Olivia Nuzzi's Gobblede-Book, Ryan Lizza's Substacker, and RFK Jr.'s Poetry Slam (Pt. 1)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast
Host: Chelsea Devantez
Episode: Olivia Nuzzi's Gobblede-Book, Ryan Lizza's Substacker, and RFK Jr.'s Poetry Slam (Pt. 1)
Date: December 9, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode dives deep into the wild, overlapping personal and professional sagas at the heart of Olivia Nuzzi’s memoir, American Canto, and the media circus surrounding her affair with RFK Jr. Host Chelsea Devantez gleefully dissects this scandal through a "dueling memoir" lens, drawing from Nuzzi's book, her ex-fiancé Ryan Lizza's revenge Substack, the angry commentary of other journalists (including Keith Olbermann), and the frenzied social media musings of Jessica Reed Kraus, RFK Jr.’s biggest supporter turned Nuzzi’s nemesis. Chelsea aims to untangle truth from melodrama, exposing both personal and journalistic ethics gone awry.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Characters & Scandal (03:30-09:38)

Who’s Who in the Drama:
- Olivia Nuzzi: Political journalist, author, protagonist of the “gobbledy book.”
- Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (RFK Jr.): Current Trump administration figure, Nuzzi’s affair partner, married to Cheryl Hines.
- Cheryl Hines: Actress (Curb Your Enthusiasm), RFK Jr.’s wife, has her own recent memoir.
- Ryan Lizza: Nuzzi's ex-fiancé, political journalist, author of angry tell-alls on Substack.
- Keith Olbermann: Nuzzi’s ex, journalist/podcaster, weighs in online.
- Jessica Reed Kraus: RFK Jr. supporter, Instagram/blogger (House Inhabit), former Nuzzi friend turned antagonist.
Chelsea’s delight: This isn’t a simple “he said, she said”; “This is not a dueling piano situation. This is an orchestra.” (08:02)

2. Why is Olivia Nuzzi’s Memoir So Bad? (09:38-16:19)

The writing is famously indecipherable: grandiose metaphors, names replaced with generic labels (“the politician,” “the man I did not marry”), and zero narrative structure.
Memorable Quote [13:43]:
- Chelsea (after reading a mind-bending 100-word Nuzzi sentence):
  “Basically, imagine reading 300 pages of that.”
Audiobook samples reveal dramatic shifts in Nuzzi’s voice between seductive “victim” and policy wonk.
- Chelsea: “This woman is pulling one of the finest and most desperate moves known to a woman in peril. The I'm a real sexy baby, don’t hurt me.” (15:00)
The blonde victim motif: Nuzzi’s obsession with her own blondeness and Alfred Hitchcock’s dictum that “Blondes make the best victims” pervades the text.
Memoir lacks all conventions: “There are no chapters. There’s no break in the text. There’s no organization of a story flow. There’s nothing. It’s all just like one big vomit soup.” (16:55)

3. Nuzzi’s Origin Story: Jailbait to Political Journalist (23:30-30:00)

Chelsea’s D.C. friend: “People would always say Olivia slept her way up to the top…she went to a mentoring lunch with Keith Olbermann when she was 18 years old and he was 52. He's 34 years older than her and that mentoring lunch turned into a, quote, relationship.” (23:45)
Olivia’s pop music past at age 16: released “Jailbait” single about sexualizing youth. Chelsea reviews Olivia’s own faux-woke press campaign for it: “I’m not saying any of this is wrong, I’m simply stating that it is. This song is me coming into a societal realization.”
Transition to politics not driven by politics: “What I don’t see is an actual interest in journalism or politics. Olivia was here to play and to fight, but not to like do great journalistic work or make political change.” (28:00)
D.C. as “Hollywood for fives”—the economics and limitations for ambitious women.

4. Ryan Lizza’s Substack: Catapulting Out of Heartbreak (30:00-41:00)

Ryan’s narrative:
- Olivia’s breach of journalistic ethics is not an isolated incident; affair with Mark Sanford as a journalist four years before RFK Jr. (34:30)
- His complicity (“He wrote all of this and then stayed with her for four more years…”)—both are mired in unethical behaviors. (35:00)
- Dished financial details of Olbermann/Nuzzi relationship (“$15,000 worth of Cartier jewelry,” apartment, college tuition…) (36:25)
Self-awareness and contradiction: “Ryan fails to mention in that paragraph that maybe Keith Olbermann is 34 years older than Olivia, but Ryan is 19 years older than her. So when she was so called, rescued by him at 22 years old…this man was 41.” (35:30)
RFK Jr.’s “Poetry Slam”:
- Lizza shares RFK Jr.’s cringe-inducing sexts to Nuzzi:
  “You’re open mouth, awaiting my harvest… Drink from me, love. I mean to squeeze your cheeks, to force open your mouth. Hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow. Don’t spill a drop. I am a river, you are my canyon. I mean to flow through you.” (39:00)
- Chelsea, reading this with horror and humor, retorts: “Imagine a guy is sexting you…and then I’m gonna plug your nose so you drink my disgusting cum and don’t have a chance…” (39:51)
- Lizza’s kicker: “Trying to turn phone sex into Wuthering Heights is a high bar.” (via Keith Olbermann tweet) (51:00)

