Kathy Griffin is on Tinder and the No-Fly List

Summary

Good Guys Podcast: "Kathy Griffin is on Tinder and the No-Fly List"

Original Air Date: November 10, 2025
Hosts: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer
Guest: Kathy Griffin

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Episode Overview

This episode is an energetic, unfiltered, and often hilarious conversation with comedian and cultural lightning rod Kathy Griffin. The trio dives into Kathy's adventures on dating apps, the challenge of dating post-celebrity, the aftermath of her infamous Trump photo, the reality of Hollywood cosmetic work, and the ups and downs of navigating public controversies. The episode weaves comic storytelling, personal insight, and sharp commentary, all with Griffin’s trademark candor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kathy Griffin’s Dating App Adventures

• Kathy reveals she’s on dating apps (Tinder, et al.), prompted by a dare from friends Sia and Nia Vardalos ([00:39]).
  • On Sia & Nia filling out her profile:
    “Sia just grabbed my phone and she goes, give me the phone. I know you better than you know yourself.” ([00:58])
  • Nia cautioned Kathy against being “too honest” on her profile, especially about money and being forthright.
• Kathy shares candidly about dating as a 64-year-old, her “banging body,” and how younger men tend to ask her out more often than men her own age ([01:30], [05:15]).
  • “Why is it that guys my age, 64, never asked me out, but guys your age asked me out?” ([05:15])

2. Discussion: The Ideal Partner for Kathy

• The group builds a fantasy profile for Kathy’s future boyfriend—requirements: “a job, health insurance, and preferably richer than Kathy” ([04:06]).
  • Kathy has been the “sugar mama” in past relationships and is now ready for someone to take her on fancy vacations and pick up the check ([04:21]).
  • Josh and Ben joke about being the “ones that got away,” while Kathy laments that “the good ones really are good. They are really gay or married. That cliché is true.” ([11:22])
• Kathy’s deep love for old Hollywood is revealed: She throws “salon dinner parties” with guests like Sidney Poitier and Don Rickles ([08:01], [08:44]).
• The conversation morphs into a riff on their own mock relationships and the hilarity of breaking up marriages for Kathy ([16:27]).

3. Wealth, Dating, and Catfishing Anxiety

• Kathy talks frankly about her wealth and how intimidating or problematic that can be for men.
  • “You can look up anything on the Internet about me. So I'm at a great disadvantage, and I'm afraid to be catfished. So right before I got here, I made a guy do a Zoom with me…” ([03:07])
• The trio jokes about their own finances, debts (or lack thereof), and the woes of being public figures ([11:45]).

4. Celebrity Encounters & Stories

• Kathy shares a run-in with Post Malone at a hotel, noting the mountain of designer bags and speculating about his shopping habits ([18:12]).
• Ben shares his own “Post Malone dinner” story: “He lights up a cigarette, and I looked at him and I said, post. And I kind of like, just preggers.” ([20:29])
  • Post was charming and respectful, hurrying outside to smoke so Ben’s pregnant wife wouldn’t be exposed.

5. “Trump Head” Controversy: Fallout and Consequences

• Kathy gives the most detailed, serious section on the episode: The immediate firestorm after posting her photo holding a fake Trump-severed head ([24:00]-[37:58]).
  • “I was investigated by two agencies within the DOJ…on the no Fly list, on the Interpol list…and the ISIS terror watch list, because they pushed the narrative that I was the queen of ISIS.” ([24:00])
• She reveals the legal nightmare, losing jobs (off CNN New Year's Eve), and being publicly vilified.
• Kathy reflects on apologizing under duress and now “doubling down” on her free speech:
  • “My only regret with that whole incident is, for one day, I was given very bad advice…She suggested I apologize. …So I did make the mistake of apologizing for one day, and that's just been weaponized against me.” ([36:41])

6. Plastic Surgery & Hollywood Beauty Standards

• Kathy is open about her three facelifts and societal pressure on female comedians ([38:06]-[41:57]).
  • Jokes about paparazzi photos mid-workout and the skyrocketing costs of high-end facelifts: “I went to Kris Jenner’s last guy, but it was not cheap. You ready? $218,000.” ([46:46])
• She discusses her friendship with Joan Rivers and the tragic nature of cosmetic surgery risks ([40:02], [44:28]).

7. Andy Cohen, Bravo, and Professional Beef

• Kathy gives a biting, yet measured, take on her issues with Andy Cohen and working at Bravo ([48:04]).
  • “He won. He won the Game of Life…he was a difficult boss…If I could do it again…I would probably have been kinder and gentler with Andy.” ([48:04])
  • Comments on being pushed out and replaced on New Year’s Eve by Cohen.

8. Celebrity Feuds & Making Amends

• Kathy recounts her Twitter beef with Demi Lovato (“Debbie Lovato”), which included harassment by Demi’s fans, and the eventual in-person truce ([51:09]).
  • “If I can just have that one thing left, will you please forgive me? And she was like, all right. So I even hugged it out with Debbie.” ([51:12])

9. Advice Segment: The Dancing-Phobic Boyfriend

• Listener Amanda seeks advice for a boyfriend who hates dancing at weddings ([53:49]).
  • Kathy, as always, is blunt: “My first husband embezzled for me, so fuck you with your—‘My husband doesn’t dance.’ Try having your husband steal your money, anyway!” ([54:48])
  • Final advice: Negotiate for one slow dance at their own wedding, involve a “bro friend” to help, and don’t make it a dealbreaker ([55:52]).

10. ‘What Are You Nuts?’ Moment of the Week

• The hosts and Kathy air their pet peeves:
  • Josh: “Transition lenses—what are you nuts? People shouldn’t own transition lenses.” ([57:15])
  • Ben: Annoyance with group chats, especially when “one asshole has the Android” and messes up the iMessage flow ([58:17]).
  • Kathy: Being dropped by Squatty Potty after the controversy:
    • “Squatty Potty. The stool you put on your toilet to help you take a number two easier. They were appalled by my terroristic photo…When Squatty Potty dumps you, it's bad. You've really pissed off the president when Squatty Potty dumps you.” ([59:00])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On her dating profile:
  “I, Kathy Griffin, am on the dating apps because I was dared by, you know the singer Sia Chandelier. Unstoppable…” ([00:39])
• On modern romance:
  “I have been the sugar mama, and I'm ready for the guy to pick up every tab.” ([04:21])
• On being investigated:
  “They were trying to charge me with the crime of conspiracy to assassinate the President of the United States. I was on the no Fly list, I was on the Interpol list…” ([24:00])
• On Hollywood surgery:
  “I've had three facelifts…the facelift, when I decided to talk about it on my little YouTube show, took off. I mean, I Thought that doctor was gonna propose. He was so excited.” ([38:06])
• On professional relationships:
  “Andy Cohen…He won the Game of Life…He decides who the housewives are…He likes being on television. I had never worked with an executive like that…” ([48:04])
• On being dumped by Squatty Potty:
  “They were appalled by my terroristic photo…Squatty Potty dumps you, it's bad.” ([59:00])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Kathy’s dating app adventure: [00:39] – [07:01]
• Building her ideal partner: [04:04] – [11:21]
• Post Malone stories: [18:12] – [20:52]
• Trump head fallout: [24:00] – [37:58]
• Plastic surgery/Joan Rivers: [38:06] – [41:57]
• Andy Cohen/Bravo discussion: [48:04] – [50:44]
• Demi Lovato feud & forgiveness: [51:09] – [51:44]
• Advice segment (dancing boyfriend): [53:49] – [56:27]
• Pet peeves ('What are you nuts?' moments): [57:15] – [59:40]

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Closing

Kathy Griffin shines in this episode, balancing self-deprecating humor, raw honesty, and sharp social observation. The hosts keep pace, making for an episode rich with laughs, genuine moments, and candid takes on both public and private life in the spotlight.

