OLIVER TREE | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings | EP 342

Summary

Good For You with Whitney Cummings

Episode 342 – OLIVER TREE (May 13, 2026)

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Overview

In this lively and offbeat episode, comedian Whitney Cummings sits down with musician and performance artist Oliver Tree for a delightfully chaotic conversation spanning music, fame, personal philosophies, artistic process, travel tales, and more. True to both personalities, the discussion is unpredictable, irreverent, peppered with humor, and sometimes deeply reflective. While the conversation veers into absurd tangents—from penguin biology to personal hygiene—at its core, it’s an exploration of authenticity, creative freedom, rejection, and what success really means.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rejection, Success, and Artistic Identity

• Both discuss their experiences with rejection and redefining success.
  • Oliver shares that only about “2%” of his music ever gets released, embracing “a 98% rejection rate.” (02:00)
  • Whitney references a Howie Mandel bit: "You sell out 6,000 seats, but 8 million people walked by and said, ‘no thanks.’" (03:10)
• Oliver talks about his unconventional path, learning to define success as “freedom” rather than fame or money.

  “For me, it’s freedom—the ability to say, ‘I want to do this, or I don’t want to do this, or fuck off.’ That’s the dream for me.” (13:29)

• The conversation touches on the loneliness and the grind behind sustained artistic work.

2. Life as a Nomad and the Value of Travel

• Oliver has spent considerable time living and working around the world, including Mexico City and time with the Maasai in Tanzania.
  • He describes recording his album in 82 different countries to save money and gain creative inspiration. (10:12)

  “For the price of an LA studio, I could go anywhere in the world and make five songs.” (10:21)

• He reflects on finding happiness with minimal possessions, living out of a suitcase and connecting with people offline.

3. Separating Personae & Staying Grounded

• Oliver discusses speaking of himself in third person to create distance between his public persona and personal self.

  “I talk about myself in third person a lot just to explain different dynamics.” (07:14)

  • Whitney notes the negative perception of this, referencing Lauryn Hill, but argues it’s healthy for artists to have boundaries between identities.

4. Travel, Survival, and Health Oddities

• Oliver recounts intense travel stories—including losing a third of his blood and touring in a wheelchair due to an ulcer from food poisoning abroad. (21:53)

  “I did the whole tour in a wheelchair...They expect the pressure from artists, people don’t think about it.” (22:00)

• Discussion meanders into biohacks and wacky health trivia, e.g., “penguin poop can shoot up to 25 feet” (30:47), eating stem cells, and bizarre beauty routines.

5. Creativity, Drugs, and Artistic Growth

• Both reflect on the role of substances in creativity, with Oliver describing LSD experiences and the subsequent need to stop.

  “I lost my mind ... then somehow I survived ... that was the last time I did LSD. But it was so life-changing.” (45:22)

• Whitney and Oliver bond over moments when art and comedy intersect, questioning whether drugs like weed actually make you funnier or more creative. (46:45)
• Conversation about artistic influences and comparisons (“remix of Bjork, David Bowie, Mickey Avalon”) (32:19)

6. Personal Life, Family, and Upbringing

• Whitney inquires about Oliver’s parents, discovering their close friendship-like relationship. They explore family trauma, boundaries, and parental love as creative drivers.
• Discussion on personal therapy habits, ego, and lingering childhood influences.

  “I traded my entire life to do music. I had nothing. I didn’t go outside for years.” (62:25)

  • Whitney notes: “You freeze at the age you become famous.” (63:03)

7. Pop Culture, Comedy, and Absurdism

• Frequent segues into absurd or surreal humor—topics such as clones (“Why can’t I identify as identical twins?”), the violence of rejection (“Audience is the enemy—right at the jugular.”), and even volcanoes as preferred modes of death.
• Standout lines include:

  Whitney: “I think it's better to wipe instead of put on deodorant. Deodorant just makes you sweat more.” (12:45)
  Oliver: “I think people, they often think ... talent is just someone who found a passion and let it consume them. I traded my entire life for it.” (62:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|--------------| | 02:00 | “About 2% of my music gets released. 98% will never see daylight. I have a 98% rejection rate.” | Oliver Tree | | 03:10 | “You sell out 6,000 seats, but 8 million people walked by and said, ‘no thanks.'" | Whitney | | 13:29 | "For me, it's freedom...to say, ‘I want to do this, or I don’t want to do this, or fuck off.’” | Oliver Tree | | 07:14 | “I talk about myself in third person a lot just to explain different dynamics...Not identity crisis.” | Oliver Tree | | 21:53 | “I lost one third of the blood in my body and then had to do the whole tour. My foot was destroyed.” | Oliver Tree | | 30:47 | “Penguins—have you seen how far the poop shoots out? 25 feet was the record.” | Oliver Tree | | 62:25 | “I traded my entire life to be able to do music as a job. I had nothing, didn’t go outside for years.”| Oliver Tree | | 13:45 | "I think it's better to wipe instead of put on deodorant. Deodorant just makes you sweat more." | Whitney | | 63:03 | “You freeze at the age you become famous.” | Whitney | | 27:07 | “That’s the way I want to die, dude. Actually, the way I want to die is in a volcano.” | Oliver Tree |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:31]– Whitney and Oliver banter about rejection, cults, and stage personas
• [04:05]– Oliver’s newfound success in Mexico and life there
• [07:14]– Artistic identity, speaking in third person, and alter-egos
• [10:07]– 82-country odyssey to make an album, music budget talk
• [13:29]– Personal definition of success and minimalist living
• [21:53]– Survival and extreme touring stories
• [30:47]– Penguin trivia, wildlife, and travel tales
• [39:05]– Family, parents on mushrooms, and their unique involvement
• [45:22]– Drug experiences, creative breakthroughs, and quitting LSD
• [62:25]– Reflections on sacrifice, passion, ego, and finding meaning

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Tone, Language, and Dynamics

The tone is sharp, playful, and often self-deprecating, with rapid-fire wit and tongue-in-cheek digs exchanged throughout. Whitney remains meta, poking fun at both herself and her guest, while Oliver vacillates between sincere, thoughtful responses and total absurdity. Both subvert typical interview conventions—challenging who’s “the host,” riffing on meta-podcasting tropes, and often embracing nonsense for comedic effect.

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Closing Thoughts

This episode is essential for fans of Oliver Tree’s art or those curious about the realities behind a modern, globe-hopping music career. It pulls back the curtain on both the struggle and euphoria of creative life, blending raw candor, surreal digressions, and plenty of laughs. Underneath the parodic banter, Whitney and Oliver share honest reflections on finding joy, coping with rejection, and winding your own strange path to fulfillment.

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For the Deep Fans:

• Oliver’s impromptu volcano-death fantasy (26:33)
• The “penguin poop science anecdote” (30:47)
• Whitney’s riff on weed and comedy writing (47:08)
• Trolling each other about deodorant and personal hygiene (12:45)
• Earnest talk about parents taking mushrooms at sound baths (39:36)

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Note: All ads, sponsor reads, and unrelated intro/outro segments have been omitted for clarity and focus on content.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I know a star when I see one.

[A]

Stop.

[B]

Okay. I know a star when I see one, and this guy's a star. He's gonna be in the pictures. Like, I like this, but is. It doesn't look like it's a dick in his mouth, right? With the microphone?

[A]

Not yet.

[B]

Okay, we'll let.

[A]

Yesterday, someone put a microphone. They had a person holding it up and actually went into my mouth. It was pretty brutal. I was coughing, and then, like, it went in and I was like, I almost coughed up.

[B]

I'm not a litigious person, but that feels like a hate crime.

[A]

It was too far.

[B]

Can we just open with. I have a lot to ask you about. What can't you talk about?

[A]

Pretty much most things. In fact, the whole intro needs to be cut. So I think we start over right here.

[B]

I feel like this is gonna end up being, like, a 10 second clip. Yeah.

[A]

There's a good. Probably we'll get like five or six good seconds. Usually with me.

[B]

Yeah, I guess.

[A]

I think we can just, like, do a couple shots where my hat's changing different angles.

[B]

The continuity is gonna be. That is the worst thing. He said we have to cut so much stuff out because every episode I'll, like, bring up, like, the Epstein list and, like, diddy parties and stuff and my podcast.

[A]

You were there, right?

[B]

Every party.

[A]

Every.

[B]

Actually. How dare you bring this up? I'm actually shaking with rage. I was never invited to one.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Look, I'm in white. I'm dressed, and I'm ready for at any moment. I'm ready.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

Was never invited. Also was rejected from Scientology. These are my. You actually tried when I first moved here. Weren't interested. It was a hard pass.

[A]

They just said no.

[B]

You know how rough it is to get rejected by my parents. Whatever. Didn't get their approval for a cult to not accept you.

[A]

What was the angle? You're like, okay, I'll make it big in the movies.

[B]

I was.

[A]

No, you were ready to do anything.

[B]

The housing and the buffet. You must go.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But not one of these, like, ambush things. Like, don't do it. Like, just go for real. Stop ambushing the Scientology center, you guys.

[A]

So you're still with them. Basically.

[B]

I'm a fan. I'm just a fan. That's all I can really be at this point. I think I have Stockholm syndrome with them. I'm just a fan of their work. Like, you know how hard it is to pull off Scientology.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For no one to have been like, guys, should we just call it.

[A]

Well, L. Ron Hubbard, he was a master poet. And that's part of the thing is

[B]

he's a prolific writer. Ever or just science fiction writer?

[A]

Both. Yeah.

[B]

I just. I don't like being rejected by, like,

[A]

I'm used to it. I'm way past being worried about rejection. That's my. It's basically like I have same amount of my music gets released, about 2% of it. And say 98% of my body of work will never see daylight. And I have a 98 or even 99 rejection rate. So.

[B]

By who?

[A]

I'm used to it. Pretty much the world.

[B]

I don't. Well, it's funny you say that because you know Howie Mandel, the comic? He.

[A]

Wait, is he the bald dude?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He was talking about, like playing as a stand up comic, like playing Radio City Music hall in New York. And like, it's like one of the biggest deals for us. Cause it's just like a, you know, classic venue. Iconic.

[A]

The Beatles played.

