Coming to Our Censorship | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings | EP 308

Summary

Good For You with Whitney Cummings

Episode 308: Coming to Our Censorship
Release Date: September 29, 2025
Guests/Co-Hosts: Pat, Chris Cole (brief segment)

---

Episode Overview

This episode finds Whitney Cummings in a reflective, story-driven mood, using industry tales and topical events to dissect themes of workplace dysfunction, performative generosity, and, most of all, the chaos of public discourse and censorship in media. Whitney unpacks the recent "Kimmel situation" (a media censorship controversy involving Jimmy Kimmel and political backlash), using her comedy-world experience to highlight how narratives are hijacked, how echo chambers distort facts, and how everyone seems compelled to have a hot take ASAP—often, she argues, to everyone’s detriment.

With Pat as her conversational foil (and a cameo mock-impression by Chris Cole), Whitney scrutinizes the urge to speak before knowing, algorithmic bubble-living, and the shifting ground of "free speech" in TV and the internet era—riffing the whole way in her irreverent, rapid-fire comedic style.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy Industry Anecdotes: Power, Manipulation, and “Generosity”

[00:28–12:27]

• Whitney opens with a tongue-in-cheek meditation on being “too busy,” segueing into a darkly funny account of working under a sadistic showrunner. She unpacks how such people feign generosity (coffee, cupcakes) as a manipulative power move and how cruelty is masked by performative kindness.
• The tale of the "cupcake boss" becomes a metaphor: bringing fewer cupcakes than there are people, making a spectacle of the gesture, then snatching one for himself—highlighting the toxic office culture in TV writing rooms.
  • “This is, you know when you go to a therapist and there’s toys on the table... that was a test.” (Whitney, 01:20)
  • “He comes in, six cupcakes for seven people... turning it into the Hunger Games instantly.” (Whitney, 08:19)
  • “Couldn’t just let us have it. And if you don’t think I spent the day tracking if he ate the whole thing...” (Whitney, 10:40)
• Takeaway: Authority figures often mix manipulation with scapegoating and “breadcrumbing,” leading to a traumatizing or confusing work environment.

---

2. The Madness of Modern Takes: Why Whitney Refuses to Rush

[12:49–20:38]

• Whitney discusses being intentionally “late” to weigh in on current events—especially regarding the Kimmel situation. She contrasts her approach ("late and right") with the impulsive urge to have instant hot takes online.
  • “My brand is late and right instead of early and wrong.” (Whitney, 13:29)
• She mocks how rapidly news and misinformation cycle now, comparing it to buying cheap appliances repeatedly when you should just invest in quality: “I’m the $60 coffee maker. I’m gonna work, okay? You can go get your cheap takes and have them not work.” ([13:36])
• Whitney is skeptical of those insisting on free speech in the workplace: “Nobody has free speech at work. Nobody. What are you talking about?” (Whitney, 19:45)
• Ties this to larger anxiety patterns in the culture: “We have an anxiety issue in America, and I think it’s because people who aren’t in the comedy business are yelling about fascism before the HR issue is even resolved.” (Whitney, 20:13)

---

3. Echo Chambers, Censorship, and the Jimmy Kimmel Fiasco

[20:38–46:32]

• Whitney unpacks the Kimmel story—his temporary "cancellation" after making inaccurate or politically contentious remarks—and the online demand for instant commentary.
  • “If I’m not saying anything, it is because... I know more than you and I know what’s happening isn’t real. It’s a psyop. It’s going to be reversed.” (Whitney, 25:12)
• She pokes fun at the performative activism of quickly trying to “bring Kimmel back” to network TV, noting that forcing him back may inadvertently muzzle him more than firing him, since new media is less restricted.
  • “If he had been fired permanently, he would have gone to YouTube and had a podcast and had way bigger numbers... So it seems like the very people that thought they were supporting him were like, go back to network TV... [and] that’s actually silencing him.” (Whitney, 32:46)
• She gives insider context on how restrictive network TV actually is, from lawyers weighing in on scripts to the FCC.
  • “...There’s things you can’t say... We want to use an NFL jersey, they had to read the script. I mean, I couldn’t use my real name on my TV show...” (Whitney, 33:47)
• She elevates the absurdity of how people consume and demand “truth” and instant opinions: “Now every time you look at your phone, there’s a new war happening... Imagine the way we get news today would be like 30 years ago if someone just every 10 minutes, like, handed you a new newspaper. How mental that would seem.” (Whitney, 27:37)

---

4. Algorithms, Information Bubbles, and Accidental Lies

[46:32–54:06]

• Whitney ponders whether Kimmel and others could accidentally spread misinformation, given that algorithms feed people radically different “realities.”
  • “Is it possible that now in the future, people could lie by accident because they were lied to and can't get out of their algorithm?” (Whitney, 48:30)
• Pat and Whitney riff on echo chambers and self-reinforcing news environments as dangerous—even among major media professionals.
  • “If you already have a bias, you’re going to find things that support it. And you’re like, yes, perfect.” (Whitney, 49:22)
• This leads to the idea that truth itself has become so fractured it’s hard to know what can be verified, and harmful groupthink is the result.

---

5. The Weaponization of Gotchas, Parasites, and Censorship’s Double-Edge

[54:06–58:17]

• Whitney, ever the standup, turns the conversation to the culture of “waiting for people to mess up” just to pounce—a pattern she aligns with narcissistic or “malignant cluster B” tendencies in internet culture.
  • “Now the left and the right... are waiting like gargoyles for the other side to mess up so they can get a point... it’s a malignant cluster B narcissist move.” (Whitney, 55:38)
• She analogizes this “gotcha” culture to sabotaging accomplishment and urges listeners to avoid being “parasites.”

---

6. Society, AI, and the Nature of Free Speech

[58:17–62:15]

• In a looser, offbeat coda, Whitney and Pat riff on the emerging trend of threatening AI bots to get better answers, raising questions about the future of personality, privacy, and the blackmail potential of big data.
  • “If you threaten [AI], you get a better answer... The people that studied this are sick and should be in jail, but if it’s true, that’s pretty fascinating.” (Whitney, 58:18)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Work Culture:
  • “He comes in, six cupcakes for seven people... turning it into the Hunger Games instantly.” (Whitney, 08:18)
  • “Couldn’t just let us have it. And if you don’t think I spent the day tracking if he ate the whole thing...” (Whitney, 10:40)
• On the rush to comment:
  • “My brand is late and right instead of early and wrong.” (Whitney, 13:29)
  • “Nobody has free speech at work. Nobody. What are you talking about?” (Whitney, 19:45)
• On social media churn:
  • “Imagine the way we get news today would be like 30 years ago if someone just every 10 minutes, like, handed you a new newspaper. How mental that would seem.” (Whitney, 27:37)
• On the Kimmel controversy:
  • “If he had been fired permanently, he would have gone to YouTube ...way bigger numbers... So it seems like the very people that thought they were supporting him—‘go back to network TV’—that’s actually silencing him.” (Whitney, 32:46)
• On algorithms and accidental lies:
  • “Is it possible that now in the future, people could lie by accident because they were lied to and can’t get out of their algorithm?” (Whitney, 48:30)
• On the culture of “gotcha”:
  • “...now the left and the right... are waiting like gargoyles for the other side to mess up so they can get a point... it’s a malignant cluster B narcissist move.” (Whitney, 55:38)
• On threatening AI for better answers:
  • “If you threaten [AI], you get a better answer... The people that studied this are sick and should be in jail, but if it’s true, that’s pretty fascinating.” (Whitney, 58:18)
  • “Are you a bad person if you threaten a phone?” (Whitney, 59:21)

