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- [00:00]
A
Mazda Morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I just made an official amends to Ben's producer out there in Florida. Love you, Ben C. That was great.
- [00:09]
B
That was a heartfelt moment, Josh. Yesterday I snuck away for about 75 minutes while Ruby napped to go and hit some golf balls. Claudia said, you know, go. You got it. Enjoy your time. I go, I hit some golf balls. I come back, I had a great time. She says to me, how was it? You. You have fun? I said, fun short. And I realized, Josh, I do this often. I think girls do this. When you compliment their clothes, it's always, oh, you look beautiful. They're like, oh, yeah, it's from Marshalls. It's like, just take the fucking compliment with me. It's fun short. I always have to throw in a little negative just so that she doesn't think I had too much fun. Josh, do you do this as well? Why do I do this? Why do we do this? What's wrong with us? Why can't I just say I had fun?
- [00:58]
A
I 100% do it too, and it's all our wives fault. Go to the intro. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the good guys. A mother stream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars. What are you nuts?
- [01:23]
B
What are you nuts?
- [01:25]
A
The good guys, not the great guys. We're just good, good, good guys. And we're back. It's cuz I'm straight up scared of my wife. I'm straight up scared about it. And I talked about this with another married man in my life, who I can't say whom because he's even more scared of his wife.
- [01:46]
B
And I don't want her to get mad.
- [01:50]
A
Bro, let's just talk openly, dawg, I'm okay. Women of the world, partners of the world, wonderful people of the world, I'm gonna speak openly, knowing that I may get criticized here and I'm welcoming feedback. But let's have the conversation. If I go to have fun, that's one thing. Which is rare. Rare, rare. But even if I go to work, if I need to go on a work trip that is 24 to 36 hours, I know when I get home, I'm gonna be punished. Yeah, why is that? We've talked about it, Ben, before. I know you're afraid to say it, but we have.
- [02:22]
B
No, I'm not. I don't know what it is. I think I don't know, but I can Tell you that there is something in me and I think I'm scarred from it. I actually think Claudia wishes that I had a great time when I went away for those 75 minutes. I think that on the two day work trip for sure she doesn't want to hear that I had fun. No way. No way. But I would like to personally work on myself and be able to say I had a great time and not be worried that somehow that means that she'll be upset by it. I don't know why, but the fact that you have it and other people have it too. It must just be a universal truth that we're afraid to tell our wives that we had fun when we're not with them. That's what it is. And I want to say I have more fun of course, when I'm doing something fun with my wife. But to go and hit a couple of golf balls is nice. It's nice.
- [03:25]
A
I loved it.
- [03:25]
B
It was relaxing. It was fun. Yeah, I had fun.
- [03:31]
A
But you're not at that point yet. I mean you will when you have a couple kids and you've been in the trenches for years. Because I'm sure right now when you get home from a a trip, you're like desperate to just get in as much ruby time as you can. And I'm that way with my kids too. But I will have that work trip. And it's not a Mad Men style work trip. Okay? We're not doing martinis at three in the hotel lobby and hooker's at nine. Okay? Yeah, I'm at, I'm at the Courtyard Marriott. I'm eating protein bars, self inflicted. I have to do fucking ain't right. Cause these kids be expensive, dog. Totally. $350 in Little League equipment I had to buy the other day. It's nuts. But dick's had a nice 20% off.
- [04:21]
B
I love dicks.
- [04:22]
A
I love dicks. But me and my friend, I swear he's not my friend, he's not my brother in law. We were talking about this the other day. Like I will literally like fly out the night before and on the red eye I'll get there at 6am We've talked about this. I'll go crash at the airport hotel. I'll eat some protein bars. I'll wake up, I'll work out really quick. I'll shower, I'll head to the talk. I'm about to go talk at Sacred Heart University. I'll maybe have a good bite. Maybe I'll go grab dinner after by myself. Usually and then I'll go to bed and I'll be on literally the dumb, you know, break a dawn 5:30am flight that you have to wake up at 3:34. And I'm like, right back in the mix. And I do feel at times like when you come home, your wife has to make you understand how exhausting it was being the. The. The one who had to handle everything. And I don't doubt it, but I'm also like, I did everything in my. Like, can we just go back to baseline? Do we have to be at a deficit? That's my thought.
- [05:29]
B
Yeah. Especially because you were working, like, and that's the hardest part. It's like, you're not. You're not traveling to go see Japan. You're working. You're sleeping in a courtyard, saving money, doing a gig and working. It's hard. I think that at this point, Claudia knows that when I do work, travel, it really is 100% necessary. And I think she cuts me more slack now that she knows that I do used to feel like she thought it wasn't necessary and what's sometimes perceived as unnecessary. Like, to your point, I would go to. Let's say we're going to a Spritz Society production and we're making a new flavor, and I have to stay there for a couple of days because you have to try multiple versions. You also have to meet the people that are literally making your blend. You're spending tens of thousands to $100,000 making a product. You want to make sure that the people that are blending it aren't putting their dirty sock and spitting in it. You want to be nice to them, you want to tip them, you want to meet these people. Sometimes there's networking involved in these things too. Going to a dinner, sure. You could run home, or you could maybe have the opportunity to have a dinner with a studio exec or have a dinner with a director or further your career because of one dinner. So, whatever. It's a long way of saying, yeah, I'm definitely afraid. And I was afraid to say that I was. That I had fun for 75 minutes one, playing golf. So I have to look inward because I don't think that's her fault. I think that actually is my fault. Maybe it was her fault at one point for sure, but today that's my problem. I gotta get over it. I gotta get over it.