[B]

Exactly. Your name is on the marquee. You sell out 6,000 seats. He's like, you sell it out until you realize, you know, it's like the best news ever. Until you realize 8 million people walk by and went, no thanks. Like, oh, you're. You got 12 million downloads. Oh, so only 5,900,000,000 didn't download it. Cool.

[A]

I know. It's the thing. It's part of it. You have to have very thick skin. But also there's something kind of fun about the rejection. That's what makes it so special too. Like, whatever we do, whatever we give to the world, if people don't like it, it makes the people that do like it that much more engaged.

[B]

Well, your new album is number one in Mexico.

[A]

What more do you know?

[B]

What more do you.

[A]

I know it'd be nice if it charted in the top 500 in America. I'll take Mexico any day over America. And it's not America. It's the US because we call it America, but there's Central America, South America. We can't really call it America. We think we're America always stole the land and then we basically took the name and it. So you know how that old.

[B]

You need to do a land acknowledgement before we.

[A]

No, but I've been apologizing on behalf of all the pinchy gringos, and if anybody here is listening, I just was. So. I don't know if you know this, but I've been living in Mexico City for the last month, and can I say something sincere?

[B]

Mexico City is the most beautiful city I've ever seen.

[A]

It is epic.

[B]

Like, it is. It looks like a. Like, Lego dream gasm.

[A]

They're thinking Mexico, and they're like, Cancun tulum. And it's like Mexico's mainland. You go in where it actually is. Best street art in the world, best

[B]

food in the world, the best stem cells. Everyone I know goes over to Tijuana, by the way, for dental work and stem cells.

[A]

Really? And you did the stem cell thing, right?

[B]

No.

[A]

I thought you did. You were saying.

[B]

No, I wish I. No one invites me. I didn't get invited to Epstein island for the adrenochrome. Like, not. This is all just. You think they did the adrenaline scrubbing and lasering. I think it's. Do you really want to know what I think?

[A]

I do. I mean, it's not like I'm asking now I'm interviewing you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to know about the adrenal crown and what?

[B]

You know, there was, like, a circumcision facial where there was, like, circumcision cells going into facial.

[A]

Okay. And you did that?

[B]

No.

[A]

You did at least the salmon semen, right?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Because I always do that.

[B]

Really? From the job.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Procure the salmon semen yourself?

[A]

No, no. I. But I'm a big. I actually have captured a lot of salmon with my bare hands because I grew up in Al, So I would always go out to the main spot right in front of the lake. It's a family home. And I would basically take the eggs from the salmon, and I would shoot it right into my mouth. But I never did the salmon semen, personally. I put it on my face, but I don't collect it.

[B]

Is this what you attribute your just voluptuous mustache?

[A]

It's genetics.

[B]

Okay. Okay. And what are your genetics?

[A]

Well, I found out that I'm actually 72% Mexican, so this is kind of a big deal.

[B]

How do you get to 72?

[A]

I don't know. It's just because I had multiple family members that were also Mexican.

[B]

Like, I know, but how do you get a 72?

[A]

I'm not sure.

[B]

Was one like.

[A]

I'm not really. No, it's basically like a grandma on one side had a Little bit a grandma on another side. A lot. Okay, so it's a mix, but I'm, I'm a mixture of Mexican and Polish. So yeah, I'm very at home in Eastern Europe. Anywhere from all the way from former USSR to Yugoslavia. That's my people.

[B]

Where do you stand on clones?

[A]

Clones? I'm actually a big fan.

[B]

No, as in I think you're almost ready for one.

[A]

Yeah. I was actually thinking about this because growing up I was a big fan of Dr. Evil and he got a clone. And I feel like that the whole bias against clones, it's something about it just seems so forced. Yeah, so forced.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I mean, come on, people are cloning their pets. Why can't we clone? Like, it's like, why, you know, they're cloning people too.

[B]

You can also identify as many things. Why can't I identify as identical twins if I want?

[A]

Right. I always say that.

[B]

Why can't I identify as two people? I feel that's crazy.

[A]

You said. Because I literally always say that.

[B]

No, you know.

[A]

Yes, I do.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Well, you're talking about identifying as multiple humans. Because when I made this album, a big part of my experience was all over the artist, all over the producer, and then all over the human. And so actually I talk about myself in third person a lot just to be able to explain different dynamics. But I don't have an identity crisis. I feel very lucky that I, I know I'm one person, but there is a lot of different avenues as we find in ourselves. And I, I know that the different ones need to understand their rules and their boundaries so that I can maximize on efficiency.

[B]

They say the most successful artists, especially in music, are able to separate themselves from their stage presence.

[A]

Right. Well, I talk about myself in third person all the time. Like, we got to get Oliver to do this because then you're basically just the writer for all of us.

[B]

And you should also for sure do NDAs if you, you do that.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Why is that?

[B]

It's talking in third person. I think it gets a bad rap. Do you remember when like Lauryn Hill's the best artist on earth and everyone's

[A]

like, she still is.

[B]

She's still, by the way, fair. She, she'll talk, she'll say, well, Ms. Hill thinks this. And that's when everyone decided she went crazy. I'm like, I feel like that's healthy to separate her, Lauren from Ms. Hill.

[A]

Yeah. Because she's a very different person from the one who goes on the stage, presumably. I don't Know her personally, but one

[B]

can imagine you're very humble for someone who has the number one album in Mexico.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And has a new documentary out about going to Antarctica.

[A]

Yep. I wish. First of all, I want to thank you for coming. I'm sad you missed the film, but just you coming means the world, so thank you.

[B]

It was such a blast to come. I got to come to the screening.

[A]

You came for, like, 10 minutes, right?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no. You start about an hour, hour and a half late. Yeah. So I know Aaronica doesn't have time.

[A]

I was editing the documentary in the car. I don't know if you notice, I edited all myself. You didn't see it, but.

[B]

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[A]

It's a. It's a labor of love, and it's a. I'm not really good with deliverables.

[B]

No, it's ready when it's. It's ready.

[A]

I was exporting. I'm like, we can give him another 15 minutes. We got a 32 minute export.

[B]

I have the video. I have the video of him pulling it up on his laptop in the movie theater. And everyone had to watch on the laptop.

[A]

It was bad. Well, the screens malfunctioned, so I had to play it on my laptop. But people kind of just gather around. There was about four or five of us.

[B]

It was like sitting around a fireplace watching. But you did it in a theater. That used to be the black and white theater. You know, it was like only film. Film. Like, I was like, how's he even.

[A]

Yeah, we had to print it to film as well.

[B]

Okay. So when I think about you, like, what artists do you like being compared to in terms of, like, your DNA?

[A]

Actually, they're not musicians. I'm more interested to be connected to performance artists.

[B]

My thing.

[A]

So that's my thing.

[B]

No, no, you're not gonna come into mine.

[A]

No, you're not gonna come on my show. You're on my show now.

[B]

You're not gonna be my host.

[A]

That's the number one album in Mexico. You're on my show.

[B]

All right. He didn't even bother to kill the black framing.

[A]

This is the wrong version of the album cover. This is the first one that I released, but this is not the one that came out.

[B]

This is the real number one one, actually. I kind of like in the rotation. Yeah, I think you made a mistake. Well, this is good. 82. Why 82?

[A]

Oh, that's how many countries I went to to make the album.

[B]

Two is just a lot of countries.

[A]

Well, it was a Fucking epic odyssey. I went for two years. And instead of recording the music in a studio in L. A where it's $2,200 a day, plus if you go overtime, more fees than an engineer, that's $700. Talking about an average, about 53,000 to $3,500. And for that amount, I can fly all the way to anywhere in the world and stay in a hotel for about five days, make five songs and fly back.

[B]

I have a question for you, Oliver.

[A]

Yeah. I don't fly first class. If you're. If that's the question.

[B]

Do you need to borrow some money?

[A]

I thought you're gonna say deodorant.

[B]

No, don't do that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Also. Okay. 82.

[A]

Wait. Don't share deodorant with Other serious question. Yeah.

[B]

What are you running from?

[A]

Me?

[B]

82 cities.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

I'm living the Tom Segura of music.

[A]

Who's Tom Segura?

[B]

Clip it. What's a stand up comic? Tom Segura.

[A]

And what does he do?

[B]

He does jokes on stage and he travels. He has a podcast called. Haven't you been on it? Your mom's house in one with Bert Kreischer. Two bears, one cave.

[A]

And he performs in Spanish in South America.

[B]

Is that still okay?

[A]

Now, I like this guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What was the other guy? Bert? Chris Chrysler.

[B]

Chrysler.

[A]

Wait, that's the. Is that the guy who's always, like, shirtless? Yes. Okay. I think I've seen him. I don't know about the other guy.

[B]

You'll give it a go.

[A]

So everyone who asked that question, what are you running from? I feel bad.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Why? Because I.

[B]

Or what are you running towards?

[A]

Well, no, for me, I've redefined my version of success. So for you, it's this. By the way, beautiful home. I'm so inspired. It's so epic. I'm so happy for you. But I feel bad for you. You've locked yourself into this prison here. And for me, I found that I lived in the four story house. I had all the cars.

[B]

Four story.

[A]

Yeah. And I had. Listen to this. My closet was a store. Everything color coded. I had three TVs in my room. You know, the whole. Just basics. I'm sure you have four, but none

[B]

of these are basics.

[A]

But what I'm getting at is that was what I was told was the dream. I was sold.

[B]

By who?

[A]

By the.

[B]

By which athlete? By Chris Paul. Who told you four TVs in a room.

[A]

It was Logan Paul.

[B]

It's normal. This is. You, like, grew up on MTV Cribs. That's right.

[A]

Well, I definitely grew up on MTV Cribs. What about the deodorant thing? Do you have any? Because I'm actually. I lost mine.

[B]

Don't. I can give you. I have some baby wipes. I'm bigger. I'm big on wiping. Instead of. Because deodorant just adds. Why are you being sexy? Why are you being sexy? Why are you being sexual?

[A]

I just smelled my own.

[B]

That was. Dang.

[A]

I was, like, turned on by yourself? No. I was like, this is bad. I hope you. I'm glad you're there because separated from

[B]

the alter ego and got turned on

[A]

by someone, I was like, God damn, I look good right now.

