The Interrogation | Good For You Episode #344

Summary

Good For You with Whitney Cummings

Episode #344: The Interrogation
Date: May 27, 2026
Host: Whitney Cummings
Guest: Kevin Christie

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Episode Overview

This episode is a freewheeling, hilarious, and introspective conversation between Whitney Cummings and her longtime friend and collaborator Kevin Christie. Together, they embark on a “vibe check” interrogation, digging beneath social media algorithms, personal insecurities, generational quirks, and existential anxieties—mostly through the lens of comedy, personal history, and pop culture. The discussion is punctuated by delightful riffs, honest confessions, and frequent call-backs to their years in standup and Hollywood.

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Key Themes & Discussion Points

The Algorithm of the Mind & Real Thoughts

[01:24] Whitney wants to know: “What currently lives in your brain that isn't being fed to you by your phone?”

• Both debate how much of their thoughts are genuinely their own versus algorithmic regurgitations.
• Kevin likens the process to "checking out someone's basement," suggesting we've become so curated, even our inner lives are infected by tech.
• Notable Insight: The duo notes how social media has replaced even idle, random thought with algorithmic suggestion, leading to a new challenge: uncovering your own true obsessions, free from digital influence.

Breathing, Hiding, and Old Survival Habits

[02:00] Kevin reveals he learned to breathe "to be quiet" as a child, a survival mechanism that’s shaped his adult anxiety.

• Whitney jokes about his shallow breaths and deep-rooted "quiet breathing."
• Quote: “You breathe like, as a kid, you learned to…hide.” — Kevin Christie [02:38]
• They touch on therapy, learning to breathe, trauma, and how physiological patterns betray emotional history.

Obsessions & The “Nobody’s Mad At You” Philosophy

[04:27] Kevin: "I spend so much time being like, is that person mad at me?"

• Whitney rehashes Neil Brennan's mantra: “Nobody’s mad at you anymore.”
• Discuss the futility and paranoia of worrying about others’ opinions, especially when most people are focused on themselves.
• Quote: “If you’re mad at me, text me. If you don’t have my number, we don’t know each other well enough for you to be mad at me.” — Whitney quoting Tom Holland [05:05]

Unexamined Grudges, Outdated Takes, & Ego Death

[06:19] Whitney admits hating random celebrities for years with no update; Kevin reflects on holding onto old assumptions about people.

• They joke about “updating your software” with new information but how rarely people do this for others or themselves.
• Insight: The panel discusses how personality and taste are often formed at critical, sometimes immature, moments and rarely revisited.

Fashion, Generational Norms, & Casualization

[07:59 | 13:45]

• Deep dive into skinny jeans, bell bottoms, and the aesthetics of leg wear—from calf accentuation to sock-shoe ratios.
• Whitney: “Society started to crumble when sweatpants became clothes.” [14:40]
• Both pine for an era where a zipper signaled put-together-ness and lament the aggressive casualization of contemporary culture.
• Quote: “There’s something to be said for voluntary discomfort. I’m not saying do an ice bath… Don’t do it.” — Kevin [24:36]
• A comedic takedown of the obsession with ice baths and performative health.

Gardening, Hobbies, and Existential Consolation

[26:46]

• Kevin discusses gardening as a “final boss” hobby—one that’s self-sustaining and not monetizable (ideally).
• Whitney and Kevin riff on the emotional comfort of nurturing plants, which "can't get in a car and leave you.” [27:50]
• Jokes about pairing gardening with doll burial and the satisfaction of hands-on, analog achievement in a digital world.

Small Town Joys vs. Tech Hype

[28:41]

• Kevin offers a heartfelt paean to small town parades and stoner floats as an antidote to relentless tech hype and AI fads.
• Quote: “There is nothing sicker than a bunch of drunks building a buggy.” — Kevin [28:42]
• Nostalgic memories from standup road gigs and “the greatest stoner parade” in Blue Lake, CA.

Plant Communication & Non-Digital Learning

[30:01]

• Whitney: “Do you think plants can talk to you?”
• Kevin shares a childhood story about observing horses and learns about grass’s chemical communication: “Grass, when it’s being eaten, starts communicating with grass that’s downwind… it changes flavor.” [30:51]
• They discuss social media’s ability to connect the curious, whether for plants or for darker pursuits.

Fashion as Costume, Workwear, and Role Play

[45:05 | 45:26]

• Both laugh at the irony of creative types donning “workwear” as a costume, despite never touching a drill or paint roller.
• Whitney’s peeve: designer paint-splattered overalls mimicking blue-collar authenticity.
• Both reminisce about wearing hoodies or glasses as signals of belonging, while lamenting when these items become mere trends.

Messiness, Cars, and Selective Priorities

[47:41 | 48:47]

• Stories about disgusting cars, using trash as theft deterrent, and the varied reasons people tolerate or ignore their own mess.
• Jokes about jeans hygiene (or lack thereof), frozen denim, and gendered standards for laundering pants.

Sitcom Deep Dive: Generational TV & Cultural Impact

[51:38]

• A long, nostalgic digression about 80s and 90s sitcoms—Martin, Cosby Show, Living Single, Golden Girls, Three's Company, Full House, and more.
• Lively debate about sitcom archetypes—“Are you a Janet or a Chrissy?”—and what those choices mean about self-worth and gender roles.
• Observations on the role of TV in forming early identity, measuring success, and teaching social rules.

Hollywood Realness: The Grueling Life of TV Creators

[59:45]

• Kevin and Whitney recount the soul-crushing logistics and exhaustion behind “having your own show.”
• Whitney: "That's when I realized I didn't want my own television show…" [59:51]
• Darkly funny stories about visual effects artists airbrushing their eye bags and scars for broadcast.

Art, AI, and Refusing to Accelerate Your Own Obsolescence

[71:07]

• Kevin suggests animating Whitney’s paintings with AI; she flatly refuses, joking, “I’m not gonna put batteries in the thing that’s gonna eliminate me.”
• Amusing meta-reflection on the anxiety and opportunities of creative tech.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It's the opposite of 'let me see your Google searches'—now it's, ‘what are your actual thoughts that aren't basically decided by your algorithm?’” – Whitney [01:36]
• “Part of the reason I have a little bit of mania is that I'm in a constant state of adrenaline…this would require deactivating my amygdala.” – Kevin [03:36]
• “I could have slid through without the rat feces virus. Yeah. Like, now I have it.” – Kevin [01:18]
• “Societal standards are basically a level of uncomfortability we've all agreed upon.” – Whitney [24:32]
• “Collecting doll adjacent… I have to garden, so I can make little graves for my dolls.” – Kevin [27:12]
• “When sweatpants became clothes… society in our country started to crumble.” – Whitney [14:40]
• “I wonder if I'll watch the Cosby Show with no guilt before I'll watch Full House knowing Dave Coulier gets a dollar.” – Kevin [57:00]

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Highlighted Segments & Timestamps

• Algorithmic vs. Genuine Thought – [01:24-04:10]
• Breathing and Childhood Adaptations – [02:20-03:36]
• Old Grudges & Outdated Software – [06:19-07:10]
• Skinny Jeans, Bell Bottoms & Jeans Discourse – [07:59-09:48], [41:25-44:39]
• Aggressive Societal Casualization & Nostalgia for Structure – [13:45-14:45], [24:32-25:18]
• Ice Baths & Male Podcaster Stereotypes – [24:48-25:29]
• Gardening as Existential Therapy – [26:51-27:55]
• Small Town Parades vs. Tech Trends – [28:41-29:00]
• Satirical Fashion/Workwear Critique – [45:05-46:14]
• Sitcoms, Identity, and Generational Media – [51:38-56:33]
• The Grind of TV Production – [59:45-61:45]
• Art vs. AI / Tech Anxiety – [71:07-71:38]

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Tone & Style

• Casual, whip-smart, slightly neurotic, self-deprecating, and rapid-fire riffing.
• Equal parts therapy, nostalgia, and satirical roast, with both hosts playing off each other’s insecurities and obsessions.
• Deeply personal but consistently funny, with meta-awareness about their place as comedians and television insiders.

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Recurring Motifs

• “Offline” authenticity vs. online performativity.
• Generational differences in ambition, style, and insecurity.
• The universal need for connection amid performative individualism.
• Heavy dose of self-satire, especially regarding industry and creative work.

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For First-Time Listeners

If you crave a podcast that perfectly blends personal confession, sharp cultural critique, and inside-comedy banter—with no fear of admitting neuroses or mistakes—this episode delivers. Whitney and Kevin make you feel like you’re part of a private hang between two seasoned comics who are also doing the hard work of self-interrogation (and making it all sound, somehow, hilarious).

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Suggested Episode Titles

• “Vibe Check: Are We Okay?”
• “Offline Thoughts, Online Lives”
• “Jeans in the Freezer & Other Red Flags”
• “Small Town Parades > AI”

Transcript

[Whitney Cummings]

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[Kevin Christie]

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[Whitney Cummings]

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[Kevin Christie]

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[Whitney Cummings]

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[Kevin Christie]

Learn [e-mail] studentoffer while supplies last ends June 30th terms at aka mscollegepc. Okay, so on today's episode of the podcast, my. Honestly, I don't even know what to call you. My mortal enemy.

[Whitney Cummings]

Sure.

[Kevin Christie]

Kevin is on the show today.

[Whitney Cummings]

Sure. Kevin Christie, you will view this as a mistake after.

[Kevin Christie]

No, it's. Oh, trust me, I'm already bummed. So I.

[Whitney Cummings]

Good name for the podcast. Already bummed.

[Kevin Christie]

Super bummed. I feel like we all feel pressure to talk about what's happening, but anything that's actually happening, you might not even see in your algorithm for months, weeks. You might just miss it.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. You may fully not see the new virus, and it's gone. You could have totally missed it.

[Kevin Christie]

No, I think I'm addressing something everyone's talking about, and people are like, why did you tell me that?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, like, I could have. I could have got through this weekend without Ebola coming back.

[Kevin Christie]

I could have slid through without the rat feces virus. Yeah. Like, now I have it.

[Whitney Cummings]

I've decided I was interested in figuring out or hearing what currently lives in your brain that isn't being fed to you by your phone.