- [07:11]
A
Yeah, I agree. And I can take ownership in that way too, which is just like. I think it's codependency.
- [07:18]
B
Josh, you know what's? Dark. The Aftras. They dropped the SAG and they were the Actor Award.
- [07:26]
A
No, it wasn't the Aftras. I think it's called the Actors.
- [07:31]
B
Oh, they. I thought it was the SAG AFTRA awards.
- [07:34]
A
Yes, the SAG AFTRAwards. But haven't they renamed it the Actors?
- [07:38]
B
I thought I heard they named it just the Aftras. Drop the sag.
- [07:43]
A
They wouldn't. Cause that would make it the American Federation of tv Radio Artists Awards.
- [07:48]
B
Okay, so you think they just renamed it the Actor and I misheard them.
- [07:52]
A
Yes, because the name of the award is the Actor. And I also got invited to an actors award party.
- [07:58]
B
Okay, so then it's definitely the Actors. Okay, the Actors Award. I tried to watch. Sorry, Josh. Okay, I tried to watch this drek on Netflix. Oh my God. And I love Kristen Bell. She's awesome. So funny. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. One of my favorite movies ever, ever. Because of how great she is.
- [08:27]
A
You shall like you're from London.
- [08:29]
B
She's so good and he's so good. Before he was Looney Tune, but she's. But she's so good, Josh. And let me tell you, that little opening musical number. Did you see the musical number I did where she talks about shortening people's names she put on? It was like a 3 1/2 minute Broadway style sharing that some actors shorten their names and if we could pick, we would change their names. It was so bad, like embarrassingly bad writing. Like, like the least funny, so, so terrible.
- [09:15]
A
I don't want to attack writing because I'm sure like they got an incredible group of writers who took their best stab at making something that is impossible to make good. Because it's just every award show is a. A vehicle in which to sell ads and make the producers of said award show more money. We there too often they should be like the World Cup. We should do them every four years. I, I think it just becomes meaningless where everything. Every year there's like a track for awards season and before we know it, like the awards movies for this year are gonna drop in four months.
- [09:53]
B
Yes.
- [09:54]
A
And we're right back at it. And so I just think the level of pretension that is allowed in these circles of artists is. I think it's wearing thin on the audience at large. I'm not sure people are into it.
- [10:13]
B
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So when you miss a day, when you fall out of a routine, then you start to realize, oh my God, this is really propping me up. What's wild is that it actually replaces 16 different supplements instead of juggling a bunch of pills and powders. Who would do that? Not me. It's just one simple drink that gives me everything I need for for full body health, folks. I love a morning ritual. I am eight is an absolutely fantastic way to fill in those nutrient gaps. You should absolutely try it. See for yourself. But don't just give it one day, okay? Don't just give it a week, give it a month. And then by the way, when you stop taking it, you're going to realize, oh my God, that was really helping me. Give your body what it deserves. With im8 go to im8health.com goodguys and use code Good guys for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. Seriously, this is one of those offers you'll wish you jumped on sooner. That's imaidhealth.com goodguys and use code goodguys for a free welcome kit. Five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. Im8health.com goodguys code goodguys disclaimer. These statements have not been evaluated by the fda. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Little Spoon. Folks, anyone who's a parent knows feeding decisions aren't a one time thing. You make them again and again and again, stage after stage. First it's I don't want them to choke. Then it's let's make this ourselves. Then it's let's buy something. But maybe we could have made it ourselves. No, far too Often the options out there, whether you're feeding a baby, a toddler, or a big kid, just don't meet the standards you want for your children. Okay, Ain't that the truth? We want the best for our kids, but sometimes the stuff out there, it just doesn't live up to it. 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L I t t l e s P-O-O-N.com Goodguys with code goodguys for 30% off your first order. I was just looking to try and find one of the jokes that she's made. And look, I'M not trying to clown on the writers. If that's not something. Look, I'm not in the bids, okay? So if that's not a thing. We don't clown on writers. Whoever wrote these. Josh, it was like Ted Danson should change his name to Ted Dan Daughter.
- [15:14]
A
Right?
- [15:15]
B
Awful. No, like, like, I swear it was. I was having a physical episode. I was embarrassed watching her do this. And they had a PowerPoint of it. It said dancing cross daughter. Horrible, horrible.
- [15:38]
A
You know, why else? And this isn't a. This is not a jab at Kristen Bell, who's amazing is Kristen Bell is a. How do you say it? She's a really funny comic performer, but she's not a comedian.
- [15:55]
B
No.
- [15:56]
A
Right. So she needs someone brilliant to write for her, which, by the way, is like a handful of some of the greats. Right. But I think that's why someone like Nikki crushes the Golden Globe so hard, because she's a comic first. She's spending a month, or probably more in the clubs testing this material. So so much goes into it beforehand, so much R and D that on the night she's like, these jokes work and if they don't, it's you. It ain't the joke. Cuz I just did it at the. Or I did it at fucking Zany's, Alberta. I did it at Yuk Y. You know, Birmingham. And the people were dying. And so that's powerful. But when you have someone who has to. I'm sure she had input, but has to lean on writers who are not the performers, it's just a hard balance.
