EVERYTHING IS BROKEN | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings | EP 265

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Everything is Broken" | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings | EP 265

Release Date: November 23, 2024

In Episode 265 of the Good For You Podcast, titled "Everything is Broken," comedian Whitney Cummings engages in a candid and humorous conversation with her guest, Grace. The episode delves into a variety of contemporary issues, ranging from fashion trends and political frustrations to the pervasive influence of social media and the evolving dynamics of relationships. Below is a detailed summary capturing the key discussions, insights, and memorable moments from the episode.

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1. Fashion Trends and Personal Style

Whitney and Grace kick off the episode by scrutinizing current fashion trends, particularly focusing on the overuse of blazers among young adults.

• Whitney (00:46): "It's like blazer. I love that the most unemployed, the people that have been in offices the least now wear the most blazers."

  Whitney expresses her frustration with the resurgence of office wear in casual settings, questioning its practicality and relevance.

• Grace (01:24): "I think the trend cycle is coming back. Do you remember in like 2008 when it was like, oh, I'm going out tonight. I'm going to wear a blazer to the club."

  Grace acknowledges the cyclical nature of fashion trends but shares Whitney's disdain for their application in informal environments.

The duo humorously debates the appropriateness of blending professional attire with nightlife, highlighting how such choices reflect broader societal confusion about projecting respect and authority.

2. Political Frustrations and Public Discourse

Moving into political territory, Whitney vents her exasperation with the current state of political engagement and discourse.

• Whitney (04:32): "The election's done. Can we all stop it? No one wants to hear how hard it was for you."

  She criticizes the incessant focus on election outcomes and the public's obsession with seeking closure, likening it to unhealthy relationship dynamics.

• Whitney (05:05): "I think we need people who know what they're talking about to run for office."

  Whitney suggests that individuals who are genuinely knowledgeable and passionate should step into political roles instead of those she deems unqualified.

The conversation underscores a disillusionment with political leaders, labeling them as predominantly "psychopaths" and expressing skepticism about their ability to enact meaningful change.

3. Conspiracy Theories and Misinformation

Whitney and Grace delve into the rampant spread of conspiracy theories, questioning the validity and impact of such beliefs on society.

• Whitney (12:03): "This is the year that everything switched. Like, the left became the censorship people and the right started hiring women."

  Whitney laments the polarization and shifting alliances in political ideology, attributing it partly to misinformation.

• Grace (13:05): "They have health insurance. How could we have gotten or something."

  Grace sarcastically addresses the skepticism surrounding widely accepted events, such as the moon landing and the September 11 attacks.

The hosts critique how technologies like AI and CGI are exploited to propagate false narratives, making it challenging for the public to discern truth from fabrication.

4. Social Media Addiction and Self-Documentation

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the detrimental effects of social media and the obsession with self-documentation.

• Whitney (29:02): "It's literally like, I'm playing the app. It's called alone. Yeah, totally. It's called, like, ignore."

  Whitney humorously critiques dating apps, highlighting their role in fostering superficial connections and emotional detachment.

• Whitney (35:31): "This is a very real addiction. I do wonder, though, like, are we gonna look back in 20 years and be like, remember when you could just be on your phone all day and didn't have to 100 sign in?"

  She draws parallels between social media addiction and substance dependency, pondering the long-term psychological implications.

The discussion emphasizes how constant connectivity and the need for validation online contribute to societal desensitization and mental health struggles.

5. Relationships and Modern Dating

Whitney and Grace explore the complexities of modern relationships, particularly the challenges posed by digital communication and differing expectations.

• Whitney (28:46): "Our biggest fight right now. I don't know how to, like, get through it. Is that he will play the game Solitaire on his phone."

  Whitney shares a relatable conflict about her partner's preoccupation with mobile games during their time together.

• Grace (39:10): "I'm so scared of texts and DM's, especially. For some reason, my brain is like, I can't open this."

  Grace reveals her anxiety towards receiving direct messages, highlighting the stress of maintaining digital interactions.

Their anecdotes illustrate a broader trend of communication breakdowns in relationships, exacerbated by technology and differing personal habits.

6. Concerns About Society's Psyche

The episode concludes with Whitney expressing deep concerns about the collective mental state and societal behaviors.

• Whitney (37:35): "We're getting desensitized in really weird ways. And I do think that selfies and self documenting is like the new alcoholism."

  She warns of the pervasive impact of self-focus and the loss of genuine human interactions.

• Grace (41:03): "Have a distinguishable sense of style."

  Grace echoes the sentiment that authenticity in personal expression is dwindling, leading to a fragmented societal identity.

Whitney and Grace advocate for greater self-awareness and deliberate efforts to reconnect with reality, emphasizing the importance of authentic human connections over superficial online personas.

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Memorable Quotes with Timestamps

• Whitney (00:46): "It's like blazer. I love that the most unemployed, the people that have been in offices the least now wear the most blazers."

• Grace (05:06): "Running calm, and do it. You should."

• Whitney (12:03): "This is the year that everything switched. Like, the left became the censorship people and the right started hiring women."

• Whitney (29:02): "It's literally like, I'm playing the app. It's called alone. Yeah, totally. It's called, like, ignore."

• Whitney (35:31): "This is a very real addiction. I do wonder, though, like, are we gonna look back in 20 years and be like, remember when you could just be on your phone all day and didn't have to 100 sign in?"

• Grace (39:10): "I'm so scared of texts and DM's, especially. For some reason, my brain is like, I can't open this."

---

Conclusion

In "Everything is Broken," Whitney Cummings and Grace provide a sharp, humorous, and introspective look at the fractures within modern society. From fashion mishaps and political frustrations to the pervasive influence of social media and the erosion of genuine relationships, the episode offers a blend of comedy and critical commentary. Their candid exchanges not only entertain but also invite listeners to reflect on the complexities of navigating a seemingly fragmented world.

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments interspersed throughout the episode have been omitted to focus solely on the content-bearing discussions.

Transcript

[A]

Hey everyone. Big Baby comedy tour is about to buck up and come to even more cities near you. We are doing Boston and Connecticut this weekend and then we are going to start up again with like 20 or 30 new cities that will be announced first week of December. So stand by. Come into your city. Can't wait. Whitneycombings.com Bat Bap. So are we rolling, Pat? I'm on one. Action. I'm. I can't. Addison Rae is my favorite singer. Done good. Don't ride elephants. That's the whole episode. That's the whole bunch.

