Get Your A** To Ghana!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Good Guys – Episode: "Get Your A To Ghana!"**

Release Date: January 20, 2025
Hosts: Josh Peck (actor & writer) and Ben Soffer (entrepreneur & social media icon)

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1. Jewish Traditions Around Pregnancy and Parenthood

Discussion Highlights:
Josh Peck and Ben Soffer delve into Jewish superstitions and traditions related to pregnancy, emphasizing the emotional complexities associated with awaiting a new baby.

• Josh Peck (00:32): "Every time I bring up your beautiful baby to be, you're always hitting it with this. Baruch hashem... praise God."

• Ben Soffer (00:52): "We are just realists... having a baby is what women do is positively incredible. And it's scary and dangerous and a lot on the body."

Key Insights:
The hosts discuss the balance between optimism and anxiety surrounding childbirth, noting historical contexts where high infant mortality rates influenced Jewish customs like delaying nursery preparations until after the baby's birth.

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2. Gender Reveal Practices and Cultural Expectations

Discussion Highlights:
The conversation shifts to the topic of gender reveals, with Josh sharing his personal approach and societal perceptions.

• Josh Peck (04:54): "What do you think about... we didn't find out about our kids' gender. We don't find... and it's so damn fun."

• Ben Soffer (05:22): "It's beautiful... one week focused on... no, it's almost like Botox for the inside."

Key Insights:
Josh and Ben explore the challenges of keeping a baby's gender a surprise, the pressures of modern expectations, and the balance between tradition and personal preference in revealing gender.

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3. Celebrity Anecdotes and Personal Boundaries

Discussion Highlights:
The hosts share thoughts on celebrity stories and discuss personal boundaries, particularly in relation to unsolicited surgical procedures.

• Josh Peck (07:43): Discusses Brooke Shields' experience with unauthorized surgical additions during her labia reduction surgery.

• Ben Soffer (08:22): "That's really fucked up... Did you consider cutting that part out?"

Key Insights:
The conversation highlights the importance of consent in medical procedures and the ethical responsibilities of surgeons, drawing attention to how celebrities navigate personal choices in the public eye.

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4. Culinary Preferences and Personal Anecdotes

Discussion Highlights:
Josh shares his favorite turkey sandwich recipe, emphasizing simplicity and flavor balance, while Ben adds his personal touches.

• Josh Peck (13:53): Describes his turkey sandwich: "Sliced super thin... cheddar cheese... yellow mustard... light dusting of mayonnaise."

• Ben Soffer (14:48): "What you just described is perfect... yellow mustard and mayo combination is top tier."

Key Insights:
This segment underscores the hosts' appreciation for straightforward, well-crafted dishes and the joy of sharing personal culinary favorites.

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5. Parenting and Family Life

Discussion Highlights:
Josh and Ben discuss their experiences as fathers, highlighting the humorous and challenging aspects of parenting.

• Josh Peck (17:14): "I have a free farting policy with my boys... we get a good laugh."

• Ben Soffer (18:15): "Claudia and I live in a pro toot household... tooting is hilarious."

Key Insights:
The hosts embrace the candid and often messy reality of family life, emphasizing the importance of humor and openness in parenting.

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6. Addressing Personal Growth and Ethical Living

Discussion Highlights:
Josh reflects on personal choices that have contributed to a stable and ethical life.

• Josh Peck (19:02): Lists four principles: "I don't cheat on my wife, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, and I don't shill crypto."

• Ben Soffer (19:21): "You're only as sick as your secrets... live an honest and open life."

Key Insights:
This segment highlights the significance of integrity and transparency in personal relationships and overall well-being.

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7. Navigating Social Relationships and Friendships

Discussion Highlights:
A listener named Camilla seeks advice on managing her boyfriend's frequent guys' nights and solo trips, leading to an in-depth discussion on maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships.

• Camilla's Concern (39:12): Frequent guys' nights and upcoming trip to Europe with friends, feeling excluded.

• Josh Peck (40:40): "It's important to have a healthy separation... their friends are their friends, mine are mine."

• Ben Soffer (45:38): Emphasizes the need for personal spaces within relationships.

Key Insights:
Josh and Ben advocate for a balanced approach to social interactions, encouraging couples to respect individual friendships while fostering shared experiences to strengthen the relationship.

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8. Reflections on Pop Culture and Personal Interests

Discussion Highlights:
The hosts share their impressions of Nikki Glaser's Golden Globes performance and discuss the impact of Avicii's legacy on their lives.

• Nikki Glaser's Performance (25:32): Praised for her humor and preparation, with notable jokes cut from the final monologue.

• Avicii Tribute (33:01): Ben expresses admiration for Avicii's talent and sadness over his untimely passing.

Key Insights:
Through these discussions, the hosts explore the intersection of personal taste, public performances, and the enduring influence of artists in shaping cultural and personal identities.

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9. Lighthearted Banter and Audience Interaction

Discussion Highlights:
Josh and Ben engage in humorous exchanges, responding to audience submissions and sharing amusing anecdotes about everyday mishaps.

• Ben Soffer on Contacts (59:30): Shares a personal story about accidentally wearing double contacts.

• Josh Peck on Delivery Robots (57:59): Critiques the trend of delivery robots being attacked by people for fun.

Key Insights:
These relatable and funny moments provide a glimpse into the hosts' personalities, fostering a connection with the audience through shared experiences and humor.

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10. Closing Thoughts and Final Advice

Discussion Highlights:
In the concluding segments, Josh and Ben offer final pieces of advice to listeners, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and integrity in personal actions.

• Josh Peck (57:07): Encourages setting boundaries in social settings to maintain genuine connections.

• Ben Soffer (60:23): Advises against careless mistakes, like wearing double contacts, highlighting the need for attentiveness in daily life.

Key Insights:
The episode wraps up with heartfelt reminders about the value of honesty, self-awareness, and the joy of embracing one's true self amidst the complexities of modern life.

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Notable Quotes:

• Josh Peck (00:32): "Every time I bring up your beautiful baby to be, you're always hitting it with this. Baruch hashem... praise God."

• Ben Soffer (05:22): "It's beautiful... one week focused on... no, it's almost like Botox for the inside."

• Josh Peck (19:02): "I don't cheat on my wife, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, and I don't shill crypto."

• Ben Soffer (45:38): "Because you can't establish real friendships in a non-authentic way."

• Josh Peck (54:07): "We'll do a remote episode from Chuck E. Cheese."

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Conclusion:
In "Get Your A** To Ghana!", Josh Peck and Ben Soffer navigate a wide array of topics, blending humor with insightful discussions on traditions, relationships, personal growth, and pop culture. Their candid conversations provide listeners with both entertainment and meaningful reflections on modern life, all while maintaining the engaging and relatable dynamic that defines the Good Guys podcast.

Transcript

[Josh Peck]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the good guys. A mother's dream Premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine.

[Ben Soffer]

It's a good Guys. And if you don't give us five stars.

