Beyond The Memoir with Parvati Shallow

Summary

Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast
Episode Summary: "Beyond The Memoir with Parvati Shallow"
Release Date: July 8, 2025
Host: Chelsea Devantez
Guest: Parvati Shallow

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Introduction to Parvati Shallow and Her Memoir

In this compelling episode of Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast, host Chelsea Devantez sits down with renowned reality TV star and memoir author, Parvati Shallow. Parvati delves deep into her latest memoir, offering listeners an intimate look into her life beyond the glitz and glamor of reality television.

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Shared Influences and Childhood Experiences

The conversation begins with Chelsea and Parvati discovering their shared literary influences, particularly "Healing from CPTSD, the Workbook" and "The 48 Laws of Power". Chelsea humorously notes their overlapping references, hinting at a "Venn diagram" of similar childhood experiences.

Chelsea [00:31]:
"We both referenced two of the same books in our books, which I think has a Venn diagram that really explains a lot about both of our childhoods."

Parvati clarifies her upbringing, distinguishing it from being labeled a cult, opting instead for the term "new age commune".

Parvati Shallow [02:17]:
"We're calling it a new age commune for certain purposes."

---

The 48 Laws of Power and Survivor Strategy

A significant portion of their discussion focuses on how "The 48 Laws of Power" served as a strategic guide for Parvati during her time on Survivor. She emphasizes the book's relevance to the competitive nature of the show.

Parvati Shallow [02:33]:
"The 48 laws of power is a bible for winning Survivor specifically."

One notable law Parvati highlights is "Crush your enemy completely," advising competitors to decisively eliminate threats to avoid future retaliation.

Parvati Shallow [02:49]:
"If you're going to take someone out completely, destroy them... Don't mildly wound them and let them limp along to come back and get you."

Chelsea reflects on how these strategies impacted her personal life, admitting they didn't translate as effectively outside the game.

---

Retiring the Black Widow Persona and New Ventures

Parvati discusses retiring her iconic Black Widow persona from Survivor, signaling a shift towards new creative endeavors. She teases an upcoming reality competition show with "underworld undertones" but keeps details under wraps.

Parvati Shallow [04:21]:
"I am stepping into a completely new role and it has underworld undertones... It's a reality competition."

Chelsea expresses excitement about Parvati's new role, hoping she will continue to embody her signature style.

---

Women in Reality TV and Media Representation

The conversation shifts to the broader landscape of women in media. Parvati reflects on the challenges women face in maintaining their image and the differing expectations compared to men.

Chelsea [08:22]:
"Have you felt that become available to you with how the world is changing in our perception of, like, women on TV, or do you feel like it is still a very narrow path they allow you to walk?"

Parvati acknowledges the ongoing struggles, noting that while men often have more leeway, women are scrutinized more harshly for changes in appearance and demeanor.

Parvati Shallow [08:37]:
"Women aging on TV and in entertainment is very different to men... We got to stay fit, we got to stay ready."

---

Personal Growth and Memoir Writing

Parvati shares how writing her memoir has been a journey of self-acceptance and reclaiming her narrative. She discusses the liberation that comes from telling her own story, free from external judgments.

Parvati Shallow [10:14]:
"Writing my book actually brought me into a place of real self-acceptance and really liking myself... It's just human. All the stories that I tell in the book, I'm like, I see myself as human, as flawed, as inherently lovable because of the mistakes that I made."

---

Reflections on Survivor and Future Seasons

Parvati opens up about her experiences on Survivor, particularly her seasons Heroes vs. Villains and Australian Survivor: vs. the World. She discusses the dynamics of female alliances and the lasting impact they've had on the game.

Chelsea [16:11]:
"If we do, we're bad."

Parvati elaborates on the stigma women face when they win, contrasting it with male winners who are celebrated.

Parvati Shallow [16:57]:
"If you lose, you can be a hero, but if you win, you're a villain. If you're a woman."

She also hints at her departure from competing on Survivor, focusing instead on new creative projects.

