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Whitney Cummings
I am doing this podcast from New York City. Real quick. We just announced some new standup dates. I'm coming to Virginia, Arkansas, Reading, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Fort Lauderdale, Toronto, Connecticut, Vancouver. I will see you in all these cities. You know, meet and greets are ticketed now because people were getting elbowed in the head. I can't have someone get cte, not on my watch. And I can't wait to see you guys in all these cities. Morgan, where are you from? Charlotte, North Carolina.
Morgan
Yeah.
Whitney Cummings
Nice.
Chrissy Shula
Not really.
Whitney Cummings
It's okay. I gotta say that those, like, Charlotte Hornets jackets, the turquoise and purple ones, kind of. Right. Why do we get to say that now? You're. We're just. Okay. Like, this is so wild to me. You date a British guy. No, that's not. Why sound like that. I, like, there's this thing where you can go like, that's so, like, you look. It's giving. What. It's like. Are we reclaiming the word? Morgan, what's the biggest insult you could call someone Morgan? How old are you?
Morgan
I'm 20.
Whitney Cummings
20. What's like the biggest. How do I get Morgan on camera? Morgan, Morgan's 20. What is the biggest burn you could be called at this point? The thing that's going to hurt the most besides Nepo, baby?
Morgan
Well, I wish, but I go to. I go to art school, so I would probably say untalented. Oh, that would be.
Whitney Cummings
I wouldn't even thought that. By the way, a lot of very untalented people make it.
Morgan
Oh, for sure.
Whitney Cummings
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talent has very little, in a way.
Morgan
Making it without having any actual natural born talent is a talent in and of itself.
Whitney Cummings
I think people who are very talented go, well, I'm really talented. Like, so that should be enough. And it's not.
Morgan
It's never enough.
Whitney Cummings
You know what I mean? So. And a lot of times talented people, you know, don't work as hard because they're like, oh, my talent will, you know. No, it won't. You have to suck some dicks to get your painting seen. Ladies, I would. I agree with you. Untalented. But no one can call you untalented. What kind of loser says that?
Morgan
Right?
Whitney Cummings
What do you mean, untalented?
Morgan
I do think that would hurt them.
Whitney Cummings
You're telling me Jackson Pollock was talented? Okay. Art is mostly just maniacs on drugs.
Morgan
Yeah, okay, like, you know, I go to. I go to music school.
Whitney Cummings
Okay.
Morgan
So it's a lot of, like, listening to people play you their demos and having to nod along and be like, this is. This is Fine.
Whitney Cummings
Well, that's. That's psychological abuse. What I will. What I will say is. Time's up on that. Sometimes I would rather you corner me and make me do something sexually inappropriate than force me to listen to your demo. Yeah. And, like, if Louis CK forced people to listen to his demos, then he would be gone. Okay. That is. I just need you to know your rights.
Morgan
Yeah.
Whitney Cummings
In this situation, you want to. You want to send me an MP wav file, you want to send me a zip, I'll listen to it on my own time. The biggest slam you can say on someone these days, or the one that, like, hits me the hardest, I believe, is she's a pick me.
Morgan
Ooh. Yeah.
Whitney Cummings
When did this start being. I don't want a cancelable offense.
Morgan
I don't want that.
Whitney Cummings
But I want to be picked. That's why we're all here. This is what we're doing. I'm here to be picked by my father, who was legally supposed to love me and didn't. We're all just trying to get picked, right? You can't get into a business where you want to be seen and loved and get successful but not want to be picked. I don't know how Donald Glover does it, but no one else can do that. No one else can be picked and still seem cool. He's the only person that has managed to pull this off, and I'm furious at him. But I do remember Anne Hathaway. She just kind of went away, okay? She just. She won an Oscar. And I think there was a Daily Beast article about this where. But also, Daily Beast. You're a bunch of dorks. They came after me after the CNN New Year's Eve thing. Dorks. You're obsessed with me. You love me. And Anne Hathaway gave an Oscar speech where she was excited to win the Oscar, and everyone was like, it's a little much. She's a little much. She wants this a little much. Yeah. No.
