The List: Self-Devotion, Teachers Are Wearing WHAT, Getting Influenced, And True Friends

Summary

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Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast

Special Episode: "The List: Self-Devotion, Teachers Are Wearing WHAT, Getting Influenced, And True Friends"

Date: September 19, 2025
Guest Podcast: The List
Host (Intro): Chelsea Devantez

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Episode Overview

In this special crossover episode, Chelsea Devantez drops an episode from "The List" into the Glamorous Trash feed—a lively, multi-generational roundtable where four friends tackle four pop culture topics (with rules!). The conversation circles around self-acceptance, social expectations, teacher fashion trends, parasocial influencer relationships, and the enduring power of true friendship—all filtered through the lens of books (notably Mel Robbins' "Let Them Theory") and personal stories.

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Meet The Hosts / Panelists

• Papi Rosa: Drag artist, writer, actor, Gen Z representative. Fresh from community work in Florida.
• Maria Randazzo: Writer, actor, comedian, "solid millennial," celebrated for her wit and introspection.
• Quincy Zari: Brooklyn-based model/creative, millennial (with a "lowercase m") and TikTok-lover.
• Takari Leese: Writer, actor, comedian, mom, and grounded podcast presence.
• Gio (Giovanni Maria Garzon de La Villas): Social media editor, honorary panelist.

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Major Discussion Points & Highlights

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1. Let Them Theory: Self-Devotion, Control, and Letting Go (06:01–19:52)

Summary

Papi Rosa shares the impact of Mel Robbins' "Let Them Theory"—an approach that encourages radical acceptance and letting go of control over others' actions and opinions. The panel dives into personal experiences with self-esteem, anxiety, and the desire for external validation, ultimately celebrating the liberating power of self-devotion and grace.

Notable Quotes

• Papi Rosa [09:41]:
  “I don’t want to spend any more time being consumed with trying to convince people otherwise when they are autonomous individuals... I would say this book kind of changed my summer, kind of changed my life a little bit.”

• Quincy Zari [12:31]:
  “Spoiler alert: I take things personally a lot that I shouldn’t… I really get in my feelings about, like, not getting a text back... I really got in my head about that.”

• Maria Randazzo [16:18]:
  “Your relationship with yourself is, like, maybe the most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life… I have also been working on loving myself more.”

• Takari Leese [17:52]:
  “You should change discipline to devotion... self-love and self-care should all be filtered through the lens of devotion to self.”

Insights

• "Let Them" is about relinquishing the need to change or control others; it's a form of radical acceptance (CBT, Buddhism, Christianity all have parallels—“let go, let God”).
• The complementary idea of "Let Me" grants oneself the grace to move on from rejection or anxiety, replacing self-criticism with self-compassion.

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2. Teacher Fashion & The Changing Norms in Schools (20:59–33:19)

Summary

A heated discussion on viral debates about teachers' and students’ attire—Are teachers dressing for the classroom or for TikTok? Has school become too casual or even inappropriately styled? The hosts reflect on generational changes, social media's influence, and the blurred lines between personal, professional, and performative identities.

Notable Quotes

• Quincy Zari [21:07]:
  “Have y’all seen the drama about what people are wearing to school? Teachers… in very form-fitting clothes. Bodycon. Lace-up heels. It’s wild.”

• Papi Rosa [23:59]:
  “If you’re not dressed like Ms. Frizzle, red flag.”

• Maria Randazzo [30:58]:
  “Everybody wants to be hot right now, 24/7, all the time… It’s too much.”

• Takari Leese [26:55]:
  “They’re not dressing for their students or for their jobs. They’re dressing for the Internet... Teacher influencers, TeacherTok… It’s survival of the fittest at this point, so I kind of don’t blame them.”

Insights

• Generational expectations for “professionalism” differ; young teachers may dress according to current fashion trends, sometimes prioritizing social media appeal over tradition.
• Social media ("teacher influencers") encourages performative style, blurring lines between private, public, and professional personas.
• There's nostalgia (and humor) about more "timeless" educator aesthetics (Ms. Frizzle, baggy sweaters), and concern about lost opportunity for "highs and lows"—making the "glow up" special.

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3. Parasocial Influence: Getting Influenced (and Hooked) by Fitness Gurus (34:47–45:07)

Summary

Maria candidly describes her evolving (and mildly embarrassing) “parasocial relationship” with fitness influencer Riley Katherine, reflecting on how even the most skeptical among us can be drawn into influencer worlds. The hosts discuss boundaries between fandom, peer acknowledgment, and the thin veil between creator and admirer.

Notable Quotes

• Maria Randazzo [36:40]:
  “Her name’s Riley Katherine… She’s my parasocial best friend. Now she has an app… I pay for the app. The workouts are great, y’all. I cannot lie.”

• Papi Rosa [41:18]:
  “A part of me was like, it feels weird to be a Stan, I guess, because you’re a celebrity… The veil is very thin between where you are now and success.”

• Takari Leese [41:23]:
  “When you yourself are creative… it’s very hard to act like you are a ‘normal person’… You see yourself there.”

Insights

• Parasocial relationships can sneak up even on media-savvy, self-aware adults.
• Creators might feel odd crossing the fan/peer line with celebrities or influencers, especially if they see themselves as future colleagues.
• The group affirms that appreciation need not be obsessive—being a “fan” can just mean appreciating someone’s work.

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4. True Friendship: The Importance and Rarity of Deep Connections (46:20–53:52)

Summary

Takari Leese gives a heartfelt shout-out to “friends you can go months, sometimes years without seeing and pick up right where you left off.” The group explores the layers and evolving definitions of friendship, the difference between casual pals and those you call at your lowest, and the joys of family as friends.

Notable Quotes

• Takari Leese [46:20]:
  “It’s soul healing and affirming to have someone not be in your presence but know you so well you can just pick right up.”

• Papi Rosa [48:07]:
  “I think we use the word friend a little loosely… The purpose of life is to do it with people and to do it in community and together.”

• Quincy Zari [49:26]:
  “It’s nice to have somebody that I can reconnect with who’s seen me at different stages in life… I’ve been realizing I’m one of those people that’s really close to my family… And honestly is a big reason sometimes I be like, dang, I’m just living at home.”

• Maria Randazzo [51:36]:
  “I hate small talk. It’s like, painful to me… I love it when I meet a stranger at a party and it’s like, What’s your relationship with your mother?”

Insights

• Deep friendships survive time and distance; the joy is found in unconditional love and the ability to “keep dumping” emotional baggage without shame.
• True community is rare and valuable—family can sometimes serve as this anchor.
• There's a subtle lament that “friend” can mean too many things, but also an appreciation for the spectrum of affection and expectation.