---

Important Timestamps & Segments

• 00:28–12:27 – Hollywood/Comedy industry stories: toxic work, sadistic bosses, cupcakes as power move
• 13:29–20:38 – Whitney’s “late and right” policy: why she doesn’t rush to comment on controversies
• 20:39–46:32 – Dissecting the Kimmel controversy, network TV restrictions, the echo chamber problem
• 46:32–54:06 – Accidental lies via algorithm, the impossibility of universal truth in the digital age
• 54:06–58:17 – Gotcha culture: society as narcissistic, adversarial, and obsessed with minor victories
• 58:17–62:15 – AI, digital blackmail, and the dystopian future of personality surveillance

---

Tone & Style

Whitney’s tone is classically irreverent, self-aware, and rapid-fire, with cynical humor masking deep critiques of social and media systems. There’s frequent use of sarcastic exaggeration, comedic analogies, and the conversational informality typical of her standup voice. The conversation with Pat keeps things grounded and provides the straight-man “reality check” to some of Whitney’s bolder flights.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

What’s unique about this episode: Whitney shuns any urge for instant reaction, offering a passionate (and funny) critique of America’s “hot take” industrial complex, while supplying rare insights from a TV insider’s experience. The episode is part cautionary tale, part industry roast, and part cultural diagnosis—blending stories of toxic bosses and industry “breadcrumbing” with a sharp analysis of online echo chambers, the real mechanisms of TV censorship, and a warning about how digital culture is turning everyone into amateur prosecutors and premature experts.

If you want to sound smart at parties or get a real sense of what goes on behind the scenes in comedy and network television, this is a must-listen. Whitney’s advice: Slow down, get out of your algorithm, and don’t take the bait.

---

Transcript

[Whitney Cummings]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

Should I start this podcast with ditties? Like little ditties, not like jingles. Jingles. What's a fable? What's like a story that's a little like an anecdote? Anecdote. Anecdote. Okay. So I just have been so grateful for how hard Pat has been working. There's so much stuff going on. I'm a very busy person and I'm very successful and lots going on and I'm all over the place. A lot of moving parts of moving parts. And refused to hire anyone else that can function like a human. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to get pack coffee today. Coffee, apple, watch. I got breakfast burrito, blueberry scone. And I feel like, you know, I'm eating these.

[Pat]

I don't want to touch them.

[Whitney Cummings]

I don't.

[Pat]

Not until you leave the country.

[Whitney Cummings]

I feel like I touch that burrito. It's already a. Like, that is the most Machiavellian, like, oh, you're just going to eat it. Okay. No, that's fine. It's like, truly, this is, you know when you go to a therapist and there's like toys on the table and when you pick one up, they, like, scribble something down and you're like, that was a test.

[Pat]

I feel like, did you see Pan's Labyrinth?

[Whitney Cummings]

No.

[Pat]

You know the, the creature with the eyeballs on the palms of its hands.

[Whitney Cummings]

Is this one of those, like, you kind of had to be there things?

[Pat]

I'm going to play the cl. It's a very important scene.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, that's clear. So for all the virgins watching the show, we will show a clip from Pants Labyrinth about the eyeball hand. I'm like, okay. Meanwhile, I have three or four custom made eyeballs in pots from the movie Labyrinth.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'm like, all right, dork. All right, dork.

[Pat]

Oh, from a fantasy movie.

[Whitney Cummings]

Okay. I may or may not have a be on a first name basis with someone on Etsy who makes me custom eyeball plants from the movie Labyrinth and have them in a glass case by my bed. So I used to work on a show, comedy show, where the boss was so mean isn't even the word. It was strategically sadistic. Like, it's really hard to explain the way that it just triggered this. Like, daddy, Daddy. Like, grown men would be like, are you mad at me? Like, it would turn. This man would turn. Grown men, like, they'd show up with their baseball mitt. Like, can we. Can you just throw me one ball, Daddy? It's like this. It was. He wouldn't let anyone unionize. I remember everyone was unionizing. He wouldn't let us unionize. He would turn people against each other. If someone did a. Like didn't turn in good jokes, he would then take them to lunch and be like, you're doing such a great. Like, it was just like a. Like no one knew how to make him happy. And he knew exactly how to. He also threw a stapler at someone who had a hook hand. So the point is, this person I'm obsessed with what happens when a psychopath tries to be like, generous and they're like doing an impression of generosity, but they don't know how to stick the landing on it. So we had a brutal couple weeks. We were like shooting something. It was like down to the wire. A lot of moving, very high stakes situation. And we're all like changing things at the last minute going crazy and so stressed out had been because he wouldn't approve things. And in order to get something past him, you'd have to trick him into thinking it was his idea. And so you couldn't just submit the good idea.

[Pat]

Former actor. Are they a former actor?

[Whitney Cummings]

No. Because he couldn't pretend like he liked people. And that's a big part of acting, you know.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

Also didn't look great in makeup. Maybe that was his narcissistic wound. It was like. It was some. Something bad happened as a kid. There was like a tractor accident and it was his fault. So something like he was the goalie. This is why I think goalie is. He was like the goalie in the soccer game and he missed the ball.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

You know?

[Pat]

Yeah. Now he's the goalie for jokes.

[Whitney Cummings]

Hockey, goalie, something. He's got some kind of being that sadistic, like getting off on other people feeling bad when this person doesn't. Can't write a joke, but would say like, nah, nah. It's like you just read it. Let's wait till a funny person says it. It's just give us a. So you would have to give the not funny version and then try to figure out a way to plant the funny version. Then get him to say it. And you'd be like, let's do that. He'd Be like, that's genius. Like, yeah, we already have that written down. It's already in the prompter. But okay. It was exhausting. And he kind of was able to. What's the word when you keep going. I don't. I. I wouldn't know what this is.

[Pat]

Persevere.

[Whitney Cummings]

Persevere or relentless. What is it when you're like. Because you're. You always hear when someone really gross. You're like, but they're. They were so nice.

[Pat]

You always hear breadcrumbing.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yes, breadcrumbing. But like, you know when it's like someone commits him with the Pismo Beach Killer, all the neighbors are like, he's. He was such a nice, normal guy. Yeah. Gilgo Beach.

[Pat]

Sorry, Pismo Beach.

[Whitney Cummings]

What's Pizz? That's in Florida.

[Pat]

That's Bakersfields. Malibu. Pismo Beach.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, there's definitely a murderer there too. Let's be honest. He's just hasn't gotten caught yet because I'm not looking. Yeah, they're not. They're not looking. They're like, let them give him some Adderall. No, they're like, yeah, we'll give him some stimulants so he can take care of our rat problem. Or when I want to murder loose over there, they're like, yeah, just. Let's give him a couple more.

[Pat]

Get a badge, actually.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm obsessed with. When someone is doing something bad, they know they have to really be nice in other ways. We always talk about this, right? The person that's, like, running the charity is always like, let me see your hard drive right now. Let me sing the ring cam footage at your house. And so he. That was it. The Gilgo Beach Killer. Remember? All the neighbors were like, he's such a nice guy. Yeah. If you're killing Craigslist trollops by day, you're gonna be nice to your neighbors.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

If you're not, you're like, hi. If you have some. You know, because you're like, I better be nice to these people.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

You know, you go out of your way to be way too nice. Have you ever seen someone on the news be like, yeah, I thought he weird.

[Pat]

Seemed like you needed to get something out of his system.