Morgan
Yeah. Like, duh.
Whitney Cummings
She has been singing octaves and tap dancing since she was 2 years old to try to get this gold naked statue man. At Hollywood Prom. Everyone was like, little needy. Well, little pick me. Trying a little hard yet. Yeah. What? Half of the actresses in Hollywood surgically remove their eyebrows and then put new ones on from the back of their head. What do you. Half of them have new teeth? We got to talk about the teeth.
Morgan
The veneers.
Whitney Cummings
The veneers is out of hand, out of control. You guys. You know, we can see you. How dumb do you think we Are like, how dumb do you think we. I know that weed is legal now, but we're not that stoned. We can see that you look like the Cheshire cat. We know what you're. We know we got your old pictures. We got. Okay, so this is making me. Okay, so every now and then I need to replay Chrissy shula.
Chrissy Shula
Happy birthday, Dr. King. Something is wrong with Lana Del Rey's face and we need to talk about it because it has not been addressed. But folks have been questioning Nicki Minaj's ad past and the validity validity of it for years and I do not appreciate that. Okay, her face is wrong. It is wrong. I say often that the Lord don't make mistakes, but her face is a math equation that he has yet to solve. You not about to tell me that your jaw is perpendicular, your mouth is parallel and we gonna be all right? No, but not. That's not what you going to tell me. Is she a nerve? Talk about. I didn't have any work done. I don't know what people are talking about. There is a fiddler on the roof of your top lip and it's lopsided and one legged. You're not about to. Ain't nobody. Ain't nobody come out looking like that. No damn top lip. We didn't seen your before pictures. She tried to hide them. Oh, we didn't sink them, you know, but no, that's what you're not about to do. Don't you lie to these kids.
Whitney Cummings
Okay, so here's the thing. We're not getting away with anything anymore. Why veneers are you guys like, I'm not going to go see them perform unless their teeth that actually look like a building.
Morgan
Me, I don't like like seeing people with veneers, especially now. Like people who had to me at least perfectly fine teeth. And then they smile one day and it's just like.
Whitney Cummings
And it's like, you know, what's this is it. Okay, so everyone now wants authenticity. Like this facade of looking like a Masam. What is it? Massam Minage? What is it? Madame Tussaud? Whatever. As an actual Madame Tussaud figurine, I'm here to tell you no one wants you to look like a giant wax robot. And no one's like, I'd love her music as long as she got fake teeth. Like, I don't know, it just feels like. It also feels like a little bit of a flex though too. It feels a little bit like, oh, like I'm making money now.
Morgan
Right?