[Josh Peck]

What are you nuts?

[Ben Soffer]

What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

[Josh Peck]

They're not the great guys. We're just the good of the good.

[Ben Soffer]

Of the good guys.

[Josh Peck]

Benny boy, fellow father, I was thinking about this and I hope you'll share because every time I bring up your beautiful baby to be, you're always hitting it with this. Baruch hashem. Baruch hashem. Bh. Bh. You know, praise God, love God, explain the superstition amongst Jews and a. A baby to be.

[Ben Soffer]

I think we're just realists. Like, I think it's true. Like, I think everybody walks around happy. Go lucky. Which is really an amazing way to live. And I do live my most of my life that way, where I am an optimist through and through. But I have, as I think a lot of us. I have, like, I have many people in my orbit that have had late stage complications. Like, I've had. My mom had a miscarriage. Like, these things happen. And so to. To walk around as if can't. There's just something about the gravity of the situation that makes you just want to say, I want to be so excited. I am so excited. I'm holding my breath and just bh. I don't know. I don't know. That's. Hopefully that makes sense because I don't. It's just, it's. It's just a gut feeling. Like, people bring it up. I'm like, it's amazing if it happens. And like, like, thank God everything's going well and it looks good and healthy. It's just scary, man. That's all. I think we're just scared.

[Josh Peck]

But also, Jews don't. We don't create a room until the baby's here. You don't build a nursery. You don't have showers or any of that, right?

[Ben Soffer]

No, Nothing. Nothing. No. Once the baby is born, then you do. You go hog wild, right? You wait until the actual day. It's just a superstition. I never understood this pre planning the nursery. It's quick. Put up some paint, throw in a crib. It's quick. It's not like it doesn't take that long. And like when I think I told you this, but like, we did some meet and greets a couple months ago and like, we Were so early then. And people were bringing me, like, baby clothes. Like, are you crazy?

[Josh Peck]

But I also understand, look, we are an ancient religion. Like, quite ancient. Right. And so, you know, they talk about this a lot. People always say, oh, a thousand years ago or thousands of years ago, people only lived till they were 30 or 40. That's actually not tr.

[Ben Soffer]

Not at all.

[Josh Peck]

People lived till 70, 80, 90. But the infant mortality rate was so high that it brought the median age down to the 30s.

[Ben Soffer]

My God. This is a historic moment where we completely agree on a statistic.

[Josh Peck]

Cause it's facts, baby.

[Ben Soffer]

Yes, it's true.

[Josh Peck]

No.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, it's dragging down the average.

[Josh Peck]

Because having a baby is what women do is positively incredible. And it's scary and dangerous and a lot on the body. And unfortunately, before modern medicine, a lot of people perished. And so I understand the need and probably why, you know, things like kosher and dietary laws and all these things. It was probably born out of the need for survival.

[Ben Soffer]

Survival. That's it. Exactly right. Born out of the need for survival. We've done a terrible job at that. We are. We are just now past pre Holocaust numbers. Horrible job at surviving.

[Josh Peck]

You know what? But Jews are a little too banging forward, right? Like, I always hear this big thing, like on Shabbat, it's a mitzvah to bang. Like, Jews are, you know, we're.

[Ben Soffer]

We're canoodle.

[Josh Peck]

We're a little. Yeah, we're a little too. We're a little too forward. Like, we're too fart happy. We're too banging happy.

[Ben Soffer]

I haven't heard you use the term bang before.

[Josh Peck]

We just go over the line. It's too much.

[Ben Soffer]

I'm seeing a new side, Josh. I'm seeing a new side of you. Bang.

[Josh Peck]

So much banging with.

[Ben Soffer]

Let's. Let's bang so much canoodle.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, there's. So what words are. Canoodle is a good word.

[Ben Soffer]

Canoodle is the perfect word. Yes, it's perfect. No, bang is like. No, I like it. We are definitely a bang forward religion. Absolutely. Replace who was lost, be fruitful and multiply. And yes, it can be stressful. For sure. For sure.

[Josh Peck]

And what do you think about. I. And obviously I'm not criticizing because clearly you guys found out. Like, my wife and I, we didn't find out about our kids, the gender. We don't find. No one in our family does. And by that I mean my wife's family. And I highly recommend it. It was so damn fun. And I feel like it's so rare and it's also what people did up until the last 50 years. And yet when you bring it up with nine out of 10 people, they look at you like you have two heads.

[Ben Soffer]

It's beautiful. I think it's really hard to be able to do that. Is really hard to not have now that I'm going through. Well, one. Every single time you go for a sonogram, they know. So the chances of them not spoiling it for you, I think are really tough. They always choose, but they always do, right?

[Josh Peck]

Did with us. Oh, yeah. Like, at seven months, the nurse was like, so, are you guys going to want to do a circumcision? We were like, what? And she. If it's a boy, my.

[Ben Soffer]

Stop it.

[Josh Peck]

You messed it up, Diane.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah. So, like, if we're. If you're going to end up finding out in a way that you don't have control over anyways, I feel like just. Just find out. But I think it's like, if I was told that I absolutely would not find out until I held my beautiful baby and either saw a long schmeck or the opposite of a long schmeck, then that would be fantastic. But I feel like it gets spoiled too much in between. That's not special. Then you have a nurse, then you're pissed. I don't want that. So I don't know. I feel like if. I feel like that's maybe why.

[Josh Peck]

Olivia, what's your thoughts?

[Olivia]

What's my thoughts on finding out the gender?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. What would you do?

[Olivia]

Yeah, I think I feel like I like knowing things. And I also agree that it would probably be quite tricky to avoid finding out at some point. Like your example, obviously. But I don't know. I kind of. I think I'd probably like to find out. I think I'd like to find out. But I also like the mystery of not knowing until, you know, the day of. There's something fun about that.

[Ben Soffer]

What is the opposite, Josh, of a long schmeck? I've been thinking about that since an elevator button. Like, we know, like a tuna can. Like, like, he's so. Like, guys. Like, people love saying, oh, yeah, he's got a big dick. Like, what do girls say? Like, oh, she's got a. She's got a wet pussy.

[Josh Peck]

I quit the podcast. I quit. Oh, my God. Call HR right now.

[Olivia]

Olivia, we don't have HR anymore.

[Josh Peck]

That's what I like to hear.

[Ben Soffer]

That's the.

[Josh Peck]

A company I want to work for.

[Ben Soffer]

What are we talking about?

[Josh Peck]

That was pushing it. Well, it's funny. You did sort of tee me up for the perfect story. And it brings me to Brooke Shields and her fun little friend. Brooke Shields claims plastic surgeon threw in a little bonus during the labia surgery without her consent.

[Ben Soffer]

Wow.

[Josh Peck]

Shield said she underwent labia reduction surgery while in her 40s after experiencing discomfort, chafing and other things that I don't want to say. However, her surgeon informed her during a post op checkup that he threw in a little bonus without her consent. Vaginal rejuvenation. Yeah.

