Space Tourists and Coachella Hell | Good For You Ep. 285

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Space Tourists and Coachella Hell | Good For You Ep. 285"

Host: Whitney Cummings
Guest: Pat (Co-host)
Release Date: April 19, 2025
Duration: Approximately 35 minutes

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1. Tour Date Confusion and Promotion Mishaps

Timestamp: 00:00 – 01:19

Whitney Cummings opens the episode humorously discussing her upcoming tour dates, revealing a series of errors in the promotional materials. She shares the challenges her team faces in accurately promoting her shows across various cities.

• Whitney: "I just can't stop trying to make drunk strangers laugh. It's my kink." (00:00)
• Pat: "Doesn't that say May 3rd?" (00:20)

Whitney humorously laments the mix-ups in her tour schedule, highlighting the chaotic nature of coordinating multiple events.

2. Podcast Misclassification as a Political Advertising Channel

Timestamp: 03:08 – 04:50

Whitney raises concerns about the podcast being erroneously labeled as a political advertising channel on YouTube. She and Pat discuss the implications of this misclassification, debating whether the show's content genuinely aligns with political advertising criteria.

• Whitney: "Am I a puppet of the deep state?" (03:19)
• Pat: "Campaigns are building their case around the show." (03:42)

Whitney expresses frustration over the label, questioning the automated systems that categorize content based on mentions of political figures or current events.

3. Women in Space Tourism and Public Perception

Timestamp: 04:50 – 21:01

The conversation shifts to the topic of women becoming space tourists. Whitney critiques the skepticism and backlash faced by women like Gayle King and Katy Perry who venture into space. She contrasts their experiences with those of male space tourists like William Shatner, emphasizing the differing public reactions based on gender.

• Whitney: "Imagine being like a 35-year-old woman and your man is like, I can't afford engagement right now." (24:50)
• Pat: "It's another thing I have in common with astronauts." (21:01)

Whitney humorously speculates about the motivations of wealthy individuals embarking on space missions, suggesting ulterior motives beyond mere exploration or personal interest.

4. Critique of Coachella and Modern Youth Culture

Timestamp: 21:01 – 35:02

Whitney delivers a scathing critique of the Coachella festival, mocking the behavior and priorities of the younger generation attending. She draws parallels between Coachella and historical events like Woodstock, asserting that modern festivals lack the genuine cultural impact of their predecessors.

• Whitney: "I want to talk more about, like, the implications of Coachella." (25:29)
• Whitney: "The whole point is to get a yacht. And then. And then you're going to be bored of the yacht." (24:50)

Whitney uses humor to highlight what she perceives as the superficiality and financial impracticality of attending such large-scale festivals, while also touching on issues like climate change and societal preparedness.

5. Satirical Take on Self-Action Figures and Social Media Trends

Timestamp: 27:30 – 35:02

In a humorous segue, Whitney explores the absurdity of creating action figures of oneself, critiquing societal obsession with self-promotion and digital personas. She envisions a future where such trends contribute to existential crises and societal decline.

• Whitney: "You can make an action figure of yourself. Is this good?" (34:00)
• Pat: "They didn't bring the loudest flat earther." (26:50)

Whitney juxtaposes the novelty of personalized action figures with potential negative repercussions, emphasizing the disconnection between real identity and digital representations.

6. Reflection on Personal Growth and Public Image

Timestamp: 35:02 – End

Whitney concludes the episode by reflecting on her personal journey, touching upon past challenges like eating disorders and toxic relationships. She humorously addresses the return of sponsors like Squarespace, intertwining her personal anecdotes with promotional content.

• Whitney: "I will fake my own death if I have to. You think I'm kidding?" (03:26) (Note: This quote appears earlier but is part of a reflective theme.)
• Whitney: "I had a maniac back then. I would wear beaded headbands." (34:30)

She balances self-deprecating humor with genuine insights into her struggles, offering listeners a candid look into her experiences behind the scenes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Whitney on Political Labeling:
  "Why do you think that we're a political advertising feed? Because I'm taken so seriously for my political acumen." (03:38)

• Whitney on Women in Space:
  "We are way too respectful. We're actually listening when people talk about politics and then respond." (04:30)

• Whitney’s Take on Coachella:
  "It's a shoot. People are like, it's a festival. No, it's not." (25:30)

• Satire on Action Figures:
  "Imagine being like, I control the simulation and this whole universe. And I feel like the simulator's like they started making mini versions of themselves." (34:45)

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Conclusion:

In this episode of "Good For You," Whitney Cummings navigates a whirlwind of topics ranging from tour promotions and podcast misclassifications to critiques of space tourism and contemporary festivals like Coachella. Through her signature comedic lens, she offers sharp observations on societal trends, gender dynamics in space exploration, and the ever-evolving landscape of social media culture. The interplay with co-host Pat adds depth and humor, making the episode both entertaining and thought-provoking for listeners.

Transcript

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, hey, y'all. Whitney Cummings here. You know me. You know, I just can't stop trying to make drunk strangers laugh. It's my kink. I'm gonna be in Phoenix, Arizona, on April 19th. May 2nd, I'll be in Lexington, Kentucky. May 18th, I'll be in Indianapolis, Indiana, trying to get your approval and love. What, Pat?

[Pat]

Doesn't that say May 3rd?

[Whitney Cummings]

What? Did I say 18th? I said people will be like, what are you doing in town? This why my managers keep asking for shout outs. I keep promoting the wrong dates. Anyway. May 3rd, I will be in Indianapolis, Indiana. May 19th, I'll be in Chattanooga 9th. Okay, okay. Why does it say Chattanooga? Th.

[Pat]

I don't know. Oh, yeah, I copied it. I hope the poster doesn't say that.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's Mikey.

[Pat]

No, it says tn I, But I did a visual grab of the.

[Whitney Cummings]

What did I just say instead of May 9th. Do not cut any of this. I want people to know.

[Pat]

You said May 19th. I think.

[Whitney Cummings]

Interesting. Interesting. We might need to make the font a little bit bigger or make my Prozac prescription a little stronger. May 19th, I'll be in Chattanooga. May 9th. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Here's what. Let me tell you what just happened. I'm gonna tell you what just happened, because now I know what happened beneath it. It's May 10, and I took the one and I carried the one.