Whitney Cummings
You know it's like, get a new car. Like, get a new car. Get something that's not in your head. If you have fake teeth, you don't have girlfriends. It's another one. It's another one. It's. You do not. No girlfriend would allow their girlfriend to do that to their head. And not girls. Girl strikes again. Hey guys. Losing weight is tough. Between trying different diets, spending hours at the gym, trying to read all this copy on the screen and not seeing the results that you want, it can be very frustrating. So here's a deal that you're gonna get from me. There is a new brand called HERS Weight loss. It is here to change the game. Hers provides personalized doctor backed weight loss solutions. So you're not just like getting weird methamphetamines off of Craigslist or doing the things I did in high school to lose weight. You're dealing with an actual professional. Their program at hers gives you access to GLP1 medications which are the same active ingredients found in Ozempic wegovy. 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They go directly to the top factories and there's no children in those factories. I checked. They cut out the middleman. They pass the savings on to you. You're gonna get 100% Mongolian sweaters for 50 bu washable silk tops and even 14 karat gold jewelry that I have to buy for myself because all the men I date are poor. All for 50 to 80% less than similar brands. That's why I'm obsessed. It's ethical, it's sustainable. Unlike me recording this podcast today and I use Quince. You know that I'm always in like the classics, the basics, trying to keep it simple. Now that I'm in my 40s and have a child, I'm not shopping from gas stations anymore. It's been rough. But also I'm so chic. You're gonna get free shipping and 365 day returns completely risk free. Give yourself the luxury you deserve. They also have great luggage, by the way. All the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to Quince.com Whitney for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's Quince. Q U-I N C E.com Whitney again, this is the most random episode ever. I was going to talk about the JFK release. I'm going to be very clear with you, okay? I care what happened to jfk on some level. Like, I think we kind of know, like, I feel like we got it. When you become president, you kind of know that's gonna happen to you. Especially if you try to do something good. You're like, I'm gonna try and change the guy. You think you're gonna make it back? Then I'm sure on some level he knew, right? Government. If you're running for office, you should know that the government is probably gonna end it. Marilyn Monroe, however, did not sign up for that. Okay? This lady just wanted to have a bastard baby with an old money, aristocratic, probably politician, and then this happens. That's. Marilyn is the only tea that I really care about at this point. Okay? Half of my friends have Marilyn Monroe tattoos. I don't know anyone with a JFK tattoo. Okay, So I think we know who half of my Instagram is. Marilyn Monroe quotes. Yes. They're stupid. I'm not going to pretend Marilyn Monroe quotes are smart. Keep a man waiting. Or if you can make a woman laugh, you can make him do anything. It's like, okay, isn't that like Bill Cosby's philosophy on life? But whatever. I'm just saying people can't. I can't name one JFK quote. I can name Marilyn Monroe quotes. No, wait, hold on. No, I do have a JFK quote. Hey, can someone have Marilyn Monroe half naked, sing me Happy birthday with my wife watching? Thanks. We agree that Marilyn Monroe didn't just puke and die in her own puke, right? A lot of people drown in their own. A lot of very famous, influential people drown in their own puke that I would like to get to the bottom of. All right, I was at the Game where Tracy Morgan puked the other day. He was nowhere near drowning. Is this going to get monetized? I doubt it. Anyway, so did you guys see the Alec Baldwin thing where Alec Baldwin's wife is, like, yelling at him on a red carpet, telling him to stop talking? It. I cannot believe someone made me feel sorry for Alec Baldwin. I never thought that day would come. So, okay, Pat's going to play the video of Alec Baldwin's wife telling him to shut up.
Chase
I think we're going to see. You know, it's. We're gonna see how it feels to have it be out there.
Whitney Cummings
It's gonna be great. You're a winner.
Chase
Oh, my God. When I'm talking, you're not talking. No, when I'm talking, you're not talking. This is why.
Whitney Cummings
Yes.
Chase
We'll have to, like, just cut him out of the show. No, I mean, I think this is a really raw show, and it's very real, and we took a lot of chances.
