No STDs in Heaven with Nicole Byer

Summary

Podcast Summary: Good Guys – "No STDs in Heaven with Nicole Byer"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Good Guys
• Host/Authors: Josh Peck (actor & writer) and Ben Soffer (entrepreneur & social media icon)
• Episode: No STDs in Heaven with Nicole Byer
• Release Date: February 24, 2025
• Description: Hosted by Josh Peck and Ben Soffer, the "Good Guys" podcast delves into a wide array of topics with humor and candid conversations, featuring guests from various backgrounds.

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1. Welcoming Nicole Byer

• [00:32] Josh Peck introduces Nicole Byer, expressing honor in having her on the show.
• [00:37] Nicole Byer: "I don't really understand football, but..."

2. Super Bowl and Sports Enthusiasm

• Discussion on the cultural phenomenon of the Super Bowl:
  • Nicole shares her confusion over the excitement surrounding football, especially among straight men.
  • [01:07] Josh Peck: "It's male soap opera sports. It is. It's our soap opera."
  • [23:32] Nicole Byer: Criticizes the behavior of booing Taylor Swift at the Super Bowl, emphasizing respect for artists.

3. Personal Stories and Health Topics

• Dental Features:

  • Conversation about underbites and natural teeth.
  • [01:45] Nicole Byer: "I like real teeth..."

• Weight Loss and Medications:

  • Discussion on Ozempic and Tirzepatide (Manjaro), including side effects like binge eating.
  • [03:25] Ben Soffer: "I'm a big nailed it fan..."
  • [04:54] They describe their experiences with these medications, highlighting both benefits and challenges.
  • [04:00] Nicole Byer: "That's what I feel like. It's delightful..."

• Josh Peck’s Dental Correction:

  • Josh shares a personal story about fixing his wife's underbite with Invisalign.
  • [02:03] Josh Peck: "My wife had a whack tooth and she fixed it for our wedding..."

4. Food, Binge Eating, and Culinary Adventures

• Binge Eating Experiences:

  • Ben and Nicole discuss their own struggles with binge eating, particularly focusing on healthy foods like yogurt and broccoli.
  • [04:54] Ben Soffer: "Mine is identical, except at the very end, I look at myself in the mirror and contemplate suicide."

• Cooking Mishaps:

  • Nicole recounts her over-salting of noodles, leading to wasted food.
  • [08:19] Nicole Byer: "I watched a video where these chefs were like, you got to over salt the water..."

• Favorite Foods and Recipes:

  • The trio shares their favorite dishes and cooking preferences, including spinach artichoke dip, macaroni salad, and various desserts.
  • [16:34] Ben Soffer: "I made Crunchwrap Supremes from scratch..."
  • [53:32] Nicole Byer: Discusses perfect breakfast options like acai parfait bowls.

5. Relationships and Dating

• Nicole’s Relationship Insights:

  • Nicole talks about her experiences with dating, emphasizing respect and privacy.
  • [32:35] Nicole Byer: "I was in a situationship for like a year and a half..."

• Josh’s Relationship Story:

  • Josh shares a humorous anecdote about dating someone who preferred sleeping on the sofa due to his flatulence from eating eggs.
  • [47:00] Ben Soffer: "They were laying down the story..."

6. Celebrity and Personal Anecdotes

• Josh Peck’s Mistaken Identity with Chris Evans:
  • Josh narrates receiving incorrect emails intended for another Josh Peck, who is Chris Evans’ assistant.
  • [57:38] Josh Peck: "I am not the Josh Peck you're looking for..."
  • [60:53] Josh finally connects with the correct Josh Peck, ending the mix-up.

7. Social Commentary and Current Events

• Discontent with Media and Privacy:

  • The hosts express frustration over public discussions of deceased celebrities’ private lives.
  • [47:30] Josh Peck: "But I think it's kind of odd when a person can't defend themselves."

• Airline and Travel Gripes:

  • Critique of inconsistencies in airline services and fuel pricing strategies.
  • [66:23] Discussion on Costco’s gas pricing and lack of bulk options.

8. Final Segment: "What Are You Nuts?"

• Hosts and Guest Share Pet Peeves:

  • Ben Soffer: Complains about the aversion to cilantro in recipes.

    • [64:25] Ben Soffer: "What are you nuts is cilantro..."

  • Josh Peck: Frustration with overzealous Costco enthusiasts lining up at unusual times.

    • [65:36] Josh Peck: "My what are you nuts is Costco."

  • Nicole Byer: Highlights inconsistencies in clothing sizes and the frustration of unpredictable fits.

    • [66:25] Nicole Byer: "Why are we doing this to people?..."

Key Quotes:

• Josh Peck: "[What] are you nuts?" – A recurring humorous critique throughout the episode.
• Nicole Byer: "We're just the good of good of the good guys."
• Ben Soffer: "I love Caraway. All the products are fantastic. Highly recommend the nonstick pans."

Conclusion:

The episode "No STDs in Heaven with Nicole Byer" features an engaging and humorous dialogue between Josh Peck, Ben Soffer, and Nicole Byer. They navigate through personal anecdotes, health discussions, culinary adventures, and social commentaries, all while maintaining a light-hearted and entertaining atmosphere. The final segment, "What Are You Nuts?", encapsulates their candid frustrations with everyday oddities, leaving listeners with laughs and relatable content.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisement segments, focusing solely on the main content and discussions of the episode.

Transcript

[Josh Peck]

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the good guys. A mother's dream Premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a good guys.

[Ben]

And if you don't give us five stars.

[Josh Peck]

What are you nuts?

[Ben]

What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

[Josh Peck]

They're not the great guys.

[Nicole Byer]

We're just the good of good of the good guys.

[Josh Peck]

So we're sitting here with the great Nicole Byer. An honor to be with you. Do you watch Super Bowl?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, I watched that Super Bowl.

[Josh Peck]

Did you?

[Nicole Byer]

I did.

[Josh Peck]

And.

[Nicole Byer]

And I don't really understand football, but, like, I was at a bar and I really enjoyed the straight men being like. And I'm like, why are you so excited for something you had no control over, nor that you did or can do? That's wild to me.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Josh Peck]

So true.

[Ben]

It's crazy. It's crazy.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I'd rather watch, like, ice skating with the gays where they're like, ooh, girl work. Like, I don't know. It's like. I feel like straight men are just, like, they're too invested.

[Josh Peck]

It's male soap opera sports. It is. It's our soap opera.

[Nicole Byer]

It is. That's. Yeah, that's a perfect way to put it.

[Josh Peck]

We know the battle.

[Ben]

It sounds like you might have been at an Eagles bar if there was a ton of cheering. And all I have to say is it's good that they won because those Eagles fans can be mean when they're angry.

[Nicole Byer]

I truly enjoyed the aftermath where I think their mayor was like, please don't climb up light fucking poles. Don't climb on anything. Please don't.

[Josh Peck]

Rioting is out, right? I'm done with riding.

[Nicole Byer]

Riding.

[Josh Peck]

Rioting.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, rioting.

[Josh Peck]

Sorry, I need to enunciate. No, no, it's an underbite.

[Nicole Byer]

You do.

[Josh Peck]

It's pretty severe.

[Ben]

I wouldn't have known.

[Josh Peck]

Weird, right?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think it's an underbite. It just feels like your teeth are friends. Well, my teeth. One is trying to outshine the other. My. The top part's trying to outshine the bottom.

[Josh Peck]

I'm just glad that you have your teeth and you didn't go Hollywood teeth veneers.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, I simply couldn't. I like real teeth. Watching movies where you're like, those teeth are.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Peck]

My wife had a whack tooth and she fixed it for our wedding, and I miss it sometimes. Sorry, baby.

[Nicole Byer]

It's nice that she fixed it for the wedding.

[Josh Peck]

Rotated it in. In Like a three week invisalign extreme course.

[Nicole Byer]

Rotated it in.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. It was like a canine that was off on an island.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, I'm sure it was endearing.

[Ben]

Josh, you can stay with me.

[Josh Peck]

I loved it. But now. Yeah, now it's back.

[Nicole Byer]

I like quirky features on people. I think we're all gonna look like modern architecture soon. The same.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

With like, Ozempic and lip fillers and Botox and shit. Not me. I'm a little.

[Ben]

Who wants that stuff? Not me. I don't want that Ozempic. Fuck that.

[Josh Peck]

Well, we talked on your wonderful pod. Why won't you date me?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

Right. That you dabbled in the arts of the Ozemps.

[Nicole Byer]

That is funny that. I was like, I'm not doing any of that. No, I'm fully on Manjaro.

[Ben]

Same, same, same. I just.

[Josh Peck]

You can ask Josh. I just switched.

[Nicole Byer]

I look like anybody. I just want to not die.

[Ben]

We want to. For a year and a half. I just switched to Tirzepatide, which is Manjaro.

[Nicole Byer]

And do you like it better?

[Ben]

Oh, my God, I love it.

[Nicole Byer]

I like it better, too.

[Ben]

So much better. I have less nausea. I'm super focused on not eating. Except the last day. Yesterday was day six, Nicole. I had seven muffins. Seven. I couldn't stop. My wife, she doesn't even bake. She baked. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, holy shit, these muffins are so good. I ate seven of them.

