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Josh Peck
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck.
Ben Soffer
And I'm Ben Soffer.
Ben Saffir
And we're the Good Guys.
Josh Peck
There's a lot of guys out there.
Ben Soffer
And we're the good ones.
Josh Peck
Miles and morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with the third Kelsey brother. It's Ben Saffir.
Ben Saffir
Thank you very much. And I am sitting here with the one, the only comedic genius born in New York City. Actually, Brooklyn, New York. Excuse me, I already fucked up.
Robbie Hoffman
It is New York City.
Ben Soffer
We love you. No, Brooklyn is not New York City.
Robbie Hoffman
Yes, it is. That's what I'm talking about.
Josh Peck
Sure it is.
Ben Saffir
No, but, like, when I think of New York City, I think of Manhattan. Oh, good. This is good.
Robbie Hoffman
5 boroughs. Name them right now.
Ben Soffer
Okay.
Ben Saffir
Queens, Staten Island, Bronx, New York. What did I miss?
Robbie Hoffman
Manhattan is New York, by the way.
Ben Soffer
Cool.
Ben Saffir
Okay, what did I miss?
Ben Soffer
And Brooklyn. Okay, but we really refer to that.
Ben Saffir
As New York City.
Robbie Hoffman
Yes, I'm from the city. Okay?
Josh Peck
Yes.
Ben Saffir
So people from Staten island say, I'm from the city.
Robbie Hoffman
And that's not from the city, but New York City. When you're on your birth certificate or you're doing your passport, it's New York City. You don't write Brooklyn.
Ben Soffer
Fine.
Ben Saffir
But if somebody comes up to you from Staten island and says, I'm from New York City, you're fine with that.
Robbie Hoffman
Well, nobody should come up to me for any reason, especially to tell me you're from Staten Island. I have nothing. What do I do with that? What are you expecting from that interaction?
Ben Saffir
You do nothing. You do nothing.
Josh Peck
What is a good reason to approach you?
Robbie Hoffman
None. I'm not very. You know what? I don't give it. You know how people post these crowd clips or stuff like that? I got lucky because I don't seem very approachable and my audience is no better than to fucking talk to me. Okay. You will speak when spoken to.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. It's not going to go well and not in a funny way. I'm not going to be clipping this. It's going nowhere and you've just ruined your night.
Ben Saffir
I'm so jealous. Ours are the opposite. They are Yenta City coming up to us, looking at Gab. We're too nice.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm not gabbing. I don't look oppressed. I don't look friendly. And I'm not.
Josh Peck
So if someone heckles you or speaks out of one of your comedy shows, you're getting them kicked out.
Robbie Hoffman
No, they just don't do it.
Josh Peck
They know Better.
Robbie Hoffman
They know better.
Ben Saffir
Smart.
Robbie Hoffman
You're coming to see me. You're coming to see me. Nobody is coming to see you. Yes, we are all here for me. When we're here for me.
Ben Soffer
Yes.
Josh Peck
Love this. Will you talk a little? I discovered you from our good friend Ian Finance from his podcast.
Robbie Hoffman
Oh good. I get in trouble. I don't know every comedian in the city. It's obscene. Just crazy. I don't know.
Ben Saffir
That clip was insane. That clip was insane. To think and I don't know who this person is. I'm not trying to shit on her, but to think.
Robbie Hoffman
Hi, Jordan.
Josh Peck
Jordan Jameson the great to have.
Ben Saffir
I'm sorry. Well then I'm just gonna say it. To have such a big head that you think that everybody in the world should know who you are. Settle down, okay, I know who Ellen is. Settle down.
Robbie Hoffman
It's not like I know nobody, okay? I know Eddie Murphy. There are people I do know. Yes, there are people.
Josh Peck
I've heard of Seinfeld.
Ben Saffir
Did you know me? Did you know me?
Robbie Hoffman
I actually did know you because I love your wife and then I was discovered to you and I just love you guys together and I'm big on relationships. I love a good cutesy couple. That's my shit.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Ben Saffir
Thank you. I love you and I knew you.
Robbie Hoffman
Thank you.
Ben Saffir
Love you and knew you and I wouldn't care.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm not offended if you didn't.
Ben Saffir
But I'm just letting you know that I did and I have people know me.
Robbie Hoffman
Jordan, I've been saying this.
Ben Saffir
The Instagram follow read receipt to boot.
Robbie Hoffman
Thank you.
Ben Saffir
Do I follow you?
Robbie Hoffman
Thank you. Do I follow you? Because I better start following.
Ben Saffir
But that's fine.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm gonna follow now that I know.
Josh Peck
There'S gonna be some following going on.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah.
Josh Peck
Talk a little bit about your beginnings. Cause I think your whole story is fascinating.
Robbie Hoffman
I've talked at length about this, but you have a specific question.
Josh Peck
Okay, tell me about. So you grew up and feel free to just tell me to shut up.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, kind of. That's where I'm aiming. But go on. But go on.
Josh Peck
Perfect. So you grew up, you have 10 siblings.
Robbie Hoffman
Nine.
Josh Peck
Nine siblings.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm one of 10.
Josh Peck
Traditional Jewish Orthodox household.
Robbie Hoffman
Yes.
Josh Peck
And then now you're a stand up not so observant anymore.
Robbie Hoffman
Well, see, it's hard for when I talk about this stuff. It's not like black and white. You know, Gabby thinks I'm the most religious person she's ever met. Your beautiful girlfriend. Yeah. You know I have a mezuzah on my Door. You know, I'm not an animal. I mean, there's certain things, you know, there's certain things. I say the schma in the evening. Hear me. I like that prayer. You know, there's things that have stuck with me, and there's a lot, you know, most hasn't. I'm obviously, you know, Hasidic to scissoring. It's not everybody's path, but, you know, there's obviously. So it's what's scissoring? Like, you know what? I really don't do it a lot, but for. I do the. There's a lesbian handshake right there.
Josh Peck
I love that. Ooh, that's good.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. I wish I could do it with you.
Josh Peck
Patent pending. That was intimate.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, it's kind of like a spectrum. In my family, there are people who keep more than others, who are more observant than others. I was born into a Labavich family. For listeners that know it's a sect of the Hasidic community.
Josh Peck
Sort of the typical. The way we see it in movies.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, but, you know. But people often think from Williamsburg. I'm from the Crown Heights, which I think is chiller than the Williamsburg. I mean, to the average person, they both look insane. But I know that it's a lot cooler in the Lubavitch community. But then we moved to Montreal, and I moved my whole family. I was just a kid, so the whole religious thing was really something my parents did to us. We didn't become religious or anything. We were born religious. And then we. What's called. Fried out. We slowly but surely did less and less. But still I remain the most religious person at my school. So I went to now a conservative Jewish school, not an orthodox Jewish.
Ben Saffir
Where'd you go to school?
Robbie Hoffman
Bialik. I mean. Cut.
Ben Saffir
I mean, my dad went to Bialik.
Robbie Hoffman
Look at this.
Ben Saffir
Just. That's why I asked.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay, keep it in there. Shout out to Bialik.
Josh Peck
Why not in Montreal? Your dad went to school in Montreal?
Ben Saffir
No, but he went to Bialik in Brooklyn.
Ben Soffer
Maybe it's the same.
Robbie Hoffman
Oh, see, it's. Now I'm not as excited. I literally thought he went to school different country.
Ben Saffir
Okay, Josh didn't have to follow up. He went to Bialik.
Robbie Hoffman
Bialik, continue.
Ben Saffir
I prefer Biali.
Robbie Hoffman
Nobody saw him there. Nobody saw him there. Okay. This is like he was the guy working at McDonald's. It's not a pick. There's no.
Josh Peck
There's no proof, no receipts. Meanwhile, Donnie was the young plenty.
Ben Saffir
He was the Young, overweight boy in the back brace fighting scoliosis.
Robbie Hoffman
Nobody heard of him.
Ben Saffir
You saw him, you probably picked on him.
Josh Peck
You know, they did some exit studies, and we're not a political podcast, but they said that TRUMP Working at McDonald's was one of the most effective photo ops of his entire campaign.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, I worked at McDonald's. I am the only person on record record who has worked at McDonald's. We've all seen this. Let's show the listeners it's great.
Josh Peck
And we'll have our video editors put it in.
Robbie Hoffman
The editor's got to put it in, and if not, I'll put it in. I don't trust nobody. Okay, well, I can't put it in because look at this. But anyway, we trust you.
Ben Saffir
What did you do at McDonald's?