[Ben Soffer]

That's really fucked up.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. Wow. Wow.

[Ben Soffer]

I also, like, didn't need to hear this story. Not from you. Like, she didn't need to tell us this story. Who told us this story? How do we know this story?

[Josh Peck]

The New York Post.

[Ben Soffer]

Okay. No, that's good. They're good. They're good at what they do.

[Josh Peck]

It's a bit of an overshare. Brooke.

[Ben Soffer]

So she went in. Brooke Shields went in. She wanted her nether regions just fixed slightly esthetically. Right. But she didn't want. She wasn't interested in being sexually active anymore.

[Josh Peck]

No. And you don't know that. I would imagine this would help the activity.

[Ben Soffer]

Well, the vaginal rejuvenation then would be welcomed. Right. Listen, you get what I'm saying? It sounds to me like she was retiring. And then he went in and was like, oh, no, we are putting you back in active duty.

[Josh Peck]

It's not a free wax at the car wash. You know what I mean? This is surgery.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah. I mean, this is crazy.

[Josh Peck]

I can't. It's hectic.

[Olivia]

Olivia, happy to weigh in here. So the first part, like, what she went in to get done, that's something that, like, in certain circumstances will be covered by insurance because it can be, like, really uncomfortable and painful. But the vaginal rejuvenation element is something where they, like. It's almost like Botox for the inside of your stuff.

[Josh Peck]

Oh.

[Olivia]

And so it's like, to make the muscles, like, contract more and essentially be tighter. Yes. So she's not necessarily retiring by going in for the first part of the surgery by any means. She's probably just trying to have, like, a comfortable nether region. And then this doc was like, oh, let me just throw in a bonus for, you know, whoever you're sleeping with, essentially. Which is pretty shitty for her.

[Ben Soffer]

It's terrible.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

Yeah. It's presumptuous. Very, very presumptuous.

[Ben Soffer]

Whoa. Who is the. Who is the doctor?

[Josh Peck]

Who else do, bro. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Not true, not true, not true. Allegedly. Not True. Alleged. No, no, I'm kidding. Not, not, not, not true. Don't sue me. You know he's got the money to sue.

[Ben Soffer]

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[Josh Peck]

I think the only thing worse than this subject is penis enlargement.

[Ben Soffer]

Try yellow mustard, folks. You haven't had it in too long. Big Dijon moved you along. I'm just saying, that's all. Big Dijon. They spent all the money. You forgot about yellow. And yellow's fantastic. On a turkey sandwich. Perhaps a hot dog.

[Josh Peck]

I like on a turkey sandwich. Let me explain my favorite turkey sandwich and then you guys can comment. Sliced, super thin. I'm talking thin, thin, thin turkey. Okay? Like you say to your deli guy, you go thin, and they go this thin, and you go thinner and they go, are you sure? And you're like, I'm sure. So you go super thin. Then a hearty cheese. Like a cheddar cheese. Like a beautiful. Like, when you bite into it, you can see your teeth marks in it. And then I don't do. I don't need veggies, really, if I'm being honest. Don't need it. I do a yellow mustard and then I do a light dusting of a mayonnaise. Okay? So I've now made a homemade aioli. We're doing aioli in the home front. And then a crisp. I'm talking a toasted, seeded, sprouted bread. Seeded and sprouted bread. Thoughts?

[Ben Soffer]

What you just described is perfect. I know. The yellow mustard and mayo combination is top tier. Top tier, yes. And Josh, I'm not gonna lie to you, far healthier than everything else. There's no sugar in either of those things. It's not going to spike you up. No, that's a great frickin sandwich that you just said. The only thing that I personally add, I love vegetables, but shredded equally as thin as the turkey. We're talking thinly sliced pickles, thinly sliced red onions, shredded lettuce. But, yeah, so you described this. This is why yellow mustard. We're bringing it back. We're bringing it back big.

[Josh Peck]

I'm bullish on yellow mustard. Now, see, I do want to talk about you, on the other day on your Instagram, you made dumplings with rice noodles, and they were so clearly burnt. And so my question one was burnt. Did you consider cutting that part out?

[Ben Soffer]

No. No. Look, Josh, when you film the content, the content is what you got. And you can either choose to go with it or not.

[Josh Peck]

I think I respect that.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, One of them. Look, these are new stainless steel pans, all clad. And my God, Josh, do they get hot? They get much hotter than cans that I was using in the past. And I just need to really live on medium high heat. I can't go high heat. And when I think of frying, Josh, I think of high heat because I want it hot. Sure, I want it crispy. I want it. But no, this was too hot. Burn the shit out of me. Like, it was so hot even touching it. One of the dumplings was lightly burned, but let me tell you, people are sleeping on rice paper. Take it, you buy it, you dunk it in a little bit of water. It gets nice and pliable, loose. You fill it, you fry it at a medium high heat in a stainless steel pan, and you are cooking with gas. Yes, thank you for calling out that perhaps I did burn my meal. All I got from your wife is that it was gorgeous.

[Josh Peck]

It was gorgeous. And I'm here to humble my back. I'm here to keep you humble, you celebrity chef.

[Ben Soffer]

I know I do need to be humbled.

[Josh Peck]

I've been writing down a couple thoughts about just things in my life, and I want to share them here on the podcast. I think I have a free farting policy with my boys and I, my sons and I, because they toot so freely in front of me, and so I now am ripping them in front of them, and we get a good laugh. I go, did you guys hear that? You know, there was someone stepped on a duck.

[Ben Soffer]

You know, like, are you farting on them or near them?

[Josh Peck]

Near them in the same room in the general vicinity, but so it's not.

[Ben Soffer]

Like, hey, Max, look over here. And then your ass is in his face and you're ripping.

[Josh Peck]

No.

[Ben Soffer]

Okay, clarifying.

[Josh Peck]

We're not at camp.

[Ben Soffer]

That's my relationship with my dad to this day. To this day.

[Josh Peck]

Jews are gross. Clip it.

[Ben Soffer]

Dad. I'll tap him on the shoulder, and I'll fart on his leg.

[Josh Peck]

I'm just imagining your father post scoliosis surgery. He's in his wheelchair. You're like, hey, dad. And he's like.

[Ben Soffer]

All right, but continue before I made it gross. It was nice and just beautiful. So you're tooting with them, they're tooting with you.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. We have a free toot home with just us. Never in front of my wife. But I think it's too much. I think we've crossed the line and I think I need to dial it back.

[Ben Soffer]

That's a personal decision. You know, Claudia and I live in a pro toot household. We're tooting tootin and tootin. Yeah, tootin and hootin'and yeah, tooting is hilarious. It's just never not gonna be funny. And it's nice to have a nice self deprecating laugh. And so I am pro toot. Big time toot. But it is important, I'm sure you've taught them this, that there is a time and place to toot like that.

[Josh Peck]

Sure.

[Ben Soffer]

They shouldn't be pushing it out at school. Then you'll get a call at noon that someone shit their pants. Like, they have to be careful. They have to know.

