Quit Lying to Short Kings

Summary

Podcast Summary: Good Guys - "Little Guy, Big Confidence"

Date: June 15, 2026
Hosts: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer
Guest: Brad Williams (Standup Comedian)

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Good Guys" delivers a blend of hilarious banter, candid neighbor gripes, and a deep-dive with comedian Brad Williams. Peck and Soffer muse about homeowner woes, car culture, class action scams, and male insecurities, leading into a highly entertaining and honest conversation with Williams around confidence, height, and living gratefully. The tone is warm, irreverent, and packed with memorable comedic moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Neighborhood Pet Peeves & Homeowners Association Rules

(00:25–05:33)

• Josh shares a 'war' with his new neighbor over garbage bins and the pettiness of homeowner association rules.
• Ben tells tales of getting fined in Florida gated communities for minor infractions and refusing to pay:

  "I got a hundred dollar bill. I was going 30 in a 25. You think I fing paid that sht? Fk no." (01:59, Ben)

• Discussion of the absurdity of HOA rules (e.g., leaving a car in your driveway overnight is banned), and their shared annoyance with meddling associations.

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2. Class Actions, Spam Texts, and Brand Communication

(06:00–09:21)

• Both hosts discuss class-action lawsuits: The hope for a big payout, disappointment in tiny settlements.
• Ben on being spammed by multiple kosher delis:

  "Now I'm pissed at you. Reach out to me when it matters—Valentine's Day, stock up on hot corned beef, hot pastrami for your wife. That's good, Josh. Not the—if you hit me too many times, I’m out." (07:23, Ben)

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3. Kids’ Sneakers and 90s Shopping Nostalgia

(09:22–11:04)

• Josh talks about trying to buy cool Jordans for his son, recalls East Bay catalogs, and the tragic results of Nike ID customization.

• "Turns out I’m not a great shoe designer." (09:51, Josh)
  "They ended up looking like clown shoes." (10:17, Ben)

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4. Car Culture, Collabs, & ‘Accessible Luxury’

(14:39–20:28)

• Josh and Ben riff on wild custom car colors, Mercedes' warnings on ugly build-outs, and the opportunity costs for manufacturers.
• Ben talks about the influencer "Gstaad Guy" and his Bentley collab:

  "He’s been pretending to be rich for ten years and built up this insane audience...Bentley approached him." (15:55, Ben)

• The pair imagine absurd brand collabs for themselves—Toyota Sienna, Sprinter Vans—and get nostalgic about Hasidic car shopping videos.
• The difference between shipping cars back and forth between FL and NY vs. the cost of NYC parking.

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5. Benihana Fame & Introducing Brad Williams

(20:28–22:24)

• Josh describes the Benihana experience with Ben:

  "Experiencing Benihana with Josh Peck is like being there with Leonardo DiCaprio." (20:51, Ben)

• Manager changed their hibachi chef mid-meal due to Josh’s celebrity status.

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6. Guest Segment: Comedian Brad Williams Joins

(22:24–57:39)

Benihana in Celebrity Homes

• Brad reveals Tyrese Gibson had his own Benihana with a former Benihana-trained chef in his backyard.

  "He has a Benihana in his backyard...his personal chef is a former Benihana chef." (23:08, Brad)

• Tommy Lee has a Starbucks in his house.

Segment: “If You Had All the Money, What Ridiculous Thing Would You Buy?”

• All brainstorm outlandish purchases: Panda Express in the attic, an in-home beauty med spa (Josh), a par-three golf course (Ben), VR room (Brad).

Gaming: Character Creation & Height

• Brad gets real about always making “little guys” in sports and wrestling games, even when larger avatars are possible:

  "If I’m playing...it’s always a little guy. I don’t know how to not be anything else." (32:36, Brad)

• The group jokes about wanting more customization: religious backgrounds, prayer breaks during games.

On Life with Dwarfism and Identity

• Brad introduces himself with comic candor:

  "I’m 52 inches tall, I’m a 4’4” man—a dwarf. I do not sound like one." (35:19, Brad)

• Married to a 5’7” Chinese martial arts instructor, daughter also has dwarfism.

Influencer Culture & Barriers of Entry

• Brad: Annoyed at people co-opting “comedian” and “influencer” labels without paying dues.

  "Are you a massage therapist or do you just love giving hand jobs?" (39:12, Brad)

Dating, Fetishization & Confidence

• Brad opens up about being fetishized:

  "There were women that...would want to...do stuff, whatever, and people would be like, ‘Yeah, but they’re only with you for your size.’ I’m like, so what?" (40:26, Brad)

  • Stresses the importance of humor and personality beyond the superficial.
• Ben and Josh joke about their own types being fetishized and straight talk about body confidence.

Community Questions & Dwarfism

• Brad on “little people” community and attitudes toward people who “pass” (like Danny DeVito):

  "We love Danny. Danny’s just really tiny...He’s never tried to say...He’s never been like, ‘me and Dinklage, right here.’" (49:18, Brad)

• Skepticism about limb lengthening surgery:

  "If you’re 5'5'' and you're like, ‘I gotta be 5'8'',’ go f*** yourself...You don’t know struggle." (52:40, Brad)

• Gratefulness as the antidote to insecurity:

  "You wake up every day, and if you're grateful...it really changes your perspective." (53:38, Brad) "Social media is partly to blame...it used to be we didn’t know what other people had." (53:56, Brad)

Memorable Comic Exchanges

• Brad:

  "I'm very thankful every day that missionary with eye contact does it for me. 100% thankful that I don't have to charge a car battery." (42:08, Brad)

• Josh, joking about intimacy:

  "Except you lost me at eye contact. What are you, nuts?" (42:46, Josh)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Little Guy, Big Confidence":

  "I was a guy that was friend zoned all throughout high school...I didn't lose my virginity till I was 20...If someone wants to, I don't care if it’s because I’m a little person, because I’ve got brown hair...They want to be with me. That’s what counts." (40:26–41:30, Brad)

• On Social Media Comparison:

  "For all intents and purposes, what you are seeing somebody else do is not real. You are never supposed to see it." (54:44, Ben)

• On Grateful Perspective:

  "Man, the other night I stayed in with my daughter...We had a giggle fest and it was great. You couldn't throw me in a nightclub that...where I would have had more fun." (54:16, Brad)

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Fun & Memorable Segments

• “What Ridiculous Thing Would You Buy?”
  Josh: An in-home med spa with all the beautification gadgets
  Ben: Sauna, cold plunge, par-three golf course
  Brad: VR room, and novelty about always being “the little guy” in games
• Gaming Character “Customization”
  Jokes around making religious or culturally accurate athletes in video games.
• Hilarious Gripes Segment: “What are you, nuts?” (58:00–60:38)
  • Josh: Flight attendant panics over turbulence and dumps water on him
  • Ben: Women downplaying compliments by bragging about bargain prices

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Important Guest Plugs

• Brad Willams' New Special: Live on Short Street
  Available on his YouTube channel (launched April 2026—nearing 700K views at air date).
• Podcast: Height and Babel with JB Ball—discussing bizarre news stories in comedic fashion.
• Tour Info: Summer break, resumes in the fall—dates at bradwilliamscomedy.com (implied).