Robbie Hoffman
Well, we digress. Okay, here's what we did to go to McDonald's. We were working at this coffee shop. The coffee shop separated me and my best friend Shani. Shout out to Shani, got out. And because we were chatting. Yeah, we're chatting. Occasionally. I broke a cookie to eat a. You know, working at the coffee shop, you're like 18 years old. What do you care? And then she got win that. McDonald's would be paying $11 an hour. And we were making like eight or something like that. So we're like, we got it. So we apply very professionally, bring our fake TVs. Da, da, da. I worked for her dad. She worked for my dad. If anybody calls anyone, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, you close the loop. Yeah, you make, you know, you inform everybody, by the way, if you get a call. I worked. I was, you know, I was on time, whatever the thing, and. But we got to the McDonald's training. First of all, in the training, they kept saying, like, oh, people come into the restaurant, do this. I remember thinking like, what restaurant? And then I realized they were referring to McDonald's as a restaurant. And it blew my mind. I'm like, look, you know, when we have customers come into the restaurant? I was like. I kept looking across the street, like, is this gonna interfere with our, you know, shifts or something? Not knowing that they were referring to us as a restaurant, which blew my mind. And then we said, we only wanna work the till. We only wanna work the cash.
Josh Peck
You wanted to steal.
Robbie Hoffman
No, we don't wanna be doing the burgers.
Josh Peck
Yeah, it's too messy.
Ben Soffer
Because you wanna steal.
Josh Peck
I don't know.
Robbie Hoffman
By the way, we did steal plenty. Yes, you did.
Josh Peck
Listen, I know where this is. Going, robbie and I come from the mean streets there.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. And by the way, they're stealing from their employees. Nobody stealing. Stealing. We're not stealing. We're Robin Hooding. Nobody is stealing nothing.
Ben Soffer
True.
Robbie Hoffman
So we go, we only want to work the cash. Two Jews come in to work at McDonald's. We would only like to work. And I let them know I'm very quick on a machine like me tallying. What are we doing? Get it out, get it out.
Josh Peck
It's so good.
Robbie Hoffman
So already everybody hated us because the way that this McDonald's worked. Well, I'm sure many of them do, or all of them is that it's a rotation. Like you're on. Like, most people end up sticking somewhere. But really if you're called in to do any station, whether it's the fry station or the back, you know, with the burgers and everything that. And you're. And you're called also to do the till, to do the cash. And we were like, we only. And so people did not like us. What we did have going for us is we were very hot. I was very good at the time. I was a secret lesbian. But using men when I needed to.
Josh Peck
Ooh, say more.
Robbie Hoffman
Just like, you know, like, I'm not paying for a drink. Like, that's not gonna be happening.
Josh Peck
Love me.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, like, the Jewish reasons to be straight. I very much picked and choose. Just like my Judaism.
Josh Peck
And what was your observations as like a would be seductress with no interest. Were you like, men are so dumb?
Robbie Hoffman
No. Well, I was a part of. Because I grew up poor. I was like in a poor. I was the poorest of anyone I knew. Which to be Jewish and poor felt unheard of. Felt like, how. What an outlier. This is the biggest outlier of anything I've had is that I'm Jewish and poor. I haven't heard of the story since reading about Anne Frank, by the way. I went to go see the attic and I'm like, not bad. It's pretty rude. Nice, by the way. Three bedroom.
Ben Soffer
Beautiful.
Robbie Hoffman
Could be completely dining.
Ben Saffir
Who knows?
Robbie Hoffman
I mean, I'm looking at this attic and I'm going, Jesus. It's not ideal, but it's better than many.
Ben Soffer
Yeah, for sure.
Robbie Hoffman
Than many.
Josh Peck
They leave that part of the story out.
Robbie Hoffman
May her.
Ben Saffir
She certainly didn't need. She certainly didn't need to live so.
Robbie Hoffman
Lavishly if she was deadline up in that. You know, you picture an attic, what do you picture? Some dust?
Josh Peck
A frame.
Robbie Hoffman
A frame? No, a frame. They're standing fully Up. They're up.
Josh Peck
You know, everyone knows Anne Frank. I want to know Annie Frank. Because, you know, Andy was having fun, you know, play the little backgammon up there.
Robbie Hoffman
Oh, my God. And then so I. I was the friend who never had no money, but I was able to do. You know, it's kind of like a blind person can hear better or whatever it is, you know, your other senses. I used, you know, my mouth, my words, my cup, my head, all that stuff. So we would go out. Let's say we went to, like, a club in Montreal or whatever, and it was like a $20 entrance fee. And maybe my friend was like, well, I got you. You know, sure. I would be the one to go up to. Like, let's say we're like, 18. First of all, we go to the club. You're like, you know, a group of eight girls who are like, 17, sneaking to be 18 or whatever. And you're like, I can't believe we got in.
Ben Soffer
Right?
Robbie Hoffman
You know, we feel like we're getting pal. Like, I can't believe we got in. It's like, obviously they want these teenage girls. They know what you're doing, you know, so. And we're like. They make you feel like you won. Something happened with my. My hearing.
Josh Peck
Olivia.
Robbie Hoffman
Suddenly it's like, much louder. Here. Oh, here, let me. And I'm a loud. Talk to her. I'm a loud talker. You might have to be more involved in this episode than you are in others. My levels. Okay, how are we doing with this now? This is a bit better. Yeah, that's a bit better. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josh Peck
There you go.
Robbie Hoffman
Because this is going to be the situation. Like Joan Rivers. You know, the doctor wasn't watching her monitor, and she died. And I know it's a boring job to watch a monitor, but it's all. The surgeon. The anesthesiologist has just paid to put the anesthesia in you, sir. Only job watch. But of course he's texting. He's taking pictures.
Josh Peck
I think he took a selfie with Joan's body. Sick.
Ben Saffir
She was murdered. She was murdered.
Robbie Hoffman
I don't.
Ben Saffir
I don't know who. I don't know who. Had something against Joan. She was murdered. That is a cold case. They stuffed it away with jfk. We'll find out soon.
Robbie Hoffman
She was not. I could not agree more. Murdered, really. Murdered in her prime.
Ben Saffir
You know who murdered her? De Blasio.
Robbie Hoffman
There we go. That's who. I think.
Josh Peck
I don't want to bring up another cold case, Richard Simmons. Little weird. Little weird. The way he went.
Robbie Hoffman
I don't want to go.
Ben Saffir
Did he? Only to you.
Josh Peck
You don't know that.
Ben Soffer
Robbie.
Robbie Hoffman
He's been wanting to go for 30, 40 years. He said bye.
Josh Peck
That's not true.
Robbie Hoffman
Robbie.
Josh Peck
He did not. He couldn't say bye. He's such an empath. He had to completely disappear.
Ben Saffir
Robbie, I don't know if you know this about Josh, but he's Richard Simmons number one fan. He took the news on the chin.
Robbie Hoffman
He took the news on the chin, people. You're glad we don't know more. You know, like the Mr. Rogers. So, Simmons, as we start uncovering the pedophilia ring, I don't know who's safe from that, so maybe it's better off you get out from there. Yes, I think Richard, may his memory be a blessing. I think there's a reason we didn't know more than we needed to know about him.
Josh Peck
I know plenty. He was great. Richard was. There's no. There's nothing there there except the fact that he never officially came out. And he probably was loveless, which is sad.
Ben Saffir
Josh, it's good that we don't know more about Richard.
Josh Peck
And we think his housekeeper Teresa might have been had her hands a little dirtied in his finish.
Robbie Hoffman
No, I don't think he fell downstairs.
Josh Peck
And he didn't go to the hospital.
Ben Saffir
It's good we don't know.
Robbie Hoffman
It's always good when we don't know what we don't know.
Josh Peck
Remember, it's alleged.
Robbie Hoffman
Unless, you know, I have said this, the better. Do not look into things. People are investigating. I'm like, investigate what?
Ben Saffir
Once they're dead? Once they're dead, I don't want to know anything. Well, let their memory be a blessing.
Ben Soffer
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Ben Saffir
He's.
Ben Soffer
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Aurora Culpo
Barely Filtered, hosted by me, Aurora Culpo, where my mess is my message and I'm here to share it all with you. Let's optimize our lives together and I'll make the mistakes so you don't have to Join me as I share TMI personal stories about navigating relationships, dating and mental health, all while breaking stigmas around topics like adhd, anxiety and depression. From messy mistakes to moments of growth, I'm here to support you on your journey towards healing and self discovery. Tune in every Wednesday for a mix of humor, vulnerability and raw honesty as I explore the ups and downs of living in this meat suit. Follow Barely Filtered wherever you listen to podcasts.
Josh Peck
So if you were a detective, if there was law and order, Crown Heights, and you were Mariska Hargitay, give us an episode. What are you. Are you saying. Forget it.
Ben Soffer
Yeah.
Robbie Hoffman
We're not looking into nothing.
Ben Saffir
No.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. You come to me with an issue, I go and I give you the. And not even, you know, in improv. You do. Yes. And I just go and. And that's it. That's the end of our investigation. We're not going to be looking any further into whatever the hell here.
Josh Peck
We'll role play. My sister's been missing since two days ago. We're really worried.