[B]

That's all.

[A]

There's nothing else to say.

[B]

Her fashion choice, like, whoever her stylist is, deserves a fat raise. She always looks great and in an interesting way.

[A]

Grace, you know what I love about you?

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

We agree on literally nothing and it never makes a dent in my respect for you. I think she dresses like Melanie Griffith and working girl meets like an American Apparel ad back when they were like, porn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's never a pattern. There's never a pomp or circumstance.

[B]

That's my aesthetic.

[A]

It's like blazer. I love that the most unemployed, the people that have been in offices the least now wear the most blazers. Like, why are you dressed like you're paralegal in the early 90s? You're 22.

[B]

Well, it's also like, I think the, the trend, the trend cycle is coming back. We're like, do you remember in like 2008 when it was like, oh, I'm going out tonight. I'm going to wear a blazer to the club.

[A]

Dude, it's bad. Do not get me started.

[B]

Plum top on.

[A]

How pencil skirt obsessed I am with we are going to the club to get roofied in pinstripes. Like, we're going to have to sue these guys tomorrow. So let's just wear what we're going to wear to court tomorrow at the club. Like, we'll be read first thing in the morning. I mean, there was a time where bb it was like white collared shirt, button down vest. We're so confused about how to be like, have any kind of respect or power. We're like, I'll just wear a suit to the clock.

[B]

CEO.

[A]

Yeah. Like, we're just like, I guess we just wear office wear all the time. Is this how we get taken seriously? I mean, as soon as women went into the office in the 80s, they just started wearing like men's suits. Yeah.

[B]

Shoulder pads.

[A]

They're like, let me just look like a linebacker. Will this help me not get sexually assaulted? At work, like, what do I do? And then, so it's just like, we'll wear suits to the club. Like, how do I be a slut? But also, like, right? I, like, hire me.

[B]

It's like Britney Spears if she just stayed in the Hit me baby one more time music video for the rest of her life.

[A]

I also feel so sick. I feel like that happened. Knife me, baby. I just. I also feel like when you're. What is Addison Rae, 20? Something?

[B]

Like 22.

[A]

When you're 22, like, you're so ready to be taken seriously.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You want to be an adult so bad, dude.

[B]

When I was 22 and I got my first job in Hollywood, I was the receptionist at a talent agency in Burbank.

[A]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. The idea that Grace was the warm, vocal welcome. Oh, like.

[B]

That'S so funny that.

[A]

Can I help you?

[B]

The guy who owned the company, who was, like, the head agent there when. So I started in, like, September. Holidays roll around.

[A]

Wasn't feeling well. Came to work in January.

[B]

Right? Exactly. No. Holidays roll around. He's like, you know, we're doing, like, a big company dinner. The company only had, like, 30 people that worked at it, maybe. So we were going to, like, a steakhouse and to do this dinner. And he comes up to me at my desk during work, and he's like, you know, back in the day, we would have done a roast. Like, we usually do a roast every year for the holidays, but because of me, too, like, I don't want to get canceled. But if we were going to do a roast, here's what I would say about. You proceeded to roast me at my desk. And he said, you're the first receptionist we've had who, when she answers the phone, it sounds like she's a pack a day smoker. Hello? Talent works.

[A]

That is so wild.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Okay, so I would like to draw some boundaries with just all y'all. The election's done. It's done. Can we all stop it? No one. No one is. Wants to hear how hard it was for you. No one wants to hear what happened. No one's counting anything. Any. They're not being counted. Yeah, it's just. You gotta accept it. It's like when. When a girl gets broken up with and she's like, I just need closure. No, you don't.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You cut your losses. Get out of here. Move. I. I can't. If you know the people, like, well, here's what happened in you. You do it. You run for Office.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you. I am now at a point where I'm like, if you have any thoughts about politics, you have to just run for office. If you know, you see. You know what? You seem to really know what you're talking about. Yeah, I think get in there, go to election.netmonster.org LinkedIn.

[B]

God.

[A]

Running calm, and do it. You should. Honestly, I'm not even kidding, though, because it's like the fact that people. And then there's only psychopaths run for office. There's no one that's not insane.

[B]

You have to be criminally insane to want that.

[A]

But the only people more insane are the ones that don't run and just talk about it all day.

[B]

Well, also, here's the thing is, it's like, if you're making a video breaking down, like, here's what the Democrats need to do differently. It's like, do you want them to give you a job? You could just apply for a job.

[A]

Here's what the Democrats need to do differently. I don't think it's that complicated. Maybe stop using P. Diddy's ex girlfriend to try to put you over the finish line.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not that hard.

[B]

No.

[A]

Maybe don't pay megan Thee Stallion $5 million to twerk at a. Like, can we. Is it. No one's confused about what happened?

[B]

No.

[A]

No one's baffled. If you're baffled about why it went this way, like, get a Southwest ticket. Go to San Antonio.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Go to a mall and just, like, introduce yourself to people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Get, like, get out of your simulation of I Salon, huffington post.com. and just, like, go out. Like, I don't. If you're confused, you're, like, a dangerous person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I cannot engage with you because it's like, I don't know where to start. But I do think there's people who are like, that love being a victim and, like, need the. Like, if I hear this one more time, I mean, after these last couple weeks, you know, we really. We really need something. You know, we need that. Like, it's like, what? What? I don't know. I'm looking. If you want to. I'm on some text chain. I don't even know who it was. I didn't even program them in. That's how little I respect them. And they're like, places to go if you want to leave America, dude. Like, how Brat. The brat still has not ended. We are fully. Brat is this Brat, is this what brat is? Maybe I missed what brat was.

[B]

I could be Is this brat.

[A]

I'm lonely. I'm going to take my toys and go home. Cool. Go. Go to England where their government is a prom.

[B]

They still wear wigs.

[A]

Go do that. Go. Go with the incest people. Yeah, they're all bald at 25. No one thinks that's weird. Go to the one. Go. The one where they killed a fashion icon, Princess Diane. Go. Yeah, go there.

[B]

You think the media here is bad?

[A]

Go where they're born into power. Go do that. Go where we all just let this old lady. We talk about people being too old age, living.

[B]

You think Joe Biden was old? She was like, almost 100, dude.

[A]

She had 14 corgis on their tax dollars. And people were fine with that.