[Josh Peck]

Sure.

[Ben Soffer]

Like, don't push.

[Josh Peck]

I've realized that there are four things that I do that have set me up to live a pretty safe life where I don't have to look over my shoulder. Which are? I don't cheat on my wife, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, and I don't shill crypto. If you don't do those four things, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[Ben Soffer]

Right? I would agree with you. Yeah, I would agree with you. You're only as. What's that expression? You're only as safe as your secrets. What is the.

[Josh Peck]

You're as sick as your secrets.

[Ben Soffer]

Sick as your secrets. That's it. I think that's the last one. If you live an honest and open life, you're never gonna be looking over your shoulder. If you keep things from the ones you love, you're always gonna be looking over your shoulder.

[Josh Peck]

But sometimes a secret is fun. Sometimes you're hiding something. Like, likewise, I'm gay. This is where. This is where it comes out. You were all right. Yeah, I was thinking.

[Ben Soffer]

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[Josh Peck]

Know that Hilaria Baldwin forgot the English word for onions while cooking traditional Spanish dish years after fake accent debacle. Did you see this?

[Ben Soffer]

No. Tell me this.

[Josh Peck]

Hilaria Baldwin. I mean, I don't mean to. I don't mean to pick on her, but I think it's been pretty clearly debunked that she's from the middle of Boston. And recently in a video, she was like. And he's like, onion. And she goes, onion. And I'm like, dog, what are we.

[Ben Soffer]

Talking about that's so good.

[Josh Peck]

Remember, she can pronounce cucumber. Like, where are we at with this?

[Ben Soffer]

Nuts. No, it's completely nuts. But look, honestly, credit to her. She's digging like the hole is a crater. She's digging and digging and digging. We just said you're only as sick as your secret. She is sick. Yes, she's sick. And maybe you are so sick that you just convince yourself that the secret is real. Yeah, maybe she's just brainwashed herself. You never know. It's kind of like Austin Butler, right?

[Josh Peck]

Awesome, right?

[Ben Soffer]

I mean, how is he these days? He's better, isn't he?

[Josh Peck]

We haven't heard a lot from A.B. what you say we haven't heard a lot from A.B. have we?

[Ben Soffer]

No, we haven't. I just. I have to assume his accent has changed, but we haven't heard a lot.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Ben Soffer]

I would. I would assume with a new role that the accent has changed.

[Josh Peck]

Maybe that's what he needs. You know what I mean? Maybe he should. Maybe that his agent set up a movie for a kid from Anaheim. That's the character he's playing. Because that's actually who he is.

[Ben Soffer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

And then he can go back to.

[Ben Soffer]

Help him return home to his native tongue. To help him return home.

[Josh Peck]

Let's hit up Disneyland, dude. All of a sudden, that's what he sounds like.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, he's. He's back. By the way. They were literally a month ago, but we forgot to talk about the Golden Globes. And I only want to talk about them for one second, just to say that Nikki Glazer was so fucking funny. She really was so funny. I was crying, laughing. I was crying, laughing. What did she. She. I broke down like a bun. I won't go into it. She was just so funny and she's so talented, and I thought she was excellent.

[Josh Peck]

She really. I was trying to figure out, like, what made it so good. Despite that it was just actually funny, which was. She poked at people, but it was very like, gentlemen. Like, there was nothing overly harsh except for things you could universally agree on. Like, Joker 2 wasn't great. And so she took a hard punch at Joker too, you know?

[Ben Soffer]

Totally. Oh, and her. I wrote down the one that I was dying at. She's like. And two time Holocaust survivor Adrien Brody is here. Like, she's just so good. You know what she did? She did so much research. Like, she really prepared. Really prepared. She didn't miss a moment. Didn't miss. She was there. It was. She was fantastic.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, she did. Did you hear all the jokes that she couldn't say?

[Ben Soffer]

I don't think so.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, here, we should. We should look this up. So Nikki Glaser was on the Howard Stern show and she gave a list of the jokes that got cut before the Golden Globes.

[Ben Soffer]

So who cuts those jokes? Like, she runs them by the Globes?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, of course. The producers.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, I didn't know that. Okay.

[Josh Peck]

So, yeah, I mean, I think there's. Okay. This is a Hollywood Reporter article. Nikki Glaser reveals 10 harsh jokes cut from her Golden Globes monologue. She revealed this on the great Howard Stern.

[Ben Soffer]

She should have revealed it on this. On the good guys. I'm just saying.

[Josh Peck]

But dude, freaking tell me about it. Okay. This is the last time all of you will be in the same room together until the Diddy trial. Pretty good.

[Ben Soffer]

How do you cut that? Good.

[Josh Peck]

I loved Conclave. It's about the choosing of a new Pope. It was heartwarming. It will touch you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Another was a follow up to her joke about Adrien Brody calling him a two time Holocaust survivor for his appearance in two Holocaust movies. But she cut this part. If Adrien Brody could go back in time, he would thank baby Hitler for his career. Oh, man.

[Ben Soffer]

Wow. That's excellent. She's so good.

[Josh Peck]

Like, it's really good.

[Ben Soffer]

The fact that you are reading them just in your own plain voice with no delivery, and they're still this funny. I don't know. Shout out. She's so fucking. She's great.

[Josh Peck]

This one's really good. The Wild Robot is nominated tonight. And by that I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, man.

[Josh Peck]

It'S so good.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, my God. Oh, that's so funny.

[Josh Peck]

Let's see.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, that Keith Urban joke that she told was really great too, where she's like, thank you so much, Keith, for always singing. So Nicole needs to leave the house to make so many movies.

[Josh Peck]

That's so good. This one is completely fucked. Michael Keaton was so great in Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. And Alec Baldwin sadly did not come back to play Ghost because he was too busy making them.

[Ben Soffer]

Whoa. My God. Whoa. Wow.

[Josh Peck]

We're cutting that? We should not.

[Ben Soffer]

That's the only one I cut. Yeah, the other should have aired.

[Josh Peck]

There was one. And here's Ben Affleck. I can't wait to see which Jennifer you try to ruin next. Timothee Chalamet took lessons in guitar, dialect, movement and vocals to become Bob Dylan, while Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan the old fashioned way. Heroin and autism. Oh, my God.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Peck]

That is nuts.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, that's nuts.

[Ben Soffer]

She's a queen.

[Josh Peck]

That's those. Are she crushed? It's Shout Out Nikki. She deserves it all. Very happy for her success.

[Ben Soffer]

So funny, so good. So funny, so good.

[Josh Peck]

I feel like I fumbled the ball because I realize I have an article here for world's biggest penis sizes by country revealed. See where the US Ranked.

[Ben Soffer]

We can't go back.

[Josh Peck]

We can't go back. Come on. Maybe we'll cut out all that and then we'll just keep this and people.

[Ben Soffer]

Will wonder, are we successfully moved out of the penis discussion? And now we're back. Okay, read it.