[Pat]

You're subconsciously doing addition.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'm doing division, long division for text size. Okay. No, no, no. It's. I was just. Let me just. Here's the mistake you made, Pat. You put two dates within six miles of each other. Oh, you stacked them. May 9th, I'm coming to Chattanooga, Tennessee. May 10th, I'll be in Knoxville, Tennessee. May 25th, I'm going to be in Las Vegas, Nevada. Then I'm coming to Canada. July 18, Winnipeg. Aug. 9, Halifax. Aug. 22, Calgary. Now I'm just reading it all just to prove to you that I am literate. Except. September 12. Sorry, hold on. September 12, I'll be in Vancouver 5th. Ridgefield, Connecticut, to show. September 6, Huntington, New York. Richmond, Virginia. September 19, Norfolk, Virginia. September 20. I went to high school near these cities, so if you're one of my exes, come on down. October 3rd, I'll be in Toronto. Fourth of October, I'll be in Baltimore, Maryland. Let's go. October 25th, Fayetteville, Arkansas. Then the 25th, Hot Springs, Arkansas. November 21st, I'm in Reading, Pennsylvania. Then Philly. Let's go. Go on. The 22nd. Then Fort Lauderdale in December the 5th and then New Orleans, the 6th of December. Don't. You don't want to miss this. You. I wouldn't if I were you. Action. Hi, everyone. Pat yelled action. And you know what that means. It's time for me to talk for an hour again this week. It's every. It's relentless. I mean, it really is like. Ah, God, the podcast is out. I've got it. We need to retape tomorrow for next week. So last week was a big a bit. We talked about tariffs. Right. We talked about. I. Let me just cut to it. I have Tourette's, so I have to just tell you guys something I probably shouldn't. Our account, for some reason on YouTube, we have been labeled a political advertising channel.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Whitney Cummings]

And I don't know why. Are you.

[Pat]

Pat, Pat, it's raining down on us.

[Whitney Cummings]

Or am I a puppet? Am I a puppet? Am I a puppet of the deep state?

[Pat]

Unwittingly, yes.

[Whitney Cummings]

What am I? Well, clearly. Honestly, this is how they get you. It's like, I'd have to respond to an email to stop being a puppet, and I just can't. So why do you think that we're a political advertising feed? Because I'm taken so seriously for my political acumen.

[Pat]

Yeah. Campaigns are building their case around the show.

[Whitney Cummings]

What is this? Is that why? What is it like, for real?

[Pat]

I think anytime there's advertising involved with a show that mentions any political figure, categorize them.

[Whitney Cummings]

So all comedy podcasts that talk about politicians or current events, we're not the.

[Pat]

Only ones dealing with it, I'm sure.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. No, no, I. Okay. Oh, so I'm not special. Okay. I didn't get the memo that I'm the only person that anything's ever happened to. That said, I would like to take a break from talking about politics, please. I just, you know, I can't. It's. You know, what's wild? Like, I remember when talking about politics was, like, boring and rude and, like, uncomfortable and not exciting in any capacity. Like, the fact. I mean, everyone I know just wants to talk about politics. I'm like, how I never heard my parents growing up. Like, has it always been this way, or am I just.

[Pat]

When you're a kid, you're not really tuned in that well to, like, how interesting and bizarre it is.

[Whitney Cummings]

You weren't tuned in because your parents loved you. If your parents didn't love you, you had to know everything that was going on. If you're not talking to me, what are you talking about? And to who about what who's this. Who's this Jimmy Carter guy that you seem to be so obsessed with?

[Pat]

Who's this Dan Quayle?

[Whitney Cummings]

Who's this Dan Quayle that you're watching on TV instead of feeding your daughter? I don't ever remember them talking about politics. Like, I never heard them. I mean, I didn't hear them talk much. They weren't around that much. But when they were around, they didn't argue about politics. Okay? My parents argued about who was a worse parent. They argued about my dad cheating on my mom like normal people. They argued to gaslight each other. They argued for the love of the game, not for the fake good of humanity. I don't even think they voted. There's no way my parents voted. They. They would have had to settle on an identity to vote. I think you have to, like, pay taxes in order to vote. They'd have to tell someone their real name at some point or, you know, my mom's last name was Cumming and my dad's is Cummings. I think that's, like, how they bonded. Just like on. Like, you get bullied a lot too. Like, that's the only thing they had in common. But I think it's too embarrassing. You'd have to tell someone your last name is coming. You're like, I'm not going to vote this time around. I don't remember that. I remember them watching the news, but only when it was a war. Like, I remember Desert Storm being on. You'd watch it to see if, like, your son was going to go to war. My dad watched it just to see if he had to pick up his kid that day. Like, should. You know what I mean? It was like, is my son going to go die in the desert? Like, you know, I don't think I remember any of this, you know? See, growing up, the adults I was around would watch Golden Girls. People used to rather watch old women bicker than talk about politics. Like, anything but politics. Like, I feel like if the View didn't have politics, it'd be the number one show on tv. Like, it's just the politics. We didn't watch the news. We. We would watch Cops, which, if you guys grew up on Cops, you would not want to defund the police. So Google it if you want to like Cops. Again, that show is Savage. They watched O.J. simpson drive on a freeway for two months. Anything but politics was the point. Okay? If you didn't go to school for political science, the idea of you talking about politics was, like, actually, like, crazy. It'd be like. Like today if someone was lecturing you about psychology without a psychology degree, you, oh, that's all of Instagram now. It would be so weird to weigh in on politics back then without having, like, a degree. It would be like. Like someone from Sephora, like, weighing in on nuclear physics. You'd be like, oh, yeah, that's not. Like, they wouldn't even think to say anything. And, you know. Or you would just be like, oh, I don't have to listen to you because you don't know what you're talking about. You know? Like, now, truly, people, like my aunt that sells Mary Kay has thoughts about Israel. Let me read her Facebook post. Like, you used to just be like, that person's crazy. And that person thinks they know more than they do now. I think it's weird because everybody's like, everyone's so mean to each other on the Internet. I think it's the opposite. I think we're way too respectful. We're actually listening when people talk about politics and then respond. We used to just ignore people. We used to be like, oh, gosh, like, you know, aunt Wendy's talking about politics again. You would just, like, go in the other room. You wouldn't be like, okay, so then. Okay, so what do you mean, then? What is that? Then why is he in the tribunal? There's something weird about how we actually listen to people when they talk. It's actually. There's something really sweet about it. I actually think our nature is way sweeter than we give ourselves credit for, you know, I just don't. I don't know. Why am I listening to someone on the Internet talk about politics from their car without wearing a seatbelt? Like, why am I. Why aren't I just keeping going? Why don't I report abuse? I don't know. I just want to go back to talking about things I know about, okay? Like Minecraft. Did that get us trending? Did that get us in the algo? I'm not going to talk about the women's base yet. I'm only going to talk about the reaction to the women in the space, okay? People are like, it's fake. They're like, this footage is fake. You can find footage of Michael Strahan and Shatner, like, floating around. Same exact footage. You know, I don't know if it's fake. I don't care. I hope. Honestly, I hope it was fake. Why would we want real footage of this? Do you guys not remember the challenger fiasco? I was too young. I do remember, though. My older brother, like, came home one day just, like, just gone mentally. And this was when they. They put a teacher in a rocket ship in, like, the 80s. Was it like the 80s? And it crashed live on TV. Like. Like, teachers, like, rolled a TV set into the. And everyone watched. Kids crowded around and watched this thing break in half on live tv. I was. I was too young. I remember, dude, going into space as a woman used to just be synonymous with dying. It's like a woman going into the woods. You're like, she on a period. Like, it's. Women are going to space. You know how that goes. I think that they should probably cover their asses and maybe, like, shoot some fake footage in Burbank just to make sure that we don't get traumatized like that.