[Whitney Cummings]

Bad tipper. You know what? He was a litter bug. They're always like, nicest guy, super normal, super helpful. Would help me into my house with the trash. Yeah. He was scouting your home to see if the carpet was white or not, you know, but. So one time he came in, there was like, seven or eight writers. I think it was seven or eight. And then, like, a couple, like, floating ones that were coming out. We had to work so fast and so hard. The time crunch is, like, insane. There's a very small chance we're going to make this deadline because he keeps changing stuff the last minute. And we are running on, you know, an hour sleep. People like this, they decide to be generous when it's inconvenient for everyone. Like, this is when he decides. So he comes in with cupcakes and he's like. Wants to come in and, like, do what I did this morning. But, like, I want to thank you guys for your hard work. And we're like, we have to. If we don't turn this in in five minutes, you're gonna fire us. Can you please stop giving us cupcakes? Right. Comes in. Six cupcakes for seven people.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

A clever trap turning it into the Hunger Games instantly. Yeah, right? Comes in. There's a big spe that whenever psychopaths or borderlines are cluster be they're generous, they have to make a whole thing of it. You know, I went down to the cupcake place. You know, there's a cupcake. There's this new. They have to, like, turn it into. I didn't know if it was gonna be open. You know, I had to get them by nine and, you know, so I called. I called the night before to see if they were gonna be open the next day. And I was like, what if they don't have the lemon? So I wanted to go early. So I had to wait in line to get these cut. And you're just like, your assistant got the cupcake. What are we doing? What is all this rigmarole? It's like, thank you so much. Thank you for all, like, it. It's. I'm a martyr.

[Pat]

And then if you don't make the deadline, he'll be like, we had time for a cupcake.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, this is what I'm saying. So we're all like, we want the cupcake so bad. You know what I mean? But we're all like, if we eat the cupcake, we're not going to get these jokes on and that. It was just that. But he's going on and on, and I'm giving you these cupcakes. We're like, you have to just buy into it. You have to be like, I cannot believe you made time to get us. Like, thank you so much, like, for the diabetes. Like, none of us have health insurance. I mean, literally, this is your, like, get poisoning us with giving us cupcakes. And like, can we get like a salad? Can you get like smoothies or something? Like none of us have had a nutrient in truly two months. And he puts the cupcakes down. He's like. And this is, you know, this is the Oreo one. It's got Oreo. It's got an actual Oreo inside. Really? Thank you so much. And peanut butter. It's got a recipe on the top is not great. They only have one left. But I got it. I convinced that you know. And you're like, thank you. What would we all you're is. And then he walks out. He's. All right. I'll leave you as if. Again, thank you for leaving us be while we're scrambling to rewrite this entire script. Because you tore it apart. Yeah, exactly. So like, I'll get out of your hair.

[Pat]

I like this guy.

[Whitney Cummings]

Don't. I don't want to. I don't want to slow you down. You guys might be tired. We're like, yeah, yeah. We all are. Just like. So walks towards the door, turns around, looks at the board we're writing on whatever it is, comes over, grabs a cupcake and leaves.

[Pat]

And you said he couldn't write jokes. Hilarious.

[Whitney Cummings]

So true. Couldn't just let us have it. And if you don't think I spent the day tracking if he ate the whole thing. The I. I would go to the bathroom. I'm like, did he. The system. Like, did he eat the cupcake? Like, did he just take a bite? Or is he like. He's like. She was like it's sitting on his desk. He didn't. I don't even think he ate it. Like I, I stalked the cupcake that it was just. I can't let you have it.

[Pat]

I can see how it works. If he's evaluating a bunch of hard working writers writing joke after joke after joke and he's got to shoot him down and shoot him down and shoot him down. He's just got to write one good joke per event.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Which is this cupcake joke. That's the funniest joke of the whole show.

[Whitney Cummings]

But it's not the funniest. People aren't trying to be funny always.

[Pat]

He's marking his territory doing that.

[Whitney Cummings]

This is a person that went to bed going, I cannot believe they are writing these awful jokes. I got them. I got eight people five cupcakes. And this is how I pay them. $800 a week.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

And they. I let them sleep at the office. His mind is Like, I let them sleep here.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

And it takes them till two in the morning.

[Pat]

I'm. I'm boarding these people.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, literally, he's like. And I get the notes back at 4am I turn them around so that they can address them at four after they go to bed at two. So they. And you're like that. Those kind of people, every horrible thing they do, they think is like. Like God's gift.

[Pat]

Yeah. They engaged.

[Whitney Cummings]

I let. Yeah. Maybe. You know what? Maybe we're gonna do, like, Hollywood story time at the beginning of every episode. Sociopath story time. Anyone? Anyone? Brought to you by Whitney Cummings. Kids gather around the fireplace. Yeah.

[Pat]

Basket back there.

[Whitney Cummings]

Because it's like, we do talk about the, like, Cosby and people like that, like, commit crimes, but there's so many people that are just like, monsters where it's not a crime.

[Pat]

Unknown. Cosby's.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Where their abuses are just like, sleep depriving you under the guise of, like, we're making art.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

You know, and, like, laughter is the best medicine. Like, we are curing cancer. You know, like, we are generally speaking. Welcome to the program, everybody. Thank you for your patience as we keep coming in hot a week after the. I am glad I am not weighing in on these wild events the second they are happening. Okay. I am always a week behind because every time I record the podcast, truly, the next day, something, frankly, that will be in history books happens. Like its own chapter in a history book.

[Pat]

Yeah. And you just took a big, deep breath after delivering your take on last week.

[Whitney Cummings]

But this is God protecting me from doing an hour take on something way too soon. All right. You know, but I'll get to it. I'm going to get to it. Okay, Go, go, go. Immerse yourself in all the bad takes with all the typos. Go. And then when you're ready, you'll cut. This is like. What's an example? Hmm? Hmm? What's the thing that you, like, buy? You buy the cheap one. You buy the cheap one. Coffee makers. Yeah. This one's 18 bucks. And you buy three a year that are 18 bucks. Just buy the one that's 60 bucks first. I'm the $60 coffee maker. I'm gonna work. Okay? You can go get your cheap takes and have them not work. Have them not hit. Okay? You know me. My brand is late and right instead of early and wrong. Okay. Weighing in early on. I'm kind of at this point, it's a little pick me. It's a little desperate. I'm not gonna jump into the slop of madness and elbow my way through the muck to jam my take into your life. How would. How could anyone have a take? The day something happens, you get your info. Okay, you got your information about the Kimmel thing from your aunt on Facebook. Five minutes later, you're going to blast out a tweet to your co workers that your boss is going to see.

[Pat]

Did you run to a payphone?

[Whitney Cummings]

Do you know how lucky I am that I have had five days to think about this Kimmel thing and didn't weigh in before he got back on the air like he was back on last night? I. I knew something was fishy. If I'm not saying something. There's something fishy if my Tourette's and inability to shut my pie hole show like, is thwarted by there's something up. I knew it wasn't going to take for sure. I knew there was just something off about it. I knew they would never really cancel his show because I knew that the administration is. They know you can't have a platform that was about jobs and then fire 200 people because you didn't like what they said. Because there's 200 people that work on that show. Like the chess of it all, I knew you couldn't. And also because I was on Roseanne and the rough, rough part was like, oh, it wasn't just her. It was the 200 other people that were working there just lost their jobs.

[Pat]

You know, the union jobs on that show could have. The union could have gotten involved and said, well, your network doesn't have any shows now.

[Whitney Cummings]

Would they have had to pay the employees out? Because now maybe all of the people on the show were like, ah, we could have had three months paid leave maybe.

[Pat]

I don't know if they would have had to strike to make their point.