[Josh Peck]

Let's do. Oh, it's in centimeters. What is this? You know, we're getting too international with these radius.

[Ben Soffer]

What is this? What is a centimeter to an inch now?

[Josh Peck]

Isn't that the question?

[Olivia]

One inch.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah. What is it? It's the conversion.

[Josh Peck]

Just jump cut to me hooking up with someone in the Netherlands. What's a centimeter to an Inc.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, 1cm is 0.39 inches.

[Josh Peck]

0.39 inches. So a third. Roughly 3cm. Let's say 3cm.

[Ben Soffer]

3Cm is an inch.

[Josh Peck]

Okay, well, the United states came in 68th place with an average size of 5.5 inches.

[Ben Soffer]

Yikes.

[Josh Peck]

Shout out for being average, though. Am I right? Look at us.

[Ben Soffer]

I mean, not bad. Oh, it's good. It's good.

[Josh Peck]

Then fortunately, Americas didn't come dead last in the Phallic Olympiad. Thailand, where they measured 3.7 3.7 inches.

[Ben Soffer]

Who are they measuring? Who are who?

[Josh Peck]

You've never volunteered to take a survey. They probably gave a Target gift card.

[Ben Soffer]

Somebody comes up to you on the street and says, I'll give you $100 if I can measure your penis with a ruler.

[Josh Peck]

No comments.

[Ben Soffer]

I'm saying no. This is nuts.

[Josh Peck]

This is crazy. I mean, dude, we're going to have to cut all this out. Do you want to hear the top five?

[Ben Soffer]

No, we're good. We're not cutting anything. Just continue. We're running. We're running into the fire. Continue. Oh, God. I can't say that. Continue.

[Josh Peck]

The top five most endowed men in the world. The countries that they live in. Ready. Sudan. The country. Go. Ecuador. The Republic of the Congo. And Ghana.

[Ben Soffer]

Now we know. Now we know why Karen Bass.

[Josh Peck]

Is.

[Ben Soffer]

Hanging out in Ghana.

[Josh Peck]

This was great having this podcast for as long as we did. We want to thank you all for listening. This will be our final episode. We want to thank dear media, Olivia and all the people that listened. If you're wondering what happened to Josh Peck, he moved to a small Mormon community in Utah, where the cost of living was low. But his hopes were high that one day he'd be able to return to show business. This is what it looks like when you turn down Hallmark movies.

[Ben Soffer]

Everyone.

[Josh Peck]

You sit with this unhinged kid from the Upper west side.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Josh Peck]

It's bad.

[Ben Soffer]

Shout out. Karen Bass. Oh, my. That was a good arty laugh. That was excellent. I just watched an amazing documentary, Josh.

[Josh Peck]

Okay, tell me, Avicii.

[Ben Soffer]

Did you watch it?

[Josh Peck]

No. I want to.

[Ben Soffer]

I loved it. Mmm. I loved it. I also loved Avicii, and I was, like, quite sad with his tragic young passing. I definitely loved listening to his music and thought he was incredibly talented. But if you haven't seen this documentary, Olivia ii, and anybody listening, watch it. It is so sad. So good. Shows you that, like, you just don't know what other people are going through. Like, the guy is on top of the world. And he hated it. He hated it. What did he hate? He hated being famous. He couldn't do it. He couldn't deal with the. He didn't like it. He didn't. He was an introvert. Like, a total introvert that was then thrown in front of 100,000 people at Ultra. And, like, the only way that he became an extrovert was drinking in drugs, and it was just a slippery slope. And watch it. It was amazing. And, like, the people that he collaborated with, he was doing so. He was doing the Most they were going a thousand miles an hour. He would collaborate with Nile Rogers and Chris Martin in the same day and spit out two songs that day. Like, he was. He was a workhorse. Produced unbelievable music and so sad. So sad.

[Josh Peck]

Well, yeah, I mean, because there are people like Daft Punk and obviously Marshmello who figured out a way to. And deadmau5, to a certain extent. You know, deadmau5 used to wear the hat. And then eventually he just realized that it was too. The mouse helmet was too heavy. And he was like, yeah, fuck this.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

But he could have successfully. So it's interesting, right? There were ways in which. But of course, when you're young and it's so overwhelming and coming so much so fast, it's hard to see the full picture.

[Ben Soffer]

You know, how old he was when he, like, truly made it.

[Josh Peck]

2418. Jeez.

[Ben Soffer]

He's 18 years old. Like, he went from, like, he grew up in Sweden. Like, he went from these, like, the two nicest. Like, they said that he had an amazing upbringing. Like, we met his parents in the dock. You'll love the doc. Just like, nice Swedish kid who happened to be a musical genius and exploded and was just like 18 years old on top of the world.

[Josh Peck]

And a handsome kid because a lot of these DJs, they look like. I mean, yikes.

[Ben Soffer]

He also looked.

[Josh Peck]

Yikes.

[Ben Soffer]

And then, yeah, he grew out of his. He grew into himself. But, yeah, he was a legend. And it was such a sad story. Such a sad story.

[Josh Peck]

Is Avicii your Richard Simmons?

[Ben Soffer]

I think so. That's fair.

[Josh Peck]

Wow. Wow. Okay.

[Ben Soffer]

I think so. We have something about. You know, there's something about his music that I just. I loved. I loved that. Like, I'm. I'm like out of my brain is like stuck in 2012 house music. But, like, it loves it. Like, it loves levels. It loves Alesso and like all those guys. Like, I love that stuff. It's like so great. And Avicii is just like the king, king of all of that music. He pioneered that stuff and rest in peace, bro.

[Josh Peck]

20S.

[Ben Soffer]

My Richard Simmons is Kobe Bryant, though. When Kobe died, I was like, oh, my God.

[Josh Peck]

No, Kobe is both of ours. I mean, Kobe is his own thing, but yeah, Richard Simmons is my indulgence. Richard Simmons is who I turn to when no one else is there.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

You know what I mean?

[Ben Soffer]

Exactly. And yeah, I'm gonna send you help. I'm gonna send Olivia. Just remind me, I don't need it.

[Josh Peck]

He helps me. 26 year old Josh was crushing it so hard going to raves and listening to. I'm talking Afrojack. I'm talking Swedish house.

[Ben Soffer]

You were.

[Josh Peck]

You were.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, bro.

[Josh Peck]

So as a saint, by the way.

[Ben Soffer]

You see, folks, we're learning things. We're still learning things about each other. I didn't know that we had a shared love for that music. You had no idea.

[Josh Peck]

We've talked about how our dream is to go to Ultra.

[Ben Soffer]

Yes, but I didn't know that you were. I thought that post, once you got sober, I didn't realize that you did things like that. But that is the. Honestly, when I listen to that music, I don't need to drink anything. I don't need to take anything. It is the music that makes your body alive. So that. That makes sense.

