Sabrina Carpenter and AI Outrage, Staged Protests, Reality and Vacations are Broken | Episode 294

Summary

Podcast Summary: Good For You | Episode 294 Title: Sabrina Carpenter and AI Outrage, Staged Protests, Reality and Vacations are Broken Host: Whitney Cummings Guests: Sabrina Carpenter (featured topic), Pat (co-host)

---

1. The State of Modern News

Timestamp: 00:00 - 02:34

Whitney Cummings opens the episode by humorously dissecting the fragmented nature of modern news across various social media platforms. She highlights the absurdity of misinformation prevalent on platforms like Twitter, TikTok, Facebook, Threads, and YouTube.

Whitney: "According to Twitter, the news is we are in World War III. According to TikTok, the new bestselling dress is one that you can wear six ways, even though two of the ways may lead you to accidentally hang yourself." [00:45]

2. Sabrina Carpenter and the Feminist Backlash

Timestamp: 02:34 - 07:06

Whitney delves into the controversy surrounding Sabrina Carpenter's latest album, which has sparked anger among feminists. She critiques the current state of feminism, arguing that it has become paradoxical—promoting women's independence while simultaneously shaming those who embrace traditional femininity or show vulnerability.

Whitney: "Feminism, you know, means that women should be able to do whatever they want. Unless it's that we don't see gender, but we want women to be equal." [03:10]

She questions the harsh criticism directed at Carpenter, suggesting that fans should express their dislike directly rather than attributing broad societal harm.

3. The Trauma of Child Stardom

Timestamp: 07:06 - 15:20

Whitney and Pat discuss the detrimental effects of child stardom, using Sabrina Carpenter and other former child actors like Miley Cyrus as examples. Whitney emphasizes the lack of empathy shown towards child stars, who are often pressured into adulthood personas without adequate support.

Whitney: "Can we just give child stars the benefit of the doubt at some point? We don't get to bully child actors because we were complicit in their trauma." [10:15]

4. AI and the Erosion of Authenticity

Timestamp: 15:20 - 23:41

The conversation shifts to the impact of Artificial Intelligence on authenticity, particularly in photography and media. Whitney criticizes the prevalence of fake photos and AI-generated content, lamenting the loss of genuine human experiences.

Whitney: "These aren't even, like, doll people that do it. It's like, it's people that, like, leave their house with someone else's hair on their head, and that's just okay." [16:40]

She humorously imagines a future where all photos are fake, expressing skepticism about discerning reality from fabrication.

5. Vacations in 2025: A Dystopian Outlook

Timestamp: 23:41 - 41:53

Whitney shares her personal frustrations with vacations in the current era, highlighting issues such as exorbitant resort fees and the inability to disconnect from technology. She describes her failed attempt to relax in San Diego, only to be overwhelmed by the chaotic reality.

Whitney: "I don't know. I'm stuck in California. It's always summer when your backyard is on fire." [35:00]

The discussion underscores the societal pressure to vacation while simultaneously dealing with global anxieties, making true relaxation nearly impossible.

6. The Nightmare of Resort Fees

Timestamp: 41:53 - 53:53

Whitney provides a hilarious yet critical take on resort fees, which she finds both excessive and intrusive. She narrates her unpleasant experience at a hotel that charged a $500 daily resort fee, primarily for amenities she didn't want, like Wi-Fi.

Whitney: "A resort fee is an extra charge imposed by hotels, typically in addition to the base room rate to cover the cost of various amenities and services. ... first of all, resort fee was $500 a day covers Wi-Fi access. Why? I don't want this." [45:00]

She mocks the convoluted justifications hotels provide for these fees, advocating for transparency and fairness in pricing.

7. The Absurdity of Loyalty Programs

Timestamp: 53:53 - 07:06

Whitney criticizes loyalty programs implemented by hotels and airlines, likening them to unhealthy relationship dynamics. She expresses frustration with being forced into loyalty systems to waive additional fees, arguing that it’s manipulative marketing rather than genuine customer appreciation.

Whitney: "We know what you're doing. Stop trapping us into your loyalty, bro." [50:20]

Her rant underscores the exploitative nature of these programs, emphasizing consumer fatigue and distrust.

8. Embracing Positivity Amid Chaos

Timestamp: 53:53 - End

In a surprising turn, Whitney concludes on an optimistic note despite the pervasive negativity discussed throughout the episode. She reflects on human resilience and the inherent positivity that persists even in challenging times.

Whitney: "The more bad news we get, the more positive we become. ... we are actually a very trusting, loving species." [40:00]

She encourages listeners to focus on positive behaviors and interactions, suggesting that genuine human connections can counterbalance the overwhelming negativity.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Whitney: "If you don't like someone's work or their album or photos, just say you don't like it." [02:15]
• Whitney: "Can we just let her have this one? Miley Cyrus did the exact same thing." [11:30]
• Whitney: "Half of celebrities now have fake teeth and we're just letting that slide." [17:50]
• Whitney: "Can someone just put me in a facility? Because I think I've lost my own brain." [20:45]
• Whitney: "I just want to let Sabrina Carpenter think this is the first time she's ever been thought of as sexy to people." [14:30]
• Whitney: "We're creatures of habit. The algorithm will just give it right back to us if we liked it." [49:00]
• Whitney: "Everything's fake. They've always been just knowing a camera is there. You're gonna be fake." [16:00]
• Whitney: "We are actually a very trusting, loving species." [40:30]

---

Conclusion

In this episode of Good For You, Whitney Cummings offers a sharp, comedic critique of contemporary societal issues, including the fractured state of news dissemination, the pitfalls of child stardom, the devaluation of authenticity through AI, and the commercialization of vacations. Despite the pervasive negativity, Whitney ends on a hopeful note, emphasizing human resilience and the capacity for positivity. Her candid and humorous take provides listeners with both entertainment and food for thought on navigating the complexities of modern life.

---

Subscribe to Good For You: Watch the full episode here.