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Timestamps - Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic / Quote | |-----------|---------------| | 00:25–05:33 | HOA complaints, neighbor fights | | 07:23 | Ben’s kosher deli text rant | | 09:22 | Custom sneakers, failure stories | | 14:39–20:28| Car culture, auto collabs | | 20:28–22:24| Benihana celebrity treatment | | 22:24 | Brad Williams joins | | 23:08 | Tyrese’s backyard Benihana | | 32:36 | On playing “the little guy” in video games | | 40:26–41:30| On being fetishized and owning confidence | | 49:18 | Danny DeVito and little person community | | 52:40 | Critique of limb-lengthening surgery | | 53:38 | Brad on gratitude and perspective | | 58:00–60:38| “What are you, nuts?” grievances | | 60:39–END | Show wrap, credits |

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Tone

The episode is a perfect fusion of Jewish-American humor, self-deprecation, and real talk about insecurity and gratitude. Brad Williams’ candidness sets a tone that's both deeply funny and refreshingly honest, making the episode both a laugh riot and genuinely insightful.

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For New Listeners

This episode is ideal for listeners who enjoy sharp comedic banter, honest self-reflection, and learning from a guest who’s mastered confidence against the odds. You’ll come away entertained, a little more grateful, and better prepared with snappy comebacks for HOA dramas.

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Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good guys. A Mother Stream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine.

[B]

It's a Good Guys.

[A]

And if you don't give us five stars. What are you nuts?

[B]

What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

[A]

They're not the great guys. We're just the good and good of the good guys. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast, Ben. I think I'm about to have a war with my neighbor.

[B]

Oh my God. What the hell happened?

[A]

I don't know. I got a little. This is a neighbor who I've never met and boy, did she have a comment for where I put my bins out when it's garbage day. I said, I said, but I, I just, I, I kept it low key. I kept it in the pocket. I said, this is where our waste management firm going to make it sound like a law firm. Our waste management, our waste management collective has asked me to place said bins. Ma', am, I'm only talking to her in legalese. So if you wish to bring about a complaint, I. I suggest you submit it to who gives a shit. Okay.

[B]

By the way, good luck. You sent her to waste management. She's dead. You don't go and talk to those guys. You do exactly what they say. Because you talk to them, you tell them something they don't want to hear, all of a sudden you're in the.

[A]

Does you know, I know that like most Florida people that, you know, you're some of your family in Florida, they live in these gorgeous communities. Very secure, very beautiful, you know, very amenities.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But here's the other side of that. There's a lot of rules and regs.

[B]

Rules and absolutely regs, big time. Oh yeah.

[A]

Do you ever hear about that? Yeah, tell me, Josh.

[B]

I've gotten speeding tickets for money.

[A]

They can't charge you money.

[B]

I got charged money and I don't even live there. I got a bill. I don't even live there. I got a hundred dollar bill. I was going 30 and a 25, I got a bill. You think I fucking paid that shit? Fuck no. You want to come to my house, fucking seize me. Take me, seize me. I'm not paying that shit.

[A]

Seize it up. But I wonder if they can then impose that on who you are a

[B]

guest of and say totally possible. You want to come seize me? Yeah, I don't know who I'm asking to seize me. Somebody's got to seize me. I'm not paying that shit. So unless somebody comes to me and it's like, you got to fucking pay that shit.

[A]

Season.

[B]

I'm not paying.

[A]

I don't even eat Caesar salads. I'm so against seizing.

[B]

I'm against seizing. Or actually, I'm pro seizing. I'm telling you to seize me. Yes. And Season.

[A]

One of Paj's family members lives up in Northern California in a beautiful gated community. And they were like, we're not allowed to leave a car in our driveway overnight.

[B]

Facts.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, it's all crazy. It's all crazy. I don't know who it's written by. And these homeowners associations across America need to find other things to do. They need to find other things to do, Josh.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

They have too much time to impose inconveniences on people. Okay? Too much time. But wait, I need to understand. So you got in a terrible fight with your new neighbor. Is this a neighbor that just moved in?

[A]

I don't know where she came from, to be honest. It was, like, out of my periphery. And it was early this morning, because God forbid this is a real homeowner. God forbid you forget to put your bins out on. On pickup day for garbage.

[B]

Ugh.

[A]

You have to sit in your own filth for another week.

[B]

Oof.

[A]

No, thanks. So I'm on it.

[B]

And they won't pick up off schedule. Like, if you needed them to, could you call them, pay a little extra scratch and get it done?

[A]

You'd have to call a server. Like, you'd have to call them and actually pay a fee. Like, there wouldn't be like, yo, Joey, come. Come by my place. I mean, I guess I lace them up every couple months, so maybe if I saw them on another day in a different part of town, and I was like, come on by. But, you know, they got to be careful, right? Because what if they get in an accident on your street and then their boss goes, well, why were you there?

[B]

They'd lie. Lie through their teeth. They would never tell the truth. In that instance, neither would I. Okay? And I'm a novice in this, so you don't have to pay for the garbage pickup like in my building in New York. I guess the building doesn't pay for it. It's just a part of your taxes. They come around and they pick up garbage. This is a private service, okay? Understood? Yeah, understood.

[A]

I don't think we're paying for it. No, I think it's part of our taxes.

[B]

Our taxes? Our taxes.

[A]

Every six Months. And they never forget. You ever wish they would forget? Once, Once a while.

[B]

New York, New York, they forget. Okay, what do you mean? The city is fucking disgusting.

[A]

No, I mean forget taxes.

[B]

Oh, they don't forget taxes.

[A]

Imagine April 15 came around and the IRS said, We'll get you next year.

[B]

I thought you were saying that the garbage men never forget. I was. Like, in New York, they forget. They forget. No, the IRS doesn't forget, Josh. Or maybe they'll make you think they forgot and then in three years we didn't forget. Ok, just. If you think they forgot, they didn't. Just know. They know. You think you outsmarted them. Oh, they haven't come to me this year. They're coming. They're fucking coming, bro.

[A]

Again. You know, love them or hate them. The most Trump thing I've ever heard is I read in the Post today that Trump just dropped his lawsuit against the irs. I mean, who comes for the IRS except Donald J. Trump going, you think you're going to get me? I get you first.

[B]

Oh, man. Yeah, that's. By the way, it takes fudgeing balls to sue the irs.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Damn. God, that's a big onus. But I was good. I get scared of the prospect of being sued by anyone. Imagine being sued or countersued by the irs. I think I would have a heart attack before I'd have to pay anything. It's terrible for my family.

[A]

I don't really worry about being sued for things that are. Because, like, I live a pretty, pretty clean life. Right. My fear is to get sued and then just get caught in something that I know I'm going to win, but I'm going to have to fight it.

[B]

Yeah, no, you just, you can't get caught in it. You can't want to win. You just. I don't want it. I'll get those random emails. Oh, you purchased X Drug between these years. You're entitled.

[A]

Class action. I've been looking for a class action my whole life.

[B]

The problem is, Josh, these class actions, big fancy headline. 50 million bucks goes to 50 million people, right? That's the class action.

