Secret Lives of Mormon Wives S2E2: Barbecue Breakdown and Affleck Drama

Summary

Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast
Episode Summary: Secret Lives of Mormon Wives S2E2: Barbecue Breakdown and Affleck Drama
Release Date: May 22, 2025
Host: Chelsea Devantez
Guest: Emily Walker

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Introduction

In the second episode of Season 2 of "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," titled "Barbecue Breakdown and Affleck Drama," Chelsea Devantez and her guest, Emily Walker, delve deep into the tumultuous events surrounding a family barbecue that serves as the epicenter of scandal and drama within the show. This episode summary captures the critical discussions, character analyses, and insightful critiques presented by Chelsea and Emily.

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Plot Overview

The episode centers around a highly charged Halloween party organized by Jesse, one of the Mormon wives. The guest list is a veritable who's who of previous scandals, featuring Taylor, Miranda, Chase, Dakota, and new additions like Layla. The party quickly devolves into chaos as hidden tensions and past betrayals surface.

Key Scenes:

• Pre-Party Countdown: The episode employs a countdown mechanism ("Four days till the Halloween party") to heighten anticipation and set the stage for unfolding drama.
• Jesse's Strategy: Jesse invites Chase, Miranda's ex-husband, who harbors deep resentment towards Taylor for their past swinging lifestyle. This decision sets off a chain reaction of confrontations.
• Choreographed Humiliations: The inclusion of Chippendales performances as a means to antagonize participants adds a theatrical layer to the drama, reflecting the show's penchant for over-the-top scenarios.

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Character Analyses and Insights

1. Taylor’s Struggles: Chelsea and Emily express significant empathy for Taylor, highlighting her emotional turmoil amidst her divorce and the impact it has on her self-worth. Taylor's interactions are portrayed as deeply affected by her trauma, especially in front of her newborn child, adding layers to her character's vulnerability.

• Chelsea (02:55): "I feel like the manufactured pace, stakes, timing, what's gonna go down. And the premise of the Halloween party is so insane."

2. Jesse’s Manipulative Tactics: Jesse is criticized for perpetuating toxic dynamics despite earlier hopes that the women’s newfound empowerment would dismantle patriarchal structures.

• Emily (06:48): "She's putting them right back in their powerless position."

3. The Role of Layla: Layla's brief appearance and discussion about her "body done" journey shed light on contemporary beauty standards and the pressures faced by young women in Utah.

• Chelsea (07:29): "Listen, they all fetishize being young virgins."

4. Family Dynamics and Patriarchy: The barbecue serves as a microcosm of the show's exploration of patriarchal influences, with characters like Jeremy Taylor embodying the entrenched male authority and toxic masculine behaviors.

• Chelsea (12:00): "This ain't the Utah I grew up in."

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Critical Discussions and Themes

1. Toxic Feminism and Consumerism: Chelsea and Emily discuss how the show’s portrayal of feminism leans heavily into consumerism, sexuality, and individualism, potentially strengthening rather than dismantling patriarchal norms.

• Chelsea (06:48): "They're practicing such a toxic form of, quote, feminism."

2. Emotional Polygamy: The concept of "emotional polygamy" is introduced, describing how multiple relationships and betrayals intertwine, creating an environment of constant conflict and manipulation.

• Emily (23:25): "It really is."

3. Infantilization of Women: Taylor is depicted as being treated like a teenage girl despite being a mother and having experienced significant personal upheaval, which Chelsea and Emily find deeply problematic.

• Emily (15:01): "It felt like they were talking to a 16-year-old girl."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chelsea on Toxic Feminism:
  “They're practicing such a toxic form of, quote, feminism, where it's all about like, consumerism, sexuality, individualism and power.” [06:48]

• Emily on Emotional Polygamy:
  “This was just emotional polygamy.” [32:01]

• Chelsea Reflecting on Personal Trauma:
  “The darkest part of my 20s, like, really relates to Taylor.” [20:25]

• Emily on Family Dynamics:
  “It’s such a tricky place to be in because you just end up looking like you're punching down constantly too.” [33:13]

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Chelsea and Emily conclude the episode with reflections on the ongoing themes of patriarchal oppression and the challenges faced by the women in "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." They express a desire for the show to return to more authentic conflicts among the women rather than being entangled in their husbands' dramas.

• Emily (54:22): “We'd need some tension. We need a trip. We need to get them all in an Airbnb in Nashville.”

Final Takeaway:
The episode serves as a critical examination of how reality TV perpetuates toxic relationships and patriarchal norms under the guise of empowerment. Chelsea and Emily advocate for more genuine portrayals of female relationships and less focus on husbands' dramas to foster real growth and solidarity among the women.

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Additional Resources:

• Follow Emily Walker: Instagram @joy132
• Explore Related Shows: Sister Wives and The Valley on Bravo for similar themes and dynamics.

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This summary encapsulates the intense discussions and critical analyses presented in the podcast, offering listeners a comprehensive understanding of "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives S2E2" without needing to have listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Chelsea Dewances]

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[Emily Walker]

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[Chelsea Dewances]

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[Emily Walker]

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[Chelsea Dewances]

Fab Metro with T Mobile in the past six months Tax supplies. Welcome to Glamorous Crash. This is a celebrity memoir podcast that also covers viral articles and trashy discourse to elevate your life. And today we're back with episode two of season two of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Episode two is called the Book of Accountability and I'm your host, Chelsea Dewances. I'm a TV writer, comedian, filmmaker, author. Sometimes I'm in stuff too. And I am back with our guest from episode one, my good friend, Emily Walker.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Noted comedian, actress, Jack White. Lover.

[Emily Walker]

Okay, I am never gonna live that down.

[Chelsea Dewances]

We've known each other since we were 22 years old and if you're in deep on the podcast, you know the lore of Emily. And I hope you're screaming that she's here to, to talk about Mormon Wives.

[Emily Walker]

Secret member of the Patreon as well.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Ah, she's in the comments. She's a supporter.

[Emily Walker]

Not in the comments. But I look, I, I poke around sometimes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Voyeur.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, I'm a voyeur for sure. I like that.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Now, the Book of Accountability. Here's the little logline online mom talk gathers for an explosive Halloween party with key players from the swinging scandal on the guest list. Taylor's self worth is tested when her dad makes a cutting remark about her past and Jen gets caught in lies. This episode, wild, to quote Mormon Wives, was freaking weird. Yeah, freaking crazy. Freaking, freaking, freaking wild.

[Emily Walker]

What the frick, man?

[Chelsea Dewances]

What the freaking, man? I love the amount of freaking and weird freaking, man, because these people have Also started incorporating fuck into their language. But freaking has remained from the days when they were still a good Mormon. So now it's like, I freaking don't care that I fucked him.

[Emily Walker]

I also love the way they say the word deal as dull. Yeah, it's not really a big dull.

[Chelsea Dewances]

It's not a big dull. It's Utah accent is somewhere has like a little bit valley girl, a little bit Midwest. It's its own little frickin thing.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Frickin' frickin' so this episode begins with Jesse planning a Halloween party.

[Emily Walker]

And again, I'm sorry to harp on their age, but Jesse's 32, so by far the oldest. The oldest wife.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And Jesse, really? Jesse's here for the business. Jesse said Jay Z Stiles is gonna go wild. I must get myself on camera. Because her friendships aren't really natural. The chemistry is not natural. And this woman took notes on season one and said, I'm coming to play.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Have you seen her billboards for her hair salon and it says jizz styles.