[Nicole Byer]

I get that. Yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

The last day, you just, like, forget who you are. You black out, and then the next day you inject again. You become your superhuman again.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. It's like that. That movie with Bradley Coops. Do you know Limitless?

[Josh Peck]

Limitless, yes.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

That's what I feel like. It is. It's. I think it's delightful. It's nice because I don't obsess over food. But on that last day, right before you hit it, you're like, let me gobble, gobble.

[Ben]

Let me get it off.

[Nicole Byer]

What?

[Josh Peck]

What does it look like? Can we describe our food blackouts when it gets really bleak?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah, sure. Good. Oh, at home it's like 8:39pm and I'm like, what if I smoke a little weed, then I'm stoned and I'm like, what if I order some food? Then I open up postmates and I order enough to feed the cul de sac, and it all comes to me. Bags and bags. Lots of cutlery. Because they're like, surely she's sharing. And then you eat little bites of all of it till you're too full. And then you go, I should go back for another round. Then you eat some more until you're really, really full. Then you take a nap. And then you wake up and then you eat more. Yeah.

[Ben]

Mine is identical, except at the very end, I look at myself in the mirror and contemplate suicide.

[Nicole Byer]

Turn the lights off and go to bed.

[Ben]

That's the end of my journey. Two weeks ago. Yesterday was the seven muffins. Two weeks ago was a full pint of fire yogurt. I ate the whole pint.

[Nicole Byer]

Get out of here. Who gives a shit?

[Josh Peck]

Yogurt?

[Ben]

It's too much. Anything. Anything in.

[Nicole Byer]

How long were you before Ozempic?

[Ben]

A lot. My whole life.

[Nicole Byer]

My binging yogurt.

[Ben]

I'm trying. These are new habits. I'm trying.

[Nicole Byer]

Yogurt better.

[Ben]

It's not. It's literally not better.

[Josh Peck]

Like a real food obsessed can binge. That's like when it gets really dark. When you're binging on healthy food because you're trying to be healthy. I know the great Teresa Str, who's this brilliant writer and friend of mine. She talked about her food issues and that she would binge on broccoli she just wanted to consume. So first of all, that must have been a fart fest.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Unbelievable.

[Josh Peck]

When you binge on cruciferous.

[Ben]

Oof.

[Josh Peck]

Are you kidding?

[Ben]

Me too smelly title.

[Nicole Byer]

That's funny. That's really funny. That got me good.

[Josh Peck]

But what are you ordering from Postmates?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, wait, my phone is over there.

[Josh Peck]

We can't show it where it says.

[Ben]

As long as it's a galaxy.

[Josh Peck]

Or we are ending the bot.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay, well, sometimes, you know, you get a whole pizza and then you eat the whole pizza and you get it with extra cheese, and then you get a side of like, meatballs and breadsticks and then. And then sometimes you do a double dip where you get dessert from someplace else. Like BJ's. A pizookie. Come on. Yeah, I love a pizookie.

[Josh Peck]

I like when it comes in that little skillet. And you know that that skillet's only for cookies. It's not big enough to make anything else.

[Nicole Byer]

No. And it's, like, seasoned with extra cookies of past. Yes, it's nice.

[Ben]

We can't talk about food without me mentioning that I'm a huge nailed it fan.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, thank you for watching it.

[Ben]

Not not only are you hilarious, but, like, being able to watch a show that just, like, shows me delicious desserts. It's fantastic. You talk that shit looks delicious.

[Josh Peck]

I do.

[Ben]

I think that some of them are very scary, but I.

[Nicole Byer]

But.

[Ben]

But I think that the. The idea of that goes back to the binge eating. Okay. I would eat all of it. I'd eat any of it. Anything sugary, I'll take it. Even the ones that don't look good. But I'm a big fan.

[Nicole Byer]

Thank you. I appreciate it. But you'd be surprised. I love food. And sometimes I'd be like, I don't think I'm hungry today.

[Ben]

Really.

[Nicole Byer]

But also sometimes we had to taste a lot. Like one season, the contest, there were seven contestants, and they had to make a cupcake, a cake, and then another cake. So that's 14, 21. So it's 21 tastes of cake.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

After that, that really. That's. It's a lot. It's not good.

[Josh Peck]

It's funny. I hosted a food competition show for Roku, which is like hosting a show sponsored by the woods and really successful.

[Nicole Byer]

Everybody loved it.

[Josh Peck]

The food was. We had six chefs and the food, like, I would say 99% of the dishes were unbelievable.

[Nicole Byer]

I could have been so nice. Yeah, that's nice.

[Josh Peck]

It was quite nice.

[Nicole Byer]

These people were fudgeing up, like, box cake. And that is. Yes, that's great. But also, I fucked up noodles the other day, so who am I to talk?

[Ben]

What did you do? You overcooked them?

[Nicole Byer]

No, I watched a video where these chefs were like, you got to over salt the water. It's supposed to taste like the sea. So then I did that, and then my noodles were salty as hell. And then I didn't cook them all the way through, so they were also crunchy and salty. And then I over salted the meat sauce, and then I put that on. So then it was just like too salty. And then I had to throw it away. I had to throw away food.

[Josh Peck]

Wow.

[Ben]

Oh, that's terrible. What a sad story.

[Josh Peck]

Benjamin, have you noticed anything different about me? Anything, like, new, like, classier chic, like tech forward, Like a. Maybe like a Galaxy S25 Ultra from Samsung or.

[Ben]

I mean, it's hard not to notice. You bring it everywhere. Thank you so much. It's your new best friend. It's almost like it's a companion. Josh. And honestly, it looks fantastic on you. You with your buff arms, cute smile, little bit lightly tight jeans.

[Josh Peck]

The Galaxy, just fancy. I know I'm wearing too tight of a pant, and I don't feel great about it. Hey, I just wanted to look. The reality is. And I just want to share this. I wasn't quite ready for a long time to make the change and get a Galaxy. But what I realized was like, you can't deny that these features are. I mean, when you're Talking about a 200 megapixel camera on here and a 50 megapixel ultra wide lens, like, it's sick. I'm in the camera business, babe. I record content.

[Ben]

It's sick. And I don't know if you noticed, but recently I posted a beautiful reel of a chopped salad and perhaps you noticed that it looked a little bit clearer. Josh, did you notice that maybe it looked a little bit more beautiful than my past posts? That's because, Josh, I use the new Galaxy and this camera I can attest is out of this world.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, and by the way, a team from my town. I don't know if we just got a new semi known player. It's not a huge deal, but I immediately use my AI companion. I was like, yo, can you please go get the schedule? I always say please because you know AI, but you know, be nice.

[Ben]

It's nice to be nice. Be nice for sure.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. And I was like, can you please go and get the schedule from my favorite basketball team and actually put it on my calendar so I know every time that there's a game and it's just one ask multiple tasks.

[Ben]

It's unbelievable. Like, we can be so lazy. We don't need to do anything anymore because the Galaxy is here.

[Josh Peck]

Yes. Do you do the daily brief? You like this? The now brief?

[Ben]

Of course.

[Josh Peck]

This thing, this now brief. It's like I'm the president. Maybe not of America, but of the class. Presidential class.

[Ben]

You're not even the president of your own house. Where are you the president in your own mind?

[Josh Peck]

In my small office that my wife allows me to have. But you know, with now brief, it's cool because every morning I get like a daily brief of like weather or energy scores my appointments. It's great. I feel very powerful. But anyway, enough is enough. Listen, we can only gush so much. Ben, do you want to tell the people how they can get one?

[Ben]

Get your Galaxy S25 Ultra [e-mail] it's as easy as that.

[Josh Peck]

Certain features compatible with select Apple apps and require Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy. Now brief displays daily select information and select apps. A Internet connection may be required. Galaxy AI features by Samsung free through 2025 require a Samsung account login. Certain features compatible with select apps and require Google Gemini account Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy.

[Ben]

This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Caraway. Folks, February is the time for entertaining. Whether it was a Galentine's Day brunch with the gals or maybe a beautiful super bowl party. Or perhaps you are just making your wife a gorgeous meal. What's more gorgeous than using products that not only look gorgeous but are also gorgeous for our insides? Folks, because we're done cooking with toxins. Let me tell you something. 95% of home goods are made with toxic chemicals like PTFE or Teflon. Over 70% of fry pan sold in America contain Teflon. What are you nuts? 97% of Americans have PFAS, toxic chemicals from nonstick cookware in their blood. And two and a half minutes is all it takes before a nonstick pan overheats and releases said toxins. Nope. Out New Year. We don't want toxins. We want Caraway. They have everything that you could possibly need, from knives to cutting boards to pots to pans. And again, everything is gorgeous. We want gorgeous in our life, folks. That's what 2025 is about. Feeling good, eating good, but also looking good. Okay? We always want to look good in everything that we do. I love Caraway. All the products are fantastic. Highly recommend the nonstick pans. They're fantastic for eggs. If you want the perfect sunny side up egg. Ooh baby, you got by Caraway. So, folks, make the swap to Non Toxic Living today with Caraway's cook set. It will save you $150 versus buying items individually. Plus if you visit CarawayHome.com guys10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit carawayhome.com guys10 or use code guys10 at checkout. Caraway Non Toxic Cookware Made Modern Hi lovelies.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm sex educator Ruby Reh. And I'm Megan Vartan Hansen, an OnlyFans creator, former Sex worker and sex positive columnist. In our brand new podcast, the Ins and Outs, we're welcoming you to an unfiltered, playful and inclusive space to talk all about sex in all its glory, nuance and messiness. I feel like we're the sex education people need. We'll unpick all the big questions like how do we talk about kinks and fantasies? Does stress kill the vibe? Oh, and does wearing socks actually lead to better orgasms? So come on in, listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts. It's gonna be juicy.