Where to find more:

• Kathy’s YouTube: Kathy Griffin Talk Your Head Off (Tuesdays)
• Patreon, Substack, social media platforms

Final note:
“Thank you for coming on.” – “I love you guys. You're so awesome.”
([60:07])

Transcript

[Katie Lee Beagle]

The following podcast is a dear media production.

[Ben]

Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good Guys. A mother's dream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a Good Guys.

[Josh]

And if you don't give us five stars.

[Ben]

What are you nuts?

[Josh]

What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

[Ben]

They're not the great guys. We're just the good of the good.

[Josh]

Of the good guys.

[Ben]

Mazel morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with living legend Kathy Griffin, and she's on the dating apps.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yes, I, Kathy Griffin, am on the dating apps because I was dared by, you know the singer Sia Chandelier. Unstoppable. So I was at her house with Nia Vardalis from the My Big Frat Greek Wedding franchise. So she's got some dough. Not like you two.

[Josh]

My daughter marry Ian Miller.

[Kathy Griffin]

Exactly. See? And they dared me to go on the apps, and then they filled out my forms for me because Sia just grabbed my phone and she goes, give me the phone. I know you better than you know yourself. So what do you like? And then she goes, dinner parties, because she's Australian. And then. Exactly. And then whenever I would answer a question honestly, Nia would scream, too honest. Too scary.

[Ben]

So what was too honest?

[Kathy Griffin]

Well, I would say. Well, I say my real age. I'm 64. With this banging body, by the way. Is ridiculous. Let's just.

[Josh]

Ridiculous.

[Ben]

Can I be inappropriate?

[Kathy Griffin]

Yes.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Kathy Griffin]

Wow.

[Ben]

Crushing it.

[Kathy Griffin]

I wish you were here.

[Josh]

Me too.

[Ben]

Might ogle. He might ogle.

[Kathy Griffin]

I. I would hope so because I wore a p. What? This is called a peekaboo. So you can see my cleavage. So I'm doing. I am working all the angles on the apps, off the apps. In real life, I work out two hours a day like a beast. Oh, okay. See, Nia would say that. She would say, don't tell men you're a beast. See, I don't. Being a comic, I think too much like a dude.

[Ben]

So you want to.

[Kathy Griffin]

You want to. But I like the dick. So that's where I'm screwed. Where, if I was gay, I would probably be happy. But I still like the dick. And so I have to try to become more feminine. After decades of being a comic, I'm used to the dudes. Like, I hang out with dudes.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Just find a nice, feminine straight guy. Me and Josh.

[Ben]

It's us. It's us. You need a nice baby.

[Kathy Griffin]

You two are the two that got away. Like, when I say, like, who are the two that got away. Listen, let's go with Ben.

[Josh]

Who needs my better half?

[Ben]

Listen, our wives are monsters, but they love us.

[Kathy Griffin]

Stop saying wives. It's triggering. And also, I just want to. I want you to know I'm not positive I'm not being trafficked right now.

[Ben]

Sure. Okay. Fair.

[Kathy Griffin]

I think between the apps and we. We talked for one second before this, everybody. We were going to talk money.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I do have money. And that also Nia said that's very triggering for men. You can't say, like, you have no debt. You paid for your house, cash, like, whatever. But you can look up anything on the Internet about me. So I'm at a great disadvantage, and I'm afraid to be catfished. So right before I got here, I made a guy do a zoom with me to make. He was really the guy. He is in this picture. Because I've watched every episode of catfish.

[Ben]

There's over 300 episodes.

[Kathy Griffin]

No kidding. Nev is inexhaustible.

[Ben]

We've just had him on the pot. We did.

[Kathy Griffin]

And he can dance. He was very good on Dancing with the Stars as well.

[Ben]

I see. I see a. A nice husband. Let's. Let's create the perfect husband for. For.

[Kathy Griffin]

For.

[Ben]

Miss.

[Kathy Griffin]

Should we do, like, a list or.

[Ben]

Yeah, let's. Let's create the traits.

[Josh]

I was going to say let's first paint the picture and then we can assign it to a person.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. Now, do we pick, like, what he does for a living? Maybe everything.

[Ben]

Good one, Kathy.

[Kathy Griffin]

Well, I'm just saying he has to have a job in health insurance. Is that. Is my bar too high?

[Josh]

No, it's perfect.

[Ben]

He might have to do being your plus one for a living, right?

[Josh]

No, she said she's loaded. You want somebody loaded? Let's start there. You want somebody loaded?

[Kathy Griffin]

I have never been taken on a vacation in my life. I have taken guys to Bali. I have taken my men to Hawaii and stayed at the Britney Spears suite, which your older audiences will know. And I have done it upright. And now I've been the sugar mama, and I'm ready for the guy to pick up every tab. You don't have to pay any of my bills, but I want you to pick up every tab when we go out. And I would like to be taken on a fancy vacation.

[Josh]

Great. So, Josh, first to be richer than Kathy.

[Ben]

What are you thinking? What's a nice vacation? Are we thinking Morongo casino? Indian casino, maybe?

[Kathy Griffin]

No, I have played Morongo many times. I have played the nickel slots, and I'VE been the headliner at Morongo many times, but I. All right, so here's my question. How old are you?

[Ben]

I'm 38.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. How old are you?

[Josh]

33.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. Why is it that guys my age. 64, never asked me out, but guys your age asked me out?

[Josh]

Ooh, that's an interesting question. I'm not sure.

[Kathy Griffin]

I haven't been asked out by a guy my own age since I first got on a regular television series when I was 35. Like, it stopped overnight with guys my age. They were like, nope, they want. They want Svetlana, who's just moved here from Estonia.

[Josh]

And then you look like Svetlana that just moved in from Estonia.

[Ben]

This is what.

[Kathy Griffin]

We're in Estonia.

[Josh]

This is Estonia. Svetlana with a hundred million dollars.

[Kathy Griffin]

But I don't need your money to start my fake skin care line, because these older dudes with money always have to pay for the new girl's handbag line.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

Or, like, they have to, like, get her started, and I'm. I'm already started.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

But guys your age, tell me why. Why would a guy your age ask me out?

