Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast
Episode: Viral Article Book Club: When Parenthood Changes Friendships
Host: Chelsea Devantez
Guest: Nora McInerney
Release Date: March 18, 2025
Introduction
In this episode of Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast, host Chelsea Devantez teams up with returning guest Nora McInerney to delve into a viral article from The Cut titled "My friends abandoned me when they had Kids" by Emily Gould. Transitioning from celebrity memoirs to contemporary social dilemmas, Chelsea and Nora explore the intricate dynamics of friendships altered by parenthood, offering personal insights and critical analysis of the advice provided.
Recap of the Viral Article
Chelsea introduces the episode by summarizing the article addressed to Emily Gould. The letter, penned by an anonymous 31-year-old woman, expresses feelings of isolation and abandonment as her friends transition into marriage and motherhood. She laments being the "last single girl on earth," feeling sidelined at social gatherings, and yearning to preserve her friendships despite the evolving life stages.
Notable Quote:
"The stakes have ratcheted up significantly this year. I'm 31, so my friends have been settling down, getting married and buying houses for years at this point."
— Anonymous Letter Writer [02:16]
Discussion of Emily Gould's Advice
Emily Gould's response offers pragmatic yet controversial advice:
- Be the Supportive Friend: Drop by with beverages and snacks, engage in brief pleasant conversation, and then give space.
- Prioritize Friendships: Select one or two key friendships to focus on, allowing others to fade naturally.
- Integrate into Their Lives: Bring thoughtful gifts for the children, join family activities, and adapt to the new normal.
- Avoid Solely Single Rooms: Surround yourself with other single individuals to foster supportive relationships.
Chelsea and Nora dissect these recommendations, debating their effectiveness and sensitivity.
Notable Quotes:
_"This won't last forever. It'll be about five years, by which time you may have embarked on a new stage of life on your own."
— Emily Gould [04:51]
"The advice is like, here's how you be a good friend when you've had kids into your life and your brain feels different."
— Chelsea Devantez [11:15]
Personal Experiences of Chelsea and Nora
Chelsea shares her personal struggles with maintaining friendships as her friends enter different life stages. She recounts painful moments where significant life events, like childbirth, created rifts in her relationships, emphasizing the emotional toll of such transitions.
Nora relates by discussing her own experiences with singleness and motherhood. She highlights the societal pressures women face and the internal conflicts arising from changing personal identities.
Notable Quote:
_"I don't think of motherhood as a hierarchy within, you know, womanhood or personhood. It's a choice. It's not a better choice than any other."
— Nora McInerney [16:23]
Evaluation of the Article ('Article Test')
Chelsea introduces the "Article Test," a segment where they evaluate the effectiveness and impact of the article through targeted questions. They assess whether the article was well-written, evoked strong emotions, and contributed meaningfully to the discourse on friendships and parenthood.
Notable Quotes:
"For me, yes, I was enraged. This is a yes for me. I said, how dare you call these friends good friends to this woman?"
— **Chelsea Devantez [28:47]
"It's hard to elevate the discourse when the discourse is so angry."
— **Nora McInerney [29:27]
Handling Social Situations and Friendships
The conversation shifts to practical strategies for navigating social gatherings as a single individual amidst partnered friends. Chelsea and Nora discuss boundaries, communication strategies, and the importance of mutual understanding in sustaining friendships despite divergent life choices.
They emphasize the necessity of direct conversations to express feelings and needs, fostering an environment where both parties can feel acknowledged and valued.
Notable Quotes:
_"Have a direct conversation with the people that you want to stay connected with. Where you say, this is how I feel. Can you tell me how you feel?"
— Nora McInerney [15:58]
"If you're in a room that makes you feel bad, don't be in it."
— **Chelsea Devantez [22:37]
Conclusion and Takeaways
Chelsea and Nora wrap up the episode by reiterating the complexities of maintaining friendships through life transitions. They advocate for empathy, open communication, and the recognition that friendships evolve. The host underscores the importance of valuing friendships irrespective of differing life choices, encouraging listeners to seek connections that honor their individual experiences.
Notable Quotes:
"I love you, and I think you're doing a great job. And I don't think that anyone, who has kids or is married is, like, any better than you or any more, like, worthy."
— **Nora McInerney [32:26]
_"It's a phase of your life that you should be enjoying to the fullest, especially if you have a plan to have kids later on."
— Emily Gould [07:00]
Final Thoughts
This episode of Glamorous Trash offers a heartfelt exploration of how parenthood can reshape friendships. Through candid discussions and personal anecdotes, Chelsea and Nora provide listeners with both solidarity and actionable advice for navigating these transformative life stages.
Connect with the Hosts:
Support the Podcast:
Visit Patreon Chat Lounge to join the conversation and support future episodes.