---

Relationships and Personal Life Post-Memoir

The discussion turns personal as Parvati talks about her evolving relationships following her memoir. She describes navigating a queer relationship and the challenges of maintaining authenticity while in the public eye.

Parvati Shallow [24:26]:
"I had to completely rewrite. I wrote a whole new epilogue."

Chelsea appreciates the raw honesty in Parvati's memoir, highlighting the authenticity that made the book so engaging.

---

Future Projects and Book Promotion

Towards the end of the episode, Parvati shares insights into her future projects, including co-hosting a new reality competition show with another beloved reality TV figure. She also promotes her memoir, encouraging listeners to purchase signed copies from her favorite bookstore.

Parvati Shallow [27:42]:
"I have it linked on my bio on Instagram because I'm doing signed copies there..."

---

Conclusion

Chelsea wraps up the episode by thanking the production team and promoting additional resources and special offers related to books and audiobooks. The episode concludes with a heartfelt endorsement of Parvati’s memoir and a glimpse into her exciting future endeavors.

---

Notable Quotes

• Chelsea [00:31]:
  "We both referenced two of the same books in our books, which I think has a Venn diagram that really explains a lot about both of our childhoods."

• Parvati Shallow [02:33]:
  "The 48 laws of power is a bible for winning Survivor specifically."

• Parvati Shallow [10:14]:
  "Writing my book actually brought me into a place of real self-acceptance and really liking myself..."

• Parvati Shallow [16:57]:
  "If you lose, you can be a hero, but if you win, you're a villain. If you're a woman."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode offers a deep dive into Parvati Shallow’s life, exploring her strategies on Survivor, the societal challenges faced by women in reality TV, and her personal journey through writing her memoir. Listeners are left with a profound appreciation for Parvati’s resilience and her commitment to redefining her narrative beyond the competitive arena.

For those interested in Parvati’s story, her memoir is available for purchase at The Village Bookstore in Culver City, with signed copies available through her Instagram bio.

Transcript

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[Chelsea]

On WhatsApp. No one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. What's up? Message privately with everyone. Welcome to your special episode where I am interviewing Parvati Shallow. Make sure that you listen to our full episode discussing her memoir, which also dropped on the feed today. You're going to want to hear all of that before you hear my conversation with Parvati. Now let's dive in. I have a very odd first question for you, which is that I also wrote a memoir. Not to make this about me, but we both referenced two of the same books in our books, which I think has a Venn diagram that really explains a lot about both of our childhoods, which is healing from CPTSD, the Workbook, and the 48 Laws of Power.

[Parvati Shallow]

Did you grow up in a cult?

[Chelsea]

When you're like talking about Ram Dass and all these cults, I was like, wow, that was. We were into all of that stuff. Except you really did grow up in the cult and we were cult adjacent.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're not calling it a cult. We're calling it a new age commune for, you know, certain purposes. Sure, sure, sure.

[Chelsea]

They probably can't sue me though, so I could say that. And we will call it a new age commune for you. Okay, so here's my weird question. Which of those two books was more helpful for being on reality TV?

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, the 48 laws of power is a bible for winning Survivor specifically.

[Chelsea]

Really?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes.

[Chelsea]

So tell me, like, tell me some of the laws that like apply to Survivor because they didn't help me in my life, unfortunately.

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay, well, one of them is crush your enemy completely. If you're going to take someone out completely Destroy them like Eric Reichenbach them. You know, get their immunity and then get them out of the game.

[Chelsea]

Wow.

[Parvati Shallow]

Don't, like, mildly wound them and let them limp along to come back and get you.

[Chelsea]

You're right. That is the best advice. Okay. And you read that book before your second time going on. Right?

[Parvati Shallow]

Right.

