Viral Article Book Club: Venmo Brides and Bachelorette Capitalism

Summary

Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast

Episode: Viral Article Book Club: Venmo Brides and Bachelorette Capitalism
Host: Chelsea Devantez
Guest: Greta Johnson
Release Date: June 27, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast, Chelsea Devantez delves into the intriguing phenomenon of "Venmo Brides" and the broader implications of bachelorette capitalism. Joined by guest Greta Johnson, the discussion navigates the complexities of modern wedding traditions, financial pressures, and societal expectations surrounding female celebrations.

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Recap of the Article: "Venmo Brides"

Chelsea introduces the episode by discussing the viral article "You May Now Venmo the Bride" by Elizabeth Galino, published in New York Magazine's The Cut. The article explores the trend of brides utilizing Venmo to fund their bachelorette parties, a practice that blends social media savvy with traditional wedding expenses.

Key Points from the Article:

• Brides are posting QR codes and Venmo handles on Instagram, requesting monetary contributions for their bachelorette festivities.
• These funds often cover substantial costs, ranging from $1,300 to $2,000, enabling expensive trips and elaborate plans.
• The article frames this trend as a form of fundraising or even panhandling, sparking debates about its appropriateness and motivations.

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Discussion on Venmoing Brides

Chelsea Devantez [07:12]: "Even though I wouldn't share one of these QR codes myself, I realized that while I was being judgmental of the 'buy a bride a drink' call-outs, I was ignoring how the women who post them are doing something rather smart. Tacky, sure, but perhaps more savvy than scammy."

Chelsea contemplates the dual nature of this trend, recognizing both the financial acumen and the perceived crudeness of asking for monetary support in lieu of traditional gifts.

Greta Johnson [08:30]: "I mean, I think the stakes are very low in this article, but I still feel like this fits in the category of 'I hate it here for me.'"

Greta expresses her discomfort with the commercialization of bachelorette parties, emphasizing that the financial burden can transform what should be a joyous occasion into a source of stress.

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Personal Experiences with Bachelorette Parties and Weddings

Chelsea Devantez [09:23]: "I have been known as the worst bridesmaid... I could never afford it. There were really huge burdens in my life."

Chelsea shares her challenging experiences as a bridesmaid, highlighting how financial constraints and personal responsibilities can detract from the celebratory nature of such events.

Greta Johnson [11:05]: "I had some friends who had bachelorettes, yes. I completely understand what you're saying... but why do you have to wait until you're gonna get married to be able to have that time with your friends?"

Greta raises a poignant question about the necessity of tying female friendships and celebrations strictly to marital status, advocating for independent gatherings that honor friendships without the shadow of wedding expenses.

Chelsea Devantez [13:27]: "I love events. I love themes. I love dressing up and going out more than anything."

Contrasting Greta's sentiments, Chelsea expresses her appreciation for structured celebrations, emphasizing the value she finds in meticulously planned events that honor significant life milestones.

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Societal Expectations and the Wedding-Industrial Complex

The hosts delve into the broader implications of wedding traditions, discussing how societal pressure and corporate influences can distort personal celebrations.

Greta Johnson [28:07]: "Yeah. It is. But I also think anytime we can, like, expand those boundaries... that's sweet."

Greta acknowledges the privilege intertwined with traditional wedding practices, critiquing how societal norms can pressure individuals, especially women, into conforming to specific life timelines and expectations.

Chelsea Devantez [31:01]: "Love has changed. Love has changed. Why have weddings not caught up with love?"

Chelsea challenges the stagnation of wedding traditions in an evolving cultural landscape, questioning why personal expressions of love haven't adapted to reflect contemporary values and relationships.

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The Click Lit Quiz

In an engaging segment, Chelsea and Greta participate in the "Click Lit Quiz," addressing three thought-provoking questions about the "Venmo Brides" article.

1. Was the article well written?

   • Greta Johnson [33:07]: "I don't know about that... Is the writer of the article too much of a character in this piece? And I think the answer might be yes in this instance."
   • Chelsea Devantez [33:32]: "I think I would agree with you... the digital extension of shit that already exists."

2. Did reading this article make you want to scream about it to someone?

   • Both Hosts: "Yes."

3. Did reading this article deepen your thinking on the subject?

   • Greta Johnson [34:03]: "Yes... talking to you about it has."
   • Chelsea Devantez [34:37]: "Yes, I'm a yes."

The quiz reveals a consensus between the hosts, highlighting both the polarizing nature of the trend and its ability to provoke meaningful discussion.

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Conclusion and Closing Remarks

Chelsea and Greta wrap up the episode by reinforcing their shared perspectives on redefining celebrations and challenging established norms. They advocate for more inclusive and financially considerate ways to honor significant life events, emphasizing the importance of community and personal values over commercialized traditions.