[Pat]

Why would Bezos allow footage of himself face planting to get out?

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, that's the exact thing you do to make it seem real.

[Pat]

That's right.

[Whitney Cummings]

You're like, that's exactly it. The hole did look fake that he fell in. Like, why is there a hole on the ground for no reason? It's like, hey, guys, just dig a hole real quick. That's, like, right there that I couldn't. So that it looks real. Real Housewives in space. Just do it. Just make the show. Put a bunch of rich women in space. Gayle King, dude, she had to come out and make a statement saying about the backlash. That's how bad it is. They were like, why you guys are being mean to us? Like, this is so disappointing. Like, you know, because Gail was actually terrified to go. Like, that was the craziest thing to me is you would just see Gail. Like, I don't know about this. I don't really want to do this, you know, which is like, no one cared about that. Like, you know, but also, it's not. I don't think it's that dangerous. Gayle King, of course she's scared to go to space. She's Oprah's best friend. Like, flying commercial from Montecito to the Hamptons is probably terrifying at this point. Like, she's. You know, this is a. This is like a. Like a southwest seat compared to how she's used to flying. But here's what I will say. I just want you guys to just calm down, first of all, relax. Especially if you're a woman. Relax. We're all going to space. Okay? This is. This is not. You know where this is going, right? This is in 10 years. This. The. The Blue Origin. It will be a ride. It will be at Disneyland. Like, the same people complaining about the Blue Origin flight right now will be buying Groupons for their kids in 10 years. Like, rich people just get to do it first. Like, the same thing probably happened with, like, roller coasters when they first came out. You know, they're like, look at these idiots. And then a couple women were like, let's go together so we don't get murdered. Let's go in a group and our core sets. And I was like, look at these women. I mean, I'm sure the first women on roller coasters were trying to get rid of pregnancies they didn't want. I'm just saying, like, I think that this has always. Maybe same thing happened with cruise ships. When cruise ships came out, I think probably were like, oh, why are these rich people going on these big boats like the Titanic? They were like, why are all these rich people going on this thing that's super dangerous on this mission to the unknown? It's because they can't feel anything anymore. That's why. Why are those rich people going on that boat when it's so extreme and unsafe? It's near glaciers. It's because they want to get away from the poor people. It's very simple. They'd rather drown in the ocean and hit an iceberg than be on land with the poors. Okay, Rich people would rather go to space than be around the billionaires. Would they go on the Titanic to get away from poor people? And then 100 years later, another billionaire went down to see the wreckage of the. That's how bad he wanted to get away from poor people. He's like, they had it right. I'd rather drowned as well. Okay. Rich people would rather drown looking at a boat where other rich people drowned than be near us. Okay, I don't. I also. What's the big whoop? Lauren Sanchez. She wants to see girls go into space. Good. Great. That'd be great. Also, here's another thing. Maybe it's not for us. I feel like it's for kids. You know when people complain about something and you're like, this isn't for you. Like, why did you even see this? You know, it's like when men in their 50s are like, Hey, I watched Euphoria is a little extreme. Like, you watched it. How do you even know? Why'd you even click? What? They're like, I know it's a little racy. I'm like, you're complaining about something that you never should have watched in the first place. All right, I just. Who she let her do her thing. It's for kids, okay? Lauren Sanchez wrote a book. It's about a fly who went to space. My kid loves it. You can't sell books any other way anymore. You're not gonna sell books with Kathy and Hoda, all right? Lauren Sanchez isn't gonna drive to Marc Maron's garage and talk for three hours about how comedy's changed. She's gonna go sell her book and live her life. She's gonna go up into space and move the book. She's a business woman, all right? And I'm going to take notes. And I want to be very clear with you. When I write a children's book, I will pull out all the stops, all right? I already went through hell with writing my last book and promote. You know how hard it is to promote a book? I waited eight months to promote a book. I spent two years writing a book, and then I waited eight months to promote it. I went all over the country. The day that I was parading my wares, I went on the Today show to promote my book. I'm standing in the wings. This is my day, my moment. And they said, whitney, we're not promoting your book today. I'm like, why? It's the only thing that matters, okay? I've had a hard life. I had eating disorders. I've had a hard life. I had depression once. I was in a toxic relationship, okay? And I need people to know about it. I need to help. And they were like, well, people were shot in Las Vegas. And I was like. And, okay, so there was a shooter in Vegas. That was a very hard day for me. If I ever write a book again, I will fake my own death if I have to. You think I'm kidding? Okay. I will marry Andrew Tate. Whatever gets me in the algo. I will have sparked romance rumors with Russell Brand if I have to. Okay? I'll visit Ghislaine. I will literally put a link to my book over my birth video. There was a time that sending a woman to space, FYI, was just a reference for the guy from Moonstruck threatening to punch his wife to the moon. That's what it used to be. So I guess I'm just curious why