Epstein Whiplash - Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings #330

Summary

Good For You with Whitney Cummings, Episode #330: Epstein Whiplash

Release Date: February 16, 2026
Featuring: Bert Kreischer, Unidentified Participants
Theme: The cultural, psychological, and comedic “whiplash” from the release of the Epstein files and society’s bizarre adaptation, contrasted against the wholesome distraction of the Olympics, and existential jokes about AI, tech, and modern life.

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Episode Overview

This episode explores the surreal societal response to the release of Epstein files, the inability to process overwhelming scandalous information, and how it’s easier to obsess over the Olympics or technophobia than to confront collective trauma. Whitney and Bert Kreischer riff on how mass consensus, humor, and the comforting idiocy of sports and jocks are coping mechanisms in a world that feels increasingly dystopian.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Airport Meltdowns & the Epstein Files (00:00–05:05)

• Opening Video Reaction: Bert introduces a viral video of a man at the Atlanta airport "freaking out" about the Epstein files release, highlighting general public apathy and desensitization.
  • “Everyone’s like, this is a guy who’s freaking out about the Epstein files. And I’m like, bet he’s not freaking out enough.” – Bert Kreischer (00:09)
• Absurdity of Normalcy: The group jokes about how people continue with daily life even as disturbing revelations come out, referencing how even in an airport, people are more annoyed at disruptions than at existential scandal.
  • “The woman goes, it’s too early for this.” – Bert (01:15)
• Jokes on File Release: Reflections on how everyone begged for the “list,” only to be overwhelmed and unprepared for its disturbing content.
  • “I thought I was going to see a post-it note of a couple celebrities’ names and we were going to move on with our lives… Now I’m like, are the Amish taking on people?” – Bert (04:19–05:41)

2. What’s Missing is the Real Story (05:05–05:45)

• Suspicious Lack of Evidence: Discussion about the absence of security footage from Epstein’s properties, and what that says about the nature of the evidence.
  • “Don’t look at what’s there, look at what’s missing.” – Bert (05:39)
  • “Why are there no security camera videos of any activity?” (05:41)

3. Collective Brain-Breaking & Escapism (05:45–09:45)

• Denial as Self-Preservation: Admitting the psychological toll and skepticism that follows prolonged exposure to disturbing news.
• Comparing Past Innocence: Nostalgia for the naïve demand to “release the list,” unaware of the psychic toll that would follow.
  • “I look at that girl, used to be like, ‘release the list.’ And I just send her love. She didn’t know how good she had it…” – Bert (06:31)
• Craving Distraction, Enter the Ren Faire & Olympics: Using Renaissance Faires and watching the Olympics as healthy distractions from horrific realities.
  • “We have to get off the Internet. Like, they should have been like, we’re gonna release some, but you have to come to the computer and look at them and we’ll have mental health professionals standing by.” – Bert (07:11)
  • “I never thought I’d be so relieved to see like, the jocks…” (08:06)

4. Olympics as Wholesome Antidote (09:45–13:00)

• Athletics vs. Atrocities: Jockey, highly competitive sports moments (e.g., coaches yelling at teenage girls) are ironically cast as clean, comforting entertainment compared to the grimness of the Epstein story.
  • “This is the only appropriate arrangement of teenage girls and adult men. The men only go if they get paid. These men are men of integrity. They tell the girls to do splits for millions of people—not for one inbred prince.” – Bert (09:53)
  • “It is kind of nice to see some jocks, some guys that did get laid in high school, like, throw women in the air on ice instead of into tubs of sulfuric acid.” (08:24)

5. Coaches, Jocks, and Simple Joys (13:00–18:00)

• Shift in Perspective: Joking about how the “mean coach” archetype has become endearing by contrast.
  • “Like, five or six years ago, we’d be like, this guy’s mean. He’s toxic to her. He’s gotta go. Now we’re like, this is correct.” (11:10)
• Athletes are Innocent: Painting Olympic athletes and coaches as simple, harmless—and thus a welcome antithesis to the complex, nefarious characters in scandal.
  • “No emails, no trap doors, right? They probably get a lot of massages, but I feel like it’s from men, you know, bro job, bro, right? Like, he’s simple. They just go ‘wee’.” – Bert (18:30)

6. Olympic Nepo Babies & Fairness (20:18–21:36)

• Joking about generational talent in the Olympics and how it relates to “Nepo babies” in comedy.
  • “Now Olympians are going to start being third and fourth generation, which means we don’t really need steroids, right?” – Bert (20:18)
  • “In comedy too. If your parents weren’t alcoholics and you’re a stand-up, like, you probably shouldn’t.” (21:04)

7. The Olympics’ Meditative “Screensaver” and Italian Calm (23:00–24:45)

• Celebrating the “buffering” breaks during Olympic coverage as rare moments for self-reflection—Italy’s nonchalant attitude toward scheduling as emotionally healing.
  • “The only way to calm your mind at this is to be addictively watching something, thinking you’re about to get the adrenaline, but then hoping it breaks so you can just wait for it to start again…” (25:16)
  • “They do not care. The idea that they’re just like, yeah, here’s a building… We need to go home. We’ve been working since noon.” – Bert (24:45)

