Botox Queens & Filler Kings

Summary

Good Guys Podcast — Botox Queens & Filler Kings
February 26, 2026 | Hosts: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Josh and Ben dive into the absurdities of modern celebrations, parenting, and friendship, before moving into timely (and sometimes bizarre) cosmetic trends like "swag" filler procedures and teen Botox. The episode mixes observations about social behaviors, the pitfalls of digital communication (read receipts and Venmo etiquette), and plenty of humor around listener questions. Olivia, Josh’s wife, contributes insights, especially on the topics of parenting and cosmetic trends.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Meaning (or Meaninglessness) of Birthdays

• On empty birthday promises:
  “Have you ever invited somebody to your birthday and got the reply, ‘I’m out of town, but we’ll celebrate when we’re back’? Nobody ever does!” — Ben (00:37)
• Debate on what birthdays truly matter:
  • Only select "marquee birthdays" (1, 13, 16, 18, 21, then every decade, then yearly after 90) justify celebration.
  • Criticism of friendships and relationships that end over missed birthday celebrations.
• Notable quote:
  “If everyone has it, not special. How about that?” — Josh (01:09)

2. Parenting Styles & Approaches to Other People’s Kids

• Ben describes his parenting:
  • Firm but kind (“old school” — but no physical discipline).
  • Importance of providing clear boundaries, even with other kids when safety is at stake.
    “My son is nothing special except he listens, okay?” — Ben (04:14)
  • Frustration at “checked out” parents at kids’ parties.
• Both hosts agree:
  • Prefer to confront parents directly if another child is disrespectful or creating safety issues.
  • Ben is unwilling to parent other people's kids on manners: "What are you gonna possibly say? That's obviously not being reinforced at home.” (07:22)
• Memorable moment:
  Ben describes corralling unsupervised kids:
  “Guys, get back in the house…there’s no parents out here, get in the house. I don’t want to hear it.” — Josh (09:00)

3. The Jewish Mom Pride & Team USA Hockey

• Celebration of Team USA’s men’s hockey Olympic win, especially the revelation that the winning player, Jack Hughes, is Jewish — leading to classic proud Jewish mom behavior.
• Funny aside:
  “His eyes went a little more cross after he drank that beer.” — Josh (12:52)
  • Discussion of the cultural phenomenon of “claiming” famous Jews:
    • “We’re proud when it’s not obvious.” — Ben (16:20)
    • “It’s pride through self doubt almost!” — Ben (16:28)
    • Joke about distance from “bad” famous Jews (“Son of Sam? Half.”)
• Critique of how Americans “flex” (and claim) connection to fame and winning — including offering free stuff to newly famous athletes.

4. The Rise of Bizarre Cosmetic Procedures

• “Swag” procedure: Filler for penile enhancement is becoming a fad; primarily for girth and “showing off” at the gym.
  • Jokes and confusion about why anyone would want a “shower horse cock all the time” (20:32)
• Botox for Teens & Preventative Aesthetics Culture:
  • Discussion of a 16-year-old getting jaw Botox for pain, then adding cosmetic Botox.
  • Olivia weighs in: “You don’t stop making collagen until you’re what, 25?...Maybe wait till you can vote to start.” (27:06)
  • Concern about the spread of cosmetic treatments among teens via TikTok/Instagram.
• Hosts’ experiences:
  • Josh admits to trying Botox for jaw clenching (“TMJ pain”) and recommends migraine relief possibilities.

5. “What Are You, Nuts?” Rapid-Fire Questions

• Would you rather: Greasy hair or a wet sock?
  • Both choose greasy hair; wet socks are universally despised.
• Name mishaps: Is it worse to forget someone’s name or confidently use the wrong name? Both agree the latter is worse and swap strategies for avoiding embarrassment.
• Embarrassing social moves: Both prefer to be the fool (wave at someone who wasn’t waving at you) rather than make someone else look foolish.
  • “I'd rather be the fool, the nice fool.” — Ben (36:49)

6. Listener Moron Mail

• Venmo Etiquette:
  • Lampooning friends who send “official” itemized Venmo requests for small amounts. “You can't request less than $50 from me. $28.47? Just split it.” — Ben (41:46)
  • General agreement: Just treat or split at table; don’t be a “debt collector."
• Wine Snobbery:
  • Listener pretends to “understand” wine. “I own a wine company, and I don’t drink.” — Ben (44:13)
  • They recommend outing oneself if among true wine snobs, or keeping up the performance for laughs.
• Trip Planning:
  • Color-coded trip spreadsheets: “Leadership or dictatorship?” Ben rants about control freak trip planners.
  • Accepting that things will not go to plan is part of the fun: “Be willing to let the trip get bad… it can be great as long as you’re not bringing a big black cloud.” — Josh (47:55)

7. Bite of the Week

• Josh: Soft scrambled eggs with Bourdon herb cheese (50:20)
• Ben: Korean-inspired brisket (marinated with soy sauce, brown sugar, gochujang, ginger, garlic) — “Best bite of my month.” (51:09)
• Both marvel at how brisket is even better the day after.

8. “What Are You, Nuts?” Moments

• Ben: Read receipts are bad for mental health, particularly for teens in the age of texting drama (52:12)
• Josh: The Residence Inn — it’s not your home! Observes guests acting like they “live there.” (52:28)
  • “Don’t take residence so literally.” — Josh (53:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• “If everyone has it, not special. How about that?” — Josh (01:09)
• “My son is nothing special except he listens, okay?” — Ben (04:14)
• “Your fucking kid sucks ass. What are you doing that your kid just said that to me?” — Ben (07:22)
• “We won gold at the Olympics and everything fell apart. Like, it can only be a good thing.” — Josh (13:14)
• “We’re proud when it’s not obvious. Right. Like when a Jewish physicist wins the Nobel Prize again, we go, yeah, that's your layup.” — Ben (16:20)
• “Swag procedure...pumping private parts full of filler.” — Ben (17:22)
• “You want a shower horse cock all the time. I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry. Turn off this episode.” — Ben (20:32)
• Olivia on Botox for teens: “You don’t stop making collagen until you’re what, 25? So I just feel like it’s a waste.” (27:06)
• Venmo etiquette: “You can't request less than $50 from me. $28.47? Just split it.” — Ben (41:46)
• Wine performance: “This is so me. I own a wine company, and I don't drink.” — Ben (44:13)
• Bite of the week: “Soft scrambled eggs should never be hard...Bourdon cheese. Take me away.” — Josh (50:25)
• “Read receipts should not be a feature on Apple. They shouldn't. Nobody should ever be able to torment you like that.” — Ben (52:12)
• “You're not a resident, okay? It's a hotel room with a kitchen. That's it.” — Josh (52:28)