everybody's so mad that rich people are doing rich things. Like who? Like, who cares? At least the they didn't bring their kids into it. That's what guys do. The sequest guy, the rich guy that wanted to not go to space but go down to look at the Titanic, he brought his kid and in an Easy Bake Oven underwater that was controlled by a PlayStation remote off Craigslist. So can we just. At least they're not bringing children into the. Rich people, like, bring their kids on rickety helicopters all the time. At least they didn't, like, bring kids into it. Right. I think isn't the reason they're mad is because they're hot? Like, it's just that they're all hot. Of course women went. They asked a bunch of guys, but then they saw the spacecraft and it looked like a giant. And they were like, yeah, we can't board a giant and fly into the moon. We just can't do that. Also, why is no one talking about the fact that William Shatner and Michael Strahan went to space 2021? Was it talked about? Did we care? No one cared about that. No one cared when Shatner went to. Okay, Shatner went on the blue origin, the same thing that all these women on. He made a movie about it, a documentary about it. Okay, it was 11 minutes. Who cares? He made a documentary about it, all right? And instead of, like, being fun when he came back, like, oh, we went to the moon. Have fun. Yeah, Katy Perry was kissing the ground. Fine, fine. That was a lot. But she's also kissed way worse things, let's be honest. I just feel like he wasn't even happy about it. And we're like, yeah, that's how you're supposed to behave. You're supposed to be ungrateful and grumpy. He complained that when he went to space, it made him sad. And no one was like, hey, rich guy gets to do something that's super cool that everyone would want to do and can't even enjoy it, and is now complaining about it, and we have to hear about it. How sad he is. Like, rich dude in space complaining. He said it caused him grief. We didn't trash him about this. I'm going to read what William Shatner said about going to space verbatim, and you tell me if Gayle King and Katy Perry, you know, putting on a giant blue Spanx and doing it is as annoying as this. He said, I had a thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I had been looking for between all living things, that being up there would be the next beautiful step in understanding the harmony of the universe. In the film Contact, when Jodie Foster's character goes to speak and looks out into the heavens, she let out an astonished whisper. They should have sent a poet. I had a Different experience because I discovered the beauty isn't out there. Okay, you were shocked. You had a different experience than the fake movie, by the way, Jodie Foster didn't have that experience. No one had it. He's like, I've been in fake space my whole career. Then I went to real space. Like, not that much better. Like, no craft services up there. Like, how far gone is this dude? He said, I had a different experience. I discovered that beauty isn't out there. It's down here with all of us. What? By the way, this was in 2021. I guess it was before the whole planet was on fire. The beauty's not down here. I gotta be really clear with you. It's definitely not on planet Earth. Whatever you saw from up there isn't here anymore. Okay? We're all chock full of roundup. He wrote, it was among the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered. Imagine how much of an you are if one of the hardest days of your life was when you were flying into space with Jeff Bezos, making a movie for yourself and you were bummed because you didn't get to be Jodie Foster for a minute. Like, I had to read this so you guys have to hear about it because I can't deal with this alone. He wrote, in contrast between the vicious coldness of and the warm nurturing of Earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness. What sadness? This is what makes men sad. His four ex wives are just like, oh, really? One of them drowned in a pool. He's like, this is when you actually feel sad. When you're up there with all the billionaires going into space, being a pretend astronaut. Oh, now you're sad. This is what did it. What a. This is what filled you with overwhelming sadness. Being so rich that nothing made you feel anything. You needed to find gratitude somewhere. Somewhere. Because your life is so miserable. Being rich and famous and then you get up in the sky and it still didn't work. So when you go back down now, you're gonna have to do ketamine. What a bummer. What is this? Every day we are confronted with the knowledge of further destruction of Earth at our hands. Oh, he wrote about flora and fauna. What an A. No one says flora and fauna. Don't be an so I'm not going to read the rest of this because I just can't. I can't. I'm sure he'll sue me for like, copyright infringement or something, or marry me or do something to ruin my life. He wrote, my trip to space was Supposed to be a celebration. Instead, it felt like a funeral. He's been to a funeral for his wife. It felt like that no one got. No one was like, this is crazy. But the girls that got went to dry bar to get a blowout, and they're going up in space and having fun. Like, that's where we draw the line, he wrote, I learned later that I was not alone in this feeling. So you were talking to people about this. Oh, my God. Imagine having to, like, see William Shatner. And he's like, yeah, I just went to space. And I was like, how was it? He's like, I was like, being at a funeral. They're like, cool. So he talked about it so much that someone said that this is a common thing called the overview effect, and it's not uncommon among astronauts. But he's not an astronaut. He's like, yeah, all the astronauts go through this, but you're not one. You're an actor. You don't get to get in on this. You don't get to get in on the sadness of being an astronaut.