[Kevin Christie]

Ooh, that's like saying, like, can I check out your basement? Like, that is a crazy. That's like, can I just. It's the opposite of. It used to be like, let me see your Google searches. Like, my dream would be to go on your computer and look at your Google searches, but now I'm like, what. What are your actual thoughts that aren't on? Like, basically decided by your algorithm.

[Whitney Cummings]

So take a deep breath. Long. That was so criminal. If that's your deep breath, call the cops.

[Kevin Christie]

You know that I worked with a woman who helped me learn to breathe, and she put little weights on my chest, and I took. So I just take little, tiny. I never notice that I'm talking. I'm not inhaling or exhaling right now. Know that I don't breathe. Like, I don't.

[Whitney Cummings]

How. Have you ever tried to. How long can you hold your breath for a long time.

[Kevin Christie]

I don't know. Ask the couple people who tried to bury me alive as a child. No, I. I don't know, but when I talk, I don't inhale or exhale.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's I. Circular breathing.

[Kevin Christie]

Well, she's. I mean, do you want to get sad? I don't want to be sad. Real quick. No. She told me, she was like, you breathe. Like, as a kid, you learned to breathe, like to not to. To hide.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, yeah, yeah. To stay quiet.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, yeah. To be quiet. Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Quiet breathing.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. I spent my nights hiding.

[Whitney Cummings]

Try to take a deep breath. As a child, maybe, so we can just hear the whistle. Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

But I don't understand what was wrong with the one before.

[Whitney Cummings]

It wasn't deep. Oh, whoa.

[Kevin Christie]

That's three.

[Whitney Cummings]

At least three seconds.

[Kevin Christie]

That is. I'm dizzy. That's the most awkward.

[Whitney Cummings]

This is what, in my mind, this is what a deep breath.

[Kevin Christie]

This is, by the way. This is how Bill Cosby drugged his. It started this way. It started shaming. That's how much you drink. Only that much. You only drink those little sips. Let me see a big gulp.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's why Pat's here. Because when a man tells a woman, okay, I'm gonna help you relax. That is. That is like, should be a misdemeanor.

[Kevin Christie]

So are you here to tell me to calm down and relax? Hold on. If I do take a really deep breath, I will feel like I'm hot.

[Whitney Cummings]

You'll get lightheaded.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Well, I guess part of the reason I have, like, a little bit of mania is that I'm in a constant state of adrenaline. And this would require deactivating my. My amygdala and like, vagus nerve, so. Well, remember when I had costochondritis, I had that infection in my chest.

[Whitney Cummings]

Made up names for made up problems, by the way.

[Kevin Christie]

New money. Healthcare.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I had just gotten healthcare.

[Whitney Cummings]

Or you got flactonitis.

[Kevin Christie]

And they told me I had 55, like, infections in my. And it's like, oh, this is just kind of everyone's default state. Yeah, that's about as far as I go.

[Whitney Cummings]

How's it going?

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Okay. What's a thing you've been thinking about lately that just keeps little bit popping into your head that is just like a theme or a thing. You're a little bit fascinated by that. You're like, I'll think about that more later.

[Kevin Christie]

I spend so much time being like, is that person mad at me? Like Neil Brennan did? This was like, I don't know, like five years ago. He just did just a random video and saw a character for him. He just did a little song on his Instagram. He Goes, nobody's mad at you. Nobody's mad at you. Nobody gives a.

[Whitney Cummings]

When I. When I was just getting out of a relationship, he texted me, nobody's mad at you anymore.

[Kevin Christie]

Plenty of people think they're mad at me, I'm sure.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

But they're mad at some version of me that I don't even. That I wasn't even there for.

[Whitney Cummings]

Have you seen that Tom Holland quote? And he got it from someone else. I don't remember who he got it from, but he said, if you're mad at me, text me. And if you don't have my number, we don't know each other well enough for you to be mad at me.

[Kevin Christie]

Correct. And it's the same way that I'm, like, mad at hookahs.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, the shoe or the pipe?

[Kevin Christie]

The shoe. Oh, Hokas, I don't have enough. Okay. That's part of the reason I'm so mad at them. Every time I try to talk about.

[Whitney Cummings]

No one says hookahs. Then I get shamed for mispronouncing the name Hoka.

[Kevin Christie]

But it's. Is it two O's or one?

[Whitney Cummings]

One.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, okay. I stand corrected.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay. So, Hokas, I'm. I'm, like, mad at them because I'm not taking on a new shoe brand at the moment.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh.

[Kevin Christie]

So I have to just be mad at them.

[Whitney Cummings]

But they're so squishy.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, but also, there's no tread on the bottom of these, or at least the ones that I want. I'm. See, I'm judging hookahs based on the one pair I wore one time three years ago, and I just have not updated my software. So. So when someone's like. I'm like, oh, maybe this person's mad at me. I'm like, well, they don't have time to update their software on me. I don't even update my phone on the Apple software, which takes four minutes and would improve my life dramatically. Why does someone owe me updating their software on me again? But here's who I am now.

[Whitney Cummings]

I do this with celebrities where I decide I hate a celebrity five years ago. And then recently. I'm not gonna say the celebrity's name, but I was like, why do I hate that guy? He did. And Marcel was like, john show. Marcelo was like, yeah, I don't know why you hate that guy. You guys are super similar. I was like, maybe that's why I. I'm obsessed with.

[Kevin Christie]

Am I. Do I still believe that I'm obsessed with a couple, like, immature assumptions? I made 10 years ago. I might even have been right at the time or with the information I had, who cares? But just going like, hold on, why am I so. Why have I decided that that's my take on this thing forever?

[Whitney Cummings]

It's like you may be living in like death of your ego zone where you're just like, why did I, why did I set up this apparatus of reactions to life and I don't need that protection anymore.

[Kevin Christie]

I had such bad taste in men at that time and clothes.

[Whitney Cummings]

I was there.

[Kevin Christie]

What are the odds? I had good taste in tapes.

[Whitney Cummings]

Keeping bell bottoms alive by yourself. Do you guys make these in flares? We used to, but no one's asked in a while.

[Kevin Christie]

If you guys don't think that it is weird to accentuate your calves at all times, there's something wrong with your brain. Like, I believe no one should have to look at my, my shrink wrapped calves while I'm just traversing the world. I'm like, you'll see those. If you sign up for, you'll see those, those ankle knuckle veins when we're together.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's how, you know, sneaker culture died because skinny jeans went.

[Kevin Christie]

Also, you know why someone wears bell bottoms, right?

[Whitney Cummings]

They got big feet that. Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

But also if your socks never match, you got to hide this. Hiding the ankle area in general because you have to have the right low cut sock to go with a certain cool shoe with. But yeah, the skinny jean sock, skinny jeans sock, shoe ratio. The Neapolitan of the lower leg.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

An iota off.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And it's, it's like, it's like an impression. If it's not. If I can't close my eyes and I think the person's there. It's terrible.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's terrible. Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I thought the epitome of fancy was like bell bottom. Like I was like, because bell bottoms are luxury. It gets caught on. It's not a work pants. It's not a work working pants. Like, like I associate skinny jeans. Like you're riding a horse, you're doing chores and then it's like the skirt of the. It's like a skirt for your lower leg. It's glamorous.

[Whitney Cummings]

Skinny jeans also were because a kind of skinny dude Got cool in 2001.

[Kevin Christie]

I also like was such a blank slate of a person as a kid and this is something I've been getting obsessed with. Like what made an indelible imprint on you or programmed you that you're just starting to realize impacted you so deeply. There were certain movies or certain whatever. Like Dazed and Confused, like, left a mark in a way that I am still unpacking.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And Milla Jovovich in that movie.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, dude.

[Kevin Christie]

I was like, I want to be that with a little of the Parker Posey. I liked her. She was supposed to be the villain. And I was like, she's awesome.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, Parker Posey is amazing in that movie.

[Kevin Christie]

Fry like bacon, you little. Like, I was like, she's cool. I don't know, like, who's the villain in this movie? It was Ben Affleck.

[Whitney Cummings]

That act that wasn't. The accuracy of that high school movie is off the charts.

[Kevin Christie]

But I think that I decided like that I was going to try to offset my clearly very type A, impossible to hide, ambitious, obsessive personality by looking effortless. Like, I thought, like, oh, like she looks so effortless. Like, and so I was like, bell bottoms. Like I had like a shirt that had like a butterfly on it that I wore all the time. Being like, what? Who? I don't care if I make it. Like, if I make it, I make it like the universe is going to do what it's going to do. Like, I think I tried to like offset my personality by looking easygoing.

[Whitney Cummings]

You're probably the last age group where ambition was still really on.

[Kevin Christie]

Interesting.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like I think about growing. It was severely uncool growing up in the 80s to be like. To be essentially to be smart.

[Kevin Christie]

No, you were bullied. If you got an A at school, you weren't nerd.

[Whitney Cummings]

There was a girl in my elementary school named Sarah who was nice, pretty and very smart. But someone just decided she was stuck up cause she got really good grades and it was over for her.

[Kevin Christie]

I agree. But also I feel like there's just new words for it. It's not like you're a loser or you're a four eyes or now it's like you're cringe. Like I feel like sometimes it's like you're a cringe. You're a pick me.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

You're a pick me and a try hard. I'm like, yeah, no, I try really hard.

[Whitney Cummings]

I mean, you know this we've talked about. Me and Marcel are obsessed with try hards. So we love Anne Hathaway.

[Kevin Christie]

They canceled her cuz she tried too hard and she wanted it too bad.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, she held up James Franco's corpse for an entire Academy Awards.

[Kevin Christie]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Whitney Cummings]

I wrote. And everyone was like, she tried too hard. No, she made it watchable.

[Kevin Christie]

That is just a metaphor for every relationship, for every girl in that time of. The guy just got stoned and was like, gave up. And she was like. She started, like, pedaling faster. Just start, like, you know. But then she won an Oscar and she was so excited about it.

[Whitney Cummings]

God forbid.

[Kevin Christie]

What's worse than when someone gets an Oscar?

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, God forbid.

[Kevin Christie]

Anyway, I'm gonna, like, donate this. Cause we're borrowed land. And you're like, can you just enjoy prom, please?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Can you just let us live vicariously with you, please?

[Whitney Cummings]

You're allowed to enjoy your. Achieving your dream.