[C]

So what?

[B]

I'm going to fill out a form for a dollar. So last one, it was like $35. I think I could have been a part of the 23andMe lawsuit. I don't know if he ever did that. I seem to be somebody. I seem to fall for these companies that then end up in class actions. I've had a couple of them.

[A]

I, yeah, I get, I get invited to class actions. All the time. And once I actually saw it through and they sent the check for $30 and I was afraid to cash it because it seemed too good to be true.

[B]

It's funny. I wouldn't cash it. I feel like it comes with strings. Then all of a sudden, you're on a list, right? Right. You're on that fucking list. I don't know what the list is used for, but they use it for something. Keep me off your lists. I don't wanna be on a list, Josh. Speaking of which, I showed you my texts when we were together on Friday, recorded in person, which, let me tell you, there's nothing like being in person with you. Nothing. And I had just gotten a text from Ben's Deli because I somehow have found myself now on four different marketing text threads from four separate kosher delis. Some accepted Ben's 2nd Ave. Carnegie Pastrami Queen. All four of them. I've received texts in the last six months. Now, look, it's a lovely message if it's pre Super Bowl. Hey, we have a Super bowl platter. Are you interested? Please don't text message. Market me. Ben's Deli on a random Friday weekend plans. Not you, not you. Now I'm pissed at you. Reach out to me when it matters. Valentine's Day, stock up on hot corned beef, hot pastrami for your wife. That's good, Josh. Not the I. If you hit me too many times, I'm out.

[A]

It's the biggest mistake a company will make. I just had it happen when I bought my kid some shoes. He really wanted these specific. Like these dope, like, again, an olive green, but like these dope green Jordans, okay? Because everyone in his class are getting Jordans. And he wants to be part of the cool kids. And I'm like, nordstrom Rack.

[B]

That's where it's at.

[A]

That's where the cool kids shop.

[B]

He goes, no, dad, he's on to you.

[A]

I don't want fucking salmon.

[B]

Adidas.

[A]

Really spring for sneakers?

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

So I ordered them from that. The wss. What's it called? What's it called? Whole Shoes. Shoes.

[B]

Josh, is East Bay still around? You remember East Bay?

[A]

Remember the catalog from East Bay? It was like the size of a bible.

[B]

Of course I do. Was so fucking sick.

[A]

So sick.

[B]

So sick.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Nothing cooler than sneaker shopping in a magazine. I wouldn't buy any of them, but, man, did I love my Nike IDs. Did you ever do a Nike ID?

[A]

Yeah, and it never came Together. Well, it turns out I'm not a great shoe designer.

[B]

Awful. Awful. They should really. Nike ID thinking about it. That's a woody. Enough that they didn't look at the shoe that you made and tell you it would be fucking ugly. Like they should. They should have just consulted a little like, hey, I know you picked all of the colors of the rainbow, but. But we don't think that that would go well with fur. And totally, yeah, they were terrible. They ended up looking like clown shoes. I also think at one point, Levi's ended up doing something similar. And. No, not Levi's. What's the name of that sneaker brand? The original sneakers that were in the NBA.

[A]

The Spalding?

[B]

No, but the star. The star on the sky.

[A]

Converse.

[B]

Converse. Thank you. Thank you. Converse did a custom. I made bowling shoes. The kids made fun of me. I wore them once. Three on three. They're like, ben, you're wearing fucking bowling shoes. I'm like, I designed these myself. They're like, this is your problem. You're wearing Converse bowling shoes. Oh, it's seared in here, Josh. It's seared.

[A]

I'm Virgil Abloh.

[B]

More like Virgil Fatso.

[A]

I'm Virgil Fatso.

[B]

I'm Virgin Fatso. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at SeatGeek. Folks. It's Ticket season. Season tickets, ticket season. They're everywhere. Oh, my God, there are so many games to go to. The NBA Finals, the World cup, so many concert. I'm taking my dad to James Taylor. I got the tickets on SeatGeek. You need to check SeatGeek. You're going to anything. Concert, sporting event, you name it. You must check SeatGeek, folks. With over 35 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals. You know, a festival. It's festival season. Check SeatGeek. There's so many artists going on tour right now. We're talking Bruno Mars, Ariana Grande, Morgan Wallen. Who cares about them? James Taylor at Jones Beach. Are you kidding me? Plus, the US Is hosting the World cup this year, so grab your tickets now. I love SeatGeek. Look at this. Look at all of these. Let me read you a couple. Okay? Spurs, Nicks. My God, what a game that's gonna be. Brazil, Morocco. Malcolm Tut at Radio City Musical. They have everything, folks. They have everything in SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10. So you know you're getting a good deal. Look for those green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Honestly, you deserve it if you're going to buy red dot tickets. It says red. 10 grand for the last row. What are you, nuts? Buy a good ticket, good value. That's why you're on SeatGeek. We're trying to get great deals here. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this? I'm about to make. Your freaking summer concert season has officially started. To make it even better, you can use code goodguys10 for 10% off your SeatGeek tickets. I'm giving you a free gift. I'm paying for a tenth of your concert ticket. That's 10% off tickets with promo code GoodGuys10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, Seatgeek 10% off Good Guys 10. 10% off your concert tickets. You're welcome. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Hint Water. Mmm. Water. Folks, I need to tell you something. Okay. I have a confession to make. I have fallen in love. I've fallen in love. I'm smitten. I'm smitten. Let me tell you, I've always loved water. I love water. Some people don't like water.

[C]

Ooh.

[B]

I am a hydration king. But let me tell you, no water. No water is like Hint Water. Okay? Hint Water is it. And I'm not embarrassed to say it. It is absolutely fantastic. Again, I'm a water lover, and this water is better than water. Let's talk about watermelon. The flavor, my God, you don't want that overpowered. I didn't want watermelon juice. I wanted water. I wanted water. But with watermelon, or the pineapple, BlackBerry, grape, peach, raspberry. My God, the flavors are amazing. And again, it's like spa water. It's an aroma. It's there, but it's not. It's hydrating. It's not. It's not overpowering. It's the perfect name. Hint Water. It makes so much sense. Hint Water. Hint has no sugar, no sweeteners, and no calories because it's just water with fruit essences. Water that makes you crave water because water is delicious. But spa water is better. You walk into this beautiful spa, all of a sudden they have watermelon in the water. That's the best water you've Ever had. I have fallen in love. I've fallen in love. I'm smitten. Try. Hint. Now available [e-mail] and in stores nationwide. Hint.

[A]

Mmm. Water. You know that Mercedes does this which. If you go through the process of designing a car.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you want a. A very loud. Because you know Mercedes, when you're dealing with like the really high end cars, the G wagon, CS class, you know, these rich people, they want weird colors. You know, they get, they really go kilter.

[B]

They do.

[A]

And sometimes they'll pick like paints that are 5, 10, 15,000 with wild ass interiors. Red interior, blue. Like. And if you pick a particularly ugly package, they call you and they go, listen, we think this is going to be ugly as fuck. So what they're really doing is trying to protect themselves because usually you only have to put a small down payment to have the car built. Because they go, look, if they don't accept it, we'll take their five, someone

[B]

else to buy it. Sure.