[Ben]

I mean, I don't want to go full Freudian and say there's a mother complex, but maybe we've had, like, these domineering mothers, so we're not threatened by strong female energy.

[Josh]

I think that anything younger than 30.

[Kathy Griffin]

Oh, no. I was gonna say 45. Should be as young as I got.

[Josh]

Okay. Okay. I like that.

[Ben]

Typically, they say half your age plus seven, so we're talking 32 plus 39 and above.

[Kathy Griffin]

So. Okay, so 45. I'm just. I'm gonna stick to 45 because, you know, they're. They're less likely to have, like, little kids.

[Ben]

But do you want similar references? Like, are you really gonna talk about Columbo?

[Kathy Griffin]

No, I need to talk about Columbo. Okay. Okay. But I do like to talk about Columbo. Okay. You know, the original remake and all the Columbos.

[Ben]

We all love Peter Fox. Sure.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I've always had a thing for older people. Like, I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm very proud about this. I talk about this on my little YouTube show called Kathy Griffin Talk your head off Every Tuesday on YouTube.

[Ben]

So. Good.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I have so much fun doing it, and it's just a blast. But anyway, I have these parties that you're both invited to, and they're called salon parties, and they're basically just a dinner party with no phones allowed at the table. But let me tell you, you really get to know somebody if you just put the freaking phone away for two seconds and you look each other in the eye. And first you have to go around the table and introduce yourself. Because don't assume just because you're famous, everyone knows who you are. If I invited some obscure surgeon, they may not know your body of work. So I cast it like a dinner party. And guess who the first this is back in the day, the first time I had one of these parties. Guess who was the guest of honor. You're gonna. You ready?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

Sidney Poitier. So you're right. A guy.

[Ben]

Unreal.

[Kathy Griffin]

Will a 45 year old guy get how cool that is? Or will he not get that?

[Ben]

If they're. If they know what's up.

[Kathy Griffin]

Right. That's what I need. They have to. It's got to be a younger guy that knows what's up.

[Josh]

I mean, it needs to be a younger guy that knows what's up. It needs to be a younger guy that can still hold this. Cool. In a very impressive room.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Josh]

Somebody that isn't going to go and gawk over your celebrity dinner.

[Kathy Griffin]

No, that was. Sydney would not have liked that. He was like a mellow guy.

[Josh]

No, he wants to be treated as a normal guy.

[Kathy Griffin]

You know who else came to that dinner? Now I'm just bragging? Don Rickles.

[Ben]

Oh, wow.

[Josh]

Wow.

[Kathy Griffin]

Because Sydney laughed so hard at everything Don said. And Don gave Sidney so much shit, which nobody else did. Of course, people go like this. And he was so happy to be in a room where Don Rickles was making fun of everything he did. And all Sidney had to do was sit there and be Sidney. But you're right. If I was on a date and some guy was like, Sidney, who I. I would be kind of like, you don't know what's up.

[Ben]

It's a tough one. No, you need someone who can honor all that. I see someone in their mid-40s.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

I'm trying to think of what would be like, maybe they're like an oral hygienist.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

Yeah, maybe they're. They're a registered nurse.

[Kathy Griffin]

Maybe they own the dentist.

[Josh]

How did we get from taking her on vacation to be an oral hygienist.

[Kathy Griffin]

For $5,000 a night to an oral hygienist, Amy.

[Ben]

Low six figures.

[Kathy Griffin]

But what about the guy that owns like three dentist offices himself? Like, what about that? Let's. Let's think partner in law firm.

[Josh]

Because I do love my CEO, Josh Tech. CEO. We're picking somebody. This is Somebody. We need cream of the crop. We need craps money.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Josh]

Throwing. Yeah. Multiple nights at Amman. Okay. You want to join the Amman members club in New York? Poof. Kathy, no problem. It's done. Consider done.

[Kathy Griffin]

He knows what's up.

[Ben]

He's getting.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I know that makes him shallow and he's very shallow.

[Josh]

Of course.

[Kathy Griffin]

I don't even know if you understand the level of. I mean, I like that I'm married.

[Josh]

To a 64 year old billionaire. Did you not know that?

[Kathy Griffin]

My God, yes.

[Ben]

That's why Sherry Redstone. Is that her name?

[Josh]

Yes, yes.

[Ben]

She just came into a couple. Billy. When she sold off Paramount, she ran it into the ground.

[Kathy Griffin]

Doesn't she have a brother?

[Josh]

She did.

[Kathy Griffin]

I want your research team to find out who. Oh, this is Sumner's death. This is just pitiful, this research team you have going. There's a kid who's smoking pot over there. He looks like he plays a lot of video games. And then there's some poor woman who was afraid to wear high heels because you guys make her run around all day. And I just don't know about this research team. I know my assistant is here shaking.

[Ben]

He's.

[Kathy Griffin]

He's got a tremor for me.

[Ben]

He's very well put together. Your assistant.

[Kathy Griffin]

He better be.

[Ben]

He's got a nice, you know, better be presenting a nice.

[Kathy Griffin]

Because on my two hour walk that I do every day like a psycho, sometimes I ask him to join me and it's a. It's a no joke walk. It's like a real hike.

[Ben]

Are you a steps queen too?

[Kathy Griffin]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I see. I'm your perfect man.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

It's me.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

I think that's it.

[Kathy Griffin]

So the good ones really are good. They're all. They are really gay or married. That cliche is true.

[Ben]

I'm like. I'm worth low eight figures. Very low.

[Kathy Griffin]

Very low. Okay.

[Ben]

But I.

[Kathy Griffin]

I don't love it, but okay. All right. Ben, how much debt does he have?

[Josh]

Josh has negative debt. This debt. Debt.

[Kathy Griffin]

I can't reach you, but like I'm high fiving you so hard right now.

[Ben]

Thank you.

[Kathy Griffin]

Because. Okay. How much debt does man have?

[Ben]

No, he's. There's a Yiddish word that I know you know. Kathy. What Ungerstucked. This kid, he's.

[Kathy Griffin]

That sounds like I. Him. It sounds like I just. I might.

[Josh]

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[Katie Lee Beagle]

Have you ever heard the saying, tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are. I'm Katie Lee Beagle and I'm food obsessed. Tune into my podcast, all on the Table and get to know celebrities, boldface names, and industry insiders in an all new way as they share the ingredients that make their recipe for life. I want to know it all, from the favorite childhood birthday cake to the breakfast they eat every day. An engagement meal in Paris or a guilty pleasure fast food indulgence. You can tell a lot about a person by what's in their fridge. And hey, everybody's got to eat. Make sure to tune in every Thursday and follow so we can devour every last morsel together. We're putting it all on the table.

[Kathy Griffin]

So wait, you're telling me that I'm in a room with two heterosexual males. Iffy, Fluid fluid. Who have no debt.

[Ben]

None.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay, this is way better than online dating. All I have to do is break up two marriages, which I've done in my sleep.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

So I don't know why we're continuing the podcast when we really should just be looking at houses.

[Ben]

A throuple.

[Kathy Griffin]

Thank you.