[Josh Peck]

Can I take you guys through my super bowl meal? Because I went pretty dark and insane.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

So we start the day. I decide I'm gonna make spinach artichoke dip, and I'm gonna do it. We're not gonna do some shit. Chip some cracker. We're gonna be classy and get a nice sourdough baguette.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, little crostini.

[Josh Peck]

Should I go to this incredible bakery in the morning, get two beautiful sourdoughs, and I go, there's this candied croissant thing. I said, let's start the day off right. So I'm pounding that on my. My drive back. There is nothing left. By the time I get home, the bakery is three minutes from the house gobbling. Okay. Because I'm like, if I land and it's gone, I never had it. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, yes, yes. If you go to McDonald's and eat it in the car and it's gone by the time you get home, you didn't have McDonald's and you can have second dinner.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

And then I start to make the spinach artichoke dip. But the sourdough is so good. This baguette that I got, and I've got too much bread, and I go, I'm just gonna get some butter. I have some nice butter in the fridge. And I'm just smacking, like thick ass pieces of butter. Like, you can see your teeth in the bite on the sourdough. Right? This is. Then my wife's made this beautiful homemade family recipe macaroni salad for the party.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Josh Peck]

But I go, now, this is a light. It's very light. It's not cheap, creamy. There's notes. There's a little vinegar in there. Oh, perfect.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Josh Peck]

I crush two bowls, right?

[Nicole Byer]

Elbows, you know what I'm saying?

[Josh Peck]

The king of noodles.

[Nicole Byer]

I do like an elbow, but I also like a capitelle.

[Ben]

Delicious.

[Josh Peck]

Don't get me started.

[Nicole Byer]

I love a capitelle.

[Josh Peck]

Then I'm crushing at my mother in law's house. We're doing chicken tenders, teriyaki chicken wings. There was a cupcake assortment, French onion dip. It was. It started to get out of control. My wife all of a sudden was like, oh, I made pretzels. I'm like, when and where and who does that?

[Nicole Byer]

Homemade pretzels. That's nice.

[Ben]

That is nice.

[Josh Peck]

Pretzels. It was a smorgasbord.

[Ben]

Oh.

[Josh Peck]

And then my. My mother in law made banana cream pie.

[Ben]

But that's my favorite. But my favorite.

[Josh Peck]

You guys ready for this?

[Ben]

Vanilla wafers. The wafers.

[Josh Peck]

But she made it in a trifle, so it wasn't in the pie. It was in a. Like a baking pan. And it was layers. It was like a banana cream lasagna.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Ben]

That's nice. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that's really nice.

[Ben]

Like Magnolia. Have you had that one from Magnolia?

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's just okay. I've had a lot of good homemade ones, and I think it's just okay. I think Magnolia is a little overrated.

[Josh Peck]

Wow.

[Ben]

Just a little. I think their banana cream pie is the cat's Meow.

[Josh Peck]

He's 90. He's 100.

[Nicole Byer]

He lives in the Upper east side. He's talking like his friend. It's the shit.

[Ben]

Oh, it's so good. I need. It was just me and Claudia, Josh.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben]

I made Crunchwrap Supremes from scratch.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that's lovely.

[Ben]

I made a seven layer bean dip.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, what was the meat in the Crunchwrap Supreme?

[Ben]

It was all beef.

[Josh Peck]

Ground beef.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This was. This was fantastic. The refried beans, the yellow rice. It was.

[Josh Peck]

What? You'll learn, Nicole, is that. Ben is a cafeteria Jew.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Josh Peck]

In that he picks and chooses what he wants. Tell it. Tell her about the Philly cheesesteak you had the day before.

[Ben]

I did, but I just want you to know, Josh, there was no cheese in my Crunchwrap Supreme. So what was that? Okay, but there was no cheese.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait. There was no cheese in the Crunchwrap Supreme. What are we doing?

[Ben]

No, I picked and chose for the day.

[Josh Peck]

I can't.

[Nicole Byer]

Then that's not. I don't know. To me, that's not a Crunchwrap supreme.

[Ben]

If there's no cheese on my seven layer bean dip. Josh, you brought us down a dark path. Our seven layer bean dip. Do we like bean dip? No.

[Nicole Byer]

I could take it or leave it. I'm not a huge bean head.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, me either.

[Ben]

You know grilled salami? I made. I made homemade mini hot dogs. We like pigs in a blanket.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, that's nice. I love a pig in a blanket. A little puff pastry.

[Ben]

Puff pastry.

[Josh Peck]

Puff it up. A lot of butter in that puff pastry mixed with that meat. Nicole, I don't know what your kosher it's like, but as you know, you're sure. Kosher means you don't mix meat and dairy.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, I know that.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

You know, Central Jersey gal.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

And I just. I don't understand how there could be a video the day before. And then we say, but there was no cheese in the Crunchwrap. And we Say that in a celebratory fashion.

[Ben]

The thing that, Nicole. About Josh, Nicole, is that he has. He is an issue with the people choosing to live their life however they want.

[Josh Peck]

Wait.

[Nicole Byer]

Are you kosher?

[Josh Peck]

No. Yes. No, you're not.

[Ben]

You are not. I do my best, Nicole. I do my best.

[Nicole Byer]

Huh.

[Ben]

Okay. I grew up.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have a kosher kitchen?

[Ben]

I'm relatively religious. I do. Look, here's the thing. I do have a kosher kitchen. I have different meat forks. I have different dairy forks.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have different sinks, plates?

[Ben]

I don't have different sinks.

[Nicole Byer]

That's not a kosher kitchen.

[Ben]

Don't go to that level. Okay. Okay. The two big Jews over there. The two of you. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

When you moved in, did you sanitize it? Did you do the whole sanitizing process?

[Ben]

I burned it to the ground when I moved in, and I built it from scratch. It was complete arson. I moved in, I lit the doorman on fire. Doorman.

[Nicole Byer]

Then that's the people living in California.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben]

Well. Aaron Bass.

[Josh Peck]

Do you like Karen Bass as much as Ben does?

[Nicole Byer]

I mean, she's interesting.

[Josh Peck]

Karen Bass Pro Shop. That's going to be your next chapter. Can you imagine?

[Nicole Byer]

That would be so funny. Have you seen the Bass Pro Shops that are shaped like pyramids? Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

What a collab.

[Nicole Byer]

What are they doing?

[Josh Peck]

I love. I love an outdoors shop. I don't care who knows.

[Ben]

It's.

[Nicole Byer]

That's funny. Do you like camping?

[Josh Peck]

Never. I'll never do it. It's ridiculous. Go home at the end of the night.

[Nicole Byer]

I agree. Yeah. I don't want to be outside. I love inside.

[Josh Peck]

You can't see, it's dark. You're in the woods. Go to Motel 6, come back early.

[Ben]

There's certainly no need to sleep there.

[Nicole Byer]

That Disney money.

[Ben]

One thing about Josh, he won't stay at a nice hotel. Courtyard Marriott. That's the top.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, really?

[Josh Peck]

No, I will, but I was saying it as it pertains to a campsite.

[Ben]

Sure.

[Nicole Byer]

That's the closest thing. I get it. We're not having a Ritz Carlton in the woods.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, there's not a Ritz Carlton. The Frickin Poconos.

[Ben]

Maybe there is.

[Josh Peck]

It's probably a nice hotel.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. We don't know. Let's never look it up. I'm not going to the Poconos.

[Josh Peck]

Right. Where? Where did you vacation? Living in Central Jersey, growing up. The Jersey Shore?

[Nicole Byer]

No, we didn't really vacation. We grew up like we were destitute. We drove to Chicago every year in the Summer. Because that's where my family lived. And when I grew up, I was like, oh, I think we could have flown. I think it. I don't think it would have broke the bank, but we drove every year. And my dad would not turn on the air because that wasted gas. So then he would just turn on the. The vents, so hot air would blow at us. Oh, my. It took 16 hours. It took so long.

[Josh Peck]

So long. You're driving through Indiana?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. Well, no. Pennsylvania is the worst. Pennsylvania never ends.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And then Ohio is not so bad in Indiana. To get to Chicago is not that bad, but it's Pennsylvania that sucks. Ugh.

[Josh Peck]

Are you guys singing songs? Is there punch buggy?

[Nicole Byer]

No. Daddy's like, shut up. No.

[Ben]

You're like, I'm so hot.

[Josh Peck]

Are we doing drive throughs? Are we doing snacks on the road?

[Nicole Byer]

We would be like, we are hungry. Please.

[Josh Peck]

We're great.

[Nicole Byer]

Then my dad would be like, well, we're not out of gas yet. We would only get fed when he had to refuel. And then we would go to McDonald's. And then we would only be able to get like, little. The little Happy Meals. You'd be like, but I haven't eaten in hours. And you're like, sorry about it.