[Chelsea]

Okay. And when then you, like, win and take it all. Okay, so next question for you that what is one part of your Survivor Persona that you retired and one part where you're like, I'm keeping this with me. And this question comes from Katie on our Patreon.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, okay. Katie, Hi. I am retiring the Black Widow. Okay, well, here's what I think. The Black Widow feels like Catwoman's outfit. Like, I can put on the lycra leather catsuit. I can put on the Black Widow suit if I need it, when I need it. But I'm stepping into a whole new creative environment arena now. I'm EP ing shows. I'm creating shows. I'm going to step into a completely different role with this new show that I'm creating and pitching with my friend Amy Bean.

[Chelsea]

Can you tell us what it is?

[Parvati Shallow]

I can't say. No. The name of the show, Chelsea, is. I am very proud of it because I came up with the name and I'm like, oh, it's such a hook. So I can't wait.

[Chelsea]

Okay, when could we maybe hear about it? How long will we be edging for?

[Parvati Shallow]

I will just say that I am stepping into a completely new role and it has underworld undertones. If, you know, Persephone, Queen of the Dead, that would be more around what I'm stepping into with my new amazing.

[Chelsea]

Okay. And can you say it's reality or is it.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, reality competition.

[Chelsea]

Okay, I will listen. You don't say anything, but I'm hoping you're the host. I'm hoping your outfits are sick.

[Parvati Shallow]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Chelsea]

You're okay. Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. And there's another host is another beloved figure from the reality TV universe. So we'll be co hosting together and playing off of each other. And this person's a bit, like, kind of squeamish and sort of, like, gets easily spooked. So I'm really excited to mess with them.

[Chelsea]

Okay. It also sounds very. I'm getting a lot of, like, female energy around this show idea, too. I'm. Okay. I'm very, very excited for this. Okay. I have another question for you. Two questions.

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay.

[Chelsea]

What makes a good host? Because I think my personal feelings are, like, Jeff and Alan do incredible jobs not everyone does an incredible job. And you were on shows with, like, great hosts. What makes a great host? Because also they're very different. So, like, from the contestant perspective, like, what do you see that actually makes them good?

[Parvati Shallow]

I think the thing that makes a great host. And yes, Jeff and Alan are up there. Joe Manganiello from Deal or no Deal, I thought also was an excellent host.

[Chelsea]

Really? Oh, great. I mean, he's a great actor, but, like, that doesn't always translate.

[Parvati Shallow]

No, it doesn't. But you know what it is? It's these people buy into the game and the show, so they're stepping into their role as host, and it's really like they're creating this very special world for the contestants to play this game in. And the hosts are bought into it. The hosts are. Joe is like a Dungeons and Dragons nerd. He's a gamer.

[Chelsea]

Didn't see that coming.

[Parvati Shallow]

He tried out for Survivor. What?

[Chelsea]

And they didn't put him on?

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, he was going to be Joe, like the construction guy from Boston. And he told me this story. Cause we interviewed him for my podcast and it was like, what? But his acting career had kind of, like, taken a lull and he was like, you know what? Maybe I just. I'm gonna go do Survivor. I've always wanted to do it. I'm doing construction. So he was like blue Collar Joe. He tried out for Survivor. He was getting cast for it, and then one of his shows got picked up.

[Chelsea]

So he was True Blood because what a Sliding Doors.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. No, it wasn't True Blood, but it was like something else with a kind of a star studded, hilarious comedian cast.

[Chelsea]

Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

I can't remember the name of it, but yeah, it was a Sliding Doors moment because he was almost a Survivor guy.

[Chelsea]

I. That is so devastating because Mike White going on Survivor really changed things, really, in how you look at your career. Because I feel like. And I feel like we'll relate to this where it's like, coming up, like, you could only be one thing, right? Like, even going on reality tv, you can only play one trope. And I feel like the world has opened up to be like, we are multifaceted, creative humans. Like Mike White can play Survivor and also can show run White Lotus, and Joe can, like, be a host, but also an actor. And.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, and I think it's also a testament to, like, you're not gonna be able to do that off the bat. But they're so established as these very successful, iconic standouts in their field that they can do whatever they want now. It's like giving them the maneuverability. Like, not anyone could pull that off.