[Emily Walker]

I have, I have. I've seen the tiktoks that have shown them.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, Jizz styles. And she's the queen of Utah waves and hair extensions.

[Emily Walker]

Love that. I. I've seen other because again, we're, we're really tapping the natural resource that is Salt Lake City. There was a show called Sold on SLC that was on Bravo that was about Salt Lake City real estate that I watched. And several of the gals got their hair done there, I believe. Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

What a crossover.

[Emily Walker]

So.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So she's been on the bubble for a while.

[Emily Walker]

Yes. Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Okay. So this entire episode has a countdown. Like it'll be like four days till the Halloween party. Three days till the Halloween party. And I listen, I love a manufactured pace, stakes, timing, what's gonna go down. And the premise of the Halloween party is so insane. She goes, trust is everything in mom talk with friends. And so I invited Chase, who is Miranda's ex husband, who they divorced because he had a thing for Taylor. He now hates Taylor. They yell at each other. They disagree over who swang or did not swang. Do you like how I've just made swing?

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, past tense.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And she's like, so I'm gonna surprise. Invite him to my Halloween party with his new girlfriend Miranda to the Halloween party with her new boyfriend, their ex husband, ex wife. I'm also inviting Taylor to the party, who was a swinger with them, who had stuff with Chase. And then Taylor's ex, Dakota.

[Emily Walker]

Correct.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Messy Jesse.

[Emily Walker]

Messy, messy, messy, messy.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Messy, messy, messy. Jesse. And so she launches it with like, oh, your husband's calling.

[Emily Walker]

Shut up.

[Chelsea Dewances]

We're talking about Mormon wives. Don't you. Didn't you watch the show? Women are the breadwinners now. Patriarchy's over.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. I love that they keep spewing that word. I'm like, they don't know what they're saying.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So season one in my magnum opus again, I'll link it. It was an episode where I think I had written a nine page essay.

[Emily Walker]

Amazing.

[Chelsea Dewances]

For what, Emily? For what?

[Emily Walker]

So that the demons didn't come at night.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That's right. Get them at bay. I really strongly believed that this crazy little trash can of a show was truly going to break the church and break patriarchy because these women became the breadwinners because they did it in tank tops that showed full shoulder. Because they were owning their sexuality. And I was like, this is so sorry. Funny. It's going to break this institution that has oppressed women for a long time, whether they really mean to or not. It's going to. This season. I don't know if I believe that anymore because they are practicing such a toxic form of, quote, feminism, where it's all about like, consumerism, sexuality, individualism and power, that I think they're making it stronger.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, I think so too.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Which made me sad because last season I was like, they are the breadwinners. They're doing an ad with a vibrator, right? Women. They're freeing the women from the church. And this season I'm like, they're putting them right back in their powerless position.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, I think nothing has really changed.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Or a little worse. So Layla, who has more than a sentence on camera this season is so nice.

[Emily Walker]

It's so nice. But her first real big scene is saying, hey, guys, I'm 23 and I got my body done. Her body. I got my body done.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So clearly there is a boob job. But what else is she talking about?

[Emily Walker]

Body done mean?

[Chelsea Dewances]

Because there's. Listen, if there's bbls happening in Utah, then baptize me now. That's not a. I. Maybe. Listen, I lived there a long time ago. It is really hard for me to accept a BBL culture in Utah because it is just so extremely white beauty standards.

[Emily Walker]

Right?

[Chelsea Dewances]

So what, she got some calves implants? Like, she. Her face looks the same.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, I think she probably got some fat sucked out of her midsection and got her. Her boobs done or lifted or something. I was watching something, but basically just like how popular plastic surgery is with, like, youth. With, like, Gen Z. And, like. Because it's just, like, accepted. Yeah, it's very accepted. It's very. They see it as very empowering to, like, fully change their body. Fully change. Before they're. They're done growing. Before they're, like, fully developed.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Before, you know, if that. That bone in your body is gonna.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, before your brain develops even, like.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You know, same with the fillers and the Botox. Young, too, because there's this great episode of Diabolical Lies where I learned that filler, you know, they're like, oh, it dissolves. I mean, it dissolves, but it doesn't fully leave your body. So it's just layers and layers of filler at one point. Well, anyways, Layla did that. I guess.

[Emily Walker]

We don't know. Just body done is all we can.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Body done. And she's out. She's around. She's dating someone new.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Whose dad is a bishop.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And there's. There's a lot of racial dynamics in Utah and in this show that are not being addressed or talked about. And Layla, you know, she had made a whole video on TikTok on, like, why she does her hair that way, because, you know, everything is modeled after, like, whiteness.

[Emily Walker]

Right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So I just want her to have more of a voice and more of a storyline. And I'm rooting for her and her body.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, I'm rooting for Layla. I don't think we're gonna get much from her, it seems like, but she's just, like, there.

[Chelsea Dewances]

She's there. Well, she did post, I think, on Instagram, a picture of her in an outfit. It's a nude outfit. It's biker shorts and a sports bra.

[Emily Walker]

Okay.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Full fledged Herbie, fully loaded camel toe. The most intense. Intense in a way where, like, there's no way it was unplanned.

[Emily Walker]

Maybe she got it. That's what she got done.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. And then people commented on her Instagram, and she's like, for those of you who are offended. And she wrote, reposted it with a little heart emoji over it, because I think she wanted to show off her lips. New lips. So I think that's maybe what potty done. Because, listen, they all fetishize being young virgins.

[Emily Walker]

Right, Right. That's true.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Okay, so then we go to a scene where it's the husbands Dads of TikTok. What is that? What do they call themselves?

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, man talk Husbands of TikTok or something. Yeah, yeah, whatever.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They're trying it. They're loving it. It's Dakota.

[Emily Walker]

It's Brett, which is Demi's.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Demi. Demi's husband, and Zach. And they're fly fishing. They're fly fishing to the point where there's like, clearly, like three cameras. They can't get them all in a wide shot. They're trying to catch one guy. And Dakota is like, fly fishing is like my therapy. And I said, bro, that therapy ain't working.

[Emily Walker]

That ain't real therapy, sweetie.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You need to get yourself to a clinic.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And they're like, just talk. They're talking about stuff. There's like, oh, man. Oh, I hope Taylor takes me back. And I'm just like, oh, he's just fully a character on this show now.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then we go to. And then they're just counting down like, we've done. We've been fly fishing now there's a Halloween party coming up. We go to our first scene with Jeremy Taylor's dad, who is serving stepdad energy. He's all. He's also. He is also technically her stepdad.

[Emily Walker]

Yes, yes. But he gives like you. You'd see him on the street or, you know, at a lumber establishment.

[Chelsea Dewances]

A lumber establishment, sure. Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

That I go to all the time.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, we all go to the lumber.

[Emily Walker]

And you'd be like, that guy's clearly a stepdad. You know, like, the way he tucks his shirt in.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You know, the way he combs his not hair, almost no hair.

[Emily Walker]

The way he wears that polo from Kirkland, from Cost. So he's a stepdad.