[Pat]

It's another thing I have in common with astronauts.

[Whitney Cummings]

Totally. I'm just saying that there was a space mission with guys, nobody seemed to care. It was like, very, very. It was like. Because that's what we expect. We're like, oh, Michael Strahan and the guy from, you know, Big Bang, he was on. The guy from Star Trek and all the sitcoms. Like, oh, he's up in space. Like, that tracks. Like, that's not news. You know, here's the thing about the gals going to space. I know you're really mad. Good news, bad news. This is, like, not the thing you should even be the most mad about. Like, if you're going to be mad, like, you should maybe just think about the fact that the people that are going to space right now, they're probably up there taking a gander at real estate for when the nukes come. They have a backup plan. Like, they're not just like, I need a photo shoot. Like, they. They're looking for a plan B. Okay. They don't trust me. They're like, yeah, no, we need to figure out what our next move is here. While you guys, like, we're mad at them. They're like, cool. You're mad at us. Cool. We're gonna live in space soon while you guys burn alive in this nightmare. While you guys inhale tires. Did you see that? We're all inhaling tires. They're like, yeah, we're gonna go up to space. First of all, we're in our 50s. We don't want to be around gravity anymore. I get it. I would love to live in space because I don't want to get Botox again. And they're just like, we're going to just go up there real quick and do a space mission. Meanwhile, they're, like, adding to car real estate on Mars that BlackRock has not bought up yet. Like, rich people always know something that we don't know. Okay? It's like when rich people move to Austin, the same thing. Like, why are you guys moving to Austin? Because they know the tax codes. That's why they're rich. If rich people are going to space, there's a reason they're going to space. Okay? There's something up there that we don't know about. Lauren Sanchez is so rich at this point that she's probably homeless. If you have houses between Malibu, Hamptons and Palm Springs, are you currently homeless? All of those places burned down in shady fires this year. And that's not weird at all. If you're rich, you might just have to go to space because it's the only place that will catch on fire. This should make people stop wanting to be rich so bad. You know? Like, everyone's like, this is wrong. Meanwhile, you're posting, you know, get money, get money. Hustle, hustle, hustle to do what to. The whole point is to get a yacht. And then. And then you're going to be bored of the yacht. And then you're going to get a plane, and you're bored of the plane. And then. And then you've been to Italy and you've been to Monaco and you get into pyramids, and you can't. You've seen it all. There's nothing to see anymore when you do that. The hustle. I got. I got it. I got it. And then you get there, and this is what happens, okay? It's like porn. Like, you watch so much that all of a sudden you're like stepsister and brother at a reunion. Like, it's. This is what it's always going to go to, okay? So just know everyone's trying to hustle and make money. Just know if you do get all that money, the final frontier is going to space. And then everyone on the Internet will make fun of you. That's as good as it gets. That's as good as it gets. That's the end. You guys, I don't know if you know this, but Pat and I are like family at this Point. And his mother makes this incredible sourdough bread, and she used to bring it to me. Like, I'm obsessed with sourdough bread. And she'd make it and Pat would bring it to me. And it was like this huge deal. But I recently discovered wild grain. And Pat, I think you need to tell your mom to go herself. I don't want it anymore, okay? She doesn't know what she's doing, okay? She's a hack. I discovered wild grain, AKA the easiest way to turn your freezer into a bakery. Wild grain is the first ever baked from frozen. Subscription box. Is this what your mom's been doing, by the way? What if your mom's just been using wild grain this whole time? Honestly, that would explain why the bread is so delicious. It's bake from frozen. A subscription box for artisanal bread, fresh pasta, pastries. You pop it in the oven straight from frozen, under 30 minutes, boom. Your kitchen smells like you live inside a French cafe. Minus the creeps. We're talking crusty sourdough, buttery croissants, hand cut pasta, zero stress. No need to pretend you know how to bake. Pat's mom, you can drop the facade. Everything's made with clean ingredients and delivered straight to your door on your schedule. If you're gluten free or plant based, no problem. They have boxes for that too. But not a boyfriend or girlfriend. Right now, they're offering $30 off your first box, plus free croissants in every box for life. That's right. Free croissants forever. That's literally like what I pray, pray for. Like, can I just have croissants forever? That's wild. Use code Whitney at checkout and get 30% off plus lifetime. That's so a lifetime of croissants.

[Pat]

Mm.

[Whitney Cummings]

Use code Whitney at checkout to get $30 off plus lifetime croissants. That's wild grain. No thawing, no mess. Just fresh from the oven. Magic in 25 minutes or less. Oh, gosh. Are you guys. What's happening? Are you guys still eating the same three meals on repeat? Like, it's like it's culinary groundhog day. Is that what we're doing? Let's fix that with Home Chef. Home Chef delivers fresh, free portion ingredients and chef design recipes straight to your door. They've got over 35 meals and 18 extras per week, with options for every diet and mood, including five ingredient me oven ready kits. And even a family menu is perfect for busy people, picky eaters, or anyone who's just over the grocery store roulette. The last meal I made from Home Chef was a garlic butter steak and roasted green beans. Tasted like something from a steakhouse, and I didn't even burn anything. Best of all, it saves you time, money, and that weird internal guilt loop of I should eat better, but also pizza. Right now, Home Chef is offering food. Your first box, free shipping, and free dessert for life. What? You will have free dessert for life as long as you are a subscriber. Dessert for life. Go to homechef.com whitney and thank me later. You might not be able to find a job, but you will have dessert and croissants for life. We literally are just France now. Here's what they. Here's the mistake they made. Do you really want to know the mistake they made, Pat?

[Pat]

They didn't bring the loudest flat earther.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's such a good idea. They should have just brought Sam Tripoli. That's so funny. Just bring Marjorie Taylor Greene and just be like, here's the thing. The biggest mistake they made. What do you think? I think it is they landed. They should have crashed. This is it. They didn't have to die. I'm just saying they'd have murals, and, you know, we love them. They should have got injured some little bit. They needed something to go wrong. It can't go too well if something goes too well. Now we're like, it's fake. You know what I'm saying? Right. Like, it's like anytime something goes well, we're like, I don't know about that. So they either needed to crash, fake a crash, or just really crash or something.

[Pat]