Transcript

[Whitney Cummings]

July 18, I'm going to be in Winnipeg, Canada, at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival. That's July. I'm also coming to a bunch of cities in the fall, so you know where you know what to do. Okay, let's get to the news. Let's go. Here's the thing, though, when you talk about the news now, I think you have to, like, say what news is on every platform, you know, because it's not. We don't have universal news anymore. So here's the news. According to Twitter, the news is we are in World War III. According to TikTok, the new bestselling dress is one that you can wear six ways, even though two of the ways may lead you to accidentally hang your. According to Facebook, Marjorie Taylor Greene is currently the sitting president. According to Threads, every immigrant has been set on fire by Donald Trump personally. And according to YouTube, we are in a simulation built by aliens and the dinosaurs built the pyramids. But Bigfoot may or may not have helped. So I don't know what your news is currently, but mine is mostly about how Sabrina Carpenter has set back women 60,000 years with her new album. People are very upset. The feminists are mad at Sabrina Carpenter because currently feminism, you know, means that women should be able to do whatever they want. Unless it's that. Unless it's that we don't see gender, but we want women to be equal. Also, we kind of hate women who lean into any kind of socially constructed femininity or do anything that could be perceived as male gays, because that means you want validation from men, which would mean technically that you're insecure and possibly damaged. And you're not allowed to be insecure or damaged. You have to be unscathed and perfect at all times. And you certainly can't make mistakes in your 20s. Just FYI. What are we. What. When did this. When did feminism turn into this? If you don't like someone's work or their album or photos, just say you don't like it. Just say you don't like it. You don't have to say she's setting back women or, like exacerbating a trope. Don't say trope. Don't say trope at all. So if Sabrina Carpenter, with her new album, if she's, like, strengthening a stereotype that women are supposed to be hot for men, well, you're strengthening an even worse one, which is that women are catty and they talk when they shouldn't, and you're they hate other women. They hate other women. Can you just send Sabrina Carpenter an Edible Arrangement if you're so mad at her. Because if you have a criticism for a celebrity, how else would you get to be superior? I understand that the Lolita. There's like a Lolita inspo in the album. It's lock Lolita. The book is a bummer, okay? I hate its guts. Can we go after the guy that wrote it?

[Pat]

Dead good.

[Whitney Cummings]

Where's his grave? Not dead enough for this guy. Is Sabrina doing satire? I don't. I don't know. Does she think Lolita the story is awesome? Does she think that an old head creep being into a teenager is cool? But probably not. But does she maybe identify as Lolita because she was a child star? Maybe. Maybe. Can we just give child stars the benefit of the doubt at some point? We don't. We don't get to bully child actors because we were complicit in their trauma, okay? We don't get to be mad at child actors that we help traumatize by watching their, you know, blizzards in Montana, Wizards of Montana place. I don't know, whatever the things are, people are like, Serena's reinforcing the male gaze, which has been the main TV aesthetic for 20 years. She doesn't know that she was a child star. She didn't watch tv. She has no idea what's been on TV because she was the tv. She had to be on TV because there are people out there who for some reason care and are emotionally invested in what's going on in a fake teenager's life. Okay, so this is where you and I differ on the Sabrina Carpenter drama. You think she made her new album art too sexual? And I think anyone over 20 who watched her act on a TV show when she was 13 should be in jail. That's where we differ. That's how we see the world differently. Let's be mad at the producers who thought she was a hot kid and put her in the pictures. If you were a child actor or like one of those, like, Disney kids, I think in their mind, they're like, I'm sick of being seen as a little kid. You know, I want to be sexy. So here's the thing. Let's just not tell her that. I'm sure a lot of people found her way sexier before this. Okay? She may not realize that a lot of her fans find her now in a push up bra, kneeling at a man's foot, unsexy, because she's doing it at the old age of 25. Can we just let her think this is the first time she's ever been thought of as sexy to people. Can we just let her think this is the first time she's been sexualized and that it's on her terms? Can we just let her have this one? Miley Cyrus did the exact same thing. She went super sexual, like right after she was a child star. And honestly, I think this is the best case scenario of a child actor's aftermath. Like, can we just imagine being a child actor where you had people like putting on your makeup and doing your hair and picking your clothes and telling you, like, stand here and stand there and you know, pretend that guy's your dad and your real dad is like, do it. Tell that stranger you love him so we can get a new house that you'll never get to live in because you're always on set with a bunch of adults inhaling wet paint and having a pretend personality even though you haven't developed a real one yet. Also, stop eating. It's going to ruin your lip liner. Sweetheart. There's nothing sicker than this girl's pa. We agree that being a child performer is traumatic, but that if there are any, like, signs or ostensible signs of trauma that don't make us feel better about ourselves, we shame them for it. We're only okay with people having trauma symptoms if it's like addiction, getting arrested, but if it's like super high functioning and a person getting successful and then tries to do something like satirical or controversial, that may be self sabotage maybe, or may just genuinely be the direction she wants to go in. You know what? Maybe she wants less fans. How else do you get less famous? If you are famous, you can't undo fame. The best case scenario is to at least get rid of the annoying fans. That's like the only thing she can really do. Maybe she wants less fans and to be less famous and weed out the people who want her to be their own personal doll that they can control with their reaction. Tiktoks maybe. Maybe this is on purpose. I don't know. But child acting, it's traumatic and you don't get to decide. You don't like the trauma response. Some people don't like her response to being sexualized as a kid, that she continues to think that's her thing as an adult. Like, you don't get to be traumatized, but also like, pretty. Like you just can't. Like, you need to shave your head. You need to chase paparazzi with an umbrella like Britney did. If you're going to Be blonde and pretty. You. You have to shave your head or else we cannot allow you to have had trauma. We just don't. We don't. It doesn't. Dude. Once Amanda Bynes dyed her hair black, everyone was like, oh, this poor. What do they do to this girl?

[Pat]

The dark side.

[Whitney Cummings]

I know. Do you know what I'm. I don't know. I don't know. I. I'm sure defending Sabrina Carpenter is going to get me in trouble somehow, but guess what? I'm not the person who gussied her up. I'm not the person that did contour on toddlers faces and filmed her entire childhood for money. So I feel like I should be off the hook. Okay, I am filming some of my own toddler's childhood, but that's more to have it in my back pocket if I ever need to make a cameo in family court. There's an argument to be made that, like, if you are putting your kid on social media, you're making your kid like a child star or something. I lose money posting my kid. Okay? When you post your child, everyone is mad at you. People are like, whitney, you can't have him outside without shoes. And look at that. That diaper brand is toxic. Meanwhile, my exes are like, hey, you seem really happy. Congrats. I'm like, it's a dark day when your exes are nicer to you than a mom influencer. We've always done that. We've always showed photos, our kids. It's fine. It's fine. I don't know how long I'll put them on social media, but it's fine. This is the best case scenario. We used to show people photos of our kids with our wallets. That was way weirder. It's so much less weird and so much less dangerous to post a kid on social media than what we used to do, which was take him to Olen Mills in the mall, put him in a room with a guy who signed up to photograph kids for a living, who doesn't have his own kids, who's probably the mall Santa.

[Pat]

He's keeping track of all the kids in the area, in the local area.