[Chelsea Dewances]

He's stepped up. And he is on the phone with Dakota being like, we're held in a family barbecue. Even though you've cheated on my daughter, she hates you. She's throwing a fit. And he says, you better be there, pussy. And I said, oh, my stars. And I said, this ain't the Utah I grew up in.

[Emily Walker]

That's so funny.

[Chelsea Dewances]

It was. Really. Because also, when do you even. Like, when have you seen, like, Real Housewives husbands be like you?

[Emily Walker]

No. Never felt really distinct. Yeah, it's. It's clear that Taylor's mom and stepdad have an affinity for Dakota or that he has manipulated them in some way so that, you know. Or he's only shown parts of himself to make him appear like he is this really great guy.

[Chelsea Dewances]

No, I think they know he's a ding dong dummy. And it's just full patriarchy. Being like, but the boy's the best. Our daughter is.

[Emily Walker]

But he's here now.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Cheating little.

[Emily Walker]

Right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

He's there. Please stay with our stupid Daughter like, they treat her like trash. They think he's amazing and like, why are we having a family barbecue after this man was just caught cheating with one phone in each hand. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break right now and we'll be right back. Team Mom Z. My mom texted me a selfie and she said, I need makeup help. And I said, good, because now I know what I'm getting you for mother's Day. I got her a bit a bunch of products from Thrive cosmetics. Let me just tell you what I got her. The brilliant eye brightener, the deluxe mini liquid lash volumizer mascara. I also got her the instant brow fix and two lip filler long wearing plumping lip liners. I cannot recommend these products more. They're vegan, they're cruelty free, and Thrive Cosmetics donates to causes that really matter with every single purchase. If you just get one product, get the brilliant eye brightener mini in Stella Champagne Shimmer is my favorite shade. You're gonna change your eye game. It also has over 40,000 five star reviews, so don't just take my word for it. Discover your new trusty favorite from Thrive Cosmetics. Luxury beauty that gives back. You can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com glamorous that's Thrive Cosmetics. C A U S e m e t-I c s.com glamorous for 20% off your first order, go celebrate your teen mom Z and also get some for yourself.

[Emily Walker]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Okay, let's dive back into the episode, the trauma of this barbecue. Not only do I not think Taylor will ever overcome the trauma from this barbecue, I will never get over the trauma I experienced by watching this family barbecue.

[Emily Walker]

You were personally victimized as well.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I think we all were, were you not? This is horrifying.

[Emily Walker]

It was really horrifying to watch. And again, I think this is the infantilization of her where it just felt like it did not feel like they were talking to a full grown woman who has been through a marriage and divorce and has what, three kids? It felt like they were talking to a 16 year old girl who was having an emotional fit and not validating anything that she was saying or having any real idea how hurt she actually was by all of this.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Or knowing and not caring.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And blaming her. So the whole family has basically gathered to talk about how Dakota cheated on her. But Taylor should get over it because they have a newborn. The newborn is at the barbecue in her plastic surgery zombie mom's arms and witnessing all of it. And I know. You're like a little baby. No, no. Witnessing all of it.

[Emily Walker]

Oh, baby's there for the. This. The screaming match that happened.

[Chelsea Dewances]

It's heartbreaking. This show is pretty dark. This is like an extremely dark show. And her brother is there, her younger sister's there, and her brother's girlfriend's there.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And her brother's over here. They're like, taylor, get over it. Dakota didn't really cheat. You weren't really together. It doesn't really count. And her brother says, taylor, a relationship isn't 50, 50. It's 100% on both ends. I said, hmm, I could go on a little, I don't know, like a little stone at a gift shop. Yeah, you buy for $2. What do you think? You think that quote's right?

[Emily Walker]

I think I've seen the same TikTok that he got that from. Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, that's right. And he's over here saying it like, yeah, like I have solved everything. And Taylor, I'm barely. I don't even know if I'm going to exaggerate. She's like, listen to this family. Dakota comes over, fucks me, then goes to that other girl's house, makes out with her, leaves her, comes back, fucks me again. I'm like. And I'm from my couch. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There's children here. We're at a barbecue.

[Emily Walker]

Your child, your child.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, you little bitch. He goes, I'mma be blunt, freaking honest with you right now. Dakota just told me that he'd only hung out with you three times when this happened. And he had sex with you. And then he points his finger across the picnic table as Dakota's like, stuff in his mouth, full of corn. And he's like, what does that say about you, Taylor and I, yeah, I think I'm gonna, like, try and find out where Jeremy works or something. Like something has to be done about this man.

[Emily Walker]

He's the. He's the, you know, the regional manager of a Costco, I'm sure.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And I Think if we all come.

[Emily Walker]

Together, we can find it for sure.

[Chelsea Dewances]

He could let his boss know that he. I mean, the guy who had sex with your daughter is sitting across from you and you are yelling at her for letting him have sex with her. So soon as he's like, see, it was fine. I'm a good boy. It was really sad. And she starts viciously crying and she's like, I told you I'm trash. That's what I'm saying. He treats me like trash. And then the mom, I don't know if you saw it in the frame, but the mom's just like holding the baby and she's like, he came over and fuck me. She doesn't flinch. And he cheated on me. She doesn't flinch. And then Jeremy goes, what does that say about you, Taylor? And the mom just lightly taps his arm. Two fingers. Two fingers of a. Oop, Yep.

[Emily Walker]

A little too far.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And the barbecue continues.

[Emily Walker]

At one point, somebody like, ushers a child away.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yes. I think, I think thankfully someone sent Jeremy in the child way. They're like, jeremy, you shouldn't be here anymore, Papaw.

[Emily Walker]

Go take the kids out of here because you're. Now you've messed this up too far.

[Chelsea Dewances]

He also, like, earlier was like, you're gonna dress slutty for Halloween. It's like, Jeremy. Oh God, sir.

[Emily Walker]

That's what I'm saying. It's like, it's like a 16 year old where again. And I think that Taylor seems like the type of girl where her parents have probably had to bail her out a lot or help her out a lot. And so they probably feel entitled to the treat her like crap.

[Chelsea Dewances]

But also they've been holding her up to this good Mormon girl rubric.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That she can't exist in because of who she is, her personality and what her mom's, what she's been through as a child. And then they're punishing for it, her for it. And then she's learning all this stuff about like, I'm a bad person, I'm a bad person.

[Emily Walker]

Yes, she's definitely taking it all on herself. But to play devil's advocate, oh my God, you're playing Jeremy to be a little Jeremy. Because again, like, I think she knew that Dakota was messing around, was not fully committed, that they were in the beginning. She knew she was having sex with somebody who they hadn't established a committed relationship with. And so for me, I almost feel like when she's bringing up these kind of semantics about like, was it this time or was it this time that's not really what she's upset about.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

You know, I think she's upset that she got pregnant by this guy and kept the baby, and now she's forever tied to him. And I think she's taking that all onto herself, and she can't say that. So now it's, let me get you out of here now so that I can, like, try and process and move on or whatever. Because I think it's easier to be like, no, he's a cheater. He's a piece of shit. Let me get him out of my life, than to say, why have I put myself in this situation? Not that she's fully put herself in that situation, but I think that's how she's viewing it.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. Interesting. I. I don't. I. I think that's a really good point, and I think it might be true. But when I think really, sadly. Because the darkest part of my 20s, like, really relates to Taylor.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Which is sad. But I just have a lot of empathy for her and.