[B]

I think it's better to wipe instead of put on deodorant. Deodorant just makes you sweat more.

[A]

I don't really wear it. I try to put on at least two times a month, and then hopefully that coats it for the rest of the.

[B]

You know, what the musicians really do?

[A]

What do they do?

[B]

They get aluminum stick, right? And they put it on their hands so that they don't sweat.

[A]

Really? I haven't heard that.

[B]

Huh? I got it. When I first started doing, like, theaters and stuff, I would go to dermatologist because I was going to get Botox in my armpits to make you not sweat. And I was, like, all ready to do it.

[A]

Did you do that? Because I actually did.

[B]

And what happened?

[A]

It didn't work.

[B]

Well, they told me that sweating more than ever, the sweat has to come out a different place usually.

[A]

Okay. So I'm glad you didn't do that, because for me, it definitely comes out in the penis area, and it's very stanky.

[B]

Does it.

[A]

Do you.

[B]

What do you do to get out?

[A]

We'd have to cut that out. The main point I was trying to make was I redefined my version of success, and it was not more followers, more likes, more money, more commas in a bank account. It was actually, I learned my version of success. And this isn't for everyone, but for me, it's freedom and the freedom to be able to say, I want to do this, I don't want to do this, or fuck off. And that's really the dream for me. So I. It's not running from anything. I'm just. There's so much beautiful parts of the world, there's so many incredible people, so much beautiful cultures just to connect with. So. I know it's corny and it sounds so lame, but I redefined in creating a New option for people. It's like, okay, what does the dream look like? It's like, well, we're shoved down our throats, this idea. But for me, I was like, I don't know when I had all of that. And I wasn't happy because not like you're unhappy all the time, but when you have those moments of unhappy and you have it all, you're like, something must be seriously wrong with me if I'm not happy right now. And you're like, well, happy is an internal thing. And I have one carry on suitcase that all my clothes fits on. I have like six pairs of underwear, maybe five. Sometimes I lose them. And then I have a backpack with a computer, a microphone, and a $150 interface that I recorded my whole album on. I have never been happier. I have never had a more beautiful existence. I've never connected more with people. I was off the Internet for two years and just connect people. Like, what happened to Oliver Tree? It's like, bruh, the dude is in Afghanistan right now. The guy is traveling around and spending time living with the TR Dude.

[B]

Beyonce. We don't hear from her for two years.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I mean? And then she drops something in the middle of the night and it's just like, boom. It's like the great artists go off and change and grow. And what I'm hearing, Sorry to be so serious.

[A]

Is like, most be as serious as you can be.

[B]

Most people that tour, if so I just can't make eye contact with you. I just have to look at like this. Can you put the hat back? Can you do that bit again? Yeah. Thank you. Saving time is my mate is my first priority in health because I'm not stressing out with decision fatigue. I have identified that my love language is taking decisions off my plate. Chris and I talked about this when he's like, where do you want to eat? I'm like, I'm single now, so I guess I'll do whatever I want because you just asked me to make a decision and I just, I fully cannot. So I'm so like, Huel has been my decision energy conservation life hack for a while now. But we have to talk about fiber. Okay. How much fiber you getting over there? Not protein, not calories. Fatuk. That's so 90s fiber.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I am someone that sleeps on fiber every now and then. I mean, there's been a couple days where I just ate these like sushi candies that are like candy but they look like sushis. I don't feel like they are giving me the fiber that is required. But Huel is an easy fix for my bad decisions when I'm not drinking Huel. Okay. It's one of the simplest ways that I found to stay consistent when life gets chaotic, to get your fiber, to get your protein. On the days that I'm running out the door, I grab a f Huel I always want to say fuel because I'm at a place in life where I say food is fuel because food is like who has time for that? You know, that's how I get my son to eat stuff. It's you got to fill up on fuel. Hu Black Edition Ready to drink. It is a complete meal. 35g of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweeteners, colors, flavors. It's gluten free under $5ameal. It also gives you 7 grams of fiber which honestly like game changer. Add to cart and Huel has a limited time offer. Get Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15 off online with my code whitneyul.com Whitney new customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show. I love you. Thank you for keeping me alive. Support for today's episode comes from Square, which is basically the system behind all of the local businesses that I'm obsessed with. Like, you know, when you tap to pay somewhere and it's just, it feels like you're in the future. The experience is smooth, it's fast. Or whether it's a cafe, salon, boutique, food spot, businesses that use Square always, always seem just more put together, more chill. What I like is that Square is not just one little payment machine. It's a connected platform that helps businesses take payments, manage inventory, run payroll, send invoices, and keep track of everything from one place. I have done it. We use it for the merch. If I can do it, anyone can do it. It includes hardware that works in person, on the go, software for staff and customer insights, and banking tools like Square checking, which helps sellers access money quickly. It is built to make running a business feel like less chaos and less of a nightmare. So you can just worry about your HR issues and sell instead. Works Whether you're just starting out, running one location, growing into something bigger. No complicated setup, no rigmarole. You know it. You know what to do if you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down. Right now you can get up to 200 off square [e-mail] go whitney that's square. Sq, a, r, e dot com, g, o, slash. Whitney, run your business smarter with square by going to a business business. And I don't see square. I'll. I'll turn this car around. And then I have questions about keeping the sticker on. Like, are we still doing that?

[A]

Oh, we always.

[B]

We always do it. But can I do it?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

No, it's a little.

[A]

All that means is that the hat is in good condition. This is actually the first time I've worn this, so.

[B]

Did you get that at the airport when you came in, like, I love you.

[A]

I flew in from Mexico. I was like, that one will do.

[B]

You travel so much. All your clothes are just from Hudson News. What do you love hunting?

[A]

I actually love it. It's super underrated.

[B]

No, dude, I. I don't think anyone

[A]

knows what that is because people aren't going to the airport.

[B]

Like, dude, I. My thing is Easter eggs. You. I don't.

[A]

Wait, so wait, what did you do for Easter?

[B]

I don't want anyone to get what we're doing. They have to figure it out.

[A]

Already have to Google it.

[B]

What was Hudson News?

[A]

What did that mean? Yeah, they have to do.

[B]

I want you to figure it out. This is verbal hieroglyphics.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

You can't just give people a conversation that makes sense.

[A]

That would be pointless.

[B]

Pointless.

[A]

How would you want them? What are they? They're not gonna follow along.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Otherwise you're just, I mean, dead in the water. It's. The idea is to confuse. It's like confounding the enemy. You need to confuse the listener. Confuse right in the.

[A]

The listener is the true.

[B]

Are you out there making sense?

[A]

What?

[B]

Are you out there making sense?

[A]

Not me.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

But think about this. Like, when I always look at the listener, the audience, that's the enemy. That's who I'm trying to get. Right at the jugular.

[B]

That's why I call it, you kill, you destroy. Like, it's very violent.

[A]

And right now. What a moment to be in LA for comedy. This is like the craziest week ever.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Because I was going out.

[B]

Oh, what happened last night? Did you go to the Comedy Store? Dude, this dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. Stop drinking the prime energy drinks. Because he texted me at 1am he's like, I'm headed to the Comedy Store. Are you there? I'm like, again, I know Antarctica doesn't have time zones, but this. It's one in the morning.

[A]

I go to bed at 5 to 8am last night I got to bed at 5:30. That was an early night for me. And this is actually serious. Like this is when I actually go to bed.

[B]

So this is like legit artist thing. So what goes on between like 2am to 5:30am?

[A]

Those are the best times.

[B]

Sobbing.

[A]

That's the only time I get for me. So last night it was at the comedy club.

[B]

You know what that's called?

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Sleep revenge.

[A]

Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm aging rapidly. I haven't slept more than five hours in the last two months. But I can't. I just wake up and I'm like fight or flight? Post. I'm like going deep into may I?

[B]

May I?

[A]

I love AI also.

[B]

Really.

[A]

I'm so glad you brought it up. I want to talk about it for the rest of the podcast.

[B]

Okay. By the way, let's just quit it and have the rest of the podcast.

[A]

Can we just do the rest of it?

[B]

If I'm not. Am I AI, Please tell.

[A]

Don't you look AI? You're looking good right now. You're looking fully AI.

[B]

I'm not AI. I'm going to be so bummed. So sleeping. I don't know what losers can sleep eight hours but like keep wasting your life away with this. Sleeping eight out. Who has time to sleep for eight hours if you could fall asleep?

[A]

You know who it is? Is the people who play video games.

[B]

You are the same people. Useless, like non functional to the tr. Not helpful. You know people that just to get on planes and pass out. I'm like, you're in the sky.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And this. And you're relaxed and you got the

[A]

view of a lifetime. Our great, great great grandfathers and grandmothers would have killed for this. And you're over there snoozing.

[B]

You have no fears, no insecure, nothing. It's soothing to you, to be fair. Flying through the air.

[A]

Oh, it is for sure.

[B]

Such a parasite.

[A]

You're talking about me now and I am a bit of a parasite. I was like, you can't kill me. I'm just.

[B]

I don't buy that we have to sleep eight hours. It's. You sleep in increments.

[A]

That work for you. I have the gene. I did the test.

[B]

What gene?

[A]

You only need to sleep four to five hours.

[B]

The mf.

[A]

It's the mf. Doom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know about this gene though? Yeah, I don't know the name of it, but I did the test. I just was like, give me a. I was doing A before. I travel abroad and when I come Back. I try to do stool samples, blood samples, whatever. Make sure I'm all good.

[B]

Sell on your march site.