[Josh Peck]

You turn up the bass on a Cascade Deadmau 5 collab, you give me a couple cigs and a sugar free Red Bull. You've never seen this side of me.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, I mean, we need to. We absolutely must.

[Josh Peck]

This was at the height of my powers. I'll never Forget. I was 24 years old at Avalon nightclub, dating this girl who I had met, who came from out of town, from Baltimore with her cousin. And me and my buddy Len, we're showing them around Hollywood. We went to Avalon. We're frickin raging. I am listening to, like, the hardest of hardest house music. Red Bulls are flowing, people are smoking, life is good. And then the girls, the cousins start making out. And I was like. I was like, you're related.

[Ben Soffer]

What is the best festival you've ever been to?

[Josh Peck]

How is that your follow up question to me telling you cousins were kissing? I've been to a great day. Nocturnal Wonderland. Nocturnal Wonderland. I've only been in Nocturnal Wonderland, but I saw.

[Ben Soffer]

I saw Vichy, New Year's Eve 2011, at Pier 94 in the city. And that was the best night of my life. Did I do Molly? Absolutely. But it was still the best night of my fricking life. Man, we are seared in my brain.

[Josh Peck]

God, we are so edgy.

[Ben Soffer]

We're so cool.

[Josh Peck]

We're edgy, dude.

[Ben Soffer]

No, like, you don't. You don't get this from any other podcast. You just don't get it.

[Josh Peck]

No.

[Ben Soffer]

We're so real. We're so all over the place. One minute we're talking about penises, the next minute we're talking about Karen Bass, now we're talking about Avicii. Sure. One could say we have add.

[Josh Peck]

Sure.

[Ben Soffer]

But that's not true.

[Josh Peck]

No, maybe it is. Should we do a speak pipe? Yeah, if you want to ask this advice? Keep it brief. Brevity is key. Go to speakpipe.com goodguys this is from. I don't know, I think you should.

[Ben Soffer]

Rename this Moron Memo. But now my question.

[Camilla]

I'm single, in my mid-30s, living in LA. How do you guys suggest I meet.

[Ben Soffer]

Nice Jewish boys that doesn't involve going to bars?

[Camilla]

Thanks.

[Ben Soffer]

Well, you're very direct and to the point. I like that.

[Josh Peck]

We appreciate, we appreciate.

[Ben Soffer]

I like that. Moron Memo is a nice suggestion, Josh. I think I prefer moron male. But hey, both pretty good. I don't think that you're ever going to meet somebody by not going out in real life and meeting people. Maybe that's like the. I'm fortunate to have never been on the apps and like didn't have to meet somebody like that. But I just think you got to meet people so you don't have to go to a bar. I would recommend, like, hopefully you have some nice friends that can set you up. I feel like that's like nice, maybe a nice group dinner. You mentioned that you were Jewish. Perhaps maybe like a nice Friday night dinner at Chabad. Maybe you'd meet a guy. I don't know. A bar is fine place, but I would definitely get out there and meet people in real life. What do you think, Josh?

[Josh Peck]

I think so too, but I think you also, I mean, look, I understand, I guess for me, because I was never hell bent on finding a Jewish spouse, I was kind of open to all of it. And by that I mean I just didn't want to marry my mother. But I, I, you know, I think that, I just think you have to make sure that you have a. You open yourself up to whoever is right, even if they're not exactly in the package that you were expecting or anticipating would be perfect for you.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, agreed, agreed, I get it. But you got to get out there. I don't like her saying the way that she said Josh without going to the bar made it seem like she doesn't want to even leave her house. Maybe I'm misreading it, but it sounded like, how do I meet a guy? By not going anywhere. And it's like, you got to go somewhere. Now if you were specifically talking about bars, I think we gave you suitable alternatives. Lady, get up. Get up and go meet him. You'll find him. You'll find him.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, you will. Next one.

[Camilla]

Hi, good guys. Would love to hear your thoughts on something. So basically my boyfriend and I have been together for three years. I moved to a bigger city and met him two weeks into moving here. So I was still in like the friends making phase. And like, I had moved here with my best friend, so obviously I had her, but I was making friends at work a little bit. But he has like a big, close knit group of friends, some who have girlfriends, some whose girlfriends are really cool. And I could potentially see myself being friends with them. But here's my dilemma is they have more guys nights than I think is normal for. So my boyfriend's 31, his friends are all around that age. I'm 27, and I basically hang out with all of them and their girlfriends, like for big holidays. So like maybe three to four times a year. And it's a little awkward when I see them because, like, we don't really see each other outside of that. And then my boyfriend doesn't go out like every weekend or anything, but they have guys nights probably, I don't know, four times a quarter at least. So, yeah, is that excessive? Like, at what point are we just like, assuming that significant others are invited? Like, obviously it's okay to have a guys night here and there, but they're also planning a guys trip to Europe and me and my boyfriend hasn't. Haven't been on vacation in the last year. So, yeah, not jealous or anything, but do I have a right to be like, oh, maybe that's a little much.

[Josh Peck]

Whoa.

[Ben Soffer]

I mean, you are jealous. Clearly. Okay, so first of all, we're going to need to dissect this. We're going to move aside. Josh, we're going to move aside the Euro trip.

[Josh Peck]

Okay.

[Ben Soffer]

Okay. Put that to the side because I think that's different and I want to talk about it. But when she first said that it was four times, I thought she was going to say that he sees his friends four times a week. And then she said four times a week. Quarter. First of all, who speaks in quarters when they're talking about his significant other? This isn't work.

[Josh Peck]

If we're talking quarters, I want to be talking about pies and that's it.

[Ben Soffer]

But four times a quarter. So you're telling me that you, you think it's excessive for your boyfriend to see his friends roughly once a month? Like, you're counting that? Like. No, I'm sorry, you, you need, you need to be shaken. You don't want a boyfriend that has no friends. It's great that he's social. Now, the Euro trip thing, I would say that as a 31 year old, if he takes you frequently on trips going with his friends on a trip to Europe isn't a big deal. But I would agree that if you guys haven't been on a vacation and that's important to you and he's excluding you and going with his friends to Europe, that, that's not like awesome. But again, I don't know, you seem, I'm sorry, you seem jealous and kind of like a nightmare.

[Josh Peck]

How do you really feel? How do you really feel?

[Ben Soffer]

I mean, do you feel differently?

[Josh Peck]

No, no, no. I, I, yeah, it went downhill so quickly because she started with Goodwill because I was like these infantilized men with their nonstop bro hanging out. Like you have a partner now. And just with every word that came out of her mouth after that, I was like, dude, what are you talking about? Like, totally agree. And also it sounds like there's this like need to be involved in boys night, which is like you are completely missing out on the utility of a boys night. Like so much good is happening for your spouse when they go off with their friends and have something that can only occur amongst that group, that when they come back, they're refreshed, they're better. It's like when you know, whatever it is your thing, whether it's going to the gym or going to yoga or getting a massage or whatever, it's like, yes, it can be considered an indulgence, but you come back so much better. And also like this idea that I don't know. My wife and I have always had a really healthy separation of church and state. And then eventually we'll coexist and I'll come out with her and her friends every now and again. But for the most part it's like, no, her friends are her friends, mine are mine. And our couple friends, then we do coupley things.