[Whitney Cummings]

He's like, just put your address down. I could always just meet you at the playground if you want, take some pictures in action.

[Pat]

I can hand them off.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'll print a bunch in every size. Every size. I'll give you like a six by three. What? No one wants any of these? You know someone who's printing photos of a kid printing them that small? That Is a. You want them even smaller?

[Pat]

Do you want him in missing person size?

[Whitney Cummings]

He just makes it so it fits right on the milk carton. He's like, well, I'm just going to make sure that. That you can at least pretend to look for your kid even though we know where he is. Like, why would they make sizes so tiny of our. They're already. It's already a kid. I already know he's small. You need to be small. How small do need him, sir?

[Pat]

Locket size.

[Whitney Cummings]

So I can wear your kid hiding in place against my chest. I just. I just want enjoying your child in my locket that I sleep in at night, get it tangled in my chest hair. It just every. Any version of showing anyone your kid is weird.

[Pat]

You mind if I do an extra fridge magnet out of this one.

[Whitney Cummings]

Just so I could eat a banana while staring at your child? Like, what? I just tell every. You can't have any documentation of your kid without it being weird. Like, I mean, is it not weird to go to things remembered and have someone engrave your kid's face in a piece of glass so your child looks like. Like he's trapped in a piece of ice? Like, yeah, I post my kid on social media. At least I don't make art where they. He looks like he's stuck under a frozen pond. That glass thing with your baby etched in it is not childproof. I cannot take the risk that my own child will get concussed by a giant hunk of glass with his own face on it. We got to get back to the news. That may or may not be true because there's truly no way of knowing anymore. So I was reluctant to weigh in on the L. A Downtown protests. I was right to be reluctant, but I, you know, me, said it anyway. Did it Anyway, look, Pat did give us some intel last time that it felt a little bit performative. And Pat is right about everything, except that Dropbox should be used in a professional setting. That is just emotional abuse, full stop. There is a video where it appears that a photographer and a protester are, like, modeling, staging a photo shoot. To watch this video does break the last part of my brain that was somewhat functioning normally. Like, here's what is so annoying about this video. My brain went to, well, what if this is staged? This is. This is the problem. We are so far gone with not being able to trust our reality. When I saw the video of a journalist, photographer and a protester staging a photo, I was like, well, that's probably staged. That kind of looks like an actor pretending to be a journalist staging a photo shoot. So I don't know. I don't know how the truth works anymore. Honestly, I'm at the point where I crave a fake ChatGPT photo. At least I know it's fake. Honestly, that's the only kind of dignity anybody can have anymore. Can you just tell me I'm about to be lied to? I will go along with it. I agree. You should lie to me. I have such bad add that you have to lie to me to get me to keep watching your thing you actually do. I'm not going to watch your channel or your news unless you lie to me and exaggerate. We both agree that if you don't lie to me, I will probably go do something else. I will walk around my yard and hope that I fall by accident and get it caught on the ring camera so I have some content. We have other stuff to do. Okay. We can't give you our attention because we're too busy trying to get attention. So you're gonna have to lie to me to keep me captivated. We both know this. So, honestly, the news being fake is so. It's kind of heartbreaking. It's actually so much more about their insecurity at this point. Like the fact that journalists are like, news people need to lie. It either means, of course, they're being controlled by a corporation, which is like so embarrassing, like you're a grown man. Or it means that anyone who does know the truth or would be an on the record source who could tell you the truth to relay to us won't call you back because they don't respect you. Or you need to lie to make people watch your journalism. Every version is pathetic and sad. And now I feel like a bully. I mean, so anyway, if this photo from the LA protest was staged, why not just make a ChatGPT version? Is this how they get us? Is this. Did it just happen? This will not be a problem. We will easily know what is fake because the fake one will be the one we like more. That's how we'll know whichever one we like more. That's the fake one. Can we stop pretending that we don't prefer fake over real? What if photos are fake? First of all, photos have always been fake. They've always been just knowing a camera is there. You're gonna be fake. You're gonna pose a certain. Is this a natural way that anyone stands not on camera? As soon as someone sees a camera, they just arch their back and like put like, we lose our minds and turn into fake people. As soon as somebody even holds a camera, people will send me photos and be like, whitney, look at this fake photo of you that was Photoshopped. That was on ChatGPT. Like, every photo of me is fake. Truly. Every photo. Every photo of me that exists. I'm wearing Truly Cock and grout shellac on my face. All right? I've got brown goop on my eyelashes to make it look like they even exist. Unclear why. It's also waterproof, which is truly crazy that we're expected to stay looking like a lady of the night in the ocean. But you have to do waterproof mascara because if your mascara runs and your guy thinks it's hot, you have to, like, call the authorities. It's like, try to just avoid that nightmare in Truly. Any photo of me recently I've sprayed on my hairline, okay? Because my baby vampire ate my hair follicles in utero. Because he clearly does not want a sibling. He wanted to make sure that I was bald so no man would ever impregnate me again. I don't know. A lot of the times that you see me, I'm wearing someone else's hair on my head. It might not even be someone else's hair. It might be fake someone else's hair. This is how gone we are as a species. We're like, these fake videos and these fake photos. Humans started gluing other people's hair to their own heads, and we just kept moving. These aren't even, like, doll people that do it. It's like, it's people that, like, leave their house with someone else's hair on their head, and that's just okay. We have fake nails. My real nails honestly look like they have special effects makeup on them from Blumhouse to look like the bundle of sticks in the Blair Witch Project movie.

[Pat]

I'm going for Buried Alive.

[Whitney Cummings]