[Chelsea]

But yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay, I agree. I think now there is. Because of social media. It's so many people are branching out and doing lots of different creatives.

[Chelsea]

Oh, yeah. And have you felt that become available to you with how the world is changing in our perception of, like, women on tv, or do you feel like it is still a very narrow path they allow you to walk?

[Parvati Shallow]

I think women aging on TV and in entertainment is very different to men. And it does. The field definitely does narrow. We got to stay fit, we got to stay ready. And the men can kind of like, whatever.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. Not going to say names, but Boston Rob. Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

They can eat hot dogs all day if they want.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. But if you come back as a woman and you look too different from how they first saw you, you're going to get trolled.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, totally. And he used to be so hot when he was young, but now he's still so hot.

[Chelsea]

We love dad bod.

[Parvati Shallow]

And you're like, okay, fine, fine, whatever. I'm not gonna get mad. I'm just gonna get even, you know?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

But I do think it is, like, a completely different ballgame than it was when I first was on reality tv. Like, I've been. I was thinking about this. I was 22 when I was first cast on Survivor, so I was. I really grew up on television, reality tv. And I've never been able to tell my own story until now with my book. So it's been such a reclamation for me where I'm like, oh, I can say whatever I want about myself. I can paint myself however I want. I can make people think of me the way I think of me. And now I can turn that into a new career for myself. So it's really cool. Like, writing my book actually brought me into a place of real self acceptance and really liking myself. Cause I, like, buckle down and made it happen. I told all these stories, and then as I was telling the stories, even the hard ones to tell, I was editing them and they were out of my body. And I was like, oh, I don't have to feel ashamed about any of this stuff because it's just human. All the stories that I tell in the book, I'm like, I see myself as human, as flawed, as inherently lovable because of the mistakes that I made. And having grown up in the public eye and now the culture shifting so much from where it used to be like, oh, we would get just trashed for, like, slut, shamed, and fat shamed and all the shamed. And now it's like, go mother. Yeah, use your bod. Yeah, eat them up kind of thing. And I'm like, oh yeah, this is more. I like this. This is great.

[Chelsea]

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[Parvati Shallow]

We will face this together as a family.

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[Parvati Shallow]

Hey.

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[Chelsea]

Okay, let's dive back into the episode. So much in what you said there. First off, real theme of the podcast, we mostly cover female memoirs. Sometimes we make a men's more exception. Also, what you said of like, men have largely run the media, so they told your story. Also when I was reading your book and then you were going through so much and you're like. And then I turned 23 and I was like the. Oh, that is so young. And kind of with what you just said, I want to pull up this page. 72. I screamed. You said when I won Survivor in 2008, there was no cancel culture. Each morning I walked into the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Sunset Boulevard and saw Perez sitting in his usual table firing off photos of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Misha Barton, all with white letters smeared across their images reading slut, whore, pig. And I just want to highlight that because I feel like people don't realize that's he really was in the Coffee Bean just calling women sluts and whores and overhearing gossip at the, like, in.

[Parvati Shallow]

Hollywood, at the Sunset Boulevard Coffee Bean, Sunset and Fairfax. I would walk in my pajamas, trucker hat, the whole thing, and he would be sitting there just firing off come smeared photos of Misha Barton. I'm like, let her live.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah. And let you live. Like, and you mentioned it, you're like, if, like, what do you think the reaction would be if the black widow brigade season aired this year?

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, people would lose their minds.

[Chelsea]

I feel like we'd march. I feel like there would be like, a jokey march that would turn into, like, a very real black widow march.

[Parvati Shallow]

Dude, it's like Mayday, Handmaid's Tale. Like, we would be in caravans, cargo trucks, storming the capitol. We would take it all down, plant our black widow flags on the Capitol hill.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, it would be a whole new world. A whole new world order across the universe.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah. No, I agree. It. And it's so painful reading in your book. So I found Survivor late. Like, my husband and I watched all of them, but we weren't watching at the time. We maybe it was like 2021 or 2022 we started. And so I watched it from this year looking back, and it's like, oh, my God, this is such a cool season.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. And even still, like, it was on Heroes, villains, that was 2010. So I did kind of back to back seasons. It was like a year in between each season.