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Memorable Moments

• Papi Rosa’s comedic take on Florida:
  “I was in Florida for four months... Not a single girl I met this summer could get down like you guys.” [05:23]
• “If you’re not dressed like Ms. Frizzle, red flag.” [23:59]
• “Everybody wants to be hot 24/7…” [30:58]
• Maria’s confession of near-influencer-commenting:
  “I wrote ‘congratulations on the app.’ And then I was like, oh my god, Maria. She’s not gonna see this message. Delete, delete, delete.” [38:15]
• Takari’s wisdom on letting silence be:
  “Ain’t this weird?… I let it be uncomfortable and I look at the silence, I’m like, y’all can squirm.” [52:56]

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Thematic Threads

• Self-Devotion: From “let them” to devotion to self, the episode celebrates the power and necessity of self-love and radical acceptance.
• Generational Friction & Social Media Influence: Age differences, TikTok, and shifting workplace norms collide in the teacher fashion debate.
• Relationships (Real & Imagined): Whether it's with influencers or best friends from college, the line between intimacy and performance is explored, often with wit and warmth.
• Community & True Friendship: The show closes with a rousing affirmation: connection is the point—even if we see each other only once in a blue moon.

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Key Timestamps

• Let Them Theory / Mel Robbins: 06:01–19:52
• Teachers’ and Students’ Dress Code Debate: 20:59–33:19
• Being Influenced / Parasocial Relationships: 34:47–45:07
• The Beauty of Old Friends / Community: 46:20–53:52

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Closing Thoughts

The List crew delivers a charming, candid “group chat come to life.” Listeners are treated to bookish insights, internet trends, real-life confessions, and hearty, relatable commentary—all punctuated by the warmth and camaraderie of lifelong friends who model both the “letting go” and “letting in” that make community possible.

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Listen to The List wherever you get your podcasts—and don’t forget to check out their “really cute” website (designed by Papi)!

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Transcript

[A]

If you thought goldenly breaded McDonald's chicken couldn't get more golden, think Golder because new sweet and smoky special edition gold sauce is here made for your chicken favorites at participate in McDonald's for a limited time.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future today with a risk free [e-mail] Spotify greenlight.com Spotify hi, it's.

[C]

Me, your host, Chelsea Devontes. Listen, as you probably know by now, I am away from the podcast for a few weeks. I am on set directing my first feature film which I also wrote. Maybe you've heard me talk about this throughout the years. Anyways, I'm updating people on Patreon if you wanna know about it, but we are dropping an episode from a podcast that I love right into our feed. It is called the List. You will recognize the hosts of the list from guests on this podcast who just brought you great episodes and I hope you enjoy it. I love this podcast so I think you will love it. And as always, let us know what you think in the comments.

[D]

Babe, you're listening to the List, a podcast that asks the question what if a yap session had rules? Four friends, four topics.

[B]

It's the View.

[C]

Yassified.

[D]

We listen and we don't judge a lot. Let's get into it.

[B]

Did you get the gist? Put it on the list. What are you wearing? Put it on the list. Put it on the list.

[C]

Love thy hater.

[B]

Put it on the list. I love the list.

[C]

I love the list.

[B]

I love the list. I love the list.

[C]

Live and let List.

[A]

Drumroll please. Welcome to the List Listies. You can't see it, but my tits are jiggling. Welcome back to the List. My name is Papi Rosa. I am a drag artist, writer, actor, previous manager of the Super Walmart in Kissimmee, Florida and representing the Gen Z. I am proud to be back in the studio with my favorite multi generational women in all of the land.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Good Crazy star. What a girls. Oh, that was going good. Why don't we go around and introduce ourselves?

[C]

Hi, I'm Maria Randazzo. I'm a writer, actress, comedian, and I am the eldest of the squad. As we are a multi generational podcast. I said we should say we're a multi generational podcast before we start.

[A]

Hashtag, support our elders.

[C]

I'm a millennial. Yeah. I don't. I'm not an elder millennial, but I'm a millennial.

[A]

I'll say that she's a cuspy cusp. Gen Z.

[C]

No, I'm not cusp, but thank you for thinking that. I would say I'm like, solid millennial. I'll tell people I don't care. I'm 38 years old. Chew on that.

[B]

My name's Quincy Zari. I live in Brooklyn. I'm a model. I'm a creative person in the city, and I. I've got a dog.

[A]

Ruff, ruff.

[B]

Yeah. Get out of here, Charlotte.

[A]

That was her in studio. Ruff, ruff.

[B]

And I'm a millennial, I guess, with a lowercase M.93. Stand up. Some people say I might be a zillennial, but I think that. I think I'm a millennial with a.

[A]

Lowercase M. You speak Gen Z though.

[B]

I do speak Gen Z.

[A]

You're bilingual.

[B]

I am bilingual. I have a Gen Z niece. A couple of them. Shout out to them. And I'm on TikTok a lot as I reference all the time.

[A]

My baby's brain is rotten.

[D]

We'll fix that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And post what it do.

[C]

Good people.

[D]

I'm Takari Leese. I am a writer, an actor, comedian, a mom.

[B]

She tired. I'm a millennial, I guess.

[D]

What is my age? I'll never tell. I'm just kidding. I'm 36.

[B]

Whatever.

[D]

We're all gonna die, so it's fine. And, you know, I'm chilling. It's, you know, we're grateful.

[B]

We're happy to have Poppy back in the studio.

[D]

And. Yeah, power up, power up.

[A]

We have a friend of the POD in town. Everyone say, hi, Gio.

[C]

Hi, Gio.

[A]

Giovanni Maria Garzon de La Villas. Jesus is our social media editor. He's a proud Colombian American. A little fat ass on his little body and a proud Meg the Stallion Stan. Is that right, Gio? Mike, amplify that sound in post. I'm excited to be back. The room feels chaotic, and I think I was really missing that. I was missing, like, having a key with my girls. Yeah. And just for a little context, I was in Florida for four months doing community work, serving the world. Not a single girl I met this summer could get down like you Guys, whoa.

[C]

Not a feeling.

[A]

Yeah. Not a single girl. Not a single she, her, hers. Not a single they, them. I'll tell you that. Not in Florida. And I was like, I'm really missing the pod. Yeah.

[C]

We missed you so much.

[A]

Thank you. The only person that I think had potential was the cashier at Publix.

[C]

Oh, we're shopping is a pleasure.

[A]

Shopping. And she was a pleasure. She was 19. Gen Z, like Quincy, a delight. A delight. Every time I would come in, she'd be like, hey, girl. And I'm like, I don't think I give you permission to be that familiar with me, but she was the highlight of my summer. Yeah. But all that to say, I really missed you guys or girls.