[A]

Well, I hadn't thought of that, but I have had some experiences traveling where I one time got this thing, I believe it's called HP Pylora, where I ate food, I consumed food with fecal matter abroad, and I ended up getting a crazy ulcer from it. And I had lost. Basically, I was on the way to the airport, and I was feeling very ill. And I get to the airport, and I'm just throwing up and diarying black liquid, just straight. It looked like black water. And then I get onto the airplane. I'm like, all right, I should be good. And I got an airplane. And then I, like, literally start projectile vomiting on the wall of the airplane. They're taxiing out, and they turn the plane around. They're like, we have an ambulance waiting for you. I was like, ambulance? I got to play a show is the beginning of a tour. And basically they said, you can either go in the ambulance or you can go get a doctor's note, and then you can come back tomorrow and catch the flight. And I was like, all right, cool. So then I leave, I get the thing. And anyways, my main point is I lost one third of the blood in my body, and then I had to do the whole tour. My foot was already destroyed, and so I did the whole tour in a wheelchair. And that's the level that they expect from artists, the pressure that's on artists. And people don't think about it. They're like, oh, my God, he canceled the show. I canceled one show, that whole tour, so I could get the colonoscopy, endoscopy at the same time. But they found that there was a super severe ulcer in my stomach, and I had lost over one third of the blood of my body. And what happens when you lose that much blood is your. You're not getting oxygen to your lungs because there's not enough blood in your body. So my grandfather died of emphysema. I'm like, I think I might have it. I got inhalers and all this stuff. I thought I had maybe asthma or something like that. And then. Yeah, turns out.

[B]

This is so weird. I mean, we can cut this out if you want, but I did get a text where you just. One day, you're like, I really don't want to play this show tonight. That wasn't the same one.

[A]

It wasn't that one.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

It was a separate.

[B]

You're like, I just Want to cancel? Like, what do I say?

[A]

I didn't say that. You. Are you someone else?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Who? Who. What? Other musicians that look like this that

[B]

you thought about the other one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But anyways, I'm lucky to be alive. I get out of bed every day, and I'm just fucking.

[B]

Do you think this had to do with your immune system being suppressed from traveling?

[A]

No, I use. From eating fecal matter.

[B]

Oh, right, right. But I mean. But you don't think you could eat fecal matter?

[A]

Like, my immune system stronger than ever because of it. Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Steve O, who's a dear friend, one of my favorite people in the entire fucking universe, he grew up, Trav, traveling, and he would always brush his teeth with the sink water. And he built a very strong gut biome. That's who I go to for all of my health tips.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He's a legend.

[B]

Can you imagine him. Him and RFK podcasting together?

[A]

He calls me. One time he called me. He's like, oliver, you gotta see me crash a smart car into the wall of the LA River. I was like, I'm there, bro. Tell me where to go. I drove my G wagon into the LA River. I parked it in the water, pouring through.

[B]

Dude. Last time I saw Steve Os in Tennessee, where I was at Luke Bryant's house, and this is when Steve O. Just moved to Tennessee. And I was like, dude, come by. They're having, like, a. Whatever pig barbecue or something, and he shows up, and his face is just kind of, like, bleeding. It's all. He's always bleeding, Stevo.

[A]

I haven't seen that. Oh, yeah, he bleeds out a lot.

[B]

Well, he just was bleed. There's always a bruise or a bandage or something. You know what I mean? It was like, you know, he's like markers from maybe getting breast implants, like, sharpie marks. And so he shows up and he's kind of bleeding, but it's like, steve, oh. You're just like, don't think about it. And he's got his dog, and we're, like, talking. I was like, what's like. Is that. Do you need something for your face? He's like, oh, no, I just tattooed a dick on it. And we're like, there's nothing else to. That's not a weird sentence.

[A]

I know. That's literally the guy. If you know him, you're lucky, because he's a special soul.

[B]

Truly the best.

[A]

But I wanted to say about the comedy moment. This is such a crazy one. So you were at the comedy store

[B]

last night, but I left at least 10. Okay, who did I see?

[A]

Yeah, what was the vibe?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Would you watch someone perform or you went in and went out. I'm confused what you're doing there. You're just hanging out?

[B]

No, I work there. I'm a comedian.

[A]

Wait, so I thought you were an actress.

[B]

I do stand up, so I was performing there.

[A]

Didn't you do. What was that big movie? Was it Sleepless in Seattle?

[B]

I did not do Sleepless.

[A]

Or it was the. What's the other one? Is the Tom Hanks one about the message? Is the email one?

[B]

Wait, the Joe versus the Volcano. One of my favorite movies of all time.

[A]

Are you just plugging your favorite movies? I have no idea what you're talking about.

[B]

Amazon Prime. I think you can get it if you're.

[A]

Wait, are you in this movie?

[B]

No, it's. But dude, it is my favorite movie.

[A]

What is the movie?

[B]

Dude, it's about. Dude, this is back when movies were like Oliver Tree adjacent. Like when they had like surreal artists making movies, like big blockbuster movies. It's about. Tom Hanks is like, hates his job and he goes to like, I don't know, Hawaii or something on vacation. He falls into a volcano.

[A]

Really? Oh, that's amazing. That's my. That's the way I want to die, dude. That's actually the way I want to die in.

[B]

The desert has a lot of volcanoes underneath. We weren't scared at all. Active ones.

[A]

I didn't see any of them. I've been to some active volcanoes, though. I went to one in Guatemala. The best volcano in the fucking world. You have to drive up this thing that's like vertical. All the cars are falling down going up the hill. And it's like you can hike it in two days, but you can drive up it in four hours. Between the transpo and everything from Antigua, the nearby city. But the best thing in the world, you see it at daytime. You're just seeing the ploofs of smoke. And then you go there at night and it's literally just lava pouring down the fucking thing. Have you seen one live active?

[B]

I don't. You got up close buy it.

[A]

You don't buy wood.

[B]

No, I mean, I know dinosaurs might be real volcanoes. There's no way those are real.

[A]

I've seen it.

[B]

No, you haven't.

[A]

The reason why I dreamed to dine a volcano.

[B]

If you see a volcano, you didn't live to tell about it. It.

[A]

That's not true at all because I knew it.

[B]

So how could it? Well, did YouTube demonetize us for false information? Didn't think so. Well, I just got my 15 bucks.

[A]

Really? Yeah. Is that how much you're racking in during crypto? I like.

[B]

I don't know the conversion.

[A]

Are you doing ether at this point?

[B]

It's in its Trump coin.

[A]

Crazy. So I want to just say really quick on the topic of volcanoes. I knew a guy and his. He was part of a Central American country. His uncle was a traitor to the country. And they threw him into the fucking volcano off of a helicopter like a nonary person.

[B]

Oh, the whole government threw him into a volcano.

[A]

There was like three people that ran the whole.

[B]

Did they just push him?

[A]

They pushed him off the helicopter. I'm not joking. This is an actual story. And he named his son after his uncle. And I met the son. I know it's actually accurate stuff, but it was pretty wild because that's a hell of a way to go.

[B]

And how do you die exactly? Is it on? Do you have a heart attack?

[A]

Pretty slow.

[B]

I think you have a heart attack.

[A]

I think you're in the thing and you're like. Maybe a volcano was a good way to go.

[B]

I think you have a heart attack first.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Don't you think as you're going down

[A]

impact, you're coming out of a helicopter and I think it's so hot. I think it's like 70,000. I don't know how to measure it.

[B]

Wouldn't you be too? Can't you not get close enough to the volcano? Isn't the heat too much?

[A]

I don't think so. I'd have to look into it. I mean, I'm not sure if it's the best way to go, but it sounds like a really special way to go.

[B]

Did you see how many people do

[A]

you know died in a volcano?

[B]

A couple.

[A]

You knew someone specifically?

[B]

Yes. It's not. It's.

[A]

But you actually knew them?

[B]

No, I don't. I think people. Have you seen the documentary about the couple that Inferno of Love?

[A]

Yes, I've seen Inferno Love and also one of my favorite movies is by Werner Herzog that documents volcanoes around the world. It's called into the Inferno. You know that one? That's my. That's why I go to sleep to every night. Really. I'm a big volcano guy.

[B]

You really are. Would you say that you love volcanoes? Yes, but also could are like a human volcano in a way.

[A]

I'm like spewing out garbage. I'm like a human cesspool. Like just Diarrhea.

[B]

Explosive.

[A]

Just like a cockroach, like, trying to squish me. And then, like, I multiply. Hair gets longer. Face gets either. Nose gets bigger.

[B]

All right, I have questions about your travels because as I was trying to say before, I love that we both.

[A]

I don't like to talk about the travel stuff too. Okay.

[B]

I don't want.

[A]

We could probably.

[B]

Trust me, I know. I'm not interested.

[A]

What kind of questions? Because it's my question.

[B]

Well, because you were around penguins in your last documentary a lot. Penguins featured prominently, for sure.

[A]

Have you seen how far the poop.

[B]

Have you seen inside of their mouths?

[A]

No. They don't really let you get that close. But one time they crossed my path, and I was about 2ft away, which is a danger for the penguins. And I try to keep a distance. This is inside its mouth. That is a shark. That is a great white shark or a monkey shark.

[B]

That is a penguin's mouth.

[A]

No way. They have teeth like that.

[B]

Yes. It's a bunch of teeth that go backwards so that fish can't escape and swim out.

[A]

Who's. Who's bringing in. This is pretty high production value. This is dope. I love this because I'm like, okay, you guys clearly have a guy who goes and does all the research. But then I'm like. And then it stops there. Then they run out.

[B]

I just said, can you.

[A]

That's where the budget ends. Well, may I keep this?

[B]

You can have it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Save us for later, I figure. So I just. Just. I think it's important that everybody knows that. That penguins. Even though you were kind of harassing them a little bit.

[A]

I never harassed penguin. I love penguins.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But do you know about how far the poop shoots out?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Yeah, they started measuring it. It's like, 25ft was the record.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It was 25ft and I believe six inches.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that feels like an evolutionary, like, survival.

[A]

Well, it's crazy because this is an actual true story, but there was a scientist who was eating a sandwich, and it hit him and then, like, all right, we gotta just see how far. So they started bringing out measuring sticks and ruling and just checking it out.

[B]

Good, good. Good use of the budget. Good line.

[A]

That's kind of what's going on.

[B]

Good line item.

[A]

I don't know. You didn't see the doc, did you?

[B]

I did see it. I watched it.

[A]

I don't know what version you had because it was. So. You got old.

[B]

There were some misspelled boards on some.

[A]

You Know, I edited all myself and I. Every image made in it.

[B]

I think the word Tuesday is misspelled. Do you want me to tell you

[A]

you have notes here? Should we pull?

[B]

No, I don't have notes. I didn't want.