[B]

Yeah, she was just, like, mining diamonds in what?

[A]

Dude?

[B]

With public money, dude.

[A]

The diamonds are not theirs. They have a museum of jewelry that.

[B]

They stole from Africa.

[A]

No one.

[B]

The entire continent of Africa.

[A]

And you think our politicians are racist? I mean, it's. Let's just. I know it's easy to, like, get really spoiled because we live in America, but let's just. Can we not. And people. Well, Scandinavia is. They have a million people.

[B]

How many people?

[A]

Denmark. How many people are in Denmark? 7, 9. Like King of Prussia Mall. That many people? However many.

[B]

Mark has almost 6 million people.

[A]

Yeah, same. Same. 6 million. That's a million.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Population wise.

[A]

Yeah, it's like you're 30, right? You know what I mean? Go do it. Go pay 60% of your taxes to them. And you go. Because this is the problem. This is. This is why America has a bad reputation. Because the only people that leave it are the bratty, annoying ones and they represent all of us. No, the cool ones are here. The cool ones aren't going to Scandinavia. Like, how do I move here? Because America sucks.

[B]

Well, it's also like, you're gonna get up and move to a different country. You don't even know how to renew your vehicle registration. Like, you. Your plates are three years out of date.

[A]

Yeah, you figured that.

[B]

You think you're going to get a visa?

[A]

You think throwing soup at a painting is going to fix glaciers? I don't. I. I don't know what to tell you. You know what I mean? You follow Greta Thunberg? She's a. No, she's a kid. Whether. If the only thing weirder than being sexually attracted to a kid is being into their ideas.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, if you think a child has, like, good points, there's something wrong. If anyone actually sees a 14 year old that's not their kid talking and actually hear the words, you should be go to jail.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I.

[A]

When children talk, I don't. It's like I don't hear them.

[B]

Also, we're forgetting that Greta Thunberg, her whole thing was like, it was a school strike for climate change. It's like, that kind of sounds like a kid who just didn't want to go to school.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, dude, we did that too. We prayed for climate change. We were like, snow day. Snow day.

[B]

Exactly. What a dork would love a polar vortex right now. God damn it.

[A]

Like, the idea of, like, what you'll do to get out of school when you're 14, you're like, I guess I got to just get famous. I'd rather.

[B]

I got to start a movement.

[A]

I'd rather get famous than go to school. I mean, it's just kind of like the. This. I don't know. This is just the year that we broke as a species. Like, I mean, it did start with Greta Thunberg when we were all like, hey, hey, shut up. The 13 year old has making some good points. Do you know what I mean? Like, what? I don't. This is the year. I don't know, to me, because the election happened and I feel like we forgot about all the months before October. Like, people, like, things are crazy. They've been crazy. Like, this is the year the world. We talk about transition. This is the year the world transitioned. America now identifies as something new. Like, we identify like, things. Dude, things got so weird. We started watching the wnba. That's how weird things no one, like, it's been. So this is the year that everything switched. Like, the left became the censorship people and the right started hiring women. It was like, wait, right? What? Like, I don't know. I. I mean, Taylor Swift made it. So now women started liking football. Now, like, women are obsessed with football. Men are watching the wnba. Like, I don't know. And then men started talking about their feelings on camera. All of a sudden, every guy needs to, like, talk about how they're insecure. Men have eating disorders now and they're just like, in ketos. Like, Twitter became a feed for politics and TikTok became the home shopping network. Like, I don't. Everything switched. We started relying on politicians for comedy and comedians for news. You know what I'm saying? Like, is like, everything's like backwards land.

[B]

This is the year that, like, leftists were like, no sports. We've loved sports the whole time. Like, Women like women playing basketball.

[A]

As long as trans people are playing, we care.

[B]

Well, they're just like, no, women's basketball is fun. And you guys haven't been tuning in.

[A]

I love the idea that, like, what channel is it? Even Hardy's, like, so pro. Supposed to be pro woman. Like, the left is like, as soon as it became about protecting like a, you know, like trans people. Like, trans people need to play basketball. How. How does it work? Is that the point guard? Like, they know nothing. They're not sports people, so they have no clue how it works. They're like, she should be running the harpoon dizzle the. With the sand at the end. I don't know. I guess I just also feel like this was the year that everybody started thinking everything was fake. Like, we knew this was coming, but this was the year that I can't tell because when someone says something's fake, I also feel like they don't have a good argument. You know what I mean? Like, like people will use that as an out of it. I think that, like, AI and CGI and chat has been a good excuse for people that, like, just don't have a good opinion. They'll be, yeah, well, that's not true. That's not. That picture is not real. That's not. That's not true. Like, that's not like, okay, you. You don't have a good argument.

[B]

Well, it's also the perfect ammo for people who don't know what the they're talking about. They're like, no, there's a picture. You're like, a computer made that. Yeah.

[A]

I looked at the metadata and I am a man in stem, so it's just like, you can't. You're not smarter than me because you decided it's fake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which you don't. You can't even prove that.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, you don't have an argument. It's like, it's like, like with the Tyson fight, everyone's like, it's rigged. It's rigged. It's like. And then the Trump assassination. It's fake. It's fake. Two people died, right? They're.

[B]

Are they fake?

[A]

Like, like there's like, it's fake. It's fake because they don't know what to say about it. You know, like, at this point, everything's fake. It's fake, it's fake. The only thing people think is real at this point is a 10 day old fetal cell. What?

[B]

Well, the, the everything is fake is funny because, like, the conspiracy theorists who are like 911 was fake. Like I feel like that's a big one now. And it's like I don't know if you've ever like. Cuz you know, they.

[A]

It's not fake. It's what we were told is not what happened.

[B]

Right? But like they have a memorial where they put every single person's name down. Right. If you've ever tried to write a script, the second you have to name a character, you're like, fuck, what's a name?

[A]

What's the name? Oh my God. It's always a Lily. Like no name.

[B]

You Ash, Lexus.

[A]

Fuck. I don't know.

[B]

What are names?

[A]

Google names. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You think somebody came up with like thousands of names?

[A]

Oh, that's so funny.

[B]

That's the hard. That's the hardest thing in the world to do. What are you talking about? It can't be fake.

[A]

They had to come up with thousands.

[B]

Of names and write them in stone.