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Significant Segments (Timestamps)

• On the meaning of birthdays: 00:37–02:35
• Parenting styles and the “checked out” parent: 02:46–09:47
• Jewish pride, Team USA, and cultural observations: 12:29–17:09
• Swag procedure and the strange new world of filler: 17:22–21:50
• Botox for teens/TikTok trend, Olivia’s perspective: 25:36–27:40
• Rapid-fire ‘would you rather’ & social faux pas: 34:14–36:49
• Moron mail begins (Venmo, trip planners, wine snobs): 40:38–48:44
• Bite of the week: 49:52–51:28
• “What are you, nuts?” moments: 51:28–53:30

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Tone and Style

The episode is characterized by playful banter, callback jokes, some raunchy humor, and a distinctly self-aware (and Jew-centric) lens. Ben tends towards strong stances and comic exaggeration; Josh offers more of a straight man foil while adding quips and asides. Olivia acts as the rational voice of reason.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a tour de force of modern absurdities — from the way adults now parent (and fail to parent), to social anxieties that technology both solves and exacerbates, to increasingly outlandish beauty trends. Underpinning it all is the hosts’ refusal to take themselves (or human foibles) too seriously — and an ongoing quest to define what really matters as you grow older: less about parties, more about quality friendships, tasty food, and not sweating the small stuff (unless it’s a wet sock).

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Further Notes

• Skip the ads (09:47, 21:50, 36:49, etc.) for direct content.
• The “moron mail” segment features real listener emails and showcases the humor and relatability of the podcast community.
• The episode closes with “best bite of the week” and “what are you, nuts?” gripes, reinforcing the show’s running themes of everyday absurdities and culinary delights.

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Five stars, otherwise…what are you, nuts?

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a dear media production.

[B]

Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good Guys. A mother's dream Premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a Good Guys.

[A]

And if you don't give us five stars.

[B]

What are you nuts? What are you nuts?

[A]

Yeah, we're the good guys.

[B]

They're not the great guys. We're just the good of good of the good guys. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. Ben. Start us off, babe.

[A]

Josh, look, have you ever invited somebody to your birthday party and you got this reply, I'm out of town, but we'll celebrate when we're back? Have you ever gotten that reply? Nobody's ever celebrated when they were back. That's never happened. I don't know why people do that. Why do people feel the need to say that? Why do they need to say, we'll celebrate when we're back? No, I. Honestly. I might never hear from you again. You might. You're traveling. Maybe your plane goes down. Maybe I never see you again at all. We're not celebrating my random 33rd birthday when we're back. What does that even mean?

[B]

Josh, I'm so tired of this arbitrary day that means nothing. That we have risen to a level of such importance that friendships can break over it, relationships can go to the shitter over it. It's fake. It's if everyone has it, not special. How about that?

[A]

100%. And it can't be special every year. That's why we have these marquee birthdays. Okay, the first marquee birthday. What's the first Marquee birthday, Josh?

[B]

One.

[A]

What is the first one?

[B]

One.

[A]

One. Okay, so fine, one through 18, we go crazy, right? And then after 18, we don't. Or when do we stop?

[B]

Even that.

[A]

When do we stop?

[B]

One is important. I would say the first three can be important. And you could do something big for the first three. I'd say between three and 10, go, go to an amusement park and shut up. Like, then start. And then, you know, 13 if you're a Jew. 15 if it's your quinceanera. Sweet 16 if you're a girl from Long island with a rich dentist father. And then 18.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And then 21.

[A]

Sure. And then 21. And then after 21, this is it. 25, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70. And then at some point, okay, once you've reached 90, I'd probably start celebrating every year again just cause you're so impressed with yourself that you've made it

[B]

full circle, full circle.

[A]

That you've made it, but this is. These random birthdays. It's no good. Stop inviting me. We're kaput. And Josh, let's talk about our approach

[B]

to raising kids and raising other people's kids, because this weekend has revealed my parenting style. Want to hear it?

[A]

I want to hear it. I want to hear it. I want to know the ins and outs of Josh's parenting style.

[B]

Yes, my parenting style is okay. If you act out of line, I'm going to let you know, okay? And that to me, look, it's been a TikTok trend recently of like this. Oh, just a touch, a touch of old school parenting. Leave, you know, leave. Leave the, the physical. Leave. Leave all the negative stuff. Leave the belt. That's horrible. That should never happen again. How dare you. You should never touch a child ever. But when a kid acts out alone,

[A]

unless they're annoying, you gotta let them know.

[B]

Yes, you gotta let them know. I was just at this kid's birthday over the weekend. And you're going to experience this when your kids get a little bit older. First of all, the parents checked out. They're all sipping high moons, talking about, you know, reality show. Is it High moon, what's it called?

[A]

High Noon. High Noon.

[B]

You know, all the bullshit, okay? And they're drinking schwitzes. You know, they're drinking Zimas.

[A]

High moons, high moons and Schmidt societies. That's it. That's what they're drinking.

[B]

You know, and Michael's hard lemonades. And so these parents are checked out and the kids are running amok. And it's someone's home that the party is at. And it's. You've seen where I live. But the houses are literally right. You share a fence with the next house. So kids are literally climbing on the fence and walking on the roof of the shed of the neighbors. I'm going nuts. And I'm like, I literally at one point went to the parents and I said, can we have a united parental front here? Because this is nuts. And a kid's going to fall through the roots of the neighbor. And then I went up, I'm telling these kids. And maybe had to do it half a dozen times. I'm like, guys, you can't. You can't. And my son is nothing special except he listens, okay? So, so he'll mess around, he'll do the wrong thing, but if I say Max, he'll go, message received. No problem, right? These other kids, and these are seven and eight year olds. And when a seven and eight year old disrespects you. What you want to say is like, listen, I'm not your parent. You're not going to walk all over me, right? I'm an adult.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm not your buddy and I'm not your like passive parent who's sucking back high moons in the corner over there. And so I look at these kids and I go, listen, I'm an adult. And either you're gonna listen or I'm

[A]

gonna tell your dad.

[B]

And so it's just crazy.