[Emily Walker]

No, I fully have empathy for her. Like, as somebody who is, like, made mistakes or gone through things in my life or felt like certain things were my karmic punishment, when that, like, seeing it on her, you're like, that's so stupid.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. And you're also like, honey, karma's Buddhism, right. You don't believe in that, so that's not karma.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. When she's basically was like, I'm trash. And this is what I get for.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Like, treating a swinger, getting divorced.

[Emily Walker]

This is my punishment. Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

That. When you see somebody say that, you're like, that's the stupidest thing ever. That's not what life is. But I've done that to myself so many times, so I fully get that.

[Chelsea Dewances]

No, no. And I know you have empathy for her. I mean, like, I. I think I'm projecting too hard. Because I remember times in my life, the way I was jealous about Emily. What? How could we best describe the types of men I did in my 20s who really.

[Emily Walker]

Oh, boy.

[Chelsea Dewances]

No. I could have been dating, like, this fucking cup. And if the cup was held by another person, I was like, did you like being touched? Like. Like, literally. It could have been. I could have been dating a mannequin, and I would have been pissed at it. Like, I was bringing my baggage to stuff. But in those moments, I sincerely, deeply felt deep pain and jealousy over women who didn't matter, other people who didn't matter. Things I'd made up in my head.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And I Guess maybe we could be like, oh, I was trying to push them away, but I really think I was trying to marry them. Not marry them. I was trying to. Honestly, I didn't even give a fuck about them. I wanted them to choose me. I just wanted.

[Emily Walker]

You wanted the validation? Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I wanted to know that I could be chosen. Even if I thought you were the worst, most unfunniest piece of dog shit in the world, I wanted you to choose me. And I think the worse you were and the more you didn't choose me, the more it hurt because I said that's how trash I am.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And I think she's sincerely, like, in pain over Dakota. Meeting her, having sex with her, and not being like, I'm in love, you're the best. And still wanting to have sex with someone else. I think she's truly taking it as a mark of her value.

[Emily Walker]

Right. And I get that. And that makes a lot of sense.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So then her brother's like, I got it, I got it, I got it. Give him an inch so he can walk a mile. I said, where is he getting these quotes?

[Emily Walker]

Little meme queen guy is walking through. Michael's being like, okay, that is great.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That pillow. Dang good. Couples therapy is just like a walk through a homegoods aisle.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And the one thing I'll give her parents and her family is that, like, she just went viral for some swinging. She's getting a divorce. They're like, please don't date again. She starts dating Dakota, they're like, please, not that guy she gets pregnant. Like that. They probably just have a big case of, like, we told you not to do this. So now that you're in it, get right, like, get over it and raise your child.

[Emily Walker]

Yes. Like, we don't want to hear you crying about it. Like, it's. At this point, we're two for two of Taylor, Frankie, Paul having full meltdown breakdowns in episodes. Like, each episode she's having, like, a full, full blown.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Could just be her episode. She's given us enough.

[Emily Walker]

Oh, she's more than enough.

[Chelsea Dewances]

She.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, she. She is the toxic sadness that keeps that show plugging along, honey.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, that's right. Very toxic sadness. And it's tough. Every time I see on camera, I said, is that me at 24? But here's the thing. Here's the thing. It all gets better because then her brother says it takes a season to grow anything. What do you think about that one, Emily?

[Emily Walker]

You know, I thought her brother was spitting a lot of nice stuff. I felt Like, I. I was like, wow. My brothers don't make eye contact and, like, pat me on the back and then keep moving. So the fact that he.

[Chelsea Dewances]

This is pretty good.

[Emily Walker]

This is really nice. Yeah, that's nice.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That's nice. All right. Yeah. Finally, the younger sister, thank God, is like, no, you should be separated, Taylor. You don't need to give him grace. Give yourself grace. If you guys are supposed to figure this out, God will bring him back to you. I said, please, God, don't bring back that. It's like a dish you send back to the kitchen. You don't want to see it again. She said, put it in God's hands. I said, this will be a test if God is real. Because if God sends Dakota back to you, Taylor, we gotta question some things. And the sister is like, please, just stay separated. This is really bad for you. And I just thank God for little sisters.

[Emily Walker]

I was gonna say that the younger sister in the family truly is like, the truth teller and the truth seer.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That's right.

[Emily Walker]

And that's why my sister is becoming a therapist, because.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And that's why I am who I am, because I only have brothers. So I'm the younger s. So.

[Emily Walker]

And I'm the oldest, if that. So that will tell you. And a Virgo, you know, so I've got. I've got a lot of problems. I've got a lot of problems. But, yeah, that. That younger sister will just, like, pierce through the veil every time of, like, here's what it is. And for some reason, we're all like, yes, like, because it's true. You can't deny it.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And she. She waits. She knows she can't speak first. Well, then the mom is like, I know. Let's pray. So, okay. She's got her arms folded in the prayer pose, and she said, jesus Christ, please help them. And I said, don't invoke Jesus. Don't want to be at this barbecue. Don't invoke him right now. He don't want to be there. And she's like, please. You know, she barely gets through it. She's like, help Taylor and Dakota Lovey.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. She doesn't know what to say.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

And again, I think that's just because she's still healing from all of her surgeries.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And so not to mention any of her life issues that she is not even touched.

[Emily Walker]

She might be highly medicated at this point.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You know, I think she must be really rocking some Vicodin at that bar, because she's just smiling, holding that baby Scream things that should never be.

[Emily Walker]

She's just playing an image of her hot self in her brain.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Like, la, la, la, la, la.

[Emily Walker]

That's great.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You know, my extensions are touching. I'm sitting on them. They're so long. Okay, now, do you think that this is an accident or the editors at the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives are plugged the in because did you notice what song plays after this barbecue where Dakota has cheated on her, but they blame it all on Taylor?

[Emily Walker]

No.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Justin Timberlake's Cry Me a River. Now, it's a cover. Obviously we can't get that, but it's like some other AI man being like, cry.

[Emily Walker]

And I said, how dare the layers.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Because when Justin Timberlake cheated on Britney Spears, he got the whole world to blame it on Britney.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And sang Cry Me a River with a Britney Spears in the music video.

[Emily Walker]

And we all made. We all felt sorry for him.

[Chelsea Dewances]

We all felt sorry for him. We said, that cheating whore.

[Emily Walker]

Yep. What's this decision?

[Chelsea Dewances]

This is. Was it just the stock music avail or is this editor listening to Glamour Strash? And he said, this one goes out to all my cookies.

[Emily Walker]

I mean, in my dreams that's what's going on. But I think it was a 22 year old who was like, oh, she cried at the end of that scene. Cry, cry. Oh, okay.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Search stock music library.

[Emily Walker]

Because as her mom was praying, Taylor just was like, slowly just like sobbing, like at the end of the table. Like, it truly.

[Chelsea Dewances]

It's dark.

[Emily Walker]

And look, I've cried through many family prayers, but, you know, it's not great. It's not where you want to be.

[Chelsea Dewances]

No. But you know what? Listen, everyone's eyes are closed, their heads are bowed. We're already there. Tears are flowing down.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, Let it go.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Let it go. Well, then, Jesse, Jesse the messy Baptist.

[Emily Walker]

I thought about you in this scene particularly as well.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Tell me why.