[A]

I'm so sad you saw that version of it because it's evolved so much.

[B]

I thought that was maybe on purpose. This. The misspell words?

[A]

No, I'm actually one of the worst spellers ever. But they actually have a correlation.

[B]

Like. I know what you meant.

[A]

Right. Well, if you knew the. The gist of it, then I got my job done. But they have. There's no correlation between good spellers and intelligent beings. And I'm not either.

[B]

No, no. It just feels like it was done in a rush, which is fine. The title cards are boring.

[A]

You saw an old version I must have adjusted.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah, I think so.

[A]

Let me write that down.

[B]

I'm sure you spell checked it or like, had someone.

[A]

Well, Premiere Pro doesn't have spell check, so.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Not at least the version I'm using. I'm using 2016.

[B]

I liked it. It's like an Easter egg.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

If you see it, you see it like you're like Taylor Swift. You like, put little.

[A]

Right. I actually get. A lot of people say that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, a lot of people have actually.

[B]

I actually said that. And I mean it.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What else do you think I'm like? What would you be? Your definition of me? How do you see me? I would be curious to know.

[B]

I honestly think of you. I love remixing, like, references into. To explain someone to me. You're like a remix of like, Bjork.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Like David Bowie. Mickey Avalon.

[A]

Like, not sure who that is.

[B]

We don't love. Oh, oh.

[A]

Who is it?

[B]

All set.

[A]

I know. Mickey Mouse. No correlation.

[B]

I don't hate that either.

[A]

I kind of see myself as a Mickey guy, but not Mickey. Whoever.

[B]

You said what Mexican Mickey. We gotta go to like, like Mexico. Disneyland. And like, see. Can you Google Mexico? Disney or Mexico?

[A]

Yeah, pull that up on the screen. I'm.

[B]

See what he looks. Because I feel like he could have a Hitler mustache on.

[A]

Okay, we can't be going there.

[B]

No, it wasn't on you. This is not.

[A]

Are you talking about the.

[B]

Your bangs or the Hitler mustache? It's like a giant one. But it's like if you know.

[A]

So you. What, now you're comparing me to Hitler?

[B]

No, I did not do that.

[A]

I was not expecting it to go.

[B]

Which has happened.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I just was trying to give him like, A like reference point. You also give a little Dennis Rodman.

[A]

He's a hero of mine.

[B]

I'm not the same.

[A]

Yeah, he's a legend.

[B]

It's like by any means necessary and I'm going to be be dazzling you even when I'm not, when I don't have the ball. If you felt stuck trying to lose weight, you are not alone. There's so much advice out there, so much bad advice. Let me be clear. And it can be hard to know what is actually worth your time. That's why weight loss by hers h e r s is so interesting. Hers now offers an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen designed to support you in reaching your goals. With WeGovy at hers, you can lose up to 20 more of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less and keep weight off. And one of the biggest conveniences here is that everything is 100 online. You connect with a licensed provider who determines if treatment is correct for you. And then if prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door. No insurance necessary. It also goes beyond medication because hers gives you access to 247 messaging with your care team. So you can be like, hey, you up? Ready to reach your goals? Visit for hers.com Whitney to get personalized affordable care that gets to you. That's 4 f o r h e r s.com Whitney for hers.com Whitney Weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. WeGovy is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. To get started and learn more including important safety information, we'll go be clinical study information and restrictions. Visit for hers.com I've been obsessed with Olipop in a way that is is truly shocking. They didn't even send this I don't think. Did they send the raspberry sherbet 1 I this is the only I can't. It's like a My Little Pony. A can of My little Pony. And the colors make me. You know how people have like crystals and that's like what makes them like Ollipop is my like crystals. They make me so happy. The cans are so cute. I am so you know what Ollipop is? It's a soda that gives you the classic taste of the sodas that were like bad news bears health wise but with a functional ingredient blend that actually supports digestive health. And right now they have two new summer flavors. They've got the BlackBerry Vanill. We finished Them all. I had some teenagers over family on Sunday, so they drank all the BlackBerry vanilla, but I hid the raspberry. Is it sherbet? I mean, I just found out it wasn't Chester Drawers, like, two months ago. I can't take this on, okay? It's fruity, it's refreshing, it's delicious. 30 calories, 6 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar. It feels like a seasonal treat without the baggage of, like, traditional soda, whatever. BlackBerry vanilla is back from the flavor archives of people that apparently have been. They have been begging for it. And I get why I'm obsessed. I mean, the grape, the orange is maybe my favorite. I go back and forth between the orange and the grape, but this is definitely my new favorite. The BlackBerry one I'm obsessed with as well. High in fiber, low sugar. It's a game changer. Why would you do anything else? Get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in store. We're gonna pay you back for one. Works on single cans of any flavor. Any retailer, go to drinkolipop.com WhitneyOlipop Pop is available in the soda aisle and with chilled beverages at thousands of retailers nationwide. Ooh, Walmart and Target. Look at me. Oh, my God. I'm so young.

[A]

He's a legend.

[B]

You also have maybe a little Steven Wright, like, Enigma energy.

[A]

Who's Stephen Wright?

[B]

He's a, like, one of the great stand up comedians who did, like. Well, he started like, one liners.

[A]

Right. I'm a little offended you didn't say Fred Durst, because he's kind of my main inspo. I don't know if you can see this, but this is all based on. I don't know. Am I leaving the camera now?

[B]

I don't know. Is that a KKK robe? Are you the Grand Wizard? All right, I just. It's a big. It's a big shirt. Like, if the grand wizard had, like, a white rapper son, I don't think he wouldn't wear that.

[A]

First of all, they were all out of the extra small shirts that I was trying to order, so this was all they had.

[B]

Where did you from? Where did you order, though?

[A]

We got it from.

[B]

It's called Kanye West.com Big Dog. Oh, Big Dog, dawg.

[A]

No, just. I think it's B, I G, D,

[B]

O, G, G. But you also don't has. Well, Tuesday.

[A]

I'm not a big speller, but I don't think that has anything to do with anything.

[B]

I liked it. I felt not. I'm dead serious. I Thought it was, like, artistic.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I was like. I, like, kind of like, leave it. Like, that's. Now I know he does it himself, and I know it's, like, authentic.

[A]

That was the worst decision in the world, by the way, because I edited it myself. I did all of the sound design. I did all the scoring, and then I had to clean up the destroyed audio, which. Whatever version you saw, it probably was a nightmare, but I had to go use AI to extract the wind and all these things and try to salvage what was left. But it took me literally two months to edit that. I'm still editing it, but Nightmare.

[B]

When do you know it's done? I was DaVinci.

[A]

Never done. It's only abandoned. I. You know, my uncle actually was the one who came up with that.

[B]

I think it was Michelangelo.

[A]

Oh, well.

[B]

But that guy was a liar also.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He invented the helicopter.

[B]

No, he. He inhaled so much paint that from the Sistine Chapel, also, that he was

[A]

off, but we're inhaling worse stuff.

[B]

They were also all pedophiles. They were just drawn.

[A]

You really love the pedos.

[B]

I don't love.

[A]

It's like every other sentence is like, pedophile this, pedophile that. And I start to wonder.

[B]

I just feel like it's like.

[A]

It's a big part. It's like a 40% of your brain occupancy.

[B]

It's also like 40 of the people in office. So I just feel like I need to kind of just remind everyone they're still pedophiles. And let's not drop it at times.

[A]

Very valid. I see.

[B]

Doesn't it feel like it. Like the. The. The whole. Like, everyone's a pedophile. Like, it kind of came and went,

[A]

but I'm sure a lot of people in your circle are. So that would make sense for someone like you.

[B]

You know what? Maybe. I guess I'm kind of trying to understand. My main question for you is gonna reveal how toxic I am. And my understanding is of, like, why people perform. It seems like your parents love you. Am I wrong? Because it's odd that parents that love their child make one that's, like, a brilliant artist.

[A]

My parents are actually more like my friends than my parents at this point. When we went to Antarctica. So they. I was there for a year. They came and they tried to basically save me. They were so, like, they were very concerned. And when they came out, we actually had a few moments that were really special. And one of those moments, we did Ecstasy of Mushrooms during an ambience I played an ambient DJ set, and there was a shaman there and all these things. It was so beautiful. Sound bath. And my parents are the kind of people that, like, we go to the hot springs, and my mom brings a big chocolate bar of mushrooms. And then she's like, who wants to take mushrooms?

[B]

And I'm like, mom, do you think she takes these. This medicine to cope with the fact that you're her son?

[A]

I would not be surprised. Maybe she was like, if we get him high enough, maybe he'll have an overdose.

[B]

But isn't ecstasy. I'm such a dork. I've never done ecstasy. Is that more of a.

[A]

It's a very emotional drug. You open up your heart in a way, like, never. You. Basically, it's a truth serum.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You'll say everything that you shouldn't.

[B]

But I do that.

[A]

Right. And you already kind of, like, stuck on that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You think it was something that was damaged in your brain early on?

[B]

I actually think there's something damaged about people's brains when they don't say.

[A]

Right. That's true. I love.

[B]

There's this thing where everyone's like, oh, like, let's protect the pedophile. Like, it's right.

[A]

And there you go back to the pedophile.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just trying to think about it. I just. If some. It's more of, like, a terp. It's not an. It's not a presence of brain damage, although I do have that, but it's more of a presence of, like, a Tourette's type of thing. It's like. It's like. I have to say, growing up in alcoholic home, you, like, want to just say the thing because everyone's just.

[A]

You grew up in, what, like, alcoholic

[B]

home or like, no one's telling the truth and no one can.

[A]

That actually explains a lot.

[B]

Does it?

[A]

I think so. Because you're. You were born when your mom was hitting the booze.

[B]

You'd think I'd be smaller, right?

[A]

I know, but you seem strong. You seem fit. You're doing a pretty strong workout regimen.

[B]

Appreciate that. Thank you.

[A]

You're in great shape right now.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

How do you do it?

[B]

I appreciate that.

[A]

You're not on the Ozem.

[B]

No, I don't do it.

[A]

Everyone says, oh, Oliver, you're on. I'm like, bruh, if I was on Ozempic, I would look a lot better than this.

[B]

No, I don't condone it. I'm not bad.