[A]

It shouldn't be allowed at all. And by the way, Josh, that is Claudia's approach to regular friendships, okay? You cross her once, sayonara. And I used to think that was a little harsh. And let me tell you, if you were willing to cross me and at this stage in my life, I don't need you. I really don't. I don't need second chances anymore. Josh, this is about fine tuning, all right? This stage of life is about whittling down. Perhaps at one point we had 50 friends, 100 friends, 25, 2010, five. All we need in life, Josh, is a good three best friends, okay? Three best friends. If you have more than that, you, you can't call them best friends anymore. This used to be, in high school, I called everybody my best friend. My best friend here, my best friend there, my camp best friend, my. This friend. No, no, Ben, no. They can't all be best friends. They can't. So you cross me, you're done. That's it. Just like those kids. Those kids. If you're rude to my son, and I haven't gotten there yet, okay, Ruby's still too little for this. If you are rude to my Ruby, future five year old, when he's five, God willing, you're dead to me. Dead.

[B]

But they're not push him. They're not good. Tell me they're not going to be. Here's my issue. They're not rude to Ruby. Ruby's gonna love them. And, and he's also gonna like, because he's gonna be a good, good boy, but he's gonna kind of like, like my son. Look at like the bad kids and be like, ooh, that does look kind of fun. Like he'll live a little vicariously like we did growing up. But the kids are gonna be Richard to you, not Ruby to you. How do you feel?

[A]

Yeah. Ooh, if they're rude to me. Yeah, I just, I tell their dad, I don't even react. I'm just like, your fucking kid sucks. Ass. Like, your kid sucks ass. Like, what are you doing that? Your kid just said that to me. I would 100% confront the parent. Cause confronting. I actually don't like the idea of parenting somebody else's kids. I don't. Because what are you gonna possibly say? That's obviously not being reinforced at home. If they're mean, they're mean for a reason. And you randomly saying something to them, I don't think. Right. Will it do anything?

[B]

I just don't hold back when it's a safety issue ever. And, like, the kids ran out. Ran out. The. This was like, really? And we were leaving, and I just. This was the moment where I'm like, I'm glad I'm leaving. The kids ran out the front of the house. There's no parents out, and they're not far from the street. And I was like, guys, get back in the house. And they were like, well, we. Like. They said. I was like, there's no parents out here. Get in the house. I don't want to hear it. And that was the moment where I was like, I gotta leave. Cause, I mean, granted, I would've done that in front of their own parents and defended my actions, but I'm like, what's the alternative? That they don't listen and run in the street? Like, I'd rather have a kid and a parent mad at me than God forbid, they get hit by a car.

[A]

And so what actually did you sound like? Cause you weren't that tempered. Like, they're running around the house. They're leaving. I'm running through. I want to hear the way that you actually sound. I'm blasting through the door.

[B]

Hey, let's go play, guys, get back in the house. And then. And then say, well, everyone else. All the other kids are out here. Guys, get back in the house.

[A]

But all the other kids are out here playing.

[B]

I don't care. There's no parents out here. Get back in the house. Okay, that'd be Olivia. Does that suck? Am I going to get beat up by parents?

[C]

I don't think so. I think you're keeping everybody safe.

[A]

I think you're keeping everybody safe, Josh. I think that's what it is. I think you're the safety police. I think you need a T shirt. Okay. Or at minimum, maybe like, a little hat. You know, Safety police hat. And all I know is if I was in your position, I probably would have accidentally let, like, an F bomb. Go get in the fucking house. Yeah, okay. That would have been me. Because when I get really scared. I go, ooh, you know, I can't control my body when I'm scared for something happening. I just, I say, anything, get in the fucking house. Anything to scare them back into the house.

[B]

You know, I just draw the line at kids climbing on the roofs of other people's houses and running in traffic.

[A]

Whoa, sorry.

[B]

You know, Ronnie Republican over here, you know,

[A]

what the fuck? That's a good place to draw the line, Josh. It's a good place to draw the line. I totally. I totally agree. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Ollie. Folks, we all have our love languages. And if you have a dog, you know they have one too. Some dogs are all about quality time. Some love physical touch. But most dogs, their love language is definitely food. Folks celebrate the ones you love the most by giving them the best, highest quality ingredients with Ollie. And yes, it's the kind of meal dogs actually get excited about. It's real, fresh food that they'll love and devour, which is the best way to show them love every day. Because if they're giving you everything, the least you can do is make dinner really good. Look, Theo, my old Theo, rest in peace, died of cancer. I don't want to go there, okay? I don't want to go there. Why are you making me go there? I don't want to go there. He did anything. Okay, Kibble on the floor, didn't matter. Okay, Romeo, picky eater. The guy knows. He knows. When I give him that kibble, he's like, no, daddy, I need Ollie because Ollie tastes better. And Romeo, he's a picky eater. And by the way, he should be picky. He should be picky. He's got one life, too. And Ollie is. We're talking food quality through the roof, okay? Just a better experience. These are tailored meals to your dog, okay? No one stop shop. Your Great Dane doesn't eat what my King Charles Cavalier eats. And one of a kind technology. We're talking an Ollie app. I love an app. It's absolutely fantastic and makes things just so data centric, you know? Show your dog some love in the way they understand best by heading to Ollie o l l I e.com goodguys. Tell them all about your dog and use code goodguys to get 66.0percent off your welco. Subscribe today. Plus they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box, so if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's Ollie O l l I e.com goodguys and enter code goodguys to get 66.0percent off your first box. I'm completely switching gears. USA. USA. USA the men's hockey team. Holy smokes. That was like, obviously you've seen miracle, but I just. I couldn't believe it. And then I found out the guy who scored the winning goal was Jewish. And all of a sudden I was plotting. It was just. It was unbelievable. Okay? Unbelievable. The goal that was promised to us 3,000 years ago, according to the people on TikTok. Screw you all.

[B]

I have to say. Screw you, Jew.

[A]

S a Jew. S a Jewsa clip that.

[B]

Send it to Al Jazeera, you fuck.

[A]

You. Send was so good. Oh, my God. And those kids. And you saw Kash Patel slugging it with them. Whoa.

[B]

His eyes went a little more cross after he drank that beer.

[A]

I was like, damn, it was so funny, dude. It was so funny. But seriously, shout out USA Men's hockey team. Just. What an unbelievable accomplishment. Especially just with everything going on. The country needed something to rally around, and it's those boys. It's those boys. Was great. Really great.

[B]

It doesn't forgive the horrible shit that's been going on as of recently. But I will say I've never seen anyone go, you know, we won gold at the Olympics and everything fell apart. Like, it can only be a good thing. And I hope if. If our leaders won't unite us, at least Team USA hopefully can. They did.

[A]

If you're not rooting for Team usa, that's on you. Team usa. They won. They did their thing. They were the best at something that is really, really hard for us to be the best at. It's funny, Josh, we were just talking about how the NHL players shouldn't be playing in. In Olympic hockey, and if they didn't, we wouldn't have won. So I guess, honestly, I. I take it back. I take it back. It stinks for the NHL owners, but the fact that we were able to win this and beat Canada, big deal.