They just a rough landing.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. They needed to maybe get like, a shoulder pop out. Like, there needed concussions, maybe something. Something. Also, who's making fun of them? Are people, like, publicly making fun of them? Are we sure these people just didn't get invited? I'm just curious because sometimes that happens with girls. I don't. I just know that if I don't get invited to a wedding, the wedding is stupid and they spend too much money on the wedding. I'm just saying. I don't know. I'm sure this is gonna get me in trouble. I just do believe when I am not invited to something, it is very stupid. And, like, setting back society and, like, creating a carbon footprint, and it's pick me and wasteful. Okay. I'm just. Also, they're like, this. This wasted money. Where do you think that if they didn't do this, the money was going to, like, Go to homeless kids. Like, what? They're like, I can't believe they're spending all this money. Where did you think it was going to go? You think they were going to donate it? I want them to donate the money. Okay, you want them to donate the money like a charity? That would just give them more tax write offs. If Jeff Bezos donated $22 million to a charity, he'd make $50 million back. Who knows? But I would have gone last weekend to space if for no other reason than to get away from photos of Coachella. Jesus Christ, you guys. What a nightmare. I don't want to talk too much about Coachella. I want to talk more about, like, the implications of Coachella. You realize the lineup of the Coachella festival this year reveals something that is such a relief to see, which is that nobody knows what the youth wants, especially them. We can all stop trying, right? They complain about global warming, and then they flee to camp in the desert in latex in 100 degree weather. Right? I don't know. I don't think that's necessarily ironic. Maybe on some level they're subconsciously preparing themselves for the hot temperature they believe are coming. This is. They're coping. They're putting themselves in situations where they will have to cope and take the necessary steps to prepare for the future. They ran out of gas waiting in line to park. They ran out of gas in a desert. They're literally doing what soldiers did in Iraq. These kids are preparing for war. Doesn't mean they're stupid. They're smart. It's lord of the Flies out there. They're the only ones that are ready. They're just camping out in their cars. They're not even in tents. They're on the. In the mud. I mean, to be fair, there are no camping tents left in California because the homeless people bought them all. REI is a ghost town. You know I'm right. They're just out of tents. It's so crazy at Coachella. It's like this. Can you imagine risking your life coming over from Mexico? And then they see what's going on at Coachella and they're like, I'm good. Honestly. This is how, if you want to stop immigration, just post these photos. I'm just saying, like it. They will u turn so fast, and it's all 600. You have to pay $600 to. To live this way for a couple weeks. It's $300 for parking, $600 for a ticket. You guys know you can just, like, take an edible and Go to Disneyland, right? A thousand dollars to go totally, literally costs an arm and a leg. But most of these kids, parents harvest organs, so they probably have those things in the back of their BMWs. But, you know, we've had this, right? Woodstock. Woodstock. I mean, I love that. I'm like, remember the Challenger and Woodstock? I don't remember any of these. I love that I've just decided that I'm 500 years old. Okay. It's Coachella's basically become Woodstock, but everyone's like, not on lsd. They're on some dick pill advert. It's not Marshall sports. Like, it's not as, like, fun. But Green Day fans want a dookie, and they got it. The poop smell was so bad. It's apparently the only way to escape the poop smell was to just clog your nose with, like, how else could you. I'm not a huge Green Day aficionado. I do know American Idiot is specifically about the people that pay $1,000 to see a concert. Like, it does feel. It's not just rich people. I know I made jokes about it, but 60% of kids that went to Coachella this year, they financed their ticket, which is like a financing plan or something, right? That tells you everything you need to know. Okay. And I'm all for people like, isn't this stupid? No, this genius. What is a better investment in your future at this point than going to Coachella? Oh, you're gonna go spend money on college? You have to get in the mind of someone that does that. That means that this next generation believes that wearing a Suede bikini in 100 degree weather and streaming it on Twitch is the only career left. And I believe they're right. Asking someone with followers to tag you at Coachella at this point is way more valuable than a medical degree. They're right. We're wrong. Okay? AI already reads cancer better than doctors do. Name a better investment than Coachella. Okay, first of all, Coachella is not a festival. It's a shoot. People are like, it's a festival. No, it's not. They're working. They're going to Coachella. They're starring in Coachella. Coachella is just the background for their show. They're filming it for their channel. The next generation doesn't go to festivals. They work festivals. This is an obligation for them. It's like a. It's like how HR meetings are required, right? So also, the more that goes wrong, the better for them. This next generation, we're like, here's how to have better judgment and trust your gut and avoid mistakes. Mistakes are the best thing that I could happen to you. If you're live streaming at all times. Right. Is actually better content. I think people are maybe figuring this out. I don't know. Because that means that you can be a victim and be pitied. And that's the only thing that makes anyone at Coachella relatable. Anyone on Ozempic who looks like a hot zyborg. This is the only way we're going to like you. Like, like the hot girls, you know, go and get stuck in the. The feces quicksand of p S. And everyone's like, she's so down to earth. Oh, look, she got parasites from a porta potty. She's so real. She's just like us. She also loses her drugs and someone else's poop. Like, this is good. We don't have to be like, look at those idiots going to Coachella. No, they're geniuses. They know to get as close to other people's poop as possible, they have to go to Coachella. The president was like, we're gonna bring factory work back to America. All the girls in their 20s were like, I'm gonna go put my Daisy dukes in the dryer for five hours. I am. We are not. I will make money the old fashioned way and stream myself sitting on cakes for strangers. No. The only job left is a personality. They're doing the right thing. Their personality is their product. Go to Coachella, don't go to college. Right? Like, honestly, Coachella, it's. We were like, the kids need more grit. Here it is. They're signing up for adversity. It's self inflicted adversity. I'm just saying. I'm glad gentle parenting's over. They don't want it. They didn't like it. Love is not. They're not interested. Can't love someone that doesn't love themselves. They want it. They pay to suffer. I think this is good. Okay. Coachella feels, I don't know, like, good prep for when the nukes come. They'll be ready. I won't be. They're learning about eye infections and STDs and folliculitis. They're learning about audio systems and tech and that. That, you know, audio buttons don't work if you're a black woman. Doja. Cat's microphone didn't work. I mirate. Also, Megan the stallion set was cut short for post Malone. What are you guys doing? Are you guys just start trying to start A race war. Like, is this a good idea? They cut her set short post Malone. I don't know. I just. I just. If that happens, we get. I feel like we just need to have, like, separate stages for. Never mind. Did you see that? There was a streamer. Waterboarding himself. He set it up, he got the water and put it in a thing, and the whole thing. Have you seen this video? I mean, for this guy, it's. I feel like the closest thing he'll ever get to a shower. But, like, between this and Coachella, it's. I do believe this next generation's new goal is just like, Prisoner of War. And I'm for it. They're ready. We don't have to worry about them, right? I can finally hire people in their 20s again. Squarespace. This podcast is sponsored. Where has Squarespace been, by the way? Why did they just. They just came crawling back. I haven't seen Squarespace on here in a while.

[Pat]

I think they had to beg.

[Whitney Cummings]

Huh? Really? Squarespace? I'm sorry. They're coming up on my teleprompter.

[Pat]