[Ben]

You know, I respect that. Only eating when you refill. That is how. That is time management at its finest.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, but you have children. Literally just children, like six year olds being like, please feed me. And we would have snacks, but the snacks would be gone very quickly.

[Ben]

You should have loaded up harder at the rest stop before.

[Nicole Byer]

But you thought we were allowed to buy treats. Oh, you thought that was a nice. No. Eat the Ritz crackers in the car. And you're like, but they've been gone for two hours. Yes, I ate them all night to begin with.

[Josh Peck]

They were a bit dry in the beginning.

[Nicole Byer]

They're so dry.

[Ben]

Ritz crackers are very underrated, though.

[Nicole Byer]

I do love them. They're so delicious. They're apparently so bad for you.

[Ben]

That makes sense.

[Nicole Byer]

They're just, like, filled with oil. And I was like, how. How do you do that to a cracker? What America does to food is kind of wild.

[Josh Peck]

How about a club cracker? You ever done one of those?

[Nicole Byer]

Those are nice. I like those. Those are also bad for you.

[Josh Peck]

50 cents. Favorite cracker. I'm sorry. Cut that out, guys.

[Nicole Byer]

No, no, that's true.

[Josh Peck]

I don't know if that's true.

[Nicole Byer]

Keep that in.

[Josh Peck]

I don't want 50 to come for me. But imagine it's his favorite cracker.

[Nicole Byer]

Imagine Eminem responding. He's like, that's not my favorite cracker. It's Eminem. Cut that out.

[Josh Peck]

Speaking of people, can we just finish about the Super Bowl? Are people such losers for booing Taylor Swift?

[Nicole Byer]

That was weird. That was so weird. This woman, so mean, cares. If you don't like her, just don't go to her concerts, don't listen to her music, don't boo her in person. She's a human being who can hear and see you.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben]

It. It's Eagles fans. It's Eagles fans. That's it. The whole arena was Eagles fans and Eagles. And Eagles fans just don't care about anything but the Eagles. The same way that 76ers fans don't care about anything but the 76ers. It's these Philadelphia people, okay? It's a good thing that they won, because they would have rioted. So I'm happy that they won. And, yeah, Taylor Swift being booed. Not cool. This woman, she's. She's a great, great artist.

[Nicole Byer]

Nothing like that. She was like, what's happening? She was like, me. Is this for me? What is going on? Yes, because that's what I would have done. Like, really?

[Josh Peck]

And she doesn't hurt anyone by being Taylor Swift and dating some handsome folk. Like, it doesn't hurt the NFL because there's a few. Two cutaways. Oh, I'm sorry. Do I need to look at the offensive coordinator drinking Gatorade longer?

[Ben]

Show me the fucking skybox.

[Josh Peck]

I want to see her with all the mahomes.

[Nicole Byer]

I do wish she had stood up and then just, like, put her arms out and been like, give me more.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, evil, evil era.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, whatever. She's got so much money, she doesn't give a shit if maybe she's sad, you know, the day after, but, like, at the end of the day, she's gonna hop on her private jet and have a nice time. Yeah, a very nice time.

[Ben]

She has so much money.

[Nicole Byer]

So much money.

[Ben]

Oh, my God, the problems that that money solves. People say money doesn't solve problems. Have Taylor Swift's money.

[Josh Peck]

It does.

[Ben]

Okay? It does.

[Nicole Byer]

You have no problems if you have that much money. A leak in your house, you never deal with it. Your assistant deals with it. Your assistant's assistant's assistants deal with it.

[Ben]

Yeah, I want even the worst. Even the worst problem. You can buy it. It's fine.

[Josh Peck]

What?

[Ben]

Your friend dies. Buy a new friend. You know, like, eat money. Maybe.

[Nicole Byer]

Barbara Streisand did with her dogs.

[Josh Peck]

I know.

[Nicole Byer]

And she also has a mall in her home.

[Josh Peck]

Well, yeah. And she has a doll city.

[Nicole Byer]

I want to be rich.

[Josh Peck]

I know.

[Nicole Byer]

I want to have stupid. I want a go kart track in my backyard.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, give me a couple of, like, dumb, rich.

[Nicole Byer]

A go kart. Definitely a go kart track in my backyard.

[Josh Peck]

Like, dirt track or, like.

[Nicole Byer]

No, like, go indoor. Like, like a paved outdoor go kart track. I would love to have, like, a pool that is, like, with, like, fake rocks that looks like it's in Hawaii, but it's not. And then, like, a big old slide. Oh, my God. What else do I want? Wow. I've never really thought of it. A shoe room. A shoe room. A wig room.

[Josh Peck]

Do you like all types of shoes? Do you like high heels? You like sneakers? What's your. Sorry.

[Nicole Byer]

I wear a lot of sneakers. I only really wear sneakers. I have so many heels that I just look at and then sometimes try on and then ask my dog if he likes them, and then I put them right away.

[Josh Peck]

I get it.

[Nicole Byer]

They're so hard to walk in.

[Josh Peck]

Olivia, are high heels ridiculous?

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's kind of goofy.

[Josh Peck]

I wear, like, mostly sneakers or loafers. It's always, like, nice to dream about.

[Nicole Byer]

Having a high heel, but no, I.

[Josh Peck]

Don'T commit to the bit.

[Ben]

This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Herobred. Folks, you know that we are always trying to lose weight. Okay? We're injecting. Okay? We're going to the gym. We're taking creatine. We're all about nutrition, looking good, and feeling good. The number one problem with every single diet is restriction, right? We go, okay, we want to eat no bread. You do that for a month, and then all of a sudden you're like, I need bread. I miss bread. Okay? We need lifestyle changes that are realistic, and that is Herobred. Hero bread is low carb, zero grams of sugar, high in fiber, bread that tastes like bread. I know. You're like, ben, what are you talking about? What are you nuts? It can't possibly taste like bread. You need to try it and understand that it not only tastes like bread, but it feels like bread. It's not hard. It's nice and soft, just like the regular bread, except better for you. It fits perfectly into every lifestyle because it tastes amazing, even if you're not trying to lose a couple of pounds. Why not just have bread that's healthier for you, that is just a little bit more, I don't know, packed with protein? How about that? Who doesn't want protein? Bread protein fills you up. By filling up on good things, you end up eating less regardless of if you're on a diet or not. It's just better for you. Not only do they have white bread, they have bagels. Okay, how about a bagel with 4 grams of net carbs, zero sugar and 19 grams of protein? How does that sound, pal? I think it sounds pretty freaking delicious. They also have croissants, they have wraps, they have Hawaiian buns, you name it, Herobred has it all. So folks, if you're ready to have low net carb, high fiber bread with all the amazing texture of regular bread, then you got to get Herobread. And Herobread is offering 10% off your order. So go to H e r O co and use code goodguys at checkout. That's goodguyshero Co. H E R O CO. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Earn In. Life doesn't happen biweekly, so why should Payday? The money you earn can be in your hands today with earnin. Earnin is an app that gives you access to your pay as you work up to $100 per day and up to $750 per pay period. This is it folks. This is the future. We're working. We don't want to wait two weeks to see our paycheck. What if we have to pay for something today? What if we just need a little extra scratch? That's what Earn in is for. If you have a special night out and maybe you don't have enough money to cover it today, maybe a last minute gift for a loved one. And again, you could afford it in two weeks, but you can't today. An unexpected trip to the vet. Emergencies happen. There are so many for Earn In. There's so many use cases for having access to your money early and your money when you need it. And Earn in should just be a part of your financial routine. There are over 4 million customers who say things like when I think about Earn In, I think about financial stability and security. It gives me a lot of peace of mind. It would give me peace of mind too, folks. So download Earn in today, spelled E A R N I N in the Google Play or Apple App Store. When you download the Earn in app, type in Good Guys under Podcast when you sign up. It'll really help the show. Good Guys under Podcast. Earn in is a financial technology company, not a bank. Cashouts are based on your available earnings. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Option to expedite your transfer for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. See the cashout user agreement for details. Service is not available in all states. I want to go back to things that we'd get in our house if we were loaded, because I like this. Josh, what are you getting? Something crazy.

[Josh Peck]

I don't have crazy design. Like, I. I'm so frugal. Like, I want a sauna and I won't pull the trigger.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so attainable.

[Josh Peck]

I know they sell them at Costco.

[Nicole Byer]

That is so you could literally reach out to a company and they'll send you one.

[Josh Peck]

He offered Shout Out Sunlight Saunas. I don't know why I'm shouting them out. I didn't take them up on it. Why is it I gotta put. I gotta put power on the other side of the garage?

[Ben]

Not that anybody asks, but I'm getting a hibachi table and a hibachi chef. That's my rich dream.

[Nicole Byer]

See, that's nice.

[Ben]

But that's. I have a live in hibachi chef. I have a hibachi table, and I say, it's time. It's hibachi time. And he's like, Ben, it's 8:30 in the morning. I'm like, it's hibachi time. That's. That's being rich.

[Nicole Byer]

That's fun. But, yeah, does the chef. Are there other workers who live with you or just the chef?

[Ben]

No, it's just me and him.

[Josh Peck]

If you want anything not made on a flat top, he's out.

[Nicole Byer]

He's out. He's like, I can't use a skillet.