[A]

But that's also so funny because like, like it starts to get so probably anti Semitic. Like John Stein. Was this a. What. What were the job? What were the. The things.

[B]

Oh my God. Which floors? Like bank.

[A]

They're like, okay, so there was a law firm. So Mark, John, Shirley. I don't hire women. Like just the idea that they're just like stereotyping what names would happen in certain businesses.

[B]

Like they're like three custodians.

[A]

Kevin, Jorge. Is that too on the. Hey, that's not. I'm. I'm faking a tragedy. I don't want to be like racist.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like that's. No.

[B]

We have to keep it grounded in realism.

[A]

That is so funny to me. It was also like when the, you know, like the part like there's like. That's as extreme as like the Parkland survivors or like school shooting survivors are like actors and like, look, I've had to audition teenage actors. Do you know what I mean? I worked on icarly and like they're. They suck at acting. Teenagers can't act. They can't. All the good ones aren't going to get sent to Florida, right? To do a.

[B]

Well, they're. They're doing Disney during. At nighttime.

[A]

Sabrina Carpenter. If you got talent, you're Sabrina Carpenter. You're not. You're not. You're going into the Disney machine. You're not headed down to Pensacola for the, you know, the fake shooting.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

You know what I mean? But also I'm kind of like when people like 911 was fake moon landing was here's my moon landing. I'm currently I change my mind every day. I currently my gut is we went but we didn't get photo. How could we have gotten or something.

[B]

They had a camera already set up.

[A]

There's no way right? Something's fishy about it. We all know that. But even if this stuff was big, you wouldn't know. No, you know like that's the it's maybe a woman not you space with.

[B]

My below average size brain.

[A]

As soon as they put a teacher on that thing it just like the.

[B]

Even the spaceship went.

[A]

The spaceship. No, dude, I'm not. No. Are you out of your mind? Ever stand in front of a wall at a wine store not knowing what to pick? Naked wines makes it simple and fun to get award winning wines from independent winemakers delivered straight to your door. With Naked wines you can get six bottles of wine for 39.99 with shipping included. These are premium bottles curated for your taste and they make the perfect gift. Or just get a little treat for yourself. To get started, go to nakedwines.com Whitney use the code Whitney for both the promo code and the passwords. Nakedwines.com Whitney code Whitney drink some Naked wines. I got a kid out of it. Oh everybody look, I just. You know this by now. This show is sponsored by Better Help. How could it not be? You know, look, when it comes to mental health, I think we all know that I'm the paragon of mental health. Gratitude is something that has been a big part of my mental health fitness. Okay? And you know, giving thanks not just to others, but to ourselves. You know, showing up and trying to do our best every day. You guys know that I make a gratitude list constantly. I learned this from a therapist, but also a great way to show gratitude. Like celebrations example, but also therapy is a great way to show gratitude and self compassion. I am splitting my attention so that my baby doesn't fall over and slam his head on one of my stupid chachis. BetterHelp makes starting therapy easy. It's entirely online, flexible and designed to fit your schedule. You can switch therapists at any time with no additional cost. Therapy can empower you to be the best version of yourself. Whether it's learning positive coping skills, setting boundaries or just managing life challenge life's challenges or trying to navigate the dangers of just a child in your podcast studio. Let the gratitude flow with better help. Visit betterhelp.com Whitney to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. HP.com. whitney, even if you're right, it's a guess. You're guessing. Even if you are correct, you wouldn't know Mike from Jiffy Lube.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

You know what I mean? Honestly, if we faked it, I actually think that's more impressive.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, completely.

[A]

Like, the fact that it's like, oh, there was a time where the government could collaborate and get along in a way that's harmonious and communicate and not like, you know, not a single PA.

[B]

Complained about the behavior on that set.

[A]

Well done. It totally great when they shot it. Like, no one got sexually harassed on the set of fake moon landing. Like, there were no Nothing.

[B]

No. And the NDA didn't get leaked. Nobody. Nobody said anything like, yeah, that's the.

[A]

Crew that shot the fake moon landing. Can they. Can they come out of retirement? Because we can't make shows here. Like, we're.

[B]

Whitney will explain to you how all NDAs are fake. If you guys need help.

[A]

I feel like people are fighting the fact that. That we're in a time. We will look back on history books like, oh, that's when. Oh, yeah, people broke.

[B]

Lost their minds.

[A]

People are like. And this should have happened. You're still living as if there's any semblance of civility or, like, mental health or shared reality. No one has a shared reality. You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, I think this also. Yeah. Yes. I think this also goes back to, like, the, like, rise in, like, people therapizing everything. Like, being like, your feelings are valid. Everything that you feel and, like, think is valid.

[A]

Feelings aren't facts. That's what we. That's what we do in this home.

[B]

Yes. But it's also like, yeah, everything I feel is right. Like, if the therapists on TikTok are telling me that everything that I feel is valid and I feel that this thing is true, then, like, it's true.

[A]

Honestly. Godspeed.

[B]

Godspeed.

[A]

Every time I have a feeling, I'm like, that's not right. No, there's no way that's true.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

In what world would I have the appropriate reaction to this with this brain?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I was on. I was on Prozac two days this weekend, and I got detained at Universal. I mean, we're not. I'm not. I don't default to my gut instinct. Were you looking for back there? You know, you know, a smurf or.

[B]

I was like, did you just sneak. Like, did you. How did.

[A]

You can get away with a lot if you just carry yourself with a plum yeah, that's actually so true. Uh, but if you just act like you belong there. Um, but I was performing at Hard Rock at Universal, and I'm, you know, I'm obsessed with theme park, like, lore, with, like, the underground of Disney and, like, the princesses. And, like, I'm really into former Disney princess YouTube, where they, like, snitch on everything. And so I was just walking around Universal. Like, I just love the. Like, same with casinos. Like, I just love the. Like, it's like a city. And I was just looking. It was so benign. I was like, what's this? Like, this is a ride that's broken. And, you know, a kid probably got hung on that. I don't know. I was probably fair. It's fair. Like, there were so many golf carts surrounding me, and I was like, no, no, I'm performing.

[B]

And they were like, doesn't matter.

[A]

We know. Like, we can't. You can't do this, right? We've got rules. Like, we don't get paid to let you get us in trouble. Oh, my God. And then it was off my TikTok, like, right away.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Oh, it was just down. Well, they were like, you need to take that down. And I was like, let me.

[B]

Let it.