[Josh]

Or we could start a TV show, Josh. The five of us. Me, you, Paige, Claudia and Kathy. That's it.

[Kathy Griffin]

I wouldn't hate being a sister wife because, you know, I go on the road a lot.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

So the other sister wives could kind of fill in when I'm at Planet Hollywood November 8th, and when I'm back on the road, the other sister wives come in because you two love to yap. You two are like a couple of chicks in the hen house.

[Josh]

Orientas.

[Ben]

Oh, my God, you're headlining. Morongo. I'm at the outlets. I'm FaceTiming you. I'm like, I'm at. You know, I'm at the Coach Store. You're like, josh, I don't want anything.

[Kathy Griffin]

Right.

[Ben]

You know, I'm like, all right, I'm.

[Kathy Griffin]

By the way, I love these. I would.

[Ben]

I would.

[Josh]

I thought you were rich. What are you doing?

[Ben]

Kathy doesn't want anything. I'm like, okay, I'll call you when I'm at Eve St. Laurent.

[Kathy Griffin]

Call me when you're at YSL. Call me when you're at Fendi. But the point is, I care about you and your feelings.

[Ben]

Yes. And then I'm here. I'm doing the penny slots. I'm like, kathy, you know the lines out the door.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I'm like, I'm about to do my closer. I have 20 more minutes of my set, and I'll just meet you with the Fendi boxes. Oh, I have a fun celebrity story that I shouldn't tell. My favorite time, I was at a hotel in New York, and I get off the elevator, and there's just a ton of bodyguards for whoever is at the other end of the hall because. Let's cut the crap. When you're in the room at the end of the hall, it's the nice suite.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. So I'm at one end and the other end, and all I see is they're bringing up Hermes bags, Fendi bags, Ferragamo bags. It was that dude. And I'm not even really. I can't even name one song. His name, and this can't be his government name, but he goes by the name of Post Malone. Have you heard of this guy? Oh, okay. What's the story? And why is he going to Hermes? Is it for his woman, Wife? I don't know. Is it. Is it for himself? Is it.

[Josh]

I don't. I know that he's not married. I think that he might be dating.

[Ben]

He is.

[Josh]

I've been told.

[Kathy Griffin]

I've never seen so many Hermes bags in my life. Like, they were piling up, and his bodyguards were trying to keep them on both arms.

[Josh]

Yeah. First of all, I've been told that he's the nicest guy in all of music.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yes. I heard him. I heard him on Stern once, and he won me over. His personality. But I don't know his music.

[Ben]

He's.

[Josh]

Second rapper, then country. Okay.

[Ben]

He's.

[Kathy Griffin]

He's got a country fashion line now.

[Josh]

Okay. So maybe he. I think he's just a fashionista.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. What about Kathy Malone?

[Ben]

And it sounds like someone who was just kidnapped.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yeah. You know, or a drink. I'll have a Kathy Malone.

[Ben]

Like, I just got an Amber Alert. Like, little Kathy Malone is missing. Was seated at Dodge Caravan store. I had. So Post Malone, who was a fan of my show that I did when I was a kid, reached out to me on Twitter.

[Kathy Griffin]

Oh. Said I missed the old Twitter, by the way. Just shout out to the old Twitter prior Elon Musk. When you could actually DM someone fun and they really were that person and you could, like, actually communicate with them. And then I like you. I actually made some real life friends on DM Twitter. Go ahead.

[Ben]

Well, he wrote me and he was like, we should get dinner. And I said, sure, Post Malone. And we went to the Rainbow Room on Sunset and we went to.

[Kathy Griffin]

That's iconic. Iconic.

[Ben]

My wife is eight months pregnant. We're sitting there. And by the way, speaking of, already I could tell. And he wasn't super famous yet. Over ordered way too much.

[Kathy Griffin]

Like wine or like.

[Ben]

No, too many apps. Crazy. And that's coming from me.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

So I can tell what is the message.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. So when he went to Hermes, he just went crazy.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

Loves stuff.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

And I'll never forget this. And it was just so cute because he was like, literally maybe 23, and he's sitting there, my wife's pregnant, and he's, you know, but he's probably about 10ft away, and he lights up a cigarette. And I looked at him and I said, post. And I kind of like, just preggers.

[Kathy Griffin]

Preggers.

[Ben]

And he went, oh. And he ran to the other side of the restaurant. He was so, like, embarrassed that he.

[Kathy Griffin]

Would even didn't put it out in your hand.

[Ben]

I know.

[Kathy Griffin]

In his face. That would have been weird.

[Josh]

Orient. Orient. Or in. Right in her belly.

[Kathy Griffin]

It's Dan.

[Josh]

Yeah, right, Dan.

[Ben]

Good old Dan. No, this is. This Ben. Do you know how lucky I am to have a podcast with this Ben?

[Kathy Griffin]

Of course not.

[Ben]

That's a big mocker. She doesn't.

[Kathy Griffin]

She doesn't know Josh.

[Josh]

Oh, no mocker.

[Kathy Griffin]

I know big money. Okay, what is his money in? Is he like an oil man? Is he a tech schmuck? What's going on?

[Josh]

Better a combo. Oil, tech, booze.

[Kathy Griffin]

So he's the Bethany Frankel of podcasters. Yeah, but. But.

[Ben]

And his wife is the bigger Bethenny Frankel of podcasting.

[Kathy Griffin]

I mean, how did Dan score?

[Josh]

Yeah. Long time ago.

[Kathy Griffin]

What? Guess his height game.

[Ben]

Guess his height.

[Kathy Griffin]

Six. Three.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly. Right? How'd you know that?

[Kathy Griffin]

Because women are weird about size Queens. Women are weird size queens. About that. I, I'm five three so it doesn't matter to me if a guy's like 57 but like, or 5 6. If I'm 5 5, you could be fine with me. But how did he. What?

[Josh]

Was that true?

[Kathy Griffin]

Yeah, because, because like even in heels I'm still only 5 6. Okay, what, what is his game? Like how did he bag the big.

[Ben]

Fish he this kid?

[Kathy Griffin]

Because I'll tell you, I'll be honest, I don't get it. I don't get it.

[Ben]

Right now is a real. This kid's a real mensch.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

He's a sweetie.

[Kathy Griffin]

So you did it the old fashioned way actually being so nice. You nice turn to death.

[Ben]

He's gorgeous.

[Josh]

I nice her to death at 20. That's it. That was the key we met.

[Kathy Griffin]

So you got in early. So you got in before the rush, before the wash.

[Josh]

Gotten it. Nothing rose together. That's the key. That's the key, Kathy. Now you're thinking to yourself, does this guy want me for my money?

[Kathy Griffin]

Yes, money. Of course I do.

[Josh]

And he's thinking, does she want me for my money or does she really love me? It's much harder. It was ground floor. That's it.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. Do you guys have a prenuptial?

[Josh]

We don't. We don't.

[Kathy Griffin]

Well, if you both have money. That's not as disturbing to me as it would have been if, if you did. If one of you. But you're saying the wife has more money.