The other day, my son saw my nails without press on like or gel nails. It made him cry. He went, oh, no. There's. I said the video. The truth is traumatic. You see? No one wants to see it. It's a bummer. I have to gorilla glue fake nails so my son doesn't get traumatized by reality. All right? To be upset about fake pictures is hilarious to me because we've also accepted way wilder things being fake. We're fine with fake food, but photos is where we draw the line. We eat food where the ingredients are just colors and no one cares. It's when runts were invented. No one was upset. No one was like, I don't know about fake food. Like a fake banana made out of bleached sugar. Which again, fake sugar. And like, what's in a run? Like nail polish. I don't know, Sherwin Williams and like, red number five. I don't know what a run even is. Tastes like shampoo. No one is upset. No one got mad. Even real fruit is fake now. It's got GMOs on them. Bill Gates has got a schmegma coating on it. What goes in your body is fake. Okay? People only eat real fruit if a doctor makes them. Like, we draw the line at pictures being fake. Can we all start pretending we care if anything's fake? We love it. You know when you compliment someone on their purse and they're like, it's fake. You're like, oh my God. You have like a burk. Like, fake. Like bragging about the fact that people want fake. They get excited to tell you. You're like, oh my God, look at your air ma's back. They're like, fake, fake, fake, fake. Like, and we're supposed to be like, that's so awesome. It's fake. Like, you got a fake one. You're not dumb enough to get a real one. Like, you want the fake person even though you know a real kid made it. That's the only real thing about any of this. Half of celebrities now have fake teeth and we're just letting that slide. Honestly, I look forward to the day I can use AI to say, hey, I want to watch this movie. But can we make the lead actress not look like she has a Pottery Barn headboard in her face? This is a movie about the Civil War. The women should not have veneers. Can someone just can. Okay. Hey, I, can you put wrinkles on the 55 year old woman in the movie, please? Hey, I, can you make everyone in this movie look their actual age? It's weird that the mom and the daughter look the same age. Can you make the people who look fake from surgery and Botox look real so I can buy into this reality from the. AI will honestly probably be used to make fake things look real at this point. Hey, AI, I want to watch this movie, but can you make the actor not be covered in self tanner? And can you remove his calf implants? It's kind of distracting in a movie about the Spanish flu. I. I just. I hope AI goes for I. Hey, AI can make the person next to me's perfume stop giving me a migraine because they wanted to Pretend to smell like vanilla and cedar. People want to smell fake. We fake our smell. And no one thought. No one thought it was weird when perfume rolled out onto the market. Like, AI is going to be as normal to us in 10 years as it is normal for us now to spray ourselves to smell like anything except a real human. AI Fake photos is way less weird than paying money to smell like a sugar cookie. Like, you're basically identifying as a sugar cookie. And we all have to participate. Like, we want to be fake. We hate. Everything about us that is real, we hate. And then when there's a photo that's fake, we're like, I don't know. Like, this is the. Our favorite days of the year are as follows. First is a holiday where we pretend a fake man from the North Pole gives us presents. Followed by a holiday where we all dress up in costumes to be fake vampires and slutty soldiers. Followed by Easter where I'll pretend a giant body is leaving eggs everywhere. Then we fake we don't know where we hid them. Then we eat candy, eggs that are full of chemicals and poison that kill our real eggs. And now fertility is down, which I do believe is a real statistic. It might be one of the only real things I. The happiest place on Earth is Disneyland because it's all fake. You can't be against fake photos and AI making things fake and then go to Disneyland and drop 300 bucks on a pair of ears to make you look like a sexy. We have to pick Elaine. You don't get to take a bunch of photos with a Hooters waitress not even pretending to be a real princess. It's not a girl pretending to be Meghan Markle, who is kind of a fake princess, but also kind of real.

[Pat]

MEGHAN MARKLE, ACTRESS.

[Whitney Cummings]

We spend fake money with credit cards. Have you ever seen a resume? Everything's fake. I have three Russian movers in my home right now. Have you ever asked a friend to help you move? Your friends are fake. Vegas has the most tourism of any city. No one wants to go see the real Eiffel Tower. They don't speak American over there. We don't want it. Okay? We will survive the fake photo apocalypse. We've always had fake photos. It used to just be called art. Remember, a painting is a fake photo of a real thing. And we hang that in a museum. They're worth millions of dollars. They're worth a fake amount of money. I prefer a computer doing my fake photos at least and not some guy in the 1800s asking a 10 year old ballerina to pose so their body can be sculpted by them. Can we not with Degas and his ballerinas. I know this is a deep cut, but I just really feel the need to trash this guy. The only thing was real that was the trauma to those 10 year old kids who had to be sculpted by this weirdo who was like, these kids won't stay still. I'm just going to sculpt a 10 year old's body so they can't run away. Forever 10 we before forever 21 there was forever 10. Do you guys ever notice like what's the deal about how the same headline can sound completely different depending on where you read it? Ground News is an app and a website that compares how stories are covered across political perspectives. It shows you how many outlets are covering a topic, their bias rating and how the framing shifts between the left, the right, the center and all the sides. You can also use the bias bar to see how attention is distributed and the blind spot feed. It shows you what stories are being ignored by what side of the spectrum entirely. Wow. For example, like the Greenland Space Base, Greenland Space Force Base story was covered very differently depending on the outlet. Probably because they some dyslexic people work there. That was hard. Ground News lets you line them up side by side. Try it out. Go to ground news.com Whitney that's ground G R O U N D news slash Whitney. You'll get 40% off the vantage plan. Go do it and stop getting your news from me. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Better Help. Holding it together all the time is exhausting. Which is why I don't. As you demonstrate, even if nothing's wrong, you know, it just gets exhausting just pretending you're not hanging by a thread. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform. It connects users with licensed mental health professionals, not the guy who works out of his car. Sessions happen via video, phone or messaging. You can switch therapists at any time. There are over 35,000 therapists that are available through this platform. More than 5 million users have used it. If we could get like a dating app in BetterHelp of just the people who are actually getting therapy, I would appreciate it. The App is rated4.9 out of 5 from over 1.7 million reviews. Listeners can get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Whitney that's betterhelpaglp.com Whitney what is this? Cancel campaign on fake things. I'm relieved when I hear something is fake. When I Heard that the moon landing might be fake. I was like, thank God. That would have been dangerous. Remember the one that went up with the teacher in it, the Challenger, and didn't. Can we just only do fake from now on? This feels like reckless. It is so irresponsible to send a bunch of people up into space with no plan 50 years ago. Are you loco, dude? You sent them up there to film content. You're. Hold on. You're gonna go look at the moon and your priority was content, not whatever was up there. Like, is there water? Is there a life? At least go.

[Pat]

They just wanna.