Notable Closing Quote: Greta Johnson [36:55]: "So, like, stay tuned."

Chelsea extends gratitude to the podcast team and promotes Greta's ventures, fostering continued support and engagement within their community.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chelsea Devantez [07:12]:
  "Even though I wouldn't share one of these QR codes myself, I realized that while I was being judgmental of the 'buy a bride a drink' call-outs, I was ignoring how the women who post them are doing something rather smart. Tacky, sure, but perhaps more savvy than scammy."

• Greta Johnson [11:05]:
  "I had some friends who had bachelorettes, yes. I completely understand what you're saying... but why do you have to wait until you're gonna get married to be able to have that time with your friends?"

• Chelsea Devantez [31:01]:
  "Love has changed. Love has changed. Why have weddings not caught up with love?"

• Greta Johnson [33:07]:
  "Is the writer of the article too much of a character in this piece? And I think the answer might be yes in this instance."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode offers a candid exploration of how modern financial practices intersect with age-old traditions, prompting listeners to rethink the dynamics of celebration, community, and personal values in the context of significant life events like weddings and bachelorette parties.

Transcript

[Chelsea Devontez]

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[Chelsea Devontez]

Welcome to Glamorous Trash. This is a podcast that book clubs, viral articles, celebrity memoirs and trashy discourse to elevate your life. I'm your host, Chelsea Devontez. I'm a TV writer, comedian, filmmaker, author and sometimes I'm in stuff too. And today's episode is part of our viral article series where we recap and discuss articles that go wild on the Internet as it is part of the glamorous trash literary world. Now today we are discussing you may now Venmo the Bride by Elizabeth Galino for New York Magazine's the Cut. Yeah, it's the Cut. It's back. My friends, I will explain to you why this is the article we chose this week over a couple others once I bring my guest in. But this article was shared by Cookie Lisa Lis over in our Patreon chat, which is where people are sharing amazing articles and discussing them all the time in our dedicated article chat to join our Patreon and check it out. Now let's dive in. Our guest today is Greta Johnson. Greta is an interviewer, podcast host and book person. She co hosts HBO's official game of Thrones podcast and writes the Greta Graham newsletter on Substack. You may know Greta as the host of Wez's Nerdette podcast. That really got me.

[Greta Johnson]

It's a tricky one. You don't actually have to say it's WB easies. You could just say nerd. I'm now. Not that anybody knows that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Are we breaking news? We should. We'll cut that out.

[Greta Johnson]

We could.

[Chelsea Devontez]

We could Go Chelsea. Exclusive motherfucking drop. Greta's Nerdette podcast. She has girl bossed into the sky and owns her content, owns her art. I also want to say, Greta, listen, you're fully here. I fully brought you into the podcast now.

[Greta Johnson]

Hello.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Your podcast is where Christina and I first met. And you do cameras off on your podcast. So I was just hearing this voice and I said, I have to know who this is. And I just found Christina. She already followed me. I was like, What?

[Greta Johnson]

What?

[Chelsea Devontez]

What? DM'd with her, made her become my podcast producer from your podcast.

[Greta Johnson]

I am so thrilled by that. Yep. I do fully take credit for that, for this relationship.

[Chelsea Devontez]

It's like a matchmaking. This is very wedding themed. Like, you have credit for me and Christina's working relationship.

[Greta Johnson]

So is this where I give you my Venmo then?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yeah, I think it's time. Time to Venmo me. Okay, so I just want to hit a few quick notes before we really dive into the article, which is that there were other more viral articles this week. Like, I'm so sick of this, which is why I refuse to platform it. But there's all these articles written now about, like, oh my God, the new MAGA conservative Gen Z er. Like the new MAGA conservative wave of hotties. And like, it's so hot. And look, I get it. There was one article at the beginning.

[Greta Johnson]

Of the year, we did it.

[Chelsea Devontez]

But this has become like a clickbait hell. And the numbers they are reporting on of people who are a part of this movement are literally nothing compared to, like, I don't know, 1/50 of the socialist voters who just voted Mamdani in. You know what I'm saying? So it's like all these articles are making you think, like, oh, my God, there's this conservative trad wife Gen Z movement that's like, taking over. And they're hot and they're cool and it's like, yeah, it's just like really tiny groups of people that they're reporting on. That's my opinion.

[Greta Johnson]

Isn't it just fascinating that bigotry is sexy, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Oh, my God.

[Greta Johnson]

You know, it's just like, really? Like, can we not? Can we just not?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Can we not? So that's kind of why I chose I forced you into this article. Cause I said, you know, we deserve a break. It's been a rough week in the news. I know everybody listening was at no Kings. I know we are staying diligent with the news. We deserve something fun. We deserve to talk about weird Bridal culture this week. Now, Greta, you are. I heard you're maybe getting married soon.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah. So it's so funny. I checked with my boyfriend yesterday. I was like, is it cool if I, like. Cause so far the most public this announcement has gone is, like, my mom put it in her Christmas newsletter last year.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Is it digital, or does she print it out and mail it?