[A]

It is for you. You know how many side effects are Coming from it. And then basically the people are. The crazy part is that the company that makes Ozempic, they're making all the medicines that will help fix.

[B]

Of course it's whack a mole. Those are the real business people, dude. They get it. Geniuses, you know, but okay, I want to know about. In your travels because I do think that like what limits us as human beings and creatives and such. You can totally take a phone call if you need to. I want to take it personally.

[A]

Can I just take this one thing?

[B]

Yeah, I'll pretend to check my phone too.

[A]

No, if you can just. Just bear with me. I'm almost done here.

[B]

Bear with me. I like that's a new way of saying. Shut up. That like makes. Makes you see like, like. Could you stuff it?

[A]

I gotta take this. Hello?

[B]

Could you just put a dick in your mouth real quick? Also, I know you're not on the phone because I don't get self reception in my house.

[A]

What's the deal with that? I feel like this is like, you know the dark type of. When you go to a place and then there's no cell phone reception, you start asking questions like what's going on here? What kind of pedo ring is being run? Yeah, either right here in the pool house. I don't really know what's going on. You did that on I did it

[B]

so people can't do business.

[A]

You have so much money that I feel like you could easily just build an entire.

[B]

I don't want people to have access to me all the time. You go to like other countries. I just like make myself into like you.

[A]

This is the exact thing I've been trying to avoid. The prison that Whitney Cummings has built.

[B]

Well, it's only a prison if you hate being with yourself.

[A]

No, that's not true at all.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Your life is super sad,

[B]

by the way.

[A]

I. I feel bad for you, dog. See, this was a litmus.

[B]

You know what? Litmus litness. I will donate to Reading Rainbow just to help you figure out how to spell Tuesday and say litmus.

[A]

I will do it. I'm ready. I'm ready.

[B]

I will do it right now.

[A]

Okay. Will you pay for my duolingo? That's what I want to know. Because I'm working on Spanish right now as my main language.

[B]

You've been in Mexico for two years and you still don't know Spanish?

[A]

You know how it is. I already do.

[B]

You. Are you the guy that only hangs out with Americans in the other country?

[A]

What?

[B]

When you go to another country, you know, hang out with.

[A]

Living with my friend Aaron Mercury. And he literally, he lives with his mom and his grandma and we all live there together. So it's a very different vibe than whatever you're.

[B]

Is he Mexican?

[A]

No, he's from Uruguay. No, he's Mexican.

[B]

Of course, Mercury is his last name.

[A]

It's a stage name name.

[B]

Do you know his real name?

[A]

Yeah, but I'm not going to say it on.

[B]

I'm just curious. I do feel like all these stage names, there's a chance that people are best friends and they're like, wait, what's his actual name?

[A]

For sure. Well, I have friends that I. I have friends that I don't refer to by the actual name because I can't remember it. But I'm not good with names.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And the fact that I actually said your name right was actually such a compliment.

[B]

Nope, nope, nope.

[A]

I think there's only room for 100 names.

[B]

No, no. You don't get to say you're not good with names. No one gets to say it. But I'm just like a faces guy. Oh, excuse me, that's my.

[A]

Okay, that's disrespectful for a person who doesn't get phone calls.

[B]

I get phone calls.

[A]

What was the phone call?

[B]

I have my own other WI fi.

[A]

Okay, so you got Starlink in the back.

[B]

I do have Starlink and portable Starlink.

[A]

Who's calling you?

[B]

That was an alarm.

[A]

That must be really important.

[B]

It was an alarm.

[A]

What is it that the interview is over.

[B]

It was an alarm. Well, had you been on time, it would have been like this has been an hour, cuz I don't want to hold you captive in this prison you hate so much.

[A]

What do you want to know Cuz I want the hard hitting questions like favorite color

[B]

sparkly blue. I already know. Can I guess? Here, ask. You know what? I'll interview you by you asking me questions. I already know the answer.

[A]

What's the answer?

[B]

Your favorite color?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lime green.

[A]

Rojo.

[B]

Do you have synesthesia?

[A]

What is that?

[B]

It's when you see music in colors or patterns.

[A]

Only when I take acid. I've had experiences. So like when I was 17 years old, I used to play in a psychedelic jam band and I had two DX7 keyboards and I would be playing the same song for like six hours and my friend would bring in an LSD eyedropper. I've never told the story before, but basically what happened was everything just turns.

[B]

You can see the color LSD in your eyeball.

[A]

Have you ever done it?

[B]

I've no.

[A]

It's cut with. They dilute it with vodka, so it, like, burns really bad, but.

[B]

Oh, it's pretty dope. Okay. He seems like a good friend.

[A]

I don't do acid anymore, but I used to do it a lot. And then I had my whole rebirth at Burning man rinded up. Running naked through the desert, hitting the fence, getting cuts all over. I lost my mind. And then somehow I survived. I was on the ground, pulling my head, trying to rip my head open, to pull my brain out of my head. And that was the last time I did lsd. But I loved it. It was actually so life changing because at that moment, it was a pivotal time in my life where it was like I had an opportunity. I remember being on a computer at Burning man and someone sent me an

[B]

email because there's WI fi at Burning Man.

[A]

There's computer setups, like a computer cafe where you, like, barter them with some ice or something like that and then use the computer. And I got a show that was the biggest show of my life at that time, when I was 17. And then basically I was a drug addict, really bad at the time. And my parents kicked me out of my house.

[B]

How do you decide that?

[A]

How do you decide to be a drug addict?

[B]

No, no. When do you know I'm an addict? Like, when did you know?

[A]

You know when your parents kick you out of your house?

[B]

That's when in high school, they threw

[A]

all my clothes out. I had a dj. I used to be a dubstep dj. And so my parents threw the coffin, which is like where the DJ equipment is, and they threw all the clothes under. They said, get the fuck out of here. So that's when you know something.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And there was a point where I actually had the best, sweetest setup when I had two friends. One of them was mass producer, and one of them was just a guy who moved it to the street. And I was the middleman. And one of them would drop the weed off and he would bring a few pounds, and then the other guy would come to my house and pick it up. And I did nothing. I was just making music all day. It was a beautiful era.

[B]

Do you still smoke weed?

[A]

Only occasionally. I used to be a hardcore weed guy.

[B]

Do you think you're more. I have a hot take, at least for my brain. I think I'm less creative with it because I think for. It makes you think you're a little funnier than you are. And that's not good for a Comic like my rock bottom the second I quit. Because it was like the pandemic. And we were like all like. Everyone was taking edibles and stuff. I had never done it before. And I was like, dude, I'm so funny. Like, I'm funnier than ever. Who told you that? I'm George Carlin. Like my own.

[A]

Who said that? Where are you getting this kind of feedback?

[B]

From my assistant, of course.

[A]

Now that makes sense.

[B]

My assistant, my agent, entertain, has got a laugh behind my life. There's a lot of delays. I have a pedal. And so. So I wrote out like jokes and I was stoned because I'm like, I'm so creative.

[A]

You write your own jokes?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

I didn't take you as someone that actually. That's so interesting because I was like, you're too good looking to be writing this funny of jokes. I was like, something doesn't matter.

[B]

Thank you. I feel like you definitely write your own stuff.

[A]

I don't know what that means. What stuff? I can do anything. I just show up wearing a big T shirt and I'm like, okay, I hope it goes well. I gotta go to the next thing now. What stuff are you referring to?

[B]

This is when I. I don't do any of this is when I knew that weed did not make me funnier. I opened up my joke book the next morning and I wrote, maybe every country has ninjas, but Japan's are just the worst. Ninjas.

[A]

Wow. Was that a racist joke?

[B]

No.

[A]

You're not interchanging that word.

[B]

Well, I would be saying that Japanese ninjas are the worst because we know about what if every country has ninjas?

[A]

You didn't write any of this? No.

[B]

Isn't it weird? I can't remember it. Not stone because it's that dumb. Isn't it weird that we cut down birds houses to make bird houses?

[A]

You lost me with that one.

[B]

No birds.

[A]

Say it again.

[B]

Isn't it weird already a hack that we cut down birds houses to make bird houses?

[A]

Right. That's crazy. That's actually insane. I think that's. That's genius. It's not funny, but it's genius.

[B]

That's my brand.

[A]

So the ninja thing, not so much.

[B]

But that one can't happen. Have people in the audience going, that's genius. Like, it has to be an involuntary.

[A]

But I've seen it. I've seen it. They do this. Yeah.

[B]

No, no, no. We're not doing rally. I went to some comedy show the last few nights. I seen no snapping. That's all we're doing not. Good point. We're doing. Laughter. That's.

[A]

You're the birdhouse lady. Yeah, I've seen you. You're the birdhouse lady.

[B]

Ninja. Ninja lady. So not for me. Not for me.

[A]

How many calls are you gonna get?

[B]

That's not.

[A]

What is that alarm for?

[B]

This is actually crazy. I've.

[A]

It's so strange name. You never had one guest that showed up late.

[B]

I usually don't do alarms, but I know that you have a tight schedule and you're like an animal. Let me ask you a couple questions. Who did you vote for? Kidding.

[A]

I didn't, by the way. Also, the fact that I didn't vote is so embarrassing. So I say that with just shame. But also, I'm. I haven't been living in America for so long. Like, I live one year during COVID but I haven't been here. And I am so repulsed by all of the politics. I'm not gonna get into any of it, but it's so dark and so gross that I. And I've been to places where people are scared to be able to say anything about their president. So I know the privilege I have. I love America because I can say fuck America, and I love America because of that. And people I said that to. I was directing a bank commercial in Spain, and they were like, what do you think of America? I was like, well, I love America because I could say fuck America, and I love America in the same sense. They're like, ha, ha. Such an American thing to say. And then I was like, have you been to Tajikistan? Have you been to certain places where people's lives are gonna be seriously threatened? I don't even think we can use this in the podcast. But what I can say is we're lucky to be able to have freedom of speech. That's a real fucking privilege. And to be able to vote is a real fucking privilege. I used to say, cheat through school, do this. And when I went to places where people weren't allowed to go to school because of the laws in their country, I weeped. I found out how fucking embarrassing it is for me to say, yeah, cheat through school. But I do think that there is a genius to cheating. And I would have all these different scams, all these different ways to do it, and that allowed me. It's called.