[Kevin Christie]

I had some kind of, like, survival instinct, some Darwinian instinct to go, like, make yourself, like, neuter yourself. Like, don't be feminine. Don't wear tight clothes. Don't. And it wasn't about guys. It was more. I don't want any of the women in the audience to think I'm trying to, like, flirt with their man.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's a very. I think that's just also a very standup thing. There's a really delicate balance between. I want to look like I care that I'm up here, but I also don't want to look like I think I'm a star, because we're not supposed to be star stars. We're the working class out slightly outside of real show business people.

[Kevin Christie]

But I was so debilitatingly insecure in my 20s. I mean, pit in my stomach if my guy's phone buzzed. I was so coming from cheating and all that kind of stuff, like, growing up around it and. And I was like, oh, imagine going to a comedy show and there's a girl on stage, and you think your guys, like, think she's into her. Yeah, you do know what I mean. I wouldn't make eye contact with the guys. I would just look at the girls and just be like, don't worry. I'm in love with someone that doesn't love me back. I mean, you don't want your man.

[Whitney Cummings]

You only wore a hoodie for 15 years.

[Kevin Christie]

It wouldn't. The hoodie had some kind.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, no. It was the 80s equivalent of the blazer with either a T shirt or a shirt with no bra.

[Kevin Christie]

Women should not. Women that walk to work at night should not be able to wear hoodies. It's a handle.

[Whitney Cummings]

We all wore hoodies.

[Kevin Christie]

I mean, it is a. I wore a ponytail with a hoodie.

[Whitney Cummings]

I was just like, 2001 to 2010. Every standup in Los Angeles wore nothing but a hoodie.

[Kevin Christie]

Ponytail and hoodie. That's like, if the person trying to kill you missed your ponytail, they could just grab you by the hoodie.

[Whitney Cummings]

You got to get from the west side Bruco to Bar One.

[Kevin Christie]

Just a sitting duck hoodie. That's right. Well, this thing started happening, which I'm very against. The, like, overpriced, expensive hoodie for men that just got divorced. They go to, like, John Barbados and they get, like, a cashmere hoodie. You don't get to get nice, nicer sweat clothes as you get older. You know what? How about this? This is something that I've been thinking about a lot. That is not something you would see on social media. And I have not been. Is this aggressive casualization of society. Like, I'm sort of. Since the. The more things feel like out of control and informal, the more I kind of crave symbolic formality of like, yeah, you're gonna wear a jacket.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And I'm gonna, you know, put my hair back. And I'm like, I'm kind of craving dress your age. And I know that sounds ageist.

[Whitney Cummings]

I firmly believe society in our country started to crumble when sweatpants became clothes.

[Kevin Christie]

Dude.

[Whitney Cummings]

Cause when I was in high school, if you saw a kid, a dude wearing sweatpants to school, you knew that kid's life was.

[Kevin Christie]

You're kind. There's something about it that's, like, also subconscious. Like, I can't rely on you because we. We also came from a time where you got shanked at school. Like, a. A stretchy waistband means, like, you could get.

[Whitney Cummings]

You were gonna get. No, no. If you wore sweatpants, you got pants,

[Kevin Christie]

you were on limits.

[Whitney Cummings]

They were like, oh, we're gonna pull that guy's pants down in front of everyone.

[Kevin Christie]

I get panicked about it. I want to see a zipper. I want to see. Because to me, I think the way that we scan now is like, if. If. If there's a fire. I'm trying to not curse. If shit hits the fan, who am I following? All right, you guys know that I'm obsessed with Alipop. I don't know how. How many times do I have to tell you? You're making me pedal this product which benefits you. What's going on? If they haven't jumped on the bandwagon by now, do we even want them? Is there a play for exclusivity of if you haven't figured it out by now, if you're not buying something that is both delicious and supporting your digestive health. You missed your window. You know, you don't. You're not. I don't feel like you're. You have skin in the game, you know, What I'm saying this is, it's nostalgia mixed with gorgeous cans. Something I think I would know a little bit about. It's got high fiber, low sugar. Okay. There's new summer flavors. Raspberry sherbet. Or is it sorbet? We're never gonna know. And I'm fine with that. BlackBerry vanilla. Vanilla BlackBerry vanilla. Raspberry sherbet. It's bright, it's fruity, it's refreshing, it tastes like summer. But if you haven't added this to carte yet, you're not cool or fun. 30 cows, 6 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar. BlackBerry vanilla. This is. It's back from the flavor archives. Cuz people were harassing this. This poor company gets emails and letters and people showing up. What other soda has going bring back that you think Pepsi has people showing up at their doorstep asking for Pepsi clear again? I think not. Ollie Pop free can. This is your last chance and if you can't figure this out, honestly, you shouldn't be able to vote. Any two cans of Olipop in the store, they are going to pay you back for one. Works on single cans of any flavor, any retailer, go to drinkolipop.com Whitney, ollipop. Nope. Drink olipop.com I shouldn't have. See, I'm not able to say it anymore because I've said it too many times. Okay, you can only pop a cherry Cola once. Drink Olipop.com WhitneyOlliop is available in the soda aisle and with chilled beverages at thousands, thousands of retailers. The retailers figured it out. The people who know what's good and not figured it out and you still haven't. Walmart and Target also, you think you make better decisions than them. You think you know better than Wally World. Get out of here. Do you know there is an online cannabis company that ships federally compliant hemp derived th. By the way, legal. Should this whole ad just be like, guys, it's legal, it's legal, we swear you don't have to buy your cannabis out of a van. Sick of sticking your hand in a dark spooky mailbox full of silver fish? Sick of buying cannabis from your friend in high school's mom? A lot of people do not realize that products like thc, gummies, edibles, pre rolls, flour and more, they're still legal to buy online. And mood makes everything super easy. You know what they do? They class it up. And I appreciate that. Okay, if you, if you want to ingest cannabis, you shouldn't have to, you know, have some Box covered in mushrooms on your desk. Like what. Why is, why is this box of deep space and why is there a little message inside saying the earth is flat? Like can I just, can we be adults about this? Everything ships discreetly straight to your door. Not. Not like duct tape. Duct tape, tape together, diaper with your product inside. They work with small pesticide free family run farms right here in the US and what I like is that Mood has products for different vibes and different moments. Options to help you sleep, help you focus, which you all need, by the way. You all need that one Help you feel happy and euphoric. Let's not, let's not get over our skis here. Even products for intimacy. One standout is their sleepy time advanced gummies and beyond gummies. They also have flower pre rolls, bakery treats and beverages. The whole point is that you are not just picking something randomly. You can actually shop based on how you want to feel. And everything is backed by a 100 day satisfaction guarantee. Head to mood.com use promo code Whitney at checkout to get 20% off your first order. That's 20% off your entire purchase. For the first time, [e-mail] the code Whitney and make sure that you use our specific promo code because that is how they track the show and that is how I decide my mood, frankly. All right, you guys know that I'm obsessed with Olipop. I don't know how, how many times do I have to tell you? You're making me pedal this product which benefits you. What's going on? If they haven't jumped on the bandwagon by now, do we even want them? Is there a play for exclusivity of. If you haven't figured it out by now, if you're not buying something that is both delicious and supporting your digestive health. You missed your window. You know, you don't. You're not. I don't feel like you're. You have skin in the game. You know what I'm saying? This is. It's nostalgia mixed with gorgeous cans. Something I think I would know a little bit about. It's got high fiber, low sugar. Okay. There's new summer flavors. Raspberry sherbet. Or is it sorbet? We're never gonna know. And I'm fine with that. BlackBerry. Vanilla. Vanilla BlackBerry. Vanilla Raspberry sherbet. It's bright, it's fruity, it's refreshing. It tastes like summer. But if you haven't added this to carte yet, you're not cool or fun. 30 cows, 6 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar. BlackBerry vanilla. This is, it's back from the flavor archives. Cuz people were harassing this. This poor company gets emails and letters and people showing up. What other soda has going bring back that you think Pepsi has people showing up at their doorstep asking for Pepsi clear again? I think not. Olipop free can. This is your last chance and if you can't figure this out, honestly you shouldn't be able to vote. Any two cans of Olipop in the store, they are going to pay you back for one. Works on single cans of any flavor. Any retailer go to drinkolipop.com Whitney, Olipop. Nope. Drink olipop.com I shouldn't have. See I'm not able to say it anymore because I've said it too many times. Okay, you can only pop a cherry Cola once. Drink Olipop.com WhitneyOlliop is available in the soda aisle and with chilled beverages at thousands, thousands of retailers. The retailers figured it out. The people who know what's good and not figured it out. And you still haven't. Walmart and Target also you think you make better decisions than them. You think you know better than Wally World? Get out of here. Do you know there is an online cannabis company that ships federally compliant hemp derived th. By the way, legal. Should, should this whole ad just be like guys, it's legal, it's legal. We swear you don't have to buy your cannabis out of a van. Sick of sticking your hand in a dark spooky mailbox full of silver fish? Sick of buying cannabis from your friend in high school's mom? A lot of people do not realize that products like thc, gummies, edibles, pre rolls, flour and more, they're still legal to buy online. And Mood makes everything super easy. You know what they do? They class it up. And I appreciate that. Okay, if you, if you want to ingest cannabis, you shouldn't have to, you know, have some box covered in mushrooms on your desk. Like what, why is, why is this box of deep space and why is there a little message inside saying the earth is flat? Like can I just, can we be adults about this? Everything ships discreetly straight to your door. Not, not like duct tape, duct tape taped together diaper with your product inside. They work with small pesticide free family run farms right here in the US and what I like is that Mood has products for different vibes and different moments options to help you sleep, help you focus, which you all need by the way. You all need that one. Help you feel happy and euphoric. Let's not. Let's not get over our skis here. Even products for intimacy. One standout is their Sleepy Time Advanced gummies and beyond gummies. They also have flower pre rolls, bakery treats and beverages. The whole point is that you're not just picking something randomly. You can actually shop based on how you want to feel. And everything is backed by a 100 day satisfaction guarantee. Head to mood.com. use promo code Whitney at checkout to get 20% off your first order. That's 20% off your entire purchase for the first time. [e-mail] the code Whitney. And make sure that you use our specific promo code because that is how they track the show and that is how I decide my mood, frankly. Like Starbucks. Who am I following? Who am I following? And I'm just like. My brain just goes like, liability, alpha. Liability Alpha. Like, am I gonna have to carry you when there's a problem? Why do you get to be this comfortable? I've had a wedgie for 22 years.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Societal standards are basically a level of uncomfortability we've all agreed upon.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. I just feel like there's something to be said for voluntary discomfort. I'm not saying do an ice bath. Don't do it. Don't ever do that. We're not doing that. Okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's bad for your genitals.