- [16:50]
B
You're right.
- [16:50]
A
It's not quite right. There was no way of testing it.
- [16:54]
B
So I will say, because you're right, the writers, whoever wrote it was bad. But the problem before that problem is that she didn't write it.
- [17:05]
A
Probably not.
- [17:05]
B
There's no way she wrote that. It's impossible. Like, it was so not funny and she's so funny. So I just can't imagine that she would have thought of that. But yeah, if you're gonna be a host, you should be a comedian that writes jokes for a living. That's really great. Focuses on their craft. Or you should honestly be a podcaster, a radio host, a person whose life is improv, somebody who just gets up there and is always just jabbing away. I feel like we often try to put people in these roles that maybe they didn't belong in. You'll see like somebody. Oh, like a guest host for the Oscars or you'll even like in an NBA game, they'll bring in a coach to do color commentary. There's a reason he's a coach, not a color commentary person, because he's not good at color commentary. But. But he's great at coaching. It's like, why do we do that?
- [17:58]
A
I don't know. I don't see color, so I think it's just commentary. But I. Yeah, man. I've also heard. And what do you think of this? That comedians have said, you let us host your award shows, you just don't give us the awards.
- [18:13]
B
Interesting.
- [18:14]
A
It was relating to the fact that, like, Jim Carrey should have won an Academy Award for the Mask. Yeah. Without a doubt. Unquestionably. Like Johnny Depp should have won an Academy Award for the first Pirates of the Caribbean. Like Jack Sparrow. Yeah. It was so brilliant, so good. Like, there's so many instances of great comedic performances that will never be rewarded because it's just. I don't know. Is it not pretentious enough? Is it not artsy enough?
- [18:46]
B
I don't know. I think that comedians never get respect, and I don't know why. I don't know why a funny movie is automatically a three on Rotten Tomatoes. I think about that all the time. Everybody loves Sandler's movies. You love Billy Madison. It's impossible that you didn't. Yet. It probably has a 30 on rotten tomatoes. Happy Gilmore probably has a 20 on rotten tomatoes. Like, why just because it's not serious, can you not give it? Like, what is it? I don't know. It's the same thing to me, though. Comics never get respect in the eyes of other fellow actors unless they play both. Unless you're a Steve Carell, where you're able to play both. Unless you're a Robin Williams, where you're able to play both. But somebody who's just a funny man, no respect. None. And by the way, that probably pushed Adam Sandler to do things like Spanglish, which for me was not my cup of tea. I think there are plenty of people maybe that liked him in a serious role. I didn't meet him in a serious role.
- [19:49]
A
You don't love uncut gems. Uncut gems. I do.
- [19:51]
B
I was just about to say, I don't know why I brought up Spanglish before I brought up uncut gems. Very good. For sure. And I'm happy that he got redemption from Spanglish in a serious movie where he was better.
- [20:02]
A
He's beloved in Spanglish. Spanglish is schmaltzy.
- [20:06]
B
Okay? So they love it. The People love it.
- [20:08]
A
I don't mean to be like a movie.
- [20:10]
B
No, this is good because I know nothing about this. I'm Mr. Should have Seen the Movie.
- [20:17]
A
Have you never seen as Good As It Gets?
- [20:19]
B
Josh, I just lied to you. I haven't seen Uncut Gems.
- [20:23]
A
Oh, boy. Oh, Ben, this is your problem. Let's have it out. This is an intervention. Ben C. Producer. Can you go in tight on Ben, please? We're gonna need to put another tape on the reel. We're gonna have to double up the hard drives. Thank you, Ben.
- [20:41]
B
This was gonna look out. When can I look out?
- [20:44]
A
Never. It's. You know what, Ben? You talk with such conviction, but you know so little.
- [20:52]
B
Whoa. Okay. I immediately owned it. I owned it. Yeah. I've never seen Uncut Gems.
- [20:59]
A
Adam Sandler, dude is a badass dramatic actor and you do need him. I'm sure you've never seen Punch Drunk Love, which was his first. It was P.T. anderson of one Battle After Another. He's probably gonna win the Academy Award this year. Punch Drunk Love was like. It's Adam Sandler, Luis Guzman, brilliant and brilliant British actress whose name is escaping Me and it shouldn't. And I apologize. She's fantastic. And Philip Seymour Fucking Hoffman, bro.
- [21:29]
B
Mr. Hoffman.
- [21:31]
A
Sandler is so good in it.
- [21:32]
B
We're gonna start with Uncut Gems.
- [21:34]
A
Why didn't you say that? It's the ultimate movie for us.
- [21:37]
B
I know. I know. I just missed it. I just missed it.
- [21:40]
A
You ready for this? It's Yids. It's Diamond District shit. And the whole subplot is basketball. It's Kevin Garnett. He's an insane gambling addict.
- [21:51]
B
It's like, I gotta watch it.
- [21:53]
A
He's obsessed with the Knicks. There's all these Knicks in it.
- [21:56]
B
It's my movie. I gotta watch it.
- [21:58]
A
I gotta watch it, Bro. How have you not fucking seen Uncut Gems? That's crazy.