[Ben]

Oh yeah. Well, she's a massive. We call her little Kathy because she's one of the biggest podcasters in the.

[Josh]

Game and a comic. We should link the two of them. She's a great stand up comic too. She really be on her podcast.

[Kathy Griffin]

I would like to be on her podcast because I'm wasting my time. And also maybe she knows a guy who's single because once again I'm surrounded by married guys and a pothead.

[Josh]

What do you, what do your prenups.

[Ben]

Look like with your past husband Iron tight.

[Kathy Griffin]

I mean I, I go to Venable. I don't fuck around. I and I, and I have so many lawyers, you guys. I've been sued seven times since the Trump decapitated head picture. Seven times. So I pissed off Trumpers.

[Ben]

We don't have to, you know, belabor it, but do you want to we.

[Kathy Griffin]

Can talk about that.

[Ben]

You don't mind?

[Kathy Griffin]

We should because it's honestly, it's the first thing that comes up in interviews that I do and I'm now used to talking about it. So, like, fire away.

[Ben]

So you took this form, and that's.

[Kathy Griffin]

Not a death threat to say fire away. Expression of speech. Agent Tracy Lash, if you're listening, Agent Tracy Lash, you don't need to come to the house again. Anyone from the U.S. attorney's office who's listening? I was investigated by two agencies within the DOJ. They were trying to charge me with the crime of conspiracy to assassinate the President of the United States. I was on the no Fly list. I was on the Interpol list, which is the international version of the no Fly List. And I was on the Five Eyes list, which is the ISIS terror watch list, because they pushed the narrative that I was the queen of isis. And take a look at me. Who would doubt that for a minute? Because ISIS is recruiting a lot of Reba lookalikes. And here I am, Syria, in the camps, training night and day. You know, by the way, those are.

[Josh]

Eligible men with more money than you.

[Ben]

And there's no in Damascus.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Somebody, you know, you could.

[Kathy Griffin]

I can headline. I can still gig.

[Ben]

You could headline Fallujah.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yes.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

I actually have. I actually have done stand up in Iraq and Afghanistan as well.

[Ben]

Really?

[Kathy Griffin]

For the troops. Yes. Which, by the way, prior to the Trump photo, bought me no goodwill. Like, when the Trump photo happened, the military turned on me immediately, even though I had actually gone to. Performed under fire in war zones. You know, there was one when I went to Iraq. It was on my former TV show, Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D List, which you can watch on Peacock if you want to.

[Ben]

The original. One of the.

[Kathy Griffin]

Come on.

[Ben]

One of the great shows.

[Kathy Griffin]

Groundbreaking.

[Ben]

Laid the groundwork for all reality TV we've had over the last 15 years.

[Kathy Griffin]

It was so real, I don't think that anybody would even let me do a show that real. Like, I mean, they just freaking followed me around for six months hoping I would do crazy shit. Yeah. And I went to Afghanistan off camera, and that was very moving and all the things you would think and scary. But then they said, would you go back to Iraq and bring the crew? And I said yes, because so many of the men and women over there, when I went to Afghanistan, it would break my heart. They would come up to me and say, go home and. And don't let America forget that we're here. And so I was like, if I can bring my dinky little reality show. And it was. I think. I think it was like two cameramen, one producer, one sound guy. I mean, we were lean and mean.

[Ben]

So you Put out this photo where you're posing with this fake severed head.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yeah, it's a Halloween mask of Donald Trump, which anybody can get. I put ketchup all over it. I had taken a bunch of wacky photos that day, and none of the other ones, of course, got any play because there was one where I was like, spoofing Kim Kardashian. I used to live next door to Kim and Kanye. And I mean, next door, like, we shared a wall, right? Like it was heaven.

[Ben]

Well, this was the good times, right?

[Kathy Griffin]

This was the salad days. This was the good times. Although he was at that ranch a lot, but she was a dream. And they only had two of the kids at the time, and she was the perfect neighbor. And ironically, my neighbor on the other side of that house was a big Trumper. And he would, after the Trump picture blew up, he would stand in his yard with his friends and scream, you cunt, you. Trump's put the heat on you. Now it's war, you fucking bald. And I had shaved my head in solidarity with my sister because she had cancer. So he decided to call me a bald on top of all the other things. And then I had to go through a four day temporary restraining order hearing because I think the judge was, how shall I say, not a fan of mine?

[Ben]

Fair.

[Kathy Griffin]

And that was scary. So I moved not because of Kim and Kanye, who were a breeze, but because of the CEO next door who was a Trumper. And every time I drove home, I'd be, like, shaking because I didn't know if he'd be like, out there or yelling, shit. And I put walls up and I bought every kind of tree you can legally buy. And I was. I built the wall unlike someone else. And he just. He kept suing me even after I moved to Malibu. And now I live in Malibu and I love it.

[Josh]

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[Kathy Griffin]

Stop it, Stop it.

[Josh]

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[Ben]

So do you think we. I'd love to hear. And Ben, tell me like, so you post the photo. Tell me about the 24 hours after. How quickly do things start falling apart?

[Kathy Griffin]

Well, you know, I'm so used to getting in trouble that when I got a call from some journalist, had my number from. But from like the Times or something legit and like the New York Times. And I remember saying, how'd you get my number? First of all, like my real number. And they were asking me about the picture and they wanted to know the TikTok meaning how did your day start and how did it end up with you holding a bloody Halloween mask? And I was just talking to him. And then I, I had the TV on CNN because I was watching CNN all the time at that moment. And I saw on the ticker that I'd been fired from New Year's Eve, which I used to do every New Year's Eve with Anderson Cooper for 10 years. And that was a four and a half hour live broadcast, which I loved, by the way. I had so much fun doing that gig. So I, I was like, I'll talk to you later. And it just blew up. Then my lawyer started calling and they said, you're being investigated by the Secret Service.

[Ben]

So this is within like 6 hours of posting it? Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

And then Senator Al Franken called me and said, I know you're supposed to host two book events for me, but I can't be seen with you. What were you thinking? And then I got a call from a former publicist of mine. Who wasn't even my publicist, who said, american service members are going to get beheaded in your name and ISIS is going to use you, Kathy Griffin, in their recruiting materials. And that's what the White House is pushing out. And it just got bigger and bigger. And so I had to lawyer up and I had to get different kinds of lawyers. So I had to get a criminal attorney, my First Amendment attorney, who was the best. He used to represent Larry Flynt. The porn guy.

[Ben]

Sure.

[Kathy Griffin]

And there's a movie called the People versus Larry Flint, and he's actually portrayed by Edward Norton in the movie that starred Woody Harrelson and Courtney Love. And so he was my First Amendment guy, and he was very helpful in keeping me out of jail because they called the Secret Service called my lawyers every day to try to get me to do a perp walk. Because what they wanted, they said, the White House wants aerial footage of us taking you in the plastic handcuffs into the federal building in Westwood, California.

[Ben]

And so much traffic getting there, too.

[Kathy Griffin]

I can't be sitting there on wheelchair for hours. I mean, and I'm not taking an Uber. They could be working for the other team.