[Kevin Christie]

I grew up poor. I'm. You're not going to make me poor again. Dude. I ice bath my whole childhood. You're not putting me back in an ice bath. I'm so glad you had heated water growing up. And now you need to fight your inflammation.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm not doing this. This is so like male podcasters can like show off their abs and be like, it's medicine. Like just. You can do it. Not. Hold on. Just dead serious. Can you go into an ice bath without a camera on you? I don't know. Is that part of it?

[Whitney Cummings]

We haven't.

[Kevin Christie]

It has to be filmed.

[Whitney Cummings]

The numbers aren't back.

[Kevin Christie]

If a man does an ice bath in the forest alone.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Did it happen?

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, he used to die.

[Kevin Christie]

That was the canopy off camera. Yeah. So that's what got my day. I started listening to this podcast.

[Whitney Cummings]

Sorry. I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay. So now that Kevin just did that and you might not get the joke and it's fine. I'm not going to give context to it. It. But we are allowed to joke about the horrific deaths of our Parents, but reminds me of a story that I don't know if I ever told you, that Bob Saget. Bob Saget had a sister who had a horrendous scleroderma condition where your skin, it sort of just eats itself and starts to peel off. And he did benefits every year. And one time we were at a hotel in New York, and at the Bowery Hotel, they have, like, a lasagna in, like, a little pot. And they gave it to. And I ordered it, and right as I took a bite, he goes, hey, don't eat my sister. And I was a kind of joke

[Whitney Cummings]

like that where you just put your head down.

[Kevin Christie]

No, no, no, no. I had to go outside. I had to walk around. Like, I had to go for. I did, like, take a lap. I was. We were both laughing so hard. That laugh, that's just like your muscles are releasing old grief. You're like. I feel like that's like.

[Whitney Cummings]

Bob Saget was the first person to tell me I should do stand up comedy on the set of Raising Dad. Whoa. Yeah. Sitcom.

[Kevin Christie]

What is a dad?

[Whitney Cummings]

Duh. What.

[Kevin Christie]

What else? I'm the edge of my seat.

[Whitney Cummings]

I can tell you about a ghost one, but.

[Kevin Christie]

So, okay, I love this question because I do feel like I do have thoughts that are not curated by the Internet.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, you garden now. That's a whole thing.

[Kevin Christie]

I do garden hard.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Gardening is. Gardening is the final boss.

[Kevin Christie]

It really is the final boss. It really is. Honestly. Collecting doll adjacent. I know that because it's about. Because let me.

[Whitney Cummings]

The tools.

[Kevin Christie]

So remember when I had. Are there tools in doling?

[Whitney Cummings]

No, in gardening.

[Kevin Christie]

In g. Oh. I hope you know why they go together. I have to garden so that I can make little graves for my dolls. So I can bury my dolls.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. I have to. How's this seance going to get done?

[Kevin Christie]

I hope it's. Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

But it's. It really is. Like, I mean, I'll just be doing it, like, obsessively. And I'm like, well, this is gonna help with the butterflies, and this is gonna help with, you know, like, the ecosystem. And then that. This is. Now the bees are gonna do the hummingbirds. And I'm like. And then I'm also just like, this is something that's gonna stay alive. That I can make stay alive.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

That won't leave me. It can't go anywhere. It's rooted here.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, plants can't get in the car and leave. They can't get drunk and go away.

[Whitney Cummings]

Remember when we got stranded in Northern California? Do I ever wanted. That was wild. And we had to drive.

[Kevin Christie]

No place called Blue Lake, California that

[Whitney Cummings]

you can't fly out of.

[Kevin Christie]

Can't fly out of the fog. That's right. It also has the. Makes the most marijuana of any other place.

[Whitney Cummings]

God bless.

[Kevin Christie]

So the fog. Is the fog from weed smoke? Unclear. It's actually unclear.

[Whitney Cummings]

But remember that parade was incredible.

[Kevin Christie]

So sick. Was it? It wasn't a boxcar.

[Whitney Cummings]

No box cars. It was. It was people that made their own like pedal powered floats that they then designed. There was dragons. It was the greatest stoner parade. Grateful Dead, old hippie situation. We were all like, should we move here?

[Kevin Christie]

Dude? When people I know in major cities like, you gotta check out this new AI thing. I'm like, have you been to a small town parade recently?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. They crush.

[Kevin Christie]

There is nothing sicker than a bunch of drunks building a buggy.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. The bakery guy goes hard every year.

[Kevin Christie]

And that. This is. They spend the entire year making some kind of soapbox or some kind of prison parade.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's like a Halloween house.

[Kevin Christie]

Claude wouldn't even know. Chatgpt wouldn't even know it was so legit.

[Whitney Cummings]

But then we couldn't leave.

[Kevin Christie]

Correct.

[Whitney Cummings]

Because we just. We sat in an Airport for 10 hours.

[Kevin Christie]

I ate three bags of Snyder's hot mustard.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I remember that. You know the really hard ones.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And.

[Whitney Cummings]

And then we got a weird.

[Kevin Christie]

My mouth was bleeding.

[Whitney Cummings]

But then we drove. We drove, you, me and Candace drove like through the California forest.

[Kevin Christie]

The redwoods.

[Whitney Cummings]

And I remember just, you know, it was that area where there are trees that are like a thousand years old.

[Kevin Christie]

Right.

[Whitney Cummings]

And like they're like, don't touch the tree. But I secretly. I went and I just laid it. I hugged it.

[Kevin Christie]

Your tongue isn't the touch. It's like a touch. Is a finger a touch?

[Whitney Cummings]

I'm sorry. Like I'm not even that guy.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

But if I can. And it was. They're massive. But hugging a thousand year old tree is super cosmic. And I don't care. You can't. Like. It is. There is. There is something legitimately amazing and cosmic about.

[Kevin Christie]

And we eventually got all the splinters out. Okay. We took months.

[Whitney Cummings]

Let me ask you this. Do you think. Do you think plants are. Do you think plants can talk to you?

[Kevin Christie]

Of course.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I don't.

[Whitney Cummings]

This is the obvious answer.

[Kevin Christie]

As. As someone that talks way too much verbally. I'm the person who's like, verbal talking is actually.

[Whitney Cummings]

We know they can listen.

[Kevin Christie]

This is how you impede communication.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Most communication is nonverbal and. But growing up, like, when I went to Roanoke and lived on a farm, I was mostly out with the horses. And I remember I would just, like, sleep with them. I was, like, out with them. And I remember I'd watch them because when you're not a horse and you're a person and you see, like, you're like, that's the grass. Go eat that grass. And they'd move towards really lush yami grass. And. And then they would just move to another. They would just. All the lead mare would just move to a different one. And you're like, why not? I, like, never could understand because I understood learn most of their body language, but that I could never understand.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

So grass, when it's being eaten, it changes the way that it tastes. It starts becoming really bitter, and it starts communicating with grass that is downwind, basically. So that grass will start tasting different. So you'd watch them move, and you're like, oh, there's something going on with horses in this grass. And I didn't know what it was at the time.

[Whitney Cummings]

While they invented Roundup, grass was talking too much.

[Kevin Christie]

Just so you guys know, I'm in a fight with Kevin's algorithm, not him. We were hanging out yesterday, and I was like, oh, you don't, like, give feedback to your algorithm?

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, I didn't know that was a thing.

[Kevin Christie]

You can. Most men don't. And you.

[Whitney Cummings]

Another good name for the podcast.

[Kevin Christie]

You. Most men would never. Because it's like you're weak or something. If you, like, go like, no, thanks. I really don't want to see the beheading video.

[Whitney Cummings]

All our value is built on suffering.

[Kevin Christie]

So you can. Passive suffering. Like, you know, you can go to the doctor. Yeah. So you go. And it's like, whatever. The arrow. And you just press like, not interested or like, you know, you can keep doing that. And so when I'm around someone who's, like, really negative and, like, we're gonna die, and da, da, da. I'm always like, do you know about the not interested button? And then two weeks later, they're like, did you know that raccoons and coyotes hunt together? I'm like, you. You're getting it now.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, that's actually. Social media is the dopest, as long as you give it feedback. But there's a lot of. There's a lot of people that are on the. Talking to plants, like, tip that you can sort of find. It's like the Internet's like, school shooters can find people to help them make their plan. But then also people that talk to their plants can find other people who are like, oh, yeah, dude. I mean, I'm telling you know, that the. These Boston vines are so misunderstood.

[Whitney Cummings]

I mean, if they're going to keep. If my algorithm is going to keep telling me that, like, there's simulations and realities, blah, blah, blah, then I get to pick it, I guess. Yeah, 100% I'm going to live. I mean, you hear that? I saw a video yesterday of, like, a woman who just. She's lived off the grid in some island for 13 years. And you're like, I bet she's in an insanely good mood.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, she's like, what are you guys

[Kevin Christie]

talking about over there?

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm making yeast. And then the. This is coming. This crop's coming in. Like, you can kind of. If you can make a living within that reality, you can just live in that reality.

[Kevin Christie]

There's a couple. Like, this is the most, like, add, type A, like, workaholic thing I've said out loud. I'm in the market for a hobby that is. Ideally, I don't monetize, but if it happens, it happens.

[Whitney Cummings]

I mean, gardening's the one, because the

[Kevin Christie]

clothes are so sick.

[Whitney Cummings]

I don't know why clogs are a gardening thing, but apparently they are.

[Kevin Christie]

There's some things that we just accept as normal and assume it's essential in whatever hobby because we're not the experts. How would we know? But there's things that, even though I'm not an expert, I still know. You don't need to do that. Like scuba diving. Like, when they dive in backwards, I'm like, that's a prank. And it's. No one needs to do it that way. And, you know, no one needs to do it that way. You just think it's funny to make tourists be like. Like, there's. That's not a. You're not a serious person. If you're diving into, like, an abyss of translucent, like, chainsaws that are just, you know, sociopathic. They're trying to.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, there's also no safe way to be in any ocean.