- [22:02]
B
I missed it. That's why I lied. I'm embarrassed.
- [22:06]
A
You gotta. You'll love it.
- [22:07]
B
I should have seen it. I will see it. But back to what I was originally saying. Okay. Yes. Sandler. I'm sure. What did he get on Rotten Tomatoes for uncut gems? 99. Something big. Big time. Rotten Tomatoes.
- [22:22]
A
Not that.
- [22:22]
B
The tomatometer you live and die by. But I just know it matters that Billy Madison, at least for me, was a comedy that shaped my youth. I could not have watched that movie more. Was so funny and somehow in the eyes of the critics, just not a funny movie.
- [22:44]
A
Should we get to some weird news?
- [22:45]
B
Please. I love weird, weirdness Strange stuff. What's going on in Alberta?
- [22:52]
A
Well, did you know that New York is among the top five most polyamorous states? As 3 in 10Americans now prefer open relationships, here's how they make it work. New Yorkers are in a lusty state of affairs. With wintry temperatures below freezing and snow piling up to their eyeballs, the randy residents of the Big Apple and beyond are turning up the heat with polyamory. That's right. New York is Now the top five most polyamorous state in the U.S. couples and singles in New York are the fifth most interested in having poly relationships, often overlapping with the LGBTQ and kink communities. The city is their perfect place for couples looking to open up their relationship. And yeah, investigators also found that searches relating to poly relationships in New York have surged 5,000% in the past 30 days. They want to have multiple consensual romantic relationships. It's also known as poly fidelity, which is an account I just opened up for my kids scholarship fund. And, yeah, basically, people don't want to have exclusively canoodling with just one person.
- [24:01]
B
I need to know. So at first when you were reading this, I was like, that's interesting. And then I. I need to know what percentage of this is gay men.
- [24:09]
A
I wonder. Well, do you want to know the top 20 US states for poly dating? You ready for this?
- [24:14]
B
Yes, I do.
- [24:15]
A
1. Texas.
- [24:17]
B
Okay.
- [24:19]
A
2. California. 3. Florida. 4. Georgia. 5. New York. You know what I'm getting? These are rich states.
- [24:27]
B
But I'm not gonna lie, they're not giving gay states necessarily. So my brain, it immediately went out the window.
- [24:33]
A
Why aren't they. But California, New York, super popular.
- [24:36]
B
California New York, for sure. But, like, Texas and Georgia, I don't think of, like, big gay. Right? Like, I think, like, big gay New York for sure. For sure. And I just think that culturally, it's just a little bit different. Like, when you're a gay man in a relationship, it's not frowned upon to have a polyamorous relationship. It's not frowned upon, typically to bring somebody else in. I think that in straight culture, it's a much harder thing to. I at least haven't seen it. We've spoken about this before. Not only have I not personally seen it done, but if it's done, it's typically the. The beginning of the end.
- [25:12]
A
Totally the beginning of the end. I think, like, as. And this is just my assumption that because it's. I think, in the straight community, use the moniker of polyamory more, I would guess because I Think it because they're such like this classic ideal that is not present anymore. So they would more title it and have open. More of an open situation where I think other communities are more fluid about it and maybe wouldn't title it. So that's why I'm not surprised that it's Texas and Georgia.
- [25:46]
B
Sure. Yeah. It wouldn't be news unless it was straight people doing this. Interesting. Josh.
- [25:51]
A
I'm sure it's a mix, but I would imagine. I've had friends, to your point do it, and it's always a harbinger of like, they were going to divorce, but they pushed it off a year because they just tried hooking up with other people.
- [26:03]
B
Yeah. Interesting. I mean, what.
- [26:05]
A
What, I got to have another woman mad at me because I went to go golf for a minute?
- [26:12]
B
Can I have a minute? You get home from your business trip in the morning and they're both on the couch.
- [26:18]
A
Oh, my God. I'm like, this is not worth the sex, Josh.
- [26:24]
B
Did you have fun?
- [26:26]
A
No.
- [26:28]
B
Never.
- [26:28]
A
I don't know. I think your answer will be the same as mine. And we can cut this if you want, but let's just do a total hypothetical. Okay?
- [26:34]
B
Okay.
- [26:35]
A
You are your partner, your spouse. Let's just make it an imaginary spouse is okay with opening up the relationship to a third, to a woman. And now you're able to have a wife and a girlfriend and you leave for a business trip one day and. And you come home to find out that your girlfriend and your wife were hooking up while you were gone. How do you feel?
- [26:57]
B
Great power to them. That's fun. Why not have fun? Yeah, it's great. Honestly, it makes me think better of both of them. It means I'm not holding them hostage. We're a family.
- [27:09]
A
It's great.
- [27:10]
B
I love it.
- [27:11]
A
We are family, aren't we?
- [27:13]
B
Yeah, we're family. Good on you guys. Good on you guys for having a little fun. Going tango. Going tangoing. Salsa dancing. I don't know. Have fun.
- [27:24]
A
I'm doing the naked tango. Well, did you know that there is a spike in Earth vibrations that could be scrambling brains with bizarre ringing noise? Bad, bad, bad vibrations. A weather watchdog has reported an uptick in Earth's hum like heartbeat, raising concerns that it could be affecting people's. Known as Schumann resident. I'm sorry. Known as Schumann resonance, this natural electromagnetic frequency creates waves in the gap between Earth's surface and the ionosphere. Imagine it was the ionosphere. It's just like I just. Everywhere.