Robbie Hoffman
Why don't you leave her alone?
Josh Peck
My family's really worried. She comes home and she lives with us.
Robbie Hoffman
She doesn't want to live there no more. I think it's clear your sister went wherever she went. It's none of your business.
Josh Peck
Maybe you could just look into it. It's not like we're not going to.
Robbie Hoffman
Be looking into nothing.
Josh Peck
Okay.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm going to show you the door.
Josh Peck
Sure.
Robbie Hoffman
Right there.
Josh Peck
Thank you. Okay.
Robbie Hoffman
And we're actually taking in a lot of cases because we only spend 30 seconds on each.
Josh Peck
That's good.
Robbie Hoffman
That's actually very good. It's a good. It's a good, you know, quantity business. What was I saying with the ma.
Josh Peck
What? You were at the club.
Robbie Hoffman
So you get in. You can't believe you got in. And so my friends, they had drink, but I would. Because they paid for the cab or they paid for the me to get in. I would go up to like 40 year olds sitting with bottle service. Remember they had like the couch. I'd be like, fellas, what are we drinking?
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
I came in with, you know, with like just total confidence. It's like, you know, they're all pedophiles. Like, why don't they want eight hot girls to sit with them? And I'd like, you know, shimmy through, sit. I taking the orange juice or something. I wanted cranberry and I just helped myself to the grey goo, whatever I was doing. And if it was running low, I'd be like, you call yourself a man, Ria? Yeah. I didn't pay a penny. I didn't pay.
Josh Peck
More bottles now.
Robbie Hoffman
More bottles.
Josh Peck
Markup that you know because he's a Grey Groove's bottle, as we know, $60. But at the club it's 600. Do you have an issue with this?
Robbie Hoffman
None.
Josh Peck
This markup, you're okay with it? That you're okay with?
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, because you're not paying for the Grey Goose. You're paying for the well done sparklers. No, no, no. You're sitting in a couch.
Ben Saffir
You're paying for the table.
Robbie Hoffman
A seat in a club is worth a billion dollars. I gotta sit.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
I gotta sit. I gotta take a seat. Since a young kid, people are like, you go crazy. I'm like, mm, mm. I go in anywhere and I go, where can I sit? This is. I need to sit.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
I like the music, but I'm sitting. Occasionally I get up a song only if I know my seat is secured, and I'll grind my ass to somebody's semi. But that was it. I did.
Ben Saffir
But you have a nice seated dance.
Josh Peck
You give someone a semi.
Ben Saffir
Every Jewish girl has a nice seated dance. What's your seated dance like? One of the. You know what I mean?
Josh Peck
Yeah, yeah, just one of those.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm very Trump. Like, in my dance, when he's dancing, I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Josh Peck
Trump is bringing joy.
Robbie Hoffman
Let's get it.
Josh Peck
You can say, this dance is fun. This is. And then the point. Thumbs up point. I love that.
Robbie Hoffman
I love a thumbs up. Thumbs up. We're doing good.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
If I'm at a club and I thumbs you up, well, we're good. I'm going home with this, dude.
Josh Peck
They see the thumbs up and countries quake.
Ben Soffer
Dictators quake.
Ben Saffir
Did you see what happened on my zoom?
Robbie Hoffman
We saw it. We're acknowledging. We saw it very.
Josh Peck
Between a Canadian Jew and an American Jew. Howie Mandel and Alan Dershowitz. I don't know, but you know what I'm saying. Is there a difference?
Robbie Hoffman
Well, one is very smart, and I won't reveal which. You know what? I think there's a lot of differences in Jews now. I don't. You know what? This is gonna sound bad. I don't bat for Jews. I don't bat for anyone. You know what? I think we're not a monolith like anyone else. Like gay people, like any kind of people. We can all be different types of people. That's right. It's not like we're all the same. I think I probably have. You know, the chips I have only grow. I've noticed with age, people like, oh, you get. My chips. Get bigger. The cracks, you know, I can barely walk with these chips, okay? So the chip I have. Being a poor Jew in a rich community and then being asked to bat for the. It's like, bro, you left us starving.
Josh Peck
Right?
Robbie Hoffman
You know, I don't really. I think we've lost Yiddish kite. We've lost our way. There are conversations that we can't have publicly because they make us look bad or something. So then we don't have Them, even privately. And it's like we're not adhering to Yiddishkei. We could eradicate poverty within our own community like that. We have almost no poor people compared to the amount of wealth we have. And we don't even do that. And then we're on our high horse. That bothers me that we're not more self critical. Because you think the Jews were always self deprecating. We're known for that. But when push comes to shove, we do have a problem sometimes with greed, with money, with materialism and we've lost our way. We're not, we're not looking out for each other. I mean, I know people, I know landlords who up there, you know, it's like, hey bro, we're both Jewish. Can you give me. You own the building. You mind cutting me some slack? They don't. Jew to Jew doesn't help anymore. It barely does. It barely means anything. You're in a room with another Jew. It might not. Jews, especially in showbiz deals. Showbiz, I love that. It's hard for me to wrap my head around what a Jew. It's just like, hey, you're you, I'm me. And it's just, it's. It's hard for me to bat for a homogenous group of people. I'm very person to person and I will see. But I know, I know great Jews and I know some really shitty Jews and I grew up with shitty people and I grew up with great people.
Josh Peck
Yeah.
Robbie Hoffman
So you know, for me, Yiddishkite, one of the biggest Jewish Yiddishkeit souls that I know of. I speak to her often. My friend Ali Quint. Shout out to Ali. Her mother, who I believe was a convert or didn't grow up religious and kind of married into a more conservative family or whatever. She was originally, I think French Canadian. Hot as can be. She was the hottest mom in the school. Shout out to Tina, like she's still gorgeous. But she was the kind of girl who. Her whole goal was to marry a rich Jew. She would go. She moved to Montreal from a small Quebec town with this, this what I've heard with, with, with at 16 or 17 and was like only going to go to Dentistry or Dr. Balls at McGill at Nice Schools. And she met her father who was a periodontist, very successful. And she always was done up. She, she drove a little red car. You know the dream. She was so hot picking us up from school. Like we'd hop in the back of the car and she knew I was really poor. I went to school. I went on subsidy to this school, and she was like, the lead pack of the moms. There was a bunch of, like, PTA moms at this private Jewish school that were. I mean, this was their life. We had something. I don't know if I'm going on and on. You can stop me, but we had something. A couple.
Ben Saffir
No, it's good.
Robbie Hoffman
A couple times a year called Pizza Lunch. Where you would bring $2.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
And you didn't. You know, they had pizza. You didn't have your own lunch. You had pizza. And it normally went to breast cancer or something like that. And all the PTA moms, these eight, like, jappy, Jewish American princess. Not Japanese people. We love you. I love Japanese people.
Josh Peck
Love them.
Robbie Hoffman
I love the food. I'm interested in going to Japan. The flight seems long, but I'm going to look into it. So these moms, you know, Maybe there was 1500 kids in the school, and that day everybody got pizza. And every kid, but maybe 10 were rich, wealthy. You know, Jews who made it after the Holocaust and their kids are now born wealthy. And I would ask my mother, I would, like, try and, like, I'd go to my mother, like, in the morning. I knew it was pizza lunch. I'd be like, hey, Ma, looking good. Any way I can get couple dollars?
Josh Peck
Get out of my house.
Robbie Hoffman
Nice doing business with you. See you at.
Josh Peck
No pizza for Robbie.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. So I would bring my lunch the way that I was looked at. So we would come, we would file down. Everybody had to line up, go downstairs to the auditorium to collect your ticket and then go into the cafeteria and you get your pizza. I would shuffle with my bag of lunch.
Josh Peck
Tupperware of choles.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. Not even Tupperware. Plastic grocery bag. Okay. And I'm like. I would have to, like, go through the stations. They had, like, tickets going. It was like, you know, mayhem for them. And I'm like, oh, I don't. I don't have it. You know, I don't have $2. Have my own lunch, you know, so I'm, like, filing through. Allie's mom ran the dessert, the Popsicle stand. So you had six or seven moms lined up for the ticket exchange for the pizza. But then when you got into the cafeteria, when you were done your pizza, you had another ticket for your Popsicle. And she. And I was like, oh, my God. And she was my best friend. We sat together for lunch every day, just lovely. And her mother came and brought us Popsicles. And I'm like, oh, Tina, I Don't have a ticket, you know, I'm not going to steal.
Josh Peck
But Tina came through with that.
Robbie Hoffman
But Tina's like, don't worry about it.
Josh Peck
Kidding.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, and she would get me pizza and I always felt bad about it. Yeah, but it's like Tina is the only Yiddish kite in this fucking school. Looking back, you got 1500 kids with pizza. 7. Don't either. Pizza for everyone or no pizza at all. What are we doing?