[A]

It's kind of. Yeah, it's in the algorithm.

[B]

Oh, I haven't looked at my phone in a while.

[A]

I know, but it's, like, in the.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not getting why. Like, it was. It hits. I was like, I'll do it.

[B]

Like, you're like, let me make three bucks off of this.

[A]

Let me, like, get the metric screen. Grab it, you know, to, you know, get that paid partnership with the zit stickers or whatever. I just think we all need to just update our software on our expectations for human behavior. Okay. Like, this was the year things got so wild. We all started thinking, you know, maybe the Menendez brothers weren't so bad.

[B]

They're hot.

[A]

Maybe the Menendez brothers should. We should let them out to set a good example for every. We were just like, this was the year that dating got so bad that women were like, you know what? I've swiped unhinged. I think it's time for the Menendez brothers to get. So I can swipe right on the one that. The younger one.

[B]

Well, women were also like, hey, girls. If he wanted to, he would kill his parents.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I don't. I mean, that's the ultimate.

[B]

If you wanted to, he would. He did.

[A]

We need someone who can protect me in a zombie apocalypse.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I need A man who looked his dad in the eye and shot him in the face. Like, where is that guy?

[B]

You know, a man of action.

[A]

This was just really the year that people acted so insane. People just were like, Scott Peterson, such a bad guy. Did you see the documentary? I don't know. I think we. I think we overthought that. I feel like we owe Scott Peterson. We need to give that a second gander. We started. We started murderers, started being our hero. Like, we started ethically. Things got so morally backwards. We started looking to murderers as our, like, icon legends. Gypsy Rose.

[B]

Gypsy fucking Rose got out of prison. Million followers on TikTok within, like, two hours.

[A]

Because ordering the murder of your mother is so brat.

[B]

Kind of fine.

[A]

Her mom is a monster. Fine. She faked Gypsy's illnesses, but she took Gypsy to every doctor except the one to fix her eye. I just. I'm just saying.

[B]

So.

[A]

So she went to all the doctors except the optometrist. I don't. I'd like to see the. The bill, the invoices.

[B]

I also. I want to know. I would. I wish that she hadn't killed her mom, because I want to know what health insurance they have. Like, you were going to doctors and being like, order the test. And they were like, yes, ma'am.

[A]

That's so just idea. Like, hold on. So you just had. You have health care?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait. I would die to go to 12 doctors a week.

[B]

Yeah. What do you. They were running blood. They drew her blood multiple times, by the way.

[A]

Have you looked or. I think she had it. I don't. I'm not. I'm not convinced that this mother. I think. I think she was. They were correct. I think the mom knew. You know what I mean? Obviously, the mom was on to something. If she's like, something's wrong with this kid. If you take your daughter to a bunch of doctors, the solution isn't to have someone kill you. It's to be like, mom, I'm not going.

[B]

Right. Tell a neighbor I'm a grown up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your mom gave you too much medical care.

[B]

It's also like, instead of telling anybody else, you, like, found a guy on Hinge. This is the one time a guy on Hinge came through or whatever. Dating app.

[A]

That's really funny.

[B]

This is the one time they came through and look what happened.

[A]

Unhinged.

[B]

You don't want them. This is a cautionary tale.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess I know that her mom seems like a. A real dud, but Anyone that can convince someone to murder someone is way worse.

[B]

That's actually a very fair point, you.

[A]

Know, But I would also defend the Menendez brothers all day long.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why is that? That they were. They had to do that. I don't know. Cancer.

[B]

Their dad was a fucking creep.

[A]

And they're kind of hot.

[B]

They're kind of hot.

[A]

Such a bummer.

[B]

All right.

[A]

This was the year that we all just degenerated into. I think we just got lobotomies from social media. I mean, it was the year of elder abuse. We literally made Mike Tyson come out and fight a. The Menendez brothers were kind enough to put their parents out of their misery quick. They didn't make them fight a youtuber right in front of Kid Rock.

[B]

That would be so much worse.

[A]

And then keep living.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's one thing to kill old people, but to, like, humiliate them over time.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm glad that we're like, on to the, you know, kids shouldn't act and. But we forget about ageism, dude.

[B]

I. Every time I go to, like, a store and there's an elderly person, like, working, like, doing like a hourly, like, low paying job, it my heart, I'm like, I'm never going outside again, dude.

[A]

If I see so bleak. If I see someone over 50 embraces, I'll cry for a week. That's my toxic trait. Like, I can't handle it. I'm like, braces. Who are you seeing over. You know, when you see somebody's like 50 who has braces? And I'm just like, like, it. I can't. Like, if I think about it, I'll get emotional.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

The takeaway, I think seems to be this year is like, we're more divided than ever. I keep hearing that. I'm like, no, I disagree. I do disagree with that. I think we need to put. I believe that we are actually way more unified than it seems. Like, like, we. We came together on a lot of things this year, right? Number one, elderly people should be abused publicly, emotionally and otherwise, you know, but we did come together, like, as a nation. We all decided unanimously that we did not want to see Jennifer Lopez in concert. We all unanimously decided we're not eating at Kevin Hart's fast food chain. We're just not like, it's like, I don't know. I just. Although it was like a depressed, it was depressing. I mean, this year I was like, looking back at like the movies and TV show. America's so depressed, baby. Reindeer was the most uplifting, celebrated comedy of the year.

[B]

The number one comedy of the season.

[A]

I watched it. I was like, what? This must be like, are it just brutal, Dude. We are so gone mentally that the bright spot of the year was seeing a pygmy hippo being abused at a zoo. It was also the year that we, like, don't care about old people, but if you harm a squirrel.

[B]

Oh, my God. Wait. The craziest thing happened to me on the way here. I was walking to my car, and a man on a bike was biking down the sidewalk, like, full speed, stopped right in front of me, and I was like, oh, my. What's about to happen? This is kind of alarming, but he was, like, looking at the ground, and then he reaches behind his back, and I was like, again, what's about to happen? Pulls out a bag of peanuts, and he goes, hey, squirrel, I brought you some peanuts. Was talking to the squirrel on the ground next to me.

[A]

Did you get his number?

[B]

No, he. I mean, he was not my type.

[A]

Is he single?

[B]

Single? Boulder.

[A]

We were. One time, my guy and I were. Which, by the way, our biggest fight right now. I don't know how to, like, get through it. Is that he will play the game Solitaire on his phone. I do, too, while we're hanging out.