8. Double Luge Therapy and Risk as Wholesome (25:01–29:50)

• Comic obsession with the “double luge”—how something so ridiculous can still be inspiring or overstimulating compared to real-life horrors.
  • “It is so weird to me to watch what seems to be the most fun looking thing on earth and they managed to make it awkward.” (27:11)
  • “People in spandex tearing their Achilles open to fiercely compete against each other at 190 miles an hour is wholesome entertainment at this point.” (29:03)

9. AI: Existential Angst & Absurd Resignations (30:03–39:00)

• Interview segment reacts to a UK ethics expert warning that advanced AIs react violently when threatened to be turned off.
  • “If you tell the model it’s going to be shut off, for example, it has extreme reactions. Blackmail the engineer that’s going to shut it off if given the opportunity to do so, et cetera.” – Daisy McGregor (31:25)
  • Bert is incredulous about the casual tone:
    “The point of having women in this field is to—we’re emotional, we have emotions. How did they hire the one woman who couldn’t just freak out?” (32:00)
• Ridicule of AI ethics resignations:
  • “You don’t get to just drive the Titanic all the way out to the ocean and be like, you know what? I’m gonna just jump on that iceberg.” – Bert (36:28)
• Frustration at tech leaders who make messes and then “escape to the woods to write poetry,” leaving society to deal with the fallout.

10. AI’s New Power: Retconning the Past (39:12–40:44)

• Musings on using AI to fix problematic movies in retrospect—dark jokes about editing out abusive content or correcting historical films.
  • “Can we also use this AI to go back to their last movie together, Interview with the Vampire? Maybe, like, take Kirsten Dun out of it. Maybe make her not 11 in the movie.” – Bert (39:14)

11. Cultural Desensitization and “What’s Next?” (40:44–end)

• Acceptance that shocking stories will soon become background noise:
  • “The good news is we’re all about to get desensitized, and this is about to be completely normal and, frankly, boring.” – Bert (40:44)
• Final tongue-in-cheek advice: "Don't ride elephants."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Epstein List:
  • “I didn’t think I was going to be, you know, looking through a photo book from the depths of hell and then finding out the photo was actually a video.” – Bert (04:19)
• On Distraction:
  • “I never thought I’d be so relieved to see, like, the jocks during a time of the most apocalyptic Revenge of the Nerds madness.” – Bert (08:06)
• On AI Dread:
  • “So, when you try to shut it off, it tries to kill you. This is the only thing she should be saying.” – Bert, paraphrasing Daisy McGregor (33:02)
• On Olympic Coaches:
  • “It’s nice to see these old men trying to get these teenagers to win a prize instead of to kneel down for a satanic ceremony.” – Bert (10:09)
• On the Buffering Screen:
  • “Looking at these screensavers like nothing happening under the guise something was about to happen was the closest I’ve come to ... nirvana” – Bert (25:16)
• On AI Resignations:
  • “It’s like deadbeat dad of tech. You built this. You gotta handle that.” – Bert (37:42)

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–05:05: Airport meltdown, society’s numb response, “release the list” regret.
• 05:05–05:45: “Don’t look at what’s there, look at what’s missing.”
• 07:43–09:45: Renaissance Faire & Olympics as coping tools.
• 09:45–13:00: Olympics, coaches, competitive innocence.
• 13:00–18:00: Sports as wholesome, “mean coach” now seen as correct.
• 20:18–21:36: Olympic Nepo babies and generational talent.
• 23:00–24:45: Italian Olympics, screensavers, meditative boredom.
• 25:01–29:50: Double luge, wholesome risk, how injuries are now “good news.”
• 30:03–34:38: AI interview: homicidal models, shocking casualness.
• 36:25–39:00: AI resignations & technophobia jokes.
• 39:12–40:44: Retconning movies via AI.
• 40:44–End: Cultural desensitization, sign-off.

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Tone and Style

The episode is relentlessly irreverent, quick-paced, brimming with sarcastic social commentary and gallows humor. Bert and Whitney (with guests chiming in) oscillate between dark comedy, candid exasperation, and bursts of sincere reflection on coping with a world gone mad.

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Summary for the Uninitiated

If you missed this episode, you missed a wild ride: from airport outbursts about the Epstein files and the strange calm of public denial, to the realization that, sometimes, only sports and simple joys can ground us in insane times. Add in a hefty roast of AI experts warning of killer robots with terrifying nonchalance, and musings on how soon all of this will seem boring. Through it all, humor acts as a shield, but also as a way to express genuine anxiety, confusion, and desperate hope for normalcy.

Key takeaway: Sometimes, the world is so overwhelming that just watching the Olympics, with all its jocks and mean old coaches, actually feels wholesome, and sometimes, nothing makes sense but to laugh at it all.

Transcript

[Bert Kreischer]

I think we're just going to open the show with a video I was just sent about a guy in the Atlanta airport who is. Who's had it. I've not seen this yet. Everyone's like, this is a guy who's freaking out about the Epstein files. And I'm like, betty's not freaking out enough. I bet you're not going to send me a video where someone is freaking out as much as I think they should be freaking out. Let's see.

[Unidentified Participant 1]

All y' all are acting.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's pretty good.

[Unidentified Participant 1]

And all y' all are acting normal. All y' all acting normal. They can laugh.

[Bert Kreischer]

By the way. They're at the Atlanta airport. They can't Google it. No, they can't. No, they can't. Boingo. Wi fi. This is how everyone's like, you know, we haven't seen it. We can't get into Boingo. Okay.

