← Good For You with Whitney Cummings
Good For You with Whitney Cummings
Donkey Shoes | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings | EP 336
00:34:54
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- [00:00]
A
Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney. Let's go get ready for a new case.
- [00:05]
B
We're the greatest partners of all time. New friends Gary the Snake and your last name, the Snake Dream Team. Get new habitats. Zootopia has a secret reptile population.
- [00:14]
A
You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. Zootopia 2, now available on Disney. Rated PG. And right now you can get Disney and hulu for just $4.99 a month for three months with a special limited time offer. Ends March 24. After three months, Plan Auto renews at $12.99 a month. Terms apply. Spring Fest is happening now at Lowe's. Keep the spotlight on your yard with stay green premium 2 cubic foot mulch. 5 bags for $10. Plus, when you want more help indoors, get up to 40% off. Select major appliances that help you supercharge your chores. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's, valid through 422, while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowes.com for details. Moldchopper excludes Alaska and Haw. Not sure how to tackle your taxes? Are you sweating the small print? You may be experiencing FOMO, the fear of messing up the answer using TurboTax on Intuit credit Karma. They help you get your biggest refund, and then we help you do more with it with a personalized plan designed to help you hit your money goals. It's time to take your taxes to the max. Start filing today in the Credit Karma app.
- [01:30]
B
Hey, girl, you know what part of my job no one prepares you for? Waking up and pat. Just being in your house, just ready to go, and you're like, did you forget something last time you were here? Or what's do you need a place to stay?
- [01:50]
A
I live in the pool.
- [01:51]
B
A squatter in my home. And the best part about when I forget we're recording or I schedule my dyslexia. Do I even have dyslexia? Like, I mean, there's a point where
- [02:05]
A
there gotta be another name for what you have.
- [02:06]
B
It's got intentional dyslexia and the inability to be accountable for the. What? What do we had, 350 episodes? Like, the fact that I'm blindsided every week again, like, wait, whoa, guys, overkill. The best is like, I realize I'm the person I want to be. When I am trying to manage being late or missing something, I become like an amazing host. Like, is there anything you want to eat? Come look at the fish tank. We've got frogs in the fish tank. Let's go look at These frogs. Should we take. I'm Googling. Like, should we take. Should we pick them up? Do you want to hold a frog? I'm trying to entertain Pat to fix the damage that has been done from being an hour late.
- [02:57]
A
I'm surprised you don't have a collapsed submersible in your fish tank.
- [03:01]
B
Is the collapse. Oh, the. What was that called? Yeah, what was it called? The seaQuest. I guess I'm just realizing that human stupidity is so important to human intelligence. Like, what did the government get away with that week that we were all obsessed with the submersible imploding?
- [03:25]
A
I mean, they'll take any cover they can get.
- [03:27]
B
Is that how someone becomes a billionaire? They're like, we'll give you a billion dollars right now, but in 20 years, on August 13th, we're gonna need you to go down in a moon bounce down to the bottom of the ocean, and probably most likely perish because we are operating it from a Game Boy.
- [03:50]
A
We'll call you off the bench, but
- [03:52]
B
you'll be a billionaire till then.
- [03:53]
A
Yeah.
- [03:54]
B
Like, just the Darwinism of being rich is so fascinating to me. When I went to the Grand Tetons, which means big boobs, by the way. Fine. And we're mad at Disney's castles. And in Wyoming, everything you point to that's beautiful. There's this guide. I don't know if it's all of them, but the one that I had, I highly recommend, he will tell you who died on it. We were on the Snake river, whatever that river is, just doing, like, little tour. And I was like, oh, God, that's such a beautiful little. It was. It wasn't an island, but it was within the river. There was a. And I was like, should we go over there and just, like, you know, have a picnic, make content. Make content and make a boomerang? And he's like, oh, you know, I wouldn't go over there.
- [04:37]
A
We.