[Emily Walker]

Well, because at one point, if this is a scene where they're meeting up with Zach. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. Because at one point I did have to have a sit down with one of the guys you were dating. I don't know if you remember this.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. Okay, let's tell listeners, basically Jin showed Demi and then maybe Jesse these horrible text messages Zach had sent her where he's like, I hate you. I don't love you. You're disgusting.

[Emily Walker]

This is after the blow up in Vegas. Yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Where he's like, I'm married to you. Horrible things.

[Emily Walker]

Because she walked into a Chippendales theater.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. Meanwhile he is downstairs gambling, which is.

[Emily Walker]

Not allowed, which is yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And basically is just a monster to her. And she shows the messages to her friends. His defenses. Those weren't meant to be shared. You were supposed to suffer alone, idiot.

[Emily Walker]

I love the defense of a man being like. He just kept being like. They weren't. I mean, they weren't supposed to be for public, but anyway. And it's like, so that's even worse, actually.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I was trying to berate my wife.

[Emily Walker]

So you. You know how to act. You know how you're supposed to be, and you don't act like that in public. And you wait to act like that when you're behind closed doors and it's just her. That's even worse. That's even way more demented.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You're so right. You're so right. And so now Jen's like, I'm back together with my yellow highlighter husband. And they're like, we don't like him anymore. And she's like, no, please. I'm a please. Everyone must like each other. I know. You guys should talk to Zach so that Zach can apologize to you. You can like my husband again, who I've accepted back, and he can like my friends.

[Emily Walker]

Right. If I'm going to be a part of mom talk, then we have to squash this so that we can all exist together.

[Chelsea Dewances]

As toxic as that barbecue was, I think this is swinging on the same level.

[Emily Walker]

This was really a hard scene to watch. It was just like. And again, where Jen is just being fucking kicked around this whole time.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. Well, what happens is they meet without her. As trusting Jen believes this will go well, let's talk about what happened. And then we're gonna pull in.

[Emily Walker]

You did this.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So meets with him, and they're like, why did you do these horrible things? Like, why did you gamble away the money your family gave you for medical school? And now Jen has to pay for medical school with all of her TikTok money. And he was like, that's a blatant lie because he's defending himself. And they're like, well, Jen told us. And so then they also.

[Emily Walker]

They turn on Jen immediately.

[Chelsea Dewances]

The worst friends in the world.

[Emily Walker]

Immediately.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Exact way to keep your friends in an abusive, emotionally abusive relationship, which she is in.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And they're like, that's not true, Zach. So then Jen lied to us. Jesse's then like, well, she uses really harsh, scary language about you, like, narcissist. And so we're really afraid of you because of Jen's language. And then they cut to the clip where Jen is like, zach really takes accountability. You have no idea how much he shows up. For me, we're really talking a lot about narcissism.

[Emily Walker]

Right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And Jesse just took the worst part. And she's like, so Jen's language has portrayed you to be a monster, but it turns out you're a really good guy because you've been sitting with us in another Airbnb, I guess.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

For like, five minutes.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then he's like, I don't want to say anything bad about Jen. I'm like, that's what your friends should be doing.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, exactly. Like, at least Zach is, like, trying to do the right thing, but he's also kind of throwing his wife under the bus a little bit, too, because there was another lie or moment that came up because he was like, well, Jen says you guys don't reach out anymore. And they were like, we do reach out. We do reach out. So it seems like they're just like, everything's getting lost in translation. It was a very stupid idea for them to meet without Jen there, I think.

[Chelsea Dewances]

But also, you want to believe that these women won't participate in the emotional abuse and alienate Jen further into this marriage. And they. They flipped so fast, it made me hate them both.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. It really soured me on Jesse and to me.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. And I was like. I'm like, okay, so these two women are negotiating Jen's relationship with Zach. Taylor's whole family is having a barbecue about Dakota's cheating. I was like, what? What? Everyone is involved. I'm like, it's a. It's emotional polygamy.

[Emily Walker]

It really is.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They're all in on everyone's relationship. Okay, this feels like a good time to take a quick break. The new McCrispy strip is here.

[Emily Walker]

Dip approved by ketchup.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Tangy barbecue Honey mustard. Honey mustard Sprite McFlurry, Big Mac sauce. Double dipped in buffalo and ranch.

[Emily Walker]

More ranch and creamy chili. McCrispy strip dip now at McDonald's. Does it ever feel like you're a.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Marketing professional just speaking into the Boyd?

[Emily Walker]

Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company seniority, skills. Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Okay, welcome back. Let's continue the conversation.

[Emily Walker]

I feel like Jesse and me and probably like, Mikayla and Macy too. Like, that core group of girls that is not, like, putting their.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They don't want the drama to be about their.

[Emily Walker]

Correct. Their relationships are not about, like, the drama doesn't come from them. They get to, like, speak on the drama, which is just, like. It's such a tricky place to be in because you just end up looking like you're punching down constantly too.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Totally.

[Emily Walker]

Okay.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Honestly, when you first started talking, I thought you were gonna talk about the time when I spoke to your dude. So I'm gonna need you to refresh me on what I think. I know. I'm trying to recall.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. So you were. I want. Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

No names.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, of course, of course, of course.

[Chelsea Dewances]

But enough so I know who it is.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, of course. That's. Yeah. So, like, Big Ding bat, who I really did not like, who I felt like was kind of, like dicking you around for a while, which, honestly, could.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Be all of them. But I do know who she's talking about.

[Emily Walker]

Okay. And who I just had a particular disdain for in general. Like, tried to perform with this person. It was a nightmare situation. Like, truly. Just, like, I don't like this person, and he's now, like, was a dick to my best friend, now is dating my best friend, and somehow I have to, like, be okay with this person.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, because your best friend is like, please, I love him.

[Emily Walker]

He's the best. And she's like, I waited for this and I fought for this, and I got it.

[Chelsea Dewances]

There was something so utterly thrilling about convincing someone to love me. I felt like, such a winner. It was. It was a tough feeling to turn down.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. And I get that. And so, yeah, I was like, I think on an improv team with this person, and then you were also dating them. So I had to. So I think be chill. I had to be chill. So I think I maybe reached out and said, we need to have coffee and just, like, figure this out.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That brought back a memory. That's right.

[Emily Walker]

We met up before we had our improv practice, as one does. And I don't think anything was. I don't think anything came out of it because again, he is such an asshole.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I think you were like, you better not mistreat her. And he's like, eh, we'll see.

[Emily Walker]

Like, girl with no daddy now has daddy to come and, like, go be like, you gotta treat my girl right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You don't have a daddy, so you don't know how to be my daddy.

[Emily Walker]

No, I have no idea. What daddies do.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You're trying. You're doing your best.

[Emily Walker]

I'm really trying.

[Chelsea Dewances]

We're all just 24, doing improv.

[Emily Walker]

And, yeah, I think I just walked away, like, being more pissed off and being like, oh, this guy sucks. But thankfully, we went on a cruise ship, and so.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That's. Right.

[Emily Walker]

Pretty soon after that. So I think things.

[Chelsea Dewances]

He and I were separated because you and I went to the high seas.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I don't know if I'll have the strength to keep this in, but I do want to say that he and I performed together. We also did a little improv team together. And towards the end of our relationship, on stage, he spit on me as part of, like, comedy spit. And then no one knew what to do. And so then the person calling the lights just blacked it out and it's on video. Oh, and this motherfucker put it on Vimeo. So if you really want to get.