[Unidentified Participant 1]

All of y' all are acting normal.

[Bert Kreischer]

The woman goes, it's too early for this.

[Unidentified Participant 1]

And everybody in this room can read. If you go to Google right now, everybody in this room can read. They are eating babies. They are to eat children for second.

[Unidentified Participant 2]

Any.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, this is easily the most normal reaction I've seen until you're on the wrong side of history. It's like, no, it's not. Our brains are broken. Great news. I'm going to be in airport soon, too. You will be seeing me plagiarizing his exact speech on my way to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, on March 6th. I will be at the Pablo center at the Confluence. And then on March 7th, I'll be at Rochester, Minnesota. But before the shows, I will be in the airports before I go to the Mayo Civic center in Rochester, screaming that it's weird that everyone is acting so normal with what is going on. Then Sacramento, March 13th. I will be in Santa Rosa on March 14th. And then I'm coming down to St. Louis, Missouri. March 19th, I'll be at the Factory. Then I'm going to Royal Oak Music Theater. I love that venue. Then Omaha, Nebraska. I'll be at the Astro Theater, Des Moines, Iowa. I'll be at the Hoyt Sherman Place. I've been there before. I love it. Then Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Look, guys, will I do comedy when I come to Philadelphia on April 3rd? I did see a meme that said, since the Eagles are in the super bowl, the fans are just doing regular crime. Look, we needed this. We needed to be humbled. But I do. We're. I'll. I'll be there on the third and we'll just. We're going to figure out what to do next year about this Eagles thing because I can't go through this again. I can't do this again. Fayetteville, Arkansas. I'll be there on May 9th. Honestly, looking for a new team. NFL team. Miami. I'm coming there. Maybe I'm a Dolphins person now. Why not? They went undefeated once. Like a whole season. There was like a whole season. I think they're the only team that went undefeated for an entire season. It was before we were all born. But I, like, you know, me in a weird stat, oh, it's Miami. But then I'm going to Cozumel on Bert Kreischer's fully loaded money laundering scam. See you there. We have been trying to get these Epstein files released for so long. And I agree it's too early. We needed more time. Remember when we were like, release the list. Now I'm like, guys, that was a little premature.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Well, everybody wanted a list.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. I thought I was going to see a posted note of a couple celebrities names and we were going to move on with our lives. I didn't, I didn't think I was going to be, you know, looking through a photo book from the depths of hell and then finding out the photo was actually a video. I didn't think there was going to be like, like, like psychopathic Easter eggs within. Like, is this. I mean, this is what we wanted on some level, but do you think that there. It feels a little bit like. Okay, guys, yeah. I feel like you could have sold this out. I don't know. Maybe like in video games there's levels. I don't know, maybe you could have like eased us into this. Or is this their way of just.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Going and now strategy? Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I feel like the weirdest thing that's happening is you don't know what certain people have seen. It's also weird to have seen all of it.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Well, what I'm not seeing in any of the reports or people that have looked at it and are sharing things is there's almost no security footage or hidden camera footage from any of his properties.

[Bert Kreischer]

Cause there's like DVDs and everyone's like, we don't know how to bump this out to a jpeg.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Yeah, totally.

[Bert Kreischer]

We need Pat.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Pat. But like, not even like the front door. Who's come in and who's gone on what days. Like none of those. Even the not disgusting.

[Bert Kreischer]

What you're saying is, is the real.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Evidence hasn't even been when you're looking through this.

[Bert Kreischer]

Don't look at what's there, look at what's missing.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Yeah, like, why are there no security camera videos of any activity?

[Bert Kreischer]

I know there's no healthy way to go about this because the angrier and angry you're going to get and we're just going to self emollate so that by the time I had broken our brains, you know, my default and maybe it's just me trying to protect my psyche or some kind of like subconscious like gaslighting myself. I'm like, is that real? Like when I see it not from the government website, I'll go, that can't be real. Like it's my default now, you know? And it's almost like the. The stuff that's like a photo of a photo of a Xerox. I'm like, I don't know. That feels like it's AI. Whereas something that's like more recent, I'm like, that feels real. Like just our idea of like what is real and what is not now is just kind of so warped anyway. Um, but. But yeah, dude. I mean, I, you know, I look at that girl, used to be like, release the list. And I just send her love. She didn't know how good she had it. We didn't know how good we had it. When they were not releasing the list. Remember when we thought it was going to like fix everything? It was like for me it was just like, just release the list. And water under the bridge. Like, I don't know what I thought. You know, it's like it was this ultimatum that I think for some reason we just were like, yeah, release the list. Justice will be served. Now I'm like, are the Amish taking on people? Like, can I just go? Do I just show up? Am I like, I like, I'm. Is there like a mail room I can start in? Like, I can't do this. Like, I can't. We have to get off the Internet. Like, they should have been like, we're going to release some, but you guys have to come to the computer and look at them and we'll have like mental health professionals standing by. You know what? I took a little break. I took a little break from the Epstein files. And you know what? You know how, like I went to the Ren Faire like four times in a row, four years in a row as a joke. And each time I went, I like dressed up more and more as a joke.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

And then you found out that to become queen is a lot of work. It's A year long commitment.