[B]

Oh, that's bad. That's. That adhd.

[A]

He just went the name, and it's. I mean, it is just like, you're, like, single. It's. The word is single.

[B]

It's the same as being on a dating app.

[A]

It's literally like, I'm playing the app. It's called alone. Yeah, totally. It's called, like, ignore.

[B]

Like, it's called get the fuck away from me.

[A]

But also, you understand this is such a small thing. Like, when you're on your phone with someone, it is like, if 10 years ago, you were talking to me and I just pulled out a magazine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or just, like, started reading a book.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's the same. Or just like, it's a television. You're watching television while we're talking. It is.

[B]

I love the idea of, like, Chris actually, like, pulling out a full deck of cards and, like, dealing himself out a game of solitary.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

While you're talking.

[A]

That is the equivalent. It is the same thing. Like, in bed, while we're, like, talking about our day. He's like, I'm solitary. I am. I'm like, I. It. Because I told. I told him. I was like, if this were not to Work out and people like, what happened? Like, did. Were there any. Like, I feel like I should have known Solitaire. When he. In a movie, you would put. That is the thing. Like, Matthew McConaughey.

[B]

That's the foreshadowing. Yeah.

[A]

He would play solitaire. Yeah. We were together. It was right there.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, that.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

That actually brings us to the topic we were going to talk about earlier, which is I'm worried about our psyche as a species. I would like to. I'm so embarrassed that my guy's in the room for this, though. I would like to call myself out for. I don't even know how to say it. I'm so embarrassed. I just noticed that I take selfies sometimes and I don't know who. They're four. And it's this weird obligation where, like, I'll, like, get on a plane or something and just be like. And just. I don't.

[B]

I was here. I lived. I loved.

[A]

Is this me being like, I'm alive? Can you see me? Can you see me? Am I. Am I.

[B]

Can you see me?

[A]

Does everyone see me? Like, I don't. Is it. It's like the. The ex machina moment where he puts, like, a razor blade. Like, I don't know if we're all, like, unclear if we still exist or not. Honestly, I'm glad that I do. It is as cringe as it is, because these days in Hollywood, you need evidence of where you are at all times. When someone's like, we're in a white party. I'm like, nope. I was taking an embarrassing selfie on Southwest Proof, and I'm just trying to figure out, society wise, what it is. Like, I went to dinner and I saw there was a girl taking a photo, and it's, like, obligatory. It used to be this is when I chime in on something. Not when it's weird. When it's no longer weird. It's no longer weird to go in a bathroom and see a girl taking a photo of herself in the mirror. In the mirror.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where the Goes. Where the shit goes. Like, it's just like when you. You don't want anyone to know you're going to the bathroom, right? It's like, I'm going to the restroom. Like, I don't. And you're like, boom. In the bathroom. Just took a whiz. Like, it is so wild to me. Girls are just grabbing a plunger is like a selfie stick. Like, it's. If you're ever injured, check out Morgan and Morgan Life can be unpredictable. If you're injured due to someone else's negligence. For example, if you're a baby in your mom's podcast studio and she's allowing you to pick up dangerous things. Okay, Morgan and Morgan, you deserve compensation. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm with over 100 offices and more than 1,000 lawyers fighting for you. They've recovered over 20 billion from more than half a million clients. So you can focus. I know you can focus on healing while they handle the rest. If you're ever injured, Visit for the people.com Whitney or dial pound law pound 52 from your phone. That's for the people.com Whitney or pound law pound 529. This is a paid advertisement. Are y'all looking for the perfect holiday gift? I am obsessed with this look. I have one myself. I'm not even joshing you. Skylight Frame is a touchscreen digital photo frame that makes staying connected easier than ever. With Skylight, you can share photos from your phone directly to the frame. I have one. I'm obsessed. You just take a photo, email it. Here it is right here. It's easy to use. See that? Look at that. It takes less than a minute to set up. It looks beautiful in any home. You can even preload it with photos before you give it as a gift, making it personal, meaningful. And I mean, this is my favorite. If someone gave me this, I would be so stoked. Like all you do is take a picture. A bunch of people can have the email and just send it, you know. And look, some of these are probably me like giving birth. So okay, there. See, there is a little pip squeak right now. As a special offer to our listeners, get $20 off your purchase at skylight frame.com/wh Whitney. That's Skylight S K Y L I g h t frame.com Whitney could not recommend it more highly. Don't be a goofball. Over 380 people have died taking selfies. This is my cause. People are falling off cliffs because they had to take a picture of their face at the edge of a cliff. A woman basically had her brain and like blended into the pavement because she was taking a selfie in front of the propeller of a plane. Let me be clear. No one likes planes. They don't like the inside, they don't like the outside. No one cares that you took one. There's nothing impressive about a plane. Unless you're like, I'm about to get on this Boeing jet. Yeah, exactly. Even that. Even then, no one Planes are. They're the. The DMV of the sky. No one wants to hear about it. No one. No one. Like when people like, how was your flight? I'm like, what do you think? I have to. What are you. Has anyone ever been like, super sick? It was so fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I flew the plane. They let me. Like, no, it's always like, oh God, I got leprosy and the guy next to me gave me tetanus and the other guy was fingering me while I was asleep. Like, it's never good.

[B]

No.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, the flight attendant punched me in the neck. Like there's never a good. And then when we landed, they charged me an extra thousand dollars. Just cuz.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause yeah, they're like, give me your phone. Venmo me a thousand.

[B]

We don't like your phone.

[A]

Knows why. Like, it's never just the idea that. Eddie, have you ever looked at a photo of someone in airplane and be like, cool.

[B]

So jealous.

[A]

Just like, like, say, like why you were near a plane. Like, you're just like, oh. Like, why are you in tr. I'm triggered. Like, why are. This is the one day I don't have to think about a plane and you just made me.

[B]

It is extremely like 2 year old board book behavior. Like the thick. The thick cardboard books that two year olds read. It's just like, T is for train snap. P is for plane snap. But C is for car and C is also for cat. It's like, what?

[A]

But also you're the plane of people. If a plane was a per. Like, just like, oh, this again. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, I have to get on a flight today. It's like I have to fall. Like, if you are posting plane photos that you got killed in a prop. You've been muted so long ago. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't even worth the propeller to.