- [28:04]
B
How easy is that?
- [28:06]
A
You just always Hear? How easy is that? Oh, my God. So, yeah, man.
- [28:17]
B
Chicken liver, mood Jeffrey.
- [28:27]
A
Crazy. So, yeah. Have you been hearing any humming? I wanted to bring that up because I was like, if anyone's hearing humming, it's Ben.
- [28:32]
B
I definitely hear some things sometimes. For sure I hear some things. I hear high pitched frequencies. I hear dark thoughts. I hear things. I hear things, Josh.
- [28:45]
A
I do. Speaking of, I wanted you. You forgot to mention this. And we talked about it over the phone. Because I want to hear about the great Bruce. Because first of all, no new updates. We're now, what, 30 days out from, sadly, Nancy Guthrie, Savannah Guthrie's mother, gone missing. And by the time this comes out, also, it. Something could have come up. So I'm just, you know, giving that caveat. But so tragic. And. And I know that it's elicited some fear in Bruce, right?
- [29:13]
B
It has, yeah. My dad has called me on multiple occasions asking if he should fear for being captured. And what I say to him is, yes, yes, you are susceptible to capture. You are far too willy nilly with who you pick up the phone, how you pick up the phone, what information you give them, where you are. And all that I can say is pause off. Okay? Paws off. You don't want him. Okay. Even though he'll cook you a beautiful spread. Okay. He'll make you fantastic food. You know, honestly, you do want him. I'm just trying to, like, make it seems that he wouldn't be a great person to capture. He's ideal. Josh. A chef. You're capturing a living chef. He's great. It's fantastic. He can't help you move anything, though. Nothing. You have something that needs to be moved. He can't help you move it. He can't. He walks very carefully, slowly. He cannot drive. He will not be chauffeuring you anywhere. So if you capture him, though, he's the perfect person to capture and keep in your house.
- [30:18]
A
Benjamin, should I be scared? Benjamin, should I be scared? Benjamin? The other day, I was at the incinerator, and I got a weird look. Benjamin from 16E. I didn't like it. Benjamin. First Nancy, then who?
- [30:34]
B
Huh?
- [30:34]
A
Me. They're calling the Upper east side the Tucson of New York City.
- [30:42]
B
He really was scared. And in the same breath that he's telling me he's scared, he's like, yeah, I just met two lovely fans. They came up to me, they recognized me as your dad. I'm like, this is the problem. This is it. This is how it starts.
- [30:59]
A
That's so good.
- [31:01]
B
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Shopify. Folks, you know we love Shopify here at the Good Guys podcast. I use Shopify at Spritz Society. We just had an amazing new product launch with Kiehl's where we sold direct to consumer on Shopify. And folks, March is all about building your momentum. Summer season's almost here. Springtime is here. It's certainly here. We're focused on summer. We're even. You know what, if you're a big planner, you're even focused on holiday now. That's right. You got to think ahead. March is the month where everyone is out of reset mode and ready to actually make moves. It's when resolutions either fade or turn into results for entrepreneurs like us. That's right. That's what we are. March is the momentum season. Whether you're prepping for spring drops, leveling up your marketing, or tightening operations, Shopify helps you go from idea to execution to growth without losing speed. 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Josh, I have a random question for you. What's one thing you instantly notice when you walk into somebody else's home?
- [35:41]
A
The smell.
- [35:42]
B
Okay, tell me, what does it smell like?
- [35:46]
A
Don't you notice that even if it's a nice smell, every home, like, the only house that doesn't have a smell is my house because I live in it.
- [35:54]
B
Yes.
- [35:54]
A
And I. Everyone's house has a smell. And like, growing up, like my friend. My friend Len's house smelled like Russian cold cuts because that's what his parents were buying. So, yeah, everything. There's always an overpowering scent, isn't it?
- [36:16]
B
I don't know. When. When it happens. When you realize that your parents also have a smell that's different now from your smell. I used to be that smell, but now I have my own smell. And when I go to my parents house, into my parents fridge, around my parents, I'm reminded of that smell. And it's a nostalgic smell, but it's no longer my smell. When does that happen? I guess when you move out. Fascinating.
- [36:47]
A
Yeah. No, it's. Yeah, you have like this overpowering thing now. I smell like Jo Malone, babe. Or like Yves Saint Laurent, l' Homme Noir. But before, I probably smelled like, you know, Cheetos and Snackwells.
- [37:02]
B
Cheetos and SnackwellS. That's what, 100%? And maybe a little bit of cumin. There's just a drop of cumin in my parents fridge too. Now I don't wear anything, Josh. I don't wear a scent. I wear nothing. I'm just. I'm just free in me.
- [37:18]
A
Like. Like, you didn't do a lot of dating, but in my 20s, my 20s were peppered with basically bad Bath and Body Works candles and Michael Kors perfume. I can't even go into a Michael Kors anymore.
- [37:32]
B
I get triggered.
- [37:32]
A
I start thinking about Michelle, I think about Diana. It's crazy because I'm like, God, you guys are all wearing the same scent.