[Greta Johnson]

She did print it out. She, like, puts pictures on it. She prints it out. She mails it to people.

[Chelsea Devontez]

This is incredible. How do I get on that list? Because I have two of them that I get every year, and they're the things I look forward to the most.

[Greta Johnson]

Aren't they the best? Yeah. So, yeah, we are, quote, unquote engaged, though he has not proposed, but we joke about, like, eloping. So, like, we're. I mean, we've been cohabitating for over two years now. He is my person. We're gonna get hitched, but we haven't, like, made plans. There's. I don't have a ring yet.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yeah, but, like, we're getting married. We agree on it.

[Greta Johnson]

We're. Yeah, but, like, we're not gonna spend $30,000 also is, like, a very important part of our whole thing.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Okay, great. So let's dive in. I love this synopsis. I love that I've both broken that you own your podcast and that you are technically not technically engaged on. So I'm. Breaking news, exclusives. So let's get into the article. Just a quick recap. You may now Venmo. The bride is a thing happening constantly. It is a trend that has swept the nation. I will read the first sentence of the article. Last week, someone I follow on Instagram posted a story asking her followers to buy the bride a drink accompanied by a QR code and a Venmo account over a light pink background. And so this isn't a casual thing. This is QR codes. This is graphic design. And then some of these bachelorette groups are getting, like, $2,000 or $1300 or $1600. And so then they get to cover a lot of these bachelorette trips. Like, oh, this actually covered dinner and drinks for every night. Or it covered the entire trip. And then the framing of the article is that it's swindling or that it's like, fundraising. Because I think these girls.

[Greta Johnson]

Or begging. I mean, one of the girls used the word begging. Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And I found it really interesting. But I think she pulled it from these TikTok videos where girls are making videos, being like, here's how we raised $2,000. Which is very different from the idea of buy the bride a drink like that they're panhandling online versus. Versus offering an opportunity.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Then she wrote, even though I wouldn't share one of these QR codes myself, I realized that while I was being judgmental of the buy a bride a drink call outs, I was ignoring how the women who post them are doing something rather smart. Tacky, sure, but perhaps more savvy than scammy. Some of these bridesmaids are getting nearly all expenses paid vacations out of these IG requests, including accommodations and transportations. And then she ends the article saying, the buy the bride a drink posters who I have spoken to all told me that while it's awkward to ask for cash, that initial uneasiness is worth it. If you're saving money in the long run, why not embrace the cringe? Amanda says if it means you're not going broke to go on a bachelorette, you might as well. Okay, so that's the article in a nutshell, Greta, overall, thoughts and takes to begin this conversation of this specific trend.

[Greta Johnson]

I mean, I think the stakes are very low in this article, but I still feel like this fits in the category of I hate it here for me.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yes. Yeah.

[Greta Johnson]

And, like, I think, you know, to your point, there are a couple layers here. I have actually never been to a bachelorette party.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Really?

[Greta Johnson]

I think partly because I have barely been able to afford weddings usually, let alone, like, also traveling for a bachelorette party. I also, like, I don't know if you've had this experience where you're, like, sitting in a bar reading a book or something, and the bachelorette party comes in and you're like, oh, fuck me, this is terrible now. But, like, generally, I think those vibes are kind of very bad anyway.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Well. And they have a very bad reputation. Like, even if you like, I.

[Greta Johnson]

Yes.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I really. I'm so excited you're here because I think we're gonna agree on a lot and then we're also gonna be very different. But I remember. No, I love debates.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah. Did you have a bachelorette party?

[Chelsea Devontez]

I did. I did. I've been known as the worst bridesmaid anytime I've ever been a part of it. Because I was always performing. During the times in my life when I was asked to be a bridesmaid, we would perform, like, eight shows a week, and we got two days off a year, so I would arrive late. I could never afford it. It's like, I don't have the gift. I don't have the dress. I don't have the energy. I don't have. There were really huge burdens in my life.

[Greta Johnson]

Yes. Yes.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And I got married later on. Like, I didn't get married in my 20s. I got married in my 30s, and I really, really intentionally tried to do it differently. And I held a bachelorette party that, by all accounts, wouldn't be a burden as much as I could make it. That. And it is one of the greatest weekends of my entire life, because it is.

[Greta Johnson]

That's really sweet.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Really built to celebrate friendships and girlhood and femininity. Gender aside, you're celebrating these moments in life, and that's the structure for it. And so I really think everyone should do one, because it's just structure to have this incredible celebration of friendship and celebration of seeing each other through different chapters. However, on the airplane, did I get a free drink? Because the stewardess came over and said, you're the best, quietest bachelorette party we've ever seen, and we'd like to honor you with a little cup of vodka soda.