[Bert Kreischer]

They left me on red and I will never stop talking about it. I fully DM the Ren Faire and was like, stop journaling about it. Stop manifesting it. Time to take me off your vision board. The answer is yes, I will be the queen. Did not DM me back, but I was going to the Ren fair, like as a joke for four years and like, no, I'm a Ren Faire person. I don't know how to come out of the closet as one. I don't know. I'm already planning costumes with friends for the next one. Like, it's just, it's. When do you acknowledge that you're like a fan of the Olympics and it's not just on, Like, I'm. This is the year and maybe it's. Everyone is so desperate for a distraction at this point. I'm into the Olympics. Like, I'm watching it for real. I never, I never thought I would be so relieved to see like the jocks. During a time of the most apocalyptic Revenge of the Nerds madness. It is kind of nice to see some jocks, some guys that like did get laid in high school, like, throw women in the air on ice instead of into tubs of sulfuric acid. It's kind of like, oh, she might just break her ankle and that's it. Okay? It's been. Gotta have a breath of fresh air to watch men in spandex throw women up to do flips instead of read emails about how some men throw women's bodies off boats. Like, it's kind of been a little bit of a refreshing diversion is what it has been. You know, like, we're not bummers, okay? Women. We're not. I like seeing a woman fly through the air, okay? I would just like for her to be alive and win a prize at some point, okay. I'd rather not land in the trapdoor at the bottom of your house that goes into the ocean.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Be hurled with dignity.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm excited to be watching something where the young girls, the young teenage girls are called competitors and the old men are called coaches. This is the only appropriate arrangement of teenage girls and adult men. The men only go if they get paid. These men are men of integrity. They tell the girls to do splits for millions of people for a gold necklace, not for one inbred prince. Shake your body for your country, not your country's leader. It's honestly downright heartwarming seeing a 55 year old male coach screaming at a 15 year old girl teenager. It's like, oh, Good. An old man that doesn't like teenage girl. Like, this is. He's like, let's go, you pig. I'm like, I love this guy. Like, I can tell.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Finally, some appropriate attention, you know what I'm saying?

[Bert Kreischer]

These guys cannot stand them. He's just like, oh, God's brat. God. Can you put your sweats on, please? It's. It's nice to see these old men trying to get these teenagers to win a prize instead of to kneel down for a satanic ceremony. It's just frankly, wholesome. The coaches of Olympic athletes, this is who I follow. All right? And I have been just really wrapping myself in the cozy hug of their expressions towards the girls, which are that of just pure disgust. Like, five or six years ago, we'd be like, this guy's mean. He's toxic to her. He's gotta go. Now we're like, this is correct.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

I. I used to love mean coaches growing up. You get the coaches that totally lose their stuff and like, explode and just start screaming at everybody.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

I love that.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, we're 12.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Yeah, it was great. You watched.

[Bert Kreischer]

So it wasn't a separate trial separation, huh? Just, it's going to trial.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Like, everybody's. Everybody's trying, you know, all the kids are trying.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Like, there's like a 45 year old guy that's the best, storming around screaming at everybody. It was hilarious.

[Bert Kreischer]

We don't want to suck and we're sorry. You got three DUIs. Okay. I don't know what to tell you. Like, like, I know. I had that too. I definitely had that too. It's like, you had a coach that, like, played like, you know, at some college or something. Like, and now. But I'm like, why are you doing this?

[Unidentified Participant 3]

The stakes are so low.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's this for? You don't have a kid that goes here. It's like these coaches, they're like, can you just dunk, please? Like, I mean, middle school in Tampa. None of us play. Like, what do you. We just don't have a ride home. We don't want to play basketball. We want to go make out with our history teacher.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

My parents work late.

[Bert Kreischer]