[B]

We missed you.

[A]

Yeah, we missed you so much. So I guess let's get started. So this summer I've been reading this book called the Let Them Theory.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

I think I spoke to you guys briefly about it and I think I did with Takara too. And it's by this author called Mel Robbins. And basically she starts the book with, she went bankrupt. She had many odd jobs. She was a lawyer. Then she became, I think like the owner of one of those like pottery and wine businesses that didn't go well. And then she became, I think maybe like a consultant. And then finally a motivational speaker sort of by accident because one of her friends was like, hey, I'm hosting this seminar for people who are transitioning jobs and we want people who have transitioned jobs to give like advice. She's like, and I know you've done that a lot. Why don't you come and talk on the panel? And so she did. And on the panel she basically spoke about all the different jobs she had, all the careers she had. And in the book she says that there was one moment where she had to kind of wrap it up and she didn't know what to say. And so she talked about the five second rule, which is something that she's used in her life, where she counts to five and then just does whatever it is that she needs to do. Whatever it is that makes her uncomfortable, whatever priorities on her list, whatever it is that she's kind of like procrastinating on. She just goes, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and then fuck it and does it. So that's how she ended that speech. It ended up going viral all over the world. And that became one of the very first, like TED Talks per se. And so people were then inviting her to do that same speech or panel at different events. And then she Started making money from that. And so she made her first book, the Five Second Rule, which then leads to the Let Them Theory, the book that I'm reading now. So super c. Super awesome. She's dope. The Let Them theory. And I kind of want your thoughts on this, and I want to see if you guys ever put this into practice. Maybe not by this name, but the Let Them theory is basically this idea that you have no control over people. And we spend a lot of our time stressing about people's opinions of us. We want people to do the things that we want them to do. We want people to have certain expectations of us. And she gives this example where some of her friends went on a girls trip without her, and she felt this, like, pit in her stomach, and she was like, why didn't they invite me? Why didn't they tell me to go on the trip? Like, I feel awful. Was it something that I did? And then that's when she was like, you know what? I'm just gonna let them. They are allowed to go on that trip. They are allowed to be autonomous individuals. And then she started sort of rationalizing it, and she was like, if they wanted me to go on that trip, and if we were closer, I would have gone in on that trip or I would have gone on that trip. But the truth is, I don't really talk to these ladies anymore. If anything, I took it personally because I wanted some sort of validation and some sort of invite to feel better about myself. But in reality, I can't control what they think of me. I can't control their decisions. And so I just let them do it. And at first when I heard that, I was like, damn. Well, if my friends went somewhere without me, I'd be bummed out. But then she proceeds to say every time that you don't get a text back from somebody, every time maybe someone doesn't respond to you on, like, a dating app. Or maybe every time she has kids, she's like, your child, for example, goes to prom and doesn't book a dinner reservation with their friends. And you start stressing about, my kid isn't going to have a dinner reservation for prom. She said, you know what? I'm going to let people do them. Let them do them. And she wrote this book, and it's been doing really, really well. She now has a podcast. She was on Oprah. Love Oprah. But I really find it fascinating because I don't think until I started reading that book, I noticed how much I do try to sway people into doing things that I want them to do or thinking about me in the way that I want them to think of me and how much time it actually takes up in my day, especially in comedy, wanting people to find me funny, wanting people to think I'm successful, wanting people to book me. And then at the end of the day, it's like, you know what? I'm just gonna let them make their own decisions. But I don't want to spend any more time being consumed with trying to convince people otherwise when they are autonomous individuals that can make their decisions at the end of the day. And so I would say this book kind of changed my summer, kind of changed my life a little bit. It's kind of like the artist's way. You know, everyone's like, read the artist's way. Don't she read it now she's famous. I would say read the let them theory.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It is. It is clutch.

[B]

And I remember you sharing that. Like, was that an episode on the Oprah Winfrey. Oprah Winfrey podcast that you shared?

[C]

Right.

[B]

Yeah, I listened to that because that was specifically the reference when she was talking about her kids prom group. Yeah, she was really stressed.

[A]

Yeah, she was stressed out.

[D]

And it was her daughter who was like, you got to relax, mom. Like, let them, let them, let them ruin their outfits. It was raining at one point.

[B]

And they're happy.

[A]

And they're happy. Yeah, that daughter be kidding.

[D]

This is not your happiness.

[A]

Yeah. And you know what's funny? When she spoke about that moment and when her daughter said, let them, by the way, her daughter better be getting some coin from my wife.

[C]

I hope so too.

[A]

She. She explained. She was like, you know, I'm so obsessed with having control over people. And then I realize it's because I have a fear of not being in control. Because when you're not in control, then you become more anxious. And so really I've been just trying to not be anxious all my life by controlling people. And I was like, that's an. That's an interesting way to think about it. But I'm curious if you guys find yourselves obsessed with trying to control people from your day to day lives or if there's been an instance where you've let something go.

[B]

I talked to my therapist about this recently, actually.

[C]

Good for you.

[B]

Spoiler, spoiler alert. I take things personally a lot that I shouldn't take personally. You know what I mean? And I really get in my feelings about, like, small example. I texted someone. Okay, I don't know if this is kind of embarrassing, but whatever. I texted someone close. We hadn't hung out in a while. I was like, hang out with me. But I texted them close to their birthday and I knew they were out of town, whatever. They don't text me back.

[A]

And I was like, damn, was it a birthday text?

[B]

Like, hey, yeah. And I was like, dang, are they mad at me? Mind you, there's nothing that has happened to where they'd be mad. I've seen them recently. And then I saw them again and they didn't, like, say hi immediately. And I'm like, are they mad at me? Because, like, I see them and they didn't say hi to me. And so then, like, they have to be mad. And like, you know, now I'm, like, thinking about all these ways that when did I say something? So then I go out of my way. I'm like, hey, how's it going? And then they download me on all the things that they've been going doing, and they're actually moving close to me, and they had a great birthday and like, let's catch up soon. And da, da, da, da. And I was like, oh, whoa. I. I really got in my head about that. And I took, like, just not getting a text back as, oh, this person hates me now. Mind you, when I be doing that to people all the time, like, I have so many unread messages. I'll, like, scroll through my phone and then I'll be like, five to be precise. I'll scroll through my phone and be like, oh, shit, I forgot to respond. But then feeling like I'm like, you know, because, okay, well, I'm getting responses from these people, and then they're waiting on my response, and then I haven't. I don't have control on that because they didn't respond to me. And then now I'm taking it personally, like, they don't like me. When in reality, you just kind of. I feel like that's. It's not even let them in the whole. I guess. I don't know. I guess maybe it's also let me let go.