[Greta Johnson]

That is something to show off about. I mean, that's amazing.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Hot ride. So. So to say that, but it's, like, very aware that, like, bachelorettes are not a welcome presence usually.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Okay. So did you have friends who were having bachelorettes, or is that, like, not part of your friend group?

[Greta Johnson]

I had some friends who had bachelorettes, yes. Like, I completely understand what you're saying. I think the celebration of female friendship is gorgeous, and I think we don't prioritize it enough societally, like, ever. But what really bums me out is, like, why do you have to wait until you're gonna get married to be able to have that time with your friends?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yes.

[Greta Johnson]

You know what I mean? Like, I went on a girls trip to Palm Springs earlier this year with my three best friends from high school, and it was wonderful. And it was like, we are all turning 40 this year. So we took the time and we did it. Like, why do you have to reach this weird societal expectation to be able to celebrate your friends?

[Chelsea Devontez]

I totally agree with that. And I think there's one key element that you could just use without wedding culture being a part of it. But it's structure. It's structure embedded into a bachelorette is one of you gets to be the main character. Everyone else is now invited to show up as support systems to make presentations celebrating the girl, to choose things that, like, celebrate your friendship, to do speeches, to declare your love. It's really, like, an eventization of your friendship. And I think that's available to everyone, but no one takes part in it unless it's, like, a bachelorette, because those are traditions we know about. You know what I mean?

[Greta Johnson]

Right? I do. I mean, I think that bums me out, too, then, because, like, why not throw a really fancy 40th and, like, put up a registry and ask people?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Oh, I think you should. I think everyone should.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah. I just think, like, the wedding industrial complex of it all, especially when people are settling so hard, often when they do get married, right, where it's, like, actually maybe good for you for being 40 and single is, like, also a thing we should be celebrating. You know, I think especially women are often socialized to think that, you know, like, their highest worth is in marrying. Whatever, dude and making babies. I think in a lot of ways, societally, we have moved away from that, but I think in a lot of ways, we haven't either.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yeah.

[Greta Johnson]

You know, and so I think anytime we can, like, expand those boundaries, like, everybody wins.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I completely agree with that. I love weddings so much. I love having one. I love going to them. I think they're insane, and I love insane things. I love events. I love themes. Mm.

[Greta Johnson]

You like dressing up and going out more than anything.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I don't like going out. I like events, and I like dressing up. I like structure. If you can hear, like, I don't like just showing up and milling about. I went crazy with my wedding, for sure. And that is another one where, like, that annoying trope. One of the best days of my life, if not like, the best day.

[Greta Johnson]

Well, thank God. I mean, a lot of people, I think, end up just really stressed out and miserable in addition to having spent tens of thousands of dollars. And then it's just like, what is that?

[Chelsea Devontez]

And I think that's what the wedding industrial complex makes you do. And I think people come to weddings and they mold themselves to fit our notions of weddings and wedding culture. And what happens versus you shaping the wedding to fit you. What does wedding look like when it comes through the couple versus the couple coming to the wedding and then being forced to do all these things that aren't them. So we've done our conversation backwards. We've done wedding industrial complex. But then we're gonna get into Venmo. Venmoing the bride.

[Greta Johnson]

I like it, though. I think zooming in makes sense in this context. Right.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I, for a long time was like, well, I'll never have a wedding because I can't buy a pizza, so how's that gonna work? And I don't come from a family that could pay for it. Neither does my husband. I was unwilling to ever participate in this unless I could pay for it myself. No bull or childhood trauma? Unsure. But I was like, this will be on us. So this goes to venmoing the bride. How do you feel about, like, do you think this is an okay practice? Would you ever participate? Would you ever do it? I feel like the answer is no. Tell me why.

[Greta Johnson]

The answer is no. I would much rather venmo somebody 50 bucks when they have Covid or something. You know, like, here's a treat. Get delivery.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I feel I honestly, I want to do it as a joke and see. Not a joke, but a prank and see what happens if I put up a link. And I was like, hey, could everyone donate $10 to this? Cause I think, I think a few people would. Yeah, if I put up a link and I was like, it's my birthday. Buy me a drink. I bet I'd get way more fucking money.

[Greta Johnson]

That's brutal.

[Chelsea Devontez]

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[Greta Johnson]

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[Chelsea Devontez]

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[Greta Johnson]

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[Chelsea Devontez]

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[Greta Johnson]

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[Chelsea Devontez]

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[Greta Johnson]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Hey, I have Covid. Send me $10 is not gonna work as well as I'm getting married. Send me $10.

[Greta Johnson]

Yes, yes.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Which is why you should do that. Say, send me $10, buy me a drink, and then give it to the things that are on fire and culture right now. And how.