[Kevin Christie]

The aliens are in there. Correct. But just to be like. Like, what are we. What are we? Like a Pratt fall into the ocean? Like, let's not.

[Whitney Cummings]

When we're watching Survivor, Marcel has a specific problem with people who, when they have to jump into the ocean to swim, who hold their nose.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, I do that.

[Whitney Cummings]

Really?

[Kevin Christie]

Always. Every time.

[Whitney Cummings]

Just exhale. Oh, you can exhale for any amount.

[Kevin Christie]

I Can't exhale or inhale. I've never, never been breathed before. This is me not on oxygen. The woman said to me, she was like, you're operating with about 20% of your life force.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, breathing's a hard.

[Kevin Christie]

I was like. And people still think I'm on drugs.

[Whitney Cummings]

Maybe your hobby should just be breathing.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, my God, it's so boring. Oh, God.

[Whitney Cummings]

It is very boring.

[Kevin Christie]

Did you driver tell you about when I had to relearn how to walk and I just couldn't do it because I'm hyper mobile? And I went and whatever. After I broke my shoulder and all this kind of stuff, snowboarding, trying to make a man love me, it worked and shattered my shoulder. I went and they're like, oh, yeah. You just need to relearn how to walk entirely using your muscles instead of your bones. Because right now it's all momentum. And so you're going to have something called a non collision injury, which means one day you're just going to sneeze and throw your back out. And I was like, why are you trying to take my best talk show story? But okay. And so I went to like a pilates, like, person who was like, making me like walk on a, like a stick and like a hula hoop. And I was like, I'm so. I will pay you for this hour. Yeah, but I. I've gotta leave.

[Whitney Cummings]

You're trying to get out of traffic school. Here's a thousand dollars to say I was here.

[Kevin Christie]

I just, I can't do this. And like, you're lovely. I'm not one of these people that needs to live forever. This whole thing where we all have to leave. I'm good, I'm good.

[Whitney Cummings]

All right. I want you to stop for a second and think about all the cars you've had in your life. Go all the way back.

[Kevin Christie]

Whoa.

[Whitney Cummings]

What car do you miss the most? Like, you're early.

[Kevin Christie]

Grand Jeep Cherokee, four door, white, like, fabric seats. You would have seen that car.

[Whitney Cummings]

Would I?

[Kevin Christie]

I feel like I. Yeah, yeah. Phoenix license plate. Don't know.

[Whitney Cummings]

Where'd you get it?

[Kevin Christie]

I can't answer that.

[Whitney Cummings]

Everyone has like a romanticized old car.

[Kevin Christie]

I just love. It was like my first, like, su. Well, yeah, it was my first, like, suv. And it was a time in LA when we were running around auditioning all the time. You had to like, have all your clothes in your car.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. And a sack of headshots.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Every. Exactly. And. And so it was just so I felt safe in it, I guess.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Do you think that's your favorite? Because I often think how my life would be different if I got in a Honda Element.

[Kevin Christie]

Really?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

When every car I've gotten was kind of procured by, like, a woman in my family's, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it was.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, it was all Marcella, Jeep Cherokee.

[Kevin Christie]

It was a lot of, like. And now we're taking it back now that we've. Now that we found it.

[Whitney Cummings]

The Jeep Cherokee is, like a. It's a real romanticized car. There's, like, people collect them, and there's, like, certain years that are really sought out.

[Kevin Christie]

You know the Jeep Wranglers, there's this thing where they all have little rubber ducks on them.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's cool.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, no, it's a whole thing. I.

[Whitney Cummings]

People wave at each other.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, no. Jeep people, dude. They collect little rubber duckies and put them on the hoods. I don't know why. Who decides shit like that? I love. Like, if there's a.

[Whitney Cummings]

You want to. If they put a gnome hat on that duck.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Can I tell you my money.

[Kevin Christie]

We are not spending enough time. We're talking about how divided we are as a nation. There's people that have Jeeps that get ducks just to be like, duck.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. We're desperate.

[Kevin Christie]

We are so connected. We get along so well. It's actually shocking the fact that every time we go outside, there's not a mini war, just at the dry cleaners. We get along in a way that's actually weird.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, no. People in general get along great. You know, Big Boy from Outkast is super into Pokemon Go. Right. Like, he would make his. Like, I guess he would make his tour stops, like Pokemon spots. So if you went to the. If you went to his show, you could get a Pikachu and stuff.

[Kevin Christie]

Remember when Shaq would go to a mall and just tell everyone where he was, and people would just, like, try to find him, and then he would

[Whitney Cummings]

become sheriff of the town.

[Kevin Christie]

No one cares about good news. So we don't. News to just be like, there was a sale at Abercrombie Crime and Fitch today, and no one died.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Everyone was. Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, the fact that someone walks by and we're like, I'm sorry. At the airport, for the most part, everyone's like, oh, you're running late.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

When we land a plane now that usually there's someone that has to make their connection, we're all like, we hope you make it.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, we're actually cool to each other.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

You know America's more divided than ever. I'm like, well, there was something called the Civil War. I feel like we were pretty divided back then.

[Whitney Cummings]

But, yeah, we got separate uniforms.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, we used to just. We just used to fight each other with muskets, like, in fields over, like, men. What are we even mad about? Oh, right.

[Whitney Cummings]

Battle of Shiloh. 20,000 men in eight minutes.

[Kevin Christie]

Then I went to college. I don't think I had. Yeah, I didn't really have a car when I was in Philly. Came to la. I rented a day, which is. I think it's. They make cassette players, and then for a while they made, like, a cart.

[Whitney Cummings]

I love companies that are in two minutes. Like, Suzuki made so great dirt bikes.

[Kevin Christie]

Yep.

[Whitney Cummings]

Cars. Stereo equipment. Tires.

[Kevin Christie]

Amazing.

[Whitney Cummings]

Tennis rackets.

[Kevin Christie]

Amazing.

[Whitney Cummings]

You're just like, yo, we have a factory. Let's party.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, this thing kind of looks like a tennis racket. Should we just.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yamaha stereos, tennis rackets.

[Kevin Christie]

Motorcycles.

[Whitney Cummings]

Motorcycles.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, motorcycles.

[Whitney Cummings]

They're just like, dude, we have a lot of rubber. What can we do?

[Kevin Christie]

Dude, I'm wearing pants that are Lee Collab with Crayola.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, I love, like, a random. Like, you know, there's just someone who's like, my wife got into tennis, and I get, you know, you thought this

[Whitney Cummings]

was your run club era. Turns out it was more of a thinking about run club era. The good news, Someone's marathon training is about to start. Sell your workout gear on depop. Just snap a few photos, and we'll take care of the rest. They get their race day fit, and you get a payout for trying. Someone on depop wants what you've got. Start selling now, depop. Where taste recognizes taste.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, there's some kind of Dunlop tires.

[Whitney Cummings]

Also tennis.

[Kevin Christie]

Clearly the tennis instructors.

[Whitney Cummings]

There must be a tent. There's a real pipeline between tires and tennis rackets. I wonder why. Because graphite. Do they put graphite and tires? Maybe it's the lining.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Like, it's also when they find out you can make something else easily. So it was someone like petroleum, they realized, like, that this jelly came off it, and they're like, oh, we make Vaseline now, too, for babies.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

We make petroleum and baby moisture.

[Whitney Cummings]

Have you ever asked yourself, because you're obviously familiar with baby shampoo doesn't burn the eyes. Once they discovered that, why didn't they just do that to all shampoo? No, leave it.

[Kevin Christie]

This is America. Because what? Clean? Because the amount of filth. I'm not a big germ guy either.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, you're not.

[Kevin Christie]

I am with a skateboarder who rolls around downtown in the street in jeans. He hasn't washed in years. And then I let him sit on my bed. Are there four blankets in between to where the sheets actually are? Yes, there are. But I. I spray his shoes with Lysol when he's not looking. Like, I don't make him take off his shoes. Like, I'm actually pretty cool with germs. But the level of filth that we. I mean, we have alive bugs in our eyelashes. Like, what is going on is so.

[Whitney Cummings]

The amount of dirt in my eyebrows is insane.

[Kevin Christie]

That's why it's like, natural stuff isn't going to cut it.

[Whitney Cummings]

And that was the one thing I liked about COVID is it got rid of all the natural soaps because we were so terrified. It was like, I'm cleaning this with.

[Kevin Christie]

I actually think that the natural. That Dr. Bronner's. That burns almost worse than any of them.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, don't. I went through a Dr. Bronner's phase after I watched the documentary don't let it near your butthole. Let me tell you that right now, dog.

[Kevin Christie]

It's. I just. We're in a crisis of filth. When I found out that men don't wash their jeans. I don't care if it's Japanese denim. I don't care. I don't care that you. If you want to put them in the freezer.

[Whitney Cummings]

Do you want me to fix this? I'll fix it right now.

[Kevin Christie]

I want you to call Japan and tell them to cut it out.

[Whitney Cummings]

The difference is this. Men, by and large, wear full butted underwear. A B. Our jeans get nary close to our butthole in comparison. Also, and I don't mean to be gross, but on a level of daily secretion, we do not struggle with the same things you struggle with.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay?

[Whitney Cummings]

You guys have had your denim shoved into your cracks for decades. And that is the reason I needed to hear this. My denim hasn't touched my butthole ever.

[Kevin Christie]

Can I tell you that I'm wearing

[Whitney Cummings]

thick cotton Hanes men's boxer briefs, which is a panty shield between me and the denim of my butt. I also, if you're into Japanese denim, you're not active.

[Kevin Christie]

You know the crazy.

[Whitney Cummings]

You're not athletic.

[Kevin Christie]

The craziest thing about this is I've never thought about the inside of jeans.

[Whitney Cummings]

Thongs.

[Kevin Christie]

I've never thought about it.

[Whitney Cummings]

You all walk around in thongs, which are underwear.

[Kevin Christie]

I've never even thought about the inside me. I've never. I'VE only thought about the outside. You're sitting on the subway. You're sitting on the curb. I've only thought about the outside.

[Whitney Cummings]

Y' all turn slingshots into clothes. And you wonder why some of your butt extra is getting on your pants.

[Kevin Christie]

Well, I mean, I may gave birth not even two and a half years ago, and I go to Sky Zone and jump on the trampoline. So we're washing our jeans in between jumps.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's what it's a. There is a distance between. There's a speed bump. I didn't even think.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm not even concerned about the butthole. I'm concerned about the outside of the jeans.