[Whitney Cummings]

Look, here's the thing. I knew that this was never gonna take because nobody, no matter how much money you have, no matter how powerful you have, nobody wants famous people to be mad at them. They can't handle it. It's high school. It's all the cool. Remember when your principal, like, kind of wanted the quarterback to like him? And you're like, what are you doing? Are you giving your running back special treatment? He's 17. You. We. You just invited him and his friends to the ren fair with you. What are you doing? Why are you saying cool beans around the prom queen? You know, why are you talking to any of us? Like no one could. They couldn't. The people at the top couldn't handle Zendaya being mad at them. They couldn't. Even the biggest corporation can't handle it. BlackRock would shut down if they thought Sydney Sweeney made fun of them. They wouldn't be able to. Like, these corporations are still run by nerds who want to date the cheerleader. Once they found out that Zendaya and Sofia Vargara were mad at them, they're like, guys, we're so sorry. Because in their heads they can still like marry these women. And their heads they're in their starter marriage with their starter kids.

[Pat]

She's even mad at me in my head.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's like these, these women are still on the menu in their delusional minds. So like I can't, I mean, this is my, you know, this is my next wife and I can't be the guy that cancel Kimmel because of the thing now.

[Pat]

It's definitely not going to happen because.

[Whitney Cummings]

Then they won't talk to me at the, you know, on the yacht when I kidnap them. This show is sponsored by better help. October 10th is World Mental Health Day. And this year Better Help is saying thank you to therapists. Behind every mental health journey, there are people who showed up, listened and helped somebody take a step forward from the right question at the right time to a safe space to cry. Sorry, I'm just not going to make any jokes about what people have had to do to be for me, with me, at me to get my mental health in order. Therapists make life changing moments possible is what they do. BetterHelp has been connecting people with licensed therapists for more than 12 years. A step a year. With over 30, 000 therapists and more than 5 million people served worldwide, they know how to help you find the right match. The matching process is quick, thoughtful. If you don't love your first therapist switch anytime this World Mental Health Day, join me in appreciating the people who help us through life's challenges. Our listeners get 10 off their first [e-mail] Whitney that's better. H E L P.com Whitney and if you're wondering like do I need it? You need it. You need it. This episode is brought to you by Home Chef. The days are getting shorter. Is that true? When is daylight savings? Is that it?

[Pat]

I think the 20. I think it's the 21st.

[Whitney Cummings]

I thought we were canceling daylight savings. The point is Home Chef guys because they deliver fresh pre proportioned ingredients and easy to follow recipes that make mealtime stress free, Home Chef is rated number one by meal kit Users for quality, convenience, value, taste, and recipe ease. With over 30 meals to choose from each week, including oven ready trays, quick microwave options. You get it, you get it. There's always something that fits your schedule. I just. Look, I have a 20 month old. I don't have to tell you. I can't. We're not. We're not doing chicken cordon bleu over here. These days. I am no longer preparing the five course meals I used to. I don't have that kind of time. They have a five ingredient meal. That's it. That's all he needs. That's enough. He eats half of it anyway. We're not doing. We're not doing this right. So thank you, Home Chef, for keeping my child alive. Home Chef is offering my listeners 50 that's wild percent off. Free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life wild. Go to homechef.com Whitney that's homechef.com Whitney. I don't weigh in until. I'm not going to weigh in anymore until the dust settles, all right? And because of that, I do believe I deserve some kind of award. I mean, I frankly like the fact that I'm the person that can bite my tongue at this point is pretty shocking to me. But just to watch all the piranhas come out with their takes and just bombing, bombing, bombing with their takes, bombing. Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel's first amendment rights have been violated. They violate his free speech. Nobody has free speech at work. Nobody. What are you talking about? I floated that idea on threads and I had to delete it pretty fast. I was like, what? No one on threads works? So they were confused. They all work from home, so they were very confused about what I was saying.

[Pat]

This doesn't make sense alongside what I imagine working is like.

[Whitney Cummings]

I know they're like, wait a second, but I'm a poet. I can say whatever I want in my apartment. Like, it didn't land on threads. There was a lot of like, that's true. But you can't say whatever you want at work. That's different. Like, you just can't. We know this. We know this is true. And I think we forget that Jimmy Kimmel show. It is a job. It is a workplace. You cannot do that. He. As soon as he walks off that set, he can't say, hey, babe. When I was on a network show, I could. I got in trouble for saying Merry Christmas to an intern. She wanted me to say happy Holidays. Like, you can't. There's things you can't say that. Have nothing to do with Trump in this super sensitive situation. Okay. Also, if you listen to me, you are. Congratulations. You're a very patient person who doesn't want to jump into the lake. Melee of chaos. Those. I think we are seeing these anxiety addicts do that. Right? We have an anxiety issue in America, and I think it's because people who aren't in the comedy business are yelling about fascism before the HR issue is even resolved. These are people that last a minute in bed. Can I say it? They pre. They're premature on everything. These are the same people who take Jello out early because they wait for the Jello to be done. Okay. They're the people that eat Hot Pockets that are still cold inside. They're like, it's. It's not. Put it back in. We're not doing lukewarm, not well thought out takes. These are the people who don't return their grocery carts because they're like, too busy. Do you need more time? If you can't. Why for. Yes. If you don't have the time to write out, Yes. I need you to just not respond to me at all, okay? Because I. You're making me feel like I'm some dictator that's in response right now, even though you're driving with three kids in the car. Okay? These are drug addicts for takes. I'm not. I'm not going to be your dealer. I'm not going to get involved in your dopamine receptor disaster. I'm not going to call Pat as soon as Jimmy Kimmel gets suspended and go, hey, Pat, fire up the megaphone. We need to record a podcast. They need us. Kimmel's been pulled from the schedule. Wake up. Leave your kids at home. Get over here. People are holding their breath waiting for me to talk about a talk show. We need talk shows to talk about talk shows. Can everyone shut up? Like, we're literally at the level of meta where we can't even see that. You're like, what talk show is going to talk about the talk show? That's been kind of. That I'm going to do now. I'm going to talk about the talk show and get demonetized and kicked out of the algorithm. I was violated for my free speech because I was talking about Jimmy being violated from his free speech. This level of circle jerk here is really just too much for even me. And here's what bothers me about it, because I was getting a lot of messages and tweets and stuff that were like, how come you're. Hello. Your silence is deafening. Didn't weigh in on the Kimmel thing. You want me to weigh in right away so you can catch me making a mistake? You want to catch me saying something misinformed? You want me to talk too early? There's. There's no way anyone has the information yet, me included. And I know the sit. I know. I know the situation better than most people. Like, I would know how all that went down. They're like, you've not weighed in. You're suspiciously quiet. MAGA Pipeline. What? You. No, you want me to weigh in so that now before anyone has information, so that you can accuse me of spreading misinformation later? I know what you're doing because I've done it. No. Yeah. No, no. I'm kind of at the point. I don't know why it was the Kimmel thing where I was like, I think we should have to fill out an application to be able to give an opinion on the Internet. But here's my thing. Comedians. And let's get to our takes later. You guys. You. You do it. It's like when a heckler at a show is, like, yelling and trying to be funny. And it's like, take as long as you need. You have to let it be the audience's idea to go back to you. You know, I can't just be like, shut up. I'm doing a show. It's like, no, let's. Maybe you're better at this than me. Go. Let's try it. And then it's like, cool. Can I. Can I go? Can I? Was it working? It was kind of better when I was doing it.

[Pat]

Right.