[A]

And we'll sell it somewhere else. And a silver G wagon with black interior, no problem. But if you pick an orange G wagon with hot red interior, like this one's going to. We're going to take a hit on this. So they'll be like, we want 20 grand to make this.

[B]

Like. Yeah, that makes.

[A]

You got to commit.

[B]

You got to commit to it. Do you know this Gestod guy?

[A]

Gestod?

[B]

Yeah, he's like a. He's an online. I was at the same influencer. He, he like has this shtick that you've definitely seen where he like pretends to be super rich. And his handle is Gestad guy, whatever. He just did a collab with Bentley, Josh. He's been pretending to be rich for 10 years and built up this insane audience. Yeah. And Bentley approached him and he just made 25 limited edition Gad Guy Bentleys.

[A]

No way.

[B]

How sick is that?

[A]

So sick.

[B]

You'll look it up and you'll know his face and like his like video type. But I saw that, I was like, wow, that is so cool and so smart of Bentley to attach themselves to this. Like, even though it's fake, this like it's the pinnacle of luxury is what he is mocking and talks about.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And he made just the sickest, sickest Bentley crossover. It looks like a Subaru Bentley. It's sick.

[A]

Oh really? I gotta see. Yeah. Who could be a funny collab? Maybe like a Jake Shane Bentley.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, a Jake Shane. Anything.

[A]

So good.

[B]

Just so good.

[A]

With like a little medication compartment. And something to freeze your popsicles. I love Jake.

[B]

Just like. And just a chest for his raw octopus.

[A]

So good.

[B]

So good. Oh, who would we collab with?

[A]

Dr. Scholl's Merrill's own car? Something sprinter van. Something fat.

[B]

Yeah. I think it would be the Toyota minivan.

[A]

Toyota. But we would have it with access built into. So it's got the metal ramp that comes down and can lift up a wheelchair.

[B]

You see in that video. I think I might have sent it to you. It's this Hasidic guy. He's looking through cars to get. And it's like what I buy for my big Jewish family.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it shows like an Escalade. It's like, ew, no. And it shows like a tile. Yuck. That's disgusting. It gets to a new minivan. It's like, yucky. And then it gets to this just like the Sienna used. And it's like, that's the one.

[A]

2012.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

It's a great car. They seem to last forever. We need to do a collab. Toyota Sienna. This is it. This is what you're missing.

[A]

A hundred percent. Although I will say and shout out to my boy who works at Ford, I did drive the Ford Expedition for two weeks. This is like their large size suv, fully kitted out. Platinum.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And it was in this beautiful. Again, like a olive green.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The Ford Expedition. I. I think it's going to be our next car. I just think it's got it all

[B]

going on because the Ford Exposition is a great car. It's in that. It's in that class of cars that I just love, too. Just big freaking cars.

[A]

It's freaking big. And inside it's like ultra luxury, but outside it's like accessible. It's not like I'm not putting out airs. No airs from me.

[B]

No, no, no, no. You don't need it. You don't need it. Of course not, Josh. Tomorrow. We just got down to Florida. We're here for a couple of weeks. My car's in New York, so I called our friends at gmc. They're sending me a Yukon. I'll let you know how it goes.

[A]

Hell, yes.

[B]

Yukon's just like an Expedition. It's just those big, beautiful, beefy cars. The Suburbans, the Expeditions, the Escalades.

[A]

So true.

[B]

The Yukon, the GMC branded. It took me a long time to realize that that GMC brand was also the Suburban, which was also the Yukon, which was also the Denali. They're all the Same car? Yes. Am I blowing your mind?

[A]

I'm realizing something that is the epitome of one of your nuts. You were in Florida for months.

[B]

Yes, months. Months.

[A]

You came back to New York, I guess, because you're going to Hamptons. Okay. Because you. You shipped the X7 down and back up.

[B]

No, I didn't ship it. I didn't ship it back up. That's why I don't have it. It's not here. No, no, I shipped it. I shipped it from. I shipped it from New York to Florida when we were here for a while, and then I shipped it back.

[A]

So you have it in. In.

[B]

In New York for a while? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'll have it for the next five months here. Yeah. No, I'm gonna ship it back and forth every six months, and I'm still coming out in the green, baby. The amount of money that I was spending on New York parking, every minute that it's here, I win every minute. Now I'm screwed. But I wasn't going to ship it back and ship it back. So our friends at gmc.

[A]

Wow. Shout out, friends.

[B]

Our friends shout out the friendos MC Josh. We had quite the weekend. I think we did discuss it. Okay. First and foremost, Josh came, flew in this beautiful man. Flew in Friday for a Saturday. Dear Media irl, we had hibachi Benihana. This man, let me tell you, you'll never get to experience it. I'm so sorry, but experiencing Benihana with Josh Peck is like being there with Leonardo DiCaprio.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

We were getting served bottles of Saratoga. We didn't even order. I said, can I have tap? He said, no, you can't have tap Saratoga. We had Josh, the hibachi chef came in, all of a sudden, the manager yanked him by his throat. He said, this is not good enough for Josh Peck son. And gave a new hibachi chef. Am I exaggerating?

[A]

No. He literally halfway through him going to. You're going to be having the Rockies choice, and you'll be having the shrimp, and you'll be, why? What? And all of a sudden, the manager there, who you could tell takes no guff, was like, Sergio. And he's like, bye. And he has to push his card out sadly, like, eeyore. Fuck.

[B]

It was terrible.

[C]

It was terrible.

[A]

It was upsetting.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It was not the best, but, God, being at Benahanna, granted, coming into New York and Ben wants to go to Benahanna, I go, we have this in la.

[B]

We are interrupting Hibachi talk because, Josh, please.

[A]

We have the great Brad Williams here standing standup comedian. He's got a new hour standup special live on Short street, premiering on his popular YouTube channel. It came out April 12, and it's already approaching 700,000 views. The guy is brilliant, and we have him here. Welcome, Brad Williams. Thank you for coming on.

[C]

Are you kidding me? Thank you for having me. And, yeah, as we mentioned, I'm here to talk about my special, but I'm more here to educate you guys and really dive in. Do a Benihana deep dive.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

That. That's why I'm here. It's just for hot Benihana talk. We're talking. We're talking shrimps and hats. We're. We're doing all. We're doing all the moves.

[B]

All the moves. And, and right. As you hopped on, we were just talking about Benihana and you mentioned. Have you heard of what. Say it again.

[C]

I believe it's called Gibbie Hana. It's Tyrese Gibson's Benihana that he has in his backyard.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

That's wealth.

[C]

This is one of those, what would you do with all the money? And the question is some really crazy stuff. Yes, he has, he has a, he has a Benihana in his backyard. He has a. His personal chef is a former Benihana chef, so.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Trained in all the, all the strobe lights and all the volcanoes. I don't know. I, I don't know where you go. Like, is there, is there an official Benihana training place that's like, no, we only do volcanoes here. Like, I, I, I don't know what it is, but I know Tommy Lee has a Starbucks and Tyrese had a Benihana. He moved out of that property, which is so disappointing. You think you stay there forever.