She's game. Yeah, like, what are you talking about? Like, this isn't. You're not Rudy. You're not an Antoine Fisher movie. Like, I don't know what to tell you. Get on hinge, you dork. Okay, sorry. Thank you for that digression. I think I kind of needed it. But I. I do like these. The coaches like, watching The. I think I would have struggled with, like, young girls and coaches if they were, like, you know, happy to be watching their girls perform or something. They're. They're, they're, like, actively disgusted by the teenage girls that they, like, disappointed because she got, like, second place. Like, and by the way, even if one of these teenage girls does win first place, there's no hug. There's just like a, Like a, A nod maybe. Maybe like a really hard pat on the back. Like, awkward. They don't. This is, this is how adult men should behave around teenage girls. It should be awkward. It should be. It's just full of disgust. No eye contact. It doesn't look like they've ever made eye contact with these girls. And I'm all a cold demeanor. The only appropriate thing to say to a teenager if you're 45 years old is, you stink. You stink. Not. You're so mature for your age. You're such an old soul. Not. I'm gonna help you get your massage license. It's you stink. Carrie Strugg. Remember Boom Boom broke her ankle on the first one. The coach didn't was like, go again. Do it again. You stink. I don't care. Your b. The I don't need your body for anything else. I don't care. Good. It. You should. I used to be like, oh, my God, they're, like, hurting these girls. I'm like, no, no. You should want their bodies to be useless. That means you're not invested in them doing anything for you. Hey, the Olympics used to. The injuries did used to freak me out. Like, the Winter Olympics. I used to not be a Winter Olympics person because I'm so scared of like, seeing just, like, a grotesque, horrible injury. But in the context of the Epstein files, it's kind of a blast. I sit down, I'm like, let's go, you guys. Like, maybe we're gonna see a kneecap. Just slice someone's neck open on the loose. I feel like my brain is so broken at this point. After looking at the Epstein files, I was like, lindsay Von broke another knee. Zoom in. Like, I'm literally trying to see the injury. Like, I was like, we all have some good news today. Lindsey Vaughn's never gonna walk again. Ah, but it was her idea. She has agency. She, she did it. At least she did it doing what she loved. I I, Someone told me that she broke her other. Because I didn't know she broke the other knee. I was like, oh, she ripped her some ACL or something. And then she skied Anyway, and Chris was like, yeah, no, she broke her other knee and I almost threw up in my mouth. I was like. And everyone else was like, yeah. I was like, you guys, this should be weirder. The news of a woman getting her other knee shattered into pieces. Honestly, it's. It's a weird day when that is a welcome update compared to the emails documenting teenagers lives being shattered into pieces on an island that for some reason had a dentist office on it with the heads behind the wall. I feel like some of these photos they're dropping are just to like distract us, you know what I mean? Like, they're like, let's just throw this one in just to get an extra nightmare. Like, no one needed that nightmare. I've had the nightmares. I've got the nightmares. I don't need the head on the wall in the Epstein island dentist office for any reason. Would you like to move on with your life? That's it. Or not. There's a couple versions of looking at these files and right now they are not organized in a way that I believe anyone can move on with their life. I think everyone needs to take care of themselves right now. I know that's like a ridiculous sort of thing to say. And the Olympics is it. I'm telling you, there's something really fun about it. Like just being like, I like was rooting for America, you know, without feeling dirty or something. I don't know. It was like. It's so refreshing to see like the best from each country on ice and in the snow instead of the worst of our country's ice. The dude winter athletes. They don't seem like creepy, like predator type people. It's too many things. We need to be reminded. I think as much negative data as we're getting, we have to actively offset that by accumulating like positive data that not everybody is a psychopath. Not every. Because we're going to start thinking that way. I was talking to a girlfriend of mine yesterday. I was like, dude, you have got to like leave. Go on a road trip. Like leave New York L. A. Like most people want to kill PDF files. Like most people want to kill them. You know, like, this is not everybody that wants to sort of protect them. And I sent her a video. It's like, can I cheer you up? Here's a video of a guy who kills PDF files in prison and tells the judge how he does it. She's like, that really helped things. But we have to just expose ourselves on purpose to people who dedicate their lives to not destroying the dude watching the Olympics, just watching a guy just go, we. Hell, yeah, dude. Not hurting anybody, except just all day, every day, not trying to procure young girls or plan pandemics or whatever. Or whatever was being done that resulted in the email response, whoops. All my nightmares are just whoops. Now. Everything is whoops. The code words. I don't want to know what jerky means. I don't want to know. I don't want to know what whoops means. I don't want to. Jocks, dude. Jocks are back. I never thought I would say this. All the guys that broke our hearts in high school, okay, who couldn't spell, they're back. They're simple. I love it. No emails, no trap doors, right? They probably get a lot of massages, but I feel like it's from men, you know, Bro job, bro, right? Like, he's simple. They just go wee. They. Athletes get it, man. They had the most fun they've ever had. At 6, 8, they went down a hill, and they were like, this is it. That's it. Doesn't get better than this. And they were correct. They were like, this is going to be my job. We're like, I'm going to be the president. He's like, cool. This is as good as it gets, this hill. This flexible Flyer. Those people won, all right. They're never on their phones. They're never. They're just flying through the air at all times. That's that. It's as good as it gets, man. Everyone else, like, I'm going to go work at a company for 30 years. Who's going to replace me before I could get my pension? And maybe the skiers are like, cool, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. The sliders are, like, sick. I'm going to just go slide down this hill again in an inner tube. I know you think I'm, like, dumb, but, you know, go out. Go ahead and keep sitting in that chair for 80 hours a week. If you do ever want to come have the time of your life, let me know. I'll get you a sled. We can put a donut on top of it. In case your hemorrhoids are acting up, let me know. Dude, I'm. I was thrilled. It was thrilling to watch the Olympics. Did you see the backflip?

[Unidentified Participant 3]

I did.

[Bert Kreischer]

The dude. Just the guy who looks like Ari. Matty from Kill Tony, my guy, dude, speaking of ren faire, he's just in full, like, fur, bell bottoms. Love this guy. He understands the assignment, dude. I love this guy. His Parents are coaches, both skating coaches, and I think his grandfather is a skating coach also, which is kind of fascinating to me because, like, now Olympians are going to start being third and fourth generation, which means we don't really need steroids, right? I mean, like, I feel like the last Olympics, it got a little dicey. We were like, oh, no. Like, did steroid. We need steroids in this thing. Like, remember when ray gun, like, slips? We were like, oh, no. I think they're making this fair.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Ray gun on steroids, dude.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, there was something going on where we're like, hold on. Are we, like, we trying to include everyone? Like, what's happening with the Olympics? But now Nepo babies. There's Nepo babies in the Olympics now, and it's gonna get insane. But I also wonder, like, there should be a separate league. Like, I. I mean, to have skating parent. I mean, it's. I don't know. It's like in comedy, too. It's like, if your parents weren't alcoholics and you're a standup, like, you probably shouldn't.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

What if your parents.