Whitney Cummings
So this is a woman who can fake a Spanish accent on television, but she can't fake being interested in her husband talk. I mean, it's like actors, when they're jerks, you're like, can you act like you're a nice person? Blake Live is a good actress. Just act like you respect people when you're at work. Like, there's got to be a way. And after watching this video, I think we all agree there's no prenup. Good to know. But it's very rare that I see a woman treat a man a certain way. And I'm like, even I know that's bad. Even I know this is annoying. I mean, and he's looking at the way he's looking at her. He's like, ah, if only you were hired by me on a film set, then I could get away with it. Like this. Alec Baldwin avoided prison time, but, like, this is clearly his sentence. And honestly, I never thought I'd say that. Alec Baldwin had worse fate than his brother Steven, who was stuck in Biodome with Pauly Shore. Like, how did this guy manage? And then she forces him to do an apology where they're, like, in bed being like, I love you. This is our thing. This is our foreplay in bed. They're on, like, truly the pillow that he has to scream into every night before he goes to sleep. I mean, if you're a toxic couple, you gotta just stay home. I do think that some men like this. Men like it. There are some guys, I have seen men who are, like, trying to stay sober or trying to like, beat their sex addiction or something. And you see them out and it's just like, oh, this is the deal you have made with the devil. There's plenty of guys that like, hire a dominatrix to like, kick him in the balls. We all know Chris Deafano. I mean, honestly, Chris DiStefano's wife scares me. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like when they have the reality show on the red carpet, it will be so much more. More. More brutal than this. You know what I mean? I mean, there's men that will pay women to walk them on a leash into a grocery store. Like, that's what it. That's what it has to come to. To get a man to go grocery shopping at this point. But also she. What is. She's. She started as a yoga instructor. And honestly, I do believe this is the new Darwinism. Men that can resist the yoga instructor. I've never seen it go well. I've never seen a man not lose everything they've worked so hard for at the mercy of a yoga instructor. Like, that's how she got em. I don't know how this happens. Like, why men can't just go, oh, you teach yoga. Nice to meet you. It has. They have to like, marry them. I'm like, unclear. Like, what's the reverse kryptonite for women? It's like a woman. When a woman meets a guy with a three legged dog and another woman's name tattooed, we're like, I guess I have to marry you now. Like, that's our kryptonite. I don't know. I don't know. I can't totally blame her. Like, are you telling me he didn't know this was. This is what I'm saying. Not a girl's girl. You look at this woman and you're like, she doesn't have girlfriends. I went to Hilaria Baldwin's Instagram. I did it. There's no girls nights photos. There's no me glamping with my girlfriends. This is someone without girlfriends, okay? This is a woman that you meet and they trick you into believing. Like, I'm just gonna support you and take care of you. She doesn't have any friends. What else do you have to do? And then she has 19 of your babies. She's your handmaid, and then you're trapped. Okay? I just. I'm saying men who end up in this situation have a bad radar for girls who are girls. Girls, they can't figure it out. And then they get stuck in this, like, nightmare. Okay? So let me help you. If you want to know if a girl has girlfriends, go to her Instagram and just look for photos of any friend. Okay? But here's the trick. Girls can have girlfriends, but not be girls. Girls. So if you see a girl with a bunch of her girlfriends and she's the one doing splits in the front, you know, there's always the blonde in the group who's like, everyone do a pyramid. I'll be on top. Like, that's not the. She's, like, the mean girl within the group, okay? The girl who, like, wears a miniskirt to her friend's wedding. Like, that's not a girl's girl. Like, check what she wore to her friend's wedding. If she's like, oh, I was the maid of honor and I gave a speech. You got to hear the speech. Be like, can I see a video? If she's at her girlfriend's wedding and she's like, I never thought Stephanie was going to settle down. Like, I just. I mean, all those crazy trips in Cancun. I was like, stephanie. And then you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Steve, I'm so glad that you're the guy she chose and not that lifeguard from Fort Lauderdale on a waterbed. You're like, that's not a good friend, okay? It's just. This is the kind of girl who, like, meets a woman