You had a new website, and they were like, what the.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, really? Okay. So as soon as you saw that I had a new website, you came sniffing around? Okay, I just. I'm like, not kidding. What? I get a glow up, start looking better because I stopped getting Botox, and you're just gonna, like, be like, you up? I feel like Squarespace is like, hey, you up, Squarespace? I haven't seen you for truly two years, and you're just going to walk back into my life like nothing happened? Onto my teleprompter. No explanation of why you stopped sponsoring the podcast before this. If you cut this, Pat, I will call the police and Child protective Services because everyone in this home will be in danger if you cut all this. So here's the deal. Squarespace, I use and I love. They used to sponsor the podcast. They went away. Oh, what was it Squarespace. Because during the pandemic, I dyed my hair blue and had a manic episode? You wanted to distance yourself from me, huh? Well, as Julia Roberts said to those rich women in Beverly Hills in the movie Pretty Woman, Big mistake. Huge. I mean, it's the opposite, because it's. I'm glad to have you back and thank you. And every time I hear Squarespace on other people's podcasts, I'm like, mm, weird. You guys know what it is? Whether you're launching a passion project, selling products or just trying to prove your family. Okay, sorry. They have jokes in the Copy now. Okay. Big mistake. Huge. Okay. You know what's great? It's a tool. Yeah. Squarespace has every tool you need to create a digital empire. I used it to build a site recently. Okay, you know what? Squarespace. Maybe I know why we've parted ways after all. So I don't build my own websites. But we definitely use Squarespace over here. Okay. It's the only. It's actually the only technology I don't complain about. Okay. It's like Dropbox and Google Maps and all that. Squarespace is the one thing that I understand. They have an AI powered builder, drag and drop editor and gorgeous templates make it very easy to make a site. It looks like you hired a team of tech bros and hoodies, which I. I do anyway. Just. They're my emotional support humans. So here's the deal. If you're offering services like coaching, consulting or selling content, you can take payments, schedule clients and even send email campaigns all from one place. No more juggling tags and apps like a digital octopus. If you've been sitting on an idea, now's the time. Claim your domain, build the site and make it real. Start your free trial, then use the code Whitney at checkout to get 10% off your first purchase of a website domain. You know what's blooming this spring? Sneezes. Itchy eyes. An annual pollen apocalypse. Pollen. A couple that annual polinacopal. The annual pollen copple. That annual pollen apocalypse is here. And Zocdoc is here to help you survive it. Do they have appointments for dyslexia problems? Sockdoc is a free app and website where you can find in network doctors from allergists and primary care and instantly book appointments. No more hold music, no more surprise out of network bills and no more do you have availability next June. Whether you need a local allergist, pediatrician or a telehealth quick fix. Zoc Doc has you covered with over 100,000 doctors across every speciality with real patient reviews, searchable interest and bookable in 30 seconds. I use ZocDoc when I need a same day appointment. By the way, everyone in this house uses Octoc constantly because we're always getting splinters and pink eye and green foot and all the things. And there's a bee and the. The. The. The. The bee ends up being a yellow jacket and the. The bite ends up being from a snake. And the bobcat is. God, who knows what's going on with that bobcat. My. That's another story for another time. But the point Is we go to the doctor a lot around here and you should too. Stop putting off your checkups. Allergy relief or mental health support. Visit Doc Talk. Visit Doc. Visit Zocdoc.com Whitney to book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com Whitney. You'll be breathing easy before you know it. I feel like the lineup at Coachella was just like the Cheesecake factory menu, which is like, it had everything but nothing you actually want to see. Except Gaga. So Lady Gaga did this thing that was amazing. She battled herself like she. She battled the previous Lady Gaga. Did you see this? Oh, dude, it's so sick. Okay, so she confronted herself from 10 years ago at Coachella and it was pretty thought provoking. And I was thinking about it and I was like, what? What would happen if I battled myself from 10 years? Like, who would win if I fought myself from 10 years ago? And when I tell you if I fought myself from 10 years ago, I would have rabies. I mean, I was like looking through photos of like, oh, what would the costume be if I fought myself? I was like, maybe I should make a TikTok video of me fighting myself. And I was like, when I tell you there is no way I would confront this pre Prozac feral animals surviving on sunkissed and fat free frozen yogurt alone. Are you mental? Back then I did my own makeup in my first special. I thought I nailed it, but it was probably the funniest part of the special. Let's be honest. Like, I would not even be able to look 10 year ago me in the eye. I was like, I come in. Not that she could make eye contact at all. She was like, you just like couldn't. But I would just be like, I come in peace. Please don't. Like, please, please don't come too close or I'll get a migraine from all that. Victoria's Secret love spell. Body mist. Jesus, bitch. Like, I was such a maniac back then. I would wear beaded headbands. I had two. I went to free people. I had two different colors I would wear. I wore one to the Middle east. And like was like, I. I'm one of you. Like, I was nuts. Dude. I had a headshot for Hollywood. That's me in a grocery cart. Like, like I did not know at all what was like a normal person. I can't. This person scares me. Like, I. It's not like, oh, I'm gonna fight with my former ego. This is a dangerous person. All right, I'm not gonna try to defeat a girl who sold her friend's shirt at Buffalo Exchange to get cash for the HPV vaccine. Like, I would just be like, uncle Kay. That girl was between rounds of Accutane and relationships with DJs. There was no telling what she would do. I couldn't. This was before she had discovered translucent powder for the face. I'm worried she would blind me with her shiny ass face. How did I just walk around with that shiny of a face? Okay, I literally moved to Hollywood, a city that only wanted blondes. They made it very clear. Immediately went to cvs, dyed my hair black like a psychopath. You cannot fight this girl. She's too busy fighting to get a belt over a full on outdoor cargo jacket. Like, I. There was no reasoning with this person. You know, like, how do you even start to fight a girl who wears a shirt that says I love square dancing? Most of the time you can't battle with a person who thinks shiny cobalt blue is her power color. Like, you can't do. You can't mess with a girl who bought this dress and wore it on a roast and returned it the next day without a receipt. This is not a person you can reason with. Okay? This girl was in full butt underwear. Don't try and fight a woman with full butt underwear. She has nothing holding her back. It's not. It's not gonna happen. So, yeah, I don't think I would be doing that exercise, but I thought it would be fun. I don't know. So that was kind of like thought provoking. Like when a performance actually makes you, like, think like that. Like, Gaga nailed it. I was like, oh, this is what, like, art is supposed to do. She was battling herself and I was like, oh, how would I battle my, you know, self 10 years ago? And it got dark, but, like, it was kind of cool. I feel like I'm never annoyed at the same thing everyone else is annoyed at. I'm. I'm currently annoyed at the fact that my Instagram feed is all people posting photos of them as action figures that they got on ChatGPT. You know, you can make them. You can get them made too. You can make an action figure of yourself. Is this good? I mean, look, I don't. I don't need one for me. I already have fake boobs and my joints are stiff. It's hard to move. I'm basically an action figure at this point. I just mean, is the selfie not enough? We need a mini version of ourselves. I like, does no one think this is going the wrong direction. Like, if we're in a simulation, I do feel like the joke is on the simulator at this point. Like, imagine being like, I control the simulation and this whole universe. And I feel like the simulator's like they started making mini versions of themselves. They're made for what? I don't even know. The simulation is officially over when the simulated humans are making real dolls out of themselves. Like this. This makes me