[A]

That's the second part of the theory. It's let them and let me. Yeah, you chowed that down.

[B]

Shout out to my therapist. But, yeah. So anyways, I just. I'm trying to continually working on just, like, I can't control that if people are busy and they'll reach out when they want to see me.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I think I do the same thing. I think I tend to always jump to the worst. Like, if Someone doesn't respond to a message or a voice note or maybe a request to hang out. I think what I've realized is it's because of a lack of self love that I jump to the worst things about me.

[B]

Me.

[A]

I go, I'm annoying, they don't like me, I'm hard to be around. And I think I realize like, if you work on your self esteem, your automatic assumption won't be these like harsh things about yourself or at least in my case.

[B]

I totally agree.

[A]

And so I think the let them theory has kind of helped me clock those moments where I start filling in the gaps with somebody else, with someone else's voice that I don't have access to.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

You know, I mean, yeah, so it's been kind of liberating in that sense.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

And then in the sense of like, like I just also just said people are reaching out to me and those are the people that do want to see me right now. So like giving the love to where people that, you know, it's kind of like in those instances where I don't know if you've ever been to a party or wherever and people are upset that so and so didn't show up and it's like, but all these niggas are here to see you right now. Be excited for these niggas in the room.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's kind of like that's the.

[A]

Title of this episode.

[B]

I think. Just like, yeah, just being happy with everything right now. And yeah, that's all.

[C]

What is the let me part, if you don't mind explaining that for a sec.

[A]

So let me is essentially allowing yourself to let things go. Like I'm gonna let me move on from this scenario instead of ruminating on it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[A]

I'm gonna. Let me realize that. No, I'm awesome. Yeah, I can be by myself. I don't need a response. So I'm gonna. Let me do my thing. In the same way that I'm giving this person this grace, I'm giving myself grace.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think it's like a two part theory for not giving a fuck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which should be the second title, that book.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Not giving a fuck.

[C]

Honestly, that is. I have never read Mel Robbins. Her podcast clips used to come up quite often in my feed, so I'm aware of some of her messaging. But yeah, that does feel like what it boils down to is just like stop giving a fuck. But yeah, I love what you said about the self love. Like it really comes back to that. It really does. Like, your relationship with yourself is, like, maybe the most important relationship you'll ever have in your life, because it is where all of that comes. Right. And so I have also been working on loving myself more and, like, really making sure that I'm doing it. And this might sound corny, but whatever. Like, every morning I tell myself I love myself, flaws and all. Thank you, Beyonce. And I'm just like. And I'm like, even if. Like, even if I don't. Maybe don't mean it in the moment or whatever. And, like, it is. And I do really think it's like. I think it can be transformational. Like, I really do. And what. Yeah, what you said. I thought that was so powerful, and I'm so happy for you. That's. It sounds so limited. Liberating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, therapists always say to do self affirmations, and I'm always like, oh, it's. I don't even believe them. But then when you start doing them, you're like, oh, it works. Just like exercising, even if you don't believe it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's the worst.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Two. Two quick things.

[D]

I saw someone recently say that the language around discipline and self discipline can be really daunting for some people. And if it is, you should change discipline to devotion.

[C]

Oh, I love that.

[D]

And in terms of self love and self care, it should all be filtered through the lens of devotion to self, because the most important relationship you do have is with yourself, and you have to take care of yourself through all iterations of feeling and ability. And I think the let them theory is interesting in that way, because in my mind, while it's packaged in this really interesting way that is for the 21st century, it's blunt and accessible that the let them theory has existed for a very long time in different iterations. In Christianity, it's giving people grace. And Buddhism, it's the four noble Truths. Talking about how desire is the root of all suffering. You cannot desire for someone to change. You cannot desire for someone to be your best friend. You cannot desire for someone to respond in the way you want them to respond. You have to accept that what is, is, and let go. Right?

[B]

Let go.

[D]

Let God. There's another version of that as well. And so while I haven't read the book, I have listened to the podcast because I wanted to know, make sure I knew what Poppy was on. But I do think it's. It's interesting how the language now is. Is more accessible for people and. And how people are responding to it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It.

[A]

Yeah. And just to wrap up this topic, let them isn't like if someone spits on you in the train, it's not like, oh my God, let them. The idea is you can be frustrated, you can be mad, you can take action, you know, so that someone faces consequences, but you're letting go of the idea that you can change what happens. Yeah, it's like radical acceptance, another form in which let them appears. Like in CBT therapy, it's radically accepting what you. What is out of your control. So a lot of people think it's like, let them. I'm just going to let them abuse me. No, it's not letting anyone do anything to you, but it is accepting that you can't control things around you, but you can't control yourself. Let me. Thanks, but I wanted to get that off my chest of my. With my girls and my. My little therapy group.

[C]

That was beautiful.

[B]

It was.

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

So have y' all seen the drama? The drama about what people are wearing to school? So like teachers, high school teachers, I.

[C]

Gotta hear about this.

[B]

Are wearing like very form fitting clothes. Bodycon Teachers. Teachers.

[A]

The lace heels. The lace up heels for like a club.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And then even somebody else chimed in and she was like, well, this is what a office lady wears that's appropriate for school. And it was like also form fitting and a corset top with like j like pleather leggings and like Healy heels.

[C]

This is teaching high school students at a high.

[B]

This is a. This is an office lady but yeah.

[C]

And then if you're teaching high school students, you better be wearing exclusively Ann Taylor Loft. Like a size up.

[B]

And then the students, now the kids. Okay, so I. Controversial. So like when we were back in school, three fingers on the shoulder, four fingers on the chest.

[C]

What?

[B]

Like. Cause you couldn't show cleavage, so you had to do.

[A]

Got it, got it, got it.

[B]

And then like three fingers on the shoulders. So your straps had to be large enough.

[C]

Oh, I'd get kicked out today.

[B]

Yeah. No spaghetti.

[C]

Listen to this. Listies.

[B]

And then when you were bloody strap your thought, your dress, your skirts had to be.

[A]

This is for what? Setting. Sorry? This is for school when you were in school as a student.

[B]

As a student. And which I also felt some type of way about as a young person because I have long fingers. So like I had to wear some long.

[C]

You're like bending at the knuckles.

[B]

Laying my shoulders up.

[A]

Is this length. All right.

[B]

And so kids today, they can wear crop tops, they can wear spaghetti straps, they can have cleave out. And they wear bike like not biker shorts because those go down to the thigh. They wear like runner shorts. So like sprinters, you know, for the field. Like short spandex shorts.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so yeah, I. But obviously, like back when I was younger, I'd be like, no, you know, women should be like, wear what they want. Yeah, wear whatever you want. And they should be teaching boys to focus. But also now as an adult, I do see school as it's a pre professional setting, you know, so it's like I always like the hidden curriculum there.