5. Jessica Reed Kraus: Scorned Kennedy Fan (41:00-46:50)

Jessica’s claim: Nuzzi acquired private gossip under false friendship, only to use it to manipulate/blackmail RFK Jr. and maintain contact.
Toxic infighting and misogyny: attacks on Nuzzi’s body and character (“big boned Meryl Streep”; “Amber Heard of Washington D.C.”), denigrating her as a “sweater dress two sizes too small.”
Chelsea’s aside: “Jessica is a patriarchal tool. And I do mean tool as an idiot, not tool.” (46:50)

6. Final Thoughts, Larger Meaning, and Critique (48:48-53:00)

Writing style as psychology: Nuzzi claims she wrote/edited the book entirely on her phone while hiking. Chelsea: “I read the book. I believe her.”
Ryan Lizza, in a Substack comment: “She couldn’t tell the real story…so she had to do this kind of psychedelic art project instead with a lot of hand waving and coyness and bullshit, and it just led her to create 300 pages of gibberish.” (51:00)
Despite chaos, Chelsea enjoys the mystery:
- “It takes a woman to turn this mockery of an administration and media climate and distill the whole thing down into the easily understood and digestible: This is a fucking joke.” (51:50)
Looking ahead: “To fully know where this story might be headed, we are going to dissect her memoir. So join me on Friday for part two… It’s going to get even weirder.” (52:48)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

“This is not a dueling piano situation. This is an orchestra.” — Chelsea (08:02)
On the writing style:
“Every other word is sucking the dick of the word that came before it.” — Chelsea (11:30)
Reading a Nuzzi sentence:
“We were primed to participate in the farcical parable…” (see transcript, full paragraph), then: “Basically, imagine reading 300 pages of that.” — (13:43)
On Nuzzi’s persona:
“This woman is pulling one of the finest and most desperate moves known to a woman in peril. The I’m a real sexy baby, don’t hurt me.” — Chelsea (15:00)
Alfred Hitchcock quote:
“Blondes make the best victims. They’re like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.” — quoted by Nuzzi, analyzed by Chelsea (15:30)
On Nuzzi’s lack of narrative:
“There are no chapters… it’s all just like one big vomit soup.” — Chelsea (16:55)
On the D.C./Hollywood parallel:
“There’s a saying that goes around DC…Washington DC is just like Hollywood, but for fives.” — Chelsea (27:30)
On RFK Jr.’s sexting:
“You’re open mouth, awaiting my harvest… I am a river, you are my canyon. I mean to flow through you.” — RFK Jr. to Nuzzi (39:00)
Chelsea’s reaction:
“Imagine a guy is sexting you…and then I’m gonna plug your nose so you drink my disgusting cum and don’t have a chance…” (39:51)
Keith Olbermann tweet:
“Trying to turn phone sex into Wuthering Heights is a high bar.” (51:00)

Important Segment Timestamps

03:30 — Character guide & summary of the scandal
09:38 — Olivia Nuzzi’s memoir is a mess: style, substance, structure
15:30 — “Blondes make the best victims” & meta-commentary on gendered power
23:30 — Early Olivia: from “Jailbait” to D.C. journalist & the parental backstory
30:00 — Ryan Lizza’s Substack: revelations, contradiction, complicity
39:00 — RFK Jr.’s “poetry slam” sexts read aloud (graphic comedic highlight)
41:00 — Jessica Reed Kraus’s social media meltdown and gendered abuse
48:48 — Analysis of the writer’s psyche & style, Lizza’s ultimate critique
51:50 — Chelsea’s meta critique: “This is a fucking joke.”
52:48 — Teaser for Part 2: “It’s going to get even weirder…”

Tone & Overall Take

Chelsea Devantez’s tone is irreverent, sharp, and delightfully trashy—she relishes the melodrama, mocks self-seriousness, and treats the sordid details as both cautionary tale and spectacle. She is empathetic about the gendered dynamics but refuses to let any character off the hook. The episode is packed with wit, pop-culture savvy, and deeply gossipy energy, ideal for listeners who enjoy both media criticism and high-level reality-TV dissection.

Bottom Line:
American Canto is less of a memoir than “a big vomit soup” of literary pretension and obfuscation, and its story—recapitulated and weaponized by exes, rivals, and sycophants—proves more illuminating (and entertaining) than anything Nuzzi tries to say herself. Chelsea’s summary is razor-sharp, thorough, and promises even juicier revelations in Part 2.