- [37:41]
B
I have that memory trigger. Whenever I'm around somebody that smells like Axe or Old Spice, I'm transported to camp. Just these kids dousing themselves. Just like, God forbid you do any laundry. Just dousing yourself in Axe body spray. It's disgusting.
- [37:59]
A
It's so yucky.
- [38:01]
B
So yucky. Josh, I have one more random question for you. What's one thing you'll never return even if you hate? Hate it
- [38:10]
A
I don't really return food to the grocery store, except if it's produce that I've brought home and it's immediately bad. Like, there were a couple good pieces on top and the rest of the berries are for shit. I'll go in there and be like, you should. You can't carry this. But I don't return a lot to the grocery store.
- [38:27]
B
You only if it's on Instacart. If Instacart delivers me, which they've been doing recently, rotten fruit. Everybody should know this tip. You can go in, take a picture, and they'll refund you immediately. You don't have to go back there. You don't have to show them the fruit. Like, go into the store. You just take a picture in the app and you do it. I will never return anything that I bought online, which is why I don't shop online. Because if I get it, I have convinced myself that I don't know how to return it. Even if there's a prepaid shipping label, even if I have the bag, even if I just have to drop it off at ups, I've convinced myself I can't do it. So I don't shop online. Yesterday, Claudia's like, why don't you buy any clothing online? I went to Vince. When was the last time you were in a Vince?
- [39:18]
A
I'm a Vincenz theory, man.
- [39:20]
B
This is it. Vince is it. I forgot how great their clothing fits me. And now that I'm a little bit slimmer. Just a little bit. Oh, this stuff looks fantastic. Shout out, Vince. I want the free goods. Shout out, Vince.
- [39:34]
A
Love, Vince.
- [39:36]
B
Vince is fantastic. But yeah, I could buy Vince online. I could probably get a better deal online. Nope, boutique only.
- [39:43]
A
So I have some really bad news for you. There's going to be a video of me coming out in the next three to six months getting punched out by a Little League father. Okay? Because Max has started playing Little League and I am one of the coaches, also known as the prestigious Dugout Dad. I created that moniker. I'm the Dugout Dad. I'm the D and D. Okay? Double D. Love it. And I don't have issues with the other team. I don't have issues with the other parents. I have issues with our team and the seven year olds on said team. And I have a real hard time holding my tongue. And I know that there's gonna be a dad who's gonna say, don't talk to my fucking kid. And I'm gonna be like, well, maybe you should be a better Parent. And they're gonna put my head through a fence.
- [40:38]
B
When you first told me that, I thought I was like, I haven't seen you with a shiner. I thought you already got beaten up. I'm happy that you haven't, but, yeah, that's gonna be bad. I'm excited for you, though. That's fun being a dugout dad. You should bring, like, snacks and drinks. You should bring one of those big Gatorade coolers like you.
- [40:58]
A
That's the women's job.
- [41:03]
B
Just totally, totally. I love a big jug of Gatorade. Isn't that great? And you can do as much dilution as you want. Putting a little bit of water.
- [41:12]
A
Water.
- [41:13]
B
They'll never know. Give them a nice little Ritz cracker with peanut butter. What are those called? Those little crackers with the peanut butter. Fantastic. Those are great snacks. Ballpark snacks, maybe bring in. Okay. Next time I'm in la, you tell me when a game is, I'm gonna show up with a hot dog stand.
- [41:30]
A
Love it. It's so flipping cute. And they're really playing like they're going up in a level. It's becoming more competitive. The. But you know, the dugout dad needs to, like, get everyone on deck and ready to go. So we keep the game moving. Like, okay, so this guy's on deck and then the guy after him, like, warm it up.
- [41:47]
B
Yes.
- [41:48]
A
So, of course, every team, you have one kid who's like a little bit of a Rudy, right? A little bit of a Josh Peck. Completely not great at sports. And this is the kid who you banned behind because they're pro. They're never gonna succeed in sports, but maybe they do a startup later and they give you money.
- [42:07]
B
You know, you never know.
- [42:08]
A
You don't know, right?
- [42:09]
B
You don't know.
- [42:11]
A
So you look out for this kid. So I feel a real kinship with the kid on our team who needs a little help. He's fine, but he's not the best. And the kids are so competitive that they'll scream at this kid cause he's not playing correctly. And that don't work for me, brother. That don't work for me. So I immediately told the kids, I said, hey, listen, if you're going to say anything to a teammate, it's something positive, okay? We're not going to scream anything negative, especially at the one kid who's struggling the most. Then there's this one kid, he was going up to bat, but the kid in front of him struck out. Three outs. Okay? Now it's our turn to Go field. He didn't like that. He didn't like that his turn had been intercepted by the other team. He walks in front of me, he goes, it was my turn. He throws his hat and his glove at my feet in the dirt when
- [43:06]
B
there was three outs. Does he know the rules?
- [43:10]
A
He was excited, okay. Little guy was excited, okay?
- [43:15]
B
Was it like top of the ninth situation? He's not gonna get nipped.
- [43:19]
A
It was the second, okay?
- [43:21]
B
You're gonna come up next inning, dummy. That's what you should have said to him. Hey, hey, idiot. Do you understand the rules of baseball? You get to lead off next inning. No pressure, no nothing. You strike out, no problem. You're not the bad guy here. Learn the rules. I need you.