[B]

How many? How many? Because he plays for New Jersey, right? So how many dentists in the tri state area are in? Jack used DMS right now going. Would love to build you a bridge for two IG shout outs. Happy to do. Two implants for an. For an infeed and a TikTok.

[A]

Considering when the Knicks literally sign the most random guy, I immediately send a dm. If you ever need help with a dinner reservation, you let me know. I can attest that that for sure happened. Do you do that with every new

[B]

Nick you do that with every new Nick.

[A]

Every new. Every new Nick. I try and get him young too. Under a hundred thousand. I think to myself, oh, you know, he doesn't have the plug and major food group yet. Let me be the entree to that. Let me help you out. I'm here, I'm here. Let me lend you my services.

[B]

You're the weirdest. You're like that meme of when husbands and boyfriends write to LeBron. Like, have a. Have a great game, King. And you think it's actually getting to them. Except Ben's writing. I've got some leftovers, King. I'll drop off a quart of vodka sauce in your house. You really are. You are Bruce Offer's son. God bless you.

[A]

My dad can have a nice roast at your door at three. Let me know the best address.

[B]

That's so good. I'll be there in my dad's 07 Chevy Suburban, drop off a variety of sauces.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

Oh my God. No, it was awesome. I'm so. I was loving. I was loving Team usa. Very exciting. Very. And so did you see the memes of all the Jewish mothers who are exhaustedly writing everyone they know telling them Jack Hughes is Jewish?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it's just them clicking away.

[A]

Unbelievable. It was so good.

[B]

Why do we do that?

[A]

Because we're so proud. Like, we're just so proud. That's it. We did the same thing with Denny. We're just proud. That's it.

[B]

We're proud when it's not obvious. Right. Like when a Jewish physicist wins the Nobel Prize again, we go, yeah, that's your layup.

[A]

You're right. You're right. We're proud when it's not obvious. We're so proud when we do things that we don't think we should be able to do. Right. It's honestly, it's pride through self doubt almost. It's very interesting, Josh. Very interesting. But absolutely true. Absolutely true.

[B]

I remember there was a. I think Judy Gold makes this joke. When David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam, who was committing the murders in the 70s and 80s in New York and they found out that the Son of Sam was David Berkowitz, a Jew. And I think Judy Gold's mother did some research and said half.

[A]

We don't claim him. We don't claim him. Josh, there was some weird freaking news over the weekend. Did you catch this weird news? Tell me. Weird stuff. Weird.

[B]

I did hear some of the weird news and here is one of them. And this is wild. Men are going to extreme lengths to make their penises bigger with bizarre swag procedure. While many people are asleep in the deep of night, some men are searching for ways to boost their bulge. Our inquiries usually come in around 2am Dr. Schaefer said, how can I increase my size? Schaefer has been giving new meaning to the phrase supersize me pumping private parts full of filler at his Fifth Avenue clinic. That's right. They're doing filler in their package. We're talking Botox. We're talking, I don't know, Latisse. I think that's for eyelashes. He's done 8,000 procedures. It's called. Yeah, the swag approach. The shaffer with and girth surgery. Nuts.

[A]

Oh my God. Okay, so you said 2 and 3 in the morning. So do we think these guys are leaving a girl's house after she just told him that he has a small dick and they're really sad and they Google penis enlargement surgery and Dr. Schaefer has the Google Ads on penis enlargement for New York. Is that what's happening?

[B]

I think so. And. Or they're watching porn and feeling very inadequate as compared to the professionals. Ah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[A]

2:00am Porn is too late, Josh. Right. You can't watch porn at 2 in the morning. What is your cutoff for porn?

[B]

I think anytime. Anytime, Anytime. If I need it. It's amazing. Like, I really think that anyone who's on Ambien, I want to be like, have you tried other ways?

[A]

Like totally, totally. But that's why 2am Unless you're having a really bad night and you just can't go to sleep. And I'm not going to describe it anymore, okay? I'm not going to describe it, sure. But there's chafing involved. 2:00am is too late. Okay, too late. I think 9:30. It's the latest.

[B]

Well, Dr. Schaefer is using the stiffest form of high hyaluronic acid as the filler. It's FDA approved for jaw augmentation, which you gonna have to get your jaw augmented after I. Dr. Shaver.

[A]

I'm kidding. That's gross. Horrible. Disgusting.

[B]

Disgusting. The primary effect is amplified girth, but because the constant weight of the filler stretches the skin leading to increase in flaccid length. That's the golden key, my friend. Because I want to be walking around Equinox being like, can you believe this? Right? How good? Of course. Muhammad, my friend Muhammad, who works at Equinox with me. Muhammad,

[A]

I want you to Know when I look over and I see somebody hung like a horse. Miss me?

[B]

What does that mean? You don't want to make eye contact with it?

[A]

I couldn't want that less. Okay. It's too much. It's too much. Who wants a huge. You want a huge. Just always out. Not like the grower versus shower. You want a shower horse cock all the time. I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry. Turn off this episode.

[B]

I don't know. And I'm not going to ask Olivia this because it's inappropriate. Again, I'm not asking Olivia this. It's inappropriate. I'm asking Ben this. I would love to know what would. First of all, my. My suspicion is, is that in general, my wife has said this, like, don't ever send us a picture of your thing. We are not interested in that. It does not do the same thing for us that us sending you pictures does for you. But I would be interested to know what if it did. If there was some exciting aspect to it which would be preferred by women,

[A]

I have to assume that a flaccid penis would be the least attractive thing in the whole world.

[B]

I think the other somebody is so angry and aggressive.

[A]

Sure. They both stink. They both stink. If you. Josh, this is one of you nuts. If you. There's in no world, in no way, shape or form does any woman want to receive a picture of a flaccid penis. No way. No way. Maybe they don't want to receive either of them.

[B]

I think there's no way we're doing an either.