Josh Peck
Well, I don't want to.
Ben Saffir
This is not. You go, Josh.
Josh Peck
I don't want to blast Ben, but Ben thinks that soup kitchens are silly because the homeless could serve themselves soup. Ben, do you want to expound?
Ben Saffir
Ok, you definitely took this in a weirder direction than I would have gone. But to respond to the soup kitchen call, I think that it's very self righteous when people are in soup kitchens. I think we should just give the people the food and not have the rich people feel really good about serving somebody soup. That's my call. That's my call. That's my call about the rich people serving soup. But back to what you were saying, Robbie, because I think it's very important. First of all, you said it in the beginning. This is not a Jewish problem. This is a human problem where we see people in need and we don't help them because we are Jewish and we should have started that. This is a wonderful Hanukkah episode. And I love that we're talking about this during Hanukkah. I love that we're talking about this. That because we are Jewish and because we have experienced some success, I think that we should always. I personally, like, I always try to help anybody that I can, but we have the power to help people. So I don't know what we're gonna do on this podcast, but I do love the idea of there are certainly poor Jews. We absolutely can help them and we should do something about it. And it's terrible.
Robbie Hoffman
And the thing is, we do do a lot. We should be. If we wanna be an example, be an example. Do the most.
Ben Saffir
Yes, be Yiddish.
Robbie Hoffman
Do the most. You know, I went to an amazing school on subsidy, so I'm not taking that. There are things, privileges being born into a Jewish community that were afforded to me that I know many of my counterparts in other communities did not have access to. So that means a lot to me. But we can do the most. We really can do the most. And it doesn't have to be through a foundation. We can have people, you know, something that I love to do now. My Mother. When we would. We were growing up, she was always clutching her purse when we were running from the subway to home or whatever. And one day she was just, you know, and she was. You know, we were always running and scuffling. Classic Jew. And she gave, like, $5 to a nun or somebody. Somebody from the Salvation army, somebody. And I'm like, you gave up five? I'm like, I thought we were tight. You're giving five. I thought we were tight. And she's like, sometimes when you're feeling tight, it's just good to remind yourself you're in a position to give.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
And so what I do. And now I try to, especially on Fridays, and I'm reluctant with it, but I hear my mother. Now that I'm feeling better, I'll. Like any homeless person. Anybody who's with me, I give them. I try and give the smallest denomination in my wallet. If I have cash, I get paid cash. Sometimes for standup, but sometimes I have 100 because I got 100 the night before for my set.
Josh Peck
Sure.
Robbie Hoffman
And I just give. And I just. I don't want to lose 100, but I'm like, wow, I have 100 to give. It is a reminder. Like, it's like, oh, it's so hard to part with a hundred or twenty or whatever's in my wallet, but I'm like, I have it to give now. Do you? Wait. It's that sort of. It's that sort of. That's why it's like, yeah. I'm very conflicted because I think we've lost our way and we need our Moses. Could be me to bring us back.
Ben Saffir
So in the spirit of Hanukkah, I would love to find a way to do something, because this is a very powerful conversation.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm Jews. Let's not go to.
Ben Saffir
So let's give money. No, no. So let's give money. So honestly, comment. Really comment below on Josh's YouTube. Literally five people that need $100 each because they can't afford a Hanukkah meal.
Josh Peck
We can't trust these schniers.
Robbie Hoffman
We can't even.
Ben Saffir
We can't vent these people. I can trust them. I can trust them. I can trust them. Literally.
Robbie Hoffman
Do any.
Ben Saffir
Anybody that tells me that they need $100 and is lying is going straight to hell anyways.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. We don't believe that they need it.
Josh Peck
The Jews don't believe in that.
Ben Saffir
Yes. Yes, we do.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. By the way, we don't really. We don't know. I think the Jews best answer for everything is. We don't know. We don't have such good numbers because it's not like, are you going, listen, you know, Garden of Eden could be nice. We just don't know.
Ben Saffir
Either you're in God's good graces or you're in God's underbelly. And the underbelly is a version of hell, if you believe in the underbelly.
Robbie Hoffman
So I do think that we could be. If we want to be an example, let's be an amazing example. Let's do it. But we've definitely. We have idolatry and materialism, and I'm. No, you know, I'm into that. I love materialism. I love.
Josh Peck
You have a Porsche?
Robbie Hoffman
Yes, I have 2007 base model Porsche Cayman.
Josh Peck
Fancy.
Robbie Hoffman
It needs a new water pump, a catalytic converter, and some.
Josh Peck
You have a Porsche guy. You have a Porsche person.
Robbie Hoffman
No, I have multiple people. You know what? Having an old car, you have to enjoy a tinkering lifestyle. I think I enjoy a little bit of a tinkering lifestyle.
Josh Peck
Yes. You like the. You have the alarms that come on on the dash.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, yeah. You know, there's always a light.
Josh Peck
There's always a light with those cars. It's not going to be lightless.
Robbie Hoffman
This is not a light free car.
Ben Soffer
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We are working so hard. We're podcasting, we're acting, we're selling spritz.
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Ben Saffir
So folks, that's it.
Ben Soffer
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Ben Saffir
Good. Guys, can we talk food? Are you a foodie?
Robbie Hoffman
Yes. No. I mean, in the way that I'm a human. I like food.
Ben Saffir
Okay. Can we. Can we talk? Like, top three Hanukkah dishes?
Robbie Hoffman
See, I. You know what? You guys are gonna be like. She hates. I don't. Jewish food. Not great.
Josh Peck
Because it sucks.
Robbie Hoffman
It's not. We don't. We're not known for our food.
Josh Peck
We are. We're like the British.
Ben Saffir
I think that Hanukkah dishes are better than most. I think we make a delicious latke.
Robbie Hoffman
I don't care for latkes. I don't know.
Ben Saffir
You had latke with creme fraiche and caviar.
Robbie Hoffman
I mean, maybe I'll try that. Are you going to make. Are you inviting me? Is this an invite?
Ben Soffer
I'll. I'll make it for you.
Ben Saffir
Yes, I will.
Robbie Hoffman
Wow.
Josh Peck
Wow.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. I got to get to New York.
Ben Saffir
I will make it in my kitchen. A crispy latke.
Robbie Hoffman
Got to get to New York.
Josh Peck
What else is New York? Suf. No jelly. You don't like fried, huh?
Robbie Hoffman
I don't love fried.
Josh Peck
You're not a fried. What's your. What's your go to.
Robbie Hoffman
I love Chinese food.
Josh Peck
Oh, I love. That's great.
Robbie Hoffman
This is a fun Panda express. I do.
Josh Peck
So do I.
Robbie Hoffman
That's delicious. I love Japanese food. I love Indian food.
Josh Peck
Oh, I like. Love speaking my language.
Robbie Hoffman
Ethiopian food. Have you. I love. With the hands. You know, you understand why people went to war for spices. With the Indian food. With the Indian or the Ethiopian, you're like, there's nothing but a lentil. But, like, what have they done to the lentil? It's a spice.
Ben Saffir
I popped a turmeric right before I came. It helps with my brain inflammation.
Robbie Hoffman
See? Yeah, you do have a big head. Something's inflamed. I do.
Josh Peck
He's worried about the fluorinated water. This is his new thing.
Robbie Hoffman
What is it?
Ben Soffer
Big brain.
Josh Peck
Fluoride in the water.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, there's no fluoride.
Josh Peck
There's fluoride in the water. It's what keeps our teeth healthy. It's been this incredible thing that's been the last 60 years.
Ben Saffir
Says you.
Josh Peck
For overall.
Ben Saffir
Overall health.
Josh Peck
And this guy is on his meshugana Anti fluoride kick. Robert Kennedy.
Ben Saffir
Let me.
Ben Soffer
Let me explain.
Ben Saffir
There is nothing more Jewish than questioning. There's nothing more Jewish than questioning. I Don't think it affected my brain. It could have affected my brain. To take anything in this life as an absolute is completely un Jewish and stupid.
Robbie Hoffman
No, I don't want to know.
Ben Saffir
All I want to say is we don't know fluoride for sure. I don't know her. I got fluoride plastered on my teeth. There's fluoride in all of the water. Could big papa government have been looking out for us?
Ben Soffer
Sure.
Ben Saffir
Could they have been trying to kill us? Possibly.
Robbie Hoffman
Thousand.
Ben Saffir
That's all I'm saying.
Robbie Hoffman
No, that's all my issue with it. I'm totally with you, Josh.
Ben Saffir
You don't want to question anything. You don't want to question anything.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm worried about it.
Josh Peck
It's trendy. Ben is on trend. Worrying now in the news. This has been a thing that's been talked about.
Robbie Hoffman
It's catching on for forever.
Josh Peck
Nobody cares. It's one of the most common elements in nature and it's the reason why people have healthier oral health.