[Ben]

It's where I got my passport. Thank you.

[Kathy Griffin]

It's forever. You certainly don't want to kill a president. And so, you know, I. I just kept thinking, this is going to blow over in a matter of minutes because we're in this crazy news cycle. And then Trump himself tweeted about it. I've known the Donald for many years. I used to run into him at every NBC Universal event. He would go to the opening of an envelope. If you think I'm D list, he was E list. And I would just make fun of him. I was on two episodes of the Apprentice. I was never a cast member, but he called me once to go roast him at Bedminster.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

He called me and I go, donald, I don't want to drive to Jersey to your dumb golf course. And he goes, I'll give you $10,000. And I go, well, my number's 50. And he did.

[Ben]

Wow. Can I ask, like. And obviously, now that we've seen it, this is something that could never have happened. But a week, in six months, in some interconnector between. Because, you know, like, Trump is weirdly quick to forgive too.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yes. Like the Rudy Giuliani's and his inner circle, Elon, they fight, but then they make up.

[Ben]

If someone had reached out to you and said, I can get in his ear, like, I can talk to him, like, do you want me to See if he'll just have a. Having a side with you. Obviously, you would never. Early on, I'm saying never would you have even.

[Kathy Griffin]

I was. In fact, my only regret with that whole incident is for one day, I was given very bad advice by a lawyer that I had one bad experience with. One of my lawyers. The rest of them are geniuses. They're. They're really brilliant. And she suggested I apologize because imagine if someone had invoked my name during, God forbid, an American service member being hurt in any way. I don't care if they got a scratch. If anyone ever said, I'm doing this because of Kathy Griffin, having been in Iraq and Afghanistan and face to face with these young men and women, that would have killed me. So I did make the mistake of apologizing for one day, and that's just been weaponized against me. And so, like their team, I now double down on that photo. I'm now proud of it. I think that it will certainly live on. The great Jane Fonda said, this is gonna be on your tombstone, kid. And she's right. And so that's why I talk about it. Cause I know people want to ask, and it's an unprecedented thing. It's never happened to a civilian in this country, much less a comedian.

[Ben]

Well, I know. It's so meaningful. But I think the only thing that might. Might be a little more meaningful are. Are the facelifts. I mean, can we transition?

[Kathy Griffin]

Three. I've had three facelifts. I. The fuck you. I mean, I have been paparazzi on my daily walk. And it's so great because I didn't know everyone reads the Daily Mail. Everyone reads. I think they think it's their actual mail.

[Ben]

Sure.

[Kathy Griffin]

And Page Six in the New York Post. Murdoch owned. But I'm just gonna be honest. Just if you're listening or watching this, imagine you're at the height of a workout and someone takes a closeup of your face. Sure. Not the most flattering photos. And then they always put a side of me, like now, where I have fake eyelashes on. I've got a little magic hair in. Some of this hair grew out of my head. Some of it came from a gay man. And so a gay donor. And so, you know, I have to just laugh because I've decided that it means I'm famous that I'm getting. They call it papped paparazzi photography as you know, the lingo.

[Ben]

Yeah. Ben and I stop.

[Kathy Griffin]

The facelift, when I decided to talk about it on my little YouTube show, took off. I mean, I Thought that doctor was gonna propose. He was so excited. So, yes, I also think, foolishly, every actress or woman is going to talk about having their face work. But no, it's not. It's just me.

[Ben]

How recent.

[Kathy Griffin]

And a couple others. A couple others.

[Ben]

How recent was the three months ago?

[Kathy Griffin]

Wow.

[Ben]

Not a scratch.

[Josh]

No, I gotta say, wow.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I am no beauty, but he did a good job. Dan.

[Josh]

No, I can tell. No, you look, Dan, wonderful. You would love wonderful, Catherine. Catherine, you look fantastic. Being best. Call her a diet.

[Ben]

Get her back, baby. Call her. Diane. I said.

[Josh]

I said, Catherine, being best friends with Joan Rivers, do you ever have second thoughts going into surgery about what can go wrong during something?

[Kathy Griffin]

Let me say this. Let me say this.

[Josh]

Potentially elective.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay, I'm gonna be serious for a minute. I loved her like a sister, like a mother, like an aunt, like a cousin. I just. I loved every minute I spent with her. I think being the only woman of that stature in comedy. Remember, it was Moms, Mabelly, Phyllis Diller, Joan. Like, for years, it wasn't like. Then a bunch of women came along, and Joan kept saying, I thought after Phyllis being the only one and after Moms being the only one, like, there'd be this groundswell and all that. I actually think when you're a chick comedian, they just go for your looks. Like, my comments from Trumpers are just about my dry vagina, which I don't have. You're welcome. And how ugly I am. And I think that's probably why Joan did so much, because she was really pretty.

[Ben]

She.

[Kathy Griffin]

You know, I think after hearing that, day in and day out, like, I remember, I'm from a generation where these agents thought nothing back in the day of saying stuff like, yeah, they loved your audition, but they're gonna go, attractive, sorry.

[Ben]

Or, oh, I have had that.

[Kathy Griffin]

You with a nose job, you might have a chance. But, you know, so I went and got a nose job.

[Ben]

I've had two Jewish. Okay, okay, That's.

[Kathy Griffin]

Oh, yeah, we're not supposed to do that anymore. I know, I. But they do.

[Ben]

But now they go. Or then. Then for a while, when they were hip to that, they'd be like, more. They're going for more All American. And I'm like. I'm like, what do you mean?

[Kathy Griffin]

Because who are we fooling? I know when they say that, I just go, this is as attractive as I get. Sorry, but I'm done with my attractiveness.

[Josh]

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[Kathy Griffin]

Eh?

[Josh]

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[Katie Lee Beagle]

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[Ben]

Well, what do you think? Because we had the great Terry Dubrow on, famous plastic surgeon from Botch. And he. We actually talked about the surgery with Joan and he said you have to be careful when you're famous because when having a surgery, sometimes they don't want to risk doing anything that could. He's like, in that moment, they should have created a tracheotomy immediately opened up the airway. But they were probably nervous that we.

[Kathy Griffin]

Were to scar her.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I don't know. Melissa, her daughter knows all these details because she had to go through the horrible lawsuit. And she and her mom were so close. And Joan really lived for Melissa and Melissa's son Cooper. And the fact that they did that procedure in an office, I think is. My guess is that if Joan had been at a hospital, she would still be with us.

[Ben]

Unreal.

[Kathy Griffin]

Unreal. And also, when you're doing facework and you're on weekly television, people forget Fashion Police was every week. And then they did a lot of extra shows like Super Bowl, Fashion Week, Fashion Police. Fashion Week, Fashion Police, Academy Awards, Fashion Police. So she, Joan, and like me, Joan didn't like taking time off. So when you're getting that work done, you have to let yourself have like six weeks where you kind of settle.

[Ben]

Now, I heard you say on a pod the other day that someone like the guy who did Kris Jenner's facelift.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yeah.