[A]

There's no. I don't. Yeah, neither. Penises are disgusting. Now that I'm. Now that I'm talking about it, this just like limp. Oh God, I feel so dirty. Josh. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Wayfair. Folks. Wayfair is it. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one stop shop. Refresh your living room with accent pillows, mirrors and faux plants for way less. Refresh anything, folks. If you're anything like me, you're married to somebody who changes their mind in the blink of an eye. And all of a sudden you walk in and you. Your apartment has completely changed. And let me tell you, that's only possible@wayfair. Wayfair.com, you can literally change your bedding and bath basics. You could change your entire kids room. How about home decor storage for every space? Kitchen essentials. You want a new kitchen? Wayfair wayfair.com they have absolutely everything. It's so incredibly convenient. Oh my God. What are you going to go to 100 websites? What are you going to be like me? Try and go into an actual store? No, you're going to leave with things that you don't need and not leave with anything that you did need. You just got to go on Wayfair. And let me tell you, I got beautiful outdoor furniture on Wayfair. Holy smokes. Their selection is through the roof. I didn't even need outdoor furniture. I bought it because why not? It's on Wayfair. Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's Wayfair. W a y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home Wayfair is it. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every room in the house. Wayfair is Stop shop. That's wayfair. W A Y-F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home what do you think? This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Home Chef. Folks, this time of year, when it's cold and dark, by dinner time, all I want is something warm, comforting and easy. Home Chef has been my go to for cozy home cooked meals without the hassle. From easy oven ready meals to hearty, satisfying recipes that make winter dinners feel effortless. Folks, even celebrity chefs sometimes get bored of cooking. Yeah, that's right. Sometimes we just don't want to think. We don't want to grocery shop. We don't want to do anything. We still want premium meals. Our wives want premium meals. Our husbands want premium meals. Just because you decided that today you weren't in the mood to cook doesn't mean that their bellies don't need filling and filling with good stuff. And that's why Home Chef is the best. Because they make cooking simple, fresh food delivered, easy recipes to follow and meals that actually taste great. And people really love it. Including me. Home Chef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, taste, and most importantly to me, recipe ease. They've worked with chefs like Gordon Ramsay. Why don't you call me Home Chef? Who's Gordon Ramsay? I'm just kidding. He's fantastic. And there are always new ones to discover to bring restaurant quality recipes straight to your kitchen. You'll find these Chef inspired recipes across Home Chef's culinary collection. Classic meal kits and express options, each designed to help you feel confident in your kitchen. Whatever kind of day you're having, Home Chef has you covered. From classic recipes with fresh ingredients and 30 minute meals to oven ready trays and quick microwavable lunches. There's even a dedicated family menu for easy four to six serving dinners. Holy smokes. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 55.0percent off and free shipping for your first box. Plus oh my God. Free dessert for life. Go to homechef.com goodguys that's homechef.com goodguynS for 55.0percent off your first box and free dessert for life. Home chef.com goodguynS must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert, obviously Schnura Other Stories Another story yes, I'm 16

[B]

and already get Botox to prevent wrinkles. I can't let the risks stop me. The needles didn't sting as badly. Jasmine Miller feared just a quick pinch, exactly like her mom promised. The 16 year old Alabama teen had just gotten Botox for the first time, her provider injecting the neurotoxin in her jaw muscles to help ease chronic pain. It wasn't that bad, honestly. My jaw, my jaw was feeling so much better. About three months later I was texting the doctor and was like, well, I've already gotten Botox so I might as well just go all in. That choice would turn the Fayette teen into a lightning rod. A junior at the time, Jaslyn quickly became gossip fodder with her classmates and their parents when they were intrigued and unsettled by the idea that she was getting plenty of cosmetic treatments years before adulthood. So she got Botox in her jaw. It helped. She was like, eh, throw some in my non existent crow's feet, I guess.

[A]

No, it sounds like her mom said throw some in her non existent crow's feet. Which is just like whatever. How can you possibly need Botox at 16? Unless you're, I guess, really fucking stressed, right? Maybe it's those SATs.

[B]

Yeah, maybe it's, I don't know, social studies. But Jazlyn's story isn't an outlier. It's part of a growing trend on TikTok and Instagram. Teens and people in their early 20s are increasingly posting about getting Botox and other injectables, often calling it a preventative measure to avoid future lines and wrinkles. Olivia thoughts?

[C]

I mean, you don't stop making collagen until you're what, 25? So I just feel like It's a waste. And it's sad that somebody at 16 is being persuaded to do something like that. Obviously, like, more power to you always. But like, maybe wait till you can vote to start.

[A]

That's a great fun fact that you don't stop making collagen until 25. That's a great fact. And yeah, so clearly you don't need it. You don't need it. No need, Josh.

[B]

I guess not. I guess. I don't know. I've never done Botox except for my masseters. But I will tell you that the great Dr. Elazar safer. Shout out. I'm mentioning his name because I'm hoping he wants to do it for free. I brought him in because he fixed his cut above his eyebrow when he got hurt and beautifully closed it up and it's healing beautifully. And we went for his like 3 month checkup and Dr. Safer quickly was done with Shai, looked at me and said, let me look at you. And he was like, smile. And I was like. He was like, just 15 units there and there, like right here. He's like, it's just a little downturned. And I was like, okay, so maybe I do it.

[A]

It's also supposed to be great for migraines. I don't know. I haven't gotten a migraine in a while, but they say it's wonderful for migraines.

[B]

I have bad migraines, bro. That would be great. I need any kind of relief from a migraine.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, so you should get it. And Bruce Safer also gets migraines. First time he's gotten one. He's been dealing with them the last month. Botox. He hasn't tried it yet, but I'm gonna go tell him. Cause I remember that that is a thing that helps. Do we have any other stories, Josh? Otherwise, I have a question for you.

[B]

We have one more burning question. I have something really good to tell the podcast audience. And I'm only a weekend, so don't quote me yet, but as we all know, I've been a lifelong survivor of TMJ pain. I have my struggle with the tmj. I had the clenching at night, throughout the day. Tight, tight jaw, muscles so painful. It's like a charley horse in your face. And I've tried everything. Botox, night guards, occupational therapy. What?

[A]

It sounds like you've been taking too many dicks from that doctor.

[B]

Ooh, Dr. Schaefer. Dr. Schaefer. Say it ain't so, swag. I've been hanging out with Joey Kamasta. Too much. So, yes, my. I have tmj from the reasons why Ben said I have them and I've tried everything, but I just tried this new cocktail at night. Let me tell you, I think it's working. It's been working for the last week and praying it continues to work. I'm taking a light beta blocker, a blood pressure med, 5 milligrams of propranolol. Light, easy. A lot of people take it for blood pressure, but a lot of high performers such as myself, I'm talking professional violinist Robert Downey Jr. At the Academy Awards, they take it for anxiety. So I take a 5 milligram dose, which is the lightest of light dose and magnesium at night and I haven't been clenching.

[A]

When was the last time? Do you always take magnesium at night? Or this is a new thing for

[B]

you here and there. But I think this one, two punch, because I take a lot of magnesium through element because I get it through that.

[A]

Yes. Different kind, though. I think it might be magnesium glycinate. Or is that the one that makes you shit glycinate?