[Emily Walker]

Into it, folks, I think so.

[Chelsea Dewances]

When I say I know how Taylor Frankie Paul feels dating literal scum.

[Emily Walker]

Jesus Christ.

[Chelsea Dewances]

We know. Okay, so.

[Emily Walker]

And you probably. I don't. I don't think you told me that. And that's.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Well, there was a whole audience there, so I figured it could get back to you if it made an impression.

[Emily Walker]

How?

[Chelsea Dewances]

I can barely tell.

[Emily Walker]

The podcast, 18 years later. True, true, true. We found our way out of that through copious bottles of $2 wine and.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And multiple two woman sketch shows.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, we figured it out.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Made a whole web series about it fast. Yeah, it honestly went pretty far for us. We got a lot of material.

[Emily Walker]

We got a lot of material. That guy.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And guess who didn't make it into my book?

[Emily Walker]

That guy.

[Chelsea Dewances]

True Healing didn't even come up. And I was like, look at that. Now back into the story. You didn't throw me under the bus at the coffee. No, because you've got. If you're losing someone to an emotionally abusive relationship. Not saying, I don't even know. I don't know, but if you're losing someone to a relationship that you don't think is good for them, you gotta stay in touch. You can't alienate them further. They are monsters. Then Jesse's like, all right, you know how I invited Chase to this party? Well, I've also decided we're gonna have a Chippendales performance. And Brett and my husband. So their own husbands are gonna dress as Chippendale dancers.

[Emily Walker]

They have flown out a Chippendale's man.

[Chelsea Dewances]

A Chippendale man. A Chippendale, A Dale to teach. And Dance with them to perform at the Halloween party to test Jen and Zach to see if Zack reacts okay to their husbands pretending to be Chippendales at the Halloween party. Listen, Jesse said, I guess my pussy surgery in season one wasn't enough. I gotta be in storylines this season.

[Emily Walker]

I gotta f the auntie.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Here we go, then. Day one Halloween party is here.

[Emily Walker]

We're here.

[Chelsea Dewances]

She's like. And we've decided to dress as JLo and Ben Affleck to further antagonize her good friend. And I said, you know, to anyone listening who's a writer out there, this is just a great lesson in heightening. Jesse keeps heightening the game.

[Emily Walker]

And it's like from that scene with Zach where she totally threw her friend under the bus. I was like, this is not a good person. And then she somehow topped it.

[Chelsea Dewances]

She topped it like, it was even worse.

[Emily Walker]

It was astonishing to see and to not walk away from that being like, maybe we should cancel the Chippendales dance. Or maybe not do as good as Ben and Jen. Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Now, then, Jen Affleck and Zach come to the party, also dressed as Jen and Ben's. Because now they can't make fun of themselves because they're being made fun of. They are in the not as good costumes. Jesse has found one of the green JLO dresses, and I.

[Emily Walker]

Do you know how close I was? No. She looked phenomenal. I have to say.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I'm like, where the fuck did you get that dress, man? I've searched for it.

[Emily Walker]

Hmm. I think we can find it.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Well, yeah, but, like, not for $3,000.

[Emily Walker]

You know what I mean? Okay, well, that's probably what she did. I know.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So I said, wow, wow, wow. Now, I don't know if this is in the third episode or not, but do you recognize the overalls I'm wearing right now?

[Emily Walker]

That must have been episode three.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Jesse and I have the same overalls. I'm wearing them for this episode. This makes it the sixth time I have watched a Real housewife named Whitney or a Mormon wife named Jesse wear something on screen. And I said, I own that.

[Emily Walker]

Okay. You know, I don't think that's. I think that's cool.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Why are you lying? Don't you act like people please me. All right, now, by the way, I think in episode three, they're gonna address that he was never related to Ben Affleck. And he completely.

[Emily Walker]

That is season two.

[Chelsea Dewances]

That is exactly.

[Emily Walker]

Or episode two. Yes. So they have.

[Chelsea Dewances]

What a piece of dog shit. He on camera is like, I never said that to you, Jen. I never said I was related to Ben Affleck. And she's like, okay, why did your grandfather, mother, sister and you all say that you were?

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, see, that's what's so hard. Because I do think Jen is a people pleasing liar a little bit. So I'm like, I can't tell if.

[Chelsea Dewances]

She'S like, no way.

[Emily Walker]

But she was so excited to. She was like, yeah, I'm going to tell everyone that I'm a second cousin with Ben Affleck.

[Chelsea Dewances]

This family loved saying that to people.

[Emily Walker]

They figured out, what's the harm?

[Chelsea Dewances]

What's the harm? They'll never be found out. This girl certainly won't get famous on TikTok and become a reality TV star. And the Internet won't do literal genealogy on Ben Affleck's family because that dumbass went on Roots himself and it's all out there. And I'm calling him a dumbass because I do believe when Ben Affleck found out about it, he tried to edit it out of the episode. Okay, if that is still in the podcast, it is true. So when I say so, everyone instantly was like, you are not cousins. And then Zack, I think Zach is lying. He's like, I never said that, Jen. He's smiling as he says it. She's like, then why did your grandfather tell me, like on his deathbed that.

[Emily Walker]

When they admit that they had met Ben Affleck when he was a little kid or something.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Also, like, if you are related to Ben Affleck, a brunette man with a chiseled feature, you've got to be like hundredth cousins again. Recessive gene Affleck. How dare you?

[Emily Walker]

To go from Ben Affleck to Tilda Swinton is. It's a journey and I need scientists to study it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And so, okay, so they've come in, then Chase shows up.

[Emily Walker]

Chase, we're at the party. Chase is at the party.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Chase has shown up. Chase, again was a swinger who was never shown on season one, who went online all the time to talk about how Taylor was lying. Finally, he and Miranda divorced. They both instantly find new partners. Okay, I have something bad to admit.

[Emily Walker]

Okay, you want to guess what it is that you're sexually attracted to Chase. That's right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I knew it. I walked in and I said, whoa. I said, that little headshot they've been showing on screen ain't doing you no favors.

[Emily Walker]

No. He is the most attractive guy on the show. Thank God. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I. He walked In. I said, whoa, that is not what I was expecting. He looked like a little, little button boy. And he walked in a man. I said, am I finding neck tattoos hot for the first time in my life?

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

When has a man pulled off a neck tattoo like that?

[Emily Walker]

The tats were really hot. But also, like, are the tattoos, like, a new thing within Mormonism? Like, is that allowed? I'm not.

[Chelsea Dewances]

No, it's definitely not. And so he's like, I am a mission returned. Like, married in the temple. Which is, like, there's levels to your Mormonism, like, truly categorized. Like, if you get married in the temple, that is a certain level of having LDs abided by rules and regulations and whatever different than, like, if you got married outside of the temple.

[Emily Walker]

I see.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So that is. I mean, he is, like, right.

[Emily Walker]

Like, it seems like his past was very Mormon to the point. That's why he lied about the swinging and all of that, because it was so embarrassing as a Mormon.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And again, like, the swinging was just them all being married, forced culturally, when they're, like, 18 and 20 or whatever, wanting to date, it's against God. And so instead, they just did some swinging so that they could kiss one other woman in their life and they could kiss one other man.