[Chelsea]

Wow. Honestly, it feels like getting pregnant back to back to back, which people do. And it's really hard. Like you're in postpartum as you're like, pregnant again. That's what it felt like reading your book. I was like, she's going back.

[Parvati Shallow]

And Then I went back after I had a 10 month old.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, so you really did. Wow. Okay. So sorry. So you go back and they name you a villain, and in the book you talk about how it felt really unfair and that you kind of found out the last second that they named you a villain.

[Parvati Shallow]

I did not identify as a villain at the time, and it felt very odd to me because Saree and Amanda, who were in the Black Widow brigade with me, who did the exact same things that I did, were on the Heroes tribe. The only difference is they lost and I won. So I was like, is this because I'm a woman winner that I'm on the Villains tribe? And then I looked around and I was like, the only other woman winner in this season is Sandra, and she's also on the Villains tribe. There were men winners on the Heroes tribe, and the women winners were on the Villains tribe. And I was like, what does this say about women and power?

[Chelsea]

That they don't want us to have any. I mean, it's just the perfect encapsulation.

[Parvati Shallow]

Or if we do, we're bad.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[Parvati Shallow]

If you lose, you can be a hero, but if you win, you're a villain. If you're a woman. Yeah.

[Chelsea]

That's unreal. So did that affect your relationship with Amanda and them? Like, because you had been together, then you go back, they're heroes, you're a villain. Like, how do you. Yeah. How did that affect things?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, I mean, I really had to dive into my Villains tribe because that was. And I had my back against the wall because they'd wanted me out from day one.

[Chelsea]

Right. Well, you'd won, of course, but they were terrified.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, ever since the Black Widow brigade happened, the women's alliance destroying the men in such a humiliating fashion. No one ever wanted to get caught in that kind of crossfire ever again. So they were so scared of a women's alliance, and still to this day.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, they referenced it every season. They're like, well, we can't be friends because they'll get really afraid of a woman's alliance and then I'll get kicked out early. The power, y'. All. But it's also sad that no one has ever tried it again or successfully.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, they can't. They're so scared. But you'll. I don't know, we'll see. Like, if. Whenever I play Survivor, you can assume there will be some kind of women's movement. And I do have a season of Survivor coming up. Australian Survivor versus the world. Right.

[Chelsea]

Okay. Did you secretly Feel kind of happy to miss out on the Survivor 50 casting drama and already be, like, shooting your own Survivor season. Were you like, this is perfect?

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, you know, it's easy. I filmed Daler odile island in 2024, and I had already agreed to play Australian Survivor versus the world because I was like, it's like the Olympics of Survivor. Like, of course I'm going to do that. So then, like, three weeks after I got back from Deal or no Deal, I went and played Australian Survivor. It was in Samoa, which is where I just lost Heroes versus Villains. So I was like, I have unfinished business here. Like, here we go. I'm gonna crush this. And then when I came back, I'd already finished filming, and then season 50 drama only started happening in 2025, so I wasn't even really involved in it anyways. And I think it's very clear I'm not gonna go back and play a US Version of Survivor. I'm done playing Survivor in general across the board. I'm just say that here on your podcast.

[Chelsea]

Wow. Breaking news. Yeah. I mean, you're going on to do, like you said, you have a different role, different shows. Okay. So since it's not gonna happen, who would just hypothetically, dreamless, dead or alive, your dream Survivor, Black Widow alliance, Should it happen this year?

[Parvati Shallow]

It's actually an ideal cast for Black Widow Brigade V2.

[Chelsea]

Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

Me, cerise already there.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Mike White and Angelina.

