B]

You gotta just order black coffee. Just order. I want two large black coffees. Don't get anything else. If you're getting coffee, just get the coffee. They'll pour it right there and give it to you instead of waiting in line for an hour. Because John 90 Barbara wanted the Makalaka bullshit.

[A]

Want. They want the fun calories. Like they don't care about the black, but 90 of the population, they're going there for the fun drinks. They're not going there because 90% bet.

[B]

You 90% want black coffee.

[A]

No, 100. 100%.

[B]

I mean, you just order it black and then they got the cream and the sugar and the shit on the side.

[A]

People would do that if that's what they wanted. Like that's not a pro tip. Because if people wanted black coffee, they would get the black coffee. What do you think people are doing?

[B]

Pro tip.

[A]

What do you think Starbucks coffee is doing then? 90% of the people wanted a black coffee. What do you think they're going into.

[B]

Starbucks and doing then getting black coffee? Right? Oh, oh, I see what you're saying. 90 needs to get black coffee. Then there'd be no. There'd be no line.

[A]

Exactly. That's what like 90 need to just do that.

[B]

So do that and then make the line faster for the rest of us.

[A]

So that you could get a fun drink.

[B]

Because Starbucks is such like a travel thing for us. We always, like, if we're driving or flying, it's going to go to Starbucks to get something. I forgot everyone hates Starbucks.

[A]

I was gonna say, who cares?

[B]

Whatever. Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts. It doesn't matter who you're going to because there's always a fucking line. Black coffee, in and out.

[A]

I feel like that's more of just like a pro tip. Like you're not recommending.

[B]

I recommend.

[A]

You're just telling people like, what you want, what you want them to do.

[B]

It's a life hack.

[A]

Yeah, but it's Not a life hack. If someone wants a black coffee, they'll just get black.

[B]

If you're just going for caffeine, get the black coffee.

[A]

What do you think?

[B]

I'm just saying, everyone, speed up your day a little bit. People just like, let me take. Let me order. Let me order the craziest shit. All right, 45 minutes to get something. It's just like, people waste time.

[A]

I think because John only gave a pro tip. He didn't necessarily give a wreck. I'm also just going to give a life hack. Keep it simple. Keep it simple. Stupid. Everything in your life, because it does, it starts from the black coffee, but then, then it comes down to modifying your orders at a restaurant. Restaurant. Or modifying your drinks. It's like, just keep it simple. And then that's how you get ahead in life, is by not making things complicated.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Because you got to be quick decision makers, but you got to be quick.

[B]

Everything you have to do, you have to act.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Pack life Nike.

[A]

Just do it as Nike. Yeah, you just have to act. Be a quick decision maker. Stop making things complicated.

[B]

Don't overthink.

[A]

Done. Just do it.

[B]

Love it. Okay, guys, that's it. Yeah, like, subscribe, email, give me a little review on itunes. I don't know if you do it on Spotify too. Thank you.

[A]

I'm even just thinking about this, like, in terms of when we renovated our house, actually.

[B]

Everyone give nice reviews, by the way, because last time I said that, people gave me nasty reviews that I didn't like.

[A]

No, only nice ones. But I'm thinking about too, like when we had to make decisions for, like, house things. I'm like, I don't care what can get delivered the quickest. What is the cheapest? What is the quickest?

[B]

Yeah, we got that fridge that I thought had the water dispenser and it didn't. That's the worst. Another life hack. Make sure you get a water dispenser.

[A]

So sometimes in your fridge, you know, spend a little time looking into a little. But not too much time anyway. What did you say?

[B]

I said, like, subscribe, email, give me reviews. Spotify, itunes. Hopefully nice ones. Because last time you guys did.

[A]

Yeah, we want nice reviews. Thank you. Share us with your friends if you enjoyed this episode. Anyway, follow us everywhere. I Give it to Me Straight podcast. If you want to send us an Anonymous question. Hello@give it to me straight podcast.com won't be anonymous, but the anonymous question will be the link in our show notes or on our website. We will see you guys next week.

[B]

Ciao. Ciao. Bye.

[A]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.