[Josh Peck]

You could have. You could have anything from Waffle House.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah, you could. I do love a Waffle House. I found a waffle maker in my kitchen. I didn't know I had one. And then I had. My boyfriend made waffles for me, and it was so lovely. I was like, wow. This is how, like, civilized people live. They cook for themselves. I don't. I know I'm bad at cooking, so I don't do it.

[Josh Peck]

What about. Cause you have a podcast, which. Why won't you date me? But you're in a relation. I know people bring it up. How's that?

[Nicole Byer]

So far so good.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I hope when this airs, it's still going good by next Thursday. Oh, God. I text him and be like, is it okay? Yeah, it's going great. He's so nice.

[Josh Peck]

Is he a civilian or is he in showbiz?

[Nicole Byer]

No, he's a civilian. So I don't, I don't really like, talk too, too much about him because I. I'm trying to like, figure out what's respectful, privacy wise for him. Because he didn't ask for this. He didn't be talked about. He didn't ask. Yeah, he simply didn't ask for this.

[Josh Peck]

And what's navigating that? Like, does it feel natural or did you spend a lot of time single? So it's like you're learning. It's a new thing.

[Nicole Byer]

I spent a lot of time single and I was in like a situationship for like a year and a half, almost two years. And he was like, do not talk about me ever. So then that was super hard because I was like, but I do talk about my life. And then I would just like mention him. Be like I was on a date with somebody. Like, I would just like, because it was a date. So I wasn't lying, but I wasn't like, oh, this is this person that.

[Josh Peck]

I've basically been seeing.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, but I wasn't his girlfriend. And I once was like, you're my boyfriend, right? And he was like, both parties have to agree to that. And I was like, okay, I guess I die now. And I wrote a joke about that conversation and I asked him if I could tell it, and he said yes. And he came to the show and then he was like, you can't tell that again. I was like, okay, this guy sounds.

[Josh Peck]

Like a real winner.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh yeah, he was fun. He was as if like a red flag, like anamorphed into a person. And I was like, I'll stay. I like that. But now I'm dating somebody who's like, genuinely very sweet and has said openly, like, I don't mind if you talk about me. Just I trust you. Which to me means, oh, I trust you to not say like super intimate things or like reveal like, you know, personal, personal stuff about him. Because that's not nice. That's not fair.

[Josh Peck]

That's so healthy. Like, I remember I dated a girl forever who would forever ago, but we only dated for three months because she would just like drink and walk around her apartment when people were there shirtless. And I'd be like, that's just Dana.

[Nicole Byer]

That's great.

[Josh Peck]

I thought so too. Apparently it's a red flag.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny.

[Josh Peck]

Cause people were like, she's cheating on you.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, yeah, prob.

[Josh Peck]

I was like, shirtless. Dana's cheating on wa.

[Nicole Byer]

But what, what would it take for her to take her Shirt off.

[Josh Peck]

Couple sips.

[Nicole Byer]

And was it titties out or, like, in a bra, boobies out?

[Josh Peck]

But she didn't. She had the perfect boobs to walk around without a shirt on.

[Nicole Byer]

See if I had great, great titties. You couldn't stop me. I would show them to everybody.

[Josh Peck]

Totally.

[Nicole Byer]

And be like, can you believe that I have these? That's what I would do.

[Josh Peck]

Like, if I didn't need top surgery from being morbidly obese, I would. I knew that. Get you. I would walk around with my shirt off constantly.

[Nicole Byer]

It's just the choice to say morbidly obese. It's just very fun.

[Josh Peck]

It's the top surgery for me. I remember I went to a plastic surgeon once to be like, you know, I have some skin around my chest from losing a bunch of weight. I'd love to have it. And she's like, no problem. It's. So when we do the top surgery, I was like, sorry.

[Nicole Byer]

It is wild to say to, like, a CIS man top, like, top surgery just implies removing breasts. And you're like, you didn't have to say that. I knew what they were. You saying it out loud really solidifies what they are. And I no longer can live in a fantasy. That is just a little extra skin. Now I got some deep ladies that sometimes doctors are so mean. You're in my head.

[Josh Peck]

You are my inner monologue. Oh, it hurts, but it's good.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. And you're like, okay, yeah, okay.

[Josh Peck]

We didn't move forward with it. She's like, here's your options. Horrible scarring or a little extra skin. I was like, it all sounds bad.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. Sounds bad. Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

That's a ceasefire. No one wants. Should we get to some stories? Ben or. Ben, you got anything else?

[Ben]

No. Throw in a story.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, before you throw in a story, have you guys seen. I think it's like, Temptation Island, Spain. Have you seen the videos of this man, Montoya?

[Josh Peck]

No, I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

So it's in Spanish, so I simply don't really understand the premise of it. No idea, right? But the video is of this man watching a video of his girlfriend getting fucking blasted by somebody else. Like, railed, like, fucked, like, back blown out. And then he starts, like, running. And the host just goes, montoya, por favor. And he runs along the beach. There's lightning in the sky. And then he, like, falls to the sand, and he's like, no.

[Josh Peck]

I have.

[Nicole Byer]

No idea what's going on or why they have to watch their significant others fuck other people.

[Ben]

Holy crap.

[Nicole Byer]

But then he did something. I saw another video he did. He disobeyed the rules so he wasn't allowed to watch her fuck somebody else. He had to turn his back while the other men watched and told him what happened. This show is just to torture this one man. Montoya.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, my God.

[Ben]

This show sounds unbelievable.

[Nicole Byer]

It's wild. And I've just been getting little pieces fed to me, and I. I'm waiting for the whole episode to get stitched together so I can understand what's going on.

[Ben]

Oh, my God. I found my new favorite show. We don't have good enough shows in the States. We need Temptation Island.

[Nicole Byer]

I agree.

[Josh Peck]

That brings us to our next segment. Who would you want to be cuckolded by? So here's the thing. Should we all talk about. I definitely wouldn't want my wife to be with a guy who was like. Like, if she was with Chris Hemsworth, that would just bum me out.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

Because I'd be like, I. Yeah, you're right. Good move. Yeah, I would, too.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. No, I'm trying to think of, like, a hot person. I'd be like, oh, I guess that's okay. Yeah. Angela Bassett. If you fucked Angela Bassett, I'd be like, I get it. She's so strong. And I love what's love got to do with it.

[Ben]

It's crazy, but I almost think, Josh, like a Chris Hemsworth. You'd feel better than, like, watching Paige have sex with McLovin or somebody, like, really sinewy. I don't want that. I don't know. To lose.

[Josh Peck]

Lose. Yeah. I don't know why I brought it up.

[Ben]

This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. Oh, I've always wanted to see that. What a fabulous sponsor. I love booking.com because, folks, I love traveling. Who doesn't love traveling? And finding a place to stay is difficult, you know? And I know that booking.com is always going to have exactly what I am looking for. Tons of variety, from hotels to vacation rentals. I know that I can get a gorgeous, gorgeous place to [e-mail] recently, we came down to Miami for a wedding, and we said, you know what? We don't want to go home. The weather's too good, and the New York weather is just gross. So last minute, we hopped on booking.com and we found a gorgeous place to stay in South Florida. Ooh, it was fantastic. The beach, unbelievable. The pool, unbelievable. Oh, and the spa at this hotel was out of this world. That said, I went into the Steam room. And there was literally a guy taking a call. Speakerphone. What are you nuts? Let me relax. But that's not the hotel's fault. That's the guy's fault. Okay? He needs to go somewhere else. He didn't use booking.com. he didn't. Because people who use booking.com are great people and he's not one of those people. Okay? But yeah, back to the spa. Amazing. The massage a plus the steam room. Once that guy left out of this world. And that, folks, is booking.combooking. yeah. So no matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're looking for on booking.com booking.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Ben]

This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Chewy. If you're a pet parent like me, you know about Chewy. And if you don't, what are you, nuts? And when they say they have everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy, they're not messing around to keep them happy. Chewy has over 100,000 products from all the brands my beautiful Romeo loves at prices. I love food, treats, beds, you name it, they have it. And it gets shipped directly to your door in one to two days. And not just for dogs. Also cats, also birds, fish, reptiles, whatever floats your boat. Chewy has it all. To keep them healthy, Chewy offers pet prescriptions, pet insurance, telehealth visits, and is even rolling out vet clinics across the country. What can't they do? Thanks to Chewy's auto ship feature, I'm never getting that. I'm so disappointed in you look from Romeo. I've set up recurring shipments of all the essentials we use, so I'm never running out and can change or cancel my auto ship order at any time. Incredibly convenient. And one less thing I have to worry about. Speaking of not worrying, Chewy has top tier 247 customer service. I can get expert advice over chat or phone calls day or night. Plus, if my pet or I don't love something, Chewy's 100% satisfaction guarantee lets me return it within a year. So no questions asked, folks. Romeo loves getting his food from Chewy because it's on auto ship and you never have to run to the store. I know you guys know what this is like, you wake up in the morning, you're like, oh crap, I just finished the bag of food last night and now I need to go to the store. No, no, our pets don't deserve that. They deserve to have have food on time. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.comgoodguys that's chewy.comgoodguys to save $20 on your first order with free shipping chewy.comgoodguys minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details.

[Josh Peck]

What are you guys doing for. You got anything going on for Valentine's Day with your boat?

[Nicole Byer]

I said you can either plan something or not.