who's, like, 44 and is like, why? Don't you want kids? Don't you want kids? You should have kids. And the woman's like, yeah, no, I tried. I just don't understand. Like, I'm just saying, if she had girlfriends, the girlfriends would have caught this. Girlfriends help. Girlfriends make better decisions. We bully each other and be like, stop yelling at Alec Baldwin. You know, he has, like, amazing aim, even by accident. What are you doing? Like, stop talking to your man. Like, why would you want to talk to a man like that? Why would you want to be with a man that you talk to like this? Like, I can't. I don't know. I just. I would never want to be my guy's mom. I think that is so gross. But I guess. I guess ultimately, like, I don't know. I try so hard not to date my dad. I don't think I do that. I've been to enough, like, therapy, and I did the medicine. First of all, why are we calling drugs medicine? But the point is, I did the mushrooms or the. Whatever. I did have a manic episode, but I did find some of the Scientology ships. The point is, a lot of times we talk about daddy issues with girls. We don't talk about mommy issues with guys. A lot of times, God, like, men want to marry their mother sometimes. Like, you'll know. You'll see men with like all these amazing girlfriends and then they'll be like, I'm engaged. And you meet the girl and you're like the one yelling at you that you're an idiot in front of all your friends. Like, I guess you're just like, mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. We're all just kind of. I don't know. I do. I don't know. This is making me think about my. My boyfriend. When I met my boyfriend's mom, I was like, oh, she had more bird feeders than I could count inside that they were in the house. Okay. She talked to inanimate objects. That's my brand. She has a horse figurine collection. I was like, okay, well, I guess we're just doing this. Are we all just zombies that are like chasing our childhoods? I think there's like, I. On one hand, I think people are not in enough therapy. On the other hand, I think people are too into therapy. I can't, I don't. Can't tell if we're over or under therapized. Cuz on one hand I'm like, alec, you need to. You need to figure out what happened, that this is what you think is okay. Number two. I just feel like there's like 55 year old men that are like, well, yeah, and then my dad didn't throw the baseball. I'm like 45 years ago. That's why you cheated on your wife because your dad didn't throw a baseball? Huh? I don't know. My love language is. My love language is physical touch with other women while I'm out of town. I don't, I don't think that's it. Like, I don't know. I am seeing a little bit of a trend of women trying to be loathed. Like, I look at women, I'm like, this is why. Like, I don't look. I don't try to be pol. I know I'm polarizing. I don't try. I don't try to be okay. Like, I do think that a lot of women think that like empowerment and feminism is just acting like the worst man they've ever met. And I'm just like, what are you doing? I just feel like if, if Alec Baldwin did this to her we would like shut down in March. We would like free Hilaria. We'd have hats that. What do we had? The vagina. Like butthole hats. Anyway, I do look forward to this marriage unraveling in a way that should be studied by psychiatrists. Speaking of men who date their mom, Prince Andrew, There was a news story that came out about the royal author Tom Quinn. I'm just trying to not be a plagiarist. Wrote a book about the royal family tea. And apparently Prince Andrew gets angry if his teddy bear collection isn't perfectly arranged in a pyramid shape on his bed. Honestly, I don't think that that's that weird. The guy was on Epstein island for like three weeks. Like, I do feel like maybe he wasn't even being a creep. Maybe he just wanted to hang out with teenagers. Cause that's. He wanted to talk about his teddy bear collection. Like, I'm unclear. This man gets upset when the bears aren't arranged perfectly. I would think at this point they'd be stuck in a pyramid shape, but maybe it doesn't let the staff wash the off them. I don't know what he's doing with these bears. I just. You'd think he'd want someone else's fingerprints on the bears for when the FBI comes and examines them. Like, I do think that the royal family might have to go. I don't think you guys understand that inbreeding is not recommended. The Queen had like 45 corgis and we're just like here. Our bar for what is psychologically possible for the royal family is so low that we just let this slide. Like, does anyone, if any other man had 30 teddy bears that he was mad about people not arranging properly, wouldn't we? Like, I'd hope we'd all do something. Am I wrong? When it comes to eating healthy, giving