[Whitney Cummings]

I think we can all agree, but you can't say that first. Or you're just like a bully silencing people. Left. Go. You know what? Go for it. All right? Everyone's like, I got. Got away. Like, everyone needs to know what I have to say, which I actually. I don't think comedians and people that are in this business or whatever do have the clearest perspective all the time. So, like, you guys go first. Like, you go first, and then we'll sort of assess what you guys think and go from there. Right? I don't know how you manage to get this takeout. You're at work, maybe finish teaching your fifth grade class, then pop out into your influencing video on Jimmy Kimmel's rights. Like, how did you even see this? I know Jimmy Kimmel, and I didn't even have the story yet. I'm like, in this business, I actually know a lot about that. I'm like, how did you guys get this so fast? Like, how are we. It's just you. There's no way you have all the information. And look, if I'm not saying anything, it is because this is going to sound arrogant. I know more than you and I know this. What's happening isn't real. It's a psyop. It's a. It's. It's going to be reversed. It's a. It's a. Whatever. I mean, honestly, it truly is the green phallic object of the wnba. Whatever public is over there at Disney is hats off, ears off. I love that this podcast just turned into me saying I'm right. I would like to just recap all the times I've been right this week. Which, by the way, I need to stop saying that because anyone who's trying to make an argument that I'm right wing is just going to cut all those together. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. See, she's right. Ring. I knew it. Right ring. Right ring. Nope, I have no rings. No rings. Chris Cole. No rings. Just a reminder. Everyone, listen to me. This is my. What's the word? Big theme of the week. I need everyone to slow down. And I know I'm not that person. I'm usually like, let's go. Speed up, speed up. And people like, Whitney, why do you interrupt people? Because everyone's moving too slow. We're dying. Let's go. Pull it together. Anxiety is good, but not now. Now I think we all need to slow down because our news cycle isn't, you know, people like, it's the 24 hour news cycle. 24. That implies that every 24 hours you get a new piece of news. That would be a dream. Can you imagine getting the news every 24 hours? And then social media was just your friends or whatever. And then it's like, oh, 7pm now it's gonna be news. And you're like, you know how relaxing that would be? Now every time you look at your phone, there's a new war happening. Like, wait, hold on. What a war? Wait, I just. I just went to spin class, I came out and we don't have fertilizer anymore from Russia. What? I go to one nail appointment and come back, all of a sudden I need to learn how to pickle food and figure out how to seal it without bacteria getting in. It's like, before phones, we got a brand new newspaper. Like, okay, I love doing. I Love being like, what would this look like, you know, 30 years ago or whatever. Like, imagine the way we get news today would be like 30 years ago if someone just every 10 minutes, like, handed you a new newspaper. How mental that would seem. Imagine going. Or imagine going to the newspaper stand every 10 minutes. Or like the. The newspaper kid coming by.

[Pat]

Every 10 minutes, a carrier pigeon flies in the window and you're in like a tornado of pigeons in your mental.

[Whitney Cummings]

I think the bigger thing is I don't like how we're all finding out things at different times. And the people that know the most are who, Pat?

[Pat]

The people not saying anything?

[Whitney Cummings]

Probably not only that. Oh, by the way, can I play this to you real quick? I would like to stop and do a quick insert of Chris Cobra Cole doing an impression of me hosting the podcast. Can you be me today, Chris?

[Chris Cole]

Yeah, I'll be you. Let me put this here.

[Whitney Cummings]

Shalom.

[Chris Cole]

You folks know I love a murky scam, folks. But, Pat, can you guess what bee in my bonnet is today? No.

[Pat]

You got the mad libs.

[Chris Cole]

How's that? Do it.

[Whitney Cummings]

Can you do an ad, Reed?

[Chris Cole]

Oh, yeah. Oh, man. What's my ad for?

[Whitney Cummings]

Bluetooth?

[Pat]

Come on.

[Whitney Cummings]

Collagen. Hair strengthener.

[Chris Cole]

Oh, yeah. People always ask me, whimmy, how do you get your hair so luxurious? And I'm like, oh, my God. Thank you, guys. My baby ate my hairline. Baby ate my hairline. But I'm getting it back. Okay, with. What's it called?

[Whitney Cummings]

Nutrafol.

[Chris Cole]

With. With Nutrafol, daily dosage can be sent easily to your house in weekly packets or monthly packets, whichever you prefer. How am I doing?

[Whitney Cummings]

A monster. It only takes one person to mock you to see how I go. Like, Pat, guess what I'm thinking. What a dork. Sorry about that. So the point is, I'm not going to do that anymore. It's like a weird pop quiz to see how well you know me and, like, no one. Because this is a trick. It's actually a trick question. Question. It's so weird. Anyway, I have a half a cupcake for you downstairs. The people that know the most about the news right now are addicts. As someone who identifies as one. Addicts. Addicts were supposed to know the least. That's how this was supposed to work. Addicts were supposed to be delusional and out of touch with reality and never know what was going on except their dealer's new pager number or what time the bar opens. Now addicts know the most. Your craziest friend who is sober Off a substance. I can't even say on this podcast knows all the news. And your sanest friend is like, what? Jimmy Kimmel got canceled. When the most together people, you know, with self control are the dumbest, and the addicts with no self control know the most. This is a problem. Nobody healthy is online all day, so the unhealthiest people have the most information. We're in the underworld and I need you to understand. Whatever horror wizard orchestrated this, we're gonna have to. If I'm in Silicon Valley and like, if. Pitching an app idea, think about your. Your app idea. Like if you were right now able to invent something, mine would be, hey, I have an app or thing where everyone learns about something at the same time, right? We're all learning about things. Am I making sense?

[Pat]

Well, that's what the. The. All the robots are doing that now.

[Whitney Cummings]

Because I'm like, I. By the time the Jimmy Kimmel thing happened, by the time I find out about it, there are already two murals in LA canonizing him as the new leader of the free world. I was like, why is Jimmy Kimmel on the side of this apartment building? Someone had gone out, gotten paid, the whole thing. I need a minute. Once I hear something, I need to process it. I still haven't even gotten to the Trump pee tape. What happened to that? That was like seven years ago. What happened to the Coldplay cheating guy? Did we get a notes apology? Like, I. I can't move this fast. And you know what? I don't think you want me to. I think only the weirdos do. Whose kink is watching people scramble? And you're not my. You're not my guys. You're not my demo. So I do feel like I have context for the Kimmel thing for anyone that wants to just, like, fight about it. If you want to sound smart at parties, I can help you. Shall we just start with Whitney's Dorky Network TV School Episode 1, Class 101? How does school work now? Classes in session, the people online that are upset being like, network TV is over. It's over. It's all about the streamers and podcasts and the Internet. But now they're like, get Jimmy Kimmel back on network tv. Honestly, at this point, if you're trying to harm someone, you help them. I don't. I don't know when this started. It used to be, you harm someone, you harm someone. If you want to fight to get Jimmy Kimmel back on, which is what happened, that's actually silencing him. If he had been fired permanently. He would have gone to YouTube and had a podcast and had way bigger numbers and reached way more people. So it seems like the very people that thought they were the supporting him were like, go back to network tv where you still aren't allowed to say certain things and you can't even hug anyone at work and people can see it on planes. Maybe him getting fired and getting off of a network TV talk show, that would have been amplifying him, putting him back on is silencing him at this point. All right, so point is, when I did a TV show sitcom thing, not only could you not say something that wasn't crazy, fact checked. There's certain things you can't say that aren't even. You can't say, Jesus, you can't say, God, you can't hold up a bag of potato chips. That isn't a real brand. There's things you can't. We want to use an NFL jersey. I mean, they had to read the script. It was. I mean, I couldn't use my real name on my TV show in case I wanted to sue the network for portraying a character that was me. So there's a reason that Rogan and Dave Smith and Schultz, Tim Pool. I don't know. Who are these people? Like, they, they like them or not. They dominate the conversation. But the left tends to be so like, Daddy, Daddy, love me, like, I want to be on the network thing it's about. So they, for some reason stay on. What? I mean, why are we going on npr? What's happening? Like, is this like a make a wish thing? What are we doing? All right, look, could Schultz and, you know, could they all use a lawyer from time to time? Probably. Probably. But I think everything is going to be extreme until it settles in the middle, and then another platform is going to emerge with even freer speech. It's whack. A molecular, you know, I'm saying, but if you're on tv, that you're getting that kind of money and have commercials, you're going to get notes from lawyers. It's called the Federal Communications Commission. It's federal. It's federal. Part of why you get so much money is the deal is that you. You get to make the ha ha's, but S and P gets to come in and say, can you have say jerk? Can you say dingbat? And you're like, sure, I'll say dingbat. No one will ever respect me again. And every time I close my eyes on my eyelids, I will see the word Dingbat and Reddit just trashing me for not being funny. Even though jerk would have been funny if you're still overpaying for wireless. What the heck? What's with that? What gives? It's time to say yes to saying no. At Bit Mobile, their favorite word is no. These are my kind of people. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no bs, no tomfoolery, no boo hickey. I made the switch because I was tired of paying way too much for wireless. It is ridiculous.