[Greta Johnson]

I mean, yeah, that is. I do kind of like that idea. I. Yeah. I don't think I would Venmo a bra. I'm trying to think of instances. I did Venmo a friend Margarita money once when she was heading to the airport.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And did she ask for it?

[Greta Johnson]

No, she didn't. No. That's the other thing. I would much rather give someone money if they have asked for it, you know?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yeah, I definitely would. I definitely would be like, oh, I'll buy the bride a drink. I'll call out Chris Derosa, podcaster, fixing famous people on his birthday. He was like, hey, it's my birthday. It would, like, repost my podcast. Repost my whatever for my birthday.

[Greta Johnson]

Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And I loved it because, like, tracking down a friend's address to send them a gift, which is all instantly gets you at a minimum, $20 before shipping. Right. It's a lot. It's also a burden. Life is hard. But I love Chris. Chris is now giving me a really easy way to wish him happy birthday and, like, to participate in his livelihood. And so I'm, like, so happy to do that. If he had posted buy me a drink on my birthday, I would have been like, yes, I live a million miles away. I would love to send you a drink. Same with bridal culture for me, oh, my gosh, she's getting married. I don't want to go, or I'm not invited. But I do love you, and I want you to have a nice night. What a fun way for me to.

[Greta Johnson]

Like, give love and get to participate in your own way.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I also feel like it's a digital extension of what already happens. Money dresses at weddings, which is like a Hispanic thing where you, like, pin money on the bridal dress. Like, people just, I don't know, showing up and giving you a check cause you got married. Not something I've experienced, but something I've seen. Isn't it just the extension of, like, community coming together to lift you up financially because you were brave enough to find love?

[Greta Johnson]

I mean, that's such a lovely way of putting it.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Well, I don't know. Fight, fight me. Debate me down. Greta, I'm ready. But is it not an extension of what's already in wedding culture?

[Greta Johnson]

Oh, it. A thousand percent is already. It is. And it's also. I do, like. There's sort of, like, an underhandedness of it that I do respect.

[Chelsea Devontez]

You respect the underhandedness? You respect, like, getting a deal?

[Greta Johnson]

Well, I mean, in a lot of ways, it is the alternative to, like, oh, the bride's parents aren't paying for all of. Additionally, shouldn't, like, they just be footing this entire bill or whatever? Right. I mean, I guess mixing it up from that point of view is kind of nice. But I don't know. I mean, the whole idea of donations in general getting dollars directly from people is so fascinating to me. I don't know. If you think of, like, the other weird existential crisis I had while reading this is like, how different is this than my fucking substack? You know?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Extremely different.

[Greta Johnson]

The answer is, it's actually very different.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Extremely different. You're offering art and content. It's a product, sure.

[Greta Johnson]

Yes. But it's still like, hey, do you like this? Will you give me some dollars?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Completely different. Because the bachelorette party is like, give me money to have fun. Frivolous.

[Greta Johnson]

Let me get trashed with my friends tonight.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Frivolous, unnecessary, not good for the world. Not giving back, and you get nothing in return. I am sending you money to have a nice time for free. That's extremely different.

[Greta Johnson]

It is. But I also think on the back end, the motivations for people are probably kind of similar. The people who are giving the dollars, where it's like, I would much give the bride 15 bucks for a cocktail than participate in this weird structure where, like, I don't actually know where the dollars are going. You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Devontez]

What is the weird structure where you don't know where the dollars are going with a wedding?

[Greta Johnson]

I guess that's a fair. Well, like, even just, like, buying the plane ticket or whatever, you know, you're.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Saying this is the way to not go on the Bachelorette, I suppose, which.

[Greta Johnson]

It is just constantly looking for reasons to stay.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I mean, it is a good way out of it. Well, here's what I'll say. When the article started, a lot of talking about how it's. Yeah, it's panhandling, it's begging, it's fundraising. One of the brides is quoted as saying, it's a GoFundMe. It's like, oh, I mean, yeah. So I would say that view and framing on it. I'm so out on. Like, if we are going to be raising money for donations, like, like I already said, pretend you're having a bachelorette. Please donate it to the many causes that we'll link in the show. Notes that need your money. I like that. But in the tradition of participating in someone's joy. And you don't have to buy the plane ticket. I love it.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Okay, let me tell you a little story.

[Greta Johnson]

Okay.

[Chelsea Devontez]

A little personal story. I once went on a bachelorette, and it was $600 for the room for two nights. Shared it with three girls. It was this mansion. Giant. Giant. Like an estate, Actually, I would call it an estate.

[Greta Johnson]

How many. How many girls went?

[Chelsea Devontez]

26.