up bread is usually the hardest part. Hero bread, however. Hello. Shalom. Welcome. They make sliced loaves, tortillas, bagels, and rolls that taste amazing without the extra carbs and the sugar and the garbage. Because who has time for that? It's like fluffy bread. Zero grams of sugar, wild, high in fiber, perfect for anyone looking to eat cleaner while still enjoying all their favorite foods. I highly recommend, Bobby Lee, that you start eating this bread. Imagine having fluffy, delicious breakfast bagels, meal prepped enchiladas or warm rolls with dinner. And don't forget, you forgetful dum dums that they're small batch drops like the flaky hero croissant and hero cheddar biscuits are also on the menu. So if you're into trying exciting baked goods. 10% off your first order today. Go to HRO CO and use promo code Whitney at checkout. That's Hero H E R O.CO promo code Whitney. Do you guys ever walk into a wine store and have no idea which wine to pick? Here's the deal and why Naked Wines is so great. You get up to 60% off retail prices. You're not paying for middleman markups. You're going to get exclusive access to over 90 independent winemakers. And not, like me, the kind of person that wines. Not someone making wine. That's me podcasting. Like, someone that makes actual wine. You can drink wine you won't find anywhere else. My favorite part, there's no membership fees, no commitment. You can pause or cancel anytime. Whether you love reds, whites, or a mix of both. Naked Wines, make sure you are never disappointed. Right now, you're gonna get six bottles for just 39.99 with shipping included. Go to nakedwines.com Whitney click enter voucher. Put in the code Whitney for both the code and the password. That's naked wines.com Whitney promo code Whitney for six bottles of wine for 39.99. Anyway, it's been wild. This has been a wild one. I'm in New York, and I'm just. I really do want to talk about. Okay, let's talk real quick about the Teslas, the people vandalizing Teslas. You losers. You are such losers. Okay, don't vandalize Teslas because you hate a lot of vandalized Tesla because they suck. They're bad cars. Okay? I had a Tesla. I got rid of it. They can't go more than 250, but they have a fart feature. Like, I don't. Literally. The cybertruck is, like, they're, like, for Saudis who think Andrew Tate is a philosopher. You realize, like, people that have cybertrucks are dorks, okay? Like, these are people that think they're Batman. Like, these are people that are so immature that they need to get a car that makes them feel like they're getting the Pokemon. Like, I don't think you understand. These people never got attention. They got this car to get attention, and now you're giving them attention and creating a man who will wear even more necklaces now and more bracelets that tell them how they slept. Like, these are not. They'll put even more price tags on their hats. Like, stop. It's just the fact that also, our country's illegal immigrants are causing crime in America. And then you see footage of all these white dudes in Under Armour and Birkenstocks just taking on Teslas. You're like, are we all just mentally gone? You guys, I don't think you want to make an enemy with some dork who has a cybertruck. They will show up at your door and they will force you to come to their birthday party, okay? These are losers with no friends. You don't want to be the bad side of a guy with a cybertruck, because that side is very crowded. I just. If you don't like a person who drives a cybertruck, like, who. They don't like themselves either. That's why they got this truck. They agree with you. Congrats, you just made a friend. Like, they're gonna watch the surveillance footage and be like, hey, do you want to be my friend? I think I suck too, which is why I got this car. Like, what is the goal? What do you think vandalizing a cybertruck? What do you think this is gonna do? You think it's making an impact? This is making people that throw soup at paintings look like results oriented geniuses. Okay? Like, everything is owned by an evil person. Okay, what's next? We're gonna start putting our Kanye swastika shirts in the garbage? When you see someone with Yeezys, do you stomp on them? Like, what are we doing? Like, are we gonna go vandalize Mar a Lago? Like, where does it. There's something about this truck that people cannot stand. I don't know what it is. Like, it's. I think it's like, if. If I can't have you, no one can. It seems a little that. Let's first see if the people vandalizing these Teslas can afford them. And then. And then discover the motive. Like, you know Ben and Jerry's is owned by Unilever, right? Like, are we in our ice cream? Like, I don't. Bill Gates. I feel like we should all be as mad at Bill Gates as we are as Lon