[C]

That's the best way to put it.

[B]

Yeah. The hidden curriculum is like you're being prepared for the world and at work, like, even in a casual, like casual jobs, like, I don't have to wear a suit, I don't have to wear business casual.

[A]

But you can't be in spanda.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I can't have like, I don't wear crop tops, you know, so. Yeah. What. What should kids be wearing at school? What should teachers be wearing at school? And even not even out. Like out even in elementary. And I usually see when it's elementary school teachers, they're typically wearing like colorful, bigger skirts. Like, I feel like they are truly like. Like I want to be like Ms. Frizzle Vibes.

[A]

I was just about to say, if you're not dressed like Miss Frizzle, red flag.

[C]

I think. Okay. I mean, you're really blowing my mind about teachers dressing like they're going to the club. That is like so disturbing to Me on every level. I think high school teachers, they don't make enough money and they're doing like 10 million jobs. High school teachers should wear like expensive athleisure. They should be given a stipend where it's like you get to wear like absolutely sickening looking athleisure so you could be comfortable all day long. But like sweatshea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Well I, I've seen all the, I've seen all the response videos where it's like pov, you're a teacher that does know how to dress well. And it's like teachers in like cute outfits that are like baggy or like their form fitting in an appropriate way because it fits their body but it's not like over revealing or they have just like stylish like what's it called? Bell bottom jeans. And I never thought this would be a conversation, but then I remember that there are a lot of young teachers in the world. And when I think of a teacher, I do think of like, I don't even think of men. I think of like an older woman that just dresses really comfortably and cute. And so when I first saw this conversation, I was like, dang. I was like, we really like, yeah, there are 23 year old teachers in the world. And that kind of, that caught me off guard.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But then I, then I was like, oh, maybe this is an important conversation to sort of police and talk about. Because at 23, the shit I was wearing, you should not have put me in any professional setting.

[B]

That's the thing. My English teacher, this is just one teacher specifically. And this is also a male. He was 24 when I think about it. So it's like teachers have been young, especially if it's their first year, like they're out of college.

[A]

I never had a young teacher, I will say, ever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I've had young teachers. So it's like. But I also think professionalism rules have changed or not even rules have changed. It's like, it's like those stories of you'll see like girls being sent home because they do work in a corporate office or a call center and you know, they're overly inspired by office siren trends and like you can't your office job, babe. So it's just like kids just don't know. Like, I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, I think teachers should dress like they're like a wise wizard. And Gio and I went to high school together. We didn't have any young teachers. They were all pretty in their 40s or maybe older. We had. I mean, we had archaic teachers. They would talk and dust would come out of their mouths. That is the teacher I want for my kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want Amanda that just left Adpai teaching my kid anything. No shade. I just took a jab at these poor girls that do this for a career.

[B]

But what do you think, T?

[D]

I mean, it's the damn phones. I think in terms of, you know, young people being teachers and showing up and doing fit checks at school.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

They're not dressing for their students or for their jobs or dressing for the Internet because they do see people blowing up and getting followers and becoming influencers based on their outfit choices while teaching.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Well, teaching, like teacher teach. Influencers.

[D]

Teacher influencers. Teacher talk and doing fit checks in the classroom and things like that. Yeah. So I just feel like, you know, this is why mentorship is really important, and you have to have people teach you those hard skills and those soft skills. And those soft skills include fashion and styling and how to dress in a professional environment. And I kind of don't blame them. I think, you know, teacher salary is bad, abysmal. And if you can get, you know, extra money by becoming an influencer on TikTok or, you know, getting a couple packages from Shein, you know, it's survival of the fittest at this point. So I kind of. I kind of don't blame them.

[C]

And is this, like, just. I don't know about this trend or what's blowing up on TikTok right now about this, but, like, is this, like, teachers looking sexy? Is that the problem? Yeah, I think it's men and women.

[B]

I've never seen guys.

[A]

It was like. It was a particular woman under fire.

[C]

Oh, just one person, though.

[A]

One person under fire. And then I think under the teacher talk, you would see other women also being like, oh, wait, I wear that too. Or others being like, oh, I don't wear that. Like the heels with the little. The little heel and then all the way, like, strapped up.

[C]

Yeah. What you're, like, voguing in. Yeah, yeah. That's a choice. That is simply not for school. Like, what is going on? I mean, it probably is the phones, like Dakara said. And, like. Yeah, yeah, that makes me want to puke. But, like, what's going on with the. Doesn't that the school should have dress code for teachers and students?

[B]

I think they're just more lax now because, I mean, if the kids are wearing running shorts, sure, I guess I'm.

[C]

Just like, kids are always going to push boundaries. Like, that's always going to be a thing and there should all. Yeah, yeah. But like, the adults, it's your job to model. Like, like, I love what you said, like, pre. Professional environment. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. And that makes me realize. Kind of feeling sick, actually about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I went to Catholic school. So you wear uniforms? We wore uniforms, but, like, you know, we were rolling the skirts and trying to get them as short as possible, blah, blah, blah. And they made us wear tights year round as if that would solve the short skirt. Yeah, we had to wear tights every.

[A]

Single day, even in the summer.

[C]

Summer, Jesus. I know. Or like August. Whatever. Yeah.

[B]

Sheer tights. Or they had to be like, opaque. Yeah, okay.

[C]

Horrible.

[A]

Black.

[C]

You could wear black, white, green. Because our colors were green, black, white, green, or gray.

[B]

Did you layer with socks?

[C]

I know I was like, looking like Peter Pan walking around those halls.

[B]

Could you layer with, like, socks?

[C]

Or like, you could, but that was. We didn't have that, like, style option back then. But that would have been cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. None of my teachers. Well, okay, I will say, like, none of the teachers dress sexy, but there would always be the one teacher who would wear like kind of a tight sweater and you'd be like, like, okay, we're pushing it a little bit today.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

[C]

It's got to be hard though, honestly, to like. Like, if you're just a woman and you like. Yes, yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I hate it. Like, it always comes back to women. I hate that. I don't want to point my finger at a woman and be like, well, it's on you to find a baggy shirt. But it's like, if you're a woman and you have breasts and you're wearing a sweater, like, guess what? Like, it's gonna be. Yeah, exactly. Like, you just can't.

[A]

Yeah. But I think it's also the intention because if I see a woman wearing a long sleeve sweater at work, I'm like, okay, she's trying to cover up, but if she's wearing a vest with nothing underneath it and she's calling that, like, professional attire, it's like, okay, well, it's just a vest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like a tux Bax.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I don't think that's. That's appropriate.