think, look, we talk a lot about, like, banning books and maybe we should just ban, like, superhero movies for a while. I feel like they give you guys, like, your self esteem is too high or something. Like, maybe it's too, like, guys, look at their shelf and they're like, there's that. My original Iron man figurine. I got it in on Japan for the ebay. I got that one. That's the Batman figurine. And they're like, you know who else know it's missing? This guy Reddit man. Like, what are you? What's your superhero? It comes with a keyboard like polo sport, a box of unopened magnums. Like, I just, I feel like this is symbolic of how invisible and unspecial we all feel right now, right? Like, we used to have, like, things remembered at the mall. We'd engrave a frame, a little paperweight. Now you need like a doll of yourself. Like, I feel like people don't feel real anymore, so they have to make a version of themselves that. That's fake to feel real. You know, you look at a. A fake action figure of yourself. Like, I'm. That's. I'm. That's me. That's not. This is you. What? What? Like, I can at least be made in America. If we're going to make action figures of ourselves, can we please not like chatgpt is just mocking us at this point? They're like, you're a product. You are literally a product, which we just all learned from going to Coachella. You are a product, and we are trolling you so hard and hate you so much that we're going to make you buy yourself. Like, after the tariffs, China is now gonna make you in China. We're gonna make sure that if you want to own yourself, we'll make you in China. Like, I feel like the kids working on the assembly line in China are gonna be like, oh, what's this new one? It's Batman 2, is advanced. No one else has seen this one yet. What's this one? Is this like the new Spider Man? They're like, no, it's this guy named Brandon, lives in Tampa, works in exotic reptile store. And him and his friends grade women as they walk by. You know, he's having you make this for him. Notice we're only making one. They're like, so why are we doing this? Like, oh, oh, we're sending it to him so he can post it online, you know, because he thinks it's gonna make him feel cool, but it's actually gonna make everyone who follows him, mute him, lose respect for him, further entrenching him into the labyrinth of self delusion and shame. So you can make a tiny you and buy it. The end. Like it's the end. And that's okay. The end was going to come at some point. Like, look, people need to be prepared that, that you will know someone and your family, your friends that will get cancer from the microplastics leaching from the action figure they made of themselves. And you have to be ready to hear that from a doctor's face. Okay, I do think this is how we go extinct. Like within two months, thousands of people will be perishing after choking on an action figure of themselves. Like, like they were like making out with it and couldn't stop. I don't know what they were doing. They just ate it for a TikTok challenge. This is where this goes, right? As someone who actually made a to scale size doll for myself, I feel like I can speak on this with authority. Here's the thing about having a doll of yourself, all right, as, as someone who lives with this nightmare every day. So you will have a doll of yourself. It will be in your home. People will think it's like funny and cute and they'll be, they'll walk by and go, whoa, I thought it was you. It's so crazy. They'll take pictures with it. Oh my God, it looks like you. And then one day someone will walk by and go, oh, what's that? Who's that? Who is that? Who was that? Who? What's this based on? And you'll realize your doll is just a younger, more taught, more bright eyed version of your current self mocking you. You realize there's no way to dispose of her because someone was actually already arrested for putting a real doll into a dumpster. Cause it does look like a dead body. So having this in my home is a nightmare. I mean, I'm glad to know what I will look like in 20 minutes, you know, and then you have to explain to people and go, oh, that was, that's me. And they're like, but she doesn't have crow's feet around her eyes. And I'm like, yeah, she didn't have to podcast four and a half hours a day during the pandemic on edibles. Imagine. Imagine. This is not going well. This is weird. This is weird. Remember when you're like, whitney's weird. I know you guys can't do it now. It's weird. I agree with you. Did I normalize making dolls of yourself? I'm. I'm sorry. I was wrong. This was an experiment and it took a toll on my psyche. Don't do it. All right? I can't. No, I can't. I will lose custody of my son. A judge will look at this and be like, oh, yeah, she can't be around a child. Someone called Britney Spears. Dad put her in a basement. Calabasas. Like, this is. It's just. I don't like where this is going, you know? Remember when, like, guys taking selfies was like, weird? Still weird, but like, remember when you're like, oh, but now we're just like, oh, that's him, you know? Remember in like the. Again, I wasn't there. But in the 1900s, men took photos. The way they respond, they were just like. Remember people looking photos just like, are we going to die? This is not good. This is going to lead to bad things. It seems fun, it seems harmless. But imagine being like a 35 year old woman and your man is like, I can't afford engagement right now. Things are tough. There's a recession. And he says this to you behind a shelf that has an action figure of him on it. Paid for the shipping, paid for the handling. What do you do? There's a show called Snapped on Oxygen. They'll have to bring that show back. It's when women snapped in their partners. And if she told this, she'd get off, she'd go free. Okay, imagine you grab your guy's phone. You know, he's been acting weird lately. He's been texting a lot. Weird times two in the morning, taking his phone to the bathroom. You'll think it's a girl. He'll go into the shower and you'll be like, I gotta see what he's been texting. And you'll be like, oh, God, are they nudes from some trollop? No, worse. You're gonna see emails from a company confirming his order for an action figure of himself. He's chosen to make the doll way more muscular than he even is. He made a tanner. Do you call the police? Do you report to the FBI? These laws have not been established yet, but I hope communities are working together right now to make sure that these protective orders are in place. You know, because you know women, we don't do this. Women don't make action figures of themselves. I don't. I haven't seen any women that really want to make action figures of themselves. I don't. Because we. Because you have to have like the things you'd have with you. And we haven't settled on personalities yet. You know, I can't commit to what my things are going to be. Here's the good news. You're not going to see on my social media feed me with an action figure of myself. I don't need new ways to hurt my own feelings by. You know why? Because I would get it and the hairline would. Would mess me up. You know, I would just be like, meh, that's not good. And everyone be like, that looks exactly like you. And I'd be like, what? You know what? This is? Okay, I do believe this is also that people needing action figures of themselves. I think that this is kind of an extension of the like certificates of participation epidemic, right? Like we gotta bring back trophy one, two and three. You win. Second, third. Not everyone gets to be a superhero. Not everyone gets to be an action figure. You know, or maybe they should. You know what? I was wrong. Now that you're a product, you need one. I was wrong. Get one. All of you. This is it. You have to have it. You have to have an action figure of yourself because everyone is a product. We just, we've learned this. It's the only job left is you being a product. So everyone's going to have to have a. What's the things the dolls with the big heads. If that Funko Pop. At the very least you need your own Funko Pop because otherwise you're just like. You'd be like a store without a sign that we. This is actually like having a website. Having a doll of yourself is like having a website. At this point I actually believe you're behind if you know not how soon people will be going on Shark Tank and pitching just me the product. Just me. Hey, Mr. Cuban, I'd like you to invest 500,000 just to me. You should be so lucky. I'm going to get more selfie sticks. I'm going to get the app that helps you read prompter on your phone. I'm going to get a ring light. I'm going to get a girlfriend and she's going to test well. We're going to have good chemistry. I'm going to go to Fyre festival and get hiv. I'm going to start rapping. I will livestream my own death. Are you in? I love you guys. We've already been going too long. Don't ride elephants, Sa.