[Whitney Cummings]

Is the look Look, Is the Japanese denim thing ridiculous? It is. Did I buy into it for over a decade? I did. Did I spend my net worth in jeans that hurt?

[Kevin Christie]

Yes. But can't you wash them and hang dry them?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, you can. And to be honest, most guys do. It's a thing you do when you start wearing them because you want them to get broken in super fast. And then as you get old, you go, what am I doing?

[Kevin Christie]

Let's do red flags that you won't find on. This is like our offline episode. I like this. We'll do episodes with Kevin that are like offline things you can't find online. Okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

You'll just have to download a facts

[Kevin Christie]

We're a lib a Person library. Okay. Oh, how about this? You open his freezer and it's full of jeans. Get out of there.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'd rather see a head.

[Kevin Christie]

Get out. Get out of there.

[Whitney Cummings]

Also, that doesn't work.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, yeah. Well, that's what guys would go like, no, you. I'm not gonna wash my jeans. See, I told you about when I knew I was in love with Chris and respected him is when I did an impression of him. I didn't do that. Yeah, that's when I knew. Cuz every guy I've ever dated, I'm like, oh, no.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. When I do Marcel's voice on stage, it's me. It's my voice. Yeah, yeah, because she does. She doesn't have a dumb voice.

[Kevin Christie]

When I do Chris, I'm like, he's. And then he was like, what should we do later? I was like, oh, I love him. I'm not like making him like one

[Whitney Cummings]

word, wash your jeans. But it's just.

[Kevin Christie]

It just tells me your priority in a way that is like, oh, you also cheat. Just wash it.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, you're also trying to trick us into thinking that you work With a drill. And you don't.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, yeah. Also just. There's certain things like that. I think we're the type of people that push back up against all conformity. But there's some things that everyone does because it's good.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Not everything is.

[Whitney Cummings]

And I mean, I'm literally talking about myself and many of my friends, but we want. We buy all this workwear to look aged while we go to our jobs as, like, creative directors. Like, it's not. And we are wearing. It is a pose. Like, we're wearing a costume. It's a bit of a kit. We just wanna look.

[Kevin Christie]

It's a costume.

[Whitney Cummings]

We don't want. We wanna look like useful men.

[Kevin Christie]

But God. Oh, my. The whole. Yeah. It's like the Dickies with 15, like, pockets for hammers.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, I have a very specific. I don't have a problem with. I don't care. But, like, I went into the Louis Vuitton store on Rodeo the other day, and they have, like, splattered paint. Like, paint splattered workwear. Like, you're an artist. And I'm like, hey, buddy. It's like when I first was a

[Kevin Christie]

commercial, just make it blood and be like, men kill people.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. When I was first a commercial actor, a lot of guys started showing up with glasses with. No. Weren't prescription. And I was like, hey, asshole, get out of my genre. Like, this is. I'm stuck with this.

[Kevin Christie]

It's like, also, you're the person that bullied a kid in high school, calling him four eyes.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Literally, you bullied me and now you want to come and take some of my residuals?

[Kevin Christie]

It's a problem.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, it's a problem.

[Kevin Christie]

It also is funny, though, that. The idea that glasses, like, oh, smarty pants. It's like, no, I have bad genetics.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. My. My. Both sides of my family don't throw us a ball.

[Kevin Christie]

I don't. I don't. I'm not using this to read books.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm using this to find a guy I'm cheating with. Address.

[Whitney Cummings]

The fact that my father survived Vietnam with this eyesight is insane.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Like, this. This doesn't make me smart.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

There's this. It's also. I remember when I first was like. And you knew me well. Like, was a boss. Like, I first had employees.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And that's when I learned the impact when people say, men watch too much porn. Like, I'm sure, fine. But yeah. No one talks about the impact it makes when you're just a woman in the workforce. Trying to show up at your job looking professional. Because I was like, I'm a boss now. I need to, like, show up. And I would, like, you know, I'd wear my glasses, you know, and I would, like, put my hair in a bond and, like, wear a blazer. And everyone would be like, ooh, librarian.

[Whitney Cummings]

I was like, the problem with porn is it has made every sort of outfit is genre.

[Kevin Christie]

I show up, I'm like, guys want a pizza? They're like, pizza delivery guys. Can I just.

[Whitney Cummings]

Plumbers aren't sexy. But important. They are.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, totally. Like.

[Whitney Cummings]

But also, Dickies are just cheap. That's why, like, the reason punks, skaters, everyone. Dickies are less expensive. So when you fuck them up. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Someone who. A messy car. I get. I get it.

[Whitney Cummings]

When I was young, I had a car that was so full of trash, I got pulled over by a cop. And he goes, please don't just tell me there's no drugs in here, because I don't want to search this pile of drugs.

[Kevin Christie]

But that's how I used to not get tickets or. No, I wasn't going to get broken into. I would put my hair extensions on the dashboard because, like, if you don't, you're just gonna poo. Like, it just.

[Whitney Cummings]

There was an SNL sketch like that where it had, like, a car cover that just looked like a trashy car, or. No, it was just. The car looked trashy, but on the inside it was beautiful. Neil Brennan, back in the day, that Chevy Volt.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Was insane. I got in it once for the first time. He goes, can't believe it. Right? I was like, messy, knowing. Oh, wow. Messier than Bobby Lee's.

[Kevin Christie]

But what is this? Because I know, like, when women have a lot of stuff in their purse, mentally, it's. It's kind of one thing.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, Neil doesn't care about stuff. Yeah, he's not a stuff.

[Kevin Christie]

But I'll see people that just have like a. Like a bag of fast food trash that's been there for weeks, like, just in their car.

[Whitney Cummings]

I just. I'm not like. It's why I never have a nice car. I know. I don't care. I'm not a car guy, so. I know. I don't care about cars, so why would I waste money? I had a nice car once, and I lived in fear of it.

[Kevin Christie]

I got it. Congratulations on not having ADD to ignore something.

[Whitney Cummings]

A shower turned around takes.

[Kevin Christie]

To ignore something actually takes more energy than to just handle it.

[Whitney Cummings]

I will say, even as a child, I recognized when things didn't matter. Like, I knew Little League was bullsh. Like, during. When I was in Little League.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Because I was like, I'm clearly.

[Kevin Christie]

It's a very big deal for pedophiles, so how dare you.

[Whitney Cummings]

And red face, bald men that want to scream at a referee.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Yeah. Some people need to scream at kids.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's like, when I see. I don't even want to anyways. But I knew. Even I remember being 11 and we lost, like, an important game and kids were crying. I was like, why do you. And I was on the team and tried hard, but I was just like, we're not. There's no money here. None of us are going to become professional baseball players.

[Kevin Christie]

Totally.

[Whitney Cummings]

Although Jim Parquet on my team became a professional baseball player.

[Kevin Christie]

I was like, the. I thought everything was such, like, talent show, show and tell. I was like, I'm going to win. Like, I'm practicing for being on Oprah.

[Whitney Cummings]

I didn't care.

[Kevin Christie]

I was like, this is.

[Whitney Cummings]

But you're like, you got. I got. I never got good grades. Like, I barely.

[Kevin Christie]

If you hear stories or, like, watch TV as much as I did as a kid and you see stories. Not this one, but whatever iteration of, like, Courteney Cox was just at a Bruce Springsteen concert, and he called her on stage. Like, I lived, like, walking around grocery stores. Like, someone's going to just see me and be like, you.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'm going to talk to you briefly about bangs and hairstyles in general. This won't be bride Courteney Cox. That video changed the way I. That was like, a benchmark of, like, oh, that's the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, her in that video is unbelievable,

[Kevin Christie]

but she's also so effervescent. And, like, during that time, women were tie, tie. Low blood sugar, too. Like, not vivacious and fun. It was very, like, zombie chic. I thought you had to be, like, pale and sad. And then she just looks so healthy and happy.

[Whitney Cummings]

And I was like, that was, like, the most girl next door thing I'd ever seen.

[Kevin Christie]

Do men like happy women?

[Whitney Cummings]

Bruce Springsteen's videos. That and the one where he's just pitching is. I mean, he nailed it. No one looked better in just jeans. Also, she got on stage during a concert. That was basically an acting job.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

To dance on cue in front of

[Kevin Christie]

50,000 people was that first thing.

[Whitney Cummings]

I don't know. No, she kind of worked a lot. I think she was, like, pretty successful.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

She was in the show called Misfits of Science. That was like a one season show. She was great.

[Kevin Christie]

I from a very early age knew like you have to get. Cause my dad would. The only thing that got attention in the house was like the TV comedies usually. Snl, Dan Aykroyd, Three Amigos.

[Whitney Cummings]

What sitcoms did you watch the most?

[Kevin Christie]

To this day my favorite show is Martin. The Cosby Show. I will defend the Cosby show all day long. He didn't write it. He didn't write it. There's plenty of other people on it. Was it weird? I always thought it was weird that he. That Cliff Huxtable was a gynecologist who worked out of his basement. I always thought it was weird that he walked up the stairs taking gloves off.

[Whitney Cummings]

There's no way you could get a license in New York to do that. There's no way.

[Kevin Christie]

Wait, what?

[Whitney Cummings]

There's no way.

[Kevin Christie]

He would take gloves off as he was walking up the stairs to his home.

[Whitney Cummings]

Did you watch Living Single?

[Kevin Christie]

Of course. Oh, I did love Living Single. I also definitely Golden Girls.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

I was in the mix on a lot. Did you know that Golden Girls, that Blanche in the Golden Girls was the same age as Angelina Jolie now?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And she was in a retirement facility.

[Whitney Cummings]

The joke writing on the Golden Girls is unbelievable. I was Three's Company is like perfect.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep.

[Whitney Cummings]

It was on four times a day when I was a kid.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, three's Company was a big one in my and Married with Children.

[Whitney Cummings]

John Ritter was the first human I ever saw being funny.

[Kevin Christie]

Imagine trying to pitch that show. Pitch me the show.

[Whitney Cummings]

So there's this guy, he can't get a decent apartment, so he pretends to be a homosexual so he can live with two women in Santa Monica.

[Kevin Christie]

How. I'm sorry? How do you pretend to be a homo?