[Ben]

That some people are able to charge upwards of a million dollars.

[Kathy Griffin]

I hear that there's six or seven guys now in Beverly Hills that are getting a million a facelift from these broads.

[Ben]

Wow. Wow.

[Kathy Griffin]

See, I'm just such a money person, I. I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. It's. It's maybe the best guy. I mean, but what I love about my D list life is I went to Kris Jenner's last Guy Smart. Not the Million Ponytail. Because they do this thing now called the Ponytail, where they. I don't know if they shave your head on top or what. They pull your whole face up as if you were putting yourself in a high ponytail, like Dan has done many times. In secret. Sure, in secret. And he's allowed to have his own life.

[Ben]

We have our peccadillo.

[Kathy Griffin]

Thank you. And that one's called the Ponytail. And that's what Chris got. But I went to her last guy, but it was not cheap. You ready? Give it 218,000.

[Ben]

Hell, yeah.

[Josh]

By the way, Kai, he's clearly Jewish.

[Ben]

218, Kai. Absolutely. A thousand percent. No question. Question. He's Jewish.

[Josh]

Colleagues.

[Kathy Griffin]

Because it's not appropriate if I say it.

[Josh]

He outed himself. No question. Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

Do you know how many dick jokes I have to tell for $218,000? I have to do at least two shows.

[Ben]

That. That's such a Jewish bait and switch, too, because they're like, cathala, don't think about the 200.

[Kathy Griffin]

No.

[Ben]

This 18,000 means so much.

[Kathy Griffin]

This is the one that takes it home.

[Ben]

That's unreal. I like that you like talking about money, because the great Robbie Hoffman says this whole idea of, like, not talking about it is how the rich keep the poor poor.

[Kathy Griffin]

Yes. Is Dan into Qanon at all?

[Ben]

No.

[Kathy Griffin]

Are you sure?

[Ben]

Al Anon.

[Josh]

I am Qanon. I am Qanon. Colleen, let me know. Can you talk about.

[Kathy Griffin]

I knew it.

[Josh]

Can we talk about Andy Cohen at all?

[Kathy Griffin]

Sure.

[Josh]

Or we hate him too much to talk about.

[Kathy Griffin]

Look, he won. He won the Game of Life. He's the executive there. He's probably why I'm not there anymore. He decides who the housewives are and who they're not. He's got a nightly show. I will say it is interesting to me that never in the history of television has the guy who decides what shows are on the air given himself a show that gets magically picked up every year while other shows get canceled. That's a new one on me. But he was a difficult boss. When I was doing My Life on the D list, I think that my part of it was I was too direct. And I think I thought I could talk. Like, the guys that I work with talk, which is like. Like, guys are no bullshit. They just go, that's a shitty note. I'm not doing it. If I could do it again, I probably. And this is terrible advice, and I'm, like, ashamed I'm being a bad feminist right now. I would probably have been kinder and gentler with Andy because I think he probably just thought, I'm kind of. I kind of want to be her. Like, he gave himself a show. He took the CNN New Year's Eve job. He likes being on television. I had never worked with an executive like that, so I was used to talking like a producer and going, this is good. This sucks. No, don't cut this. Please cut this. And I think that's not probably the best way to deal with it.

[Ben]

Do you think if you guys came together and worked together today, I mean, he was a baby producer then, just kind of.

[Kathy Griffin]

He wasn't even a producer then, right? Yeah.

[Ben]

And so do you think coming together now, do you think maybe he would have. With what?

[Kathy Griffin]

He's been pretty tough on me publicly. You know, there's a TMZ tape where somebody asks about him taking over the New Year's Eve job, which was really a dagger to me because I really loved Anderson Cooper and I thought we were like real friends and the whole spiel. And he just keeps saying, I don't know who she is. I don't know who you're talking about. I don't know who she is.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I, I, I, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be honest. I don't think he's wired that way to like, figure out a way to kind of bury it and come together. I mean, let me. And this is someone that was in a 10 year beef with Demi Lovato, and I was able to squash that beef. Wow.

[Ben]

I thought the only beef she had was with that yogurt shop in Westwood.

[Kathy Griffin]

That was delicious. That was good.

[Ben]

The Big Chill Shout out to the.

[Kathy Griffin]

Big Chill Shout out. Women shout.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I. And her beef with the yogurt shop was hilarious and comedy dream buried. But she was mad at me because I called her Debbie because being a boomer, I was using voice activation and it didn't know Demi. And so someone asked me on Twitter at 3 in the morning when I had done a double in Seattle, who's the biggest asshole you ever met in Hollywood? And I was like, probably Debbie Lovato. And then, you're bad.

[Josh]

You're bad with names. It's not your, your fault.

[Kathy Griffin]

Thank you, Dan.

[Ben]

And we know you're on yogurt Reddit.

[Kathy Griffin]

She doesn't know I'm on yogurt Reddit sub chats. And I started that whole thing, but I recently saw Debbie and I just went up to her and I said, look, just forgive me. I said, I'm an asshole. I should, I probably, Whatever I said, I probably shouldn't have said. I get a kick out of calling you Debbie. I know it's not your name, but if that can just be. If I can just have that one thing left, will you please forgive me? And she was like, all right. So I even hugged it out with Debbie.

[Ben]

That's huge.

[Kathy Griffin]

Huge. Because let me tell you, she has a fan army called the Lovatix and they don't play. They were posting pictures of my house, how to get to my house, where I go throughout the day. They had a mission, those lobotics. Yeah. And they were not happy with me.

[Ben]

Well, we have this segment where we listen to a fan message and maybe give some advice.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay.

[Ben]

It's one of our final segments. But I do want to say really quick, you know, you talked about your mother who was just the greatest, just.

[Kathy Griffin]

A natural funny, not never tried to be funny.

[Ben]

Just was funny and funny enough. My mom used to perform, do like a cabaret act for nursing homes in Beverly Hills. She met your mother.

[Kathy Griffin]

Watermark. Yeah. Holy shit balls.

[Ben]

Shout out the great Barbara Peck.

[Kathy Griffin]

Who puts on Great Barbara peck.

[Ben]

What a 45 minute show.

[Kathy Griffin]

I cannot wait. Imagine she's a show woman.

[Ben]

The American songbook.

[Kathy Griffin]

The old fashioned showmanship.

[Ben]

Rogers and Hammerstein.

[Kathy Griffin]

Let me tell you, no auto tune, honey.

[Ben]

None.

[Kathy Griffin]

She doesn't even know how to auto tune.

[Ben]

And she said, I met Kathleen Griffin's mother. She's fabulous. And you should see this place. The money Kathy must have.

[Kathy Griffin]

I knocked out a wall. I got two rooms and I made them give me a permit to knock out a wall to make it a suite because she wanted to have the biggest suite in the place. And she said the other celebrity old person there was attorney Robert Shapiro's mother. And she was always mad that I wasn't kind of as cool as the guy that got off O.J. yeah, sure, I know. I said, I just tell dick jokes. But he got off OJ So he wins.