[B]

Yeah, that's awful.

[C]

I think that this is getting at something that, that I've been noticing. And it's just like everybody wants to be hot right now 247 all the time.

[A]

That's a good take.

[C]

And I'm kind of like too much, too much, too much. Everybody wants to be hot all of the time, 24 7. And it's actually annoying. And guess what? It's not that hot on you. I hate that.

[A]

It's not that hot.

[C]

You're not looking hot.

[A]

I think some of the people that I think are the most attractive or when they go out in a little.

[B]

Sweatpant sweater, sweatpants, chillin with no makeup on.

[A]

No makeup on you.

[B]

The prettiest.

[A]

I'm like, you are the one. You sound like a fuckboy saying that. That's when you're really the prettiest.

[B]

Drake lyric.

[A]

Yeah, well, true fits. Yeah. I love someone that doesn't try and owns it. Gets on the subway, doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, I'll take you back to my place.

[B]

Also, what's kind of freeing, I actually just. I think I. I've mentioned this 500 times, but I recently visited Kent, Washington and where. Kent, Washington. So like home. But I just. That's what's nice about when you're not in New York. Not everyone's trying to be hot.

[A]

Say that.

[B]

Not everyone's trying to be hot. Went to Target. Someone had their curlers in, you know, and like, everyone's in sweatpants. Yeah, everyone. I miss that.

[A]

I miss that too. In Florida, people are in their boots still with the mud from the swamp they were just in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I love, love, love that.

[C]

But I think it's also like making the glow up special. Like if you look hot 24 7, then when we go to an event or we have a special occasion, I'm not excited about how you look. You don't have to put the lashes on every day.

[B]

Ooh, ooh, ooh. Highs and lows. That's important because that's also like, okay. Because everyone knows I'm a summertime girl. I love the summer. I love it, I love it. But if it was summer all the time, that's not cool. And we need to have. The fall has to come. The trees have to have to share.

[C]

Are you. Is this an agreement or disagreement?

[A]

Disagreement.

[B]

Everything has to die to re. To come back.

[C]

I think the seasons are really important for passage of time.

[B]

It is. And that's with everyone being hot, you know?

[C]

You sound like a whale.

[A]

I would love for New York to have summer all the time. Oh, I'm anti seasons, anti fall, anti spring, anti winter.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

If it was 105 degrees every day, guess who wouldn't have depression.

[B]

You don't even like a late spring.

[A]

No, I don't need a late anything. Summer all the time. That's for me. If I could go outside and get vitamin D and feel the sun penetrating through my skin, hitting my epidermis and my dermis, that's a good day. This episode is brought to you by ESPN. Catch the first WWE premium live event on ESPN Wrestlepalooza live on Saturday, September 20th at 7:00pm Eastern Time. It's going to be an epic night in Indianapolis featuring some of the biggest WWE Superstars. This event is only on ESPN, so go to stream.espn.com and sign up to the ESPN app today for your all access pass to Russell Palooza and all WWE Premium Live events. Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? But with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. A network of 130 million of them. In fact, you can even target buyers by job title, industry, company seniority, skills, and. Did I say job title? See how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. Spend $250 on your first campaign and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Get [e-mail] campaign. Terms and conditions apply.

[C]

All right, so I have a full parasocial relationship with a fitness influencer on Instagram, and it has really surprised me. It has. I didn't see this coming, y'. All. Okay, this girl, I really like her and I am like catching myself in moments and like commenting on her stuff. And I'll be like, oh my God. Like, what is going on with me? Okay, so let me just tell you the origin story of how this has happened. She's a girly from the South. Like, she probably loves fall. She probably has a Stanley Tumblr. Okay, whatever those things are. And like, usually like no shade, but usually I'm scrolling past these girls.

[A]

Okay, right.

[C]

Love and respect. Respect. But I'm moving. This girl has captured me, shows up in my feed and I'm like, okay, interesting. And she. And then I'm reading more about, like, how she's talking about food and fitness and she's posting her workouts and she looks great. Like, I really like her body type. Like, she's muscular and she looks real fit. She's not real thin. And I'm just like, oh, I really. I like how you look. And I liked how she was talking about food and fitness and her relationship to food. She's like Food's not the enemy. Food is fuel. This is how you eat healthy. This is how you build muscle. Like, all of the messaging about food and fitness, I'm like, this is accurate. This is good. This is healthy. This is positive. And so much of it, like, you know, the fitness, like, culture right now, I feel like, is, like, off the fucking rails with, like, recommendations. And thin is in. And, like, I mean, people are just bonkers. But I'm like, oh, wait, I agree with her. She's doing it right. Do I follow? See more videos. Like, like, like, like, like. And okay. Her name's Riley Katherine.

[B]

Hey, Riley Riley Catherine.

[C]

Riley Katherine.

[B]

I've needed first name.

[C]

I don't think so.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah. I actually think her name is Riley White, but on Instagram, she's Riley Katherine.

[B]

Oh, first, middle.

[C]

But I am like, I think so. I don't know. But I am like, riley Katherine, you're my parasocial best friend. Now she has an app, okay. And she's. And she posts all of her workouts on the app. And I'm like, oh, I want the app. I want to know what these workouts are influenced. I pay for the app.

[B]

O.

[C]

And the workouts are great, y'. All. I cannot lie.

[A]

Nice. You do look good.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

It's working.

[C]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I've only done one. Okay, but. So she posted.

[A]

I just want to give Riley so much credit.

[C]

What?

[A]

I was trying to give Riley credit, but it's only been one workout.

[C]

Yeah, but I'm hooked. I'm going. I'm, like, looking forward to my next one. Okay, so she. This is what I'm saying, where I keep catching myself in these situations where I'm like, oh, my God, Maria. Like, this is becoming parasocial. So she posted, like, DM me for a free week of my app. And it's like one of those things where if you send the dm, it's an automated response, right? It's like. It's. It's just. You can set that up if you have a certain type of Instagram. So I was like, oh, I want a free week of the app. So IDM her. Like, whatever the word is. It's just like, work out or something. And I wrote work out, and then I wrote, congratulations on the app. And then I was like, oh, my God, Maria. She's not gonna see this message. Like, I'm like, congratulations, girl, on having an app. I'm so proud of you. Like, delete, delete, delete. Oh, my God, she posted another. What'd you say unsent. I did. I deleted it. I was like, this is getting out of control. She.

[A]

She responds back, hey, girl. Saw that. Thanks.

[C]

She has like over 400,000 followers. She's crushing it.

[A]

Let's have her on the pod.