[Chelsea]

Oh, my God, I would love to see Angelina, like, come back in. That's great. Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

Right? She's there. She'll bring her jacket. Cerise there. She'll talk trash. Mike White will drink a glass of wine, get a little tipsy. It'll be so fun.

[Chelsea]

Okay. I love. Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, you want people in the Black Widow Brigade who know that playing a game is supposed to be fun. I think sometimes a lot of people play these reality games and they get so caught up and it's so serious and intense, and they get sucked into the emotional intensity and drama and they forget the lightness that it's like. It's a game, so you should play.

[Chelsea]

Do you think that's the money or do you think that's just like, being on camera and. And that.

[Parvati Shallow]

I think it's the context. Like, these games are dark, man. They're like, you are going into the pits of hell when you say yes to go play Survivor. It's a game based on lying, deceiving, backstabbing, your best friends, manipulating. Like, it's not a nice game for nice people. So if you can't, like, step in, step out. If you can't hold yourself in two places at once as an observer, watching yourself play so you're a bit detached, then you're gonna get sucked into the drama and feel like that's all there is and it's all real and everyone hates you and it's like, well, no, it's a game.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Kind of how it was with traitors. Like it with traitors. People get so paranoid and they all, like, cry and they get really mad at each other. And it was like when Phaedra came at me in the turret and told me nobody liked me, I was like, okay, but like, are we working together or not?

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah. Obviously this is what makes you so successful at it, but. So I feel like with reality tv, the best shows are the ones where people believe in what they're doing, which is why I think Survivor, because you can. You believe in the game versus maybe like a dating show. You're like, I'm not really here to find love or whatever. But on Survivor, you're playing the game every time. That's why you came. Right? But I will say, yeah, tell me.

[Parvati Shallow]

Those Bachelor contestants are gamers. They're the best strategists. On Traders, Pilot Pete Dirty Daddy, it.

[Chelsea]

Revealed his game on the Bachelor. It's like, anytime you would believe them on the Bachelor, when he went on the Traders, you were like, oh, you. Oh, you were. You're playing in the whole time, Gabby. That's right. Why do you think they're so good at it? Is it the seduction?

[Parvati Shallow]

I think it is seduction, and it's a social game, only it's not like a competition physical challenge game. It's like, you got to be the best social strategist to win the Bachelor.

[Chelsea]

Then how do you think Tom Sandoval lasted so long?

[Parvati Shallow]

Because he was such a dumb dumb. Nobody wanted to kill him.

[Chelsea]

They were like, oh, easy peasy. Okay, is there a traitor's group chat and who's in it?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, there is. We have one from our season that everybody's in. Yeah. And when I left for Australian Survivor, everyone was texting me, like, go get him. Good luck. And Kate Chastain's friends with Serene because she played Traitors with her season one. So she was like, go take serie to the end. Help her win.

[Chelsea]

Oh, I love that. Okay, so I'm on some group chats with, like, old co workers, and there's like, there's the chat where it's like, we're still chatting. We're still going. And then there's the chat where it's like, once a year, someone's like, happy birthday, Jared. Which one is the traitor's?

[Parvati Shallow]

It's Happy birthday, Jared.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys can't trust each other. You're not actually talking shit. You're like, this could be screencast.

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, I'm always like, I. I will go play the games and I'll take maybe two or three people with me into my real life. Like, Phaedra is a gem.

[Chelsea]

Really?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes.

[Chelsea]

I am so happy you and Phaedra remained real friends.

[Parvati Shallow]

She's cool.

[Chelsea]

She's so fun.

[Parvati Shallow]

I call her because she did all those drag shows that now I'm doing these days.

[Chelsea]

Yes. Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

And I was like, tell me how much you're getting paid for those drag shows and she'll tell me straight up. I love her.

[Chelsea]

I think you're doing woman alliance behind the scenes in that.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes. You need that. You need women in your life who are gonna tell it to you straight. Carolyn will call me from Traders and she's like, how much you get paid for this? And I'll tell her, because we need to be able to help each other.