[A]

Tommy Lee has Starbucks in his house?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. I don't know what the.

[B]

Wrong. People have too much money, Josh, because if we had this money, this is what I'm doing with it. Okay. I don't know why you don't hear about this more often. You'd have a Panda Express, right? Yeah, why not? I'd throw a Panda Express in the attic. Right. When you're feeling really sad or in the basement, you just go up to eat your weight and General Chow's chicken, I think the attic. That way you can sneak out the window and jump right off.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

That's the, that's the exit plan.

[C]

So, so that's the question is, what ridiculous thing? And we're not talking about, you know, we're not. We're not talking about giving the money to charity, setting up, buying real estate. Like, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What is your. What is your stupid purchase? What is your stupid purchase with all the money? Do you go the route of. Of Tommy Lee, where you get that Starbucks? Is there another chain restaurant? I mean, there. There were ads run running last year during the football season that it's an ad, but I think it was devonte Adams was like, oh, he's got a Taco Bell in his mansion. That's not a crazy premise. Because if you had enough money, why wouldn't you.

[A]

Who's maintaining the equipment, Brad? Who's maintaining the ice cream machine? Stop it, guys. You're talking. By the way, I went to Tommy Lee's house in Calabasas once. I saw no Starbucks.

[B]

This is a hired gun. A hired gun, Josh. That's who maintains the ice cream machine. And you wouldn't put your Starbucks in your Calabasas home. That's cheap. You're putting it in your Austin, Texas home, obviously. Is that where it is, Brad?

[C]

I remember it being in an episode of MTV Crib. So maybe that was a house that he moved out of. There. There. I'm. I'm not sure, but I know at one point there was a Starbucks. Just like at one point. Tyrese. That's what you get when you make Transformers and Fast and Furious is you can throw a Benihana in your house. Do you put a go kart track in your backyard? Do you own. Do you own a topgolf? What are you doing? Like, what's your.

[B]

God, Brad?

[A]

What's your.

[B]

So many good ideas. You have so many good ideas. I want to topgolf in my house. That sounds so fun. I love golf. I love topgolf. It's fantastic. I. I was thinking too small. I was thinking. I just want. I'd love a 711 so that I have the soda machines and I have the coffee machines.

[C]

Oh, that's too easy.

[B]

You're right. What is this, child's play? This costs 10 grand. I could go do it right now.

[C]

Yes, you can go. You can own a giant soda dispenser and then just have whatever syrups and.

[B]

Josh, we're doing life wrong. We're doing life wrong. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Chilipad by Sleep Me. Alright, morons, listen up, because this one is for every single one of you who's still sweating through your sheets while your AC is cranked down to the lowest possible setting, your wife is wrapped up like a burrito under 17 blankets. You're lying there next to her, generating enough body heat to warm a small village. Does that seem familiar? The thermostat is set to whatever temperature Lost the last argument, folks. And shocker. Nobody is sleeping. Well, what do you Nuts? Meet the Chillipad 2.0, the completely redesigned, upgraded, and now even better bed cooling system that ends the thermostat war for good. Because quality sleep should not depend on who won the last fight about the temperature, folks. The Chilipad 2.0 is a serious upgrade from what came before. The new dock is quieter with a bigger internal water tank, so you're not stopping to refill it every couple of days. The topper is now a premium waterproof cover that unzips and goes right in the wash. Because life with kids is messy and your sleep setup should be easy, the nightstand remote is the part I want every moron listening to hear. Each side of the bed gets its own dedicated physical thermostat with sensors that detect the moment you get into bed and automatically kick off your sleep program. No apparent. No fumbling with your phone at midnight. You just get in and it handles everything. That's how good gear works, folks. Visit www.sleep.me goodguys to get your Chilipad 2.0 and save up to $255 with code goodguys. This special offer is available for listeners of the Good Guys only and for a limited time. Plus, it ships free and you can try it risk free for 30 days with flexible payment options and financing options. And if you don't like it, return it at no cost. That's Sleep Me Good Guys, because Chilipad is cheaper than couples therapy and more effective than the thermostat, this episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Zenni. Folks, you know my wore on glasses. Okay, you know why I have a War on Glasses? I have a War on glasses because I lose them. I have a War on glasses because I scratch them and I have a war on glasses because it's too overpriced. It's something I just. I'm sorry. I'm not the type of person. It's why I don't wear a watch. I'm not the type of person that thinks about treating these things well. I don't like expensive things. I really don't. And that's why Zenni is such a game changer for me. Zenni is an online eyewear shop we're talking prescription glasses, sunglasses, blue light lenses starting at under $30. So I'm gonna buy a pair of sunglasses, I lose them, so what? So what? I'll buy another pair. You go to Zenny Z e n n I dot com, pick a free, upload your prescription and they ship it to your door. No appointment, no store, no upsell at the counter, no nothing shady. And at that price, something kind of shifts you. Stop asking, do I really need a new pair of glasses? And start asking, why wouldn't I just get them? You're not agonizing over one pair. That has to do everything for the next two years. Maybe you lose it, maybe you get scratched, who cares? Get the fun ones, get the ones for work. Get the pair that only matches one outfit. And at under 30 bucks, you do not have to justify it. We're talking over 150,000 five star reviews. And if you've never bought glasses online before, Zenny has a virtual try on so you can see exactly how the frames will look on your face before you commit. Let me tell you, I'm zennied out because at under 30 bucks, it's a wood of you nuts not to get Zenny. If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zeny z e n-n I.com podcasts and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order. The styles sell out, so don't sit on it. That's z e n-I.com podcast promo code podcast15.

[A]

I would do the most celebrity gay thing, which is I would have like my own beauty med spa in my house, fully kitted out and it would just be an excuse to be able to do whip it whenever I want

[B]

because they always give it to me

[A]

when I get a face laser. I need an exit whenever possible. This is legal. Good night, Sally. It's like I call my MJ Light, but I. Yeah, and like to me we get massages and, and have all the machines there and just stay forever young. Oh, my wife would love it.

[B]

I don't have an original thought. Brad, you say something. I agree with you. Josh, you say something. I agree with you. Having a masseuse, having the cold plunge steam room sauna and the masseuse that we put in there. That's good.

[C]

So what, so what's your hobby then? Let's try to figure out your original thought. What was your hobby?

[B]

Golf. I love golf. That's why the top golf was great. Maybe we put in a hole. Okay, maybe we Put in a couple of holes. You come over to my house. I have a par three course in the back. That's money well spent.

[C]

So. Yeah. So Mark Wahlberg in his old house had three holes. So he had. I'm, I'm way too into celebrity homes that.

[B]

I love it. I love it.

[C]

I've not been to any of these homes, but I know, but I know Mark Wahlberg had a three hole course in, in his backyard. So just that for you where you're just bombing part threes and eventually you're, you're gonna get that hole in one.

[B]

Yeah, of course. Because it's mine. It's always there.

[C]

Yeah, I believe that. For. I don't know if you guys know what a sandbox VR is. No, that sandbox VR is where, you know, you got the headset, but you got these wristbands and everything is on you and it's full, it's rooms and you, you're running around the room doing a VR game and I might, I'm, I might throw that in my house.