[Emily Walker]

Right. Just to have college.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Just to have college. And so, yeah, the tattoos must be new because you're not allowed.

[Emily Walker]

Right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Those would be looked down upon at least a little. And he's also dressed as Justin Bieber for the party. So we got, like, the hood up, which I think is also doing some work for him.

[Emily Walker]

That's right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Now, later in the episodes when he has some alcohol in him, you start to see those dark circles of doom come out. And I said, oh, I've seen those before. That's when it's like the darkness runs deep. Now, here's my question for you. We're gonna do a fuck, marry, kill.

[Emily Walker]

Okay.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Father, Son, Holy Ghost, it's up to you. Fuck Mary, kill, or Father, Son, Holy Ghost.

[Emily Walker]

Great.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Chase, Dakota or Brett and Brett?

[Emily Walker]

I think I'm gonna marry Brett, and I'm gonna fuck Chase, and I'm gonna kill Dakota.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Now, you said you found Dakota hot.

[Emily Walker]

But not as hot as Chase. And I don't want to marry Dakota.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Okay.

[Emily Walker]

And Brett seems like, yes. He's just like.

[Chelsea Dewances]

It's a little older. He's a little. So he's just.

[Emily Walker]

He's just a chotchki on a shelf where you can be like, just go over there.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. He likes to be a pretty. Pretty big man.

[Emily Walker]

And he Kind of like, does whatever.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, I do think he's a bucket.

[Emily Walker]

But I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think he's like, not as. Yeah, okay. Harsh.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, all right. I like that. I have the exact same.

[Emily Walker]

I figured.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Now then, Miranda comes in with her boyfriend there. Tell me if I'm missing something. But I said, as a former swinger, are you coming to a party dressed as a crusty crab, like, jizz hairstyle? Like, they're really just. They're not. Don't come dressed as crabs, Maria.

[Emily Walker]

Well, I mean, it seems like she. It was like a last minute thing. It seems like she like picked up like one of her kids costumes or something.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, all right.

[Emily Walker]

I guess because like literally all the other girls went to like a country western store to buy like full cowgirl outfits for.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, well, no, they're doing a. You're right. And they're doing mean girls at the party.

[Emily Walker]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, they're just like. And yeah, everyone was like, clearly, like putting a lot of time and effort into it. Except for Miranda and her partner.

[Chelsea Dewances]

She had a whole jumpsuit. Anyways, look, look, if you were a swinger, just don't come dress as crabs, okay? Just. Just know. So Chase makes a beeline for Dakota, this little genius again. Men, men, men. And is like, hey, just so you know, I never fucked her. I never fucked Taylor, because that's what's on the line. And again, I just want to bring up how absolutely dark this is, which is that Taylor was blackout drunk and did not consent and says they had sex and she herself will not give it a label. So I'm not giving it a label because I think she's still processing that.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And Chase is like, no, we didn't. And I. And also. Whatever. And he's like, I'm a returned missionary, blah, blah. And Taylor sees that they're talking about her and Dakota is loving it. He's like, yes, Dakota's mad at me for a line. Now I get too mad at her because she never told me that she told Chase that she had a sex dream.

[Emily Walker]

Yes. And that's what I'm saying. Like, that's what their arguments always are just about, like semantics in this and this and this. Where it's like, that's not what you guys actually care about at all.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And like, Dakota, fucking idiot. If he had stood up for Taylor, to him, I think it could have helped men their relationship. Instead, he saw a way to get one over on Taylor because she's been so mad at him. And Chase says to Taylor, that was the lowest point of my life. And Taylor said, that was the lowest point in your life. Sure. I mean, it's not. And you're like, what is it? And you can tell he is lying.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

He can't even keep a smile back. As he tries to lie, she calls him out being like, I never said that. Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Now, at this point, I want to point out that Demi is dressed as the serial. Do you know that reference?

[Emily Walker]

Right. That somebody had serial ate out their coochie or something.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. Basically, in season one, Whitney acted out that Demi would put. It's. Honestly, I really don't know what the sex act with the cereal is that. But something with Demi either eating cereal and him eating her, or she puts cereal in and he eats her.

[Emily Walker]

Or she. Or. Yeah, that they ate cereal and then they went down.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. So she's running around, dresses the cereal. And I was like, that's not even getting attention. That's how crazy this episode is.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then Chase's new girlfriend, dressed as Hailey Bieber, is really upset. She's amazing. She's like, stop pointing at her. Stop yelling at her.

[Emily Walker]

Well, he. She, like, goes up to him and he, like, fully dismisses her.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Oh, yeah.

[Emily Walker]

He's like, get away.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Get away from me. And she goes to Miranda, his ex wife, as of again two months ago.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And it's like, does he live for this? Because I didn't think he lives for this. And they all go, oh, yeah, Chase lives for the drone. And she's like, I didn't know this. And she's like, I love it, but he's a fucking dickhead.

[Emily Walker]

Miranda is now hugging her ex husband's new girlfriend.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Again, the emotional polygamy.

[Emily Walker]

But there was also a scene beforehand where. Where one of the girls were talking and they said that they were talking to Chase's girlfriend, and she tested him and said, maybe I don't. We shouldn't go to the party tonight. Or I'm not feeling well, we shouldn't go. And that Chase was like, we're going to the party no matter what.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Cause he lives for this. Well, then, Layla, her one sentence to Chase, are you happy you're getting your little moment? I said, that's Layla's personality.

[Emily Walker]

Good job, Layla.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then she says, we dated for a month. Right?

[Emily Walker]

Win.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Win. Wait. This is Miranda's ex husband.

[Emily Walker]

They move so fast.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Who caught feelings for Taylor, who clearly.

[Emily Walker]

Still still has something for Taylor. Or there's. It's like teenage boy who, like, wants Something so bad.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Something like. Like, this is, like, two shades away from adolescence. Like, in the dark Start.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

This is. This is how patriarchy ruins society is this entire show.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And I'm sorry to keep saying patriarchy like this, but they did it.

[Emily Walker]

They say 500 times, and they.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They're like, we're breaking it. It's like, you're upholding it. You're actually seal. You're sealing yourselves in. When the fuck did they date? And then she's like, go tell your podcast. And he very sincerely goes, don't make fun of my podcast. Now I'm at a healed place in my life because I did not listen to Chase's podcast.

[Emily Walker]

Absolutely. And you know what I'm gonna do after this? We're gonna go listen.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I'm gonna listen to. Which means you have to come back and do another episode. Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

Well, but also, as we're wrapping up this episode, I just want to point out, in the two episodes that we have done about this, so far, we have not talked about Whitney Levitt once.

[Chelsea Dewances]

So true.

[Emily Walker]

Because she is not the focus.

[Chelsea Dewances]

No, she. Oh, my God, you're right. And, well, she is off having a child, and I think that's episode three.

[Emily Walker]

She's super pregnant. Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Because I watched episode three, and now they're, like, bleeding together for me.

[Emily Walker]

Okay.

[Chelsea Dewances]

But she is gonna give, like, a pronatalist therapy speech where she's like, having a child heals you, and I don't have to worry about any of that stuff.