For direct quotes, fuller context, and all the messy receipts, check recommended episodes, show notes, and Chelsea’s Patreon discussion group.

Summary

Main Theme & Purpose

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Characters & Scandal (03:30-09:38)

Who’s Who in the Drama:
- Olivia Nuzzi: Political journalist, author, protagonist of the “gobbledy book.”
- Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (RFK Jr.): Current Trump administration figure, Nuzzi’s affair partner, married to Cheryl Hines.
- Cheryl Hines: Actress (Curb Your Enthusiasm), RFK Jr.’s wife, has her own recent memoir.
- Ryan Lizza: Nuzzi's ex-fiancé, political journalist, author of angry tell-alls on Substack.
- Keith Olbermann: Nuzzi’s ex, journalist/podcaster, weighs in online.
- Jessica Reed Kraus: RFK Jr. supporter, Instagram/blogger (House Inhabit), former Nuzzi friend turned antagonist.
Chelsea’s delight: This isn’t a simple “he said, she said”; “This is not a dueling piano situation. This is an orchestra.” (08:02)

2. Why is Olivia Nuzzi’s Memoir So Bad? (09:38-16:19)

The writing is famously indecipherable: grandiose metaphors, names replaced with generic labels (“the politician,” “the man I did not marry”), and zero narrative structure.
Memorable Quote [13:43]:
- Chelsea (after reading a mind-bending 100-word Nuzzi sentence):
  “Basically, imagine reading 300 pages of that.”
Audiobook samples reveal dramatic shifts in Nuzzi’s voice between seductive “victim” and policy wonk.
- Chelsea: “This woman is pulling one of the finest and most desperate moves known to a woman in peril. The I'm a real sexy baby, don’t hurt me.” (15:00)
The blonde victim motif: Nuzzi’s obsession with her own blondeness and Alfred Hitchcock’s dictum that “Blondes make the best victims” pervades the text.
Memoir lacks all conventions: “There are no chapters. There’s no break in the text. There’s no organization of a story flow. There’s nothing. It’s all just like one big vomit soup.” (16:55)

3. Nuzzi’s Origin Story: Jailbait to Political Journalist (23:30-30:00)

Chelsea’s D.C. friend: “People would always say Olivia slept her way up to the top…she went to a mentoring lunch with Keith Olbermann when she was 18 years old and he was 52. He's 34 years older than her and that mentoring lunch turned into a, quote, relationship.” (23:45)
Olivia’s pop music past at age 16: released “Jailbait” single about sexualizing youth. Chelsea reviews Olivia’s own faux-woke press campaign for it: “I’m not saying any of this is wrong, I’m simply stating that it is. This song is me coming into a societal realization.”
Transition to politics not driven by politics: “What I don’t see is an actual interest in journalism or politics. Olivia was here to play and to fight, but not to like do great journalistic work or make political change.” (28:00)
D.C. as “Hollywood for fives”—the economics and limitations for ambitious women.

4. Ryan Lizza’s Substack: Catapulting Out of Heartbreak (30:00-41:00)

Ryan’s narrative:
- Olivia’s breach of journalistic ethics is not an isolated incident; affair with Mark Sanford as a journalist four years before RFK Jr. (34:30)
- His complicity (“He wrote all of this and then stayed with her for four more years…”)—both are mired in unethical behaviors. (35:00)
- Dished financial details of Olbermann/Nuzzi relationship (“$15,000 worth of Cartier jewelry,” apartment, college tuition…) (36:25)
Self-awareness and contradiction: “Ryan fails to mention in that paragraph that maybe Keith Olbermann is 34 years older than Olivia, but Ryan is 19 years older than her. So when she was so called, rescued by him at 22 years old…this man was 41.” (35:30)
RFK Jr.’s “Poetry Slam”:
- Lizza shares RFK Jr.’s cringe-inducing sexts to Nuzzi:
  “You’re open mouth, awaiting my harvest… Drink from me, love. I mean to squeeze your cheeks, to force open your mouth. Hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow. Don’t spill a drop. I am a river, you are my canyon. I mean to flow through you.” (39:00)
- Chelsea, reading this with horror and humor, retorts: “Imagine a guy is sexting you…and then I’m gonna plug your nose so you drink my disgusting cum and don’t have a chance…” (39:51)
- Lizza’s kicker: “Trying to turn phone sex into Wuthering Heights is a high bar.” (via Keith Olbermann tweet) (51:00)