- [43:41]
A
I need you there, bro. Because first of all, so what do I do in this situation? I immediately look at the father as though, you gonna handle this or what? Right? I just give him a look. I want to see what he's going to do. Father does donut, nothing, zip, zero. So I'm a man and I need to protect my manness, even with a seven year old. Listen, I'm not going to be disrespected, okay? So I just look at the kid and I go, what am I going to do with that? I wish you were here to dab
- [44:16]
B
me up, by the way. That's good. That's good.
- [44:20]
A
What am I gonna do with that?
- [44:23]
B
That's a great response. What did he say?
- [44:25]
A
He looked at me like the wall that I am and he picked his shit up. What? Ignore that. This is sports. This is where we teach kids how to be good people.
- [44:38]
B
Totally schmucko. What an idiot. And somebody needs to teach them the rules. Like why we. You're on a baseball team and you don't know the rules. You're coming up next. It's great. Who? Idiot. Idiot. Josh.
- [44:56]
A
What? What parents need to understand about sports is statistically, none of these kids will ever play in the majors. No, statistically, one of them will play high level college sports. Statistically, a couple of them will make their high school team. So what you know, you can do here for sure is help make your kid a great person.
- [45:23]
B
Yeah.
- [45:23]
A
And sports is an unbelievable way of teaching them teamwork, grit, discipline, showing up, being accountable, you know, self improvement and like, about the important things in life. And like, if you miss that opportunity and you just care about their hit count, you're missing it.
- [45:41]
B
It's also gotta be what you're doing at home. Like if you're. If you're the Parent of a really gifted player. Right? You can still be a really gifted player playing with other kids if there isn't so much pressure coming down from somewhere else that those kids are worse than you. Right? Like, otherwise you wouldn't know. You'd just be better. But you wouldn't be comparing yourself and thinking like, oh, I'm so much better. I should be on a different team than these kids who really aren't good at this sport. Like, it's not all about that. If you really are that good, you should probably be in one league that's with your friends, where you're doing all the things that you're talking about, you're having a great time, you're learning about life. And then if you're really that good, AAU or whatever the equivalent is, where you.
- [46:29]
A
Or for me, just aa,
- [46:35]
B
Where you are on the path to greatness. Great. But don't force that on a regular Little League. It's supposed to be fun. It doesn't mean you shouldn't know the rules. That's why I said what I said. That kid bugging out that he's not gonna get a turn. It's the second inning. Know the rules. You should know the rules. You should play within the rules. If you're not good at baseball, all right, maybe pick up another sport. But if you're trying and if you're having a good time, you belong there.
- [47:05]
A
Now, tell me this, because I'm dying to know. And this is the. The sanctuary of secrets. This is where you're safe. You've now been in Florida for a couple months. Yes, we know. The family. Miss your family. I know. That's easy. Honestly, do you miss the city? Is there. Are you missing aspects of the city, or are you kind of just loving, you know, being able to play golf, wear shorts and, you know, drive the beautiful Ruby around.
- [47:33]
B
It's so interesting.
- [47:35]
A
It's.
- [47:36]
B
It's the same relationship I think that I have with. So it's two things. First, I definitely miss the city. I miss my friends in some regard. Do I miss the current city? I don't know. I might be longing for a city that doesn't even exist. Like, I might be longing for experiences that don't exist. Friends, availability that doesn't exist. So that's. I'll put that to the side. The same thing that I said about Claudia, where I got home from 75 minutes of the driving range. She said, how was it? And I said, oh, you know, it was great, but quick. It's the same thing with My parents. It's the same thing with my sister. It's the same thing with my friends. I feel very guilty saying it's awesome. I feel very guilty saying it's awesome. I will always say in one breath it's amazing. The weather is amazing. But the truth is it's amazing. That doesn't negate the fact that the city. When it's really nice out, even in the winter, if you're in the state of mind where you're not gonna be inconvenienced by the snow, you're gonna go and take your son out to have a snowball fight, then winter in Manhattan is fucking awesome. Okay. Like, no question. But for my current state of life, spending a couple months in Florida with a very, very young son was the greatest thing ever.
- [49:03]
A
Yeah, it was. It was.
- [49:05]
B
There's nothing better. I could walk him around in a stroller in beautiful weather in the city, he'd be in my apartment. For him, it was 150,000 times better. I don't think he would have gotten any vitamin D yet. Like, seriously, it was a horrible winter in New York for a baby. It would have been a really fun winter in New York for Max. I think Max would have had a lot of fun going on sleds, snowball fights. You have a day off from school. Like the five, six, seven. That really fun.
- [49:38]
A
The call to prayer in Times Square.
- [49:40]
B
No, I'm sorry. And it just. For our current life, it was awesome. It was great. And I should be less apologetic about it.
- [49:55]
A
Yeah. Own it, Dave. I love it. I'm so happy for you.
- [49:57]
B
It was great. Thank you. Yeah, it was really, really fun. And Florida in general, it's just. People love to shit on it, I guess the same way that I used to shit on California as a state, for sure. I think we just do it, and I really think we do it as New Yorkers, where we can't possibly admit that anywhere can also be great. It's us or nothing. That's how we're raised. And I love it. I love that grit. I love that we're the best city. We have the best sports fans. We have the best kids. We have the best. Like, the best. But that's how New Yorkers are trained. And the second that you leave New York, it is the second that you leave New York, you're like, oh, you know, maybe I was hoodwinked a little. Maybe other places are kind of awesome. Maybe it's not a detriment to live near a functional body of water. Like, maybe it's Nice. Yeah, yeah. So I know.