- [04:37]
B
We found a. We found a dead bear over there the other day. And I was like, oh, man. Oh. And everyone's like, ah. And then he, like, took a beat. This is like me. I was like, ah, you got something else, don't you? You have something else. Like, you gotta say it. You're gonna say it. So he's like, you know how moose kill bears? I was like, let's go. He goes, once they know they're being hunted or tracked, their behavior doesn't change at all. They'll just slowly graze up into an area where there's a cliff. This goes on over days Days, they don't let the bear know that they know. And then they get to the cliff, and they wait till the bear charges them, and then they just move out of the way and let the bear go wee. And if they don't have that opportunity, they don't have a cliff close by, for example. They will wait for the bear to charge them. They turn their caboose towards the bear, put their leg out, and the bear breaks its neck on its foot. So that's what happened in this particular instance. And it became the most important story of my life. Every I. Everything changed after that. I was like, I went from. I'm gonna seek justice out on this person, and they're gonna to, like, come at me. Come on. And at the last minute, like, donkey kick. Use their force against them.
- [05:58]
A
Judo.
- [05:59]
B
Yeah. You know, it's really. Sorry, I'm just all over the place today. Major stream of consciousness. I like when you're with someone who's your person. And I've thought people were my person before, but then when they would talk about exes, I would, like, get jealous or get like. Or just be like, you should be with her. Not even in a jealous way. Like, I'm pretty big on just going, like, if this bothers me about you, there's someone out there that it doesn't bother. And that person's perfect for you. I've never been like, you're a narcissist. And if you are the person I wrote in my journal I wanted when I was 12, you're mentally ill. Like, I'm always just like, there's someone out there who. The thing that annoys me the most about you will be their favorite thing. Go. Go find. There's a girl in a tube top somewhere with a Marilyn Monroe tattoo, hopefully. And a quote by Marilyn Monroe that she didn't. That wasn't her. That is on her rib cage that will think this is funny. You know, that you collect snakes or whatever. I actually love snakes. That you have ferrets, whatever. And so Chris said something that. My new favorite comedy is him explaining, like, how he tried to make relationships work before we started dating and, like, how he couldn't, like, or how something wouldn't work. And he's like, yeah, like, the things you. He makes shoes. You know, he has a shoe line from. Because he's a skateboarder. And so he's pretty snobby about shoes. Like, sometimes I'll wear shoes. And he's like, all right, Bargain bin. He's like, okay, okay. Dress barn. Like, he'll kind of just be like. Or he'll compliment my shoes. I'm like, oh, God, that's such a big deal. Because he, like, designs shoes. And I said. I was like, what do you do, like, when you've dated girls, like, and they just have just, like, a busted shoe game? Like, that's tricky. That's a tricky one. And he's like, oh, dude. He was like, it's the biggest thing. He's like, I'm not a buck guy. I'm not a boot. I'm a shoe guy. And there is this. He's like, there's this girl. And I just like, she's great, and she's so funny, and she's so cool. And she would just show up in these donkey shoes. Like, what is a donkey shoe? And it just. Maybe I'm saying, like, getting older, getting the therapy. You need to stop being crazy. Whatever it is. Like, there's so much comedy on the other side, because I realize, like, the guy I'm with kind of roasting someone, they. Something they couldn't get around with. An ex is an area I've never gotten to play around in because it's always been, like, too jealous and weird. Someone asked me the other day, like, what have you learned from having a kid? When you have a kid, you're going back to school because you're like, oh, right. I learned Columbus discovered America. What's this? My son and I are learning the everything now together at the same time. Because all these books are like, Leif Erickson, who discovered America? At this point, I don't know. Look, everything I learned has been debunked and proven to be untrue. So I'm actually learning. I'm like, oh, that's how that's pronounced. Wait, it's Chest of drawers. It's not Chester Drawers. I'm so. Wait. That's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile. So I'm learning the same things he's learning, quite frankly. But it is hard when your kid looks. Looks at a T. Rex and looks at you and you're like, yeah, I don't. If it falls, it can't get up. No one thinks, can it? Am I wrong?