[Ben Soffer]

We're the same. Yeah. And that's healthy. Like that's really the way that it should be.

[Josh Peck]

Right?

[Ben Soffer]

Because you can't establish real friendships in a non authentic way. Like this guy, it sounds like he made his these are his friends for life that he loves and he can't speak and act the same way with his friends when you're there. That's not because he's doing something wrong. It's just, it's just different. It's just like when you're with, when you're with your guys, you're talking about different things and you're acting differently and you're probably acting immaturely because you've known them for so long. Like my best friends, I can be myself with and yourself in this Present moment is different than yourself that met those guys. It's not his fault that you moved there. He should do a better job of including you in things, but that's not including you in guys nights. That's if you want to see more of him, then he should set up more things for you to be a part of in addition to the things that he's doing. But to be upset that he sees his friends four times in three months is very scary behavior. I'm sorry it's so scary.

[Josh Peck]

This is a long winded explanation, but Tom Hanks has this great story of, I think when he was in the movie Big, and he talked about how he was starting to become pretty famous. And so I think he was a producer on the movie and Penny Marshall was directing. And so after the first day of shooting, he went to something called where they watch the dailies, which is. Or the second day of shooting, I should say, where usually at lunch, what they'll do is they will project everything that was shot the day before for the heads of departments, the head of costumes, editing, the director of photography. Because you're basically doing a check of yesterday's work. Like, does it look good? Is there anything we need to learn from what we just shot? Do we need to do any pickups? Do we need to fix something? And this usually happens at lunch the next day. So day two of filming, they all go, all the upper brass, the director, the director of photography, all the heads of departments go to watch the dailies at lunch. Tom Hanks goes, I'm getting pretty famous. I'm a producer. I'm gonna go watch the dailies too. I'm gonna be a part of this. And he walks in and Penny Marshall, the director, sees him and says, get out of here. And she's like. And he says to her, what do you mean? And she's like, this needs a safe. This needs to be a safe space for us to obliterate you. Because we're gonna watch you and go, why do you cock his head like that? And his hair's out of place and this is bad. She's like, we need to be uncensored so we can fix everything. It's not personal, but we can't worry about having to, like, put on a show because you're sitting here.

[Ben Soffer]

Totally.

[Josh Peck]

And so that's my answer to Boys Night. The truth is, we're probably not talking about you, but if we are, yeah, we're probably talking shit the way that you would talk shit with your girlfriend. It's like, we Are in an unfiltered free space to just say what's on our mind without judgment amongst your friends, share some stories and know that if your husband or your spouse isn't a piece of shit, there's always going to be a level of respect there. Even when you're sort of freely talking amongst your friends.

[Ben Soffer]

Couldn't agree more and feel like a kid. Yeah, I'm sorry. Like life is, life is a lot and like when you're with that or group of friends that you can just be a different person as that's very important and it's very special. So yeah, no, this woman. Vaive.

[Josh Peck]

Vaive is right. Here's the next speak pipe from. I don't know what's up? Good guys? My name is Hunter. Where do I meet Jewish women?

[Ben Soffer]

I think your women are really pretty.

[Josh Peck]

I love your food and I think.

[Ben Soffer]

You guys have a lot of really good cultural values.

[Josh Peck]

I'm not Jewish. Am fine with converting if that has to be a thing.

[Ben Soffer]

But yeah, also really dumb follow up question.

[Josh Peck]

Did I just completely screw myself by getting a German shepherd puppy?

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, Hunter, sweet thing.

[Josh Peck]

You sweet gentile.

[Ben Soffer]

Excellent. Okay, first of all, conversion, just do it yourself, do it, do it beforehand, preemptive convert. Then you ask your rabbi, say hey rabbi, I'd like to meet a nice Jewish girl. He will set you up instantly. That's it. You want to meet nice Jewish women. The absolute easiest way is for you to meet a rabbi convert and then the rabbi will introduce you to Jewish women. If you'd rather go the opposite way, then I don't know how you would meet just specifically Jewish women because they typically congregate amongst other Jews. If it's only Jewish women, otherwise you just have to get lucky. Maybe one is Jewish.

[Josh Peck]

But like maybe at a Lexus dealership or at like.

[Ben Soffer]

I'm sorry, you can meet her at the bank.

[Josh Peck]

At like a meteorologist, like at a weather station.

[Ben Soffer]

And the German shepherd, no problem. We don't blame the dogs.

[Josh Peck]

And what's fun is German shepherds. If you're actually training them. You have to say plots to stop. And that's a Yiddish word. Plots. Plots.

[Ben Soffer]

You do? I didn't know that.

[Josh Peck]

Fun.

[Ben Soffer]

Next week, something new every day.

[Hunter]

Hey good guys, this is Camilla. Love the show. I wanted to get your opinions. I'm a kindergarten teacher and so this time of the year. I'm very grateful. Get a lot of gifts from families and students around the holidays. However, I wanted to get your opinions on homemade gifts that are made and gifted to you. Not by your own children. For example, in kindergarten, kids love to bring in homemade cookies. However, if they tell me they helped make them immediately goes into the garbage. I've seen their hygiene on a daily basis. I don't want their grubby fingers in their cookies. I won't be eating those. Or like, like, do I want their popsicle picture frame? No, I probably won't be keeping that either. What are your thoughts on homemade Christmas gifts made by children that are not yours?

[Josh Peck]

Appropriate or not? I think you should find another profession, dear. You seem resentful.

[Ben Soffer]

It's so good. Yeah, obviously I don't want a popsicle painting from a random kid. No, I won't appreciate that. But you're their teacher. Of course that's what they're going to give you, right? What are you expecting the parents to buy you a plasma tv? No, they're going to. And also homemade. These kids, if they're really in kindergarten, they didn't help make the cookies. They didn't put their needs watched. And I'm sure the parents had them wash their hands.

[Josh Peck]

Totally.

[Ben Soffer]

And by the way, if the kid has it, the parent has it. You're always sick. This woman has to always be sick. I can't even imagine how sick a kindergarten teacher. I agree. You signed up, baby. You're all in. You got to accept the popsicles and move on.

[Josh Peck]

As the father of a five now six year old, which we hadn't, by the way. Just as an aside, we had a spectacular birthday party for Max at Chuck E. Cheese. And let me tell you, I hadn't been to a Chucky in a while on this establishment. You commented.

[Ben Soffer]

Ben, you know of this, this Chucky Charles Entertainment. Cheese.

[Josh Peck]

Of course. Charles is crushing. Charles is.

[Ben Soffer]

Charles is it. He's. He's king. And the pizza, how is the pizza?