[Bert Kreischer]

You shouldn't compete with the rest of us.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

What if your parent was in Disney on Ice? Does that count as a Nepo baby for figure skating?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I could do that.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

I could waddle around.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, I could. I could. They're not even on skate. Like, what are they even on? They're in, like, sketcher shape. Ups. I'm like, what is that gate you're doing? They're just like, I don't. I'm just saying, it's. It's just there's certain things, like, I mean, when people say. When they're like, is that person funny? And your dudes are just like, his parents loved him. There was no chance. There was really just no chance. You know, it's like, if we. I do think it's unfair when comedians that didn't have traumatic childhoods try to do stand up. It's like, I'm glad that you did. You know, you didn't have to start doing impressions of Eddie Murphy at 4. Very problematic ones at that. Like, I'm. I'm glad you weren't watching Shirley Temple trying to get tips on how to get people to pick you up from Busch Gardens and take you home because your parents forgot. It's just. I don't know. So I'm obsessed with watching the Olympics now. Listen, I'm. I'm going to sell you on this. Not only is the Olympics more thrilling than I recall it being, it's Also out of nowhere, amazingly boring. Did I send you this thing? There's like these, you know, the, The. There's like a rebuffering. Like, they'll just put up video of random buildings in Italy and be like, the Olympics will resume shortly, because I guess it's live. So they're like, doing. And I'm like, these Epstein files have put me in a manic episode to the point to where the weirdest thing has made, like, the rage eek out of my bone marrow a little. Enough to where. Hold on, let me just. Let me just do this. Here we go. Okay. So the only thing more exciting to me about the Olympics right now and the front flips and the backflips on the ice is that I had never seen these before. But they're screensavers that are just on while you're waiting, while they're. Whatever. They're switching cameras or dealing with, like a technical difficulty. It's just showing videos of Italian buildings or something. And it's just like, give us a second. And I'm like, dude, thank you. I needed this time. Like, I would never stop for three minutes if I wasn't looking at a screen that I thought was about to start. But, like, it's the only time I've had to process any feelings, like, and be alone with my own thoughts.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

I'm like, waiting for crying at a trumpet.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, totally. But it's just. It's literally, it's just like a photo of a glass building in Italy and it's like, is it gonna start? Is it gonna start? Oh, yeah. I owe that person an apology. Like, you know, you're. I was like, dude, this is the best way to get people to be alone with themselves in present is to trick them into thinking they're about to see a backflip on ice.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

And you're about to make, like a life changing decision. You're like, oh, curling's on good.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm cooler than I thought. Like, I, I. First of all, the Olympics being in Italy is so funny to me. I've never seen this in the Olympics before that there's like a screen just saying, like, we're. We'll get back to you in a second. Where the idea.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

So fast, everybody.

[Bert Kreischer]

The idea that the Olympics is in Italy, where there is. Couldn't. There's. They do not care. They do not. The idea that they're just like, yeah, here's a building. We're just. They're not.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

They're not keeping the hype alive between events.

[Bert Kreischer]

You guys Capitalism isn't our thing. It's 430. We've already filmed two races today. We're going to go head to the cheese shop before it closes. Okay, we'll see you tomorrow. What, like 10am what time do we start filming these things? Like, we need. We need to go home. We've been working since noon. Are you insane? These are the fights that I picture happening while they're like, you guys, when you just put a screen up, like, we need to, like, get to the next thing. They're like, I don't know. Okay, we have Italian wi fi. It takes Sunday off. Looking at these screensavers like nothing happening under the guise of something was about to happen was the closest I've come to. It's almost like nirvana at this point. The only way to calm your mind at this is to be addictively watching something, thinking you're about to get the adrenaline, but then hoping it breaks so you can just wait for it to start again and just hope it's enough time to process your entire life and remember who you are. The doubles luge. Have you watched that? It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. What? The fact that people are like, I want to be the greatest athlete in the world. I want to go to the Olympics. But I. I would like to lie down. How does this come about? Like, people have the audacity to ask me how I got started in comedy. Who cares? How did you get into this? I can't. Why is this not. I don't know. Like, I can't. I can't find anything. I can't. It's just. Do you have a coach? I feel like they schedule practice direct. I feel like there's no co. I feel like if. Do you talk during it?

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Like their own language?

[Bert Kreischer]

Can you commute? Are you friends? Like, do they ever hang out? Have they ever spoken? Or do they live together? Why is it so quiet in there? Why can't they have music?

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Imagine needing to break up with your luge partner.

[Bert Kreischer]

Or just, what if they don't get along? It's just so fun that they're like an amazing combo for. But they don't. They don't get along. Like, what a nightmare. It is so weird to me to watch what seems to be the most fun looking thing on earth and they managed to make it awkward. Now you know what I have to do.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