- [09:28]
A
I've never seen one get up.
- [09:29]
B
They help each other. I think that's what the extinction was. I'm not saying these are dragons. Look more like they existed to me than dinosaurs. It's just weird because I'm trying to not lie to my kid. That's my main. I'm trying to not lie to my kid. And I guess the new thing is that dinosaurs had feathers. So they could have been. So I'm kind of going like, well, it could have been any color. And he's just like, can you make up your mind? I'm like, can they? Can they? Can you guys give parents and uncles and aunts the ability to raise kids without them? Without everything being Santa Claus? Like, it's just so. Because my thing is also this. I have this theme in my life of as someone who identifies as an addict myself, and there's. When it comes to dopamine, one too many, a million, not enough. Like, we're alligator. We've got dinosaurs. Are alligators not good enough for you? Like, those would be good. I'm good on those. Alligators never die. They will get so big that they just starve to death because they can't eat that much. They don't get cancer, none of that. Or they'll get shot in the head. Or, you know, an influencer will hit them with a, you know, Russian boat or something like that, you know. But there's things that are so crazy that are right here. And then I'm expected to explain to my. This other crazy thing. And I am obsessed with how we have like, normalized the wildest things. And what we need to be entertained is getting extreme pat. Let's go.
- [11:05]
A
Correct me, it's called negligible senescence. I liked mine better hardly aging physically.
- [11:13]
B
Hardly.
- [11:14]
A
Eventually they probably would, but there's so many things that'll kill em before they'll starve. You're right.
- [11:21]
B
Like, well, we would never know. Cause we would. By observing them, we would kill em.
- [11:25]
A
You would assign that to your grandchild.
- [11:28]
B
To follow up on the Greenland Shark. Is anyone. There's people that are like Margot Robbie and, you know, Jacob Elorda and Selena Gomez and Chapel. I'm like, the Greenland shark is the biggest celebrity.
- [11:42]
C
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- [12:21]
A
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- [12:43]
B
It's cozy season. And nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a Minky Couture blanket. Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made. From movie nights to chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort. Once you feel it, you'll understand why it's called the original. Best blanket ever. Visit minkycouture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet. Am I weird? I'm starting to think I'm weird. It's very weird where we draw the line. I'm fine. Everyone else seems to be freaking out. I got a solar generator. Is it a band aid on a, you know, oozing sore? Probably. I got a couple solar powered lanterns so I can just haunt my own house when things go sideways. Got a lot of pasta and rice.
- [13:41]
A
Okay.
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B
I got the, like a little mini WI fi thing in case, you know,
- [13:46]
A
so you can still tweet.
- [13:48]
B
Still gotta get case someone shows up at my house and wants to hang. Did you see that? I don't know if this is true or not, that in this current war, one side I'll just. I'm not gonna get specific, but you can guess. Did a long game of embedding dentists into the enemy and for 10 years, putting chips in their teeth to locate them. So look, did humanity just create its own extinction event? It's. It's possible. I think we are definitely the only species that build cages for ourselves. Like built a bomb to kill us. I don't feel like any other species is, like, creating environments conducive to their imminent extinction. But I took a couple days off from googling the sharks eating the WI FI cables down to the bottom of the ocean, and I think I deserve, frankly, a trophy for that. I was reading about the nuclear waste situation this week. No one cares about waste because you're like, it's over. Except Tony Hinchcliffe. That joke really was the. The. The waste joke heard around the world. The trash island or whatever. Dude, remember the movie Sex Lies? A videotape? Andie McDowell's character, she's in therapy saying, like, where does all the trash go. I don't know if I care about trash because of that movie. Who knows? But nuclear waste is a whole other can, dude. And I know you can't take this on, okay? But we should talk a little bit about nuclear waste management. Since I learned about this, I truly look like Steve Buscemi. I have not slept in weeks. You know how, like, you're lying in bed at, like, 2 in the morning and. And then you're, like, convinced you, like, left something? You're like. Or you leave your house and you're like, my curling irons on? Or, like, did I close the fridge door? Like, something like that. Imagine that feeling, all right? Instead of maybe, like, burning down your home. And the question is, like, did we dispose of radioactive material that stays deadly for 10,000 years properly? Oh, the guy that did it is. You know, he had a heart attack on a hike. Like, the last four guys that were responsible for that, like, whose job is it to dispose of this radioactive material? Like, I know. Like, why aren't guys only talking about this? I mean, I feel like that should be, like, the number one job requirement when you get hired to handle the nuclear waste is like, so do you think you'll forget about it? There's too much to take on. And I. I like to, on this podcast, take things off your plate you don't need to worry about and put things on your plate you should worry about. People are very obsessed with privacy. I get it. I cheated in my 20s. I Google things I'm not proud of. But, like, that ship just. It sailed. I don't know what to tell you. What's the worst case scenario here?