[Whitney Cummings]

Like he kind. He. It's mostly eyelash work.

[Kevin Christie]

Uh huh.

[Whitney Cummings]

He blinks in a specific way. And it's mostly Mr. Roper doing this thing with his hand. That was the big thing. He would go like this. That meant, dude, Norman fell. Norman fell. And then Don Knotts, the Ropers, they ruined. They made them do a spinoff. And he begged me, he said, please don't do this.

[Kevin Christie]

You know why Three's? I mean, look, three's company was a very big deal to me.

[Whitney Cummings]

It was amazing.

[Kevin Christie]

But it's harder to watch as a woman because you have to. You're like, am I the Chrissy or the Janet? And I'm a Janet and that's honestly fine. We need Janets. What about the Cindy Everyone needs Janet. Cindy was. No, I'm not gonna.

[Whitney Cummings]

Also, not a bra in an episode. Not a single bra.

[Kevin Christie]

Not a single bra. Insider show.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, just take, like, not a bra in sight.

[Kevin Christie]

Tissue thin tank top, more bras on Game of Thrones. Yeah. And by the way, it gets cold in la. Like Santa Monica's chili. Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

There's an ocean breeze. They lived right on the beach. You could see it when they walked the regal beach.

[Kevin Christie]

Those aren't shorts.

[Whitney Cummings]

How dare you?

[Kevin Christie]

Those are panties. At best.

[Whitney Cummings]

John Ritter was a genius.

[Kevin Christie]

The level of camel toe when these women were going to work.

[Whitney Cummings]

This is the dancing, though. I mean, that show was.

[Kevin Christie]

It's just like. It's.

[Whitney Cummings]

Look, I watched too close for comfort.

[Kevin Christie]

No.

[Whitney Cummings]

Okay.

[Kevin Christie]

I. I'm trying to think. I definitely watch who's the Boss? Oh, yeah. I was a big. Who's the Boss? Guy.

[Whitney Cummings]

My first celebrity crush. Alyssa Milano. And my two dads.

[Kevin Christie]

No, I didn't have one. I'm not Paynes. No.

[Whitney Cummings]

Really? I guess you. Because you're younger than me.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, I didn't really. It was. I remember when I got home from school, it was Saved by the Bell.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Full House.

[Whitney Cummings]

Full House was amazing.

[Kevin Christie]

Save by the Bell. Full House.

[Whitney Cummings]

Full House was an amazing show. Yeah. What was the one? Because that was part of Fresh Prince.

[Kevin Christie]

I definitely watch Fresh Prince.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. I watched Fresh Prince of Bel Air every time. Why don't you want me, man?

[Kevin Christie]

So good. But I don't like that. Didn't have an indelible. There was one called Step. Not. No.

[Whitney Cummings]

Step by Step.

[Kevin Christie]

Yep.

[Whitney Cummings]

That was. Well, that was part of, I think, the Friday night ABC lineup. Full House was. And Step by Cause, Suzanne Somers, Saved

[Kevin Christie]

by the Bell was a big deal for me.

[Whitney Cummings]

It was. I mean, that was a massive show.

[Kevin Christie]

I was big because, like, Lisa Turtle.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Was just, like, crucial for me because I. Because, I mean, maybe this is, like a girl thing where you look at a group of friends, you're like, which one am I?

[Whitney Cummings]

Which one am I? Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And then I was like, oh, Lisa, like, pops in and out. She's not at all the things.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like. And they still like her because I. I lived in a place where I couldn't, like, get to the fun parties. Like, I was, like, lived far away from everything all the time, and I didn't have anyone to give me rides. So I was like, can you still have a friend group and only come to, like, 20% of the hangs? So, like, Lisa, like, she pops in, she pops out. Like, don't want to wear out my welcome. I'm good in small doses.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, that's interesting. Who do you. Who then? Who were you on Full House? Which one were you? DJ dude.

[Kevin Christie]

Wait, who's that? Oh, on Full House.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. Which character are you?

[Kevin Christie]

And I was that off camera twin. I was the less.

[Whitney Cummings]

The less reliable also.

[Kevin Christie]

I know. I like it. I like to think that I was the one that was. They both ate in the womb.

[Whitney Cummings]

John Stamos, triplet, was at the Comedy Store recently. And it was just like, you still are so insanely handsome.

[Kevin Christie]

You know that he's a drummer for the Beach Boys also?

[Whitney Cummings]

No, I knew that, but I thought it was kind of like stunt. Like, he's famous. He can absolutely shred.

[Kevin Christie]

There's things that it cannot be overstated. The impact of Tori Amos and Alanis Morissette on me. And finding out that Alanis Morissette finding

[Whitney Cummings]

out is a punk icon that David

[Kevin Christie]

Coulier was like, broke her heart, ruined Full House for me.

[Whitney Cummings]

Tough day.

[Kevin Christie]

And I. That's not fair. I say it as I say it. I know it. It's not fair. I know it's not fair. But I guess I can also say thank you for breaking her heart because that made this great gift. I don't know. I wonder if I'll watch the Cosby show with no guilt before I'll watch Full House knowing Dave Coulier gets a dollar.

[Whitney Cummings]

He's fighting cancer right now.

[Kevin Christie]

Karma. Jesus Christ. Pat.

[Whitney Cummings]

Pat.

[Kevin Christie]

Mark, that Married With Children and Roseanne.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Were what I watched because they bickered.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And my family fought like dogs.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And so I kind of was like, oh, yeah. This is like normal. Like, families that were just got along. I was.

[Whitney Cummings]

I felt like. I felt super connected to Bud Bundy for sure.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, dude. Yeah, dude. But also just the way he had a skateboard.

[Whitney Cummings]

Then he got into rap.

[Kevin Christie]

The way that Al Bundy just hated his wife. Like, watching it now, it is so brutal. But it wasn't like, sexist to me. Like, that house.

[Whitney Cummings]

He worked at a shoe store, supported an entire family and owned a home.

[Kevin Christie]

And by the way, every woman that came in, he was just, like, disgusted by women. Like, it was so funny. It's like the same way, like, the relationship between Martin and Pam. And Martin.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

He would call her a dog. I mean, he would.

[Whitney Cummings]

Martin was crazy. Dude, that show was perfect. That show was so good.

[Kevin Christie]

Watching Martin, I mean, look, I can walk you through every season because, you know, now that I know sort of like all the history behind it. Like, there's a season where he was, you know, he admits like using. And they would only do one take.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

So he was like out of frame half the shots. But they'd only do one take. So they would just move on. There's a scene, there was a scene where they're playing pool and you just see his pool stick and he like pops in. But like they just, they just, they didn't reshoot the scene so that he's actually on camera. One of my favorite things to do with Martin is just watch it. Only watching the other actors try not to laugh at him. They're always doing this. They're always like here. They're always trying to hide their face. Cause he's being so funny. Imagine trying to keep a straight face with him. It's one of my favorite things. And then him and obviously Gina on the show, they couldn't be on set at the same time. So by season two, Gina's got this job and they never see each other and they're never in scenes together. I'm obsessed with, with how they made it work anyway. And then there's all these little like self reflective things where like he jumps out the window and then everyone in the crew jumps out the window. Like it was a bonkers show.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, that was that show. I mean, if that show was. Had been 10 years later, it would have been even bigger and everyone would have got paid 10 times.

[Kevin Christie]

You know what else is weird? One time you came and you did an episode of the sitcom. You did two episodes of the sitcom. I did. And you were like, you're doing so much.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh yeah. That's when I realized I didn't want my own television show. Cause I was like, if this is

[Kevin Christie]

what it is, glad I could be of service.

[Whitney Cummings]

I did steal my carabiner keychain thing from set. And I still have it.

[Kevin Christie]

I think that because my understanding or my true north was Martin and he was playing four parts.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. I just remember someone came up to me and was like, what color do we paint the wall? And I was like, that's her job too. This sucks. Like literally I was like, dad sucks. And you know, this is what I remember. We were standing there. You had to. We were standing there about to do a scene and you were so tired. You went like this. You went, okay, okay, okay. Jesus. All right, all right. They're waiting. They're like sound speed. And you're like, okay, okay, all right, all right. Come on. All right, all right. Like you were literally trying to just wake up enough at 7pm on a Tuesday to just go out and be like, guys, I don't think we have the right amount of cake for the party. And I was like, that's too much tired. That's way too much tired. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's getting paid a lot of money, but I don't know if it's worth all that. Looks like she's about to have a stroke.

[Kevin Christie]

I never tell you.

[Whitney Cummings]

You're like, okay, okay, okay. Like, you had to fight a bull.

[Kevin Christie]

Did I ever tell you about that? When I went to, like, some, like. Like, one of the events for the show, like, a wrap party or something. And I pride myself on knowing everybody's name. And there was a guy there that I didn't know. I was like, oh, hi. Oh, my God. Have we not met? Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Like, I'm Whitney. Like. And he goes, oh, yeah, we've never met. I take the bags out under your eyes in post. I fix your face in post. I was like, what? Yeah, we have that.

[Whitney Cummings]

And he's like, my kid goes to private school now.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. He's like, oh, you. Oh. So I'm like, I'm animated.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Like, I'm a cartoon in the show. Because I did always. I was like, I guess I have such bad body dysmorphia. Like, I think I look so tired. And then of the show, I'm like, I look like I made it good.

[Whitney Cummings]

I met a guy who had to correct my scar for, like, multiple episodes. And I was like, how much that cost? He goes, a lot.

[Kevin Christie]

And I'm like, well, this is why people think my acting isn't good. You can't. Can you leave in my bags, please? Like, it's. I'd rather that than have the. Like, there's one where my boyfriend proposes to me, and it's just like. Like a cloud, and then just a tear, like, starts, like, by my mouth. I'm like, we have to leave some of this in, guys. Am I this horrifying in person? Like, people. Like, Skeletor is popular.

[Whitney Cummings]

I literally. He man comes out this week.

[Kevin Christie]

I know.

[Whitney Cummings]

I literally. I want to go.

[Kevin Christie]

The original pronoun at.

[Whitney Cummings]

At. They put Castle Grayskull all over man's Chinese. It looks amazing.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm dating Chris Cobra Cole. You don't think I. That's all over my inbox.

[Whitney Cummings]

Think of what this means to Mike Black. Oh, he has Castle Grayskull. He sent me pics. Apparently, that movie.