[Ben]

Because.

[Nicole Byer]

Because I don't know what I want. And I felt wild being like, plan something. Surprise me. I don't know. I simply don't know what I want.

[Josh Peck]

Right.

[Nicole Byer]

So we might do something, we might not. It depends.

[Josh Peck]

My friends in the food biz and Ben's a celebrity chef, so you'll have good insight on this, Ben. They go, valentine's Day is a hoax. It's bullshit. For restaurants, you're gonna get crappy food, completely overpriced. The move is you go out the 13th or the 15th and you spend the 14th in.

[Nicole Byer]

I think that's what we might be doing because I made reservations at Musso and Frank. I've never been there. So we're going the day after Valentine's Day because I couldn't get it on Valentine's Day. And he was like, honestly, Nicole, that's better. And I was like, like, I did. I did good. Yeah, I did good. I'm a good girl. Please. And then he was like, shut up.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, I know. It's so. It's so scary. It's new.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

It's fun.

[Nicole Byer]

It's nice.

[Josh Peck]

You deserve love.

[Nicole Byer]

Hey, thank you. That's what my therapist says all the time.

[Josh Peck]

You do?

[Ben]

You do.

[Nicole Byer]

She says all parts of you deserve to be loved. And that. That took a real long time to understand because I was like this. What do you mean? Of course. Yeah, all parts of me. But then I'd like be annoying and be like, he's gonna break up with me because I was just so fucking annoying. And he's like, no, no, you took a nap and you were fine.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. Say more about that.

[Nicole Byer]

Taking naps that end.

[Josh Peck]

What were you nervous about him not loving or.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that I'm just like loud. That I love Teehee and hahahas. I'm just a loud person. Like, I scream so much and I'm just. I'm weird. I'm just. I'm a strange person. I just thought he would get sick of it. And he seems to not get sick of it. He seems to find it nice.

[Josh Peck]

Isn't that amazing?

[Nicole Byer]

It's really nice because I've dated a lot of men who are like, ugh, I don't. You're very loud. Or you're always late. I'm like, yes, I'm black. We run at a different. A different timeline than everybody else, But I'm super. I'm late to everything. And my boyfriend is very kind and always asks, do you need more time? Are you still good for that time? And it's just a nice way of him being like, I know you're probably running behind, just so I know. Like, what is your estimated time of a ride? It's just nice. And it feels considerate because sometimes I will have a long day and I will be rushing to get somewhere, and then he's like, it's okay if you need, like, 20 more minutes or an hour more. Like, it's just. It's really considerate and kind, as opposed to, like, him being like, why can't you be on time? And it's like, genetics.

[Josh Peck]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

He's a real sweetie.

[Josh Peck]

That's so nice.

[Nicole Byer]

That's nice.

[Josh Peck]

Well, I've got a story here. And you know, why not? And this was. I ate 30 eggs a day for 30 days, mostly raw. All the changes to my body, including sex drive, energy, and cholesterol, were positive, but I almost got broken up with. And imagine. Imagine this egg, toots. Can you imagine Joseph Everett, creator of the popular what I've learned YouTube channel, devoured 900 eggs in a month.

[Ben]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole Byer]

When did he do this? Not recently.

[Josh Peck]

36 eggs a day. Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you. Egg truck got broken into and eggs were stolen. I was like, this is funny. Black market fucking eggs. We're living in the dumbest timeline.

[Josh Peck]

Totally.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, I feel dumb all day, every day. The bird flew. What are we doing? Measles is back. What are we doing?

[Josh Peck]

I was not expecting measles to return.

[Nicole Byer]

No, because there's vaccines that eradicated it. Remember chickenpox? Yeah, I got chickenpox. Ben, did you get chickenpox? Of course they don't get it now because there's a vaccine.

[Ben]

Yep.

[Nicole Byer]

And people will probably stop taking that one, too. And then they'll come back to the.

[Josh Peck]

But then you rob people down the road of shingles, and that's not cool.

[Ben]

You saw that.

[Nicole Byer]

The broccoli shingles.

[Ben]

I think broccoli is killing people. It was either Walmart or Costco. There's a Big recall on broccoli.

[Nicole Byer]

Really?

[Ben]

Yeah. It's deadly. I sent that to you, Josh. Right. It was broccoli.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

Broccoli killing people left and right. They're dying.

[Josh Peck]

This guy from eating the eggs, gained 13 pounds of muscle mass.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh. To get protein.

[Josh Peck]

He had a notable drop in triglycerides.

[Nicole Byer]

Don't know what that means.

[Josh Peck]

He was able to lift 44 more pounds.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Josh Peck]

But he said that it wasn't without a tic ups on night five. He admitted, I had so much gas I couldn't sleep. And my girlfriend asked me to sleep on the sofa because the flatulence was keeping her awake.

[Nicole Byer]

Men get dedicated to a lot of weird shit. It totally the fact that man had to sleep on a couch with a woman in the nice comfy bed. And he said, no, I will forge ahead. I will continue to eat raw eggs.

[Ben]

Were they raw?

[Josh Peck]

They were raw, yeah.

[Ben]

Oh, man.

[Nicole Byer]

Not for me.

[Josh Peck]

Cook.

[Ben]

Mine either.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Love a cook.

[Josh Peck]

Cooking is an option.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, Cook them.

[Josh Peck]

Do it.

[Nicole Byer]

Raw eggs. For what? I guess.

[Ben]

No. What's the difference? You can't have a big omelet.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, I guess not.

[Josh Peck]

What do we think about. On a quasi serious note, you know this bombshell report came out about Liam Payne, former, sadly deceased from One Direction. And they're saying things like struggled with sexuality and like, all these things coming out. And then the great twitch from Ellen, the Ellen show, who passed away sadly. And his wife sort of did this tell all book. Like, what is this with bringing things up when people are gone?

[Nicole Byer]

I simply don't know. I think it's fucking weird when a person can't defend themselves.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

We shouldn't be publicly talking about them. That's weird.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Weirdo fucking behavior.

[Ben]

Unnecessary.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't like it.

[Josh Peck]

Me too.

[Ben]

No, once you're. Once you're dead, I definitely don't care what your sexuality was when you were alive.

[Nicole Byer]

No, you're dead.

[Ben]

Not my business.

[Nicole Byer]

He's dead. He could fuck whoever he wants. He can raw dog whatever ghost he wants.

[Ben]

Like anybody.

[Josh Peck]

Could you imagine there's no STDs in heaven. Huh?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think so. New movie, a bunch of people in heaven being like, I'm itching. What's going on? Is it that new guy?

[Josh Peck]

That's how they know the devil's taken over.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, Everybody in heaven already has hpv. Come on.

[Josh Peck]

The whole world does.

[Nicole Byer]

Come on.

[Josh Peck]

Everybody's got it so hot. I mean, if you don't have hpv. Have you been. Did you hear that? That comedian Jim Jeffries got. He. The Village People want to sue him over the ymca. He said it's not about gay dudes. So I guess Jim Jeffries said that YMCA is a gay anthem.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

And he got a letter from Victor Willis wife, Karen Willis, who also manages a VP lead singer that ripped into Jim for his obscene and derogatory and false description of the hit song and sent a cease and desist.

[Ben]

I don't want to get sued. So I don't know if I should comment. That said, it definitely is a gay anthem. I thought all of them were gay. And it was great. The YMCA was. It's about young men and hanging out and doing the ymca.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And being gay.

[Nicole Byer]

And they're dressed like strippers. Right. Isn't like a construction worker a little cop?

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

A fireman. But also that to me sucks because I'm like. That implies that being gay is bad or something. That's gay is bad.

[Ben]

Totally.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, what? You should be so happy.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You should be so happy that a group of people embrace the song.

[Ben]

She should counter sue. We should counter.

[Nicole Byer]

We should counter sue.

[Ben]

We should sue the Village People.

[Nicole Byer]

All of them. All four of the. I don't know how many people are in the Village People.

[Ben]

It's.

[Josh Peck]

I mean the Village People. The West Village People. No, I don't know. Well, there was another story, and I think this one is interesting, but I've lost it. You want to get do some Collins?

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, real people?

[Josh Peck]

Well, they leave us messages.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Josh Peck]

Okay. It's called a speakpipe, but they're real humans. If you want to leave us a message, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com goodguys keep it brief. Brevity is key. Here's from. I don't know, guys.

[Ben]

Major moron here.

[Nicole Byer]

Yesterday I heard a story about someone's.

[Ben]

Partner stopped canoodling with them and the.

[Nicole Byer]

Only way that they could get off.

[Ben]

Was by having their partner describe an entire Thanksgiving meal course by chorus until the end. The grand finale, if you will.

[Nicole Byer]

Anyways, I was like, Claudia Paige, is that you? What are you nuts?

[Josh Peck]

Those are our wives.

[Ben]

And also, in case you were confused, we call our listeners morons. That's why she said moron here. Okay, okay. So she's saying that the her and her. She heard that two people aren't having sex anymore and Canoodling.

[Josh Peck]

Canoodling.

[Ben]

Yeah. That's also something that we do. Yeah. We're sometimes pgd, sometimes R rated. We're a confusing bunch. But her lingo is straight from us. So they no longer canoodle but they read Thanksgiving menus to each other.

[Josh Peck]

And course by course until the big.