[Greta Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Now, I couldn't really participate in these things in my 20s, so in my 30s, I'm, like, psyched to show up. I have a job. I have health insurance. I had $600. Fucking thrill. Thrilled to go. Thrilled to be a part of this world. It's like a kid outside a toy store where I'm like, I walked into the giant lady bachelorettes.

[Greta Johnson]

And did you know most of the women there?

[Chelsea Devontez]

I only knew a small handful, but I knew the two I was sharing the room with who I adored. And it's just. Yeah, it's a reason to have a girls trip. Like I said, I don't like loose parties. I like an agenda. I like, we're having brunch at 11. We're hanging by.

[Greta Johnson]

Here's. Here's the itinerary.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And it's not because I'm Marnie from Girls. It's because I don't want to do nothing with my brain. It kills me. Like, I, like, I want to read. I want, like. But I don't just want to, like, sit there and small talk for 10 hours. Like, kill me. So again, is it childhood trauma or is it preferences? I don't know. But anyways, so we go. When we were there, every single. Every single thing was catered. Everything was catered. Like, different catering companies. Like, I think a bartender came for two hours to make margaritas while we.

[Greta Johnson]

Were in the estates pool.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And I knew that the bride was from Money, but I was like, holy shit.

[Greta Johnson]

Like, this is. I was sort of.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I'm used to the situations where it's like, you bring the bread, I'll bring the peanut butter, you'll make guacamole. Like, you know, you're all.

[Greta Johnson]

Everybody's chipping in. Yes.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Like, I am a trad wife when I'm on a Bachelorette. I'm here being like, okay, who's making the bread? Because it's free or cheapest. Anyways, so I've foraged. I have foraged these blueberries. Who's bought the sheet cake from Ralph's? So, anyways, we leave. Great weekend. We are Venmo requested for another 600.

[Greta Johnson]

No.

[Chelsea Devontez]

A surprise.

[Greta Johnson]

That's very.

[Chelsea Devontez]

A surprise. $600. And this is something that needs to be said up front. Hey, we're catering every meal. This will be split, please expect.

[Greta Johnson]

You can't surprise somebody, especially with that many dollars. That's changing.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Fucking. That is life ruining money. To not be expecting $600 times 26.

[Greta Johnson]

Dude. Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And so we were like, what now? I happened to be. I. I had just started working in tv, so I had it, but I was like, every other moment in my life, I wouldn't have had this.

[Greta Johnson]

That sucks. Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And I. Yeah, it was. It was horrifying. So. But this is all Venmo. Venmo. Venmo is a part of all these stories. Venmo is a part of these layers that, like, this is a financial thing. You have to take on going to bachelorettes.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And participating in weddings is so expensive. Should you get it crowdfunded?

[Greta Johnson]

So can I ask you a question about the surprise? $600, though, like, did that. I mean, you described, you know, the, like, being the kid at the toy store, outside the toy store, being so excited to go in. Like, that must have changed how you ended up feeling about that weekend, right?

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yeah, I think, like, it wasn't like, oh, everything was perfect. And then this changed everything. But it did color, like. Yeah, it's just a very class specific activity. Like, to assume that everyone has this and that you can surprise them with it is, like, not something I, like, want to be a part of. And yet I do, Greta. Like, I did have a big ass wedding. You know what I mean? I did have a bachelorette party. I did fly to New Miami. Like, I did it. And I remember thinking, like, oh, my God, I almost missed out on some of the most incredible ceremonial parts of life because of money and because of embarrassment, like, that it would be embarrassing to, like, take up this much space or to spend money on this. And I remember my husband and I, when we were spending the money, because, you know, we paid for everything ourselves. We were like, are we gonna really fucking regret this? And we were slow dancing at the end of the night, and at the same time, we looked at each other and we were like, every cent was worth It. There was just something so worth it about gathering community and doing something in ceremony to be witnessed. There's something magical about it. I think it's why church exists. Like, there's something. That's why a drag show will change your life.

[Greta Johnson]

Like, when we have so little of that in this day and age too. Right? Like, and so I get that.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I. I don't know. I think a bachelorette can be like, one of the best weekends of your life. And if you can't afford it, should you be like, hey, celebrate love. Send $10? I don't know.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah. I mean, it's also like, you know, the thing we haven't talked about is how many people take out, like, literal entire fucking credit cards to pay for this stuff. Otherwise, you know, and like, you know, if. If you and your husband at the end of the night had been like, well, is it worth this 8.7% interest rate or whatever, like, on this line of credit? You know, like, that's also a very different situation.

[Chelsea Devontez]

That is what makes me, like, sad to share this, which is that, like, I never would have had a wedding and never planned on having a wedding because I never had the money for a wedding. So again, it is a capitalistic venture. Like, I just assumed I'd never get married. I came into some jobs literally that year. It's not like the years that followed in my life.

[Greta Johnson]

Right. You've been, like, saving up for a while.