Musk. Like, why do you know that? Do you know that Bill Gates owns 6 million shares of Coca Cola? We just. We're like, yeah, but I can't give a Coca Cola. You know what I mean? Like, I can't. That's not. I refuse. You know what I mean? He owns 3 and a half million shares of John Deere Tractors. You're not pissing on those. You know why? Because you get shot. You know? You know the things. You know that Every dork that has a cybertruck cannot defend themselves physically in any capacity. You would never go after someone with a John Deere. The Civil War would start again if you did that. Okay, like, if you were to try and vandalize someone's John Deere tractor, you would get a hoe to the neck. And not in a good. Not like the Alec ball, one way. My big question is, like, are men okay? Like, are you guys okay? You're marrying women like Hilaria Baldwin, you're hoarding your teddy bears, and you're. You're farting on Teslas. Like, are you right? I highly recommend 10 milligrams of Prozac. You guys, I don't know. I just. I don't see one woman vandalizing a Tesla. That's all I'm gonna say. Women can't do this because when we walk to our cars, we don't have time to, like, make a political statement. We're too busy trying to survive the walk. We can't key a Tesla. We're too busy jamming keys between our own fingers to try to be a wolverine in case we need to fight for our lives. Okay, I know you're thinking, whitney, you're never going to get trafficked because you're too annoying and loud. Yeah, I know. Exactly why do you think I chose this personality? Keeps me safe. Okay? My mom told me at a very young age, she was like, well, if you get kidnapped, they would just return you. I took that as a positive thing. That's a good thing. Okay, you know what the sound of freedom really is this shrill ass voice. No one's gonna take me. So women, be louder. You know, maybe this is a Laria Baldwin's thing. She walks her car at night, safe and sound, no problems. All right, well, this has been random. I hope you guys enjoyed the podcast. I got this. This. This denim bustier I'm wearing from Nordstrom Rack earlier, and I am chafing and can hardly breathe. Thank you, Chase and Morgan, for, I don't know, being forced to talk to me and complying. I look forward to the HR complaint coming from you guys. It's so funny. I was walking on eggshells, like, when I first walked in here. Cause there's two 20 year olds and I'm like, okay, well, this is gonna be a bummer and I'm not gonna be able to say anything I wanna say. And then she's like, I like your top. It's. I'm like, america's back. Don't ride elephants, Guys, goodbye.
Podcast Summary: Good For You Episode 281 – "JFK, Marilyn Monroe, Alec Baldwin, TESLA’s on Fire"
Release Date: March 22, 2025
Host: Whitney Cummings
Guests: Morgan (Charlotte, North Carolina) and Chrissy Shula
In episode 281 of Good For You, comedian Whitney Cummings delves into a variety of topics ranging from Hollywood authenticity and celebrity relationships to societal behaviors exemplified by the vandalism of Tesla vehicles. Alongside her guests, Morgan and Chrissy Shula, Whitney offers sharp commentary infused with her signature humor.
Discussion Highlights: Whitney and Morgan explore the potency of insults within artistic and social circles, particularly focusing on the terms "untalented" and "pick me."
Untalented:
Whitney probes what it means to label someone as "untalented," especially in competitive fields like art. Morgan humorously remarks, “Making it without having any actual natural born talent is a talent in and of itself” (01:37), highlighting the paradox of success without inherent talent.
Pick Me:
The conversation shifts to the modern-day insult "pick me," dissecting its origins and implications. Whitney reflects, “The biggest slam you can say on someone these days... is she's a pick me” (02:59), critiquing the societal pressure to seek validation and acceptance.
Notable Quote:
"Untalented people make it by being untalented; talent has very little, in a way." – Whitney Cummings (01:37)
Discussion Highlights: Whitney and her guests scrutinize the obsession with physical perfection in Hollywood, particularly the widespread use of veneers and other cosmetic enhancements.
Veneers and Appearance:
The trio vehemently criticizes the prevalence of veneers, expressing frustration over the lack of authenticity. Whitney states, “Half of them have new teeth... We can see you. How dumb do you think we are?” (04:51), emphasizing the disconnect between public personas and genuine appearances.
Celebrity Image:
They discuss how cosmetic procedures serve as a facade, undermining genuine talent and personality. Whitney argues, “No one wants you to look like a giant wax robot,” (05:19) reinforcing the need for authenticity over superficial enhancements.