[Pat]

It's like hundreds of dollars.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's silly goose time. Like, what are we doing? It's like when a hotel lobby tries to charge you $40 for Wi Fi or like, or a plane. You're like, let's not. Yeah, let's be.

[Pat]

It's up and running whether I'm using it.

[Whitney Cummings]

I know what you're doing and honestly, if I were you, I would do the same thing. Thing. But we got a. We got to. We're in an impasse here. All Mint plans come with high speed data, unlimited talking text, and they've delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can even keep your own phone and number. No thank you. Along with your contacts. No thanks. I'd like to start fresh. Honestly, the quality of the. When someone calls you, you pick up the phone. This is, this is a very simple business plan. The fact that Mint Mobile had to just come in and be like, hey, our phones work. And you're. It's not like a gym membership where you can like never get out of it the rest of your life. Very simple, non sociopathic way to go about business. Ready to say yes to saying no. Make the [e-mail] Whitney that's mint mobile.com Whitney this segment is sponsored by Jones Road Beauty. Before I found Jones Road Beauty, I was a mess. I mean I was a clown. I had clown lungs. My makeup routine felt heavy, complicated, time consuming. I mean I had to go down to Sherwin Williams and get the shellac and I had to get the caulk and the grout. Now I'm obsessed with their. It's called Miracle Bomb. It just like, I can't explain it. It makes you look like a hot alien. It's like you use it as a blush, as a bronzer, as a lip tint highlighter. It gives you that like, it looks like your skin. It doesn't. You know, when you look at someone, you're just like, you're. That looks great. You're just. You is a cake Are you a dolphin? I think that. I think that's what is a cake came from. They just saw women who put on there. You're just like, oh, is that cake? This stuff is truly a miracle. They have a tinted moisturizer as well. Because I break out if I do a moisturizer and then like a little bit of concealer. So it's a. It's. Oh, God. It's just. It's like a hug for your face. It's like everyone asked me, how about this? This is. This is going to be my endorsement for Jones Road beauty products. Okay? I was on TikTok doing a video, and I was wearing the Miracle bomb, and I got flagged for being AI. That's it. So no phalates, no sulfates, no peg, no. All the chemicals in the chemicals. It's a miracle. You should get it. It's right there in the name. For a limited time, our listeners are going to get a free full gloss with their first purchase when they use Code Whitney at checkout. Just head to Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code Whitney. Imagine if I came to your work and was like, oh, you're a school teacher and you all just sleep with your students. You'd be like, no, we don't know that woman. We don't know her. She was like a substitute teacher in Idaho. We're in. What, like, when people say stuff about the TV business, really, I know this free speech is being violated on network tv. It's like, you know, not like you don't know what you're. What you're talking about network tv. It's, it's. The whole point is you can watch it with your family, you can turn it on. It's like you get the seal of sanitary diapers, can advertise. It's like wholesome. They're going, this is the stamp of wholesome. It's where you go when you're like, I want my kids and my parents and my grandparents to all be in one room, and no one's going to fight. Network TV is so trusted and sanitary and protected by the FCC that Bill Cosby was able to get away with what he got away with because he was on network tv. And they're like, well, he's on network tv. They've got lawyers, they've got federal. They've got. There's no way he could be. Yeah, he plays the gynecologist in his show out of his basement. But, like, it's network. They must have vetted all this because that's how hardcore it was a network. Nothing slides at a network. Network tv, it was like the last unifying thing we had. It's on in break rooms. It's on in the, the, you know, at tsa. It's on at the vet's office at the pediatric. It could just be on and no one has to worry about it. That's the whole thing about network tv. So that was the last thing you can just like have on anywhere. It was Jeopardy, Right? No, I don't mean the news. That is what the news should be called at this point. America Jeopardy. Or like other network shows that every generation can watch, right? Like who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Well, everyone. But no one gets to be one anymore. That show right now would be immediately canceled because it'd be misinformation. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I'd be like, well, that's a misinformation. It's not possible. You're spreading misinformation. Network shows are different. You know this. I'm not defending it. I'm not saying, you know, it's mainstream stuff. It's like contests with music. What's the name the shows like the. About the kids performing America's got Tide Pods. Whatever the show, it's that network TV requires you to turn in what you're gonna say. Lawyers have to read it like the Simpsons. Remember the Simpsons 20 years ago said Donald Trump would be president? I thought they'd get a violation from the FCC for that, but it was true. And they all. Seems like they all knew that on the Simpsons 20 years ago. Somehow network TV is so neurotic. Shows like ER and House, they have an onset real doctor to make sure that what the fake doctors say is correct. How? Why? This is how either dumb they think we are or how dumb people actually are. We have to make sure that they said oxybiazitine instead of oxybiazitin or 19 people will have collapsed lungs in Denver. Like, they, they have to take it. So you have a real ER doctor who could be saving people's lives for real in the fake ER set hovering around the show with people playing make believe because if they describe a procedure wrong, it could botch the operation of the people copying them in their real basements. They have real doctors consult on fake doctor shows. They're like, this is how you would put a needle in. And they have to, I've done it. You have to, like, get it right. You have to say it right. Why? Why? Why? Why? He's pretending to be a Doctor, we all know this. I think we should make doctor shows less real so there's zero confusion. It should be like, I'm about to put an indoor needle in you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So the people, like, no.

[Pat]

Like, I have no idea how that's done. I'm not gonna try it.

[Whitney Cummings]

You should make it obviously crazy so that there's no. Like, we don't. Why do we bring real doctors? Why are we. Who cares? Now we know. This is an actor.

[Pat]

You're educating people just enough to get them in serious trouble.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yes. Pat always comes in and says the thing. Now it's like, they should be like, now we do the surgery on your pancreas with a pickaxe.

[Pat]

I've seen this a million times.

[Whitney Cummings]

No one's gonna be like, wait, what? This is fake. Like, why even try to get it right? That. See, this is why comedians aren't in jail for lying. We exaggerate. That's our thing. We tell the truth by exaggerating. Right. I'm not. I'm not defending Kimmel's. That setup with the. With the Maga thing. It's more. We say things that aren't true, that are true, but with a sentence that isn't true because it's so hyperbolic. Right? And then someone's like, yeah, well, not everyone did this. And you're like, nope. Dork. Dork.

[Pat]

The exception proves the rule.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, exactly. Interesting. But also, it's like, you know, see, this is. This is what's happening again. Remember when we had reading groups as kids? Red, Blue and Gold? We never should have hung out. Now we're all hanging out. Like, all the groups are mixing. So we know it's not everyone. We, like. We know everyone's on Twitter. Well, not everyone. No, I know. I'm just. You know what I mean? This is actually my biggest pet peeve right now. People who know what you mean, but they just want to argue. It's someone who intentionally goes out of their way to disagree on, like, a formality for no reason. And the girl is in the sketch, and she's talking to, like, her friend who's like, this person who's like, oh, so you're gonna go to yoga this afternoon? And she's like, well, no, it's not this afternoon. It's at 5 o'. Clock. So technically it's not this afternoon, but yeah. And you're like, cool. Who are these people? Like, they're everywhere. They're everywhere. Okay. I, like, I'm obsessed. So those are the people that Are online, getting in the weeds on stuff.