[A]

Okay, this is, this is a very deep question, Brad, and I don't mean to get too personal, but I'm going and tell me if I shouldn't. When you are playing video games and you create a character, what height we picking?

[C]

One would think that if I'm in the virtual world that I would be like, well, no, I'm going to make myself a 6 foot 8 black guy.

[B]

That's what I always do, by the way. That's what I always do. NBA 2K. I'm 68 black with an afro. Facts.

[C]

Some, some would say that that's what, what, where I should go. But I don't know what it is about me. But if I'm playing modern NBA, if I'm doing a pro wrestler, that's a creative wrestler, if I'm doing, it's always a little guy. I don't know how to not be anything else. Like when I played Golden Axe, you guys played the Golden Axe Arcade way back in the day. Maybe it was, it was always a dwarf with a battle axe. That's what, that's what I was. And I think you've discovered something within me that I'm no doubt going to have to talk to my therapist about.

[B]

Josh is good at that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Why am I just going with the, with the creative players and I would get mad at creative wrestlers in wrestler video games where like the max height was like 5 foot 2. Like that's the lowest you can go. I would get upset. I'd be like, no, I need 4 foot 4. That is my height. I need 52 inches. That's what I. That's what I need to go up against the big show. 52 inches.

[A]

4, 4 is hot, by the way.

[B]

I'm. I'm with you. That's so true, Josh. Why could we never pick religion in these games? Yeah, I want a nice. I want a nice yarmulke for my nice Jewish six, eight black guy. Why couldn't I be represented? Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I couldn't have any pay us or sits it or something that goes on this huge man. Yes, I needed that.

[A]

My 6, 3 Asian basketball player is Sunni. And I want to be able to. I want to be able to say it.

[C]

Why not? If there's a. If, if there's a game at a certain hour, he does have to be on the bench so he can pray towards Mecca.

[A]

Yeah, correct.

[C]

That you need to have. And like, maybe if you're doing season mode, his energy levels are less during Ramadan.

[B]

Things take into consideration after quarters, laying down a rug. You need these things in game mode. I couldn't agree more. Wow.

[C]

I think this is a fascinating psychological profile. What is your creative character? Do you go more like yourself? Are you more of a fantasy? Are you so far left that. Do you feel that if you make yourself a 6 foot 5 black guy, is that virtual gaming blackface? I.

[A]

Love.

[B]

Oh, Brad. I love you, Josh. I'm in love with Brad. Oh, my God.

[A]

Join the club.

[B]

Oh, Brad. So for our listeners, can you tell us a little bit more about yourself just in case they don't know you? We talk to a lot of millennial women, Brad, and we're creating a lot of new fans for you. Okay? So the great Brad Williams. I'd love to just two minutes on Brad.

[C]

Okay, first of all, if you're only listening to this in your earbuds, I had mentioned earlier, I am 52 inches tall, that I'm a 4 foot 4 man. I'm a dwarf. A little person. Person of short stature. I do. I. I do not sound like one. I'm not here. Like, I'll. Come on, talk to the gun. No, Like, that's how he thinks I'm gonna talk. That's not how I'm gonna talk. Right. Think about me. I. I'm. I'm married to a 5 foot 7 Chinese martial arts instructor.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I did it, buddy. I did it. I'm living. And my daughter is six years old. She also has dwarfism. And we have. And, and we have Two pit bulls. That's my life. Yeah, man.

[B]

And you have a brand new special. Where do you live, Brad?

[C]

I, I live in LA and I, I was born and raised in Orange County, California. I will never move out of this state. You can have all the comics go to Austin, Texas that you want. They can move to New York, Nashville, wherever. I am staying, and I'm staying in California. I'm a lifelong die hard Ducks of Ducks of Anaheim fan. So I love hockey, love the Denver Broncos, but they're not getting me out of L. A. I will stay. I will stay here till the day I die.

[B]

Wow. And did we vote for Prattle? Did we vote for Pratt?

[C]

No,

[A]

friend of the show. Friend of the show, like you.

[B]

No, I still love it. I still love it.

[C]

Listen, guys, I'm not gonna say who, I'm not gonna. No, you don't have to say who I voted for, but I'm typically not a political comic. I don't like to get into it that much and I'm not smart enough to do so. So. So just know that any views I have come from a guy that did not graduate from usc. I went, but I did not graduate. I was a year, I was a year away, found stand up comedy and I was like, I'm going to do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You think you'll ever go back and finish? You had one year left. What was your major?

[C]

Communications. So it's not a waste. Exactly.

[A]

You went to. You paid 60,000 a year at USC

[B]

for communication, by the way, Brad, I'm just letting you know. You could also just tell people you graduated.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[C]

I'm not good at lying.

[B]

No, it's not a lie. Just say it enough and it's the truth. It's called brainwashing yourself.

[C]

I feel like my mother, God rest her soul, she's still alive, but she would be over my shoulder just going, you never graduated. You never graduated. Why are you telling people that you graduated? So that's why I can't do it.

[B]

Fine. But now I'm thinking, you say I went to usc. That's true.

[C]

Yes. I.

[B]

Nobody, nobody thinks that went to usc doesn't mean didn't graduate. You went to US I went, I went to Harvard once

[C]

for a day.

[B]

Have you seen that, Josh? Literally, the people who go to these Harvard Business School classes, they're two weeks, they're like, I went to Harvard.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And they were. Oh, and they wear the sweater.

[B]

They got the truly true Josh. They went to Harvard.

[C]

I think every industry kind of has this because Right now as a stand up comic, like, this is my job. I, I do it, I do it every week. I, I can't make money unless I hop on a plane and leave. So it's like, I'm a road dog. This is what I do. But there are now there's a bunch of YouTubers, influencers, whatever out there that do it a couple times and go, I'm a comedian too. No, you're not. Excuse me? No, you're not. Yeah, you know, like I'm in. I'm an influencer. Okay. Who are you influencing besides your 250 followers? Like you actually influencing. It's like there, there needs to be barriers of entry, you know? Are you a massage therapist or do you just love giving hand jobs?

[B]

Correct.

[C]

Like what do you like, there needs to be barriers.

[B]

Oh, Brad. That's what I'm having in my house. Okay. That's what I'm having. A happy ending shop in my house. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. It's going to be a complete, it's going to be a clone of my wife. There's no dirty, nothing dirty going on here. But I'm going to get a massage followed by a hand job whenever I want in my own house.

[C]

I love, I love that you are married and you go, well, I wouldn't subject my wife to jerking me off.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no. That's what AI is for. That's what AI is for. I don't even care if it's you. By the way. She walks in in the beginning, she says, man, I'm so happy you're here. She leaves, Brad walks in. That's good enough for me. Okay, I'm good. I don't know. I'm good, right? That's fine. Yes.

[C]

And that's true. Like I, I get that a lot, A lot of guys have the fantasy about being with person and I totally understand it. Do women bigger, like, you know, do

[A]

women have the reverse fantasy, Brad? Like, do you, Were you ever before you met your beautiful wife, were you ever fetishized?