Notable Quote:
"This facade of looking like a Masam... no one wants you to look like a giant wax robot." – Whitney Cummings (05:19)
Discussion Highlights: A significant portion of the episode focuses on the tumultuous relationship between Alec Baldwin and his wife, Hilaria Baldwin.
Public Displays and Conflict:
Whitney critiques Hilaria’s public interactions, particularly an incident where she confronts Alec on the red carpet. She mocks, “A woman who can fake a Spanish accent on television, but she can't fake being interested in her husband talk” (12:40), highlighting perceived inauthenticity in their relationship.
Relationship Dynamics:
The conversation delves into broader themes of toxic relationships and the influence of external pressures. Whitney humorously notes, “You're gonna have to marry them... Men that can resist the yoga instructor” (12:40), suggesting that certain personality traits can undermine relationship stability.
Notable Quote:
"This is what we're doing. I'm here to be picked by my father, who was legally supposed to love me and didn't... We're all just trying to get picked, right?" – Whitney Cummings (03:14)
Discussion Highlights: Whitney and her guests reflect on the complexities of male psychology, therapy, and their impact on relationships.
Therapy Culture:
The conversation touches on the balance between over-therapizing and the necessity of mental health care. Whitney muses, “On one hand, I think people are not in enough therapy. On the other hand, I think people are too into therapy” (19:00), highlighting the societal ambivalence towards mental health practices.
Parental Influences:
They discuss how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, with Whitney stating, “a lot of times we talk about daddy issues with girls. We don't talk about mommy issues with guys” (19:00), pointing out gender disparities in discussing familial influences.
Notable Quote:
"Men want to marry their mother sometimes... like, I'm engaged. And you meet the girl and you're like the one yelling at you that you're an idiot in front of all your friends." – Whitney Cummings (19:00)
Discussion Highlights: In a satirical take, Whitney addresses the recent trend of vandalizing Tesla vehicles, particularly focusing on the Cybertruck.
Cybertruck Critique:
Whitney lambastes Cybertruck owners, describing them as immature and attention-seeking. She quips, “These are people that think they're Batman” (21:00), mocking the aesthetic and cultural appeal of the Cybertruck.
Societal Implications:
The conversation extends to broader societal issues, such as illegal immigration and crime, using the vandalism trend as a metaphor. Whitney sarcastically suggests, “We just, we're gonna start putting our Kanye swastika shirts in the garbage?” (23:00), highlighting the absurdity she perceives in the movements against certain brands or symbols.
Notable Quote:
"These are losers with no friends. You don't want to be the bad side of a guy with a cybertruck, because that side is very crowded." – Whitney Cummings (21:00)
Whitney Cummings wraps up the episode with her characteristic humor, reflecting on the randomness of the discussions and her interactions with guests. She humorously critiques her own appearance and the dynamics with her guests, concluding the episode on a light-hearted note.
Final Notable Quote:
"This has been random. I hope you guys enjoyed the podcast... America’s back. Don't ride elephants, Guys, goodbye." – Whitney Cummings (End)
Authenticity vs. Image:
The episode underscores the tension between maintaining an authentic self and the pressures to conform to societal or industry standards, especially in Hollywood.
Impact of Insults:
Labels like "untalented" and "pick me" carry significant weight and reflect deeper societal issues regarding self-worth and validation.
Celebrity Relationships as Public Discourse:
High-profile relationships, such as that of Alec and Hilaria Baldwin, serve as microcosms for broader discussions about authenticity, conflict, and societal expectations.
Cultural Critique Through Humor:
Whitney leverages humor to critique societal trends, from cosmetic enhancements to vehicular vandalism, offering insightful commentary wrapped in comedy.
This episode of Good For You provides a blend of sharp societal observations and humorous critiques, making it a compelling listen for those interested in pop culture, relationships, and the often absurd aspects of contemporary society.