5. Jessica Reed Kraus: Scorned Kennedy Fan (41:00-46:50)

Jessica’s claim: Nuzzi acquired private gossip under false friendship, only to use it to manipulate/blackmail RFK Jr. and maintain contact.
Toxic infighting and misogyny: attacks on Nuzzi’s body and character (“big boned Meryl Streep”; “Amber Heard of Washington D.C.”), denigrating her as a “sweater dress two sizes too small.”
Chelsea’s aside: “Jessica is a patriarchal tool. And I do mean tool as an idiot, not tool.” (46:50)

6. Final Thoughts, Larger Meaning, and Critique (48:48-53:00)

Writing style as psychology: Nuzzi claims she wrote/edited the book entirely on her phone while hiking. Chelsea: “I read the book. I believe her.”
Ryan Lizza, in a Substack comment: “She couldn’t tell the real story…so she had to do this kind of psychedelic art project instead with a lot of hand waving and coyness and bullshit, and it just led her to create 300 pages of gibberish.” (51:00)
Despite chaos, Chelsea enjoys the mystery:
- “It takes a woman to turn this mockery of an administration and media climate and distill the whole thing down into the easily understood and digestible: This is a fucking joke.” (51:50)
Looking ahead: “To fully know where this story might be headed, we are going to dissect her memoir. So join me on Friday for part two… It’s going to get even weirder.” (52:48)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

“This is not a dueling piano situation. This is an orchestra.” — Chelsea (08:02)
On the writing style:
“Every other word is sucking the dick of the word that came before it.” — Chelsea (11:30)
Reading a Nuzzi sentence:
“We were primed to participate in the farcical parable…” (see transcript, full paragraph), then: “Basically, imagine reading 300 pages of that.” — (13:43)
On Nuzzi’s persona:
“This woman is pulling one of the finest and most desperate moves known to a woman in peril. The I’m a real sexy baby, don’t hurt me.” — Chelsea (15:00)
Alfred Hitchcock quote:
“Blondes make the best victims. They’re like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.” — quoted by Nuzzi, analyzed by Chelsea (15:30)
On Nuzzi’s lack of narrative:
“There are no chapters… it’s all just like one big vomit soup.” — Chelsea (16:55)
On the D.C./Hollywood parallel:
“There’s a saying that goes around DC…Washington DC is just like Hollywood, but for fives.” — Chelsea (27:30)
On RFK Jr.’s sexting:
“You’re open mouth, awaiting my harvest… I am a river, you are my canyon. I mean to flow through you.” — RFK Jr. to Nuzzi (39:00)
Chelsea’s reaction:
“Imagine a guy is sexting you…and then I’m gonna plug your nose so you drink my disgusting cum and don’t have a chance…” (39:51)
Keith Olbermann tweet:
“Trying to turn phone sex into Wuthering Heights is a high bar.” (51:00)

Important Segment Timestamps

03:30 — Character guide & summary of the scandal
09:38 — Olivia Nuzzi’s memoir is a mess: style, substance, structure
15:30 — “Blondes make the best victims” & meta-commentary on gendered power
23:30 — Early Olivia: from “Jailbait” to D.C. journalist & the parental backstory
30:00 — Ryan Lizza’s Substack: revelations, contradiction, complicity
39:00 — RFK Jr.’s “poetry slam” sexts read aloud (graphic comedic highlight)
41:00 — Jessica Reed Kraus’s social media meltdown and gendered abuse
48:48 — Analysis of the writer’s psyche & style, Lizza’s ultimate critique
51:50 — Chelsea’s meta critique: “This is a fucking joke.”
52:48 — Teaser for Part 2: “It’s going to get even weirder…”

Tone & Overall Take

For direct quotes, fuller context, and all the messy receipts, check recommended episodes, show notes, and Chelsea’s Patreon discussion group.

wavePod

Powered by Wave AI

Summary

Main Theme & Purpose

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Characters & Scandal (03:30-09:38)

2. Why is Olivia Nuzzi’s Memoir So Bad? (09:38-16:19)

3. Nuzzi’s Origin Story: Jailbait to Political Journalist (23:30-30:00)

4. Ryan Lizza’s Substack: Catapulting Out of Heartbreak (30:00-41:00)

5. Jessica Reed Kraus: Scorned Kennedy Fan (41:00-46:50)

6. Final Thoughts, Larger Meaning, and Critique (48:48-53:00)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

Important Segment Timestamps

Tone & Overall Take

Summary

Main Theme & Purpose

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Characters & Scandal (03:30-09:38)

2. Why is Olivia Nuzzi’s Memoir So Bad? (09:38-16:19)

3. Nuzzi’s Origin Story: Jailbait to Political Journalist (23:30-30:00)

4. Ryan Lizza’s Substack: Catapulting Out of Heartbreak (30:00-41:00)

5. Jessica Reed Kraus: Scorned Kennedy Fan (41:00-46:50)

6. Final Thoughts, Larger Meaning, and Critique (48:48-53:00)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

Important Segment Timestamps

Tone & Overall Take