[Whitney Cummings]

Go to the moon. Fine. And then fake the footage later like an adult so they can just. You don't do your wedding photos at the wedding. You do it at like two before you fake them. There's other things that you should be doing up there besides banking content. You can't send a bunch of dads up to the moon to get selfies. I prefer that the moon landing is fake. Okay, Then I will be like, okay, the government at least cares about the people that are that work for them doing brave things. Okay? I'm like, we don't ask soldiers to get selfies when they go to war. We're not like, can you just get like a. Some hot content? It's a dangerous thing. Okay, I respect. If the moon is fake, that is such better news to me. Like, I'm like, okay, our government knows how to sell a lie. So the Russian, China think we went there. They can stop their shenanigans. It's like how in the Cold War, Russia had cardboard tanks that were just for the tv. A cardboard tank is perfect for people being in it. Like a Trojan horse. Some. When something is fake like that, it's so much scarier. Like, if we told the world right now, hey, guys, the moon landing, we faked it. Everyone would be like, let's think twice about messing with them. They'll just lie about. That's thug. That is thug behavior. People love cheaters. Lance Armstrong has a fund now. People go, that guy's amazing at lying. Let's give him a bunch of money. Okay? I just think that fake is sometimes perfectly acceptable. And when I breastfed my son, he had to accept it too. Fake's not always terrible. I mean, look, we do know now that Biden was not mentally available for quite a while, right? And the government kept running. Wasn't that a relief? We're like, wait, hold on. Does this mean the president's kind of like a fake job? Oh, thank God. There seem to be some serious people in there who kind of keep the trains running on time. And the President's kind of like a mascot. Isn't that good news? I guess it's like our obsession with fake photos. Like, what is the difference between a fake photo and being fake in a photo? I think that your guys's outrage about AI is fake. How about that? You don't care. You do it because outrage boosts your post. And the more people see it, if you say if you're negative about something, more people want to see it. You know what? I'll do you even worse. The fake bots who are liking your fake outrage post about fake photos, they're boosting your post, but they're fake. So we're all just shadowboxing fake people for fake lies, saying how much we want things to be real. Can someone just put me in a facility? Because I. I think I've lost my own brain. I can't take the outrage about AI because people think that negativity is intelligence and it's not. You're not smarter than me because you don't like something. And if you don't like something, the implication is you have assessed critical thinker. That's what I'm saying. You've assessed all the dangers and all the angles, and you've made your decision based on being all knowing it. No, you don't know anything. You don't. You know, you're not going to trick me into thinking you know everything and have decided this is a bad idea. Also, documentaries aren't books. This is the same person. It's like, I watched this documentary last night. Why did you say it like you're better than me? It was about a hot blonde getting murdered. You didn't read a book. Also, by the way, documentaries. Not real. Sorry. Interesting. We love fake things, you guys. We're going to love AI but we also love hating something we're about to love. It's every rom com. She hates the guy. And at the end she's like, I'm sorry. I just. I'm a divorce lawyer and I'm scared of love. I'm sorry I was mean to you. But now that I'm at this airport and you're late for your flight, I love you. I do have good news, though. Bad AI is making us like reality more and appreciate reality more. It's like the great Kendrick Lamar said, show me something natural like a tush with some stretch marks. Now you are craving reality. This is just gonna change what we consume and it's gonna be less highly produced, which I appreciate. I love a lo fi real person. Because reality shows aren't even real, right? They're curated and they get everybody drunk and it's cut together and it's scripted and they know they're on camera and they're performing. Whatever. Now regular people get to be the entertainers. And I do believe regular, which is not an insult, just non entertainers are so much more entertaining at this point. So I finally get to fulfill my kink, which is watch non entertainers. Why do you think I go to the airport so early? So I can just watch people. It's. I'm on the edge of my seat, okay? My current favorite TV show is just surveillance footage from, like museums. So this guy went to a museum in Verona. I want to say he sat on a chair that was art and it was covered in crystals. I could not. I just could not be happier about this video. Okay? I am just so excited that the dumbest people on the planet get to be our celebrities now. Okay? I just. Celebrities get too self aware. Entertainers, there's just like something so fake. We're gonna move toward our main form of entertainment being ring camera and surveillance footage of people breaking things and hurting themselves. Not on purpose, like in dumb ways. And it's going to be so much better because I would never think to do something this dumb, okay? So humans are going to get even more fun to watch because AI would never think to take a selfie with a bear in the wild and get its head eaten off. So we get to. We're going to get to see more of that, all right? We're going to get to watch your cousin get his head eaten off in GoPro footage. Like, this is the entertainment I've been waiting for. Also this guy, okay, this guy sitting in a bedazzled chair in a museum. Him thinking that's gonna be a good photo to send his friend. That's art. This is. This is what you guys aren't getting, okay? You can't make art on purpose. I don't think what he's doing is a good photo. Him thinking it's a good photo. That's. I have not seen a good photograph in years. Everyone's so rehearsed, they're so self aware. They're posed, they're filtered. This dude is in under our. This is like a Diane Arbus level piece of work they are trying to capture. He's in his like Under Armour outlet olive green shirt that he for sure swims in. Also he's got like a crossbody, like bluetooth headset, like some sharper image sail rack contraption. Kate, this uncle, he is the most uncle dude I've seen in my life. Him thinking sitting in this chair is going to be the thing that gets him out of Facebook algorithm jail because he posted too many memes about Michelle Obama. Being a man is so much better than looking at this chair. You cannot be an artist who studies the human condition, depicts allegory about human nature and the complexities of life, and. And think this chair is what anyone wants to see. Artists are supposed to understand on some level the human condition. Okay. They're supposed to read a room. If you be dazzle a chair and think people are going to pay money to go see it in this economy you hate, who do you hate? Yourself. Us. If you bedazzle a chair, that's not art, that's Etsy. We've got Etsy, we have Pinterest. Everyone's bedazzling chairs. Everyone. I live in Los Angeles. A bedazzled chair is every chair in every strip club in L. A. Okay, if you're bedazzling a chair and putting in a museum, that's an art. That's a dare. Okay, if you're bedazzling chairs, also, you have no friends. No one's telling you the truth. You don't know how people work. You don't know what people want to do. Nobody benefits from seeing that chair in person unless they leave with a photo or a lawsuit or a good story. Okay? Okay. So Pat, tell me right now that you went to a museum and saw a bedazzled chair this weekend. So, Pat, what'd you do this weekend?

[Pat]

Well, it was father's day.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, cool.

[Pat]

So obviously packed up the kids. There's a bedazzled chair in the South Bay.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Of Los Angeles. It was very bedazzled.

[Whitney Cummings]

She went and saw a chair.

[Pat]

Yeah, it was shaped like a chair. I didn't, I didn't see anybody sitting in it.