[Ben]

Course by course until the. Until the person climaxes.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

It's like constant missionary.

[Josh Peck]

Right.

[Nicole Byer]

Thanksgiving isn't different every night. You want to hear the same? It ends with turkey. Like, I don't like. That's so confusing for me.

[Josh Peck]

Maybe like we fried the turkey this time. Like, this time we did a dry rub.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay. All right. A turdunk. Okay, all right. Maybe there is some variety, but like, I don't know. That's. I'm fat, but not that fat.

[Ben]

I'm not.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm into fucking Mac and cheese. Hearing about it.

[Ben]

Unless it's smoked turkey. None of this. Thanksgiving turkey. Maybe a nice smoked turkey sandwich that I could.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm not a turkey guy.

[Ben]

I said that on my own time.

[Josh Peck]

No one is.

[Nicole Byer]

But I did have a really great turkey one Thanksgiving. My old roommate, John Millhiser made this turkey that was the moistest turkey I've ever. It was so good. And we ate it for days.

[Josh Peck]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

And it never dried out. I simply don't know what he did.

[Ben]

He came in it.

[Nicole Byer]

He came in it. This is seconds after you said your pg. My old roommate came in a turkey. And then I ate it. And I have good memories. And now you've ruined them for me. Okay, okay. Upper east side buddy. Okay.

[Ben]

Talking about climaxing. Can we move on?

[Josh Peck]

She even gave his first and last name.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, yeah. What if this gets clipped out and his family hears it? His mother's like, did you come in her turkey?

[Josh Peck]

He works at H and R block. He's gonna lose his job. This is another one from I don't know.

[Ben]

Hey, good guys, this is Douglas. Male moron here, just reaching out, curious what your guys ideal breakfast is like. If you're gonna have a big delicious breakfast. What's on the menu? What's on the table? Lay it out for us. Cause every time you guys do this, it makes my mouth water.

[Nicole Byer]

I absolutely adore it.

[Ben]

Hope you have a wonderful day. Thanks.

[Josh Peck]

This is the Thanksgiving guy.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Truly. I've moved on to breakfast and I gotta come.

[Josh Peck]

Who doesn't like a little morning sex, honey?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh. I recently went on a pancake journey where every Saturday we would go get pancakes. But I've since relinquished that dream and have really come to the realization that pancakes for the table is the moon.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And then I'm. I like a savory. I like bacon, eggs, toast, a little jam on that toast, some fruit, maybe a little whipped cream to go on the Pancakes. Yeah, depending on what kind of pancakes they are. But I love a lemon ricotta.

[Josh Peck]

Delicious dog. Maybe a little blueberry compote.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that's nice.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, it is.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that's nice.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, it sure is. Same here.

[Ben]

I'm a big French toast guy. If I'm going sweet, I love a big challah French toast.

[Nicole Byer]

That's nice. French toast for the table.

[Ben]

French toast to the table. The pancakes. If you can do a chocolate chip silver dollar pancake, you get those little ones, you can roll them up by hand and dunk them into the little maple syrup. Fantastic. Then I like an omelet.

[Nicole Byer]

I think you gotta wrap them up in sausage to break up the sweet.

[Ben]

Oof. That sounds fantastic. Need that. A little hash brown. I love a potato.

[Nicole Byer]

I do like a potato. Yes, A little hash brown. Ooh, a crispy hash brown. Oh, I don't like breakfast. Potatoes. Like the chunk of my.

[Ben]

No, no, that's crazy. Nice. Nice and crazy.

[Josh Peck]

Where are we?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, stop it.

[Josh Peck]

Outer Michigan. That's not outer Michigan. Upper Peninsula. What are we at the top of the moon?

[Nicole Byer]

What are we in Canada?

[Josh Peck]

Keep your potatoes Ontario. Keep your Manitoba potatoes to yourself and eat them in Regina. I. I like. I like a donut. I love donuts.

[Nicole Byer]

Donuts are nice.

[Josh Peck]

But I also like. I fox with a parfait. I'll go. Okay, I'll go hard body karate. Like a well done. And I know it sounds healthy. It. We all know it isn't.

[Nicole Byer]

No, it's not. With the granola. That's sweet.

[Josh Peck]

Bulky ass granola.

[Nicole Byer]

If you like a parfait, I think it's called Good Things Cafe in the Lower east side. They have like an acai parfait bowl and it's like, like, I don't know how they do it, but the like the acai is like frozeny but also creamy, is really good. And there's berries in it and there's like oats. That's a nice time. I would recommend it to you, but you're all the way up there.

[Ben]

Yeah, I'll take my car down there. Don't worry about it. Park in front of the bus station.

[Nicole Byer]

Hi, good guys, I'm Ally from NYC. I have a quick question. Josh, I'm on your IMDb and I see you were in Captain America. Civil War. What the hell were you in that movie? I feel like I've seen it a good amount of times and I have to know. Anyway, you guys, rack me up. Both of you. Congrats on having babies. Bhbhvh. Yeah. Let me know. I'm so curious. First of all, what were you? A human being who's an actor. That's who you were.

[Josh Peck]

That's exactly right.

[Nicole Byer]

That was a little rude.

[Josh Peck]

God bless you. BH is Baruch Hashem, which in Hebrew is Thank you, God, which we say a lot. And we're both, both our wives are pregnant him with his beautiful first child, Baruch Hashem. Because we're very, you know, the Jews, we're always worried, we're nervous. We praise up me with my third. So it's all over three. I know it sounded good when we were trying wild. So here's the crazy thing. People have asked Captain America, Winter Soldier. There is a Josh Peck credited on that film.

[Nicole Byer]

It's not you.

[Josh Peck]

Here's another crazy thing. The great Chris Evans.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

Has a friend from growing up.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

Named Josh Peck. It is his assistant that he puts on all his films. So he worked on Winter Soldier. Here's the crazy part years ago and I'm going to augment this to try to not get the person who fucked up in trouble. Ok. One day I'm looking at my email two, three years ago and I see an email for a deal. A deal memo for Chris Evans. Yeah. Wow. And when I tell you, it's everything.

[Nicole Byer]

People who, who are listening don't understand how personal that is. That's wild.

[Josh Peck]

Especially for a movie star.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

Like for, you know, for me it's like, oh, Josh would like coffee in his trailer.

[Nicole Byer]

I need to know the details.

[Josh Peck]

You don't get a trailer.

[Nicole Byer]

And I'm like, you have a 10 and yeah, also I, I real quick. I once did a movie, very bit part where I did have a tent and the tent blew away when I was trying to change out of my costume. And I truly was like, the world will continue to humble me in a wild way. And I don't know what I did to deserve that. Let me shine. Let me have a, let me have a. What is it? A fucking honey wagon. The little itty bitty slim trailer with no bathroom. Let me have that, please. Yeah, but keep going.

[Josh Peck]

So I get this and it is his. The only thing that was not included. It was for a new film he was going to do was his fee. So I didn't know.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Josh Peck]

But I knew his travel expense, his per diem, how much hair and makeup, his personal hair and makeup people were going to get. His trainer, his assistant, his driver, if the movie was successful, what the publicity tour would look like.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow.

[Josh Peck]

Private, private planes. It was in depth and I That's fun. Read it a bunch.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I would memorize it. I would then just start reciting it to people at parties. Like, hold the phone. Did I get every word?

[Josh Peck]

Twelve hundred dollars for protein. And so after I stared at it good and long.

[Nicole Byer]

Real quick, did the movie come out?

[Josh Peck]

It's out.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Josh Peck]

The movie has come out.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Josh Peck]

And by the way, shout out the great Chris Evans. We actually did do a little indie movie when I was like 12 and he was 18.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Josh Peck]

And so always been a lovely guy. And this was just a mess up on someone's part.

[Nicole Byer]

Who?

[Josh Peck]

I won't say. So I am attached on an email with a bunch of people. So I write the person, I take everyone off of sea and I just write the person directly. I go, I am not the Josh Peck you're looking for. I said, you've sent me this mistakenly. I've destroyed it. But I want you to know so it doesn't happen again. They write me back, thank you so much. Really appreciate it. I'm correcting this. I got emails the next three years.

[Nicole Byer]

That's incredible.

[Josh Peck]

It was like God playing a joke on me every four months.

[Nicole Byer]

That's incredible.

[Josh Peck]

I'd be like, I guess I didn't get that under five on NCIS Newark. And they'd be like, chris Evans is doing a fucking.

[Nicole Byer]

Is Marvel movie funny?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's wild. Did you ever respond again to be like, you have to take me off of this.

[Josh Peck]

I finally called the person and I go, this is how I knew they were really messed up. Because the secretary answers and they go, hello, so and so. And I go, hi, this is Josh Peck calling for so and so. And they go, oh, we'll put you right through. I'm like, that's never happened. I always hear this, Chris, call back.

[Nicole Byer]

Huh?

[Josh Peck]

Not here. And the person gets right on, quick.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

And goes, hey, Josh, what's going on, man? So blah, blah, blah for Chris. I go, do you know which Josh this is? And he goes, yeah, it's. It's Josh, Chris's guy. I go, no, it's not. And he goes, oh. I go, yeah, I've been getting emails for years. You got to do something about this. He goes, ah, man, somebody messed up. All right, thanks.

[Ben]

Click.