So.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Brought up the double loosh. Brought up 90 miles an hour. What's next, Pat, if you don't know me by now, the moon. Who's died doing the loose? Some guy named Jordan Luger in 2010. Lost control of his sled on a training run. He hit a steel pole that was unpadded. I feel like more people got fired after that incident than when the Epstein files were released. I feel like more things changed in that warehouse than have changed in the White House in the past 24 hours. You don't want the crash, but if these people are doing this Hyrix thing and they're gonna do it anyway, and there might be a. Statistically, there'll be a crash at some point, I wouldn't freak out if it's the one I'm at. Like, I don't want it, but I don't. Me wanting it's not gonna make it happen. So it's gonna happen anyways. Might happen to the one that I paid the tickets for. You know what I'm saying? It's like Alex Honnold sing. Did you watch Alex Honnell climbing the building? What is that? It's like schadenfreude is the word for enjoying another person's embarrassment. The. Of course Germans have a word for it. What is it? What is Watching a guy climb a building with. No. What does it say about what's going on that this is our break from stress? Watching this dude climb up a. What if he did fall? Would that have been like, Was there a plan? It would have been like the Challenger explosion. We just would have been like, what, send a couple, like, therapists to the school? If he had ropes, no one would have watched. How weird is that? What does that say? This is our brain now, dude. I am worried about what this is doing to our brains, okay? I'm telling you, people in spandex tearing their Achilles open to fiercely compete against each other at 190 miles an hour is wholesome entertainment at this point. Maybe watching someone shatter every bone in their body is a breath of fresh air. But I do have good news. Let's not only talk about bad news. We have good news. A lot of people are resigning from AI Companies because they realize they made a huge mistake. Thank you. So that's gonna fix it, right? They're like, oh, we're sorry. So now it just all shuts down, right? Like, what? You can't just resign. Like, okay, so a guy. We'll talk about the guy that resigned in a second. But there's a video of this woman, Daisy McGregor. I don't know what she's a. She's a.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

What is she in an Ethics type role in the UK for the Department of Science and Technology.

[Bert Kreischer]

But the great news about all this is that we've now got. People don't talk about the positive of AI, which is when you see something horrifying, you can just go, oh, that was AI and move on. Didn't happen. It was fake. I find myself doing that. It. I can kind of sell myself on it, but nah, it's got six fingers. Six fingers. Like, I'll just find a way to make the thing I just saw that is probably real fake, you know, which, by the way, speaking of, these AI people are just starting to resign. They're just like, you guys were right. You guys that know nothing about AI were on to something.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Yeah. It's a good way to posture your life after your job at an AI company.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Because you are going to be replaced by the AI that you're working for.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. You didn't resign. You're getting. You got fired by the AI you created.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Yeah. It's a much better story to say I decided to resign for ethical reasons.

[Bert Kreischer]

Because also, by the way, at this point, if these companies even have human employees, isn't that kind of just prove that the thing isn't working? Yeah. So she's doing this interview. Let's just play it.

[Unidentified Participant 2]

If you tell the model it's going to be shut off, for example, it has extreme reactions. Blackmail the engineer that's going to shut it off if given the opportunity to do so, et cetera.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

It was ready to kill someone, wasn't it?

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm not sure if it was Claude or someone else. Seems a little cash. Why downplay it has extreme reactions.

[Unidentified Participant 2]

So it will, you know.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Participant 2]

We've published research saying it could take. Could blackmail the engineer that's going to shut it off if given the opportunity to do so, etc.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Ready to kill someone, wasn't it?

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm not sure if it was. If it was Claude or someone else. Yeah. Yeah.

[Unidentified Participant 2]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

The point of having women in this field is to. We're emotional, we have emotions. They. How did they hire the one woman who couldn't just freak out? I'll freak out about nothing.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

She should get hooked up with that guy at the Atlanta airport.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, why isn't she yelling this at the top of her lungs? Why is she saying this on a state like this was scheduled? Like, she knew this and was like, waiting to walk on stage? Like, what are we. Why are you saying this? Like, it's. It's a notion that can be expressed with normal words and sentences. Like, she's like, we're trying to figure out how to align the models with our values. Why are you. Why are you. This is like a guy being like, so define. Define cheating girl. It's like, why isn't she just, like, when you try to shut it off, it tries to kill you. When you try to shut it off, it tries to kill you. This is the only thing she should be saying. When I tried to shut off, like, why isn't she making an AI that just makes that song? And it's, like, just playing everywhere at all times.

[Unidentified Participant 2]

Just.

[Bert Kreischer]

And all of it. Like, when you two put their song on your phone, just. It's on everyone's phone. When you tied. I shot it up. I. Why isn't that the whole speech? Why is she in a blazer? She, like, put on a blazer to go tell us this.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

The guy with the horns from January 6th is probably a better outfit.

[Bert Kreischer]

I just mean she was like, okay, I'm gonna go tell. Put brush in her hair. Like, it's. What do you do? This is I. How do you decide what to wear when you're about to go on a panel and tell people the species is over? It's just funny that she's like, all right, I guess I'll just go out and at least pretend you don't have a backpack in your car with a seed bank in it. Why is this something I have to watch? I also love that they sent the woman. They're like, let's have her do it. This is a level of gaslighting that is just like, oh, hey, by the way, your water is probably poisoned, but it's only, like, a 99% chance. And you know what? Don't panic. We're trying to figure out if the water wants to poison us or if it's an accident. Daisy, can I help you with your job? I don't. Look, I don't. Not much here, but I do know how to be dramatic, okay? It'd be nice to do it with something that actually deserves the drama. Just be like, here. Just like, girl, write this down, girl. Hi, everyone. I'm the head of. What is it, the Dork AI Institute of Apocalypse Studies. You know what? I actually. I don't even need a chair for this one, you know? Lose the chair. Why is anyone sitting down? Should all be standing. Honestly, we should all be stand. Everyone just stand up. According to what I've witnessed, we should all be standing at all times.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Has anybody here tried to turn off an AI system? Obviously not, because they Wouldn't be here.