[Whitney Cummings]

Why did you do that? Like, when you tell someone this is what you did this weekend, it just ruins. Like, I don't want to work with you anymore. Like this. Doesn't someone going to see this chair and then telling their co workers or friends about it ruins their life. Okay. People talk about how comedy is changing, how entertainment is changing and commerce and the whatever. Listen, art's only value at this point is to build tension. If you can create an environment where a. A normal person would ruin it, that is the Only version of this to be interesting. Okay, Homer Simpson over here, who just just drove the value of this chair up like a Billy buckles by sitting in it. Now it's valuable because something interesting happened to it. Broken things have more value. I've been trying to explain this to my therapist so I don't have to fix myself. Broken things are better. Unbroken things are boring. It's over. What are we doing? Okay, we don't need to see your perfect chair. We get to be perfect now. On social media. We get to bedazzle our faces with a filter. One swipe, it's not interesting anymore. You have to change it. You artists need to stop with this bullshit. Also, I know people are going like, but this was based on Van Gogh. Van Gogh. Van Gogh. Van Gogh was fine. All right. He cut his ear off. Got him. Good press. I had my ear bitten off my entire head. No one puts my stand up specials in a museum. I don't even know how you watch my stand up specials, frankly. HBO Max. No hbo Go, no Go to Be Roku. Whatever. You guys wouldn't even enjoy my six standup specials at this point because I thought them through. I practiced them. Why do I have to like art more if the person who did it was mentally ill? I'm not falling for this. Can I just do a podcast without being mad at someone from a hundred years ago for once? Look, there's a lot of things in life where you're expected to perform under pressure. Some of them are just not optional. Like the Sanchals. BlueChew is a service that delivers chewable tablets containing the active ingredients found in Viagra and cialyses are prescribed online. They're shipped directly to your door so you stay hard. Blue Chew Max is their option that combines both ingredients into a single chewable tablet. No in person visit. See Chris call. You don't need to go in person. No pharmacy lines. Just making fun of a legend.

[Pat]

No eye contact required.

[Whitney Cummings]

You don't have to just put duct tape over my mouth anymore in order to get an erection. You can just take a Blue Chew. Consultation is handled online with a licensed service provider. What if like the online is like, hi, we never stop trying. Your first month is free with promo code Whitney. You just pay 5 per dollars shipping. Go to bluechew.com that's Bluetooth. U E C H E W.com promo code Whitney. Although I did hear a story from a guy friend of mine who took it a little too early. Like he just like went to a girl's house. On like a third hang and, like, took it in the car and they just, like, talked for five hours. So just like, time it, time it. Well, guys, I have found my person and I. He's a skateboarder, which I did not see coming. Cause honestly, that is the thing I've made fun of the most in my life. But I want to work on the relationship, and I don't always know how because people, like relationships take work. And I'm like, what am I supposed to be doing? Like, popping your zits, like, tweezing your eyebrows. Like, I didn't know what work meant. And I'm also so bad at conversation. Like, I don't know what to ask him about because he is the famous skateboarder. And I'm like, so what got you into skateboarding? Like, it's like. It's like a guy asking me how I got into comedy, you know? So he actually initiated this because he heard we talked about the podcast, the Paired app. Okay. So the copy says most couples don't fall apart because one big thing, it's usually the little stuff they stop doing. Paired is a relationship app for couples. Yeah. Okay, so you download the app and you pair together. Okay? So every day I get a question. We both get the same question, but I'll get the question. He's already answered it, but I can't see his response. Like, in order to unlock his response, I have to. And so it's things like, what did we get the other day? Like, what smell reminds you of Chris?

[Pat]

Grip tape?

[Whitney Cummings]

Pus from an infected ankle? The lack of cartilage stitches the er. It's really fun and cute. I don't know. Anyway, go to get the app. Save your relationship. If you're into that kind of thing. Go to paired.com Whitney. Get a seven day free trial and 25 off a subscription. That's Paired. P A I r e d.com Whitney. How come all my sponsors are like, better? Hell, Paired. Fix your relationship.

[Pat]

Work on it.

[Whitney Cummings]

Okay, enough, enough, enough, enough. Let's just. Let's let's get. Let's get back. Let's. How's your summer going? Let's get back. By the way, this is. I do want to talk about this because that's the question. Hey, everyone's like, so how's your. Like, what are you, my high school bully? The first day of school, how's your summer? What is this question? It's like, how is your flight? You don't care. You know, how was my flight? You know, it was bad. You Want me to recap the whole thing? We're not. Summertime stresses me out because everyone's like, there's so much pressure, you know? Like, everyone needs summer. I'm not. I'm not a big summer guy. I'm not a big. I don't know. I never know what month it is. People like, how's your summer? I'm like, I. I don't know. I don't go outside. That's not something your boy can do. I'm diaphanous. I did tanning beds literally twice a day from the ages of 14 to 17. So honestly, if I leave my house during the day more than three times before I die, I will look like a stucco building in Orlando. I just start changing. So I don't know. And also, I'm stuck in California. It's always summer when your backyard is on fire. I. I just. I'm glad everyone's into the summer, but it feels like we're really pushing the summer agenda this year. You know what I mean? Everyone's just like, I don't. Summer's not my. It's just too much pressure to have fun. It's like New Year's Eve. You have to, like, show your legs. I'm just not. Also, now that Mariah Carey said she doesn't believe in time, nothing is off the table for me. Mariah Carey says she does not believe in time.

[Pat]

Somebody had to say it.

[Whitney Cummings]

Here's the thing. I did try. I tried to go on a vacation a couple weeks ago. Not like the kind where I break up. You guys know that when I have realized a relationship is over, I do overpay for a hut where me and my lover's relationship will go into hospice care. Wasn't that. Didn't want to do anything dramatic. I went down to, like, drove down to San Diego, got the hats, I got the lip balm, did the whole thing. Strapless bras. Because I'm on vacation. Like, the person you become when you're gonna go to the beach for an hour, like, is so funny to me. Anyway, here's the thing, though. I told people I was going on. I'm like, I'm gonna go on a vacation. I'm gonna go on a little, you know, thing. No one told me that vacations are over. Like, I knew about Blockbuster Video and Barnes and Noble, but, like, vacations are closed. Like, I didn't know. To think that I could go somewhere in 2025 and relax and recharge. Honestly, I am actually worried about my ability to perceive reality what kind of delusional cosplay from 2018 was I engaging in? Packing a bag with a straw hat, Flip flops? Sunscreen. To think I was gonna put on sunscreen and protect myself from the sun's rays when I think we're going to war. SPF 20. How about SPF AK 47? What is the proper SPF? To protect yourself from an atomic explosion, maybe? What did I think I was gonna do? Just sit by a pool with all that's going on? Just like sitting duck. Honestly, the most relaxing place I could be is not the Bahamas. It's truly a bunker at this point. So if bunkers could offer a four day, three night package, that vacations feel weird. And am I wrong? There's, like, nothing to celebrate. Like, to think anyone is capable of relaxing ever again is so delusional. If you think relaxation is an emotion or activity that is still on the table, you should admit yourself to an institution. Your options right now are fight or flight. Those are the only way we can all survive this daily nightmare of opening our phones to all this, like, buck wild madness going on in the world. Like, vacations at this point are truly just time to process all the things we've been able to ignore by some miracle. Vacations, at this point, it's the downtime. You finally have to process the horror of our existence. Like, we're able to ignore the truly, like, uncountable, horrific things that happen every day by, like, disassociating with work and the phone and shopping and telling celebrities they suck in YouTube comments and video games or whippets or whatever you do, you know, to keep yourself busy and distracted. But vacations? This is when all the horrific things you've avoided just catch up to you. I sat on a poolside lounger and I was like, I'm gonna relax. And it just was like, wait, hold on. Zoom has been filming us this whole time to train the robots when we just. Do I need to start reading the agreements. Wait, hold on. Hunter Biden's real. Wait, that whole thing? He's selling the paintings. Like, look, Chelsea Clinton interviewed the geico gecko for NBC News 15 years ago. No one care. Shirley Temple was in blackface to the waterline. I want to go home. I hate it here.