[C]

You damn right I would.

[A]

Hell yeah, say more, Brad.

[C]

Yeah, I, it always fascinated me when I would talk about this. Like, I'd be like, yeah, there were women that after shows, average sized, tall women that would want to, you know, do stuff, whatever, and could be like, yeah, but they're only with you for your size. And I'm like, so what? I don't totally why they're with me. They want to be with me. I was a guy that was, that was friend zoned all throughout high school. I didn't lose my virginity till I was 20. Like, they're like, oh, but you're, you're being exploited. I'm coming. That's what. So if, if someone wants to. I don't care if it's because I'm a little person, because I've got brown hair, because I, I'm from Orange county, because I'm white. Well, maybe because I'm white, that could get this. But like, for the most part, I do, I do not care. I, I did not care. I, I'm. I'm fascinated by the people that say, like, oh, no, you should just have a one night stand with someone who loves you for you. That's the point of a one night stand, right?

[A]

That's exactly right. Love has nothing to do with it.

[C]

Yeah. Two adults that are there to check some boxes.

[A]

It's transactional. Yes, exactly right.

[B]

Wow. Nobody ever fetishized me, Josh. I don't think that there are enough people. You could be fetishized portly Jews. You think? Maybe then now that you have some fame.

[C]

Sure, yeah.

[B]

You think so?

[C]

Yeah, Go on, go on. The Internet, there's fetishes for absolutely everything. People, people are into all sorts of weird stuff. I'm not trying to get into your guys's bedrooms, but no, please get in here.

[B]

Welcome.

[C]

I'm very thankful every day that that missionary with eye contact does it for me. Like, like 100% thankful that I don't have to charge a car battery. I don't have to dress up in a, in an outfit. I don't have to fit into a leather suit, have a ball gag, be, have an elaborate police system on my ceiling. Like, I don't have to do any of that. I have to look. I'd be like, my wife gets naked. I've been married to her for eight years and every time she gets naked, I'm yay happy. Like I'm. That's all I need.

[B]

Brad, you're talking to. You're speaking our language.

[A]

This is it. Except you lost me at I Contact. What are you nuts?

[C]

You don't like to have that connection. Oh, please.

[A]

It's so intimate. If we're looking at each other, who can I be thinking about?

[B]

Stop it. You think she's thinking about me?

[A]

Please.

[B]

Yes, she is, Josh. Yeah, right.

[A]

Oh, oh. A 39 year old with a tummy tuck. That was her end game, that. Yeah, I wouldn't blame her. I'd be like, please go to Jacob Elordi. I'll meet you after. We'll watch A show.

[C]

I totally agree. I'm, I'm, I'm amazed whenever my, whenever I come downstairs or I walk by and my wife goes, hello, handsome. I, I, Huh.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

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[C]

I just know that my wife being a 5 foot 7 attractive Chinese martial arts instructor, I know that when you look at me, this, this, this wasn't the dream, you know, this is. This wasn't. What?

[A]

Who knows?

[C]

Picturing, you know, she wasn't like one day I'll buy my husband's clothes at a build a bear. Like one day, you know, like, oh man, I love every time we go out to a restaurant and the hostess goes booster seat. Oh, I'm so attracted to that. I'm so like, no, it's not that. That's why I had to become funny. That's why you have to be personality. And God bless the women for not being so superficial that they are, that they are attracted to personality and humor

[B]

and all that personality.

[C]

I love it. I love it.

[B]

They are. I mean, the only reason Josh and I exist today in marriages is because at one point we were £300. Brad, it's the same thing. No, seriously.

[C]

Wait, so do your do do do your partners like guys that were big but then became small?

[B]

What a great question. Are they, do they like big that went small? Not even small, Brad. I'm still pretty meaty. You see me in person. I'm actively working on my journey. I think I look good on zoom. Josh, though. You see Josh in person, you're like, holy. Are you a. Are you an Olympian?

[A]

God bless you.

[B]

Are you an Olympian? But that's a good question.

[C]

But being big and getting small in that. In that way, it shows dedication. It shows commitment.

[B]

You know, drugs, GLP1, Zig Zeppa. It shows. It shows a commitment to going to the pharmacy.

[C]

It shows.

[B]

It shows a commitment to having a disorder going on.

[A]

Promo code. Good, guys.

[B]

It shows a commitment.

[C]

Sure, sure, sure. So

[A]

I'm dying to ask you, within the little people community, the little people group chat, is there a resentment against Danny DeVito, who's sort of like. He won't embrace it like those 4, 10, and passing.

[C]

No, no, no. We love Danny. So.

[B]

Yeah, okay, gotcha.

[C]

We. We love Danny. And here's why. Because Danny has never tried to say. Because Danny does not have warfism. He does not have a gene mutation that happened where he has a type of dwarfism. Danny's just really tiny, you know, and he's never. He's never tried to say, like, he. He's never been like, me and Dinklage right here, you know, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to do that. So we love Danny.

[B]

We.

[C]

We. We embrace Danny. It's the ones that. Yeah. Like, if you don't like. I have something called achondroplasia. That is the type of dwarfism that I have. Dinklage has the same type. So does Wee Man. So it's the most common.

[A]

So it's a talented one.

[C]

Yes. Hot. So if you have. Yes, we're not. Yeah. You hear that burn Troy.

[A]

He can't hear anything. He can't hear anything. Anything.

[C]

I love that. You just made my. Damn. Yeah, so. But no, we love Danny. I'm trying to think of other. We love Kevin Hart, you know,

[A]

all

[C]

the ones that are really small, but then don't claim that they are dwarf because they don't act, actually technically have dwarfism. We love those guys.

[A]

All right, shout out. And what do. What do we think about. I've seen this now trending on tick tock and whatnot. And it's guys who are 5, 5, 5, just, you know, anywhere between 5, 5 and 5, 10 who are doing these limb lengthening surgeries. Is this really. What do you not.

[B]

That's.

[A]

This is crazy, right?

[C]

Yeah. So I. And I'll explain them for you because they've been offered to me and I have turned them down.

[A]

Good for You.

[C]

So what it is, is it's a brace that goes on your, your limbs and every day you turn a little crank and the, the crank separates your bone by about, by, by about a millimeter. So it just slowly separates your bone and then overnight the bone grows back in. And then the next day you break your leg again. Next, you break your leg again. So it's very painful. It's very, it's long. But the thing is, is with the five foot five guys, you might be. But it's like you're building in brittle bone. Like it's not exactly your, like your typical stuff. And yeah, me, who's a little person whose part of my characteristics are disproportionate limbs to my body, it looks even stranger. I have seen some little people who have got it done who have gone from like 4 foot 2 to about, to about 5 foot 1, and I'm not a fan of how it looks. If they function in their lives and it really improves them, great. But also like, if you're five five and you're like, I got to be five, eight, five nine, go fuck yourself. Yeah, yourself. Because you're like. But I'm sure you don't know struggle clothes still fit you. You don't go into your shoe store. Like, I have to go in and say, hey, bring me out. Every shoe that fits me. Only shoe they bring out has lights blinking from it. You don't know the life. So just stop. Like, like, how lame is it if you're 5 foot 5, 5 foot 6, you're like, oh, my life sucks. And then you look over at me, who's a foot shorter than you, having the time of my life, having a great family and getting, you know, do. Having my dream job, getting paid. All of that. You're losing five foot five guys. You're losing and you're losing to this fucker. Yeah, that's embarrassing for you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. They. They need a little gratitude. They need a little gratitude. And it sounds like you have a lot of it. And I know me and Josh have a lot of it too. And that's the key. Got it.