[B]

Is that the one that makes you shit glycinate? I think has the more sedative relaxing properties.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. So what that does to me is I take it, I go to sleep, I don't have any dreams. I don't think I'm out. I don't know what it is. It's very. It's like a sleeping pill. It's fantastic.

[B]

Well, let me tell you. Magnesium from Momentous and propranolol from cvs. Loving it.

[A]

One, two punch. One, two punch.

[B]

Well, I've got one more story and then I want to hear what you have to say. Ben, a tourist, 21, unexpectedly gives birth after going to hospital for stomach bug.

[A]

Oh, my. What an idiot.

[B]

In July last year, shepherd started to feel unwell, initially putting her stomach cramps down to an unpleasant stomach bug. Her symptoms worsened, turning into an intense pain on the right side of her stomach. She went to the Gold Coast University Hospital in Queensland. They performed a ultrasound and found out she was having labor cramps and she gave birth to a beautiful 6.4 pound baby.

[A]

Had no idea how, how, how, how, how, how this. We can ask Olivia how.

[C]

You know what's crazy? There is a girl who will. I will remain nameless, but she was like a friend of a friend in college and she had taken like a plan B pill, like, but the kind that's like prescribed from a doctor and she thought that all was good, but she never went for her follow up. And she thought that she had assisted herself stomach. And nine months later, five years later, now she's got a beautiful boy named Noah.

[A]

But I, but how you, you, I don't, you don't feel something in your stomach. You end up looking like Louie from the pit. I don't understand. Like, like you don't feel that. You don't, you don't.

[C]

Some people don't show as much. I think too. And I think also depending on the size of the individual, sometimes that can be a contributing factor.

[A]

Any kind of like that's interesting.

[C]

I'm not sure exactly. I just know in that instance she thought she had, you know, taken care of business and she certainly did.

[B]

Well, it said, despite the shock, the young woman who was a size 6 and had no pregnancy symptoms gave birth to a little girl named Isla just 10 hours later.

[A]

But 6.4 pounds, this goes away. This goes away. Everything that I thought I knew is gone out the window with her being a size six. I, Olivia now had me thinking, okay, maybe this woman was £400, so becoming £430. You don't know. You thought you just had a nice lunch, right? When really it wasn't a nice lunch. Okay, but if you were a size 6 and then you go from a size 6 to a size 16, you don't know how. Don't you know?

[B]

Well, but maybe she didn't, she didn't go up in size to Olivia's point.

[C]

That's what she's saying here. She was still a size 6. The baby was small too. I, I guess because the baby's fascinating, so maybe premature.

[A]

Oh my God. Holy smokes. Well, Azaltuv to her. You know, what a gift.

[B]

I just want to hear more about Noah, baby Noah, like avoiding the plan B pill, like the Death Star in Star Wars. One good name. Noah survived. Dude, am I right? Noah.

[A]

Noah survived. Noah survived.

[B]

Rukh Hashem.

[A]

Oh, wow, what a story. Josh, I have a question for you. Okay. It's very, very important. Okay, Very important. Would you rather always have a slightly wet sock or always have greasy hair?

[B]

Slightly wet, wet sock is not sustainable. So I would have to do the greasy hair. But God, do I hate. You know, that's why Howie Mandel, who actually has hair. Here's a big revelation. Howie Mandel has a full head of hair and only shaves his head because it makes him feel more clean and doesn't trigger his OCD as badly.

[A]

What? Is that true? He has a full head of hair, but how often does he have to. Does he shave every morning? Cause it's a shiny head.

[B]

Constantly. Wow. Isn't that crazy?

[A]

That is fascinating. That is fascinating. Josh, I want you to know that there's nothing more annoying to me in the entire world than a wet sock. So I will completely agree with you that I guess I would take greasy hair, even though I hate greasy hair. I need to take every single morning I shower every single morning like clockwork, and every single night like clockwork. And it's really because if my hair ever feels oily or greasy, I hate it. But the wet sock, Josh. No good. No good. All right, I have another very important question for you. Is it worse to forget someone's name or misuse someone's name confidently? You're at a party, okay, and you forgot maybe Mitch's name, and you go up to Mitchell and you say, hey, Mitch, good to see you, but his name was really Michael. What's worse, Forgetting or calling him Mitch?

[B]

I'm calling him Mitch.

[A]

Calling him Mitch is worse, right? It's fine. I think people. It's too. Actually, I've gotten. I've had so many encounters where people look at me and they're like, really? You don't remember my name? You don't have that? There's nothing worse than that.

[B]

Listen, you're gonna go, I've learned you never say, nice to meet you say, nice to see you. And then you. You do, chief. You do buddy. You do big guy. You do big girl. You know, boss, there's so many fun.

[A]

Good to see you, big girl. It's good.

[B]

Yeah, man. There's so many ways around it. And then if you really need to know their name, you got to find somebody new to throw into the mix whose name you do know. And then you go, hi, this is Ben. And then allow them to be like, hi, I'm so and so. And you go, lydia.

[A]

Lydia.

[B]

I knew it was with an L. I love it.

[A]

And Josh, the last one on this rapid fire, which we can cut if we want to, or we can keep in.

[B]

I'm not sure.

[A]

Is it more. Is it more embarrassing to wave back at someone who wasn't waving at you or to ignore someone who was.

[B]

I think I would rather be the fool in every scenario. It gives me the Steves to ever make someone feel or look foolish. And I'd rather just. It's just so on brand for me. And it's good podcast fodder. You.

[A]