[Kevin Christie]

No. What? The movie. Who cares?

[Whitney Cummings]

But who's it for? Like, literally I'm almost 50.

[Kevin Christie]

What kind of loser goes to a movie and needs it to be good?

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, it costs $80. It's like going to Dodger Stadium.

[Kevin Christie]

$80 to see a movie.

[Whitney Cummings]

By the time you buy tickets and then food.

[Kevin Christie]

That's true.

[Whitney Cummings]

You have spent close to 100 bucks.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm sorry, you're buying food at the place?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, it's an expiry on.

[Kevin Christie]

No, I put it. I put a.

[Whitney Cummings]

Also, I will say this. AMC has stepped up their commemorative cup game to a level that is worth the money.

[Kevin Christie]

I will put a Fig Newton into inside me before I'm gonna go buy a mike. And I.

[Whitney Cummings]

When the last alien came out, the popcorn bucket had an alien monster on it. I couldn't have bought it faster.

[Kevin Christie]

There's a couple things. I'm done with sleeping eight hours. Quit it. No one. Sleeping eight hours. No one. This whole thing where we need to start shaming people for not. No one can sleep eight hours. If you are, you need to go to a doctor. If you can sleep eight hours as you have clinical depression was time for. That's. No. And we're not thinking. Movies have to be good. Okay?

[Whitney Cummings]

Jesus.

[Kevin Christie]

Can everyone. Am I wrong? If all those things were taken off your plate, your life would be like, half as hard.

[Whitney Cummings]

I want movies to be good.

[Kevin Christie]

They can be fine. Have. Name five good movies that have ever happened.

[Whitney Cummings]

Jurassic Park, Schindler's List. We're just still in Spielberg. Catch me if you can.

[Kevin Christie]

Okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

That thing you do. Tom Hanks.

[Kevin Christie]

That's 10 movies. Good movie. If you get one good movie a year.

[Whitney Cummings]

All the President's Men.

[Kevin Christie]

Be.

[Whitney Cummings]

That's the Godfather.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. No, but I'm saying that's still. Given the 50 years it spans, that's zero movies.

[Whitney Cummings]

I will say there's a lot of. There's enough good movies right now.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

I've seen, like, most of them.

[Kevin Christie]

That's good enough. All of them being good. You gotta have a couple sketchers out there. Sometimes there's a Katy Perry of movies. Like, most movies are Katy Perry and sketchers. I think I get so defensive because, like, if we expect every movie to be good, then I go, well, then now my comedy has to be. Be for everyone.

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And I don't. I'm not for everyone. And I know that. So if you come, it's like, this is. No, it's just. It's not for you.

[Whitney Cummings]

Also, if all movies are good, you'd kind of. You'd get rid of the stoner category.

[Kevin Christie]

It's like, all People being your soulmate. What would you. How would it be very overwhelming.

[Whitney Cummings]

It is. Have you seen my body?

[Kevin Christie]

Like, I don't want everything to be great. I'm done with needing everything to be good.

[Whitney Cummings]

It must be. If you think about being like Liam Hemsworth, it must be quite the burden that you're that hot where you're like, every woman's like, no, I would. Dude, this is too much.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm happy for everyone. I just think that we need to just get down with mediocrity. Because that's punk, dude. Like, I'm sorry. Not everything can be supreme. Not everything can be. You know.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, punk inherently is pretty simple.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Three chords.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. Like, why can't you just cheer on someone that did something impossible? That is fine.

[Whitney Cummings]

You know, you're kind of talking about small town parades.

[Kevin Christie]

But it's. By the way, that is by definition.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Irreplaceable.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Priceless.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

And impossible to duplicate.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's like a wonky, handmade gift you. Someone made for you.

[Kevin Christie]

I think we just need to approach our movies or as like we're cheering someone on in their dream. Let's just be glad that it was made by people.

[Whitney Cummings]

You and I know. Making like, making a movie that's okay is almost impossible. Making a good movie, as far as I'm concerned, you are a wizard.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh. You know, because also I would like at the end of every movie now to see no humans were harmed in the making of this movie.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

So the better a movie, I feel like the more some. The everyone was screamed at. I'm like, this movie's really good. Is everyone okay?

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, there was yelling.

[Kevin Christie]

To get everyone on the same page. To execute a perfect vision means a lot of people got screamed out.

[Whitney Cummings]

That tracking shot was so long. Someone was crying.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, how many divorces happened.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

During this production?

[Whitney Cummings]

Oh, many.

[Kevin Christie]

You know, that's what bothered when something is too good. I'm like, this is. This means that a lot of people drove home half asleep.

[Whitney Cummings]

They shot on location in France. People got divorced.

[Kevin Christie]

How many transpo guys drove off the road?

[Whitney Cummings]

That's how good lost was. All those DUIs in Hawaii.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah. That's my issue.

[Whitney Cummings]

They're driving home at night.

[Kevin Christie]

Uh huh. Don't like it. I'd rather it be a little less good and everyone be fine. It's like, yeah. It's like, I don't eat coconuts. Cause I found out that they're training monkeys to get them. I'm like, they're not good enough.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'll take Police Academy 3 in an eight hour day.

[Kevin Christie]

That's it. It's fine. Yeah, I don't need a movie to be that good that badly to where kids have to act.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, you know, I. Yeah, I agree.

[Kevin Christie]

I'm good. I'd rather know a kid is having a childhood than see the movie where he's. It's the end of the world and the kid gets sucked in the volcano. Like, I'm good.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, I'm with you on the kid thing.

[Kevin Christie]

I don't.

[Whitney Cummings]

I don't get it.

[Kevin Christie]

I would rather not see a movie at all, you know, and continue digging into my cuticles till they bleed because I'm so bored. Then watch a kid have emotions or get fake kidnapped knowing full well a year before that they were even younger at an audition with a bunch of adults in a room and had to cry on cue.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, it's rough, man.

[Kevin Christie]

And someone. Someone put lip gloss on him in the car.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's rough, dude.

[Kevin Christie]

I like. I'm good. That's why I'm so pro. Like cgi. The kids do you know that? Like, you can't put a dog in a movie without someone standing there the whole time to make sure they're okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

Kids.

[Whitney Cummings]

Ah. Dude, the kid thing is rough.

[Kevin Christie]

Just CGI them.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah. I can't imagine talking to someone even under 30.

[Kevin Christie]

It's like high school shows about high school.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah.

[Kevin Christie]

There should just be like a. If you're not in high school, you just can't watch this.

[Whitney Cummings]

No, you have to be. I can't watch shows about college. I'm just like, I don't.

[Kevin Christie]

But if you want to. There's something. It's weird.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'll mainline on Golden Pond.

[Kevin Christie]

I don't care. Like, I don't care that she. The guy didn't text her back for prom.

[Whitney Cummings]

It's the way you outgrow music. Like the, like emo punk that made you sad when you were 18. You listen to it as an adult and you go, just go talk to another girl, man. Like, what's the problem?

[Kevin Christie]

Don't do this because I will start talking about Shirley Temple. And we end at this point. It can't be my number one Google search. Two or three, maybe. Kevin Christie. Thank you for coming in. What do we call this? It should be a series. Like what?

[Whitney Cummings]

Vibe check.

[Kevin Christie]

Vibe check. Is Wendy okay?

[Whitney Cummings]

But the type has to look really dumb.

[Kevin Christie]

My closest friends. Like, there's three or four people in my life who, like a lot of their text correspondence is people Just asking them if I'm okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

Me and Dan Levy.

[Kevin Christie]

Yes, that's right.

[Whitney Cummings]

Have you seen Whitney lately? Yeah, she seems fine. I was with her yesterday.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah? Yeah, Dan will be like, things are going well. Like, no one's asking me if you're okay.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, he told me when he was writing on your show, his entire phone was just him checking on you and whoever you were dating checking on you through him. It's constant. No, she seems fine. I saw her yesterday. I think it's going to be okay. So, I mean, I don't think I save by Dan Levy text, but like, that's what most of it is.

[Kevin Christie]

The worst part of Dan, though, is that you can you. I can tell the truth to him. He can't handle it. So even when I wasn't okay, I couldn't tell him. So I would lie. But I can't lie. Like I'm so bad at it. So he'd be like, what's going on? Like, where are you headed? It's like 8pm on like a Thursday when I was like headed out to like make a terrible, like self destructive decision with like a family member.

[Whitney Cummings]

I'm not climbing a fence.

[Kevin Christie]

Was. No, I'd be like, yeah, I'm like going to head to the gym. And he just like, why are you lying? I was like, because you can't handle the truth. Like I'm Jack Nicholson. Like, I was just like, I can't tell you.

[Whitney Cummings]

Well, he would just go tell his wife and then she'd figure it out.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah.

[Whitney Cummings]

Anyways, right?

[Kevin Christie]

Elephants, the hologram ones. This is how close Kevin and I are. And a part of why I love him so much. Yesterday, he's like, you know there's like hologram elephants now.

[Whitney Cummings]

Yeah, I watched a video on it. They look amazing.

[Kevin Christie]

And by the way. And then we'll end on me.

[Whitney Cummings]

You can put Tupac on it.

[Kevin Christie]

Oh, hilarious. On me. Have you seen the. I think it's. This is where AI, I'm all for it. They turn kids paintings, or any paintings into videos. I want to start doing it with your paintings. So that's like a kid's painting.

[Whitney Cummings]

I mean, I have always wanted to sue you. So go ahead. AI is a great tool. If you're lazy and untalented, why can't

[Kevin Christie]

we animate your paintings with ChatGPT or whoever does it?

[Whitney Cummings]

Because. No, sorry.

[Kevin Christie]

Why not?

[Whitney Cummings]

I'm not gonna put batteries in the thing. That's gonna eliminate me.

[Kevin Christie]

Yeah, but it would.

[Whitney Cummings]

Nope.

[Kevin Christie]

But it has to.

[Whitney Cummings]

Like, how dare you? Okay, fine.

[Kevin Christie]

Don't write else animate Kevin's paintings.

[Whitney Cummings]

Do you know the shape of my spine? There's a reason it's that shape.

[Kevin Christie]

But it wouldn't be like. It would just be to like.

[Whitney Cummings]

Nope.

[Kevin Christie]

Fine. Lawyer up. It.