[C]

Fun. You, you wake up every day. If you wake up every day and you're angry, then you're gonna be angry. You wake up every day, and if you're grateful, I, this was. I. I watch a lot of Jimmy Carr clips, the comedian.

[A]

Oh, one of my favorites. Brilliant.

[B]

He's great.

[C]

Brilliant. Brilliant Talks. He talks a lot about gratitude. He talks about how, hey, a hundred years ago, people weren't taking Hot showers. You get to wake up every day and take a hot shower. How lovely is that? You know, you just kind of look around your life. And I know social media is partly to blame for this because it used to be we didn't know what other people had. Now other people are showing off what they have and we know what we're missing. We know that there's FOMO out there. We know that there's events going on that we're not. That we're. That you're not attending. But, man, the other night I stayed in with my daughter. We watched something on Netflix called Not Quite Narwhal. We had a giggle fest and it was great. You couldn't throw me in a nightclub that. Where I would have had more fun.

[B]

You bring up a great point though, Brad. You can also. Not. You1 can also shut their phone. Like if you. If you. If your phone only brings you to be really jealous and upset, you should probably just delete the apps for a week and see if you feel better. Because it's not real. Like, you're jealous of somebody that you'll never meet. You're jealous of a life that easily. You could just pretend in your head is AI. It's not real. For all intents and purposes, what you are seeing somebody else do is not real. It doesn't matter. You are never supposed to see it. And this idea of FOMO just shouldn't exist. You should have FOMO of in person experiences. You shouldn't have FOMO of things that you're never going to see. It's just unhealthy.

[C]

And. And here's something too. Is. Is just know that every life that you're idolizing, they have problems. They got. Exactly. And here. Here's my opening act. He's a great comic. His name is JB Ball. And he told me this one time because I was talking about, like, oh, like the male porn stars are like, oh, they're having all this crazy sex and. And it's great.

[A]

The Manuel Ferraras, the Rocco Saffredi's.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I mean, I don't know why do

[C]

we know his name? Yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And then he said, yeah, but you ever seen the scene where that guy's in it with another guy and a girl and they're. And their. Their stuff ends up touching? I go, yeah. I go, so would you do all that just to have your stuff?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Another guy.

[A]

Sorry, you guys go first. Sorry.

[C]

I go, no, then I wouldn't.

[A]

All right, Brad.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Josh is like, can you please just get the girl out of here?

[A]

Yeah, okay. Like, talk to me after the podcast. Brad, Brad, you give up Plug anything you want. Make sure that people go and see where you're going to be performing the new YouTube special, all of It.

[C]

So live on Short Street. It's on my YouTube channel. Also on my website, you'll find all my tour dates. I'm taking summer off to be with the kid while she's out of school, but in the fall, I go right back out on the road. So hit that. And then I have a new podcast called Heighten Babel. It's me and it is my opening act and best friend, J.B. ball. We find really weird stories on the Internet and we just crack wise about them. So. Yeah, and coming up on an episode, we. We did an episode about a teacher in San Francisco, a math teacher who got fired because he was showing his students the. He would. He calculated the cost of dating a fat person as opposed to. Yeah, any person.

[A]

I hope that doesn't get around. Not gonna be good for me and Ben if we ever get divorced.

[B]

Where are you finding these weird news stories? Because we have a segment like that too, and we only pull from the post, so if you have links, send them over.

[C]

Yeah, of course, man.

[B]

And that was the great Brad Williams, folks. My God, what a. What a honestly living legend. I love that guy. He was fantastic.

[A]

I love him. I want to move in, I want to be roommates with him, and I want that to be the subject of a really good sitcom.

[B]

Yeah, I'm jealous of his wife. Like, he just seems to have everything in life figured out. Josh.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Should we do what? Are you nuts?

[A]

Yeah, let's get to what are you nuts?

[B]

Our wedding nights moment of the week is our gripes with people, places and things both big and tall. Whatever's sticking in your craw. Oh, I just forgot mine. I'm so sorry. Josh, you go first.

[A]

Flying back from my wonderful trip to New York with my wife, we were on the wonderful United and our flight attendant, they're doing meal service. And we were flying back, premium economy. Thanks a lot. Straight of Hormuz. And. And so they're doing, you know, the. The. The meal services is on the carts. And our flight attendant, we notice this to another flight attendant and there's some light turbulence. One out of ten. It's probably a five. But of course, the. The pilot has not instructed the flight attendants to sit down, so they're going about their normal service. But one of the flight Attendants goes, I think I want to sit. And the senior flight attendant goes, okay, let's just finish this really quick. No, no, I think I want to sit. And she's like, okay, we're.

[B]

We're.

[A]

You know, there's carts in between us and the rest of the aisle. And then another minute later goes down. I'm going to sit now. At that point, the turbulence stops. It completely stops. So now we're all looking around, going, like, you're gonna say it. Are you gonna finish whatever. Feel good, but maybe don't become a flight attendant if you're afraid of flying. Yeah. Then she proceeds to pour half a bottle of water on me. She just spills a bottle of water on me, and she makes full eye contact with me, does not acknowledge it, and goes, what would you like to drink? I said, a napkin.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What are you, nuts?

[B]

What a nightmare. Don't.

[A]

Don't be a flight attendant. Maybe if you're afraid to fly.

[B]

Oh, my God, What a nightmare. That is so funny and terrible. Take Klonopin. Like, are you crazy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My wedding nuts moment is. I will generalize. This is really all women. But it happened specifically to my sister. I went to my sister, I said, God, I love your. I love your sweater.

[A]

It's so beautiful.

[B]

You look so great. She said, oh, my God, thank you so much. I just got it at Marshalls. It was $14. What are you, nuts? I don't care. I thought it was Gucci. I thought it was Louis. I thought it was some sick designer brand. I thought it was a thousand dollars. You don't have to tell me how cheap it was. And you see this all the time. They're like, oh, I found it at a Goodwill. Great. You could have kept it to yourself. What are you, nuts? I don't need to hear that. I don't need to hear what your shirt was. There's no extra credit for it being cheap. I told you, you look good. Don't tell me how little you spent.

[A]

So true.

[B]

Josh. What are you, nuts? If you don't give this episode 5 stars. Nuts. Me, you, Brad. Brad. Folks, give it for Brad. Five stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Listen to us. Wherever you get your podcast, watch us on Spotify. We love Spotify. I've been watching myself on Spotify. I'll just go back, flip open the Spotify app. I'm going to play the happy song for Ruby. All of a sudden, I'm on this beautiful watching on Spotify because it's absolutely fantastic. Mondays and Thursdays folks are new episodes. We will see you next time.

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