I completely agree. I'd rather be the fool, the nice fool. Okay. The nice fool. That's me, that pleasant, nice fool. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Nutrafol. Folks, real change doesn't come from some big flashy moment. It comes from the routines you commit to. It's the small things that you do every day that creates quietly add up over time. That's the idea behind Nutrafol. It's built around a simple, consistent approach to hair health that works from within and delivers visible results over time. Not overnight folks. Nothing happens overnight. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. Nutrafol hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested to measure improvements in hair growth quality and strength. It's not a one size fits all approach. Nutrafol offers multiple formulas for men and women tailored to different life stages like postpartum or menopause and lifestyle factors such as plant based diets so you get support that's actually right for you. Adding nutrafold to your daily routine is easy. Order online, no prescription needed, with automated deliveries and free shipping to help keep you on track. Plus, with the Nutrafol subscription, you can save up to 20% and get added perks for a free Headspace membership to support your hair health journey. Folks, let your hair become one less thing taking up space in your head and see thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter the promo code GoodGuys10. That's Nutrafol spelled N U T R a f o l.com promo code goodguys10 nutrafol.com promo code goodguys 10 this episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Branch Basics. Folks, here's the thing about cleaning products. You use them every single day on the counters where you prepare your food, the laundry detergent you wash your clothes in, and the floors your little ones crawl on. And folks, this year is the perfect time to ask a very simple but incredibly important question. Do you actually know what you're cleaning your home with and how it might be affecting how you feel? I know the answer is no. Don't lie to me. You have no idea, no idea what you're cleaning your home with and how it might be affecting how you feel you're just pulling out what you've always pulled out, knowing that it'll clean. But who knows? Is it making you feel nuts? I don't know. It sounds small, but the products in your environment play a huge role in your overall well being, especially if you're resetting routines, building healthier habits, or starting 2026 with more intention. The problem? A lot of products look clean but still contain ingredients linked to hormone disruption, skin irritation, and respiratory issues. What are you nut? We're cleaning our house and we're getting all those things. And in the us, cleaning brands don't have to list every ingredient. So you may be spraying and washing with things you'd never knowingly bring into your home. Holy smokes. Branch Basics is the only solution, folks. We switched to Branch Basics and let me tell you, the house is just as clean and the peace of mind even cleaner. Thank God. And here's the good news. Branch Basics is now available everywhere you shop. We're talking Target, Target.com, amazon and of course Branch Basics.com tossing the toxins has never been more convenient. And for anyone grabbing the premium starter kit, you can save an additional 15% off@ branch basics.com with our code goodguys. Just use code good guys for 1515 off the premium starter kit@ branch basics.com after you purchase. When they ask where you heard about them, please make sure to mention the show. Everything helps. Do we have some moron mail?

[B]

We do. We have a piece of moron mail. And now. And Ben, maybe you can help us with this. We have closed down the speak pipes. They are no longer a part of the show. But we do want your moron mail so you can email us if you want to get some advice, ask us questions. Feel free. Put it in a short little paragraph and we will read it on the podcast. Hey Ben, what's our email address?

[A]

Goodguyspodcast onemail.com whoever has goodguys podcastmail.com, give it to me. Okay? Give it to me, you snake. You snake. But for now, it's goodguys podcast1mail.com and Josh, we already have a couple of. We have a couple of emails. I will start from anonymous. The subject is corporate Venmo. Hey, good guys. I have a friend who sends Venmo requests that look like official invoices. He itemizes taxes, tips, and even rounds up to the nearest dollar in his favor. Last week he sent a request for $28.47 and labeled it Q1 Sushi Settlement. Is he financially responsible or emotionally unwell? Signed accounts receivable.

[B]

That's not real.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

He didn't write.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

Financial settlement.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

This guy needs to go get the swag procedure with Dr. Schaefer. He does not. He's got a. He's hurting in that area.

[A]

You can't request. Honestly, Josh, you can't request less than. What's the right amount here? I don't think you can request less than $50 from me. 50 bucks? If we're friends, you can't request less than that from me. You can't. $28.47. Just. Just split it. Do the cards at the table. If that's the case right after the fact, for $28. Why? Why, Josh?

[B]

I just don't want to be in that position of. I, I. I would feel so much better to be able to treat than to have to hound someone for my share that, that I'm owed. And so I would rather say I would love to eat dinner with this person six times a year, but I always have to hound them for Venmo. So instead, I'll eat dinner with them twice a year, and I'll pay.

[A]

Totally. Totally. We're not debt collectors, Josh. We're just trying to go to dinner. Okay? Not debt collectors. No good. No good, Josh. I have another one.

[B]

Sometimes I get in a Venmo, like, wormhole, and I'll start reading, like, the subject line of what everyone's sending shit for, and I'd be like, it'll be really weird. Like, my half of the Netflix. I'm like, fucking nine bucks. Like, I don't know. Listen, I know there's. We're going to get shit for this because people are going to be like, yeah, that's, like, a lot of money. And it is, especially if you're, like, in your 20s and whatnot. But I don't. I just. I think in a desire to not use cash, people have overcomplicated their life.

[A]

Love me or hate me. I'm sorry. $4.50 is not an appropriate Venmo. I'm sorry. It's not a lot of money. It's not. You shouldn't have Venmo. I mean, you shouldn't have Netflix if $4.50. If you need $4.50 once a month, you shouldn't have Netflix. I'm sorry. If that's a hot take and people hate me, I'll live with it. I'll live with it, Josh. But no good. All right, I have another one.

[B]

I'm Ready?

[A]

Okay. The subject was, again, anonymous. We're keeping them all anonymous. Okay, the subject was fake wine. Guy. Guys, I've been pretending to understand wine for four years. I swirl, I nod, I say notes of cherry. I have no idea what I'm talking about, by the way. This is so me.

[B]

Me, too.

[A]

And I own a wine company, and I don't drink. This weekend, I'm going to Napa with friends who actually do know wine. Do I confess or continue the performance?

[B]

Oh,

[A]

if you're going with actual wine snobs, I would confess. Otherwise, you're going to get found out. But it'll actually be really funny, so maybe keep the shtick. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

Circuiting. Here's the thing. This is what you really got to do. Try to catch your friends in the lie. See if they're lying to add shit. You know, bring. Bring a couple tools. Bring a big one of those eyedropper things. Put it in the glass and then be like. Be like it aerates it on its way down. As the drops drop, it gets oxygen, and that releases the. The notes of. Of oak.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And if they go, oh, shit. Word. I heard that. Be like, you're a fucking liar, Dan. But if they're like, what are you, nuts? Be like, I am nuts. I don't know what I'm doing.

[A]

I love when people swirl their wine. My mom, last night at dinner, she ordered just a glass of house sauvignon blanc. And they brought it over, had her try it, and I just know her. Like, she takes a sip, she thinks about it. Delicious. What else are you gonna say? Unless it's corked. Like, either. If it's terrible wine, I guess I understand it, but I never. I never like that people are returning wine because it's not the flavor profile that they thought it would be. Miss me? No.

[B]

Good. They should do that with regular food. They should just bring over a bite of the Mac and cheese and be like, too nutty. You know I do that.

[A]

I've told you, that's my move. With tuna. I've told you that, right?

[B]

What you need, you have a tuna sommelier.

[A]

I taste the tuna. I'm not committing to tuna fish anywhere without a taste. I go to the diner, they have a tuna salad sandwich on the menu. Give me a taste. Just a little taste. I love it. That's it. And if I like the tuna, I'll order the tuna. But tuna is so hit or miss. Like, if I don't like the tuna, I'll get an omelet. I'll get a French onion soup. But I need the tiniest taste. Just a little.

[B]

I love it a little bit.

[A]

If you need, I'll pay a dollar for it. No problem. Just give me a taste of the tuna. Okay, Josh. And we have one more moron.