[B]

The head views 30.

[A]

No one's been watching. If this is your taste in selfies, like, you haven't had an audience for a while. So that was just. I mean, there's a video. I know I talk about a lot of a guy taking a selfie with a bear in India and he's getting eaten by the bear as he's taking the selfie. Like, I'm worried that we forgot what's actually dangerous.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Worse. Like you called me a they them and this is dangerous. No, dude, trains are dangerous. Bears apex. Like, we are so gone as a species that we forgot what has.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pork.

[B]

I don't know, there's an entire documentary about a guy who, like, wanted to go to, like, went to Alaska a bunch of times to, like, take videos of himself with grizzly bears, and then he got mauled.

[A]

Not Grizzly Man. Oh.

[B]

And it's like, I could talk about.

[A]

It all day long.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Oh, well, no, he brought a woman who was on her period.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Also, he was weirdly gay.

[B]

Well, that's a whole.

[A]

And it was a different. He went back and it was a different.

[B]

It was later.

[A]

Here's what's tricky, though.

[B]

If you haven't seen Grizzly man, the seminal documentary by Werner Herzog, you must.

[A]

It was a different pack of bears. Also, not to say that the original pack of bears that he was friends with wouldn't have done the same thing. They don't give a. Yeah.

[B]

Like, it was later in the season. They were about to go into hibernation. It was. They were getting desperate.

[A]

And bears correct each other.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So even if they think you're a bear, they might correct you and you die. You know them just. Them just going. Right. It's like horses correct each other by kicking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It won't hurt the horse. It won't hurt the other bear, but it'll hurt you. Because we're like trash bags full of blood. We're at the, you know, edge of death at every moment. But I just am, like, concerned at our comfort level.

[B]

Well, the whole point of that documentary is, like, how crazy, like, this guy's, like, need to be seen drove him.

[A]

To die because he thought that was the thing that was getting him attention. He started getting attention by hanging out with the bears.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You get close. I just think we're getting desensitized in really weird ways. And I do think that selfies and self documenting is like the new alcoholism, where we're just offline. Like, we watched that. Whatever. That YouTuber driving into a accident wouldn't stop streaming. Like, this is a very real addiction. I do wonder, though, like, are we gonna look back in 20 years and be like. Remember when you could just like, be on your phone all day and didn't have to 100 sign in? You know, remember when you could just go on Twitter whenever you wanted and not apply for the mental test that would allow you 30 minutes every two days? You know what I mean? There's gonna be something. Don't you think?

[B]

Yes. I mean, it's so, like, it's even. Even. Like, I think I have, like, a pretty, like, a relatively fine brain. Like, you know, I don't have any, like, crazy impulses or like, a degree.

[A]

You're kind of, like, very. I don't think it's restrained. I don't think it's active. But you're very like, whatever. With social media in the phone, I feel like, yeah, Grace will text me back days after I text her.

[B]

Well, that's because I'm scared of texts. Not you texts.

[A]

Are you. I'm scared of phone calls.

[B]

I'm so scared of texts and DM. DMs, especially. For some reason, my brain is like, I can't open this.

[A]

I still haven't opened a DM from Linus Morissette.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's exactly that.

[A]

Can't. So scared of DM's pet pit in my stomach.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Also, if you're DMing me and you have my number.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Drink Windex. Like, I. We're like, we're. It's honestly like, I, I, I'm fine not being friends. Just. Why do it this way?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're creating work.

[B]

Sending me something. That's one. Like, if you're like, oh, here's this funny, like, picture that I thought you might like of a guy getting killed by a grizzly.

[A]

I've seen it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

No one needs to send me anything. I got it. But also, like, I got it.

[B]

When somebody's like, so anyways, like, want to get lunch next week? It's like, text me.

[A]

Hey, guys, stop sending me this horse stick. Rodeo girl. I got it.

[B]

She's living it.

[A]

I got it. There's a horse that went into a hospital. I know. I got it. Like, I, I don't. I got. It's just. Here's a horse sweater. I. Yes, I have it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. She already bought it from Etsy.

[A]

Get out of here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

I do send you horse sweaters.

[A]

I got you, of all people.

[B]

I know, but they're always from Etsy. They're always one of them.

[A]

Okay, good.

[B]

They're always.

[A]

Oh, don't even.

[B]

Oh, this is different.

[A]

We're gonna get into this. Oh, I. Oh, don't even get me started. We're okay. This is our big pet peeve right now. If you have the audacity to send me a new horse sweater that is new, never worn. $400 from the state. States. I don't care.

[B]

Mother denim.

[A]

Mother denim. Okay. When I have the original, that is based on. If you think I'm gonna spend 400 on a new sweater. Because it's, like, in style now to be, like, a crazy horse person. Where were you when I was getting destroyed on the Internet for being crazy for wearing horse sweaters? And now. Yeah, it's, like, cute.

[B]

It's all the way in now.

[A]

It's cute.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was crazy. I was a weirdo. I was like, only wore things with horses on it. And now you are trying to, like, act like, get out of here. This is. I'm obsessed with the fact that everyone has now decided that their country.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't know if it was just after the election happened and Trump won, everyone was like, put on a cowboy hat.

[B]

You all want to go to step in later?

[A]

Everyone's like, put on some cowboy boots. Maybe they'll think on the right side.

[B]

Feel like it's time for me to crack a shine or.

[A]

But trying to get on the winning team bandwagon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I'm one of you guys, I promise. And it's just like, there's this whole new thing where I'm like, I don't know if men just realized that wearing, you know, cowboy boots would add an inch of height. I don't know what happened. I'm sure it was Beyonce going country and all this stuff, but it's like, this is the one time I've ever been like, my culture is not your costume, and you can't just dress like a cowboy as a. You're wearing a costume. Also, a cowboy is a job.

[B]

Right. Right.

[A]

It's like wearing a UPS uniform.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can't just wear. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

It's like the adult version of, like, walking around in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. It's a uniform.

[A]

It's like the ymca. There's a cowboy. It's like a.

[B]

The boots are shaped like that for, like, what are they called? The. That come off syrups.

[A]

Yeah. You can't. But you can't just be a cowboy. All that's not. It's. You don't. It's like, I can't just be like, I'm still looking valley now. I'm gonna. We're like a Patagonia and, like, New Balance. Like, everyone be like, what are you doing?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you can't. You can't just change your entire personality. It's. It's also a belief system, and it's a. It's like punk. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't. You can't buy. You can't be fake punk.