[C]

She posted a video of like some trolls on the Internet were like, I mean, her body is her product, right? She's a, she is a personal trainer. So her body is what is. Is ultimately her business. And so that's like the face of her business. So she posts a lot of pictures of herself and there's some trolls who will go after her and like comment on her body. And like they commented on like they said something about her breast size, which was frankly shitty. And I was like about to jump in the comments and be like, riley, don't let them get to you. I didn't. But look, Riley is like, she's just sort of like milk for a spicy brain. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm like, Riley is here to give us workouts and make us guys feel good.

[A]

A sweet girl.

[C]

She's a sweet girl.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I. It has, I think because she's such a sweet, calm little place in the Internet.

[A]

I like you're protective.

[C]

I'm like, oh, Riley, what's Riley doing today? Oh, Riley's putting ground beef inside of a sweet potato. Good for you, Riley. Anyways, it's just been this whole journey that has been so funny to me because like I said, I'm usually not going in on these girlies, but this one's got me. She has a special place in my heart.

[A]

It sounds you're like transitioning into like Internet mom era a little bit.

[C]

What?

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, you know those moms that have three followers and they'll comment on influencers posts, like, looking great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Looking happy. It's kind of misspelled a little bit. I think that is the era you're transitioning to just with Riley though.

[C]

Oh, okay. Thank you for saying.

[A]

Not in general.

[C]

Thank you for saying Justin Riley. Yeah, I guess, maybe. But like I've held back on my commenting in my like dms. Like, like she just kind of feels like my friend who just like we're just gonna like, you know, go get pumpkin spice lattes and like not talk about really anything.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Really light.

[C]

I just had to tell you guys about this. Cause she's really taken me.

[A]

I love the don't let them get to you, Riley. And I really wish you had pressed send. Cause if I came across and I saw Maria commented, I'd be like, what is this about?

[B]

Let them, Riley.

[A]

Yeah, let them. But, like, and let me do your workout.

[C]

What was it?

[B]

Let me get that free week on the app.

[A]

I don't think I have any parasocial relationships. And the reason why is because I always. I have never commented except on two people's posts. Like, celebrity wise. I commented a purple heart on Sam Smith's account two years ago, and then I commented on Beyonce's Renaissance, like, premiere flyer, whatever it was. But I always feel weird commenting on celebrities posts because a part of me was like, it feels weird to be a Stan, I guess, because you're a celebrity. Whoa.

[B]

The peers. Peers.

[A]

Moment of silence for that.

[D]

No, I'm being dead. I see.

[A]

Elaborate.

[D]

I think sometimes when you yourself are creative and you are, the veil is very thin between where you are now and success. Like, you can see it.

[B]

You see yourself there.

[D]

It's very hard to act like you are a normal person. And I'm putting that in quotes as someone who is not creating art, putting art in the world. And I find a lot of people who may be students of fans of celebrities do not act that way in celebrities because in their mind, they're like. Like we're potentially going to be in the same space. And I don't want to act like that. I'm doing too much.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

So I just.

[D]

I wasn't being facetious. I'm being dead as serious.

[C]

You yourself are.

[D]

The veil is thin between now and that.

[A]

And I think that translates into real life, because I think even in real life, I don't think I would approach a celebrity and say I'm a. I'm a fan of their work. I'd rather encounter them in a place where we feel equal, whether it's at an event or whether it's at a creative. In a creative space. But I've always kind of maybe deep down felt uncomfortable acting like a fan and it's not because of ego or anything, but maybe it has to do with like, I want them to view me as a cohort of some sort, as opposed to maybe shooing me off and just saying, oh, thanks, yeah.

[C]

Are you talking about, like mega celebrities?

[A]

I guess, in any capacity, maybe even an influencer. Like, I don't know if I would. If I saw an influencer in the wild. I don't know if I would approach them even if maybe I actually genuinely liked their work or comedy. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, I definitely comment on Meg Thee. Stallion's posts like, fire emoji. Fire emoji. But I think I get what y' all are saying because definitely when I've seen celebrities out in the wild, I don't go up to them and say hello, because I'm saving that for the future. But at the same time, I feel like I think about when celebrities meet each other and I see videos of it, and they do get excited about each other. So I do think there's a fine line between. You could still be like, I love your work. Because they all work and they all see each other's work. They all fan Beyonce, you know, and she's like. But I just think, like. But it's like, you know, still acknowledging their work, and they know you're like, they're gonna go home later that day and be like, oh, bitch, you follow me trying to act nonchalant. You know what I mean? I don't know. Right? It's like a balance of being able to be like, oh, Maria, I think your work's fantastic. And we're still like peers while not being a fan. Right.

[C]

I just think there's, like, no shade in telling someone I'm a fan of you. Like, if you're my peer or maybe you're even less experienced than me. I think we just need to unload the word fan. Fan. I'm a fan. Cool. Great. Thanks. It doesn't mean I'm obsessed with you. And I have, like, you know, pictures with, like, red yarn connecting different pictures of your face together in my bedroom.

[A]

I like when you say like that because it does make it much more of an approachable thing to do. Yeah, it's chill. It doesn't have to be.

[B]

No, if you don't acknowledge it, I think it's weird.

[C]

I mean, I'm running up to Riley crying, shaking, girl, I love you.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

That's crazy. Then you're literally.

[C]

I've been.

[A]

I almost commented one day.

[C]

I haven't commented, but I am liking. Yeah, I'm liking almost everything.

[A]

Hell, yeah. Her. Her notifications is just. Maria Randazzo.

[C]

Who the hell is this?

[A]

Who's this bitch?

[C]

And I'm after the workouts. I'm commenting. Loved it in the app. It's like, let Riley know how you like the workout. I'm like, it rocked. Anyways.

[A]

Yeah. After the one workout.

[C]

Yeah, I just started. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you guys about this odd journey I've been on that's actually been kind of fun.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu. An all new season of Futurama is back, blending heartfelt moments with razor sharp humor while accidentally saving the day. The Planet Express crew is back, defying gravity and common sense. From the creator of The Simpsons comes 10 new episodes where the romance is hot, the threats are bigger, and the action hits harder. Don't miss the all new season of Futurama. Watch it Mondays on FXX or streaming on Hulu. Disney's Lilo and Stitch has finally landed on Disney. Now you can watch the global phenomenon at home with your ohana.

[B]

Be good for one second.

[A]

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[B]

Perfect stitch, also cute and fluffy.

[A]

Disney's Lilo and Stitch rated PG now streaming on Disney plus. And right now you can get Disney, Hulu and all of ESPN with an incredible limited time offer. Terms apply.