- [16:38]
A
You know, you could probably die within a month or so.
- [16:41]
B
Your offspring would be mutated, so it extends our life.
- [16:44]
A
Anybody who touches you after you're contaminated will probably get the same results.
- [16:48]
B
Yucca Mountain is a place. The government has spent over $15 billion of our money on a nuclear repository in Nevada. Always Nevada. Always. Where there's no water to put out a fire if one happened. Always Nevada. $15 billion. It's just a hole that doesn't exist. We've created the world's most expensive theoretical grave. It's like paying for a funeral for someone who's still alive, except that someone is. Radioactive waste. This is why we need longevity. You know, I'm always like, why do we need to live forever? There are certain people that need to stick the landing on the gig. There has to be, like, hey, you're responsible for this hole that we're digging. In Nevada, which may or may not have been for this nuclear waste. Let's be honest. I'm sure it's been very productive for the people that are behind it. Fine. They can't even agree on how to warn future civilizations about the site, which is so funny. Like, scientists have proposed creating genetically modified cats that glow different colors near radiation, which, by the way, I like this. I like it. I'm on board. That to me, is what was missing from cats, them being neon. I realized that the fish that we have in the aquarium, the fish guy Brian casually threw out, they're like neon fish. I thought we had a saltwater tank. And he's like, oh no, this is fresh water. And I was like, oh, those are like. Those are like neon green fish. He said, oh yeah. They injected spray paint into them in the 70s and now they're neon. Humans are wild.
- [18:31]
A
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- [19:01]
B
I get so many headaches every month. It could be chronic migraine. Fifteen or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more.
- [19:08]
C
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- [19:53]
B
Why wait Ask your doctor. Visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more. Someone was just injecting, like grinding up a highlighter and just injecting it into fish until they were all neon. You know, the cats, they let out 120 cats every night at Disneyland to handle the rat problem. I feel like cats are very underused. You know, pigeons are better at reading radiation than humans. You know what we're missing in our healthcare system? Birds. You know what we're missing in our nuclear waste management vermin. We need to stop using humans. Cause they want to go home. Cats don't go home. Pigeons don't need to get out of there to get to the stepdad's, you know, adult circumcision party.
- [20:45]
A
They're always on the clock.
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B
You know, we have got to stop allowing humans to be responsible for humans staying alive. Cats owe us, right? Pigeons can't buy bagels, so you have no leverage over humans. Humans have all the. If a human doesn't care if they get fired, what's the point of you being the CEO? They are the CEO. They make more decisions than you do, quite frankly. There's something very hopeful about this too. We go like, humans are stupid. There's something hopeful about like, someone else will figure that out. We vacillate back and forth between this next generation of 20 year olds are the dumbest people alive. And they'll fix it. They'll fix this. 20 year olds, they're idiots. That can function. They'll handle the nuclear waste issue. We go back and forth of whether we think that they are like Mensa or whether they're like, cannot function. Glow in the dark. Cats managing nuclear waste is. This is honestly a future I can get behind, right? As long as we make it funny and cute, I'm in. There's something else they're trying to do. It's called atomic priesthood. Religious orders whose sole purpose is maintaining oral traditions about dangerous nuclear sites for 10,000 years. Great. 10,000 years of podcasting. You're pitching another podcast at this point. Cool. We cannot maintain consistent WI fi password for 10 days. But, yeah, please, let's create a nuclear. Let's create a bunch of guys sitting around arguing. Like, guys can't tell stories or talk. This is a bad idea. Guys. Like, you can't get a bunch of guys in a room and be like, all right, we're gonna share. Share AA for nuclear secrets.