[Chelsea]

Negotiate a hundred percent. Okay. So we have this thing on the podcast where when the book ends on a new love, I'm always like, oh, my God. How are you navigating that now that it's in print? But, like, life evolves and changes and your memoir's not over. You're like, at the beginning of life so still.

[Parvati Shallow]

It really has been so bizarre. Like, I don't even know the right word because the love that I describe in the last few chapters of the book is so real and, oh, so sweet.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. Also, like, I come from improv. So when you were, like, talking about how improv was in your yalls relationship, I was like, oh, my God, Yes. Ending love. Yeah. I also have this thing on the podcast where I ask for more real life sex scenes and memoirs, and you gave us a real memoir sex scene that is, like, really hot.

[Parvati Shallow]

Thank you. But then you're like, no, I know, I know. We'll see. It's like, it's still like, we're navigating it.

[Chelsea]

It's.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. You know, it's so interesting because I came out of you. You read my story. Like, the marriage that I came out of was like, I just want my freedom. I want to be able to explore. And then I'm in my first queer relationship and that. I describe that in the book, and it's the sweetest Most juiciest, expansive relationship I've ever been in.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

And then things do shift and change and it's like, well, how do we, how do we navigate this now? And so, yeah, like, I had to completely rewrite. I wrote a whole new epilogue.

[Chelsea]

Oh, wow. Did you give them the book? Do they know it's coming?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Chelsea]

Okay. That's beautiful.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Chelsea]

I mean, yeah, it's a beautiful love story. And I know when it's like also in public, then it's like extra. And really, like, you gave, I always say, like a good memoir. Like, you bleed onto the page and like, you, you gave the details of both relationships. I think that's why I like, couldn't put this down either because you're just like, like, yeah, you really gave. So thank you.

[Parvati Shallow]

Thank you.

[Chelsea]

Okay, my last question. Where do we get the good headbands? The ones with volume? Okay. Because my sister in law gave me one and I looked it up and it was 150. So like, where are the good headbands?

[Parvati Shallow]

I know, dude, they're not cheap. When my stylist for traders sent me those headbands, I was like, this is insane. These headbands are out of control.

[Chelsea]

They're like crowns. Which is why I think we love them so much.

[Parvati Shallow]

Leeli Sidoohi is one of them. And the other one is Loffler. Randall Loeffler. Randall makes the black sparkly one that is very kind of universal. You can wear that sort of with everything.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

And then the Lili Seduhi ones are like crazy. They have the top knot with the beads and the pearl.

[Chelsea]

Yep, that's the one I love. Yeah, I think I have one of those. I love a black sparkly giant headband as a wardrobe staple. A neutral. That's the one that goes with everything. That's where we're at in life. Thank you so much for talking to me. Obviously we're gonna do a whole episode on your book and tell everyone to buy it and find it. But like, do you want people. Where do you want people to buy your book the most? Like, what's your favorite bookstore?

[Parvati Shallow]

I want people to buy my book from the Village. Well, bookstore in Culver City. And I have it linked on my bio on Instagram because I'm doing signed copies there so people can order a signed copy no matter where you are in the world. Cause they will ship wherever. And that's my favorite bookstore. It's right down the street from my house.

[Chelsea]

I love the Village. Well, I know the woman who owns it. She's so lovely. What a great bookstore to choose.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. Oh, she's the best.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on. A huge thank you to our podcast producer, Christina Lopez, our executive producer, Jordan Moncada, our sound engineer, Marcus Hamm, and our amazing associate producer, Jaron Padre. I also want to let you know that if you love audiobooks, but you want to support independent bookstores, go to Libro fm, where it is easy to download audiobooks and support local bookshops. And right now, you get two Libro FM audiobooks for the price of one with your first month of membership using code TRASH. That's right, TRASH. T R A S H. Two audiobooks for the price of 1 at Libro FM. And if you have questions, go to the Patreon Chat Lounge and I will see you there.