[Pat]

Can you put me back on the hamster wheel, please?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, totally. Like, this is a nightmare. It just everything comes, like, crashing down. Vacations used to be what you would do to relax, but now vacations are where you have to face the reality that it's impossible to Relax. The concept of a vacation broke because a vacation that would require the people that work at a hotel or a resort to be able to accommodate a guest or have the capacity to help other people. And no one can do that right now because we're all in an existential crisis. None of these people that work at these hotels are available to make you feel better and relaxed, okay? Because they're in a state of. Of existential dread, okay? They don't know how to help you relax, by the way, nor should they help you relax. We should be on high alert at all times. To help someone relax at this point is, frankly, sabotage. If someone is like, hey, you know, lie down, relax. Call the. Literally. That's what Bill Cosby said. Okay, why do. Why do you want me to relax so badly? Why do you want me. Why do you want me to have this. Yeah, why do you want me to have this champagne on by this pool? Why do you want me to fall asleep so bad? So you can take my crypto password that's tattooed on my lower back? Like, what do you. Also, I think that people have, like, a senioritis right now. It's hard to explain. Like. Like, everyone's telling us AI is about to take your job. So all these people who used to be there to comfort you and. And help you relax, they're in a state of mental collapse. So frankly, when we go to a hotel at this point, you should go up to the front desk and be like, how can. Can I help you? Are you okay? Do you need anything? Like, what's your plan? Do you want. Honestly, do you want to take my room and I'll work up here so you can figure out your plan B? The people that work at a hotel front desk at this point, like, they used to, like, welcome you and, like, be excited to see you. It was like, how can I make your stay better? Now you walk up and they're just like, hey, yeah, we can't find your reservation. You don't exist. We don't exist either. We're not. This is over. What are you doing here? Like, literally, they're like, I need your confirmation number, and you don't exist in our system. And I'm like, okay, well, I can't get the confirmation number because I can't get my emails because your WI fi. I can't get on your WI fi to get my confirmation number. You know, do you guys need more time? You don't let us check until 4. You have till you've had the whole day to know I Was coming in the fact, by the way, I've never been able to enjoy a vacation in any capacity because check in is at 4. At 4. So the first day of your vacation, all day, you're just waiting to check in. You're just waiting to check in. You're coming in early. They're like, can we take your luggage? You're like, you can't even find my name in the computer. You want me to give you my luggage? I have 22 dresses in here that I have never worn and will never wear again just for this trip that I cannot lose because how else am I going to look like a tropical ghost? No, I'm not giving you my luggage. Anyway, the haunting has begun. Okay, I get there. Okay? I get to this hotel. So they give me the amount of the room in addition to the price of their room. There was a resort fee. Okay, I'm going to read this verbatim. A resort fee is an extra charge imposed by hotels, typically in addition to the base room rate to cover the cost of various amenities and services. These fees can vary significantly. Blah, blah. They often include things like wi fi access. Okay, first of all, resort fee was $500 a day covers wi fi access. Why? I don't want this.

[Pat]

They're like, you're going to pay the cable bill for June.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, no, I'm on vacation. I don't want wi fi. I can't even handle emails from people when I'm not on vacation. The whole point of coming here was that I don't have wi fi. Right? If on vacation, I get an email and it comes in and there's a quote on the end of it. I'm. I'm suing your business. Okay? You know, like, everyone's got a quote on their email sign off now. It's like their name. And then it's like some quote. Like it's supposed to make me think. I think you read or something. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna change my mind about what I wrote. If your email sign off as some quote, like always detach from things not meant for you. You managed to attach that invoice just fine. Maybe detach the invoice. If you're gonna detach, you're also overcharging me. So maybe put down the Brene Brown book real quick and do the thing I paid you for. I don't know when you're supposed to be doing work. Can you just not remind me that. That your life philosophy is how little work matters in life? I don't know. Also, you don't get to make another person's quote your entire personality. Like choosing a good quote. It doesn't make you smart. Also, the person who said the quote should have to agree that you have chosen it to represent your whole ethos. Like, I hate Oscar Wilde now only because of the people who use his.

[Pat]

Quotes does he know you're closing out all of your emails.

[Whitney Cummings]

Remember when the Brand, Dooney and Burke asked Snooki to stop carrying their purses?

[Pat]

We'll pay you.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, can you please stop the only that is worse though than someone putting a quote in their email sign off. That's like a famous person is someone you've never heard of. You definitely don't get to do that. Okay? You don't. You don't get to like, you know, have some inspirational quote in some person I've never heard of. I'm not going to take your email sign off quote seriously if I don't know who said it. It depends on who said it. Okay? If the quote is like, the best way to work hard is to rest. Like, I like this quote. If Steve Jobs said it.

[Pat]

My third grade teacher.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. No, no. If Steve Jobs said, oh, the key to success is resting. That's interesting coming from a workaholic. Like, I like this perspective, you know, who worked so hard and realized it was pointless. You can't. It depends on who said it. Also, don't give me more work at work. Now I have to go Google this person. I have to go Google someone to figure out what your personality is. Stop. Stop trying to enlighten people without their permission at work. We don't want to be enlightened at work. We need to stay in a zone of all that matters is money. And we have to just like, this is America. We don't, we can't get, we can't stop believing in money right now. Today. Also you say, per my last email, you, where do you get off? You just responded thanks to 19 people on a chain.

[Pat]

Power move.

[Whitney Cummings]

Also, this resort fee, I. I asked them, I was like, what does this cover? They were like, well, also the fitness center. I'm like, I'm on vacation. When did resorts stop understanding what a vacation is?

[Pat]

Okay, we have the business center, the WI fi, the gym.