Robbie Hoffman
I will go on the record to say there is much too much fluoride in our water. I'm convinced.
Ben Saffir
Thank you, Robbie.
Josh Peck
I am convinced it's nuts. I am convinced you deserve each other.
Robbie Hoffman
I am totally convinced.
Josh Peck
I just love that. This is a guy with respect who you have benefited from, like, big pharmacy for being overweight your whole life. Pharma came in and helped you tremendously. But it's like you pick and you cherry pick.
Robbie Hoffman
We don't know you cherry pick your science.
Ben Saffir
I do. I cherry pick everything in life. Just like Robby cherry picks the way she's Jewish. I cherry pick the way that I'm Jewish.
Robbie Hoffman
We're all cherry picking.
Ben Saffir
I cherry pick everything.
Josh Peck
It's nuts.
Ben Soffer
That's the equivalent to.
Ben Saffir
Josh, you're not going to cherry pick.
Robbie Hoffman
Learn about cherry picking.
Ben Saffir
How do we not cherry pick?
Josh Peck
It's nuts.
Robbie Hoffman
It's a lesson.
Ben Saffir
Okay, I have a question.
Robbie Hoffman
Cherry. So we knew how to cherry pick.
Ben Saffir
You're going to a restaurant, Josh, and you're ordering everything on the menu. You're not picking what you want.
Robbie Hoffman
Josh, give it to us straight.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
You're ordering everything, Everything on the menu.
Josh Peck
Do I trust the chef?
Robbie Hoffman
That kind of money do I trust you're not missing. What are you doing?
Josh Peck
Do I trust the chef?
Ben Saffir
One item you don't want.
Robbie Hoffman
Is it omakase?
Josh Peck
It could be.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, omakase is great because you think you're eating one piece by one piece, you're going, I'll never get full. Boy, are you full.
Josh Peck
It sneaks up on you.
Ben Saffir
Stuffed.
Josh Peck
Stuffed up on you.
Robbie Hoffman
You know what it reminds me? In university, we had frosh and they gave us a little shot glass, like a little beer. It looked like a beer mug. It was this big, cute. I love miniatures. Okay? And then you wore it on a necklace. And every time they called something, you had a little shot of beer. And I'm like, we're never going to get loaded. You know, when you're 19, you just want to get like a beer flight. But it was like a shot of beer a minute for an hour, all vomiting.
Josh Peck
Wow.
Robbie Hoffman
Never been so drunk in my life. And it was just little shtickle McNickle MC. And then before you know it, awful.
Ben Saffir
Wow.
Robbie Hoffman
That's what omakase is for me. It's the same experience. You have a piece of rice, a piece of rice, a piece of rice, a piece of rice. Before you know it, you're running until you're stuffed.
Josh Peck
What's it like having Hanukkah with nine siblings?
Robbie Hoffman
Hanukkah was pretty traumatic for me, I'll say, because my birthday is Hanukkah. My birthday always fell on one of the days of Hanukkah or around Hanukkah, December birthday. And my mother would give me $20 for both my birthday and Hanukkah. But it's like. I was like. She's like, it's double because it's your birthday. But I'm like, but then it should be $40 because everybody gets $20.
Josh Peck
Of course.
Robbie Hoffman
So do you know what double?
Ben Soffer
Like, I'm like, wait, all of your.
Ben Saffir
Siblings got 20 and you got 20 for Hanukkah and your birthday?
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. Well, she goes, well, this is for Hanukkah and your birthday. And I'm like, but they're all getting 20 for Hanukkah.
Ben Soffer
Not fair.
Ben Saffir
Not fair.
Robbie Hoffman
This is, like, not how double works. This is half.
Josh Peck
It's crazy. Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
I'm like, teaching Basic. Well, that's double. And the birthday card, you know, so. And she would maybe get us for a family. So Everybody got like, $20. And for family, she would get us like, a new board game where you get Risk or you'd get Monopoly, but the Risk, my brother Lavy would make you play till like four in the morning till he owned everything. And it's like, let us go to bed. We don't want to. And my mother would come in the kitchen, like, late night, and, you know, you have off school. And she's like, oh, good, the kids are playing and we're like, ma, please, please let him have Russia. He can take whatever he wants. We. I don't even really know how to play the game. I remember being like, okay, I guess I lost eight horse. Like, he would move the pieces. And then before you know it, you know, you're stuck in, like, Kazakhstan with one guy. And I'm like, I don't even want Kazakhstan.
Ben Saffir
That is my wife. My wife cheats at every board game. She's never lost. You know what her favorite TV show is? Jeopardy. You know, every single night we watch Jeopardy, she gets at least 35 rights. Wow, she's a genius. Yeah. Many I get right.
Robbie Hoffman
It's very hard. Jeopardy.
Josh Peck
I know, but this guy's talking about fluoride. He gets 6 right on Jeopardy. And we gotta listen.
Ben Saffir
Josh is very, very worried.
Robbie Hoffman
You know what you need?
Ben Saffir
It's gonna collapse.
Robbie Hoffman
You need the scene from White man can Jump where she can jump. She happened to know letter. You know, foods that begin with the letter Q. If you get onto Jeopardy. And they have a fluoride category, you're gonna fucking sweep. And I can't wait to see it.
Ben Saffir
I'm gonna sweep.
Josh Peck
But he doesn't know anything.
Robbie Hoffman
You go right there for 200, please. For 400. For 600. He just saw a tweet fucking double on fluoride.
Josh Peck
We're having a neurologist come in to explain his memory loss.
Ben Saffir
Here's what I know, Josh. All I know is that it's good to question.
Robbie Hoffman
Good to question.
Josh Peck
Good.
Robbie Hoffman
I've always said that he's questioning, you know, there's nothing I don't believe.
Ben Saffir
I question everything.
Robbie Hoffman
I question everything and I believe everything. And it's, you know, it's. It's kind of like it's as crazy that we're here living on the planet, that we're not plugged into the wall, I don't have battery. That there would be an afterlife of any kind. There's nothing I don't believe you know, And I question all of it because I don't know anything. But the only thing I do know is that there's too much fluoride in the water. I'll say that that is the reason.
Josh Peck
Why we have oral health to begin with. Why don't you go to Britain and.
Ben Saffir
Take a good look at those teeth, by the way?
Robbie Hoffman
You have beautiful teeth, right?
Josh Peck
Because of the fluoride. He had fluoride sealant as a child. He was almost going to be a dentist. He went to the shoot.
Ben Saffir
I want you to know that you have beautiful teeth. Robbie.
Robbie Hoffman
You know what? I really do. They do ugly.
Josh Peck
They're not.
Robbie Hoffman
You have terrible teeth.
Josh Peck
My teeth are excellent. My teeth are excellent. I know.
Robbie Hoffman
I just have an underbite that gives.
Josh Peck
Me a bit of a lip.
Robbie Hoffman
You have wonderful.
Josh Peck
God bless you, Robbie Hopkins.
Ben Saffir
I wish I could give you both a big holiday hug.
Robbie Hoffman
Same as well.
Ben Soffer
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Prolon. Did you know that there's a nutrition plan that doesn't just help you lose weight, but actually has been shown to lower your biological age score? It's called Prolon by El Nutra. And here's the craziest part. It's a fast that includes food. Fasting is not for everyone. Okay? But I understand the benefits of fasting. And for those where fasting might be rather daunting, you need the benefits of fasting. So you're going to need prolong. Okay? And here is Prolon, a revolutionary plant based nutrition program that nourishes the body while making cells believe they're fasting. Okay. Researched and developed for decades at the University of Southern California Longevity Institute and backed by leading US Medical centers, Prolon helps promote healthy blood sugar, support cardiovascular health and reduce abdominal fat. But Prolon isn't a diet. Prolon is science. Science based on Nobel prize winning discoveries in medicine. And this all starts with the Prolon five day program. Snacks, soups and beverages, all designed to keep your body in a fasting state. It's unlike anything you've ever experienced. Again, folks, I've done Prolon. I've done it and I like fasting. But this is even better because you get to eat and still get the same benefits. But I've done their five day program and it makes me feel great because having your body in a fasting state, I don't know, I just think better, I operate better when my body thinks that I'm fasting something that is not unique to me, clearly. And if you've never experienced that before, I would highly recommend that you try it for yourself. And it's no wonder why thousands of doctors now recommend Prolon to support healthy blood sugar and cardiovascular health. Because this stuff really works. So right now, Prolon is offering good guys listeners 15% off their five day nutrition program go to prolonlife.com goodguys that's P-R-O-L-O-N-L-I-F-E.com goodguys for this special offer. That's prolonlife.com goodguYS this episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Built Rewards. Folks, I'm already dreaming of a warm weather getaway and I love using points for travel. And I'm always looking for more ways to earn points towards my next flight. So here's a life hack for you. BILT lets you earn points on rent payments and redeem them towards flights, hotels, and a lot more. One of your biggest investments should obviously get you more than just a roof over your head. Let me explain. If you're a renter, I'd start taking advantage of BILT if I were you. Here's the thing. We earn points on groceries, travel, and practically everything else we buy. But we should also be earning points on rent, one of our biggest monthly expenses. It only makes sense. BILT changed the game by letting renters earn high value points on rent and around their neighborhood. There's no cost to join bilt and as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and on your everyday spending. BILT points can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines and even the ones you haven't heard of. There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world. You can redeem your BILT points towards points can also be redeemed towards a future rent payment and unique experiences that only BILT members can access. So if you're not earning points on rent, my question is, why not start earning points on rent you're already paying by going to joinbuilt.comgoodguys that's J O I N B I L T.comgoodguys make.