[B]

Mel. Great.

[A]

The subject is the group trip spreadsheet. Oh man, Josh. I've had these before. Hey, Ben. And Josh, my friend created a fully color coded spreadsheet for a three day guys trip. Tabs include budgeting, restaurant reservations, outfit themes and vibe goals. Is this leadership or dictatorship?

[B]

I think it's good leadership as long as no one is expected to stick to any of it.

[A]

I completely agree.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I have those friends that they will plan the entire trip. They will plan the entire bachelor party and they have concocted in their heads that they're doing it for you when they're doing it for them. They're fucking control freaks. And then you try to change anything. You try to make suggest a different restaurant and they say well, I've planned this entire trip. And they get all dramatic and it's just terrible, just terrible. I hate those kinds of people. So for me it's no, I don't even think it's well intentioned. No good.

[B]

And there's also like you can say hey, if we're going to eat at six places over the weekend, like these three were like really hard res. I've heard great things. Let's do it. These other three are my suggestion. But if anyone feels strongly, let's do

[A]

something else 100% right. I think that's the move. I think that's. Yeah. For sure. And it's not that precious. Okay. You're on a, you're on a boys trip. It doesn't matter where you eat. Go grab a protein bar. Okay, enough.

[B]

No, be willing to let the. The be willing to let the trip get bad. That's the thing you're missing. It's like the inconveniences, the random plan Bs and Cs because the weather wasn't right or whatever. Like it can be great as long as you're not bringing a big black cloud to things.

[A]

And. But so many guys bring big black clouds. Josh. You find that it's very rare that guy. Yeah, I find at least, at least with my friends it's very rare that it's fully roll with the punches. Like I think that I'm a roll with the punches guy for sure. But I think that there are a lot of people that when a plan goes awry, they're not able to quickly just get excited about the new plan. Maybe once, but not, not over and over again, versus me. If we couldn't get into one restaurant, we go to the next one. We couldn't get into the next one, we end up at Taco Bell. I had a great night.

[B]

The truth is, I'm with you. If I'm with you, my friend, my

[A]

wife, my kids, I'm with you.

[B]

I'm with you.

[A]

I'm with you.

[B]

We can go eat wherever.

[A]

I'm with you. Is there a song I'm with you? Yeah, It's Avril Lavigne. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you.

[B]

We went to get bagels, we wanted a smear, but they ran out of schmear. That sucked.

[A]

Right now.

[B]

We went to get tacos, but there wasn't a cantina, so we ate a Taco Bell. That's cool.

[A]

I love her.

[B]

She's so great.

[A]

Did she die and was she replaced? I don't think so, but that's a popular. That's a conspiracy theory that she, the original Avril Lavigne, died and was replaced. Why do people like to make these things up?

[B]

Oh, man. I have a great conspiracy theory that we'll save for next week's episode, but I think we should do really quick before Winnie and Nuts. Do you want to do best spite of the week?

[A]

Oh, yes, I do. Yes, I do. Josh, you have a great one.

[B]

My best spite of the week this week. My favorite thing that I ate is that I made a beautiful soft, like really perfectly soft scrambled egg. Soft scramble. Scrambled eggs should never be hard. And then, and this was always an Anthony Bourdain move that I learned from, I added right at the end, I added just like a thin strip of that Bordeaux herb cheese. You know this white cheese that looks like a little hockey puck.

[A]

Yes. Brass, you put that down the middle.

[B]

It was unreal. Simple soft scramble, little bit of salt, Bourdon cheese. Take me away.

[A]

I love that your best bite of the week was something that you made. So I'm going to do the same. Josh. This week I made a Korean inspired brisket. This was. It got the Claudia stamp of approval, which is if it gets that on something experimental, that means it was really fucking good. This was a marinade of soy sauce, rice wine, vinegar, brown sugar, gochujang. This was outrageous. Ginger, garlic. The best, the best bite of my month. And the best part about brisket, when it's Good brisket. You put it in the fridge, you take it out the next day. It's better.

[B]

Better.

[A]

You take it out the next day. It's better. Be careful, though. There is a time where it will turn. It's better. It's better. It makes you sick, so just be careful, okay? It is diminishing returns, but it's better. It's better. At least two days. So good. So freaking good. So good.

[B]

Should we get to our what are you, nuts? Moment of the week?

[A]

We absolutely should. Our gripes with people, places and things both big and tall, whatever. Sticking in your craw. Josh, I've had enough with read receipts, okay? You had them on for a minute. I did. You had them on for a minute. You did. You did. You did. Most of the time it's unintentional. That said, read receipts should not be a feature on Apple. They shouldn't. Nobody should ever be able to torment you like that. Because I can imagine. For me, as a 33 year old, it's frustrating. When I text someone, I see red. I know that they're on their phone and they don't get back to me. But Josh, imagine these teens. Imagine how much they're playing with their fucking heads.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Maybe there's a guy and a girl, they're texting. They're. She's. She's playing hard to get. He sees she's redded. She's redded. She's redded. I would have a fucking meltdown.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. What are you, nuts? Read receipts. Not good for mental health.

[B]

I absolutely love that my Woody and Nuts is a residence inn. Now, this is a beautiful Marriott property. It's really my favorite. But I think what people need to understand is you're not a resident, okay? It's a hotel room with a kitchen. That's it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Recently staying at a residence innovation, people are treating the hallways like it's the second floor of their home. They're walking around in robes. You know what I'm saying? They're like, me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you lived in Oklahoma.

[A]

Me and Oklahoma would be scary. I'd walk naked on my front porch.

[B]

I would love it. I see.

[A]

I would be naked all the time. I'd be naked all the time. Me in Oklahoma, I'd be naked all the time.

[B]

Just. It's not the Residence Inn. It's the people that live at the Residence Inn. What are you nuts? Don't take residence so literally.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I want to stay at a visiting men. You know,

[A]

visitors. It's so stupid. Folks, this is five stars. Otherwise, what do you not rate? Review and subscribe to this podcast? Because look, the rating, reviewing and subscribing is what grows the show. If you love the show, you rate it 5 stars, you send it to a friend and you write a nice little review. And then once a week we're gonna read the five star reviews. Because I'm not reading your dreck. Three star review. What are you nuts? I don't need any of that. Five star reviews only. But if you write a nice one, we're gonna read it. Josh. We have a good one.

[B]

Freaking weird. Wrote one of ya nuts. Five stars. My faves. And then she wrote five of these. That's hard hands.

[A]

I love five hearts.

[B]

Hard hands.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Pretty good.

[A]

Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.

[B]

We sure will.

[C]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.