[D]

It's just short. I just wanted to say shout out to friends that you can go months, sometimes years without seeing and you pick up right where you left off. I think it's soul healing and affirming to have someone not be in your presence but know you so well you can just pick right up. I had a friend come into town a week or so ago. We were roommates for one year in Chicago in 2015. And this person has been in my life and has held my children and has come to see me and has just been such an important person in my life. She came and saw me do a show and then afterwards we walked from the East Village all the way to Battery park talking.

[A]

That was a good combo.

[D]

And yeah, I just wanted to say shout out to her. And friendships and community. I think they're so important in times like these. And yeah, I'm just curious if there's person in your lives that you all feel free to feel like you can talk to in that way.

[A]

I like that. You know, the topic I originally was gonna bring up before Latam is this book called All About Love by Bill Hooks.

[C]

Ooh, I wanna read that.

[A]

Phenomenal book. But the idea is basically using love as a tool to reconstruct society in a way that prioritizes care in the middle and that would solve a lot of our political and social issues. Yeah, but a friend of mine gave me that book this summer that I met and it was because I was saying sometimes I feel like we use the word friend a little loosely because when I call someone when I'm in distress, I call them a friend. But then sometimes I go to comedy shows with people And I do gigs with people, and I also call them a friend, but I'm like, I don't think it's actually fair to use the word friend for both of those people.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Or an alternative take. Maybe you can use the word friend, but there's different expectations of those people. And so I love that you said that to Kara, because I think this summer was the first time where I was like, who do I call when I'm at my darkest? And I think for a long time, I was very set on. I'm gonna be. I'm independent. I don't need anybody. Like, it's nice to have friends, but I'm independent. I'm gonna do this on my own. But I think the best part of life is finding people who can fully embrace you for who you are and to be there for you when you are going through really rough patches and then see you through it to the other side. There is something so much more fulfilling about living this life with people who love you unconditionally, whether it's a friend that you don't talk to for a long time or a friend that you do. But I think the purpose of life is to do it with people and to do it in community and together.

[C]

Yeah, I feel grateful. I have a lot of friends who I've had for a very long time, and we don't talk often because we live all over the country and across different time zones. But I have some friends, particularly from college, who I love them to death. And a lot of time might pass before we connect, but it feels like nothing has changed and we can pick it back up.

[B]

I do have a friend that we also used to live together. We moved from South Carolina at different times, reconnected, living in the Northeast, and we see each other maybe every few months, but we do talk often. And so, yeah, I guess it's. It's nice to have somebody that I can reconnect with who's seen me at different stages in life, and I've seen them at different stages in life and where we can still be. Because also, too, when you've been with. Been friends with people, when you've changed so much and they've changed, sometimes y' all don't change in the same ways, and it can be hard to maintain a friendship. So it's nice to feel we're consistent in the same way. But also, too, I've been. I guess, I don't know. Sorry in a way, but I've been realizing that I'm like one of those People that's really close to my family, like, shout out to some of my sisters. Some. Sorry. Shout out to some of my sisters. And my oldest niece. I call my nieceter. Definitely friends in a way. Like, when I see them, I reconnect with them and. And I'm able to tell them things and feel safe and supported and honestly is a big reason sometimes I be like, dang, I'm just living at home because I'm able to just go over to my family's house every weekend. We laugh and share and feel extremely supported. And they've also seen me at, obviously, all my life stages, and they still love me. So, yeah, shout out to family.

[A]

I think all anybody ever wants in life is to be heard and to be seen. And I think it really is a blessing to have people that can give that gift to you, because it's really easy to make small talk with a lot of people, but not a lot of people will give you the space to dump and then maybe continue dumping throughout time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, if you're going through a breakup, I think a lot of people would get exhausted. Exhausted. Like, oh, you're bringing up this breakup again. So to meet someone that's like, no, bring it up again. Like, I understand it's affecting you.

[B]

We have new data to unpack today.

[A]

Yeah. That is beautiful. Because that means that they love you because they want you to grow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think that's real love when you want someone to grow.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or, I mean, honestly, Poppy, like, I haven't seen you since May. It's September. And, like, you walked in today and it was like, boom, like, we're back. And, like, just, like, want to hear how you are. Want to hear how you're doing. I know you want to hear same thing from all of us. So, like, I feel like we have that with you. You have that with us. I also, like, I hate small talk. It's, like, painful to me. And by small talk, I just mean, like, nobody's emotionally invested in what we're talking about here. We're just, like, trying to pass the time. So I love it when I meet, like, a stranger at a party or something, and it's like, what's your relationship like with your mother? He's like, let's go.

[B]

Do you hate it, though? Okay, sorry. Kind of, like sidetracking with small talk. Because I don't mind getting into small talk, but, like, do you ever go to a function and you're relegated to talk to somebody, and, like, they clearly, like, the conversation kind of stops and we're all just standing here awkwardly, you know what I mean? And no one's trying to pick it back up. No one leaves. But we're all just like, you know, I hate that.

[A]

I give a 3 second grace period and then I go, it was so nice to meet you.

[B]

And then I'm gonna walk away.

[A]

And I will get the fuck out of there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I usually will walk away, too, but it's very awkward.

[C]

Yeah, it's a part of being alive.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

I hate the awkward feeling too, but lately I've just been able to embrace and being like, ain't this weird? And I'm usually the one to. I. I think socially I am. If I'm in a conversation with people who maybe aren't as extroverted as I am, I'm usually the one who's, like, keeping the awkwardness out of the circle because I can, like, keep conversation going, like, really easily. But lately I've been like, it's my job to make everybody comfy. And so I just let it be uncomfortable. And I look at the silence, I'm like, y' all can squirm.

[A]

Yeah, that's power.

[B]

Let them.

[A]

Let them. I love that I shout out to the good people in the world that are rare to find but worthwhile when you find them. Shout out to Mel Robbins. Shout out to Riley White, Catherine, Riley Katherine. And shout out to a couple of your sisters. Not all of them. I'm so happy we could do this.

[C]

We're so happy to have you back, Poppy.

[A]

So happy.

[C]

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the List. And thank you very much to Glamorous Trash for featuring us on your feed this week. We're so happy to be here. Thank you, Christina Lopez. Thank you, Chelsea devontez. Thank you, Jordan Moncada. If you like the you can listen to us anywhere where you get your podcasts. And if you're listening to this on the List feed, please feel free to drop us a comment. Rate us. Tell your friends about us. We would love it if you were spreading the good word. Do we have any final thoughts we want to add or wrap it on up?

[A]

Check out our website. It's quite cute.

[C]

Yeah, Poppy designed the cutest website for us. Poppy, you're jack of all trades.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Yes. All right, y' all take care of yourselves. Take care of each other.

[B]

We out.