[Chelsea Devontez]

It's not like our industry hasn't completely fucking collapsed for the past three years. What do you mean, Chelsea? And so it isn't something I would have done against all odds. And I do think there's so many ways to celebrate that don't require flying to Nashville or getting the mansion. Like, I think all of these ways to have beautiful, incredible times in your life. Like, it wasn't the money, it was the people, it was the speeches. It was, you know, the coming together. It was the celebration.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah. In the end, it is. It's all trash. But I think to your point, like, if you can find a way around it, you know, and like, make it work to who you are and what you're looking for, I mean, that's obviously still super privileged, but, like, if you have the ability, like, that's sweet.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Is that it? Is that it's like, it's privilege to get married. It's a privilege to celebrate love. And also people are settling into the privilege. Is that because that your previous point? What is your. What is your evidence for, like, people are settling?

[Greta Johnson]

I think in General, societally, to especially be an older woman who's single is like, people assume there's something wrong with you still. I think that is still like pretty real. I think the idea is that you're supposed to find your person and if you haven't, then there's probably something wrong. And so I do think a lot of women marry shitty dudes because then they can check off the boxes and they've done the thing and like they're off the hook for being held accountable for like figuring out how to be a single woman in the world.

[Chelsea Devontez]

You know, I, I agree with everything except the last sentence of like, if society is going to judge you for something being wrong with you, are you to be held accountable for that? To be a single woman, is it on you to learn to live in a culture that's being shitty to you or. You know what I mean?

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah, and I think it does depend. I mean I have plenty of friends who are never going to get married and don't have a problem with that. But I think, and I think it's probably like, I think it's generationally very different too. But I do think, I do think there's just so much pressure still. I do agree with that to, to meet those landmarks, you know, and I think a lot of it is to your point, like there aren't many others that exist anymore. And so, yeah, what's wrong with you if you haven't done this stuff? I think does still exist. And I think that sucks, you know. And so I'm always really excited to see people who do rent out a venue for their 40th birthday party or whatever, you know, because. And like the girls weekends and the, whatever it's like, yeah, like I don't know, I think there's also, you know, the idea that you couldn't like wear the dress that you think is amazing and spent a bunch of money on, on not your wedding, you know, it's like you don't get to have that unless you find a person is also just like kind of a bummer, you know? Well, and also patriarchy, right? I mean you think about like, yes, I know there are like plenty of fresh takes on weddings these days. But in the end it's like, you know, you're, in most instances it's like your father is handing you off to your, you know, at least in heteronormative marriages it's like, like it's so hard to extricate that from a modern day wedding. Still, I think cost, I guess is what I, you know, always on the.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Brink of quitting, being a wr and becoming a wedding consultant. Every day of my life, I'm like, I feel like I should become a wedding consultant because weddings have not changed since olden times. The conditions, the setups, everything.

[Greta Johnson]

Yes.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Love has changed. Love has changed. Why have weddings not caught up with love? Because you know who walked me down the aisle? Greta. Myself. I walked myself down the aisle.

[Greta Johnson]

See? Yeah, like fuck yeah, you did.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And why is that, everyone? Because I don't have a dad. I don't have a dad. So, like, you can do whatever you want.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And I just, I want people to hold on to ceremony.

[Greta Johnson]

I. Yes. Ritual. And I love that. But it's also like you got to do whatever you wanted because you were using your own money. I mean, that's the other piece to a lot of this. Right. Is that often if it is a bride's parents who are footing the bill, then all of a sudden it is about who they want to invite and how many people are going to be. You know, like, I think that is still not uncommon. Is for the actual bride to feel like she actually doesn't have that much of a say because her parents are, you know, they're in charge.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Actually, I think that's right. And to which I say take the power back. If someone got on Venmo and said Venmo me for my wedding so my bitch ass patriarchal parents don't get a say, I would say, Here's $20.

[Greta Johnson]

Yes, I would. Right now. I would. I would help pay for that. Yes. I think that's, it's like, yes, if my Venmoing you can help subvert some of like really toxic systems. I'm all in.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yes, yes. But if my Venmo is upholding the norms where you're going to go to Bachelor in Nashville and ruins, you're fine. You don't need to. Woman named Greta's night as she is trying to read a book solo and have a nice glass of wine. Then I don't want to participate in. In the vodka soda that sends you over the topic.

[Greta Johnson]

Good. So we found consensus.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Okay, let's do the click lit quiz. There are three questions. The first question is, was the article well written?

[Greta Johnson]

I don't know about that.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Tell me.