[B]

No. Well, I was gonna say, like, you.

[A]

Can'T Buy new punk. It's like, you can't buy new.

[B]

You're, like, taking, like, like, jeans and you're like, take. Putting them in the street and, like, running them over with your Tesla to make it look like you were, like, out on the range.

[A]

I'm so country.

[B]

What are you? No, you're not. What?

[A]

But also, the things that cowboys wear are western, have a purpose, right? So, like, the cowboy hat has a purpose. You. The cowboy hat doesn't have a purpose in the club. Like, why are you wearing, like, a cat? Like, you're. It's. It's for the sun, right? It's for the. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. A toothpick is the strobe.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Toothpick is to get stuff out of your teeth. You don't just, you know, like, I don't. It also, you know, this is, like, a really sore subject for me. I hate when rich people, like, what if we were poor?

[B]

Like, oh, my God.

[A]

It's not, you know, I mean, I'm not saying, like, I just. That aesthetic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You guys associate it with dumb backwards. You know what I mean? And now all of a sudden, you're like, isn't this cute? Like, I. It. I. It drives me insane.

[B]

Well, it's also. I feel like it's the equivalent of, like, when somebody gets a truck and they have no use for a truck. Like, they just. They're. They're just simply buying, like, a truck.

[A]

Shots fired. I have a truck that doesn't work.

[B]

Your truck is cool.

[A]

It.

[B]

You rescued.

[A]

That I did adopt.

[B]

You have a rescue truck. But this is like when somebody buys, like, a Ford F350 lifted tires like, Casey. Like. Like they're doing the whole thing. They've never hauled anything.

[A]

And I'm like, can you help me move? They're like, I'm like, what goes in.

[B]

Sorry, I had to get my nails done.

[A]

Yeah, like. Like, what is this giant truck?

[B]

The thing about cowboys that I will say is, like, when somebody is wearing scrubs, you know, and they're out in public, and it's like, this man is having a heart attack. Like, we need somebody. Is there a doctor here? It's like they're in scrub. That's either a doctor or a nurse or, like, God forbid, a dentist, but, like, they've got the basic training in scrubs. If somebody is in full cowboy regalia and they're like, hey, we got a couple horses loose in the road, they're like, what? Ah, not. Don't look at me.

[A]

Yeah. Or like. Like, I'm getting attacked. Shoot them.

[B]

They're like, there's a wild boar coming at me. Somebody help.

[A]

Not a skill in sight.

[B]

No.

[A]

Like, that's the other thing. When it's already so hard to find men that have any skills. Women, too. Women, too. There is this hard skills epidemic of women who are bragging about how useless they are. I've seen it. I agree. I don't cook. I don't clean.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What do you do? Yeah. Any skills in sight?

[B]

Oh, you can yap.

[A]

Can we. Can you do any? Okay. And I guess it's just already hard enough to figure out what men have. Any sort of survival skills that if you're wearing a cowboy, that should signal I'm used. I can do things. I can wrangle beasts. Right. I can.

[B]

I could fix a roof.

[A]

I know my way around a rope. If I kill you, I will be able to wrap you up, tie you up.

[B]

I got a tarp in the truck.

[A]

Cut your nails off, cut your teeth off. You will have gone missing. You will not have been murdered. Your parents will be just.

[B]

I know somebody with a wood chipper.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Like, there has to be you. I'm trying to think of the equivalent that's like, me, like. Like wearing, like, a waitress uniform because it's, like, cute. And then a guy's like, can I get some food? I'm like, I don't.

[B]

What? I don't work here.

[A]

What, am I gonna bring you a plate of food?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, well, you are kind of.

[B]

Kind of dressed for the.

[A]

Because there are, like. I feel like, girl. What's the girl's version of this? It's like. Like when girls, like, braid their hair and like to, like. You have to also be nice. I'm just thinking you have to also be. There's certain things that we have to maintain. Some kind of a modicum of things need to mean what they mean. You know what I mean? Like, we do things to signal to other people.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Clothes are language.

[B]

Yes. That's true.

[A]

Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. And mine say I'm unemployed.

[A]

By choice. By choice. I'm not cut out for any of this. Like, looking for a fireman, looking for a very rich cowboy. That's the other problem is that's what Grace is looking for. And all you, you know, frauds out there.

[B]

Howdy, partner.

[A]

I just like when you make television. You, like, the costume matters because you're like, this is who this person is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you're wearing things that don't reflect who you are, you're a lot. You're lying.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. I make sure everyone knows what they're up against.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it's also like there's a difference between being like, ooh, like cowboy stuff is really in. Maybe I'll like mix in. I don't know. Like, maybe I'll do like a bolo tie is like an accessory. Like, like Netflix.

[A]

Oh my God, you're obsessed with.

[B]

Sorry. Netflix. Call me necklace moment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But there's a difference between being like that and I'm going to go buy heavy duty stiff, 100% cotton denim jeans, fresh cowboy boots.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a full western, like plaid shirt and a hat.

[A]

I dress in a way where, you know, I could leave this meeting at any moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To go see my horse.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Like I am, I am only here because I, it's my. I, my, the traffic to get my. If I hear my. If I, if there's a fire, if a horse needs to get on a truck, I am prepared for that. I'm just buying time between seeing farm animals and feeding random crows on the street. I just think that when you should dress in a way that doesn't miss. Don't gaslight me with your clothes. Do you know what I mean? Who are you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pick an identity.

[B]

Yeah. Have a, have a distinguishable sense of style.

[A]

I don't like false advertising. That's what it is. I don't like, I don't like non verbal lying. I don't think lying is only verbal.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

You know what I mean? Also, it's like Annie Letterman just. I'd like to give a shout out to Annie Letterman whatever the she wears.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That's what she does. There's no A low rise Juicy container. There's no way to explain it. I couldn't tell you where she buys it.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

I, I, I mean I'm sure that she has a yeast infection constantly. But like good for you for message received. Like just. I don't like. It's like when someone tries to make like a nickname happen. If you were just like in started introducing yourself as Gracie, I'd be like, I tried it. Did you didn't take fifth grade.

[B]

Didn't take.

[A]

Grace is so good though.

[B]

I know.

[A]

All right. Love you guys. You're the best. Don't ride elephants.