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Josh Peck
Robby, can you. I thought it'd be a fun game.
Robbie Hoffman
Yes.
Josh Peck
Can you give us a couple fun Yiddish words and see if we know the words?
Robbie Hoffman
No, that's too gay. I see. I don't like the gayification and the cutesiness.
Josh Peck
But I learned from you. I learned chas v'shalom.
Robbie Hoffman
I don't care.
Josh Peck
It's wonderful.
Robbie Hoffman
So then keep chas v'shalom. I should play such a game.
Josh Peck
It's so fun.
Robbie Hoffman
No, I don't want to be cute.
Josh Peck
I did bring kipas and a menorah for the end. Is that okay?
Robbie Hoffman
I'm looking at you for help. I'm like, we're.
Ben Saffir
Okay, fine. We'll play a different game. No, we're playing a different game.
Robbie Hoffman
Is it?
Ben Saffir
You are?
Josh Peck
It's really on trend.
Robbie Hoffman
Is it?
Josh Peck
No, we're converting people left and right. I'm sure of it.
Ben Saffir
We are. We're going to think of a different game.
Robbie Hoffman
No, we can do the menorah. That's good because I may not light. I don't always have a chance to light. I do love to light.
Josh Peck
We're not allowed to light. Light anything in here. But we'll do it in our.
Robbie Hoffman
We're going to break the rule and we're going to do it.
Josh Peck
I didn't bring a match.
Robbie Hoffman
We're going to find something.
Josh Peck
We're going to find an open flame.
Robbie Hoffman
Olivia. That's it.
Ben Saffir
Stop it. Olivia.
Robbie Hoffman
You. Do you think you're going to listen to the ghettos? They weren't allowed to like the menorah. You think they said we're not allowed to like them? Menorah. They fucking.
Josh Peck
They could have.
Robbie Hoffman
They broke the law.
Josh Peck
Oh, you know what they were doing in Berkow?
Robbie Hoffman
Yes. They sang their songs. You know what they were doing in. Dear Media says we can't light a match in the big office building. I don't give a fuck. Get the menorah up. And we are going to.
Josh Peck
Should we do it now?
Robbie Hoffman
Yes.
Josh Peck
Okay, we'll do it now.
Ben Saffir
By the way, I hope Dear Media said we can't light a menorah because.
Ben Soffer
Then we can sue him for money.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. Get the menorah. Get the menorah.
Josh Peck
I bought this in Canada, in British Columbia.
Robbie Hoffman
It's beautiful, actually.
Josh Peck
Thank you.
Robbie Hoffman
This is quite nice.
Josh Peck
God bless you.
Ben Saffir
And in case you're not watching on YouTube.
Robbie Hoffman
Wow. These are also very nice lighting.
Ben Saffir
A beautiful menorah. I brought a keepa.
Josh Peck
I thought we could wear kippas.
Robbie Hoffman
No, I think it's right to left.
Ben Saffir
It's right to left?
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah.
Ben Saffir
Like we read Hebrew.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay.
Josh Peck
Olivia, do you want to wear a kippah?
Robbie Hoffman
I would love to keep. No. What is this? What are we doing? Reconstructionists. What are we doing here?
Josh Peck
This is crazy.
Ben Saffir
We're doing what Josh wants to do.
Ben Soffer
Robbie.
Robbie Hoffman
We're all our own type of Jew.
Ben Saffir
Robbie. We're all our own type of Jew. Josh believes women wear kiki.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay, let's go.
Ben Saffir
We'll do Shekhianu. Because we haven't met before in person.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. And so what was the first prayer? Why did you do.
Ben Saffir
And this is the last one to questioning everything.
Robbie Hoffman
This is the pro tip.
Josh Peck
This is unreal. This is fabulous.
Ben Saffir
Well done.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, you sick. Okay. And you know what? Dear Media, we lit a menorah. We made history here.
Josh Peck
Yeah, we did you hear that? The Bostic.
Ben Saffir
We did If Hitler could see us now. Thank God. Yes, thank God. Do you know Robby, who invented Fanta?
Robbie Hoffman
Is it a Jew?
Ben Saffir
No, it was. It was Nazi Germany. They couldn't import Coke, they couldn't import Coca Cola. So they made Fanta with.
Robbie Hoffman
I like Fanta. And I like everything the Nazis made.
Ben Saffir
By the way, they made great stuff.
Robbie Hoffman
They made great stuff. They were very smart people. Listen, I happen to be a German Jew, last name Hoffman. So I like the. You know, the Germans are. They happen to be a very capable people. I think that is not disputed.
Josh Peck
Yes, they were very efficient.
Robbie Hoffman
Hashem threw my Amico.
Ben Saffir
How good?
Josh Peck
I mean, come on.
Robbie Hoffman
Could this be any more Jewish? You gotta give credit to the Germans.
Ben Saffir
Of course we do. Unbelievable cars.
Robbie Hoffman
They did a good Holocaust too. It was very great.
Ben Saffir
They're great at organizing. They can organize.
Robbie Hoffman
They're very good at organizing. And they make amazing clothing. Their uniforms were hot. Hugo Boss.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
I mean, you see the Nazis now in their khakis and their polos. These incels. Terrible, terrible Nazis were the most fuckable dudes.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
They're like, you know what I mean? This was a classy affair. They're buttoned up. They got the tie clip, pocket square. Let's go now.
Ben Saffir
They're so ugly. These neo Nazis are so ugly. Hitler would be so Nazi. And how ugly they were.
Robbie Hoffman
They're like, get out of here. You call yourself a Nazi? The Nazis would roll over if they saw what was marching in Charlottesville.
Ben Saffir
They would. Ugly, yuck.
Josh Peck
No doubt.
Ben Saffir
Should we do our. What are you, nuts? Moment of the week?
Josh Peck
I think we should. I think there's one. So we have, before our final segment, we do something called a speak pipe where people call in and ask us for advice, please. They want us to teach them, to help them. So we have one here, and it is from someone wonderful and their name is Kara.
Kara
Hi, Josh and Ben. I have a question for you. I've been married to my husband for about five years and I am struggling to figure out how to deal with this situation. His mother is an amputee. She lost her leg in a car accident in college. Luckily, she has lived a relatively normal and healthy life since then. She had two boys. Everything has been as healthy as it can be. But they all make fun of her. They do it in a joking way and she laughs back. But they joke that, like at physical therapy, she gets, she should only be charged half price when she gets a pedicure. If she gets a pedicure, they should only charge half price. She should get pants Half price. There's a story about her falling into the ocean one time and that's hilarious. They keep laughing about it. Some kid on the beach stole her leg one time. All of these things, they seem funny, but then in reality they're not. And I don't know what to do. How would you handle this? Laugh along or say something. Thanks.
Robbie Hoffman
Nothing.
Ben Saffir
You're asking the wrong room.
Robbie Hoffman
Nothing. Why do you have to. Nothing to do with you. Nothing she can say. Are you taking away her agency? Do you think she's not capable of saying. She's been through so much. She lost a leg. She had two boys on one leg. Believe me, she's stronger than you think, okay? And laughing is a coping. And if she's fine with it, then why aren't you? Don't meddle where you don't have to, because one day you're going to have to. And you want to save your medal? I save a medal.
Ben Saffir
And please stop fighting other people's battles. Okay?
Robbie Hoffman
That's it.
Ben Saffir
Please, please stop it.
Robbie Hoffman
And it is funny.
Ben Saffir
I totally agree with you. And it's probably funny for her, otherwise she. What is she supposed to do? Cry? No, it's funny.
Robbie Hoffman
It's funny. You know what my mother, I just talked about. My mother was overweight my whole life and she always just laughed at fat people until I did not understand why. I said, but Ma, you're fat. She likes to laugh at fat people.
Josh Peck
Good for her.
Robbie Hoffman
It made her feel where she was so judged in society and every store she went into, she was kind of ignored. And we had to see that. And so when she could laugh at somebody like her, when she could be self deprecating, it helped her. I think in a way, my mother.