[Josh Peck]

That was it. And the emails have stopped. Sorry, Chris.

[Nicole Byer]

My God.

[Josh Peck]

I know.

[Nicole Byer]

I hope Chris Evans hears this and reaches out to you to find out who that person is so you can fire them. You made the mistake and you're gonna hang up on somebody. That's why I'm keeping real Get. Get. Grow up. Get.

[Ben]

Folks.

[Nicole Byer]

My God. I don't like that. I don't like that at all.

[Josh Peck]

It's. Yeah, well, I get a couple deal emails, too. Okay. You heard a Hallmark Channel. You heard a Lifetime.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, you know, ladies are loyal fans, and I think those are good places to be.

[Josh Peck]

I'm like, premium economy. I'll take it. I was like, big seat on spirit. Lock me in.

[Nicole Byer]

I. It is iconic that an airline calls it Big Sea. Also, planes are falling out of the sky. And we're, like, not bugging out about it like, they are. What?

[Ben]

Yeah, they are.

[Josh Peck]

There was a crash yesterday.

[Nicole Byer]

There are so many crashes. We gotta fucking figure this out.

[Josh Peck]

Is it the drones? Is it the Jersey drones?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. And that's a weird thing that never got solved. Where is the Malaysian flight? We all stopped.

[Ben]

These are the questions we need to be asking. Where? The Malaysian flight.

[Nicole Byer]

Where is it? At that. Where's Amelia?

[Josh Peck]

Where is it?

[Nicole Byer]

Where's that dumb. Where does she go? Making us all look bad. They say you're the first bitch up there. And she went. Mama disappeared. What?

[Josh Peck]

Oh, yeah. We never figured it out.

[Nicole Byer]

No. We don't know where that bitch is.

[Josh Peck]

And who is Saka Jawea?

[Ben]

Who is she?

[Josh Peck]

Who is she?

[Nicole Byer]

Who is she?

[Josh Peck]

Let me ask the hard questions. Thank you. She got a gold dollar. I should know about this person? No.

[Nicole Byer]

She traveled with Lewis and Clark. I don't know. I think she did. She did something good.

[Josh Peck]

Sounds great.

[Nicole Byer]

She does have a gold dollar. Remember when they were gonna put Harriet Tubman on Tubman on the. I call her Tugman for a very long time until in mixed company, I said it and they're like, that's not her name and you of all people should know that. And I said, okay, yeah, you're right. But they were like, gonna put her on the $20 bill, and then we never did.

[Josh Peck]

What happened?

[Ben]

I don't know. We're doing away with the penny. You saw that? The penny's gone pennies out. Do you know how much?

[Nicole Byer]

9.99. And I hand them a 10. What then happens?

[Ben]

Do you know how much it costs? I just found this ad. Do you know how much it costs to make the penny?

[Nicole Byer]

One penny, three cents. That's a bad deal. And Trump knows deals.

[Ben]

You know what? She considered it the dime.

[Nicole Byer]

How much?

[Ben]

9 cents.

[Nicole Byer]

It costs 9 cents to make 10 cents.

[Ben]

9. Sorry. To make the nickel.

[Nicole Byer]

9 cents to make a nickel.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, I have problems with our change. No more change. Change is done. No more. 9.99. Whole numbers. Whole numbers.

[Josh Peck]

Should we get to what are you nuts?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

All right. Our final segment is called what are you nuts? It's our gripes with people, places and things, big or small, whatever's currently sticking in your craw. Ben and I will start. You go last, Ben, what do you got?

[Ben]

It's just the general critiquing when I put out a recipe, Josh. Okay. I put something out. Okay. Sometimes I like to put in. It's specific to cilantro. Okay. This is my. What do you nuts is cilantro? Sometimes I like to experiment. I like cilantro. I'll even throw a cilantro sometimes in a meatball. Which people are. They go crazy. They're like, cilantro and meatballs. What are you nuts? And I understand that that was a little bit crazy. Some people have an aversion to cilantro. Some people think that it tastes like soap. I think that it tastes delicious. So I go for my super bowl spread. And I'm thinking of the people, Josh. I'm thinking, you know, a lot of these people, they don't like cilantro. They think that it tastes like soap. They have an adverse reaction. So I don't put cilantro in my guacamole. Oh, my God, World War Three. You'd think that the way that I just insulted the maker of the guacamole by not putting in cilantro. What are you, nuts? The stars of the guacamole, Josh. Avocado, a little onion, little tomato, salt, pepper, lime. Cilantro is optional. Okay? I like it, but most people don't. So I leave it out. When I don't leave. When I leave it out, they want it back in. I can't win. That's it. What are you, nuts?

[Josh Peck]

My what are you nuts is Costco. And I love Costco, but people love Costco too much. I was there this morning with my son. We were gassing up. I'm cheap. And it's 10am it's not 10am it opens at 10. It's 9:45. A line around the corner. I'm like, it's not the day before Thanksgiving before Fourth of July. It's a midday in February. Y'all need Costco that bad? You're lining up with those gigantic carts.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

What are you nuts? Like, it's just Costco, but it is awesome.

[Nicole Byer]

Isn't it funny that the gas isn't sold in bulk?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, it is.

[Nicole Byer]

Why is everything else sold in bulk but not gas?

[Josh Peck]

So true.

[Nicole Byer]

Why?

[Ben]

Very interesting.

[Nicole Byer]

A Full tank and then a little bit extra for the same price as a full tank.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. Bring like a little 2 liter.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Peck]

And throw it in there.

[Ben]

Or why can't you buy 10 tanks at once and then come back for all the tanks?

[Josh Peck]

Have a tab. A tank tab.

[Ben]

A tank tab.

[Nicole Byer]

Technically you can, but you're paying for those 10 tanks. You can fill up a tank of gas anywhere, but I think Costco should price it in bulk.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, otherwise what are we doing? That's Costco, but it's a little cheaper.

[Josh Peck]

And I love it.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have to have a membership to get gas there?

[Josh Peck]

You do.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow.

[Josh Peck]

Worth it. But you don't need a membership to eat.

[Nicole Byer]

No. And they have soft serve and that's nice.

[Josh Peck]

It's delish.

[Nicole Byer]

Ugh. I love soft serve.

[Josh Peck]

We would have much time to call Kenny.

[Nicole Byer]

Have you ever. Have you ever been to the window in Silver Lake?

[Josh Peck]

Mm. Mm.

[Nicole Byer]

They have this, it's called like a. A peanut butty. So it's a cone with vanilla soft serve and they give you a nice amount. Almost too much for one person to hold on a cone. Then they dip it in the chocolate and then they put peanuts on it, chopped peanuts before it like hardens. Oh my God. The other day I had one. It was the bell of the ball on the block. I was licking it and people were like, hello. And I was like up. And I was like, why are all these men giving me attention? It's like cuz you're walking around licking a cone. Like truly slurping on a cone. And then I had to finish it over the sink because there was so much ice cream. It went right through the cone. And I was like, I'm not throwing this away. I'm going to eat anyway. My. What are you nuts? Is. How come. How come pants are different? How come you could order pants from the same brand, same size and it'll just be different? It won't fit you. If I know my size, you should send me the exact same jeans that I bought before. Why are we doing this to people? Well, why is an extra large different in different brands? Why isn't there just a central like sizing thing for the people for me?

[Ben]

Preach.

[Nicole Byer]

Our stores. Nuts.

[Ben]

Nuts.

[Nicole Byer]

Nuts.

[Josh Peck]

Nicole, do you want to plug anything? What do you. Where do you want the people to go? Tell us?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, you had an aneurysm. You can go to Nicole Byerwith taken.com. that's my website. Because nicolebuyer.com was taken.com shaken and I.

[Josh Peck]

Won'T take it back.

[Nicole Byer]

No, there's no point. Just make a different website. Yeah, but I will be in Nashville the week this comes out next weekend. I'm in Nashville, but I'm also going to be, like, in Austin, Portland, Miami. I think I'm going back to Denver. Maybe it's D.C. i don't know. But all my tour dates should be there. She's on the road again because Hollywood won't make anything here.

[Josh Peck]

So true.

[Nicole Byer]

Come on, Gabby Newsome, give us some tax credits.

[Josh Peck]

God, please. Jeez. No, it's cool. I want to make more things in New Mexico.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I can't wait to go back to Atlanta.

[Josh Peck]

When's Trump gonna get a hold of New Mexico? I mean, truly, he got the Gulf of America. He's, you know, he's plotting and planning. It's staying New Mexico. Damn it.

[Nicole Byer]

I hope he just names it New America.

[Josh Peck]

Could you imagine?

[Nicole Byer]

That would be really fucking funny. Truly, we're living the dumbest Google. Change it to the Gulf of America. What are we doing? What are we doing?

[Josh Peck]

Funny.

[Nicole Byer]

Who gives a shit? Canada is going to be the 51st state. What are we doing? Yeah, that's too big to be one state. Come on, break that shit up. Oh, my God.

[Ben]

This episode is 5 stars. Otherwise. What are you, nuts? Listen to us wherever YouTube podcast. Watch us on YouTube, share our clips Instagram and TikTok. Monday and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.

[Nicole Byer]

Are you reading that or do you have it memorized?

[Ben]

Oh, memorize, baby.

[Nicole Byer]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.