[Greta Johnson]

I would say take it or leave it. I don't know. I mean, with the cut, I feel like you always have to be like, is are they going for clickbait or is this a valid trend? And I do think in this instance, it's A valid trend, but I. I don't know. I think partly it's probably my, like, nonprofit media journalism training, but, you know, it's like, is the. Is the writer of the article too much of a character in this piece? And I think the answer might be yes in this instance.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I think I would agree with you. And I think, like, technically, yes. Writing great. I think not bringing in the idea of this digital extension of shit that already exists. Again, like, the money, like, feels like we've missed a step. Like, it's not fundraising entirely. It is something part of larger wedding culture. I think that was the miss for me. Okay, second question. Did reading this article make you want to scream about it to someone?

[Greta Johnson]

I mean.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yes.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah. And that person was you. So it worked out great.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Thank God we scheduled this. I'm also a yes. I'm also a yes. Final question. Did reading this article deepen your thinking on the subject?

[Greta Johnson]

I think so, yes. And I think also, I mean, by extension, talking to you about it has.

[Chelsea Devontez]

I love how much credit I'm getting in this.

[Greta Johnson]

Well, I think, like, you know, it's one. Like, to articulate your frustrations or hesitations about something, I think is always really helpful, and this has been a great opportunity to do that. So, yes, I love that.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And thank you. Thank you. It feels like advertising for our viral article series. Yeah, I'm. I am also a yes, because I think my instant instinct would have been like, oh, gross. You have a QR code of Venmo the bride. Like, bleh. Like, this is everything I hate over it. But on second thought, I was like, no, I actually don't hate that. I hate a lot of other things about it, but that exact practice, like, I don't. I don't hate it.

[Greta Johnson]

Yeah, no, I mean, I do think, like, especially, you know, as the world is ending and everything like, this does seem pretty benign.

[Chelsea Devontez]

It also feels like why I wanted to do this because you might be invited to a wedding. You might be going to a wedding. You might be having a wedding, and we deserve to be mad about something small while we ignore some of the bigger things in back.

[Greta Johnson]

Exactly.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Okay, and now, final question that I came up with. And definitely not. Our producer, Christina. This is definitely not Christina. It was all me. Has this changed your mind or thinking around you having a bachelorette party?

[Greta Johnson]

It's such a good question. I think kind of, but also probably. I think I still wouldn't call it a bachelorette party.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Okay, listen, this episode has to keep going. I did this, too, Greta. I was just like you. I said, I'm not having bridesmaids. Maids. Like, that's disgusting.

[Greta Johnson]

My favorite.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And then you go through it and you're like, these are just friends. Women who have helped me through everything in life and happen to be helping me again as I go through this event. They are bridesmaids. It's what it is. It's what it is. You are not better or above it by refusing the word that describes exactly what's happening.

[Greta Johnson]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so that means it's an automatic, like, 50% upcharge on everything, too.

[Chelsea Devontez]

No, you don't tell it that, people. Come on.

[Greta Johnson]

Okay, I'm gonna keep thinking about that one. But you're right. I'm probably gonna succumb. Let's be honest.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Yes. Yes. I ruined Greta. Greta, thank you so much for coming on. Tell everyone where to support your substack, because you're not gonna ask for a drink, but they can. They can get great writing and perhaps give you money and where to listen to your podcast.

[Greta Johnson]

So the podcast. So the substack is called Gretagram. And. And yes, as we have discussed, I have Nerdette. I'm still not quite sure what I'm actually gonna do with it, but I'm really excited to figure that out. So, like, stay tuned.

[Chelsea Devontez]

This is huge to get that.

[Greta Johnson]

It's huge. It's huge. Yes. Yes. It's really exciting. I should have a fucking party for that, man.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Wait a minute. Yeah, sorry.

[Greta Johnson]

Right.

[Chelsea Devontez]

Come on. This is a huge thing, and I gotta tell you, a party with some pictures, which I don't think you'll take, but if you invite me, I'll take them. Great branding. Let everyone know that. Nerdette. Okay.

[Greta Johnson]

So true.

[Chelsea Devontez]

A huge thank you to our podcast producer, Christina Lopez, our executive producer, Jordan Moncada, our sound engineer, Marcus Hamm, and our amazing associate producer, Jaron Padre. I also want to let you know that if you love audiobooks, but you want to support independent bookstores, go to Libro fm, where it is easy to download audiobook books and support local bookshops. And right now, you get two Libro FM audiobooks for the price of one with your first month of membership using code TRASH. That's right, TRASH. T R A S H. Two audiobooks for the price of 1 at Libro FM. And if you have questions, go to the Patreon Chat Lounge and I will see you there. Get more than you expect with the five dollar meal deal. Part of new McValue 5 gets you a McDouble or McChicken and a small.

[Greta Johnson]

Fry and a small drink.

[Chelsea Devontez]

And a four piece McNuggets.

[Greta Johnson]

Woo. New McValue at McDonald's. Prices of participation may vary.

[Chelsea Devontez]

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[Greta Johnson]

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[Chelsea Devontez]

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[Greta Johnson]

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