- [51:00]
A
I know what you mean. It's the things that are installed in us. Like my son's Little league team are the Rangers. And now that I'm the official Double D, my wife was like, oh, you should get like a Rangers, like a Texas Rangers baseball cap so you look like part of the team. And I said, over my dead body will I ever wear a Texas Rangers baseball cap.
- [51:23]
B
God willing. Ruby grows up, loves basketball as much as me and has fun with it. And he loves players, right? Then he can get a certain players jersey because I used to do that. That was fun. You're not rooting for the team. I was a Dwight Howard fan. I got a Dwight Howard jersey. I'm not an Orlando Magic fan. I had those fat heads. You remember fatheads. I had a fucking Dwight Howard. It's honestly so weird. I had a life size Dwight Howard on my ceiling. Wow. Honestly, all I can think about now is it's life size. I just had the. I just had a seven foot Dwight Howard on my ceiling when I was like 10.
- [52:09]
A
Can you imagine if it was Shaq? Good night, Shaq. Good night, little Benny. I love you. Ben.
- [52:16]
B
I spoke. That's hysterical.
- [52:19]
A
Oh my God. That's a kids movie. I'mma gift you a couple wingstops. Mr. Shaq, my family doesn't have any money and we don't know how we're going to survive and pay the bills. I'm going to give you a wing. Stop. Your bills are going to be paid with lemon pepper. I got a shit. I got a. I got a boo boo. Take me off the ceiling. I got a duty.
- [52:49]
B
Oh, that's good. Oh my God.
- [52:52]
A
Should we get to.
- [52:52]
B
What do you not both big and tall? Whatever's sticking in your craw. Josh, what do you got?
- [52:58]
A
The other day, I was at the Kings game, as I mentioned. Shout out. Thanks for having me. And the valet guy was classic. And he goes, it was almost like that SNL sketch. He goes, oh, damn, dog. Yo, yo, you remember Drake and Josh? Yeah. He goes, word, you remember that shit? I was like, yeah. He's like, you don't remember it? I was like, no, I was there. Like it sort of defined my life 25 years. He goes, shut up. You don't remember? Yo, I love that shit. I was like, what are you nuts? But also, thank you. Like, yo, yo. You remember drinking, Josh? It's like, yeah, I do.
- [53:45]
B
That's so funny. I was at. I was at dinner last night and the waitress just kept doing. I've Never experienced this before. She's telling me the specials. I'm listening. My phone is face up and I'm getting a call from my sister. And she says, oh, you're getting a call. You want to take that? No. What do you mean? Why are you looking at my phone? And why are you at like.
- [54:10]
A
Well, it's flashing.
- [54:12]
B
No, it was just up. It wasn't flashing. Like, it's like a. It's not ringing. It's just face up. It was weird.
- [54:20]
A
If I saw that, I'd be like, you're getting a call.
- [54:22]
B
Yeah. Even as a waiter, if you didn't
- [54:25]
A
notice, because I think it was Pavlovian for the waiter they're so used to.
- [54:30]
B
You think she just like. She like, caught it out of the corner of her eye. She saw it and she just had to say something. I don't know. I thought it was so strange, but maybe you're right. Maybe I'm nuts. Maybe it's not that weird. I'll try and think of another. What are you nuts?
- [54:43]
A
No.
- [54:43]
B
That's good.
- [54:45]
A
Maybe I'm nuts.
- [54:46]
B
No, maybe. I don't know. I just thought it was so strange. Like, you're like, I don't know. Like, how do you know it's an important call? How do you know anything about me or my calls or anything? Like, my phone should have been face down. I just thought it was weird. I don't know.
- [55:01]
A
I think it's very courteous. I think she was saying, like, it was a little bit of over caring, but it was like, I can come back. Cause if you need to take that, don't not take that on my account.
- [55:16]
B
You know, maybe you're right. And so the what are you nuts? Is me. I have a perfectly lovely waitress who's here. She's so courteous that she asks if I need more time so I can take a phone call while she's in the middle of doing the specials. I'm nuts. What am I? Nuts. Great, folks, you're nuts if you don't give this episode 5 stars. What are you? Nuts? Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts and rate. Okay? Rate, review and subscribe. Give us five stars. We're going to read a five star review every episode.
- [55:49]
A
Fantastic. Excellent. Gorgeous. All words that Ben uses in his daily vernacular to describe just about anything that brings him joy. And all words that describe his chemistry and banter with Josh. I would also add electric and hysterical. It's a 10 out of 10. Wow.
- [56:05]
B
Gorgeous, folks. Mondays and Thursdays. We will see you next time. Toogood and Co Coffee creamers are made with farm fresh cream, real milk and contain 3 grams of sugar per serving. That's 40% less than the 5 grams per serving in leading traditional coffee creamers for a rich, delicious experience. Whether you enjoy your coffee hot, cold, bold or frothy, two good coffee creamers make every sip a good one. Two good coffee creamers Real goodness in every sip. Find them at your local Kroger in the creamer aisle.