[Whitney Cummings]

I know. Like, look, having, first of all, having WI fi is bad enough. It takes away our excuses of not responding. The whole point of coming here is to be able to tell people, oh, the resort didn't have WI fi. I would pay you the resort fee to have no WI fi. So that when people Google where I am, it says this has no WI fi. So I actually can be offline. I will literally pay that if it means that I will break an addiction from my home. While people need to be able to say the place I'm saying doesn't have WI fi. Corporations are run by people who don't use their own products. That's why they put poison in them. That's why they put gyms in resorts. They don't go to their own hotels. They have no idea what real people want. They have an island, they have boats where laws don't apply to them. They're on international waters. Okay? These workaholics who started a corporate hotel, they're like, we got to make sure that there's WI fi because we're on a vacation. That's when you get the most work done, you know? No, you work on vacation because you're a money obsessed dork who needed to get very rich so you'd have friends. Because no one. Stop charging us money on our vacations for things that only you would use while on vacation because your family doesn't want to talk to you. And then now you're going to charge us extra to do the thing that we don't even want to do. Like, know me less. Right? It is now illegal for hotels to charge it at the end. They have to disclose it at the beginning to just make sure your whole vacation is ruined. Honestly, again, it's like the AI thing. If you're going to charge me this fee, tell me at the end. Certainly don't tell me on the first at 4 o' clock when I'm checking in. Honestly, I'd rather arrive and you just spit in my face. Is that an option? Can I do that instead? So of course my whole trip was about this fee. And I was like, okay, I got to like, figure out how to waive this fee. There's got to be a way to waive this fee. So. Right. So that I can talk about on the podcast and tell everyone, like, how to get around this fee. Right? So. So this fee is only waived. They said this to my face with a serious, without laughing. They said you can get this fee waived if you are a member of the resort point system. Can we stop with the hotel and airline cult programs? We know what you're doing. Stop trapping us into your loyalty, bro. Just be a good hotel and we'll keep coming back. We're creatures of habit. The algorithm will just give it right back to us if we liked it. I'm not getting the Delta app. I'm not joining your clubhouse. My home screen is literally texts, emails, dating app, Bumble. I mean, I'm with one, but, you know, we just. We want to keep. We just went on to log out to paired accounts to pair paired where I work on my relationship with my man. Okay? Delta doesn't go on there. Okay? I'm also not putting photos of your planes in my. My photo albums or my scrapbooks. Okay? We're not together. All right, how about all you airlines just start landing the planes, and we'll keep coming back. I already have to pick a political party, an NFL team. I have to pick a Kelsey. I have to pick an iPhone or Samsung. I'm not siding with one tube of farts over the other tube of farts. I'm not picking a fart tube to go on forever. Honestly, I made fun of polyamory once, and I got backlash, and now I would like to apologize and say I get it now. I'm polyamorous with hotels and airlines. I cannot get all of my needs met from one airline. If you guys believe about relationships the way I believe about airlines, I was wrong, and I am sorry. All right? And by the way, hey, airlines and your 500 emails is not gonna get. Is. That's not what's gonna seal the deal. I can't even check my email anymore. It's all, like, a brand that I already ordered from. Who's like, hey, where'd you go? Like, I got. I spent. I already bought something I didn't need from you. Dude, give an inch, man. Hey, hey, hey. You know that shirt you got? You want to get in a different color. I know. I want it in this color. I mean, what. I'm gonna wear the same shirt in different colors like. Like Pottery Barn's. Like, hey, hey, we have a sale. I'm like, I already bought all my. I got all the furniture. How do you think I'm checking your email about your sale on the desk? I bought from you. I got you. I got one. I won't need new furniture for, like, 10 years. All right? I already bought it at full price. Now you're gonna tell me there's a sale? Is that. And you wonder why I don't want to join your Barn point system? I'm also, by the way, I'm talking about a big chain that did this resort fee thing. I did leave this hotel because it was just. I don't want to pass the gym on the way to the pool. It Ruins the whole deal. Yeah, it just makes me feel bad, like I'm in a bathing suit. I'm already like, ah. So I did leave that one. And then I went to this place in Encinitas called Alila Marea. Am I saying it right? Excellent. No resort fee. The beach had no sand. It was magical. My only problem with the beach is the sand, so.

[Pat]

And they spit in your face.

[Whitney Cummings]

They fix it and they spit in my face instead. I'm relaxed now. As you can tell. It really. I really got a nice reset and I was able to kind of escape some negativity about everything that's going on in the world when I was on this. It's not a vacation. I was informed that when you have a kid, it's never a vacation, it's a trip. Yeah. So I went on a trip. I think calling it a vacation was my first mistake because words matter, guys. And look, I kind of sat there and I went through all the horrific things happening in the world and, you know, couldn't really go in the water much because there's still apparently toxic flame retardant that comes down from la, so you can't actually go in the ocean. And I just think it's interesting how optimistic we actually are as people. You might say stupid. I like to say optimistic. Like, I think most people are inherently positive to the point of being delusional. I don't think because people are so negative now, I actually think it's the opposite. The people that you see on Twitter and in the comments section, yes, of course, that's like a very small sample of people, but I think most people are actually like way more open minded than they're not. We just hear from the most negative people. Just remember we are a species who spat in a tube, gave our DNA away in hopes of meeting our real dads, the dads that didn't even want to meet us. If that's not optimistic, I don't know what is. We willingly give Silicon Valley our periods. We just let him track our period. We send naked photos of ourselves over text. Jeff Bezos had a text leak. What does that mean for us? What does that mean for the rest of us? Okay. We're actually very trusting people. So I just, after going through all this and, you know, kind of just like being, you know, a silly goose about things, I just want to remind everyone, like, we're actually a very trusting, loving species. Half of all marriages end and it's still our number one goal in life. I think that after looking at all this bad news, processing it on my trip, I really came out of it just being like, look at us. Look at us. The more bad news we get, the more positive we become. So I just. I feel like I want to just end on, like, kind of a positive note because, you know, I don't think we are all buying our own negativity at this point. I think it's just like high school. It's cool to be negative. It's cool to skip school. It's cool to think everything sucks. Like, no one is living as if everything is bad, is as bad as they're saying it is. People will be on a boat like, oh, everything's falling apart. An orca is about to sink your boat, and you're just out there. We're. We're not. I just think we all need to look at our behavior instead of what we're. What's being said online. Because our behavior, Elon Musk, is like, we're in a simulation. This is all fake. Then why do you keep having more and more kids? You know what I mean? It's the most negative. People I know are not living as if any of the things they say they're scared of are actually going to happen. If you do on vacation, the number one thing you don't do is ride elephants. Ever. Sam.