[B]

I'm sorry. It's called con art.

[A]

Right. For sure.

[B]

For a reason. Because it's an art.

[A]

It is. But the beautiful thing of it is it allowed me to do what I really wanted to do. And I could make all the music and do all the kind of videos I wanted to do because I did way less schoolwork. And I'm not advising that. But if you are listening to this and you're a kid in school, you need to stop. You need to drop out. You need to not do your homework. You need to cheat as much as you can if you want to be like me. You're not going to listen to your parents. Sorry, what were you saying?

[B]

You're due for like a side hustle.

[A]

Oh, I've got plenty.

[B]

Okay. But we got to chill with the side hustles. Okay.

[A]

Oh, it's too many.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? It's like it to me just lets me know that you don't have real friends.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? That are no one.

[A]

Thanks for bringing it up.

[B]

You know when like all of a sudden.

[A]

Thanks for the reminder.

[B]

Someone just has like a vegan, you know, like burger.

[A]

A vegan. Like a vegan rotisserie chicken.

[B]

Yeah. And you're just like, dude, you have no friends. If you went to that many meetings about this. And it's like.

[A]

It's kind of like aa Tana Mojo.

[B]

One time was like, should I start this taco business? And I was like, dude, no, no. She's like, well, everyone thinks that's a good idea. I'm like, you're you fire everyone that works with you.

[A]

I wouldn't go that far.

[B]

A woman's not going to start a taco place.

[A]

Why do you always have to make it taco? She could do any. Whatever she puts her mind to.

[B]

Agree.

[A]

But people like you that are holding the whole system down, it doesn't mean she should. You are the kind of per. You know, it makes me sick.

[B]

And you know what else?

[A]

Say some.

[B]

You know what? You know what else?

[A]

What?

[B]

Okay, girl. Get ready for the lawsuits that are going to be coming from salmonella taco deliveries. I mean, isn't. Don't break in Guantanamo Bay from the pizza place. Stop owning restaurants. It's such a bad idea.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Yeah. Didn't. Didn't one of the d' Amelios who has the Alani energy drink. You'll end up in a restaurant Hawk tua with her. She was. She was killing it till she had the. The coin. Don't get.

[A]

Don't bring that up.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Because that's not a good example. You know how many incredible female entrepreneurs are in the world? Have you met one?

[B]

Okay, many.

[A]

You are one. And by the way, you're a legendary entrepreneur. Congrats on everything. Congrats on taking the money from Saudi and putting it into this beautiful home. You have to cut that.

[B]

I don't have to cut that, but I didn't put it into this beautiful home. I put it into. It's if I.

[A]

You put it into other female entrepreneurs.

[B]

You know what I do? Get the record straight.

[A]

Look at that camera.

[B]

I'm sorry, I don't see gender like you do. I'm not like a backwards, you know, toxic white man. I don't see gender. So I don't think like that.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

What is the most transformative, like, cultural experience you've had that made you learn about yourself? For sure. Let's talk about your privilege.

[A]

For sure. And I'm so privileged that I can't even answer this question without saying that to start it off. But I got a DM one time from the Maasai tribe. They're called the Maasai Boys. They're the most legendary guys. They have an Instagram where they, like, try out different types of, like, foods or things. I like, drink Jagermeister and, like, yoga master, like, and they just try things out because I've never experienced any of it. And they invited me.

[B]

They're like, where's this tribe?

[A]

Is it in Tanzania?

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. They're basically a nomad tribe between Kenya, Tanzania, and some of the surrounding countries. But I spent time with them. They DM me. They're like, come live with us. And I was like, oh, I want

[B]

to see this Netflix documentary in 10 years. Yeah.

[A]

And I played a couple concert for them and I rented from some local guys in town, some Swahili guys. I rented a generator and speakers. I put on a concert for them, and they didn't even know how to dance to the music because they had never heard beats like that. But it was so epic. We stayed in the Pooh huts with them. And the crazy part is this sounds like so, like, touristy bullshit, but this is like, something where they hit up a bunch of people that were like. They wanted other people to come. Like me. I show speed. A couple different people who are influencers, and they're like, come with us. Like, come stay with us. And none. No one else actually would do it. I was like, the only guy that was crazy enough to come. I'm not even crazy, but it was so beautiful. It was the most transformative thing. I stayed in the Pooh huts, which are built by the mamas when they get pregnant. They basically build a poo hut and Then. So I was staying in one of those for. I stayed for about a month. And it was such a transformative experience getting to live there. There's no running water, there's no electricity. You're really roughing it. You're sleeping on a pile of dirt inside of a poo hut.

[B]

And what's happening in your brain? Are you, like, as an artist, the wheels are turning and you're, like, writing things down in a journal or just trying to stay in the present moment?

[A]

That's one of the things that I think is a misconception. People like, if you're filming something, then you're not really experiencing it. But I found, because I've mostly not filmed all my travels, very few years,

[B]

I think it's the only time I can turn my ADD off and be in the moment.

[A]

Well, for me, it's really just special because it pushes me so far out of my comfort zone. If I'm not filming, I'm like. I'm less likely to go reach out to these kids in the middle of a field in India and be like, can I play this game with you? So it's brought me into so many unique, crazy conversations. I'm less likely to go up to a stranger and start dancing with them on the street.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's like, you know, it's for. For some weird. And most of the things we do around strangers if we don't have a camera, it's creepy and weird.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You can't be like, can I come for you?

[A]

Not for me.

[B]

Well, no. I mean, you can't just go up to.

[A]

I get the creepy vibe for sure. And I get that from you. But I'm saying, for me, do I

[B]

have, like, teacher that sleeps with her student energy? Just tell me the truth. I can take it. I can take it for sure.

[A]

But that's a compliment. No, I guess that's not a compliment. Maybe something else.

[B]

You get who gets away with it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You get the, like. Like king cougar vibes. You know, Queen cougar.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

That's like. But it's not. I'm not getting the pedo thing as much as you. I feel like you're really invested in the whole pedo thing.

[B]

I'm not invested. It always comes back weird how many there are.

[A]

Well, you would know better than me. I'm not interfacing with them. It's gotta. There could be a whole. You should do it. You should do your next interview with a bunch of pedophiles. I think this Is the wrong time, I think.

[B]

Did you not go through the Epstein files?

[A]

I did not. Because there was so much released and I wasn't in America, and. And I feel like when they release that much, it's almost just like, all right, well, I kind of divide people.

[B]

Not left and right. Black, white, gay, straight through. Did you go through the Epstein files or did you know? Because your brain is forever changed if you went through it.

[A]

I didn't go through it.

[B]

But also, you see everything through the lens of, like, creeps because you realize that, like, stores that we shop at were, like, owned by pedophiles. Like Victoria's Secret.

[A]

Well, the stores you shop.

[B]

Abercrombie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Because I just. The china looks so young. Me and Abercrombie.

[A]

The shirts that I'm getting, they're not pedophile. Okay. This is paid for a 600 pound. There's no kids wearing this shirt.

[B]

That's the beyond from Bed, Bath and Beyond. That shirt is in that section.

[A]

I love Bed Bathroom.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

I haven't been for, like, 10 years.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Because they probably don't have them other places. Or is they.

[A]

No.

[B]

Is it only American?

[A]

I don't live anywhere, so it's kind of pointless. But I love the place. And sometimes I'll just walk through.

[B]

Are you nomadic?

[A]

Yeah, I'm not by choice.

[B]

Are you ever gonna have a wife?

[A]

Life? I would love that. Yeah, I'm working on that.

[B]

Right. How?

[A]

I'm putting in the motions.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

It means I'm thinking about ordering one. Oh. Different countries, different price. None of them know about each other.

[B]

Oh, like, I like that because, you know, people will, like, like, decide they're gonna date someone's job.

[A]

Is that what happened to you?

[B]

No.

[A]

You're like, I need a skateboarder now.

[B]

By the way, my whole thing was no athletes. I always said no athletes, no athletes.

[A]

Athletes are better than musicians.

[B]

Musicians. Well, nothing's worse than musicians.

[A]

Right? And they're the bottom here. That's like, the bottom.

[B]

Magicians. Not great either.

[A]

Magicians. That's. Now you're getting back into the pedo thing. Okay, when you go there. Now you're. Okay, Now I see where you're going. You're circling back.

[B]

I didn't even think of magicians as pedophiles. Now you just ruined magicians for me.

[A]

Well, I'm a big fan of Criss angel, so I'm not gonna say they're bad. And David Blaine may be the greatest performance artist of our time.

[B]

Have you seen Criss angel in person.

[A]

I am such a big fan. I actually do a trick.

[B]

I don't know if I feel like he's great.

[A]

Check this out.

[B]

I feel like he's great in person.

[A]

He must be.

[B]

And like jokes on all of us.

[A]

I don't know if you saw a show.

[B]

Did you mind freak? Yeah, I didn't.

[A]

So check this out. This is a trick I learned from Chris Angel.

[B]

Is he the true religion genes of people?

[A]

Was that your new that out?

[B]

Oh, no, it's. Is that a light? What is that?

[A]

Mind break.

[B]

Okay, you know, we're in a fire zone.

[A]

Can we cut that out?

[B]

No, I don't think we can. I just. It's not. We don't have.

[A]

But you're supposed to do this thing

[B]

where he would go like with the lighter. I don't even think it.

[A]

I didn't rehearse.

[B]

If you don't get a paid partnership with Beck, I can't help you.

[A]

I love Bic.

[B]

Dude, Bic is. Honestly.

[A]

You smoke when you.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

That's so gross. I'm glad you don't. I don't either.

[B]

When you. Is it unattractive and girl smoke smoke.

[A]

It depends if you smoke or not.

[B]

No, but I mean

[A]

so if you're smoking then it's great and if you're not, it's horrible.

[B]

If you're into a girl and she

[A]

smokes, well, yeah, that's how I look at. I'm like, if she smokes, she can't. But I can't.

[B]

Or you're like. Or like she has bad judgment. This is a good. Low self esteem. This is good. I'll like.

[A]

This could work.