[Pat]

All right, points on the board.

[Whitney Cummings]

Points on the board, you win. And by the way, always going to yoga. They're always on their way to yoga, those people. They're like, no, not to be. Actually, that's not exactly true, but okay, I'm gonna go to yoga because I am grounded. I believe I do have one take on Kimmel that might be helpful. It is going to make people want to fight with me. Fine. But I think it's an interesting angle that I haven't heard. First of all, we waited for his comeback episode. Watch it last night. You know, I wish he had been a little braver, but because that was it, I think, I guess he had to play it a little bit safe and make sure that he, like, honored, you know, the deceased's wife. You know, I'm sure he played it right for him. And I would just be like, release the list. Release the list. Release. Like, I would have been like, well, now I need to get fired. I saw all these opportunities on my horizon those last two days. Why did I get so many congratulations texts?

[Pat]

My. My only take on the whole situation is it was not to the same extent of, like, crazy violence, all that stuff, but it was sort of a mirrored version of the celebrations the week before were being had. Just right on the opposite front.

[Whitney Cummings]

Right.

[Pat]

About that.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Meanwhile, in both cases, you're like, you're celebrating the thing that's gonna happen to you in six months.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, that's it.

[Pat]

Hey, yeah, let's censor him, because that'll never come around for us.

[Whitney Cummings]

If you censor someone you don't like, the person you do like is next. I think the people who were so, like, gung ho supporting Kimmel, these are the same people that, before this happened, if I would, like, post about Kimmel or being on Kimmel, they'll be like, you know, he got big on a show called the man show where women were jumping on trampolines. Right. When TV was tv, you know, the glory days. You know, the same people.

[Pat]

When people are still selling records.

[Whitney Cummings]

Sure. So here's what I do think is worth thinking about not excusing anyone's behavior. I can never know someone's intentions. Who cares? But the point is, what if the thing that he said was inaccurate? It seems that setup. It was inaccurate. Right. I don't think anyone in his position would lie on purpose, because I did. Don't. I think he knows he wouldn't get away with it. So question, is it possible that he thought it was True. He's been so. He's so anti Trump, anti. For so long. My concern of what if he believed this to be true? Because he's in an office that is very left. They all get the same news. They're all in the same algorithm. What if there was, like, legitimately convincing, quote, proof of what he said because we're all in these echo chambers and he thought it was true? I'm sure there are plenty of videos that you can find that are convincing proof of what he said. Like, we don't watch the news anymore. We don't look at the news. We look at evidence for something we already believe.

[Pat]

I mean, it's. It's hard to figure out what exactly he said that they're quoting, which is why they took him off the air to begin with.

[Whitney Cummings]

They didn't find any. Well, what if in everybody's algorithm, they're like, oh, yeah, this is. Some influencer is saying that this is true and this is true? Like, is it possible that now in the future, people could lie by accident because they were lied to and can't get out of their algorithm? There's people I know that I'm friends with, people on all kinds of sides. And remember when I was doing the joke about Kamala Harris and all those speeches where she seemed kind of inebriated and I was doing, like, a joke about it, like, maybe this is what America needs. Like, what's more terrifying than a drunk woman with no kids? Like, an alcoholic woman with no kids, like, she's just going to call up Putin and be like, hey, like, maybe this is. And I went to half the people I know never saw the videos. It was all over my feed, all over my feet. So I'm not saying anything that anyone deserves. I'm just this obviously seeming. I don't know if it's intentional, but we are in two realities.

[Pat]

We're in, like a. A hundred thousand different reality, but there's.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, this by totally binary realities. I think everyone that works on his show is in their reality. And what if they believed that to actually be true?

[Pat]

Yeah, well, yeah, the. The show has an echo chamber. It's living in an echo chamber.

[Whitney Cummings]

People were mad at me after the fires because there was the. There was a lesbian firefighter who said, I like to hire people like me. And I was like, I just made the joke. Like, wouldn't that be because that's her dating pool. Wouldn't that be like a straight guy going like, I want to hire some women? I made a point. That's A pretty good point. And everyone's like, you're saying that lesbians caused the fire? I'm like, huh? I don't. Okay. But I'm just. I saw that, and I was like, we can't find the video. I'm like, okay, then Google look for it if it's not in your feed. Delivered to you, your highness. But I saw it. It's in mine. You know, I don't know. I, I. Is the moon fully hollow? According to my algorithm, it is. I actually can't get a video debunking this even if I tried. I've tried. I can't. I can't break through the algorithm. I can't get out of my echo chamber. It's like a gym membership. It's harder to get out of your algorithm than LA Fitness at this point. They just. That's the deal. It doesn't seem true. But I'm sure the people at Jimmy's office were in their algorithm and finding stuff to support that. If you already have a bias, you're going to find things that support it. And you're like, yes, perfect. You know, so should have happened. Whatever. I mean, I don't. I'm sure that that office, like, they haven't even seen the Jared Leto stuff. I truly believe at this point, the only news is Hollow Earth and raccoons being friends with elephants. That's, like, all I see. I could not get something true about politics on my phone. If I got a new phone, a new phone number, a new identity, faked my death, and then got a Dell, I can't get out of here. I don't think he would have thought he could get away with it if he was intentionally misrepresenting it.

[Pat]

You know, we thought it was funny.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, right.

[Pat]

He might have just thought it was.

[Whitney Cummings]

Funny, but that was the setup. The joke was the video of Trump saying, like, look at my yard construction. Yeah, look at my construction. But the setup was, it seemed like a MAGA family or something like that, which I'm sure there was something that they all saw.

[Pat]

The setup was. It's been a. It's been a week of the. Right. Pretending that the shooter was anything but one of them.

[Whitney Cummings]

And what I'll say is, like, whatever. He said, Trump getting involved is very goofy. Did he get. Yeah, I mean, he's definitely tweeted and stuff. Here's the thing. If you get involved, it makes you seem like this person is an actual threat to you.

[Pat]

He's been on Twitter for decades.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And the button. He was Pushing to send tweets before is now a much more powerful button. And he doesn't even have to tweet anymore. He just hits the button.

[Whitney Cummings]

Are they at that administration? We're keeping him off the nuke button. Just keep him on Twitter.

[Pat]

Give this person problems.

[Whitney Cummings]

I just. For a politician at any point to be like, hey, hey, this isn't true. This is where we draw the line. This is where we start wanting. Prioritizing a president, a politician being like, hey, hey, hey. That's not the truth. Imagine a politician thinking they have anything to say about the truth at any.

[Pat]

Like, if you're in charge of the world and you spend even a second thinking about a talk show host. Yeah, you're wasting everybody's time.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's correct. Also, for a politician to come in at the president to be like, that wasn't true what the host said. If you are at all concerned with the truth, don't go after the host of the show, Kimmel. Go after the guests. All the. The professional liars. They're all actors. They lie for a living as their job. And they put us through sitting there being like, yeah, me and Robert Patterson got along great. We know that's not true. We had so much fun on set. Like, it's a show where liars lie. Every time I've ever been on Jimmy Kimmel, I have lied. Yes, it was to myself. But let's not pretend comedy isn't one big exaggeration and biased premise after another. The audacity to say something isn't true is so brazen at this point. Even when people think they know what's true, they're lying. And then they have plenty of evidence to show their lie is true. That's the problem. I'm just saying that's. That's. I'm concerned that even when people tell the truth or think they're telling the truth, they're lying by accident. I'm not saying that's what happened here, but this is like, what scares me. And very few things scare me besides jellyfish and Lyme disease. Truly the only two things. We need to adopt the logic of all crazy, jealous girlfriends in their 20s everywhere. Before we attack someone, we have to say, let me see your phone so that I can go through all your news apps and your X algorithm, see who you follow. See and see if you've been lied to first. And then I'll either go, wait, you follow Jessica Yellen and Michael Shellenberger and all these. These people, the ap, whatever.