[Josh Peck]

The pizza is as good as it's ever been. Let me tell you, if you feel like Chuck E. Cheese is something of, you know, your childhood, the 80s and 90s, it has blasted itself into the new millennia and it is beyond great. We had a lovely time. And I just want to say that you learn this about the politics of birthdays. I was a little nervous about talking about the birthday or posting on social media because I didn't want anyone in my life to be upset if they weren't invited to the birthday party, if they had kids. But the truth is we literally had to keep it just to Max's class at school. And we invited the entire class because Obviously he loves 90% of his class, but he's not friends with everyone, but we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And thus that's 25 kids. We couldn't invite any of our friends, so don't get mad at me.

[Ben Soffer]

No, I'm not mad at you. I didn't get an invite, but I'm not mad.

[Josh Peck]

Listen, you. A picture of me, you, and Chuck E. Cheese in the wind tunnel with all the tickets flying up. Can you imagine that?

[Ben Soffer]

No. I'm in. Reach out, Charles. Reach out.

[Josh Peck]

We'll do a remote episode from C and Cheese.

[Ben Soffer]

Great. I'm in. I would love it. Live from a Chuck E. Cheese.

[Josh Peck]

Can you imagine? Chuck E. Cheese becomes a lawyer. Seeing Cheese, Esquire. Personal injury attorneys. One more speak.

[Ben Soffer]

Vibe.

[Josh Peck]

Last one.

[Hunter]

Hey, good guys, I need some advice immediately. So my best friend is wanting to bring her boyfriend on my bachelorette trip that is coming up in a few weeks. He is just getting back from serving overseas in a church mission, and she is demanding that he come with her because they have not seen each other in a while. Keep in mind, she is my maid of honor, so she is planning most of the trip and so she is necessary to be there. However, having him there is going to be a total buzzkill. She says that he will not participate in any of the activities, but she just wants him around. What are you nuts? Please tell me how I address this with her. I do not know how to politely tell her. Leave them at home. Love ya. Bye.

[Ben Soffer]

I'm sorry, this is not the what do you nuts. Gosh, we both heard it. The what do you nuts? Is saying that somebody's serving overseas in a church mission. That's what ya nuts.

[Josh Peck]

What are you serving, fries?

[Ben Soffer]

I completely flipped. I thought that this was an army veteran coming home. I'm like, of course, anything. Serving overseas in a church mission. What are you nuts?

[Josh Peck]

Serving up that holy spirit.

[Ben Soffer]

Serving up nothing good. I don't want that church freak at my bachelorette party. Hell no. Hell no.

[Josh Peck]

Leave your name card in your secret pajamas at home.

[Ben Soffer]

No. Tell this friend. Just stop it. Enough. You don't. By the way, you don't need your maid of honor anywhere. Be a grown woman. Fuck. Like you don't need her if she. If she needs her boyfriend, tell her to kick rocks. I hope you have other people going on the bachelorette party. We just spoke about this. No men on the bachelorette party. No. And by the way, any guy that wants to be the only guy on a bachelorette party. Sorry, no bueno. No bueno.

[Josh Peck]

Guy's got problems I could somehow like if you were going to do it in a place that had like great golf and the guy likes golf and he's literally like we haven't seen each other in a while. So from like 1am to 10am when you're in the room, it's just gonna be, you know, canoodle city. We're gonna ravage each other and then literally I won't see you for the next 14 hours. I'll be on the links and you'll be out, you know, at the Magic Mike show. I guess I could see it working, but it all seems too complicated. And I agree with you, Ben.

[Ben Soffer]

I don't see it. Look, if she loves him that much, you're made of honor. Then she goes on the church trip.

[Josh Peck]

That's right.

[Ben Soffer]

If you really want to see him, get your fucking ass to Ghana with Karen.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben Soffer]

For the inauguration. Ok, get your ass to Ghana and do that church work trip title. Otherwise. Otherwise you got nothing to fucking stand on.

[Josh Peck]

Get your ass to Ghana.

[Ben Soffer]

By the way, is that Karen Bass? Is that who called in?

[Josh Peck]

I love that, that NSYNC song. Gone girl, yo Gone. Okay, should we get to our Woody nuts?

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, we should.

[Josh Peck]

Our Woody nuts is our gripes with people, places and things big and small. Whatever's currently sticking in our crawl. Mine is recently. Have you seen these delivery robots?

[Ben Soffer]

I've seen, yes.

[Josh Peck]

So basically it's like a big, it's like a gigantic cooler on wheels.

[Ben Soffer]

But it's a big LA thing, right?

[Josh Peck]

It's big LA thing. And basically they are these little robots that are on four wheels but they're, they're a hardy size. They're like. Yeah, they're the size of a cooler and they have off road wheels and they'll go to like a ghost kitchen or somewhere where there's like 20 restaurants and someone will make your doordash order. They'll put the food in there, it's sealed tight and then it will literally ride it to your place if it's like within five miles. And then it'll alert you. You go downstairs, lid opens up, you grab your food, it goes. People have been beating up the robots.

[Ben Soffer]

I make sense to me.

[Josh Peck]

What are you nuts?

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

Get a punching bag, get a hobby, get a higher education. Don't beat up the doordash robots. What are you nuts?

[Ben Soffer]

Are they beating up the robots to steal the food?

[Josh Peck]

No, because it's like literally locked. They're just, they're just making them slower.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, that's like. What are you nuts? Not even for theft. Just for fun. That's not fun.

[Josh Peck]

I know.

[Ben Soffer]

Take on somebody your own size. That so? Take another, fatty. My what are you, nuts? Moment is this morning. I went to put in my contacts and, you know, like, my vision was just like a little fuzzy. I was adjusting them, but I just like, I didn't feel right in them. I didn't feel right. Probably two hours go by. I'm still just like a little fuzzy. I'm like, fuck this, I'm going to take them out. Took out my right contact and all of a sudden I could see perfectly. I'm like, how is that possible, Josh? I had two contacts in my right eye. I don't know when I put in the first one. It wasn't this morning. I don't know how long it's been in there because I took out my contacts before I went to bed last night, But I took out that contact and I was seeing perfectly out of that right eye. I'm like, okay, fine, great. Took out the one out of my left eye, Josh. I could see perfectly in both eyes.

[Josh Peck]

You had two in both eyes?

[Ben Soffer]

I had two contacts in each eye this morning. Each eye. What am I, nuts? Very dangerous.

[Josh Peck]

That's a toxic shock.

[Ben Soffer]

Bad. Bad news. Bad news. Bad news. Yeah, I. I was stunned. I was like, are you. Are you dumb? Are you brain dead? Like, are you okay? So, yeah, I'm nuts.

[Josh Peck]

Love it. Take us home. Don't do it.

[Ben Soffer]

Don't do it. Make sure that you don't have double contacts and folks rate us five stars. Otherwise, whitie and nuts. Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts, watch us on YouTube. Josh's YouTube. Listen to us on Spotify. Watch us on YouTube. Share our clips Instagram and TikTok. Mondays and Thursdays. We will see you next time.

[Josh Peck]

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