[B]

This could work. I can't be with a girl that makes good decisions. Chris Cole, my guy, the legend skateboarder.

[A]

Wait, you actually know, huh?

[B]

No one really knows anyone do.

[A]

It's one of those PR relationships, right?

[B]

Imagine he. His Instagram was all him falling. It was like sculpt.

[A]

I was like, that's the best.

[B]

But I'm like, good for this.

[A]

That means he's real.

[B]

Look at. Look for the. Look. Look good. Good for him. Yeah, he's wants to. He's trying out skateboarding. Like I didn't know that. If you're like a great skateboard, you show the falls also.

[A]

Yeah, that's the best part. That's what we watch it for. We want to see someone.

[B]

He's so good at following them. He'll just like. He kind of like just knows how

[A]

to kind of got like a gelatin structure.

[B]

To him, he's like. He's very. He's a husk. He doesn't have a skateboard body. You've studied his body.

[A]

He looks like he has. He kind of looks like he's husky. Humpty Dumpty.

[B]

Yeah, kind of after broke into a million pieces.

[A]

Picking up the pieces, you know, and then you're there to pick the pieces.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

What were you. What was the correlation between skateboarding and comedy? Because I totally missed it.

[B]

Oh, they're super similar, just in the trajectory of it. Like, you start in parking lot, you, like tour in vans, you make no money, but it's a solo thing. Whereas, like, team sports guys. Bad news to date. Solo sports guys usually didn't have dads.

[A]

So he didn't have a dad?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. And did you have a dad?

[B]

Do any skateboarders?

[A]

Some do, yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I had a dad.

[B]

I used to skate, but he was like, not my dad. You weren't killing it with him, though.

[A]

Killing what?

[B]

Like he was like, could take you or leave you.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Your dad?

[A]

My dad was my best friend.

[B]

Okay, but he didn't want to be your dad. He wanted to be your best friend.

[A]

No, I wanted to be my best friend. I don't want him to be telling me to do this and do that.

[B]

Nothing's weirder than people want to be best friends with their goods.

[A]

Really? No, they didn't want to be. It just became that way because they're so cool.

[B]

Yeah, they're sick.

[A]

We went to so many amazing places. That is the most beautiful thing because. Are your parents still alive?

[B]

No.

[A]

Really? Be for real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm just trying to enjoy every moment I can. You should, because it's so. Every moment I'm like, the fact that we could do this now, let's do it.

[B]

Love that. That so much about you. I feel like it's so popular now to be like, my parents are trash. Like, people are trying to like, who is saying?

[A]

Who are the people you're hanging out with?

[B]

Dude, I'm normal.

[A]

I have never met anyone who said that. My parents are so trapped.

[B]

What do you. No, I feel like this is every. Is like my dad.

[A]

You're with a bad crowd.

[B]

You do stand up comics.

[A]

What is this? Bobby Lee said you don't become a

[B]

stand up comic who, like, for a living, goes to make drunk people love you. If you weren't raised by drunk people that didn't love you. We spent a lot of time being like, what about this? What about this? Does this make you Laugh and trying to sort of like, you know, calm down. Chaotic situations as kids. Sorry, I had trauma and you said you stopped therapy. I go in and out. I think sometimes therapy makes you too self obsessed.

[A]

Yeah, I get that vibe from you as well.

[B]

No, I don't. Okay.

[A]

I'm joking.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

You seem like fair. Well, do you feel like you have an ego?

[B]

I think everyone has an ego. But the ego comes up when you feel rejected or embarrassed or something.

[A]

Perhaps. I don't. I don't have one. I'm very humble.

[B]

Which one of you? Because the human, the alter ego should not be humble for sure. Right. And should have a big ego.

[A]

Well, I think people, they often think, like, anyone in a place of success, like, oh, my God, like, maybe they're the idea of talent or whatever that is. It's actually not a real concept. It's a construct. It's like, okay, what is talent? It's just like someone who found passion and they found something that they loved enough that they could basically let it consume them. And it looks very selfish in some ways and maybe self absorbed, but it's really selfless. It's like to crucify yourself, you give your soul. I traded my entire life to be able to do music as a job. I had nothing. I didn't go outside for years. I missed my whole 20s. I missed. Yeah, the 30s.

[B]

But don't you think you age at the. You. What is it? You freeze at the age you become famous?

[A]

I don't know about that. And then I never got famous. Famous. How old do you think, Feel. Do you feel like you got stunted when you became famous?

[B]

I don't think I got stunted necessarily. But you kind of freeze because subconsciously you go, this is what worked.

[A]

Yeah, I stopped growing when I got famous.

[B]

That was the thing.

[A]

But I wasn't an emotional.

[B]

I was wearing the same sneakers. Like, I wouldn't change. Like, I was just like, this is what worked, you know, subconsciously.

[A]

So you wear the same outfit every day.

[B]

I used to kind of do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm probably where you were.

[B]

I had autism.

[A]

But how old are you?

[B]

43.

[A]

You aged amazing. What do I have to do to be able to get the regimen proper?

[B]

I do lasers and I actually don't do Botox because I think it makes you look older. I used to do it. I used to do it, and I think it made me look older. Crazy because now, you know, when you see girls with Botox, sometimes you're like, you. I can't. I Don't know if you're 50 or 20. Like I can't tell.

[A]

They all started looking the same.

[B]

Yeah. So I started doing lasers and like, you know. You look good. You look good.

[A]

You do.

[B]

I feel that. 72 Mexican guys.

[A]

I'm saying 100. We can't put in the 70.

[B]

I think you should get a little Brotox. What is that? Like a little.

[A]

Oh. I was gonna do the nose augmentation surgery.

[B]

I want to do that.

[A]

I wanted to do it. Why? No, just think about. Everyone's trying to get smaller. Look more proportional. I'm trying to get the proportions way off. I'm an absurdist.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love the dramatic size.

[B]

Sure, sure, sure.

[A]

Yeah. Coded dolly is. I don't know enough about it all, but he definitely was the surrealist.

[B]

He's the guy. He was John Baudrillard fan.

[A]

Jean who?

[B]

John Baudrillard. I'm gonna take you down to my library.

[A]

See?

[B]

I am a creepy teacher.

[A]

Really?

[B]

No. You seem.

[A]

I'm getting that kind of vibe. And what does your boyfriend think of this? Or fiance.

[B]

Fiance.

[A]

Or soon to be.

[B]

Soon to be Husbo. And you guys are looking for a wedding act. Do you do weddings?

[A]

Yes, I do.

[B]

Have you?

[A]

I'm not cheap girl.

[B]

I'm a fan of you. Dude.

[A]

Stop. You say that.

[B]

No, I really don't.

[A]

What does a fan mean?

[B]

I just like your ethos. I like your energy. I like your success. I'm. I believe you deserve your success. That doesn't happen often.

[A]

Stops.

[B]

I just want you to know this has never ended well for anyone. Best case scenario, Whitney Houston. Bathtub.

[A]

I would.

[B]

I would be. You know what I mean?

[A]

I prefer the volcano thing, but it could.

[B]

You got.

[A]

Bathtub would be dope.

[B]

I believe.

[A]

I love a good bath. That'd be a great way to go.

[B]

You know what I mean? This is a level of success that has never ended well for truly anyone.

[A]

I'm not even successful. You might be mixing me up with someone else.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Do you know what I do?

[B]

I do I.

[A]

You thought I had other writers.

[B]

But I don't.

[A]

Do you? Do I know what you do?

[B]

Do you?

[A]

You're an actor.

[B]

Do you know what you do?

[A]

What do I do?

[B]

When you're ready to go to rehab, I've got your person. Thank you. If don't. No home doctors. No home infusions.

[A]

What about home births?

[B]

No. In the hot tub. No. As long as I can have the stem cells. Really? In a serum.

[A]

You want it?

[B]

I mean, I gotta have a plan.

[A]

My Parents. They ate my placenta. They made a placenta pie. Is that what you're talking about?

[B]

That is unfair.

[A]

That's an SC Local thing. They took a part of me me and they consumed it and I took a part of them.

[B]

Can I just ask you one thing about Santa Cruz?

[A]

You can ask me, of course.

[B]

Isn't there something called the Mystery Pit

[A]

or the Mystery Mystery Spot? Yeah. What's up with the Mystery Spot? So it's crazy. I'm so happy you have these amazing questions. I never went, but it looks crazy.

[B]

You've never been? No, I just feel like you're uniquely a product of Santa Cruz.

[A]

For sure. I'm at SC log. I hold it down for the bagel.

[B]

Are you in a rush?

[A]

Bagel re Santa Cruz. I want free bagels for life. And when I'm going there there, I'm expecting it. But anyways. What was the question?

[B]

I just. It seems like you're in a rush. You just abbreviated local. It seems like.

[A]

Let's see what time it is.

[B]

Yeah, it's three o'. Clock. We have to run.

[A]

Is it actually three?

[B]

I know.

[A]

I think I have a little moment.

[B]

I. Oh, well, I'm good.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Actually, I. I feel like we. We got it covered it.

[A]

I think.

[B]

I feel like we're good.

[A]

That's a good question. To end on the Mystery Spot. You really know Santa Cruz.

[B]

I do have to get on this zoom. Okay, cool. But I can make them. They can chill.

[A]

No, it's fine.

[B]

It's fine.

[A]

I have another thing to go to as well. I'm very busy right now.

[B]

Yeah, no, I like clear. I just. I have to just tell them, like, I'm sorry.

[A]

Let's wrap it up. I'm over. This is getting boring now.

[B]

I'm just like.

[A]

You think you're bored? I've been. I've been bored the whole.

[B]

No, I'm actually not bored. We're still podcasting and I know. I'm trying to. We're.

[A]

Let's wrap it up, you guys. Hey, sorry Wendy can't make it today. She's going through a bit of some hardship financially. She needs more money from Saudi Arabia. If you guys guys can plug her in, we need to get her to the royal prince. His Majesty needs to be addressed. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry she can't make it.

[B]

And Oliver, I'm so sorry that you weren't invited to perform Saudi Arabia.

[A]

Oh, no, I've been invited. I turned it down.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Sa.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Download TikTok to discover easy home decor ideas.