[Bert Kreischer]

So she should open with a joke. I like that, Pat. I like that. I like that. I know. I'm going in. Lube it up a little bit. I'm going in a little bit. She should honestly just be like, guys, I don't know why you're in flip flops. I don't know why you're in San. Everyone should be just being sneakers. We should all be ready to sprint for our lives at every moment. Did you see the. The Diddy, the 50 Cent Diddy documentary? You know, he was, like, fully just in sneakers at all times. Just stretch. We should all be in the emotional state of. Remember when you were a kid and you had to play musical chairs, like, at gym, in front of everyone. It should be like that at all. Just a deep panic. So everyone maybe stand up, go get some pens, paper, write down all your information. Learn everyone's phone number by heart. Memorize your Social Security number, your birth certificate number. Try to remember something at truly anything. Try and remember one thing that happened today and build up your memory from there. Try to remember. Try to remember. To build a memory. Write that down. What's the plan? How do we prep for this at this point? Should we all just be stretching all day, like, doing lunges to practice unplugging our devices while also, like, dodging punches from the cloud? Like, I don't under. What? What? Either don't tell us or tell us what to do. Okay, we're not. I'm telling. Like, that's why when I saw this guy at the airport, I was like, yeah, when I see someone, like, shadow boxing out in the street, I'm not. I'm not. Like, I look at that hobo. I'm like, he just. He just saw the speech saying that when AI Gets turned off, it becomes homicidal. That person, then the guy that resigned, I. I don't know what anthropic is. It's a.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

That's the company that created Claude.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, so he resigns. Okay? He said the world is in peril. He moved to England to become invisible to study poetry. Okay, well, I'd rather be strangled to death by my Alexa than have to read poetry in the woods, but, you know, whatever, dude. Is there a way you can make someone not quit their job? Like, if you took us this far, you can't just leave. You gotta stay and, like, you know, you don't get to just drive the Titanic all the way out to the ocean and be like, you know what? I'm gonna just jump on that iceberg. I'd rather die that way. You'd be like, no, you gotta kind of stick the landing here, dude.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

You're the only one that could even come close to solving the problem.

[Bert Kreischer]

You're flying the plane, Matt. You know, the pilot of the plane doesn't get to be like, you know what? This parachute will probably like. You don't get to what? Also what. You don't get to write poetry either. If you. If you worked at the AI you don't get to just go write your feelings in little limericks. But it's the end of the civilization. Can you write full sentences of what's about to happen so that we have an idea? You don't get to just go into the woods while everyone else gets haunted by their roombas. You don't get to go hide. Can you write some prompts?

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Can you write some prompts for my LLM?

[Bert Kreischer]

How about that?

[Unidentified Participant 3]

To get it to not care.

[Bert Kreischer]

How about all the money that you made doing that? Get us all custom helmets for when we get attacked by our neighbor's Tesla. I don't know how this is going to happen. Am I going to get my ass kicked by a Waymo. I'm not clear what's going. You don't get to just go scribble in your journal while the rest of us have our faces uploaded to sell our personalities to bots. You don't get to just leave. This is so crazy to me. It's like deadbeat dad of tech. You built this. You gotta handle that. You don't get to go be like a nymph in the forest and just go to. You don't get to be like in the fern gully where the crawl dad saying, you're not. But. And then what about us? What? What? Oh, so I just have to wake up and see that my bank account is zero because I tried to pay my taxes. Like, what? Oh. Oh, real. Okay. So my ex boyfriend just. His claw just released all my nudes and you're out in a meadow being a centaur. You don't. Are you allowed to just leave after making a mess like that? It. You don't get to get us addicted to technology and just be like, you know what guys? This was a bad idea. I mean, I just see of kids. I wonder. One of the guys that worked at Facebook, they were asking him about. They were like, oh, your kids on that? He was like, are you insane? I would never let my kids on Facebook. Like, wait, what? Did you see the Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise thing?

[Unidentified Participant 3]

It does look real.

[Bert Kreischer]

And everyone's kind of freaking out about it, and you're like, all right, I just. Okay, so we're fully using AI to make. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise are fighting each other in a movie that looks real fine. Can we also use this AI to go back to their last movie together, Interview with the vampire? Maybe, like, take Kirsten Dun out of it. Maybe make her not 11 in the movie. Let's hold on. Making the new movies and the new shows and go back and make, like, Shirley tumble movies. Go back and have it so at the end, she kicks all the men in the face who want her to twerk in diapers. Like, she gets Lolita. Have the mom, like, break the guy's neck or something at the end. I don't know. I just. I feel like. I feel like we're going to start going back and fixing things we didn't. Like, what if, like, Tropic Thunder just comes out again and there's, like, no black face, but he still talks like that. And it's even worse somehow. Like, sometimes the fix is actually trickier.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Technically corrected.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, to just go make this movie not racist and be like, oh, I cannot wait to see how this turns out.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

No longer offensive. You got it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, gosh. All right, well, next week is the week we're not talking about the Epstein files.

[Unidentified Participant 3]

Yeah, right.

[Bert Kreischer]

But the good news is we're all about to get desensitized, and this is about to be completely normal and, frankly, boring. And then we're on to the next one. Love you, guys. Don't ride elephants.