- [22:37]
A
They need like a Star wars level fandom.
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B
Funny.
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A
Your waste. That's it to perpetuate the info.
- [22:43]
B
This needs to be a comic con or ren fair or something. You have to trick people into thinking they're saving the world. And the trick is that they are.
- [22:52]
A
And. Or that they're the best at knowing all the factoids about.
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B
You gotta go like, hey, hey, you guys were doing this cosplay thing. We're like LARPing where there's like this nuclear waste and a hole in Nevada, but you're the only person that knows and you have to make sure the next 10,000 years are. And they think it's Dungeons and Dragons, but it's real.
- [23:10]
A
Yeah, yeah.
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B
Like if Dungeons and Dragons was this information it would sustain.
- [23:18]
A
When they say that they're talking about starting religions around it. Like that might work for a long time, but as we can see with actual world religions right now, 10,000 years is a long time to keep it up before people start calling bullshit.
- [23:32]
B
Yeah. Oh, and it has to stay in the family. It has to be a family affair.
- [23:37]
A
Their religion could be built around the idea of keeping these. These sites sacred or whatever. But 10,000 years from now, when it's still a death trap, they might not think like, oh well, that's just what they've been saying.
- [23:49]
B
Can you really that argue that that's what the pyramids are?
- [23:53]
A
And so that's another point. Like those are obviously important locations and for all for tourism knows, maybe they're full of nuclear waste and we're just exploring them because. Oh, well, that's just an old religion.
- [24:10]
B
Because you also can't get a dead religion. You can't get people to not go. You have to go, yeah, come and explore the tombs. But you're walking around on nuclear waste and they can't tell you to stay away. Yes, they have to say come. And it's the thing you don't think it is.
- [24:26]
A
Yeah.
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B
Is that kind of like the Grand Canyon? It's really. Come see it. We have nothing to hide. You'd have to say come torrid or else there would be more people trying to get in than actually tore it if it was open.
- [24:38]
A
Well, they just, they're missing the safety element of avoiding it like those. A lot of the pyramids were designed to keep people out.
- [24:46]
B
The pyramids were designed to keep people out.
- [24:48]
A
So like if you need to put something underground for 10,000 years and make sure that nobody goes in there, you're going to make it weird and scary and religious and bizarre and all that because it's really important that nobody goes in there. But 10,000 years later, most people are going to be like, oh, that's just some dead story that they've been telling forever. Let's go explore. And they're going to go right into nuclear waste. And I'm not saying that's what the pyramids are, but I'm saying eventually that's what these nuclear sites are going to be. They're going to have to become these sacred, protected things that 4,000 years from now, somebody's going to not believe that you shouldn't go in there.
- [25:26]
B
Isn't there a way to measure if there's nuclear waste under something, like, with a government.
- [25:30]
A
Yeah, yeah, but I don't think people had. Like, in the late 1800s.
- [25:34]
B
Yeah.
- [25:35]
A
When Westerners were exploring the pyramids, I think they were using Geiger counters and.
- [25:39]
B
Of course. But, like, we would know now if there had been nuclear waste under the.
- [25:42]
A
Yeah, there's ways to measure the radiation.
- [25:45]
B
People come back from the pyramids. Goofy. I remember Bridget, she talked about it, I think, on a podcast where she was like. She was like, I was in the pyramids, and I was like, dizzy. And I was like, I think you're hungry and tired and, you know, whatever. But when people come back from the pyramids, that's all they talk about.
- [26:03]
A
Yeah.