Josh Peck
Growing up, she always. My mother was a bigger person and she always, when she would talk about someone, she'd be like, did you sink, Doris? She put on 20 pounds. Horrible. I'm like, you think anyone's saying that about you, Ma?
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. No, it's like me. It's like people accuse me of being homophobic. You better believe it. You think I like me? What's wrong with you right now? It's embarrassing. What are we doing? I have to cut my off. It's insane.
Josh Peck
Sure.
Robbie Hoffman
Is that a normal experience? So, yeah, I like to see other top surgeries with bad results. I go look at that result. This is a coping mechanism. It's a self deprecation that we should embrace. You know, unless she has said something. Unless she has said something.
Josh Peck
By the way, I need to look into This. I might need a little bit of a top surgery. And I need. I want.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, I went to the best. You know, there's certain things. I spent $8,000 on my surgery. I believe it's 12,000 now. There's certain things people. Yeah, people tell me, oh, you're gonna. You can get top surgery in Minnesota for 2,600. I go, there's certain things you do not buy. On sale. Surgery and a parach. You do not buy on sale.
Josh Peck
Yeah, don't buy.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. The parachute is half off. You got a question? How is it missing a string? What's it? You don't want a parachute on sale.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. There's certain things you want the best price. You want the most expensive of.
Josh Peck
Okay, good. I'm scared.
Robbie Hoffman
No expenses spared. Yeah, good. Because normalized top surgery for dudes.
Josh Peck
I went. I saw a guy at the gym who had it beautiful. He got it in Mexico.
Robbie Hoffman
Oh, he did it. Good.
Josh Peck
I mean, this looked like a proper pec, you know?
Robbie Hoffman
No, you have pecs under the fat. If you have fat. You know, tits are just mammary glands and fat, you know, they're just. That's what. That's what their purpose is, you know? I think it's so the baby has, like a fun time. Squishing.
Josh Peck
No, they're awesome.
Robbie Hoffman
I don't know.
Josh Peck
They're awesome.
Robbie Hoffman
But under that, I have pecs, right? Women. All you have pectoral muscles that connect your shoulders. You know, it really is. Fat grows over that. So if you have pecs under now, some people are deflated because they don't have the pec under. Or they have. Everybody has pecs, but they're not as defined as you might like. But then you could work on that.
Josh Peck
Great. No, I can bench press. I'm in. Okay, good.
Robbie Hoffman
That's it.
Josh Peck
Something to look forward to.
Robbie Hoffman
Something to look forward to.
Josh Peck
Good, good.
Ben Saffir
But to that speak, Piper, to wrap it up. Keep your keeper. Mind your business.
Robbie Hoffman
Mind your business.
Josh Peck
A nice business.
Ben Saffir
Mind your business.
Josh Peck
The ambiance, it's a gorgeous menorah. Lead us into our what are you nuts? Moment.
Ben Saffir
So what are you nuts? Is our gripe with people, places and things. You should be very good at this. You're walking down the street as you are and looking at people, and you're like, what are you fucking nuts? Like, what are you doing? I was recently in the airport. Ran off the plane, went to the bathroom. I'm in the urinal. It's a packed urinal. All of a sudden, I see the person Next to me, peek his head up and tuck it over the side, looking straight down at my cock. Had literally. No, he didn't care whatsoever. Peeked right in. And that to me is. What are you nuts? Keep your eyes off of my penis.
Robbie Hoffman
By the way, when I'm at the urinal, something drew him there. Maybe, by the way. By the way, maybe you're looking at it half, half, half empty. When it's half full, you think, oh, yeah, big time.
Ben Saffir
Okay, all right.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. You say you. I wish you could find this man and thank him for such a compliment. Something caught his eye, probably was your penis. And he was impressed.
Ben Saffir
Fine, but how do we know he was impressed? Maybe he was upset.
Robbie Hoffman
You think he was upset?
Ben Saffir
No, I think he was impressed.
Robbie Hoffman
Now listen, we don't know which way. That is the truth. Was he looking at it in the way we look at a crash? I don't know.
Ben Saffir
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
Oh, so you're looking at it in a way like, oh, okay, good for him.
Ben Soffer
Well.
Ben Saffir
Well, he's still nuts, but I see your point.
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah.
Josh Peck
Love it. My, what are you, nuts? Moment of the week are doctors who take vacations. This is nuts. This is unacceptable.
Robbie Hoffman
You are a doctor. It is like, come on, you got to be on call.
Ben Soffer
Always.
Robbie Hoffman
Pager. Pager.
Ben Saffir
Always.
Josh Peck
My.
Ben Soffer
Always.
Josh Peck
My sister in law, God bless. Baruch Hashem is giving birth today or tomorrow.
Robbie Hoffman
Oh, my God.
Josh Peck
Wonderful. Let me tell you. And now she, amongst other wonderful women in my life, are dealing with this. Their planned birth happens to be. When their doctors go into Club Med, they're going to. They.
Robbie Hoffman
She's giving birth. They need a doctor. What's going on? These doctors, this is crazy.
Ben Saffir
They either bring in another doctor or they induce early. It's actually incredibly fucked up. My sister, the same thing happened to her when she was born. Delivered a week early. They induced my mom.
Ben Soffer
Fun fact.
Josh Peck
What are you nuts?
Ben Saffir
Fucked up.
Robbie Hoffman
What? They're playing God all of a sudden.
Josh Peck
Nine months of trust and then you gotta go.
Ben Saffir
Where you going?
Robbie Hoffman
Santa Barbara. They need a doctor. The doctor's gotta come back. Anything can happen with the umbilical cord. With her blood press? Yes. I mean, there's many things. It's very fickle.
Josh Peck
Preeclampsia.
Robbie Hoffman
Preeclampsia. It's very fickle.
Ben Saffir
Yes. No, good.
Robbie Hoffman
And it's two lives all of a sudden.
Josh Peck
By the way, can we just say.
Ben Saffir
Never mind.
Robbie Hoffman
When the baby comes out. Maybe he needs something.
Josh Peck
I've had two children myself. It's an unbelievable symphony that happens in that delivery room.
Robbie Hoffman
Forget it.
Josh Peck
It's wonderful, by the way. Can we just touch on for 30 seconds? Cause I think you're like me, Robby, how much better Los Angeles is than New York.
Robbie Hoffman
They're both dumps. One's a shithole, one's a dump.
Josh Peck
All right, fair enough.
Robbie Hoffman
Here's the thing. The whole thing is awful. Okay? New York is good if you're really rich.
Josh Peck
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
You know, and it's good to go back and forth. I love living in la. I'm also the kind of person that I like to drive. I didn't drive growing up. I love to drive now. It gives me. Keeps me a connection with my father. I have no relationship with my father. He's still hasidic. But he loved Porsche and he loved. That's why I have an old Porsche I don't really even know about really other cars. But I always had an estrangement. My father, but I always felt like him. He was the few times that I met him. And he was so funny and. And charismatic and very much like me. Many of the ways that I am now is because of him. And I realized I could still have a relationship with him by the ways that I am like him. I have a very strong relationship with him because I get to enjoy the ways that I'm like him. And I feel it a relationship living on in me. And that's why something. Every time I get in my Porsche, I see him in my. It's just nice. It's just. It's a way to have a relationship within me. So that's, you know, so I don't know if that, you know, so that's why I like la. My father's from Sandy. There's a way that part of me is more connected with him, and I have kind of a more robust relationship with him in the ways that I am like him and get to enjoy those moments. But New York is. It's the greatest city in the world. So you got that. You know, as far as cities go, that's a city do not bring me. People are bringing me. I don't know what kind of cities people are naming. You know, like, it's okay, Robbie, you're.
Ben Saffir
Gonna come to New York. I'm gon make you latkes. We're going to rent a Porsche and we're going to drive around eating our latkes in the Porsche.
Robbie Hoffman
I can't wait. I can't wait.
Ben Saffir
Yeah, beautiful. Do you have a what are you nuts?
Josh Peck
Moment?
Robbie Hoffman
Do I have a what are you nuts? Moment? Well, you guys got to prep Yours and everything. So this week. What happened to me this week? Let me just look at my cal because then I'll know. Because believe me, I have at least 10 of these a day. But it's hard to remember when you have so many. Okay. Wow. Well, my. What are you Nazis about? This is this morning. How do you have somebody on a podcast and you don't send a reminder? Come a day or two before.
Ben Saffir
You didn't.
Josh Peck
I didn't real. I thought you. Because I thought we sent you a cow.
Robbie Hoffman
Come up. A cow. Where do these cows go? Nobody came an email. Not the cow.
Josh Peck
Automatically.
Ben Saffir
God bless you that you're here. You're so professional.
Josh Peck
Thank you.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. It's amazing because I go, is this on? I go, is this thing on? I have to find him. I'm finding him. I'm going through my DMs. Do I have an email? If you are booking anything three weeks ago week of send a follow up.
Josh Peck
So. Right. So true.