[Emily Walker]

Cool.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then she's like, and I'm glad I gave Connor, my husband, a second chance. And you're like, right, you're right. Whitney Lovett. And you know, the one thing that I always think about with Whitney is that when season one ended, she announced that she was going to LA to try her hand at.

[Emily Walker]

That's right. She came crawling back one month later, not even.

[Chelsea Dewances]

I don't even think she did it.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. No. And they're like, production starts next week. She's like, fantastic. I'll be there.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And I don't even think she knows the difference between acting and a reality show. No, it's that. It's a. It's both our pet peeves where it's like, you don't want to act or make art. You want attention.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And honestly, you're a great villain. So go back on the reaction.

[Emily Walker]

Right. Because she even said that I think she had, like, a very quick scene with Miranda. Maybe it was in the other episode where she was like, no, you should come and also, like. And then in her aside was like. And also I'm tired of being the villain. So, like, I would love for somebody else, like, basically, like, upholding Miranda to be like, go on, sweetie. You got this.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You get a girl. But Miranda's not gonna be the villain.

[Emily Walker]

No, no.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And I think Whitney, I've seen episode three. She's gonna get back in the mix. But I truly think she was just, like, really busy being pregnant and, like, couldn't really get herself into the action.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And she's technically not a part of mom talk anymore, whatever that means.

[Emily Walker]

Right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Because, listen, they're all sitting in the circles, so she's there.

[Emily Walker]

But it's just crazy to me that, like, from the season that she had before, like, where we left off.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

My mind would be like, we're picking back up with this, like, horrible villain.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You're so right.

[Emily Walker]

And she wasn't even a thought.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You are so right. Meanwhile, the police are pulling up.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They're like, we've heard a fight happen because Chase touched Demi, like, when he was, like, being rude to her, like, touched her hip or something. I don't know. I didn't know. It's not really on camera. And then she gets Brett to chase him and, like, go full out, like, my God. Husband, fight club. Chase is clearly afraid of Brett, clearly quickly apologizes to Demi, runs off into the night. And then Miranda, his ex wife, Chase's ex wife, is hugging his new girlfriend still at the party. And Taylor comes over. Now they're all hugging. I said, sister wife culture is alive.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

You're all hugging over the same man.

[Emily Walker]

Yes.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then the police are there, and Jesse is like, the fight's over, and they're asking her questions, and she says, have you ever seen the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? That's. That's the only way I can explain to you what is happening right now. And they say, no, but those cost faces are shown on camera. So at some point, a producer walked over him and said, hey, guys, want to be on Hulu? And they said, yeah, for sure.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, yeah, just sign this, fellas.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Because if they didn't want their policemen in Utah, they could have said, don't show my face. It would have been blurred.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, no, they're loving it.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They're on camera.

[Emily Walker]

They're like, again, all right. They're born and bred for this. All of them.

[Chelsea Dewances]

All of them are ready to be an influence.

[Emily Walker]

The men and the women want this.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They want it bad.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, right.

[Emily Walker]

And that's what's Beautiful about this show. That's what's different than Housewives or anything else is that they want it. We do see both sides, and we. We get to see just Trash Men. Just.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And there's a lot of true darkness. Sometimes in Housewives, there's darkness, sometimes it's fabricated. This is like they're fighting the most modern religion in America.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

They're going up against a lot. And last season, they were winning. I think this season they're losing. And finally Jesse's like, okay, the cops left. Do you think it'd be weird to do the Chippendales dance still? She's like, nah, let's do it. Come on. My husband. My husband should give Jen a lap dance as Zach watches. I just. How do. I gotta tell you this? Having grown up in Mormon culture for some time, for me personally.

[Emily Walker]

Right.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Nothing was more Mormon than learning a choreographed dance to humiliate your best friend. The amount of choreographed dances we learned as kids. Oh, I love the choreographed dance. And they do a choreographed dance to humiliate Jen, and that's how the episode ends.

[Emily Walker]

Jeez. Wow. Are you.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And then we have a whole season after this. Any final thoughts on this series? Any wishes for the wives?

[Emily Walker]

Wow.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Any wishes for the season?

[Emily Walker]

Do you have a wife wish? My wish for the girls this season is, you know, I think we gotta get back to the core of the group. I think we're meddling too much in each other's relationships. And I think you're. When you're the outsider going into a toxic relationship, you're always going to be the loser, even if you're saying the right thing.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

You're just not going to be the one who's chosen. They're going to choose the toxic partner.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Until they're ready to stop.

[Emily Walker]

Correct. So I think, while I enjoy the drama and I think, like, the marital little drama, I would love to get back to the girls kind of fighting. I feel like that's where we need a slumber party. We. Yeah, we need, like, a trip. We need, like, get them all in a airbnb in Nashville or something. Like, let's. Let's get some tension.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And again, the budget is small. We've only seen people's houses and a yard.

[Emily Walker]

Correct.

[Chelsea Dewances]

But let's hope for Nashville. I think we can dream.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. Or it doesn't have to be Reno something.

[Chelsea Dewances]

We'll take a Reno.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah. That's my wish. My girls.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Emily, thank you for coming on. Tell people what you want them to follow. Be it your Instagram, a TV show you want them to watch, podcasts. Whatever you feeling, you know, you can.

[Emily Walker]

Follow me on Instagram like joy132. I post some stuff, but not really. And I'm a voyeur. I'm a TikTok voyeur as well. I don't really post on there. I'm loving. We were just talking about Sister Wives again, another Mormon show, and the Valley on Bravo. If you love Mormon wives and you haven't dipped your toe into the Valley. Same kind of dark, toxic couple energy, same kind of vibe.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And that's. Jax is on that. Right?

[Emily Walker]

Jax is on that. He's currently in a rehab facility on the show, so. Okay.

[Chelsea Dewances]

And Emily and I did see Jax at his bar. At his bar, desperate to be noticed.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Walking around holding takeout from his bar. He made a few laps.

[Emily Walker]

Yeah, yeah. He. Yeah, he had great eyes. And again, very attractive in person. I get it.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Fully.

[Emily Walker]

Just like giving me.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah, absolutely no. Absolutely no from old shelves over here.

[Emily Walker]

Well, I'm sure if you saw him in a nightclub.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah.

[Emily Walker]

You would say no.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Yeah. Thank you all for joining us and bye. Bye. A huge thank you to our podcast producer, Christina Lopez, our executive producer, Jordan Moncada, our sound engineer, Marcus Hamm, and our amazing associate producer, Jaron Padre. I also want to let you know that if you love audiobooks, but you want to support independent bookstores, go to Libro fm, where it is easy to download audiobooks and support local bookshops. And right now you get two Libro FM audiobooks for the price of one with your first month of membership using code Trash. That's right, Trash. T R A S H. Two audiobooks for the price of one at Libro fm. And if you have questions, go to the Patreon Chat Lounge and I will see you there. This episode is brought to you by Disney's Lilo and Stitch, only in theaters this Friday. A reimagining of Disney's animated classic Lilo.

[Emily Walker]

And Stitch is the wildly funny and touching story of a lonely Hawaiian girl.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Lilo, and the fugitive alien Stitch, who.

[Emily Walker]

Helps to mend her broken family.

[Chelsea Dewances]

Lil Flow and Stitch crashes into theaters this Friday.

[Emily Walker]

Rated pg. Get tickets now.