- [26:03]
B
You're like, I feel like you could have inhaled a little bit of the Nuki Nuke. There is the Run It Dome in the Marshall Islands. Where the Marshall Islands, they. It's in the 70s. It took 120,000 tons of radioactive debris. How did they even get it there? Who are these? It's. They just put it under some concrete in the ocean. So do we have new fish? Cause of that? Is that why. Is that, like, how they figured out to make my fish neon, maybe? Here's the other thing. Even if the ocean. So you're telling me there's animals in the ocean that are affected by the nuclear waste that we dropped in the Marshall Islands? We're actively affecting evolution with the stuff that we're putting down there. There's no liner on it, by the way. There's nothing. It's just. It's.
- [26:52]
A
It's just going to leak.
- [26:54]
B
That's it. Okay. It's cracking. Of course it's cracking. Because we all are. All right. If we think they buried it with concrete. That's not what happened. They dropped it in. What is a nuclear material look like? Is it. Is it.
- [27:08]
A
I think it's in barrels.
- [27:10]
B
Is it liquid?
- [27:11]
A
I think it's. I think it's probably gloopy. Little gloopy, maybe goop.
- [27:17]
B
Little goop.
- [27:17]
A
Kitchen, little glowy goop.
- [27:19]
B
Okay. So In Brazil in 1987, scavengers found an abandoned medical device with CCM137. Okay, cool. Glowing blue powder. He put it on his skin because he thought it was. Look, they're wild down there, dude. He was a guy just Avatar, like, look at me. Like, it's. We've all. And he. Four people died. Hundreds were contaminated, all because he found this radioactive material, decided to use it as, like, body glitter, you know, Raver. It's. Dude, punk rock. Honestly, if this is the way to go, if you're going to go. But this is like humanity in a nutshell. It's like, you see a barrel. If I saw a barrel that had, like, a skull and crossbones, it said, like, poison. I'd be like, let's shoot a video.
- [28:07]
A
Yeah, let's get some of that on me.
- [28:10]
B
Like, sick. As Halloween decoration.
- [28:12]
A
Oh, look, it glows in the dark.
- [28:14]
B
I think the fact that we have decided that our holidays are about celebrating horrifying things, like on Halloween, like, this is my yard. It's just like, do not open this barrel of poison. And then we see one in the wild, and we're like, oh, are we just gonna start finding things? Taiwan, in 1982, radioactive steel got mixed into construction materials. 1700 apartments became contaminated. People live in radioactive buildings for decades not knowing it. Here's the one thing is, I am excited. I. I would love to be able to blame some parts of my personality on this. I'm against that. I got nuked. I didn't know it, but I was nuked that whole time. When you make amends because, like, you get sober and you're like, hey, sorry, I was nuked. That. That was nuclear waste. Should not have gone to that. Michaels, there's certain things, and I recommend to everybody, a list of things you need to worry about in order of importance to you personally. This actually helped me. I wrote it down because I was like, should I be worrying about nuclear waste getting nuked? You know?
- [29:19]
A
Yeah, you want the slow or the
- [29:20]
B
quick fire in California or the fact that my coffee cup liner is now supposedly bad for me? Where do I. Am I going to worry about all the things I can't control or the worry about the things I can control? I think these are funny. Just, you know, just a gentle reminder, because I do find myself the same way. I just said, like, we can't decide if this next generation are complete idiots or geniuses with what we throw in their lap to fix. But with Epstein files having come out, we can't decide if the government is barely functioning or the most organized high
- [29:59]
A
tech doing it on purpose.
- [30:01]
B
To strategic planning years in advance, able to keep a secret, have some sort of, you know, a technology we've never heard of.
- [30:09]
A
Yeah.
- [30:10]
B
And can plot and plan and keep secrets and collaborate and work together and collude. Or these idiots can't even get me my, you know, sticker for my license plate.
- [30:20]
A
It's capable of being very strategic and intentional and, you know, CIA manipulation and things like that. But if. If it's not in the hands of somebody who actually knows how to do that.