Robbie Hoffman
Just a reminder, you're in this week. We cannot wait. Is there anything you'd like to drink?
Josh Peck
I've thought about it a lot. I've been thinking about it.
Robbie Hoffman
All right.
Josh Peck
You're right.
Ben Saffir
Just so you know, Robbie, Josh has been talking nonstop about this episode too.
Robbie Hoffman
Not to. I hope I lift up beyond. Okay. Yeah. We should look into and continue to fight to reduce fluoride in the water. I really believe strongly about this.
Ben Saffir
Yes.
Josh Peck
It truly won't.
Ben Saffir
Everybody just my one Hanukkah message. Everybody. Don't ever let anybody tell you that you're not Jewish enough. Okay. Robby said it first. I said it as well. I think picking and choosing is fantastic across any religion. That's all. And you should be who you are and you should help the poor people.
Robbie Hoffman
But people tell you you're too Jewish. There's such a thing. Calm down.
Ben Soffer
Sure.
Ben Saffir
Yes.
Robbie Hoffman
Calm down.
Josh Peck
It's a little over the top.
Robbie Hoffman
Let's relax. It's not excellent. Let's relax. The timing isn't great. Let's relax. Happy Hanukkah to everyone. Wishing everybody just abundance and safety and fulfillment.
Josh Peck
Do you want to do the Yiddish game?
Robbie Hoffman
Should we sing a song?
Ben Saffir
We'll give you a treat.
Robbie Hoffman
Okay.
Josh Peck
It's too much.
Robbie Hoffman
I don't know why Yiddish and gay comes so close to me.
Josh Peck
It's very close.
Robbie Hoffman
It's too close.
Josh Peck
Why are all the men so feminized in Judaism? It's because our mothers are so tough. Again, monolith generalization.
Robbie Hoffman
No. I think we're a weak people.
Josh Peck
Okay.
Ben Saffir
I think that I got a terrible bout of diarrhea starting yesterday, and I don't even know why.
Robbie Hoffman
It's weak. Like, I don't know. And I've taught. I don't know how anyone lasted more than a day in the Holocaust. I would have been an afternoon in the Holocaust. No coffee. I'd be like, I don't think I can move any bricks today. I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you. I just. And you take away my glasses. I'm like, but I can't see nothing. Like, I don't know. Help me help you. Help me help you.
Josh Peck
Gustav. Help me help you.
Robbie Hoffman
Help me help you, please.
Ben Saffir
Robby, you are just the best. Thank you so much for joining us.
Robbie Hoffman
Adore you folks. Adore you folks.
Ben Saffir
This episode is 5 stars. Otherwise, what are you not listen to us.
Robbie Hoffman
Positive.
Ben Soffer
Qualify Apple.
Ben Saffir
No, we take the negative 2. Engagement's great. Spotify Apple, wherever you get your podcasts, Watch us on YouTube, share our clip. Follow Robbie Hoffman on Instagram.
Josh Peck
She's a date.
Robbie Hoffman
Plug your podcast too far, which the New York Times calls addictive, is back. It's very fickle. We're coming back when I want to come back. We're not going to be every week. We're going to be hopefully every second week, maybe every week. I'm keeping you on your toes. Okay. Too far. Pod. Follow me on everything. I'm all over and I got some exciting news dropping very soon.
Josh Peck
Sam, I'm in the rich kids club. I'm on your page.
Robbie Hoffman
Thank you so much. We really appreciate that.
Ben Saffir
So make sure to follow Robby on Instagram so you don't miss all of our cool shit going on. Happy Hanukkah Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.
Robbie Hoffman
Can't wait.
Ben Saffir
Beautiful, Robby. Thank you.
Robbie Hoffman
So fun.
Aurora Culpo
Please note that this episode may contain.
Robbie Hoffman
Paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products.
Aurora Culpo
Or services referred to in this episode.
Good Guys Podcast: A HANUKKAH EXTRAVAGANZA with Robby Hoffman!
Hosts: Josh Peck, Ben Saffir, and Ben Soffer
Guest: Robby Hoffman
Release Date: December 16, 2024
In this special Hanukkah episode of the Good Guys podcast, hosts Josh Peck, Ben Saffir, and Ben Soffer welcome comedian and writer Robby Hoffman. The conversation kicks off with playful banter about the distinct boroughs of New York City, setting a lively and humorous tone for the episode.
Notable Quote:
Robby Hoffman [00:30]: "Manhattan is New York, by the way."
Robby Hoffman shares insights into his upbringing in a traditional Orthodox Jewish household, being one of ten siblings. He discusses his gradual shift away from strict observance while retaining certain cultural and religious practices. Robby reflects on the impact of his family's move to Montreal and how it influenced his religious and personal identity.
Notable Quote:
Robby Hoffman [04:42]: "I'm not an animal. I mean, there's certain things... it's a spectrum."
Robby recounts his unconventional stint working at McDonald's alongside his best friend Shani. Opting to focus solely on cash register duties rather than kitchen work, Robby humorously describes the friction this caused with his coworkers. His candid storytelling highlights his sharp wit and unique approach to workplace dynamics.
Notable Quote:
Robby Hoffman [08:20]: "We were very hot. I was very good at the time. I was a secret lesbian, but using men when I needed to."
The conversation shifts to a heartfelt discussion on the responsibilities of the Jewish community towards its less fortunate members. Robby and Ben emphasize the importance of charitable actions and self-reflection within the community, aligning with the themes of Hanukkah—light, hope, and resilience.
Notable Quote:
Ben Saffir [27:53]: "Be Yiddish. Do the most."
Robby shares nostalgic memories of growing up in a Jewish school, navigating the challenges of being poor within a wealthy community. He humorously recounts experiences like the "Pizza Lunch" and the dynamics with PTA moms, painting a vivid picture of his formative years. The hosts also discuss traditional Hanukkah foods, with playful debates over latkes and international cuisines.
Notable Quotes:
Robby Hoffman [25:07]: "Get out of my house. Nice doing business with you."
Ben Saffir [35:37]: "I popped a turmeric right before I came. It helps with my brain inflammation."
In the Speak Pipe segment, a listener named Kara seeks advice on dealing with her husband's family's insensitive jokes about her mother, an amputee. The hosts unanimously advise maintaining respect and understanding, emphasizing the importance of not intervening unless necessary, as the mother is coping through humor.
Notable Quote:
Robby Hoffman [54:03]: "She's been through so much. She lost a leg. She had two boys on one leg. Believe me, she's stronger than you think."
Robby expresses his skepticism about fluoride in water, sparking a humorous yet critical debate among the hosts. While Robby remains adamant about his stance, Ben and Josh bring in counterpoints about the benefits of fluoride for dental health, leading to a lively exchange filled with jokes and sarcasm.
Notable Quote:
Robby Hoffman [30:29]: "There is much too much fluoride in our water. I'm convinced."
The hosts attempt to incorporate traditional Hanukkah elements like lighting a menorah and wearing kippahs. Despite initial resistance and humorous obstacles (e.g., missing matches), they successfully light the menorah, celebrating the festival's spirit of light and unity. This segment underscores the episode's festive theme and the importance of cultural traditions.
Notable Quote:
Josh Peck [49:30]: "We're going to break the rule and we're going to do it."
Concluding the episode with their signature "What Are You Nuts?" segment, the hosts share amusing and absurd encounters, such as awkward moments in public restrooms and criticisms of overzealous behaviors. This light-hearted conclusion reinforces the podcast's blend of humor and candid conversations.
Notable Quote:
Josh Peck [58:12]: "What are you nuts? Keep your eyes off of my penis."
In the closing moments, the hosts reiterate the significance of embracing one's identity and supporting those in need within the community. Robby expresses his commitment to fostering positive change, while Ben delivers a heartfelt Hanukkah message encouraging listeners to celebrate their heritage and help others.
Notable Quote:
Ben Saffir [63:58]: "Don't ever let anybody tell you that you're not Jewish enough."
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse sponsored messages for products like AG1 supplements, Element hydration drinks, Metrovac vacuums, Prolon nutrition plans, and Built Rewards travel points. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, offering listeners valuable product recommendations aligned with the hosts' lifestyles.
This Hanukkah special of the Good Guys podcast masterfully blends humor, personal stories, cultural discussions, and heartfelt messages. With Robby Hoffman's engaging presence, the hosts navigate through a variety of topics, offering both laughs and meaningful reflections. Whether sharing anecdotes from their past or debating contemporary issues, Josh, Ben, and Robby deliver an episode that is both entertaining and thought-provoking, perfectly capturing the spirit of Hanukkah.
Stay Connected:
Follow Good Guys on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube for more engaging episodes every Monday and Thursday. Don’t forget to follow Robby Hoffman on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and updates.
Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript and aims to capture the essence and key points of the episode. For the full experience, listening to the episode is highly recommended.