[Pat]

I follow crazy left people and Crazy sides.

[Whitney Cummings]

So you're. You're doing the best. You know what? I'm not gonna fight with you today.

[Pat]

Because I like to see how far they go.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's. So Let me see your phone. Okay.

[Pat]

I smell your phone.

[Whitney Cummings]

Or if you give it to me, or if you give it to me, and I'm like, you follow stand up comedians. Like, you know what? How could you have known what the truth was? But if I see that phone, I go, you should have known better. But it's like, oh, look, you get all your. Let me go to your saved. Oh, it's all memes. It's all. You get your news from memes and Eagles fans Twitter feeds. You didn't mean to lie. You were lied to. You know, you did the best you could with the information you had, which was, before you attack someone, now just say, show me your phone. Also, if someone's wrong, everyone else will handle it for you. For Trump to be like, let me get involved. It's like, let your. Like, let your minions do it. Be a little regal for you to even care. What Kimmel said is so embarrassing. Like, what do we. Don't cancel Jimmy Kimmel. Cancel the people on the Epstein list. I don't know. People are like, jimmy Kimmel had low numbers. Okay, Then he was gonna get canceled anyway. Why even get involved? It is so beneath the government to even get involved in something like this. Like, you're not Star magazine.

[Pat]

The Donald Trump I know would have said, never heard of him. For Donald Trump to go to a press conference and for somebody to say, are you responsible for getting rid of Jimmy Kimmel? The real Donald Trump would have said, who's Jimmy Kimball? Who's Jeremy Kimmel?

[Whitney Cummings]

Do that. But all this attention he gave to it made him look guilty and obsessed and like, crazed or something, you know? And this is what I really don't like from all the people getting involved that are like, attacking Kimmel f if he has low ratings, he's going to get canceled. Like, just let it. Let it happen. Why even involve yourself? I don't like when people want to win on a technicality or wait for someone to make a mistake. I played basketball. You know that I'm still a basketball player at heart, first and foremost, at my future career and still my plan A. And I would rather lose if it was on the basis of another. The team making a mistake. All right? I want to win when the other team's at their best. If a girl tripped and fell and I just got to run away with the ball I'd be like, no, no. Because I will always have to live with the fact that I only won because she made a mistake. I don't. I don't want it. I'll always know why we won. Now the left and the right. They're waiting like gargoyles for the other side to mess up so they can get a point. We swar vultures for our enemy to mess up. It's like, this is a malignant cluster. Be narcissist. Move. I am not a doctor, but I have spent way more time with these people than any doctor or psychiatrist. They provoke you and provoke you until you've had enough. And then you snap back and they're like, whoa, why are you yelling? You're like, no. You've been biting at my achilles heel for 13 years and I finally kicked you off. But parasites have a platform now. And I always thought, I always thought as like a woman in business. I always get asked to, like, give advice on this panel. I always just pictured myself giving advice. Like, spend two hours a day writing and wake up early before anyone and, you know, make a vision board. Now I'm just like, don't be a parasite. Don't post text messages with your ex boyfriend. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss. I miss talking about Labubus. I miss that being the biggest story. How did you guys make me miss talking about Labubus or miss talking? I. I would like to go back to kids cheating to get into usc. I never thought I'd miss talking about Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez outfits as being too close to each other outfits. This is because I really do have stuff to talk about. And here's the thing. I next week do feel like I want to get back to just like, bigger conversations, bigger topics that aren't so timely. I guess I get addicty and like, I have to talk about the thing everybody is talking about but a week late. So next week I'm excited to get back to our plan, which is talking about bigger things because, like, I. Oh, my God, I got so obsessed. Next week I want to talk about this. Did you know in order to get a good answer from AI, if you threaten it, you get a better answer. You know about this, like, obsessed. If you say, like, I'm going to murder you if you don't get me the truth, they give you a better answer.

[Pat]

That's a trap.

[Whitney Cummings]

Isn't that wild? In a recent study, researchers found that threatening an LLM while asking a question can improve the quality of the Responses by up to 36%. Here's what I'll say. The people that studied this are sick and should be in jail. But if it's true, that's pretty fascinating.

[Pat]

You're. You're being advised to get it to work better, but you're being tricked.

[Whitney Cummings]

Is it like when you do that with a person, they just give you the wrong answer faster because they're scared you.

[Pat]

You have to have an account to use a lot of the AI stuff, unless you run it locally, and then even then, you're still tied to it somehow.

[Whitney Cummings]

But does that mean the AI is capable of fear?

[Pat]

Well, it's capable of recording what kind of a person you are for years and years. And then when they start. When they start handing out diagnosis, I'm.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, hey, guys, threaten your AI. You won't lose custody of your kids in 10 years at all.

[Pat]

I wouldn't be surprised if an AI wrote that article saying, go ahead and mess with me if you've got the.

[Whitney Cummings]

But also, you can't. It's not punishable to threaten pixels.

[Pat]

Yeah, but maybe it's just not going to work.

[Whitney Cummings]

Are you a bad person if you threaten a phone?

[Pat]

Like the government's trying to kick Jimmy Kimmel off the air because of what he's saying. Right. You won't even know if AI is kicking you off the grid because it's just going to. You've been classified as not friendly, and it's just not going to play ball with you anymore. Like, anything you can imagine that it's keeping track of and acting on in the future, it's going to be able to do it.

[Whitney Cummings]

To have like a blackmail. It's like Epstein with just your personality.

[Pat]

Like. Like the kids that are doing online gaming, and they're from 8 years old until they're 24, acting like absolute garbage, and then they apply for a job after college, and big corporations are pulling up Xbox chats.

[Whitney Cummings]

But you can't say that a kid is accountable for what they say when they're. I mean, it's like saying no.

[Pat]

They're just. You just don't get a job interview.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, because you can't. The whole thing is like, they're not able to consent to things. You know, also their. Their children. They're going to say stupid things.

[Pat]

There's people that. That.

[Whitney Cummings]

How about you go look at what my kid is saying online? We need to put their parents in therapy.

[Pat]

The humans in HR are doing that right now that are working for these corporations because they don't want to promote somebody through the ranks, and then 14 years from now, their vice president is exposed for being racist for 15 years.

[Whitney Cummings]

But also, talking online is more profitable than any job that they would interview for.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Whitney Cummings]

So.

[Pat]

So there's your out. Yeah. Lean into it. I guess.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, I'm. I was. I've been doing this since I was eight. Like, I'm the Tiger woods of talking smack.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

And they get to become, you know, wealthy. Yeah.

[Pat]

Doing that.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. By the way, I wish I had done that earlier. I wouldn't be in this jammer. I'm like two people like me. You guys mad? Okay. Thank you, Pat. I am headed off to tour. I'm gonna be in Toronto, two shows. Baltimore. And then I'm gonna go to Philly and Reading and all kinds of places. Arkansas, let's go. Love you guys. Don't ride elephants.

Martha listens to her favorite band all the time in the car. Gym, even. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much, she got a seat close enough to actually see and hear them, sort of. You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you. More Expedia made to travel savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.