- [30:34]
B
Yeah.
- [30:35]
A
They can get away with making all kinds of failures and have people say, like, oh, they're probably doing it on purpose. Like, oh, they're playing 4D chess.
- [30:43]
B
Different people worry about different things, and I think that's good. You know, like, my guy and I, I'm always like, ah, do we not agree on this thing? Or is this like when we sort of. You know, he has to sleep on a certain side of the bed and it annoys me. Cause I sleep better on that side of the bed. And he's like, well, what if there's a meteor? And I'm like, I don't know. Plastic water bottles that we're drinking out of are bad, so. And you're on the meteor. And there's times where I'm like, we are a million miles apart and cannot. And then I'm like, no, this is good. You worry about that. I'll worry about this. You know, and like, when I asked Pat, like, what should we talk about? It's like, nuclear waste. I'm like, you know what this is?
- [31:30]
A
This is.
- [31:31]
B
You take this one. I'm gonna sit this one out unless you tell me I need to worry about it, and I'm gonna start figuring out if I can wear deodorant again. Am I allowed to wear deodorant? Is there a one out that isn't gonna kill me? Can I hold the phone to my head? I can't stop button the new AirPods, which AirPods are not making my brain a cancer casserole. Just tell.
- [31:56]
A
Just, like, I'm to support the electricity needs of all these AI data centers.
- [32:03]
B
That's bad.
- [32:03]
A
There's gonna need to be a nuclear power plant in every city.
- [32:08]
B
But nuclear energy, I thought, is good.
- [32:10]
A
Well, yeah, but then there's. You have to get rid of the waste at some point.
- [32:14]
B
If you told this to Chris, he would Lose his mind. And I'm like, but you won't clean out your car. Oh, yeah, you won't get the trash out of your car. But you're obsessed about the nuclear waste and how to get that into some.
- [32:27]
A
Well, when I frame my filthy car against how it affects society, it's really easy to say it, but you're like,
- [32:33]
B
I don't have time to clean up my car. I gotta worry about this. Wait, this other trash. But he'll fold his trash. Like, he'll fold up the trash and make it nice. In the amount of time he makes the trash nice in the car, he could have just thrown it away. I'm like, I don't.
- [32:47]
A
But that doesn't serve the emotional need
- [32:49]
B
of being single forever. I just. I don't have to understand. We're just going to pick different things to worry about. And I believe in summation, this episode is about. You get to choose what you want to worry about. And other people don't get to think you're dumb or ignorant because you're not worrying about the same thing they're worrying about. Because when you're like, I don't know if this is, you know, tap water this, and someone's like that, but what about. Yeah, what about the bees? We can't all do the bees. Oh, my God. The Starbucks cup. So I just looked over the Starbucks cup. You know how sometimes they'll write messages on or like, something on your cup? This says, yum, exclamation mark. I. From this angle, I thought it said grow up. Because the smiley face, it just for a second, that looked like a G. And I thought it said, grow up. And I was like, that is so funny.
- [33:49]
A
They could write whatever they want to
- [33:50]
B
write on, like, a caramel macchiato fried. Like, grow up is so funny.
- [33:56]
A
Yeah.
- [33:56]
B
Like, hey, buddy, grow up.
- [33:57]
A
Yeah.
- [33:58]
B
Don't order this ever again.
- [33:59]
A
This is just a comment on the drink person pairing.
- [34:01]
B
That is so funny. All right. I am going to be performing in your city soon. Philadelphia. I'm going to be there. Miller Theater, April 3rd. And then I'm going to be in Oklahoma City. I'm coming to Jacksonville, Florida. God. So Arkansas. Am I missing other places? I've done so many cities. I've been having the best time on tour. Just definitely, it's. It's so fun. The worst things get out there, the more fun it gets doing stand up. Because people are like, we need that. Like, they're like, we're here to laugh. Okay, I'll stop talking about nuclear waste. And start talking about abused elephants. Don't ride elephants. Love y' all.
- [35:10]
A
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