[Ben]

Yeah, no, fair enough. You know, shout out the Shapiroes.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay. No harm meant at all. Said with love.

[Ben]

Okay, so this first one, if you want to ask us a question, go to speakpipe.com goodguys and we'll give you some advice. This first one is from Amanda. Here we go.

[Amanda (Caller)]

Hey, good guys. Love you both so much and I love your relationship. So I'm here for some relationship advice. My boyfriend and I moved in together. Things are getting serious, but I have a hold up and I'm wondering if I'm being too dramatic about this. My boyfriend really doesn't like to dance. He feels awkward on dance floors and hates it to the point where he absolutely dreads weddings. He doesn't mind going for the ceremony, but he always wants to leave right after dinner and feels so uncomfortable with the music and the dancing. I'm not really sure what to do here because I don't want to force him to always go to weddings with me. But I personally feel sad thinking that I'll have to leave all my friends and family's weddings early. I also can't imagine not Having the hora and dancing be a part of our wedding someday. At this point, I know that if a friend's getting married, I'll probably have more fun without him there because I can just dance and have fun without worrying about him. He's probably sitting at the table or kind of sulking. But I also think it would be crazy to travel to all these weddings, many of which are international by myself, just so that he doesn't have to go and have a bad time.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay, first of all, my first husband embezzled for me, so fuck you with your. My husband doesn't dance. Try having your husband steal your money anyway. Jesus Christ. Get him a folding chair and just be done with it. Say, here. Here's your chair. Shut the fuck up and stop sulking. No, I would say make a deal where he has to agree. Any guy can do that one slow dance where you're just kind of going like. You're, like, leaning on each other, like in high school. And if you can negotiate him down to, like, one slow dance where he won't be looking silly and he won't be doing the embarrassing white guy dancing, but he does have to stay while you're out there having fun with your girlfriends. Now, he can be at the bar. He can get a hooker.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

You know, pass the time. But I do get that you shouldn't have to leave a wedding early, but most street guys are not big dancers, in my experience. Yeah, but I don't think it's a deal breaker.

[Ben]

Right.

[Kathy Griffin]

I'm more concerned with the sulking.

[Josh]

For sure. The sulking was very strange. What do you mean? The wet blanket at the wedding. But also, she seems a little bit too excited for all of these weddings.

[Kathy Griffin]

Right.

[Josh]

At some point. At some point. I'm sorry. When the rubber meets the road. A wedding's A wedding's a wedding. I don't care how she's gonna. They are.

[Kathy Griffin]

Then she's gonna be going to divorce parties, so she better get used to that. That's coming down the park. So I say this. It's negotiable. But then at her own wedding, he. He has to suck it up and do one dance.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy Griffin]

Like at her own wedding at. For sure, for sure. He's got to. Just.

[Ben]

For sure.

[Kathy Griffin]

But he. Here's the problem. She's gotta go behind his back. Talk to that one bro he has that can get to him and be like, okay, let's say it's her. Dan? Dan.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

Can you please. It's me, Catherine. Yes, it's me. Diane.

[Josh]

Clifford.

[Kathy Griffin]

Can you just. Can you just see me? Gave me a D blade.

[Josh]

Clifford, the big red woman.

[Ben]

Serious?

[Kathy Griffin]

That's me. You got me nailed down. It's true. Okay, but she's. This is a negotiation where I say she involves the bro friend.

[Ben]

Okay, so our. What are you nuts? Moment of the week are gripes with people, places and things. It's our final segment. It's anything that's sticking in your craw, big and small. I'm sure it'll come easy for you. Take your time. Think about it.

[Josh]

Ben and I will start minus transition lenses. They're a complete. What are you nuts? People shouldn't own transition lenses.

[Ben]

We got Seinfeld over here. What do you deal with transition? What do you want?

[Kathy Griffin]

Do you want your reader and then your distance?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay, so you want to hair?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay, I want a sun.

[Josh]

I. I don't. It doesn't make any sense.

[Kathy Griffin]

And I. I miss just seeing really well with one or the other. So I'm with you on that.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And what happens when you walk inside after you were outside? All of a sudden you're in that period and people are like, what the hell is she doing?

[Kathy Griffin]

Yeah. You don't want to be the person wearing sunglasses inside.

[Josh]

No. You don't want to get caught.

[Kathy Griffin]

No.

[Josh]

Darryl. What are you nuts?

[Kathy Griffin]

All right, what's your light hearted grope. Grump? They just said grope, like I was gonna grope you. Which I'm not.

[Ben]

Is group chats. Text group chats. I'm in some. With my, My. My nuclear family. My close family. Okay, these are good. This is okay. This is shame. Anything else? I got kids in school.

[Kathy Griffin]

Right.

[Ben]

This is bad.

[Kathy Griffin]

So you, you always think like one of the kids are sick and it's blowing up. Okay, what about when you're in a group chat and then one asshole has the Android and it's a green, so then it's a green, but then it repeats the last comment.

[Ben]

It's unacceptable.

[Kathy Griffin]

And so you're not even sure if they're re. If they're drunk or. I don't even. And then you can't send a video. Oh, if it's an Android. And I'm sorry because I am under contract with Samsung. I'm their spokesperson. I'm kidding. I'm not under contract.

[Ben]

Can you imagine? Samsung was the only one who stuck with you.

[Kathy Griffin]

That would be amazing. And I wish I could say that were true.

[Ben]

I wish they're talk about you in Seoul, South Korea. They're like, we know she's being Investigated by the doj, but we have the galaxy.

[Kathy Griffin]

I was dropped by Squatty Potty and I am not kidding. You can look it up. Squatty Potty. The stool you put on your base of your toilet to help you take a number two easier. They were appalled by my terroristic photo. Squatty Potty. Wow.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Kathy Griffin]

That made me nuts. When Squatty Potty dumps you. And that is a bad pun. When Squatty Potty dumps you, it's bad. You've really pissed off the president. When Squatty Potty dumps you.

[Ben]

I'd rather have an uncomfortable BM than use Squatty Potty.

[Kathy Griffin]

How about that?

[Josh]

We'll use a China ripoff. Who cares? Colleen, where else can we find you? What else are we talking about?

[Ben]

What else?

[Kathy Griffin]

We watch the YouTube show every Tuesday. Kathy Griffin. Talk your head off. Off. I'm on Patreon. You have to pay. I'm sorry, I'm on substack. You have to pay for it. I'm sorry. I'm on all the other socials for free. I'm always posting, always doing crazy stuff. This week it's dating apps. You never know what it'll be next week because I am an open book.

[Ben]

Thank you for coming on.

[Kathy Griffin]

I love you guys. You're so awesome.

[Ben]

Love you.

[Josh]

The great Kathy Griffin. You guys know the deal. It's five stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Listen to us. Wherever you get your podcast, watch us on YouTube, share our clips, Instagram and TikTok Mondays and Thursdays, folks. Josh, we should really get a Patreon or a substack and make some money. Yep, we will. See ya.

[Kathy Griffin]

Okay, next time.

[Katie Lee Beagle]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.